Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine. Oh hello, Chelsea, how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Chelsea Joy Handler speaking.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Chelsea Joy Handler and you're just out there spreading joy.
It actually wasn't for like a while that I realized, Oh,
we always talk about like spreading joy. And I'm like, oh,
that's also her middle name. It's like it's right there,
It's just right there.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Well, I'm trying to spread joy. I don't know if
I'm always spreading joy. Sometimes I'm spreading other things.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Well, I have an update from a caller. This was
a Goalt who her name is Miley. She wrote in
and she was doing like a surrocacy journey if you
remember that language for her friend. This was from an
episode with Lisa Todeo. She was unsure about telling her
new bow she was pregnant with her friend's baby and
she was the surrogate, so she says a lohawk Catherine. Well,
(00:50):
about six states in he continued to push meeting my daughter.
I told him I was uninterested unless he was serious
about us, which he assured me he was. He made
us dinner and was so sweet to her. After she
went to bed, he kept asking whether or not I
would have any more children. I entertained that reality for
about twenty five seconds until I came to my senses
and said it was a hard no. The truth is,
(01:11):
I've already done all the hard parts, and my daughter
is legit fun and enjoyable to hang out with. I
also sleep ten hours a night and she makes her
own breakfast. Why on earth would I started over with
a baby. We went on another date and he said
he would have a hard time not having children of
his own. I told him I just know too much
about what having a child entails, and that the only
people that want kids at this point are people who
(01:33):
don't have them.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yet.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
We've always respected each other's desires for our lives, so
we left it at that. I did, however, have to
post a first ultrasound pick of the surrogate baby, after
which he called freaking out thinking it was his.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Lol. I know, I'm a monster.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
I'm now almost six months pregnant with my friend's daughter,
saving enough to move back to Hawaiian by Land, and
enjoying my life without a baby in tow well not
mine at least.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Hope you're both thriving. Aloha, Miley, Well, good for her.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
People who are surrogates are That is just an amazing
thing to do for another person, truly get pregnant and
then give the baby away to someone else, like I.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Can carry it for nine months.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
And all the health risks that go with that and everything.
Oh my gosh, have you been watching The Pit.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
I have I seen a bunch of episodes of that.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah, there's like a storyline where that's happening, and the
scals like being a surget for I mean, it's a
lot of risk to carry to be a sergeant for somebody.
But great if that's your story. So we'll just do
a couple of quickie questions today. So our first question
today comes from Derek. He says, I would like to
start weed, preferably edibles, but I need to start at
(02:43):
the lowest form. Any suggestions, Derek.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, I just get something that's two point five milligrams
of THHC. That is the lowest entry point, and then
you can, you know, get a package of like gummies
that are two and a half. You can even they
probably even have one milligram, but I know they have
two point five and that's the lowest. That's the lowest.
So you get that, you take one and then you
see how that hits you. Yeah, and you might not
(03:07):
even feel it, you know, at two and a half
you might want another one and then that's five. So
just you have to like ty trate find out what
your dosage is by experimentation.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Yeah, I know they make two and a half miligram mints. Yeah,
I've tried those. Those are pretty good.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I am in the same boat where I'm like, I
like the tiniest little amount ever almost where like I'm
not even really feeling it.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's just like a little twinkle. And so what I do.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
One I really like that never makes me nervous is
like the Camino chill gummies like that specific.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, Caminos are good. Those are that's a good brand,
and they're chill ones. I literally they're five milligrams.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
I will literally cut them either in half or in quarters,
like if I don't want to like really feel much,
but I just want.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
To relax a little bit.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
So definitely suggest that you don't have to take a
whole one, just like bite it in half or quarters
or whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
And then have it swallow it in a hard boiled
egg hole. That's what you do with that, to chase it.
To chase it, always my advice, always, my advice.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Okay, so our next question comes from Andy, longtime fan
here love the podcast. I hope to one day have
a personal problem juicy enough to write in and talk
to you about. But now I actually have a more
random question. We're exactly in Peru. Did you do ayahuasca?
I'm going there this summer and want to try it,
and it looks like you had a pretty good experience.
(04:21):
The last thing I want to do is end up
in some rundown hut in the middle of nowhere tripping
with a bunch of anacondas.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Andy, That's what I was doing. I was in the
middle of fucking nowhere. I don't know what that place
was called Akito's. Akito's was the town we flew to
from Peru. We flew into what's the big Lima, Lima Lima,
flew into Lima, and then we went to Akitos. I
wouldn't recommend the shaman that I used for my ayahuasca journey,
(04:50):
just so you know, I would do some research. I mean,
there's so many shamans in Peru and you go and
you have a really authentic experience, but part of that
authenticity is being in the fucking woods and who knows
what's out there. You're in a jungle, you know what
I mean, Like you're in a rainforest, so you're gonna
be around Anaconda's. I didn't see anyone I was there,
(05:11):
But there's all sorts of lodges up and down. There's
there's tributaries all off the Amazon, and all of them
are offering different packages. So, like you, I would just
look it up. I wouldn't go to Ikedo's. I mean,
Akitos is a place you can go, but I wouldn't.
