Life on the PTSD List with Kathy Griffin

The iconic Kathy Griffin joins Chelsea to have a frank talk about facelifts, spontaneous combustion, and the photo that got her canceled.  Then: A busy professional is ready to build new relationships after friends’ passing. And a 34-year-old is ready to retire… or maybe marry Kathy? 

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea. It's Thursday. Does anyone want to
know if I moved into my house? I do not yet.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
No, delayed, delayed, delayed, delayed.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Is that why we're not at your house? We're not
my house recording right now.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
I can't wait until I sell this house and to
give somebody our brand new podcast room that we never have.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
Gotten to you, and we've used it a couple of times.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
So I am still staying with my friend, yes, and
just planning your next move. I'm just we're going to
my Erica soon. I am going out to my Orca. Yes,
I'm going to my Orca. I'm doing I have the
month of September in LA. They say they are almost finished.
This is what they tell me every week, every time,
every time. I now, we're waiting for the power to

(00:43):
be turned back on so that I can go in
and live in my house through the final stages of
the construction, just to get out of my friend's house
so that she doesn't have to deal with me sleeping
in her fucking bed with her because her nephew moved
in and now I'm in her bed and I have
Doug and on see my friend Kat, who I'm staying
with shout out to Kat Samic. Actually I don't even
know if that's how you say her last name, because

(01:06):
someone someone the other day said Kat Samik and I
was like, wait, is it Samic or sa Mik?

Speaker 1 (01:10):
And then I don't remember what she said after that.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
But she has been the most accommodating, hispitable host ever,
Like she has made me food, she has given me
things to ice when I had my foot surgery. So
she has these ice packs at her house that like
I've never seen contraptions like this where she has. She
has a contraption that ice is your big toe and
the arch of your foot or the ball of your foot,

(01:34):
but not the other four.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Toes, so you put it on the big toe.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
She has an ice contraption for like the back of
if you want to ice the bottom of your chin
and then strap it to your head like a facelipped
ice math.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
She has one of those.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
She has like like one of those knee sleeves but
for your shoulder.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
She has every wow And like the.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Other day, I said, because my feet or my foot
is finally healing from my foot surgery, and it's just
it's a little bit still swollen. Still it's gonna be
for a couple of months, I think, they said. But
I'm able to do stuff. And she came home the
other night with this paraffin wax foot footholders. I of
course put them on and then get got up to
try and get Doug and went flying.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
But that's on me.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
But she's like a lover like cat. So shout out
to my friend Kat for having me and being the
best host and putting up with all of my shenanigans.
My bell's there every morning fucking chiding up my bullshit
on my side of the bed.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
And maybe as a thank you, you can learn how
to pronounce your last name.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, honestly,
I have nothing left to give.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Do you know that?

Speaker 2 (02:36):
You know when I was using the analogy with my friend,
I said, you know what the problem with this house is.
I love to be involved in people's lives, like I
love to be the friend that's going to go the
extra mile, that's going to make the extra phone call,
that's going to be honest and tell you the truth,
and really show up when you have such a fucking
weight of coal on you. I my ability and bandwidth
is has shrunk total. I don't have any time for

(03:00):
any bullshit or any anyone else's problems, which is a
selfish thing to say, And it's not entirely true because
I have, you know, but my bandwidth is diminished by
a large margin.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
And I I I that Manslow's hierarchy of needs.

Speaker 3 (03:17):
Right, It's like your actual place we are living is nonexistent,
you know, it's not you don't have the safety of
somewhere to go home at night, well, your own place
to go home at night and right unload and unpack
and unwined and so like, you don't have.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
That extra to be giving.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
That makes total sense to me.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Okay, well then that's that explains yes, when you're off
the hook.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, everybody, that's my deal. That's my deal. Suck it up. Well,
I'm really excited about our guest.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Oh yeah, she's awesome. Okay, So our guest today has
a new special. It's called Life on the PTSD list.
It's now available on YouTube. Please welcome Kathy Griffin. Kathy
Griffin is here and I'm very excited a to have
a conversation, an open conversation about plastic search.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
Five weeks ago, I had a facelift.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
So fresh off a facelift, yes, okay, because I'm about
to do a little nip and tucking myself, I need
my neck.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
A little bit.

Speaker 4 (04:08):
I got the neck pull.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm not like.

Speaker 4 (04:11):
Have you had it?

Speaker 5 (04:12):
No?

Speaker 4 (04:12):
It's painful, so you will have to turn like your
entire upper body for a while, which is kind of comical,
but just don't kid yourself. It is someone cutting the
back of your neck, open back of your neck, pulling
it as hard. Yes here, I have a little left
over here, but I also have one back there, and

(04:33):
so it's a yank. Okay, it is there's no other
way to put it.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
And how do you get them to make sure that
you don't look pulled and that you look just fresh
rather than that.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
I think I've had. I think the first one I had,
I was only thirty eight, which was dumb. It was
too young, and nobody even knew. I didn't even need it.
I just talked into it. And the second one I
think I looked pulled because that was the style of
the day, right, And now they started at like the

(05:04):
top of my ear, so they didn't start up like
in my forehead. So the poll was more lateral, and
I think that's why it doesn't look I don't have
like the I'm not dissing Joe Biden, but I don't
have the Joe Biden like eyes are going up.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
How did Joe Biden have time to get a facelift
while he was the president?

Speaker 4 (05:23):
Okay, here's what he didn't have time for. He didn't
have time to recover. Yeah, I mean you can get
the facelift. It takes five hours.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
It does take a period of time to settle in.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yes, it takes is that of time?

Speaker 1 (05:35):
What is that period of time?

Speaker 4 (05:36):
Okay, so my guy told me that it would be
three months till I could go on camera. Well, here
I am, it's five weeks. No one does and you
won't need three months.

Speaker 5 (05:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:47):
I did do the hyperbar chamber every day.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah, okay, great, But then you just told me that
two people exploded in hyper bear chain.

Speaker 4 (05:55):
People have passed away in hyperbarl neighbors, and one was
a child in a hospital and one was a grown
man last week. And what the hyperbaric chamber place that
I go to told me was that it was related
to whatever batteries the person had taken into the chamber.
So for example, I would put my phone. They would

(06:17):
put my phone on top of the chamber on the outside.
Then I would have the battery operated speaker like right
next to my ear, and I'd be listening to audiobooks
during the ninety minutes. But I'll be honest now, I'm
spooked and I'm afraid to go back at.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
All because when I've used that hyperbaric chamber center or
the one on Beverly, have you ever been there?

Speaker 3 (06:36):
No?

Speaker 2 (06:36):
Okay, well I've used that before when I had shoulder surgery.
I went in there a few.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
Times and did it help?

Speaker 2 (06:40):
I mean, I don't know, you can't. There's not I
mean everyone says it's great. I have one at home,
but it's a low pressure one. It's like called hyperbaric
chamber pressure like low U said, dog sea health or
some boxa health okay, and that's it's like you zip
yourself in so clearly, like you need an attendant for
the ones you're going in.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
When I shot, they said you can't take your anymore,
so you just have to lay there for ninety minutes.
And I said, no, no, that's too boring. I can't
do it. No, exactly who I'd rather.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
I need a book or a TV.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Need a book. I want to talk about books too,
because I've never read so much in my life since
this facelift.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Oh see, isn't that sounds like the recovery.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
That's exactly what I'm looking forward to toocovery.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
And really play the pity card. I mean, really play
up the pain and the pity and oh my god,
I can't move, and then of course blame society.

Speaker 2 (07:28):
And then but also take tons of pills because I
love drug cool.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
I mean, it's just another excuse to get don't go
with tyland On.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
I know anyone who says to me and I've seen
a metafite at eight hundred, I'm like, don't talk to you,
like even be talking about melatonin.

Speaker 4 (07:43):
I will pay me pills, thank you.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
That's anything over the counter. I'm not interested.

Speaker 4 (07:49):
You want to be fighting with your pharmacist.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
So this is your So this is amazing, So this
is your.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
Third way hold on. So facelift, neck pull and upper eyes.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
It isn't about it, Like doesn't a next goes with
a lower face lift?

