April 4, 2025 • 14 mins
Chelsea calls a wedding off and an update comes in from a favorite throuple.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job, where we
do couples counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to my office.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Hello, Hello, Hi Chelsea. I've got an update from one
of our callers.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Let's hear it all.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Right, Well, this is from Libby. She had written in
a couple of months ago. It was actually from our
Hannah Einbidender episode and she was in a threttle and
the guy had been in the bathroom. No, no, that
I would love to hear an update from her. We
will get an update from her soon. But this gal
was in a throat ble and it was like a
husband and wife that she had come into their relationship.
(00:40):
They had some kids, they all lived together, and the
husband was acting like really sketchy and like crabby and
like didn't want to have sex anymore with either of them.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So Libby says, wait, wait, wait wait. They were in
a threuttle. Yes, and Libby was like, the what do
they call it?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
The unicorn? Yeah, okay, coming into the relationship. Yeah, and
he had basically said, why don't have sex with you
or anybody else?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So yeah, even his wife, even his wife.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yeah, Hi Catherine. After our last conversation, I took Chelsea's
advice and tried to be a voice of reason between
my two partners, my girlfriend and our roommate of a boyfriend,
and tried to discuss how we could move forward as
a threatle Per usual, he did not have anything to say.
He was content with living the way things were, and
that seemed to be about it. Between Chelsea's advice and
my intuition, I knew there was more. I spent a
(01:26):
few days being observant. In my initial email, I had
mentioned that he'd been sleeping on the couch and had
begun sleeping with his phone underneath his pillow one night,
after admittedly drinking a bit the liquid courage ended up
being much needed lol. I saw that he quote forgot
to hide his phone. I normally don't condone going through
your partner's phone, but given the situation, I felt as
(01:47):
though I should hurt my own feelings and see what
he's been up to. Turns out he had spent the
last two months cheating on the two of us with
a freshly nineteen year old server who worked at the
restaurant he was managing.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
At the time.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, the arguments he created in order to take off
and leave the late nights when he was caught up
at work quote unquote were really just excuses to meet
up and spend time with his work girlfriend. I called
my girlfriend, who was at work at the time, and
showed her the things I had discovered. She sped home immediately,
and we threw his stuff into his car and kicked
him out right there in the middle of the night.
Looking back on things, all the signs and red flags
(02:23):
were extremely obvious, and I hate that we spent so
much time begging an unworthy person to stay with us.
For my girlfriend, it was hard to say goodbye to
a ten year relationship, and that loss is still being mourned.
But our life has gotten a million times better. The
energy in our household has shifted, and things all feel
lighter and happier. As for him, he's continued a downward spiral.
(02:45):
He was demoted from his salary management position for making
inappropriate remarks toward a sixteen year old girl who worked
at his job and is back to being a line cook.
I love that he wasn't fired, he was just demoted.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Like great job.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
He lives with his brother and generally has a miserable life.
Karma really did her thing. Thank you for taking the
time to listen to my situation and for the much
needed advice. I feel as though that was the last
bit of validation slash confirmation I needed to face the
facts and work toward a final solution, which I guess
was as simple as looking through his phone. As her
full as it was, it made my girlfriend a nice
(03:17):
stronger as individuals and as a couple, and it also
opened the door for some pretty great hookups every once
in a while with men who actually appreciate our presence.
Much love, Libby, But.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I thought she said she got rid of the girlfriend too.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
No, no, no, so she and the girlfriend stayed together, good.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Great, perfect, and got rid of the guy and he's
the father of her children.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeahy uh huh, Well that's too bad. But yeah, oh awesome,
awesome if I.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Remember quickly not married, so like easy piece of taut
exactly it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Thrupple up, have a great time. Yeah, all these other
men that are going to be much more worthwhile.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
All right, So Chrissy is calling in and she had
called in with her best friend name on an episode
from August of last year called we might all be
dead by then if anyone wants to check it out,
She says, we spoke with you and Chelsea a few
months ago regarding my best friend's horrible boyfriend, and there
has been a development since then. He is now her
horrible fiance. This news was delivered to me by means
(04:11):
of a text saying, I hope you're on board for
a destination wedding. Normally I would be on board for
a destination anything, but what do I do here. I've
made it very clear that I don't think the boyfriend
fiance is a good person. I hate my friend's willingness
to take him back after he continues to disrespect her.