I don't even know the name of the lodge that
I went to. You, I'd have to look that up,
but I wouldn't recommend that. I would find a group
ceremony where you're gonna be with other tourists that are
(05:33):
also doing that.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
Yeah, and for people who are like considering it as well.
Everyone I know who's done it and hasn't gone to
Peru is like, yeah, i'd kind of like a not
great experience or it wasn't like the full deal. So
you know, don't do it in La maybe or New
York or whatever. Just like go where you're supposed to go. Yeah, yeah,
(05:57):
Well our last question comes from Sophia, So Sophia says,
dear Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I live in Denmark.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I've been married for two years, together for four and
my wife and I are now in the fertility process.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
We've been trying for a few months now. She's doing
the IUI.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
It's been unsuccessful so far, and this is our fifth
attempt and the next one will be IBF. What I
want advice on is getting another dog. A little background
on us. I'm obsessed with dogs, and when I met
my wife, we each had our own dog. I had Leelu,
a long haired sharpay, and we had an incredibly special bond.
She passed away some months ago. Her absence has changed
me in a way. Literally the same week she passed away,
(06:34):
we had our first appointment at the fertility clinic, so
we had a really rocky start to the whole process.
Now we only have one dog, originally my wife's dog, Frida,
a small Maltese. She's a great dog and I love her,
but she's always going to be my wife's dog.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I really want to have another dog.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
I crave it, but my wife is so happy with
how things are now, focusing on the coming pregnancy.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I know that dealing with just one dog is way easier.
Speaker 3 (06:55):
And I guess she's just not into raising a puppy
at this time. But if not now, it probably won't
be for a year or two, what with the baby.
In all, I know that logically now is probably not
the best time, but for some reason I don't care,
or this need is just bigger. How can I convince
my wife? Or do you think I should just put
aside my needs and wait? Thanks so much for an
amazing podcast, Sophia.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I mean I would just get a fucking dog, you
know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, I listen, you
can't really get a dog unless your partner agrees to it.
But I totally get it. I mean, dogs just make
the house more fun. Everything's better with dogs. So I
don't know, I don't have an answer.
Speaker 4 (07:29):
I don't know. It depends.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
No, I think that's a good answer, and I agree.
I think, like, especially when you've had like a big, meaty,
sharpai like a Maltese is cute, but it's not like
the kind of dog maybe she connects with. And I
will also say, even if your wife is pregnant tomorrow,
you have nine months. I will also say, maybe it's
not time for a puppy. Maybe you just like skip
the potty training portion. Like get a dog that's.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Six months or a year old and like it's already trained.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Even if you're getting a dog that's like a couple
of years old, it's great because then they've got a
little life under them. They like to nap a little
bit more. I know, I don't know if I'm ever
gonna do puppy stage again. It really took it out
of me. When we did puppy stage with.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Our twin puppies that we have right now, there was six.
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Months that once it was done, just from all the
putty training and all the training and all the like
little puppy stuff that you have to do. I was like,
I that was maybe a bad mental health six months.
So maybe not a puppy. But if you get a
bigger dog, then you're like ready to roll right into motherhood.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Like Doug.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I got Doug and he was nine months old. He's
a fucking hot mess though, but he's a beautiful hot mess.
Doug is such cool. So you should have seen him
in the woods yesterday running through the woods.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
He got the zuomies.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Inside of the zuomies, he had the zuomies and then
he got a double whammy zoomie, so he was he
didn't know which.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Way to turn.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
He was flying through the woods like a giant running squirrel,
like he was airborne. I'm like, he's gonna impale himself anyway.
I would always just add to the collection of dogs.
But you know, if you do, have to get your
wife's approval, So get.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
A little matenance dog that's already trained and like your
wife will get on board.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
It'll be fain here you go. All right, Well that's
all we've got for today.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Okay, thanks for listening, guys.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
We'll see you later.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Bye Catherine, Bye, do do do do do, drum roll Catherine,
please and abroad broad is my European tour.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I
need to get the health out of this fucking country
and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm
coming at Rekuvik, I'm coming at the UK. I'm coming
to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
In May and June.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin,
Barcelona and Lisbon. I'm coming abroad is abroad.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
That sounds like fun. I'm going to go see you abroad.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
I know I want to go see me abroad and
there all be there, all be excellent. Okay. My remaining
dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for this year.
Summertime is coming and I will be in Vegas at
the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth. We will
be the next date that I'm there July fifth, August thirtieth,
(10:18):
and then November one and twenty ninth. November first and
November twenty ninth, I will be in Las Vegas at
the Cosmo performing inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called
Chelsea at the Chelsea.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
For a reason. Okay, thank you. Do you want advice
from Chelsea?
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com