Speaker 4 (08:01):
Well yes, but I had them both because I gotta
say he really did give me my jaw line back,
not that I had like big jowls, but look, I'm
sixty four and a half and so just regular skin happens,
and so I just I'm not trying to look, you know, forty,
But I just thought, if he can do it in

(08:22):
a way where I don't look crazy done, then I'm
gonna do it. And I hope you think this is funny.
And she's openly talked about this, but I went to
Sia's doctor. And the reason I think that's funny is
because Cia the Chandelier songstress is known for wearing a
backwards wig, and we don't even know what her face

(08:43):
looks like exactly. I mean, you and I know because
we know it. But I thought, I still think it's
funny that she even got a facelift and no one
knows what she looks like.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
But he has also adopted like some grown men. Right,
she's adopted two grown men, two eighteen year old masts.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Right, yes, so another.

Speaker 4 (09:01):
Has a baby? Has an eighteen month old?

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Did she have a baby or did she adopt a baby?

Speaker 4 (09:06):
She did surrogate?

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Okay, yeah, and you're the surrogate of course.

Speaker 4 (09:10):
Obviously, she wondered as many of my genes as how.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Many babies have you been a surrogate too?

Speaker 4 (09:14):
Seventeen? And I am sore. So I will, by the way,
I will not get the downstairs rejuvenation, no matter how
sexy it's supposed to make you feel. I don't believe
in it. I don't. I think a woman hating man
must have come up with that idea. But I will

(09:36):
tell you this. During my facelift, I believe they may
have taken my entire ears off and put them on
a side table and then just have line reattach them
and then reattach them.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Let me show you what something you can see the scars,
what looks also like your hairline was shaped.

Speaker 4 (09:55):
I'm now doing rogaine, which says nothing on the bottle
except this is not for women. If you're a woman,
don't use this. And he was like, ignore that. So
I'm almost blowing up in hyperbaric chambers, reading a lot
and using men's real gain.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, and who knows if that's flammable or if that's
a component into well.

Speaker 4 (10:15):
What if I get a bush again?

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Let me show you something that is happening to my ears.
You see my ears, how they're a little bit flappy.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
They look like labia.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Right, they look like a little bit like they've been
stretched out like a labia. So I'm getting my when
I do whenever we're talking about now, when I do
my next thing, I'm going to get my ears trimmed.
This is a surgical question where they cut them a
little bit and reattached because they only get longer as
you get older.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
I mean, you just reminded me. And listen, I've asked
some friends.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
Most people will be like, you don't need to do
anything age naturally, blah blah blah. As naturally as I'm
going to. Obviously, I'm not going to do it bad
after I'm gonna that's already.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
Out, also the conversation, and also the truck has already
left the station.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
So, but the ear thing is not very common for
people to do. But the people that I've asked, including
a plastic surgeon, he goes, you should definitely take care
of that.

Speaker 4 (11:04):
I mean, first of all, it's not an issue. But
I didn't even know that existed. It's kind of genius.
So let me tell you about the mouth part, which
is weird my version of the ear thing because I
didn't know it existed. But by the way, I think
the doctor I went to might have invented this. His
name is doctor Tally. I recommend him.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Whatever does he give you free surgery because you him
at all.

Speaker 4 (11:27):
He is incredibly expensive. Now he's not the Christian or
guy who's a million doctor in New York. I believe
I may be wrong. Allegedly doctor Levine is a million,
a million dollars million. And when I mentioned that, someone
said to me, oh, there's like six guys in LA

(11:50):
that are now up to a million, and these dames
are paying it and some guys are.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
That's ridiculous, first of all, because cost a million dollars
to get a faceline.

Speaker 1 (11:58):
No, that's just taking advance, right.

Speaker 4 (12:01):
But no, I'm not. I am, in no way a
paid spokesperson. This is the first time I've even said
his name. Because so far the results are good, and
that's that. But there's a thing with the corners of
my mouth, where as you get older, the very end
corners start to go down a little a little bit
of drooling. I'm already doing a lot of drolling, running

(12:25):
and tearing for no reason. I'm sobbing right now, and
she's an emotional wreck. He sews just a little bit
of the outside of your mouth, and so I'm just
owning that as a hardcore feminist, I paid a man

(12:48):
to sew my mouth shut.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Is it hard to acclimate to having a smaller mouth?

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Like?

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Can you fix it? Does it physically feel?

Speaker 4 (13:00):
I noticed it in an out burger because when I
got sprung from the Rich Lady Healing Place, which is
its own situation comedy.

Speaker 1 (13:09):
Is that the center? Yeah, all recovery center. Yes.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
I don't want to get in any trouble as I've
been sued seven times since my trump head photo. So
I won't say the real name, but in my act
I call it immortal, right, because that's how they want
you to feel. Did you just take your hand and
just move your face a little.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Bit while I'm watching you?

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Actually, I'm giving my face lift a bit of a
face in your face and everything that you're talking about.
I mean, I can't be enjoying a conversation.

Speaker 4 (13:39):
More you've got that.

Speaker 1 (13:42):
I'm just like, where else can I pinch?

Speaker 4 (13:44):
And it's like shopping.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
But I wonder if because you got a facelift at
thirty eight, if that was too early?

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Do you think that's too early?

Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Because you said you've got three facelifts, like that seems
like too many.

Speaker 4 (13:55):
Okay, it's too many because my forehead is so high
that he actually said, and I'm quoting, you have too
much real estate up there, so I can't give you
the very trendy ponytail facelift, which is the one everyone's getting,
where I believe I may be wrong. They cut a

(14:16):
circular basically a hole at the crown of your head,
yank all the skin evenly, then sew it up, so
it's like if you're wearing the tightest ponytail you've ever.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Worn, which we all know makes is already a facelift.
Getting a tight high ponytail is like anytime I.

Speaker 4 (14:33):
Do anything, should have prescription drugs that go with it
as well as it hurt just for one day. Yeah,
and so I have too much real estate. I'm doing
your quotes to have gotten the ponytail. But that's really
if you want like the trendiest of the trend, it's
the million dollar ponytail.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
Okay, we have so much to talk about, Kathy, because
so much has happened. You mentioned the trumpet thing, which
made me so irate that you thank you. This is
years ago, but like you know, always that still lives.
I know, and it's so unfair to you because I
just I feel like you have been treated so unfairly
in your career, and I know you've gone through so
much personal bullshit too, with all fucking men that you've married.

Speaker 4 (15:14):
Such losers.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
I know, Like, where do we even begin.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
Let's I don't want to harp on the Trump stuff
because you've moved past that and.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
You're but I did get a death threat to my
personal email last week, and I was like, how did
they get my like even in as ever happened.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
But that's easy to get threats. I wouldn't take. Don't
be too flat of that, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (15:36):
Like, I call the FBI anyway, and I know them.
I know them. They come to my house.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
Seriously, I'm not tell because I'm sure I'll be interested
in helping.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
I have been, Chelsea. I've been in Twitter fights with
all these people that are now in the cabinet. Like
during the first term, I was like, it's go time,
you know, before Elon bought Twitter and now it's a
Nazi playground. But I've been in fights with half of
the fucking cabinet I just I am not even in
a political comic. I just tell stories about celebrities, and

(16:12):
now I'm in fights with cash Ptel.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
So tell me when that whole Trump backlash. And for
those of you who aren't familiar, Kathy posted a photo
or was it a photo?

Speaker 4 (16:20):
Yeah, it was a photo of me holding a Trump
Halloween mask that I had put one of my wig
heads behind because it kept folding, and I put ketchup
on it to look like blood, and I was holding
it like Perseus and Medusa, so I was holding it up.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Familiar with those two Greek mythology, got it.