It's honestly been a little while since we spoke. In
addition to picking horrible men to Mary, she also voted
(04:32):
for the horrible man in the White House. As each
new policy is unveiled, I feel like she personally pushed
the button to initiate these changes. I just don't know
how I could attend her wedding and pretend it's a
joyous event, knowing their history, being surrounded by her Trump
loving friends. I hate to throw away our friendship, but
I'm not sure I can look past these decisions, or
if I even should. I know I'm far from the
(04:52):
only one with a relationship affected by politics, but I
guess I'm wondering if I'll regret letting a decade of
friendship go because of my friend's horrible taste in men. Hi, Chrissy, Hi,
how are you? Hi?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Chray Nice to see you again.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You too.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
We just got caught up on what's going on with
your friend.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Have they set a date yet?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
As far as I know, they have not. We have
been a little more distant lately and we haven't talked
too too often, but I don't think that there is
a set date currently.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
How did she tell you they got married or they
got engaged?
Speaker 4 (05:26):
She well, he had a ring for years that he
was holding over her head and not giving to her. Yes,
I recall, and when he gave her the ring, she
was very excited to show it to me. She acted
like it was the dream proposal, and it was just
kind of everything else was pushed under the rug, everything
(05:47):
leading up to that point.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Well, the good news is there most likely won't be
a wedding anyway, since you know his pattern of events
is like he's I'd be one of the chances that
he's been lording this over her head, lording it over
and then he's going to go through with a wedding
and they don't have a date. So yeah, but the
bigger question is okay, So there's that issue, and then
there's all the political stuff. I'm not opposed to if
(06:10):
you are up for it, to releasing this friendship, Like,
it's very hard to see somebody.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Go down that road with a partner.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Additionally, the political aspect of things is like a double whammy.
And you know, like, what are the foundations of your friendship,
what are the things that hold you guys together?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Are those still active? Is that the past?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Like sometimes we hold on too friendships because of the
history of the friendship, but it's not really serving you anymore,
and in fact, it's kind of disservicing you.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Right, Yeah, I can definitely see that. I think because
we have such a long history where we were both
single moms, we kind of played a role in helping
to raise each other's children. I think it was harder
to let it go because she almost felt like family
to me. But I also know that there are times
that you have to let family go.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Too, Yeah, yeah, And like, do you feel that you
get anything out of this relationship in its current status?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
So do I miss having that friend that I shared
everything with? She was my person that you know, we
there were no boundaries, We talked about everything, and I
don't have that person in my life currently. So I
think I miss having a best friend more than I
(07:30):
miss her specifically, right.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I think that's your answer, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
And I think you should make room for a new
best friend because I think it's nice to have those memories,
and she served her purpose for a period of time
in your life, and now through everything that you've seen,
it's like it's not adding to your life. I would
argue that it's taking from you because of both subject matters,
and it doesn't have to be confrontational. It could just
(07:57):
be like, listen, I think we've really grown a part.
It's really hard for me to watch you go and
marry this man. I understand that you're going to. I
understand you love him, and I want to respect that.
