Open and Ridiculous with Rob Lowe

Rob Lowe joins Chelsea for a two-part conversation to celebrate our 200th episode!  The conversation starts over on Rob’s podcast, so be sure to check that out, too.   Rob and Chelsea chat about sobriety and knowing yourself, discuss Bigfoot vs. God, and find out why Rob is still so hot for his wife after all these years. Then: A wife wonders if it’s okay to forgive her cheating husband.  A work crush gets de-fanged.  And a boyfriend of 2 years has never touched his girlfriend’s pikachu.  

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Listen to the first half of the conversation on Literally! with Rob Lowe

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Order a signed copy of Chelsea’s new book HERE!

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Need some advice from Chelsea? Email us at [e-mail]

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Executive Producer Catherine Law

Edited & Engineered by Brad Dickert

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The views and opinions expressed are solely those of the Podcast author, or individuals participating in the Podcast, and do not represent the opinions of iHeartMedia or its employees.  This Podcast should not be used as medical advice, mental health advice, mental health counseling or therapy, or as imparting any health care recommendations at all.  Individuals are advised to seek independent medical, counseling advice and/or therapy from a competent health care professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issues, health inquiry or matter, including matters discussed on this Podcast. Guests and listeners should not rely on matters discussed in the Podcast and shall not act or shall refrain from acting based on information contained in the Podcast without first seeking independent medical advice. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine, Hi, Chelsea, Hi, this is We're doing two
episodes today because it's our two hundredth episode. It's two
hundredth episodes, so we decided to put out two episodes.
One is with Tanks and one is with our guest today,
who is a ridiculous person whom I love. I love
him very much, he really really always I it's something
about him. I have to come up with the word

(00:22):
for him. I learned a great other I wearn't a
great word. I warn't a great word the other day.
Magisterial somebody who walks with confidence, somebody who is like
an authoritary figure, somebody who exudes confidence and authority. I
like your real magisterial in a positive way, not in
a negative way, like a dipsydoodle who's running the White House.
But that's not how I would describe Rob. That is

(00:45):
it the word I was thinking of. I thought that
was a good word to describe myself, actually, because I'm
so full of my own piss and vinegar. But anyway,
Rob is an actor, a producer, he's a podcaster and
an author, and he tries to pretend he's an amazing skier.
We'll see about that. To be determined, is what I
like to say about that. We are doing a special

(01:05):
double episode back to back with his podcast, so you
can catch the first half of his episode of our
episode is his podcast, and then the second half is ours.
So please welcome Rob Low. I want to get him
pre ejaculation. But can we do that before? Can we
switch over before there's a Okay, Hi, Catherine, Hi, we
just switched over from literally with Rob Low. I love this.

(01:29):
How cute?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
Are we?

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:31):
So good?

Speaker 1 (01:31):
We have Rob Loow today, everybody. We just came from
his podcast. So for the first half of this episode,
you're going to want to go listen to Rob Low's
podcast literally literally, and then this is the second half
of the episode.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Rob.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Were you about to say something about orgasmine?

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yes, I was, Okay, I was about to say that
I enjoy it and that it is just a spasm,
as Steely Dan says, and you must keep orgasming as
you continue to age.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
This is very profound, Rob, Thank you for sharing that insight.
You must keep orgasm. Famous quote from Rob Low you
must keep orgasming as you age end quote.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Well, I think there are plenty of people who aren't. Yeah,
I go yeah, yeah, I mean, look, I get it, Sid,
that sounds like the most lame asked orgasm idea. But
then look around you.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
At all the people that aren't orgasming.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, go to the skichale, get in the line for
the chicken fingers in the hot coco.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Look at all those people who haven't ejaculated in days, weeks,
or months. In some instances, we're actually going to be.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Talking to a caller today who might be in this situation.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
So, oh my god, perfect, How prescient for Rob to
have brought this up. Rob, I have a question for
you now that we're on my podcast. No, I think
we talked about this last time you were on my podcast,
But I always am very curious since you've been married
for how long have been? How many years have you
been married?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Thirty four thirty four four years?

Speaker 1 (03:01):
So who do you think is more annoying you or
Cheryl within the relationship? Like who annoys who the most?

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Oh? I annoy her? Yeah, I was gonna guess that
one percent.

Speaker 1 (03:14):
And why why are you so annoying?