Speaker 4 (16:40):
And so I thought it was sort of a statement,
a very tongue in cheek. Obviously not a legitimate threat,
but the reaction to it was so seismic that to
this day, eight years later, Number one, it's it's the
thing I'm asked about more than anything. But people are
still in magaworld as pissed as if it was yesterday,

(17:04):
and they keep reposting the picture. Nobody reposts that picture
more than Maga people. So the I was then put
on the no fly list, the Inner Poll List, which
is the international version of the No fly list, the
Five Eyes List, which is the ISIS terror watch list.
I was out of work for six and a half years,

(17:24):
I mean six and a half one and my agents
even said the word they're using is squeamish. They're squeamish,
and especially now that he's back in office. And then
I did have one network be honest and say we
know you can do the job, we know you're an earner,

(17:46):
we know you've made a lot of money for a
lot of companies over the years. But we have Middle
America viewers also, and they just wouldn't have it. And
that is the part that I still am and kind
of shock about. Like it was a photo of a
Halloween mask, but he tweeted about it, then the wife

(18:09):
tweeted about it, and then all of MAGA world got
very involved and everyone turned on me, like left, right,
and center. It wasn't just MAGA. People like l Franklin
called me and I was supposed to do a book
event for him, and he broke my heart because he
was like, what were you thinking? I can't be seen
with you and I was just sobbing and like handed

(18:30):
the phone off to my assistant. It was dark, and
then I got fired on the ticker from CNN New
Year's Eve. I used to do New Year's Eve on
CNN with Anderson Cooper and then he made a statement
like everybody felt compelled to make a statement and call
me a terrorist and say that American service members were

(18:51):
going to be beheaded in my name and that I
was a recruiting tool for ISIS, and this went on
and goes on to this day.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Well, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that,
Thank you. I mean, six years is an incredibly long
time not to work, and it's just another testament to
your resiliency.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
So talk about that a little bit, like.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
Talk about how you pull yourself out of something like that.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
Well, first of all, I didn't do very well. I
became addicted to pills to the point where I tried
to overdose and take my life. I was on a
fifty one to fifty psych hold for three days, which
ended up being a good thing for me because it
got me into AA and that's great. I went through
a very very painful divorce because I truly thought I

(19:36):
was going to be with this guy forever. And I
got lung cancer even though I've never smoked, and I
have half a lung on my left side. I was
injured during the lung cancer surgery and permanently paralyzed my
left vocal cord. So I was the comedian that couldn't
talk and I had a voice like mini mouse for

(19:58):
three years. And then Sea said, you know there's a
doctor in La doctor Anka Barbou, a woman of color,
and she can do an implant. And I was like
what none of the old white guy doctors. And I
went to every fancy doctor in La going there has

(20:22):
to be away you get fixed. My look god, And
I went to this woman and she was like, I
can fix your voice, and she goes, I can give
you at least thirty percent more of your speaking voice,
and she gave me eighty percent more. And then I
finally got a call from the Mirage in Vegas, even
though they had made a statement about me during the

(20:43):
Trump stuff saying she's a terrorist, she'll never be welcome
here again. And they called me for the first job
offer in six and a half years and said you
want to come back and do a show. And I
was like crying, going yes, of course, and then I go,
but wait, what happened to the guy that made that
statemid about me? And she goes, oh, he's dead. So

(21:05):
now I've decided to just wait them out. And I
think a lot of the resilience is just not quitting.

Speaker 5 (21:12):
Well.

Speaker 2 (21:12):
First of all, the irony and the fact that a
woman was able to give you your voice back and
then a man tried to sew your mouth shut.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Second of all, I would like to say, at first,
I love you.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
I hope you feel loved, because I would hate.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
I can't imagine the loneliness that you must have felt
during that time.

Speaker 4 (21:33):
Chelsey, Everybody don't me, Like seventy five percent of my
friends just headed for the hills, just didn't return calls
or would go out of their way to be what
were you thinking? And once again you're going to get
people killed like it was. And by the way, they
never came back, like when people are like it's got
to be so gratifying when people call you and say

(21:54):
they're sorry. I'm like, no, not one nobody's been like
oh sorry. That was kind of a reaction. And now
it's so clear because we see Trump and his machine
do this to Rosy o'dama last weekend, probably like when
my incident happened. It was three days after Robert Muller
was appointed. I think that's why he used me as

(22:16):
that deflection. I think he went after Rosie last weekend
because he's on videotape with Jeffrey Epstein dancing at a
party with miners.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
This whole Epstein thing is so cartoonish.

Speaker 2 (22:28):
He has been demanding to see these Epstein files for years.
He has been the one demanding, and now he's like,
shut up about It's like, can we please just put
a video of him saying where are these files?

Speaker 1 (22:41):
In front of his face?

Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yes, he's The style of interview that they're doing is
not cutting the muscle.

Speaker 4 (22:46):
It's not an interview. Our press is letting us down. Now.
I know the good press has been excluded and they've
lost the press passes. I get it, but there's got
to be some way for our press to push back harder.
Because he is on video with the Eppsteen at a
party with minors.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
This may be so ridiculous if this was the straw
that broke the camel's back, because the maga isn't letting
this Epstein tape go rapist. It's like, so what's different
because this is young girls, like that's their that's their baseline.
That's their line that you can't cross, you can rape,
but you can't rape.

Speaker 4 (23:21):
Remember they've been What they've been feeding off is that
the they were so sure that Hillary Clinton and me
were in the basement of a pizza parlor harvesting baby parts,
then if I if you knew how many people sent
me pizza emojis.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
Yes, apparently I've never been there, obviously, not.

Speaker 5 (23:51):
As if.

Speaker 4 (23:52):
And I've even made a video basically saying as if.
And they're like, that's an admission, and I'm like, no, no, no,
that's not I don't know where they is.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
If I were, it would be stupid enough.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Hey, as if I would ever subscribe to that kind
of behavior.

Speaker 6 (24:07):
Ever, people are taking advantage of young women.

Speaker 4 (24:10):
Ever ever, Ever, look at our body of work. It
speaks for itself. Look at our outside behavior and speaks
for itself. And so I think the MAGA people are
still obsessed, and I think they paid attention more to
the Epstein news than things like the Egen Carol trials,
like the thirty four counts he was convicted of. Because

(24:30):
I know a lot of MAGA people, and I know
friends that have lost a cousin to MAGA or I
have a girlfriend who lost her son to MAGA and
she can't even talk to him. And they are very
invested in Epstein. But it's because they thought Hilary was
going to be caught red handed molesting girls with Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
And also, why can't he just alter the list like
he lies?

Speaker 4 (24:59):
He cann It's an ex self spreadsheet. They put Oprah's
name on there, for God's sake.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
He can just edit his name off of it.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
I know.

Speaker 4 (25:06):
But maybe the cat's out of the bag, like maybe
this is the thing that could cause a fissure.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
Maybe yeah, I mean that's what it's seeming like. But
I just don't understand why he didn't handle this differently.
Why not release a list that's fake. He lies about
everything anyway, Like poles aren't real, this isn't real. Economy
is doing great, blah blah blah. So just make up
a fake list and put it out there with them
Bondi's signature.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
And Brodino or whoever these other idiots are.

Speaker 5 (25:33):
I know.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Okay, we're gonna take a break and we're going to
be right back and we're back with Kathy Griffin. Okay,
so let's talk, keep talking, about resiliency because you've been
through a lot, as you just stated, and now you're
going you went through to another divorce.

Speaker 1 (25:50):
How many divorces?

Speaker 4 (25:51):
Is this too?

Speaker 1 (25:52):
Too?

Speaker 3 (25:52):
So?

Speaker 6 (25:52):
Three facelifts, two divorces, one cancelation right.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
By the way, let's just call it what it is,
the cancelation the case, as far as showbiz, kind of
the ultimate and it really stuck.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
How do you feel about your life?

Speaker 1 (26:09):
Like do what do you think your purpose has been?

Speaker 4 (26:12):
I think that this ultimately is my calling because, like
I mentioned, I've been in I've been sued seven times
since the Trump photo. I think I'm the most sued comedian.
I don't know about Lenny Bruce if he was sued,
because I know it was local police that harassed him,
and local police harassed George Carlin. But I had the

(26:33):
fence coming after me, and so I've had many maga
people sue me for things I tweeted.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
And I did have any of them won these lawsuits,
not one.