And the best way for me to respect that is to.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Not be there. I don't want to be there.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I don't you know, like if you feel compelled, like
does it require a conversation or can you just fade away?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
I had sort of tried to fade away, and then
I felt like she kind of kept putting the effort
out there, sending a text, calling, and then I finally
kind of had the conversation with her, saying, I'm sorry
that I have been distant lately, but with the way
that everything in the country is going, I didn't know
(08:39):
that I could have a civil conversation with you without
us And we tried. We tried to, you know, kind
of text through that, and she kind of tried to
make some of her points, and I just got enraged.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
A little bit.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
And I think we are just in such different places
that we're not gonna see eyed eye on a lot
of things right now.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Right I think it would probably be helpful for you
to just take a long break from the relationship, you know,
and circle back around if and when that time feels right, Like,
you don't have any obligation to continue a friendship where
you're so at odds with each other on multiple fronts,
like it's not just one thing, it's multiple things.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Now, And I also think you're right, like you also
aren't obligated to like put a period on the end
of the sentence, so to speak, like it is okay,
things do fizzle, and like maybe there's some time in
the future that she comes back into your life, but
like I think it's okay to just let it lie.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, let it lie, And if she needs to reason
explain it, you can always be honest with her and
just say I'm sorry, Like I want you to do
whatever you want to do, but that I just it's
painful for me to watch this, Like it's painful for
me to see this. It's painful for me to accept
your political views.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I accept them, I believe them.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
But what I need to do is kind of remove
myself from this situation right now because things are too ugly.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
And too scary.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
And also, why would you want to go to a
wedding with a person when she's getting married to with
a person like that, and I guarantee you this wedding
will not happen.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Yeah, yeah, you're probably right.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah. I actually keep having dreams that the wedding is
like the next day and I'm like just finding out
about it, and I'm really struggling with myself for not
having been there for her and not having helped her
get ready, and I think that kind of made me question.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yes, but listen, you know, friendships are there sometimes for
like five years. Sometimes they're there for a year, Sometimes
they're there for twenty years, and sometimes like sometimes somebody
is in your life for a period of time for
a reason. And then sometimes it's actually it's a reflection
of like your own belief system, Like when someone shows you, Okay,
this is who I am now, like you have a choice,
(10:57):
You have no obligation to continue this friendship.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Both raised each other's children together.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
That was beautiful, Like that's the best memory you're gonna have, probably,
so hold on to that, and you know, and the
make room for some other people to come into your
life that you are like minded with, that you whose
partners you do respect, whose relationships you admire, Like surround
yourself with the people that you that you admire, you know,
that relationships you would want to mirror for your own
(11:23):
personal life and relation and people that you can relate to.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
So do not wrap yourself up at guilt, wrap yourself
up in like standards. This is beneath the standard that
I would accept for myself. Therefore, it's beneath the standard
that I would accept for you, and I'm just gonna
have to bow out for a while out of love
and respect for myself.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Yeah, oh that's great advice, thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah, And you know, you can grieve that relationship or
you can, but don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You've been an.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Incredible friend and there's no reason that you now have
to be like held hostage to this friendship that you're
no longer like, you know, aligned with just her marrying
this guy or accepting his you know, she was just
not paying attention to anything, even strangers who have no
investment in her relationship at.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
All either telling her that it's bullshit.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
She's not seeing that, So you know, if she doesn't
hear or see that, then there's nothing you're going to
be able to do to point that out to her.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Right, Chrissy, will you follow up with us in a
few months and let us know if anything moved forward
with the wedding or But I think, yeah, you can
let yourself off the hook, like hopefully that'll stop you
from having these panic dreams of like you know now
what you're gonna do when and if that happens, which
is you know, politely decline.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah, no, I will definitely follow up.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Okay, okay, awesome, Thanks for calling, Brassie.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Thank you. Have a good day, guys.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Do do do do do do drum roll Catherine, please,
Chelsea Handler abroad. Abroad is my European So I'm coming
to obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get
the health out of this fucking country. And it's not
as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Rekuvic.
(13:12):
I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm
coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm
coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna.