Speaker 4 (26:43):
I'm batting one thousand. My legal bills are insane, but
I love my lawyers. They're brilliant, and I have big news,
which is last Thursday, my last case was dismissed. So
knocking on wood, and I kind of doubt a lot
of maggi of people are listening to this, But hopefully

(27:04):
no one's listening to this thinking, oh wait a minute,
I want cat. They have a lawsuit at all times.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
So when you say back to that question, when I
ask you what your purpose is and your purpose.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
Is this, when you say this, what do you mean this?
I think it's the deal with lawsuits.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
No, I think it's I'm wearing my First Amendment T shirt.
I think it's if I have a purpose. My number
one purpose, hopefully is to make people laugh. That's always
my goal. Like I said, I'm not a political comic.
I'm not Bill Maher, I never was. I tell stories
about the freaking Kardashians. And yet I think now my

(27:39):
purpose is to be able to tell people what the
First Amendment really is. And it's not when a private
company accuses you of defamation. It's when the government. And
I had the federal government. I was investigated by the
Department of Justice, two agencies within the DOJ, the Attorney's

(28:00):
Office and the Secret Service, and I was interrogated under
oath for the crime of conspiracy to assassinate the president
of the United States. Oh my god. And if I
had failed that interrogation, I could have gone to prison.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
So now you're working now.

Speaker 4 (28:18):
I can't believe it. I did a seventy five city tour.
I got to play Carnegie Hall again, I got to
play Boston Symphony Hall again. I got to play the
Will Turn here in Los Angeles, like every show was
a gift. And now I'm going back on the road
in November. I'll be at Planet Hollywood November eighth. I've
added more dates and I just can't wait. Every show

(28:40):
is special and I while I lost a large part
of my audience because I can't play the riverboats in
the South anymore, and those did pay well, but I
think I gained some like social justice warrior types.

Speaker 7 (28:56):
I'm sure.

Speaker 4 (28:56):
And when I was taping my special, which no one
bought so I'm just gonna put it on YouTube. So fine,
that's the story of my life. But when I even
mentioned the Trump photo as a reference point, the audience
spontaneously burst into a pause, and I almost weld up
because it was such a shock, after all of the

(29:19):
adverse to put a lightly adverse reaction. It was amazing
to me to hear people clapping at the mention of
that photo, which is not a threat. I just want
to reiterate that photo is not a threat. I have
no desire to kill the president. I'm not decapitating anybody.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
I want to ask you a question for as from
a like a female standpoint. Do you feel respected as
a stand up comedian?

Speaker 4 (29:51):
No, I don't. I feel like a lot of the
guys don't think I'm a real comic because I don't
tell traditional jokes with like a setup a punchline. I
tell stories and sometimes the story goes for two minutes
that's just a setup, and then there's seven jokes in
a row, and sometimes it has a joke every thirty.
So I don't know. But you know, I've never been

(30:14):
on the comedians and cars getting coffee or whatever. I
think there's a lot of you know, I have a
YouTube show now that i'm It's a money losing business proposition,
but I'm having a blast doing it. It's called Kathy
Griffin Talk your head off, get it. But I told
a story on there about the one time I went

(30:36):
on the Stephen Colbert Show because I'm such a fan
of his, and he really came at me hard about
the Trump Ahead picture and tried to convince me that
I had violated the First Amendment. And I walked off stage,
and I really did burst into tears the minute I
was in the wings and it was a pre tape,

(30:57):
and the executive producer said, I'll give you beautiful edit.
I'll give you a beautiful and I just said to him,
what was that? And he said, Stephen just couldn't get
beyond the picture. Like that shocked me because I feel like,
especially the Colbert Report, maybe more so than his current show,
was all about the First Amendment. And I said to him,

(31:19):
but Stephen, you know that that's our commodity, is the
First Amendment. You know that picture was covered by the way.
I did call my lawyer before I posted it, so
people think I just posted it because I'm so stupid. No,
I called my lawyer and he said, yes, it's covered
by the First Amendment. Any person who's not a well
known comedian could recreate that picture tomorrow and it's covered

(31:43):
by the First Amendment. Now in today's environment, I don't
recommend it, but it is definitely covered by the First Amendment.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
But also like on TikTok, it's not like obviously an
easy visual, but people are having that conversation every single day.

Speaker 4 (31:59):
You're just an early you know.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Do you think that are you open to having another
or taking another lover?

Speaker 1 (32:04):
Husband, boyfriend? Are you done with men?

Speaker 5 (32:06):
How?

Speaker 4 (32:07):
I'm trying to get to the done with men stage
because the women that you and I know Jane fond
of Sharon Stone, the women that are like you know what.
I think women are leveling up right now. I think
that we're in a phase with guys, with the Joe
Roganization of America and the Andrew Tate and the Curtis

(32:28):
Jarvins going around. I'm not there yet because I was
a serial monogamist and I was with this guy for
twelve years. But I'm getting there, and that's where I
want to be. What about you?

Speaker 2 (32:41):
I'm not interested in men right now and at all
I find the idea preposterous.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
Okay, what is it about being without a guy that
you like?

Speaker 1 (32:51):
Everything?

Speaker 5 (32:52):
I like?

Speaker 2 (32:52):
Am I to be alone? I want to sleep alone.
I don't want to hear you breathing. I don't want
to smell you, and I don't want I don't want
breath coming towards me, and I don't want sweating body
parts on me. I haven't met a man in the
last six months that I have felt like I want
to fuck this guy. Like I was in Glastonbury a
few weeks ago and I was talking to this guy

(33:13):
and he was French, and I've known this guy for
many years, and my girlfriends.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Are like, oh, look, look, look, look like what about him?
What about him?

Speaker 2 (33:19):
And I was like, yeah, he's not gross. And then
I was talking to him. I had a couple of
drinks with him, he smoked a cigarette, and then afterward
I was like, Oh, I'm looking at him and I'm
thinking I could fuck this guy, and then I thought, no,
I can't, because you're fucking disgusting.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
And he bring something, he bring something innately.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
That is like there's like I have an I'm having
an allergic reaction to men right now. And I know
that it's because of, you know, the backdrop politically, the
fact that I know, like most of the men that
i'm dealing with arn Trump supporters. But it's a bigger, larger,
broader picture. It's because we're in this situation to begin
with that makes me angry at men. And I'm not
a man hater. I do want I want I want

(34:01):
to want to be with you, but I don't want
to be with you right, And I am so fiercely independent.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
And when I travel since I mean, I know you
travel as much as I do.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
I'm sure, I just don't want to do that with
the same person. Yeah, I want a variety.

Speaker 4 (34:15):
You know, it's funny my last tour because I was
diagnosed with complex PTSD and you can make fun of it.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
I can't imagine why.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
I mean, he's I'm a drama queen. I'm a hysterical
woman and I'm on the rag. I'm on the rag
right now at sixty four.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Well, yeah, you're still getting your periods. Why do you
think your hair is so red?

Speaker 4 (34:33):
Because I haven't stitched up my vagina yet, and that's
the only thing I haven't done. So I'm the last
tour of seventy five cities. What I did it was
life changing. You know, I don't have an opener. I
do two hours and I brought a friend Joe.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah, face off, you take your face off. I'm just
looking at our time to make sure we don't.

Speaker 4 (34:56):
Now, would you sleep with him tonight?

Speaker 1 (34:58):
No?

Speaker 2 (34:59):
No, once I'm done, No, not any night ever. Again,
there's no circumstance.

Speaker 7 (35:04):
There is no EI.

Speaker 2 (35:04):
There is not one ex boyfriend of mine, okay, that
I would ever be able to fuck again.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
Okay, once I'm done, it's a wrap, I say, and same,
no revisitation.

Speaker 4 (35:14):
Even if you think about the honeymoon phase and how
the section is super hot.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
At the beginning, the information I have about all of
my exposition doesn't have to not make me want to
have sex with them a gun. Yeah, you know, and
I come friends with most of them, but that took
a long time too, you know.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
I need like a ten year breakoff.

Speaker 4 (35:31):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
And then when I see you, I could be like, okay,
and it could be cool.

Speaker 4 (35:35):
Yeah, I'm friends with one, but not well, there was
one boyfriend in between the two husbands, and I'm friendly
with him, but the two husbands no, Okay. So I
take a babysitter with me every pod. So you know
how like I go out like three cities, then I
come home for five days. Then I go out and
do four cities and I come home for six days.
So every time I would bring and I called them

(35:59):
a babysitter, and it would be a homosexual man or
one of my girlfriends or a gay woman or whatever.
But they would just have a coffee clutch with me
in the morning, maybe do a walk, hang out backstage
and just laugh. And it just helped tremendously because my

(36:20):
this is so bad. Both of my husbands, I made
them my tour manager. Yeah, well hello, I know, and
everybody told me at the time, and I went and
then you didn't.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Learn the first time. You did it again? No, what
about financially? How are you financially?

Speaker 4 (36:38):
I'm really good. I'm good at two things. I'm funny
and I'm good with money.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
Because it feels like you've given a lot of money away.

Speaker 4 (36:45):
I have given a lot of money away. And like
I said, my legal and then I'm working for six years. Correct.
But I also was raised by depression parents, use it up,
where it out, make it do. And I also was
raised by Susie Orman, the financial advisor. And so all
those years of touring and being on TV shows, I

(37:06):
just socked it away, socked it away, stalked.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Do you just save your mind?

Speaker 4 (37:10):
I have very conservative investments, like sure, I'll invest in
Berkshire Hathaway and I just let it sit there. I
don't day trade, I don't weak trade. I don't take
tips from people. I have my money in a third
real estate, a third stocks, a third bond, well I
should say quarters, and then a quarter cash.

Speaker 2 (37:29):
Rosie was there for you when you went through your thing, right, Yes?
Did you have you spoken to her since her thing?

Speaker 5 (37:35):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (37:36):
She gave me a statement to put out.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Oh okay when that happened.

Speaker 4 (37:39):
Yes, immediately, and she wrote the perfect statement. It was funny,
it was honest, and it hit him where he lived,
and of course he lost his mind. Remember she went
after him first eighteen years ago when she sat on
the view and said he was broke and had gone bankrupt,
and that ticked him off. Then you combine that with

(38:02):
the Seth Meyers hosting the amazing White House Correspondence dinner
and then former President Obama doing that hilarious monologue, which
also I sort of blame those two guys in a
way too, because they didn't mean to. But when I
picture Trump sitting there at that table watching Obama get

(38:23):
those monstrously huge laughs making fun of him and also
saying stuff that's true, I just and I know Donald
fairly well, I don't know if you know him.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
No, he came up and introduced himself to me once
at one of these restaurants on Sunset Bulevard.

Speaker 1 (38:39):
He's, yeah, hello, Chelsea, I'm Donald Trump. I want to
introduce myself.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
This was before he was the president, before he ran
and I was disgusted at that moment as well.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
Yes, the same reaction I've always had to him, which
is discussed.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
And he loves celebrities, so it doesn't surprise me at
all that he would just go up and just say
as if he knows you already, Hi, Chelsea, you should
know me. Yes, I've known him since the nineties. He
hired me one time to roast him. I'm not a
classic roaster, but as part of a challenge, I'm the apprentice.
One of the challenges was put on a show and

(39:12):
he called me and he said, will you be the host?
And I said where is it? And he said my
club at Bedminster in Jersey. And I said, Donald, I
didn't want to fly all the way across the country.
And I said, but if you want me to mc
and I think he offered me ten thousand dollars and
I said, I'll do it for fifty and he did.
He paid me fifty and I said, but wait, if

(39:34):
I am C who's like the main act and it
was Liza Minelli, so I was like, I'm in So
I will say I did get to spend the day
with Liza Minelli at Bedminster, which was an amazing experience.
What was that like? Well, first of all, I love
her unconditionally, and if she enjoys a doll, then you

(39:57):
know what, girl, you earned it.

Speaker 2 (40:00):
You when you have like a man with legos, women
with dolls.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
Yeah right, No, I mean a pill valley of the dolls.
Oh my god, I don't mean like, no, not an
American girl.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
That was stupid, but you know what it is because
of my close relationship with pills, I just immediately disassociated.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah, doll, you're.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Right, but that's a sixties term, that's a valley of
the dolls exactly.

Speaker 1 (40:30):
But the point taken.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
And I also would like to say on the record
for anybody who's just tuning in for the first episode.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
I love dolls.

Speaker 4 (40:37):
She loved dolls, and you know what, Liza deserves a doll.
And I can't confirm she was on dolls that day,
but she was delightful and maybe the highlight of the
day was watching her take a sharpie and put on
her beauty mark.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
Anyway, this podcast is about love.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
We're gonna take a and faces and divorces and getting canceled.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
We're going to take a break and come back with
Kathy Griffin and take a caller too.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
This week we'd like to hear from actors or people
who work in entertainment. If you have questions about your career,
life artistic expression, right into us at Dear Chelsea Podcast
at gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (41:22):
And we're back with Kathy.

Speaker 4 (41:24):
We are.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
It's great speaking with you. I'm really happy to catch
up with you. Yes, always, I'm.

Speaker 4 (41:28):
Always excited to get a caller text from you.

Speaker 1 (41:31):
I will sometimes I have to check in on you.
I that I really appreciate course, same yours.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
I just I feel bad that I don't check in
more and that you didn't have more support during that time.
You know, it's really it's just such bullshit because I've
done things like that and not gotten the heat that
you've gotten.

Speaker 4 (41:47):
I've done things like that, like I thought that that
picture was going to be on a gay blog for
two days. I never thought. And also I think the
photographer sold it to TMZ and Harvey in my humble
opinion is very much in bed with Trump and a
maga and he's a gay man, so I can't figure

(42:07):
that part out. But anyway, that didn't help. So it
was seismic. I know it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 1 (42:15):
It doesn't make sense, but you're here with us now.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
I'm back on tour and I'm on on my YouTube show,
and i have a Patreon and a sub stack and
I'm just being as productive as possible.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
Are you on OnlyFans?

Speaker 4 (42:26):
I should be you, definitely should. I have a bucket
list goal. I would like to win beaver Hunt, which
is about a beaver. Beaver Hunt is a column in
Hustler magazine. This is a euphemism for pills. Again, it's
no euphemism. It's the beaver, as in shoot the beaver,
and it's where ladies send in a picture spreading their
pussy and it's a contest and then every month someone

(42:50):
has chosen from the beaver Hunt to have the best beav.
And I have a bucket list and I would like
to be a beaver hunt champion and you, I think
you have a great beaver. I think I have a
shot at it.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Is it a redhead beaver?

Speaker 4 (43:03):
Yeah, which you know there's a kink for that.

Speaker 2 (43:06):
That's that's why I'm asking. Yeah, I mean, I know, yeah,
I know. I'm basically, do the curtain match the drapes? Yep, yeah,
do the curtains match the drapes. My syntax is a
little bit off lately. I think it's because of the
pain pills that I'm taking for my foot. Your dolls, Yeah,
the dolls I'm taking from my foot. Okay, Catherine, what
do we have? We have that's going to be fun
for Kathy.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
So Diego will be joining us here, and he says,
Dear Chelsea, I'm a thirty four year old male who's
a bit bored with life. I enjoy sitting around, playing
games on my phone and hanging out with people over fifty,
as I seem to connect with them more so than
peers my age. I interned as an assistant in the
entertainment industry during college for a few names you'd know,
and dropped out of too many law schools to count.

(43:48):
I'm really content not working and being lazy, but it
turns out I need the minimum wage to survive.

Speaker 4 (43:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
My family is well off and I grew up in
the country club scene, so now I feel retired and content,
which really seems to pay off people my age as
well as my family. Do you have any advice for
what I should do vocationally or do any of your
fun friends need a lazy assistant? I enjoy dogs, vaping,
going to lunch, and taking xanax. Cheers to you, Diego.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
First of all, Diego, we have a ton in common.
We have a ton in common, except.

Speaker 6 (44:18):
I fucking hustle my ass off so that I could
do those things.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
I don't sit.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Around on my lazy ass and just wait for xanax
and vape pens and whatever.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
And people have evict me to pop in and out
of my life. I mean, you really are a lazy fuck.
How old are you?