I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, and Lisbon.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I'm coming abroad is abroad that sounds like fun. I'm
going to go see you abroad.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I know I want to go see me abroad and
there all be, there all be upcoming Vegas States, April eighteenth,
July fifth, August thirtieth, November one and twenty ninth at
the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com
Welcome to Couples Counseling with Chelsea hand Job, where we
do couples counseling on all sorts of variations of friends, lovers, families.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Welcome to my office.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Hello, Hello, Hi Chelsea. I've got an update from one
of our callers.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Let's hear it all.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Right, Well, this is from Libby. She had written in
a couple of months ago. It was actually from our
Hannah Einbidender episode and she was in a threttle and
the guy had been in the bathroom. No, no, that
I would love to hear an update from her. We
will get an update from her soon. But this gal
was in a throat ble and it was like a
husband and wife that she had come into their relationship.
(00:40):
They had some kids, they all lived together, and the
husband was acting like really sketchy and like crabby and
like didn't want to have sex anymore with either of them.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
So Libby says, wait, wait, wait wait. They were in
a threuttle. Yes, and Libby was like, the what do
they call it?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
The unicorn? Yeah, okay, coming into the relationship. Yeah, and
he had basically said, why don't have sex with you
or anybody else?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So yeah, even his wife, even his wife.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yeah, Hi Catherine. After our last conversation, I took Chelsea's
advice and tried to be a voice of reason between
my two partners, my girlfriend and our roommate of a boyfriend,
and tried to discuss how we could move forward as
a threatle Per usual, he did not have anything to say.
He was content with living the way things were, and
that seemed to be about it. Between Chelsea's advice and
my intuition, I knew there was more. I spent a
(01:26):
few days being observant. In my initial email, I had
mentioned that he'd been sleeping on the couch and had
begun sleeping with his phone underneath his pillow one night,
after admittedly drinking a bit the liquid courage ended up
being much needed lol. I saw that he quote forgot
to hide his phone. I normally don't condone going through
your partner's phone, but given the situation, I felt as
(01:47):
though I should hurt my own feelings and see what
he's been up to. Turns out he had spent the
last two months cheating on the two of us with
a freshly nineteen year old server who worked at the
restaurant he was managing.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
At the time.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Yeah, the arguments he created in order to take off
and leave the late nights when he was caught up
at work quote unquote were really just excuses to meet
up and spend time with his work girlfriend. I called
my girlfriend, who was at work at the time, and
showed her the things I had discovered. She sped home immediately,
and we threw his stuff into his car and kicked
him out right there in the middle of the night.
Looking back on things, all the signs and red flags
(02:23):
were extremely obvious, and I hate that we spent so
much time begging an unworthy person to stay with us.
For my girlfriend, it was hard to say goodbye to
a ten year relationship, and that loss is still being mourned.
But our life has gotten a million times better. The
energy in our household has shifted, and things all feel
lighter and happier. As for him, he's continued a downward spiral.
(02:45):
He was demoted from his salary management position for making
inappropriate remarks toward a sixteen year old girl who worked
at his job and is back to being a line cook.
I love that he wasn't fired, he was just demoted.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Like great job.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
He lives with his brother and generally has a miserable life.
Karma really did her thing. Thank you for taking the
time to listen to my situation and for the much
needed advice. I feel as though that was the last
bit of validation slash confirmation I needed to face the
facts and work toward a final solution, which I guess
was as simple as looking through his phone. As her
full as it was, it made my girlfriend a nice
(03:17):
stronger as individuals and as a couple, and it also
opened the door for some pretty great hookups every once
in a while with men who actually appreciate our presence.
Much love, Libby, But.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
I thought she said she got rid of the girlfriend too.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
No, no, no, so she and the girlfriend stayed together, good.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Great, perfect, and got rid of the guy and he's
the father of her children.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeahy uh huh, Well that's too bad. But yeah, oh awesome,
awesome if I.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Remember quickly not married, so like easy piece of taut
exactly it.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Thrupple up, have a great time. Yeah, all these other
men that are going to be much more worthwhile.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
All right, So Chrissy is calling in and she had
called in with her best friend name on an episode
from August of last year called we might all be
dead by then if anyone wants to check it out,
She says, we spoke with you and Chelsea a few
months ago regarding my best friend's horrible boyfriend, and there
has been a development since then. He is now her
horrible fiance. This news was delivered to me by means
(04:11):
of a text saying, I hope you're on board for
a destination wedding. Normally I would be on board for
a destination anything, but what do I do here. I've
made it very clear that I don't think the boyfriend
fiance is a good person. I hate my friend's willingness
to take him back after he continues to disrespect her.