Speaker 5 (44:35):
Oh? I'm thirty four, and yes, I admit I'm a
lazy fuck.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
Lazies this is Kathy, by the way, A second.

Speaker 5 (44:43):
Question for you, Kai, Kathy.

Speaker 4 (44:45):
My question is very simply, will you marry me?

Speaker 5 (44:48):
Because here's my time to marry you. I will go
down on you. I'll do whatever you need.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
Well, thank you.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Lazy going down on someone is actually not lazy, it's
at active.

Speaker 1 (44:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (45:00):
No, I mean I'm not lazy in the bedroom. I'm
lazy Okay, the rest of your life.

Speaker 2 (45:05):
So if you chose not to work for the rest
of your life, would that be a possibility with your
family's money.

Speaker 5 (45:11):
God? No, So now I'm totally fucked because I know
both of you are Trump supporters. Look like it, I
don't know, but he's garnishing our wages for student loans.
And I owe about two hundred grand. So I can't
call mommy and Daddy and say, hey, I need two
hundred K. Can you wire it over? So I have

(45:34):
to get my shit together. I have to pull it
together and get a job quickly. And that's why I'm
reaching out.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
Now, why did you keep dropping out of law school?
And can you go back and become a lawyer?

Speaker 5 (45:46):
So I think I would rather die than be a lawyer. Okay,
five law schools. I did hustle in law school, but
it was just awful. It was just not for me.
And I learned, know, I learned a lot, And now
I'm sort of content. I'm really content and happy I was.
I was miserable in law school and now i'm happy.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
Well, of course you're content and happy. You're not doing
any vaping all day you're vaping and taking I know exactly,
and I think.

Speaker 4 (46:15):
Might be on one. You're just gonna.

Speaker 5 (46:18):
Say, I'm actually not, but I have one love of
a rethal.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
Soon I'll bet you know exactly when that refill is do.

Speaker 1 (46:27):
I know what my refills do.

Speaker 5 (46:28):
Refs do in a day. But I'm reaching out for advice.
That's why I'm here.

Speaker 6 (46:34):
Well, I mean it's that's a long like a long
reel to what is the word?

Speaker 1 (46:40):
My word retrieval is off. I'm actually I had some
foot surgery.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
You can see my little foot thing here, So I'm
not as sharp as I normally am because I couldn't
take all my supplements and all my you know, brain
brain juice.

Speaker 4 (46:51):
And all my ship.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
I had enough all my supplements, so my word retrieval
the last couple of weeks, I'm pretty disappointed in my
level of mental acuity.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
But anyway, we're here and we're going to talk about it.

Speaker 4 (47:03):
Well, can you follow your bliss? What makes you happy
in life?

Speaker 5 (47:07):
So the retirement thing, I like sitting around. I don't
like to do shit, that's the problem. But I don't
have motivation.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
Yeah, we can tell that, But like you want us
to give you a prescription to do something with your life,
and you're giving us nothing to work with. You're telling
us that you want to be retired, but you also
need to find a job.

Speaker 5 (47:27):
Okay, I did entertain it, like assistant work during college,
so that's my that's my background.

Speaker 1 (47:34):
But nobody wants a lazy assistant all.

Speaker 4 (47:36):
And nobody wants awful.

Speaker 6 (47:38):
It's like the worst person to be lazy for is
a celebrity because.

Speaker 5 (47:42):
They're so high and they used to say that, like,
who's that dick that just answered the phone?

Speaker 1 (47:47):
That's not your day?

Speaker 4 (47:48):
Oh boy, oh boy.

Speaker 2 (47:49):
I think you need to get through some soul searching
first of all, before you make any move, because you're
clearly not going to make one anyway.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
You need to like maybe.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Lay off the xanax and lay off the vaping kind
of tight trait off of it. I know that doesn't
sound like fun to you. I can see by the
disgust on your face at me even recommending that.

Speaker 4 (48:07):
Tight trade was a good word. So your retrieval is good.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
It's getting there. Okay, good. I just have to practice,
I know. But you have to get like.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
Your shit together, like this is not something that we
can help you with. You're in a deficit and you
need to get out pull yourself out of this. You're
in a malaise, like you're not really functioning on a
real level that you have the capability of functioning on.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Like I would almost say, you have to go back
to law school.

Speaker 2 (48:30):
You owe it to yourself to be a productive member
of society.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
But clearly you can't do that.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
So why can't you go get a job in the
interim at fucking Starbucks and get yourself in the That's
what I do.

Speaker 5 (48:40):
I hop around with the people there. They don't like me,
and I get annoyed extremely easily. I get I have
very bad, irritable issues with people. So I have to
work autonomously. I need an autonomous job where I can
be by mich You don't.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
Have the motivation to be a self starter, that's the thing.
You gotta have the motivation to get your ass up
every day and do it.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
I've never even heard anything like this.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
You sound like one of my nephews who wants like
a get rich quick scheme but isn't willing to put
in any of the work.

Speaker 5 (49:12):
Well, I did hustle for so many years in school,
and it's just but.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
Then you didn't graduate, So like what no.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
Yeah, so that doesn't matter because you didn't get anything.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
From that hustle.

Speaker 2 (49:23):
So you now are left with nothing and you need
money and you need a job. So you kind of
have to do You kind of have to take your
attitude of wanting to be autonomous and throw it out
the fucking window and actually put a whole new personality
on your you get along with others.

Speaker 5 (49:38):
Yeah, you have to like wha, Well, I try, I
do try hard, but they can see through it. You know,
they can see you know, I'm not meant to be.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
This isn't a real phone call. This is not a
real phone call.

Speaker 3 (49:52):
I do have a suggestion for like an avenue for
you to explore after.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
You do some soul searching.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
I have found that people I know who are successful
in business, there are some people I know who are
very successful who are the most lazy people I know.
And it's because they figure out workarounds to not have
to work that hard. Not saying all business people are lazy,
but there are a few I know who are like
very successful, And I feel like you have personality.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
You don't want to do a lot of prep work
before you go back into a job.

Speaker 3 (50:22):
Find something in sales. Find something in sales. Find the
most expensive thing that you can sell, whether that's cars,
whether that's houses, whatever, and like go explore that and
get yourself an assistant to actually do all the work.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
You know, who's what would be good for sales. Air
conditioning in Europe. They're gonna need it too, because it's
fucking hard over.

Speaker 5 (50:40):
There out of the country anyway, great.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Dual citizenship, you need to go to Europe and start
selling air conditioning units?

Speaker 5 (50:52):
Is that like legitimate? Are you?

Speaker 3 (50:54):
Well?

Speaker 4 (50:54):
They really need it?

Speaker 1 (50:55):
I mean, think about it, conditioning.

Speaker 2 (50:58):
I just came from Europe for two months now, except
for hotels, and they have so all they're going to
be doing. And because to actually install air conditioning into
a house is a major like undertaking.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
It takes like it's like hundreds of thousand of dollars.

Speaker 2 (51:11):
So in the interim, people are going to be buying
these little units and having those units installed into their windows.
So you could either sell those or you could choose
to install those. And I don't know how you're going
to get your European visa because you're too lazy to
wait online at the embassy.

Speaker 4 (51:24):
And there is a line.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah, yeah, but food.

Speaker 7 (51:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (51:29):
I mean, look, I'm open to it all. I'm open
to it all, and I do like the sales idea.
I mean, I don't know if I have the personality
for it.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
Well, you do have a kind of funny personality, so
like maybe you should augment that. Like, you do have
some good qualities in your personality. So I think you
have to stop talking about how lazy you are. Like,
that's not going to bring I know. I know, for
for the purpose of this phone call, it's very helpful,
but for the purpose of you living your life, it's
going to have a deleterious impact on everything you do.

(51:59):
Nobody wants to be around people that are lazy. People
want to be you know, we live in an ambitious society.
People want money, they want success. You are sitting here
telling us you want money. You don't really care about
the success, You just want the money.

Speaker 5 (52:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (52:14):
Yeah, he loves retiring. He wants to retire.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
What about working at a retirement community.

Speaker 5 (52:19):
Yeah, you know what, I have thought of that, and
I think you might be right.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
Yep.

Speaker 5 (52:23):
And I hang out with the old people all day.
I make minimum wage, which is fine.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
And then move slowly transition into moving into the retirement community.

Speaker 4 (52:31):
Change A couple diapers won't kill you.

Speaker 5 (52:33):
Do I have to wipe bass? I mean I don't
know if you have to.

Speaker 2 (52:36):
Yeah, white ass, think in the beginning you're going to
have to wipe aass. But but but the other thing is,
listen to this.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
This is a great idea.

Speaker 2 (52:42):
Actually, you start working at a retirement community and then
slowly you enter that retirement community because you want to
be retired. That's the lifestyle you want, right, you want
to like play? Do you play video games? What do
you do with your downtime?

Speaker 5 (52:54):
I play video games?

Speaker 1 (52:55):
Okay?

Speaker 5 (52:55):
Absolutely right?

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Do you golf?

Speaker 5 (52:57):
No?

Speaker 1 (52:57):
That's too much energy?

Speaker 5 (52:59):
A little bit.

Speaker 4 (52:59):
Yeah, he said he's a country club guy.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
But he's probably online at a country club.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (53:04):
He's is he physically actually going to golf?

Speaker 5 (53:07):
Oh? I grew up on the course.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
So okay, well excuse me, okay, well okay. These are
your two options. You are either going to start working
at a retirement community or moving to Europe and selling
air conditioning units.

Speaker 4 (53:21):
I like the latter, it's very specific.

Speaker 5 (53:23):
I think you've just nailed it. I think I need
to work at a retirement home.

Speaker 4 (53:27):
There you go, there go.

Speaker 5 (53:29):
I mean, I'm not even joking.

Speaker 1 (53:30):
You can be the entertainment activity.

Speaker 4 (53:32):
I don't believe your conditioning idea is you every detail.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
But except for the visa that we don't have the user.

Speaker 4 (53:40):
Gesturing the size of the unit, everything. And she said
you could install them for more money.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
You could sell them, or you could install them.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
I would believe selling them would yield a better profit
margin than installing them, don't you.

Speaker 4 (53:54):
You should find out.

Speaker 2 (53:55):
It's like blue collar to white collar. So but you
should definitely find out. You could even talk about it.
I mean, you could even do the air conditioning idea
here because there are plenty of regions of this country
that probably need air conditioning too.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
And therese retirement homes that probably have faultier conditions.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
This is even better.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
You can install air conditioning units in the retirement home
when when.

Speaker 5 (54:17):
There you go. You just got it. But if that
doesn't work, If it doesn't work, I'm marrying Kathy.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
Yep, And it always works.

Speaker 1 (54:25):
Kathy will marry you.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
She's proven herself to marry one idiot after another, so.

Speaker 4 (54:30):
She is okay, I married.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Yeah, as long as you're willing to take her money.
When you guys, when she divorces you, I promise, promise.

Speaker 5 (54:38):
I don't care about the money. I just want a
peaceful life.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
He sounds like you also want the money.

Speaker 5 (54:44):
Well, I need I need to pay back that loan,
that student loan.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
That you didn't get it to Plomba.

Speaker 4 (54:49):
I would probably do that during the ceremony, Like that's
how bad I am.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
I would get these.

Speaker 4 (54:55):
I would just pay off the two in ok.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
Okay, right, so there's three options and here now, yeah, okay,
so we are three.

Speaker 4 (55:02):
Just really up her game.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
I just want to actually yes, And that's kind of
amalgamating all three.

Speaker 1 (55:07):
Well, it's not.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
It's a new idea because him marrying you, then he
doesn't have to move into the retirement community and he
doesn't have to do the air conditioning.

Speaker 4 (55:14):
Okay, I'm happy to move into a retirement community, like
and I'll have a ball or one like I'll redo it.
I'll have seventeen air conditioning units. All the ideas can
be one.

Speaker 5 (55:25):
Are you fifty five yet? I don't know if you're
up there or.

Speaker 4 (55:28):
No, I'm sixty four and a half.

Speaker 5 (55:30):
Oh well, fuck o, there you go, let's move in together.

Speaker 4 (55:33):
My fuck is right.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
She doesn't need that yet, do you feel chemistry with him?
Be honest?

Speaker 4 (55:39):
I okay, technically, to be honest, I don't feel chemistry,
but he does fit my pattern.

Speaker 5 (55:47):
Once you get to the point where you need someone
to wipe your butt, I can be that.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
You just said ten minutes ago that you don't want
to wipe anyone's ass.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
You're a flipsydoodle.

Speaker 4 (55:56):
He's growing.

Speaker 5 (55:56):
Well, if I'm marrying her, then it's part of what
happens in life. She is my wife.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
Yeah as a newlywed.

Speaker 4 (56:04):
Yeah, are you going to be faithful to me?

Speaker 5 (56:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (56:07):
Yeah, he's too lazy to cheat on you. I mean, honestly,
it takes time.

Speaker 4 (56:12):
It takes time. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (56:15):
Well, I guess we've sorted your life out for you, right,
I mean it feels like.

Speaker 5 (56:19):
I genuinely think you did. I'm going to start applying
and I'm not joking.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
Okay, Great, that was a solid call, in solid rounded
advice that we gave.

Speaker 4 (56:28):
I like how you're mimicking a fake tie, like almost
like you're manifesting yourself in a suit.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
The interview, Ye, what are you going to do when
we hang up this phone call?

Speaker 5 (56:39):
I'm gonna play video games?

Speaker 4 (56:41):
And what time will you take the xenax.

Speaker 5 (56:43):
I'm trying to ration because I only have one love. Okay,
maybe you can help me out.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Yeah, save that one. I got a whole bunch when
I went to Europe because I was traveling. So I'm
set for the next six months because I just like
have a full supply. That has nothing to do with you,
because I'm definitely not sharing my xanax with you because
you need more or I need you to show some gusto,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
Does it feels like he already took some?

Speaker 2 (57:08):
I mean I mean he's got a little stash. Yeah,
are you taking propofole?

Speaker 5 (57:13):
And I'm not, but I would be down to open.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
He's a what do you say, flipsy doodle?

Speaker 1 (57:19):
He's a whoopsie doodle.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
Okay, he's a flipp it and reverse at whoopsie doodle
flipsy doodle. Okay, all right, Well this was very entertaining
and mind blowing.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Thanks great talking to you. See at the wedding, bye
bye bye. Wow.

Speaker 4 (57:37):
Okay, that was a lot. Wow. And I thought it
wasn't a preak. It could have known.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
I don't think it was. Now I think he was.

Speaker 4 (57:45):
He had a lot of detail.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
He I think he's so far removed from reality that
he wasn't even put.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
Together a serious phone call. Okay, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (57:56):
He covered many bases, many bases, Okay, although I will.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
Say he I've been while not covering any at.

Speaker 4 (58:01):
All, No, and being lazy and really doubling down on
the like you guys don't are not hearing me. I
don't like people. I'm irritable, I have a fake tie,
and I am lazy.

Speaker 1 (58:14):
He told himself a little short. He was helping his
grandma move. That would have been helpful, and I mean
anything like that.

Speaker 2 (58:21):
He needs to move in with his grandmother into that
retirement community.

Speaker 1 (58:24):
Yeah, do you have time for one more call? Yes,
we're at We're at an hour, but let's I'd love
to do one more.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
Okay, this one is a little more sedate. I know
you have said that you've made a lot of new
friends recently, and where Chelsea's always making friends. I thought
this could be a good question. So we've got Dina
calling in. She's sixty three. Dear Chelsea, I'm writing in
because your books and comedic storytelling put me in mind
of a true sage well versed in books and letters
across with Joan Rivers, hope you can help me. I'm

(58:55):
a sixty three year old married woman who over the
last five years lost all my close female friends either
to moving away or like my two sisters in law,
to death. Life without these anchors feels turbulent and lonely.
For the past year, I've been actively trying to make
new friends, doing things that interest me, and hoping to connect.
I'm discouraged that it takes a long time to move
past the small talk. According to Mel Robbins, it takes

(59:17):
two hundred hours to make a close friend, and anecdotally
that tracks I'm daunted, Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
What would you do?