It's honestly been a little while since we spoke. In
addition to picking horrible men to Mary, she also voted
(04:32):
for the horrible man in the White House. As each
new policy is unveiled, I feel like she personally pushed
the button to initiate these changes. I just don't know
how I could attend her wedding and pretend it's a
joyous event, knowing their history, being surrounded by her Trump
loving friends. I hate to throw away our friendship, but
I'm not sure I can look past these decisions, or
if I even should. I know I'm far from the
(04:52):
only one with a relationship affected by politics, but I
guess I'm wondering if I'll regret letting a decade of
friendship go because of my friend's horrible taste in men. Hi, Chrissy, Hi,
how are you? Hi?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Chray Nice to see you again.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You too.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
We just got caught up on what's going on with
your friend.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Now.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
Have they set a date yet?
Speaker 4 (05:13):
As far as I know, they have not. We have
been a little more distant lately and we haven't talked
too too often, but I don't think that there is
a set date currently.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
How did she tell you they got married or they
got engaged?
Speaker 4 (05:26):
She well, he had a ring for years that he
was holding over her head and not giving to her. Yes,
I recall, and when he gave her the ring, she
was very excited to show it to me. She acted
like it was the dream proposal, and it was just
kind of everything else was pushed under the rug, everything
(05:47):
leading up to that point.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Well, the good news is there most likely won't be
a wedding anyway, since you know his pattern of events
is like he's I'd be one of the chances that
he's been lording this over her head, lording it over
and then he's going to go through with a wedding
and they don't have a date. So yeah, but the
bigger question is okay, So there's that issue, and then
there's all the political stuff. I'm not opposed to if
(06:10):
you are up for it, to releasing this friendship, Like,
it's very hard to see somebody.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Go down that road with a partner.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Additionally, the political aspect of things is like a double whammy.
And you know, like, what are the foundations of your friendship,
what are the things that hold you guys together?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Are those still active? Is that the past?
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Like sometimes we hold on too friendships because of the
history of the friendship, but it's not really serving you anymore,
and in fact, it's kind of disservicing you.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Right, Yeah, I can definitely see that. I think because
we have such a long history where we were both
single moms, we kind of played a role in helping
to raise each other's children. I think it was harder
to let it go because she almost felt like family
to me. But I also know that there are times
that you have to let family go.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Too, Yeah, yeah, And like, do you feel that you
get anything out of this relationship in its current status?
Speaker 4 (07:08):
So do I miss having that friend that I shared
everything with? She was my person that you know, we
there were no boundaries, We talked about everything, and I
don't have that person in my life currently. So I
think I miss having a best friend more than I
(07:30):
miss her specifically, right.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I think that's your answer, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
And I think you should make room for a new
best friend because I think it's nice to have those memories,
and she served her purpose for a period of time
in your life, and now through everything that you've seen,
it's like it's not adding to your life. I would
argue that it's taking from you because of both subject matters,
and it doesn't have to be confrontational. It could just
(07:57):
be like, listen, I think we've really grown a part.
It's really hard for me to watch you go and
marry this man. I understand that you're going to. I
understand you love him, and I want to respect that.
And the best way for me to respect that is to.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Not be there. I don't want to be there.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
I don't you know, like if you feel compelled, like
does it require a conversation or can you just fade away?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
I had sort of tried to fade away, and then
I felt like she kind of kept putting the effort
out there, sending a text, calling, and then I finally
kind of had the conversation with her, saying, I'm sorry
that I have been distant lately, but with the way
that everything in the country is going, I didn't know
(08:39):
that I could have a civil conversation with you without
us And we tried. We tried to, you know, kind
of text through that, and she kind of tried to
make some of her points, and I just got enraged.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
A little bit.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
And I think we are just in such different places
that we're not gonna see eyed eye on a lot
of things right now.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Right I think it would probably be helpful for you
to just take a long break from the relationship, you know,
and circle back around if and when that time feels right, Like,
you don't have any obligation to continue a friendship where
you're so at odds with each other on multiple fronts,
like it's not just one thing, it's multiple things.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Now, And I also think you're right, like you also
aren't obligated to like put a period on the end
of the sentence, so to speak, like it is okay,
things do fizzle, and like maybe there's some time in
the future that she comes back into your life, but
like I think it's okay to just let it lie.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yeah, let it lie, And if she needs to reason
explain it, you can always be honest with her and
just say I'm sorry, Like I want you to do
whatever you want to do, but that I just it's
painful for me to watch this, Like it's painful for
me to see this. It's painful for me to accept
your political views.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I accept them, I believe them.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
But what I need to do is kind of remove
myself from this situation right now because things are too ugly.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
And too scary.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
And also, why would you want to go to a
wedding with a person when she's getting married to with
a person like that, and I guarantee you this wedding
will not happen.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
Yeah, yeah, you're probably right.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
Yeah. I actually keep having dreams that the wedding is
like the next day and I'm like just finding out
about it, and I'm really struggling with myself for not
having been there for her and not having helped her
get ready, and I think that kind of made me question.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yes, but listen, you know, friendships are there sometimes for
like five years. Sometimes they're there for a year, Sometimes
they're there for twenty years, and sometimes like sometimes somebody
is in your life for a period of time for
a reason. And then sometimes it's actually it's a reflection
of like your own belief system, Like when someone shows you, Okay,
this is who I am now, like you have a choice,
(10:57):
You have no obligation to continue this friendship.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Both raised each other's children together.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
That was beautiful, Like that's the best memory you're gonna have, probably,
so hold on to that, and you know, and the
make room for some other people to come into your
life that you are like minded with, that you whose
partners you do respect, whose relationships you admire, Like surround
yourself with the people that you that you admire, you know,
that relationships you would want to mirror for your own
(11:23):
personal life and relation and people that you can relate to.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
So do not wrap yourself up at guilt, wrap yourself
up in like standards. This is beneath the standard that
I would accept for myself. Therefore, it's beneath the standard
that I would accept for you, and I'm just gonna
have to bow out for a while out of love
and respect for myself.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Yeah, oh that's great advice, thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah, And you know, you can grieve that relationship or
you can, but don't beat yourself up.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You've been an.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Incredible friend and there's no reason that you now have
to be like held hostage to this friendship that you're
no longer like, you know, aligned with just her marrying
this guy or accepting his you know, she was just
not paying attention to anything, even strangers who have no
investment in her relationship at.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
All either telling her that it's bullshit.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
She's not seeing that, So you know, if she doesn't
hear or see that, then there's nothing you're going to
be able to do to point that out to her.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Right, Chrissy, will you follow up with us in a
few months and let us know if anything moved forward
with the wedding or But I think, yeah, you can
let yourself off the hook, like hopefully that'll stop you
from having these panic dreams of like you know now
what you're gonna do when and if that happens, which
is you know, politely decline.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah, no, I will definitely follow up.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Okay, okay, awesome, Thanks for calling, Brassie.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Thank you. Have a good day, guys.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Do do do do do do drum roll Catherine, please,
Chelsea Handler abroad. Abroad is my European So I'm coming
to obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get
the health out of this fucking country. And it's not
as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Rekuvic.
(13:12):
I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to the UK. I'm
coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm
coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna.
I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona, and Lisbon.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
I'm coming abroad is abroad that sounds like fun. I'm
going to go see you abroad.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I know I want to go see me abroad and
there all be, there all be upcoming Vegas States, April eighteenth,
July fifth, August thirtieth, November one and twenty ninth at
the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine Law and
be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
com
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