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Dina?

Speaker 1 (59:24):
Hi, Dina, Hi, Dina. This is Kathy. Say hi to Kathy.

Speaker 4 (59:28):
A frown Kathy.

Speaker 7 (59:29):
Oh my god, Kathy Griffin, I love you.

Speaker 4 (59:33):
We're friends now, that's your newest friend.

Speaker 7 (59:35):
Yep, very much.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
I think you have to listen. There is no prescription
to making friends. I think you have to remain open hearted,
open minded. And also the pattern of people that have
been in our lives doesn't necessarily resemble the pattern of
people that are going to be in our lives. So
like you should always look at you know, like what
types of people haven't you been friends with?

Speaker 1 (59:55):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (59:56):
Think about like opening your spirit more and opening your
kind of the way that you look at friendships in
a different way because you're at a different stage in
your life and you really never know who is going
to come into your life. But I don't believe your
friendship making years are over. And I'm sorry that both
of your sisters in law have passed away, But that's okay.

(01:00:16):
You're still here and you're still vibrant, and you're still alive,
and you have an ability to have fun and have
things that are in common and whatever your hobbies are,
I would just double down on those things that are
going to allow you to meet people that are more
that are like minded, but also be open to people.
Like if you're in a coffee shop or if you're
out of wine tasting or whatever it is, like, what
do you do for.

Speaker 1 (01:00:37):
A good time? What do you do when you want to.

Speaker 7 (01:00:38):
Go out all of those things wine tasting, book club?

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
I think go up to people that you normally wouldn't
go up to. Also, in those situations, go up to men.
It doesn't have to be romantic, Like at your age,
you can have a regular relationship with a man that
doesn't have to be sexual. You should think outside of
the box of what you typically expect your friendships to
look like and think like, oh, this would be a
nice time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
To have in a relationship like this. And who knows
what's going to happen in any of those situations.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
But it sounds like you have all of the things
set up for meeting more friends.

Speaker 7 (01:01:10):
I think the structure is there, and that's why I
wrote to you because I was starting to feel a
little daunted and sometimes I feel like I'm dating I'm
dating women.

Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
Have you considered trying to win beaver Hunt? Have you
to do what trying to win beaver Hunt?

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
This is a contest or a competition magazine, Hustler magazine
that Cappy interested.

Speaker 4 (01:01:35):
And a beaver anyway, sorry, it was a bucket list.
Now I'm a big reacher outer, so I will cold
call people, i will guilt them. I've done stuff like
and this is gonna maybe not this most sound advice,
but I've actually met people on TikTok or the old

(01:01:55):
Twitter prior to Elon, I would DM somebody and then
end up meeting them in real life. After you know
you vet them and correspond with them and FaceTime with them,
and you're not being catfished. But how are you a
reaching out?

Speaker 7 (01:02:09):
So so I'm a little on the shy side, I'll
admit it. I'm not out.

Speaker 4 (01:02:13):
Yeah, like Chelsea is.

Speaker 1 (01:02:14):
Are you on social media and stuff?

Speaker 7 (01:02:17):
Very active on LinkedIn?

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Okay, Well that's a great place to also meet people
and reach out. You don't have to be super aggressive.
You can just say hi, I love your profile or
whatever people say on LinkedIn. I don't know what LinkedIn
really is. Is that for business, like for resumes and stuff.

Speaker 7 (01:02:30):
For business to business?

Speaker 5 (01:02:32):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
So, but that's also a great way to just be
casual with something and be like, oh, hi, I liked
your profile. What do you do in this area or
do you live you know people that live in your
area also, But just broaden the horizons a little bit
more than they are and I think that that will
yield a bigger, you know, kind of field of options.

Speaker 7 (01:02:51):
I like that idea. One of the things I've found
is I'm sixty three and people my age aren't like me.
So I do think I need to broad my horizons
because I'm not a mom, I'm not a grandmom and
I'm not right.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
Yeah, exactly, so you need to find exactly Kathy sixty
four say the same thing.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
So I think.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
And also you can be friends with people that are younger,
you know what I mean, like approach people that are
younger that kind of have that sensibility.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
And I think that's a good point. You're not a mom,
you're not you know, you're not all. You're not a grandmother,
you're not all of these things. So but but don't
lose hope.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Be positive and be optimistic because there's a magnetism just
by being those things that brings things into your life.
So like, don't forget about that. It's positive like positive
and happy energy and actually.

Speaker 1 (01:03:35):
Being present with people yields good things. It brings good things.

Speaker 4 (01:03:39):
I would actually consider hopping on like blue Sky or
Threads or even TikTok or Instagram, because sometimes you get
to see someone's life so much that if you're comfortable
dming them, sometimes it can actually get you a friend
that doesn't take two hundred hours.

Speaker 7 (01:03:55):
Yeah, what is the beaver thing you mentioned?

Speaker 2 (01:03:59):
Oh beaver, you wanted to show her beaver and win
a contest because it's red.

Speaker 4 (01:04:02):
It's in hustler magazine, and it's a monthly competition, and
I have what I think.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
A monthly competition is her goal.

Speaker 4 (01:04:10):
And I believe I'm a real competitor.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
I believe.

Speaker 7 (01:04:12):
So I'm sure yours is beautiful. And I wish you
the best of luck.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:04:16):
Okay, so thank you. She's not going to join, she's
not going.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
To behalf of Kathy. I thank you for that compliment.

Speaker 4 (01:04:22):
I thank you as well.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
Okay, you have your marching orders. You're going to be fine.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
You've already made three new friends today, so we're your friends.
Be positive, put yourself out there. If somebody's not interested
in a friendship with you, don't take it personally.

Speaker 1 (01:04:35):
Nothing's personal.

Speaker 4 (01:04:36):
And if you can go to a place or an
event where you are going to be surrounded by people
that you wouldn't normally meet, for example, like if you're
even if you're not a foodie, go to like a
big food festival and you'll just sort of be around
people that maybe you wouldn't cross paths with.

Speaker 7 (01:04:55):
That's a great idea. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:59):
That's a it's a great idea, Kathy. That is a
great idea.

Speaker 7 (01:05:04):
It's a great job with this advice show, Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Oh, well, I just want we just want to help people.
We want to I want people to be happy. I
want people to be happy and live their best lives. Right, yeah, I.

Speaker 7 (01:05:15):
Feel thank you very much, that's why I called in.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
Okay, give you a bob your thanks so much, Dina,
Bye bye, Dina.

Speaker 4 (01:05:24):
Oh she's gonna make friends.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Oh yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
She's so nice. And I liked what you said.

Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
About going back to the wall of people you already
know and like you know, dming people or you know,
texting people. Sometimes people come back into our lives. I
thought maybe that friendship has run its course, but people
stircle back around.

Speaker 5 (01:05:40):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
Yeah, okay, Well that wraps up another episode of Dear
Chelsea Everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
Kathy, you are an incredible.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
Guest as usual. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad to
see you in person. I never see you so I
love you.

Speaker 4 (01:05:52):
I love you too, and I love you to be here.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
And what about your YouTube special? Where can people watch?

Speaker 4 (01:05:58):
My new special is called My Life on the PTSD List.
I'm in editing now and it'll be on YouTube. And
I have a weekly YouTube show called Kathy Griffin Talk
your head off.

Speaker 1 (01:06:08):
Okay, great, love it.

Speaker 4 (01:06:09):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates
for this year.

Speaker 6 (01:06:16):
Summertime is coming and I will be in Vegas at
the Cosmo doing my residency on August thirtieth, and then
November one and twenty ninth.

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
November first and November twenty.

Speaker 6 (01:06:31):
Ninth, I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo
performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,
thank you. Do you want advice from Chelsea?

Speaker 3 (01:06:44):
Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea Pod.

Speaker 4 (01:06:52):
Dear Chelsea is edited

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law And
be sure to check out our merch at Chelsea mur
dot com