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Because I'm always doing bits and not trying to be funny,
but I'm like I do asides really annoying watching she
hates watching television or movies with me hate.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Did you talk?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
I talk all the time. If it's good, I don't.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
But did you guys watch White Lotus together?

Speaker 2 (03:39):
We did watch White Lotus together. But that's good. So
when it's good, I don't talk. I talk when it's bad,
and most things are bad, so I'll be like, you know,
they clearly shut that that sequence in Vancouver. You can
tell me the telephone polls should be shut up.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Or that's that's annoying, Rob, I mean, why who are
you telling? You're just trying to prove to yourself how
perspicacious you are in that instance.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
You know, I'm trying to keep myself awake watching or you're.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
Just trying to show Like, yeah, those things you can
keep to yourself for sure.

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Yeah. A lot of times I'll watch something and the
performance will be so bad and I'll be biting my
lip and biting my lip and biting my lip and
biting me a lip if I'm like, oh my god,
you get shut up. Yeah. She likes a lot of
the sort of mommy porn rom coms where everybody's super
good looking and terrible acting.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Oh my god, I find I hate rom coms like
unless there is some new spin, I can't stand that formula.
It's so it's it's it's insulting to my intelligence. It's
like reality shows. I find those insulting too, Like when
people the housewives and they're looking blah blah blah and

(04:57):
love Island, and I just and autism on the spectrum,
love all of it. I just can't understand how anyone
can get roped into that sort of chickanery.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
I keep so I did it kind of a reality
show of my sons, but and I loved it, and
I'm super proud of it. It's like us in a
Scooby Doo van driving around looking for supernatural para normal
activity together. It's basically Anthony Bourdaine Parts Unknown meets Scooby Doo.
But really what it is is fathers and sons spending

(05:33):
time with each other. And it's super silly and super
funny and super great. So I feel like there's a
zone where I can love it, but most of it
is so bad. And then can we talk about the music,
Like I was watching like Alec Baldwin's.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
I watched that too. I watched three episodes of that.

Speaker 2 (05:52):
I could it not It's like Alex so smart and
has such great taste. I just wish he'd go in
the editing and go why is that same music cue
always used? It's this cutty pie.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
He gave up, rob He's given up. If you can't
tell by that show, Alec Baldwin has officially given up.
He's given up his rights, he's given up his self respect,
he has given up. He has fifty seven children and
a wife who is half the size of the baby.
I don't understand how he could have agreed. Well, obviously

(06:31):
they need some money. I mean, I can't imagine. I
can't imagine what circumstances led to that being an option.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
People's your phone rings with weird I mean you must.
I have been asked. Everybody gets asked, would you ever
do as such and such and such and such. It's like,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Do you turn down a lot of stuff?

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yeah? I mean yeah, I sure for sure. And what
I try to do sometimes is go, well, I don't
want to do that, but I would do this.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
I feel like no, But like within the same script,
if they send you a script and offer you a role,
are you talking about like I don't want to play this? Character,
but I play that character or what that?

Speaker 2 (07:13):
And literally like just circling back to the people at
A and E came to me and said, would you
ever you like to build houses? And you you've crushed
it in real estate? Would you ever do a house
flipping high end house? And I said no, but I
would do a show where I hunt for Bigfoot with
my kids.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
And they're like, right, oh, let's get back to that
supernatural reality show that you're referencing. Unfortunately I haven't seen
any of those episodes. Were you guys able to come
into some sort of or witness any sort of supernatural activity.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
It's called The Low Files. I think you can get
it on like iTunes or something. We did. We saw
we absolutely had ghost activity in our very first episode.
The ghost was moving like furniture around really and like
lights coming off and on when nobody was in the building.
Really crazy show that. And then we went to like

(08:02):
we did supposed like alien bases in the desert and
a lot of time, of course nothing happened and it
was just three idiots sitting around a fire. That was
actually my favorite was like driving and pulling over and
getting donuts and just being idiots. Was my favorite part
of it. But we definitely saw some stuff one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
And are you a big like do you believe aliens exist?
And things like that.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
I'm way down the rabbit hole with all that stuff. Okay,
I am very well, there's probably not a wormhole you
could bring up that I don't have some sort of
functional knowledge of.

Speaker 1 (08:41):
And do you think that is a result of you
spending so much time in Monacito.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
No, I've always been that way. And in fact, the
slogan for the show is my motto about this stuff.
When people literally ask me, really, do you really believe
in Bigfoot, I'd be like, it's more.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Fundable, It is more fun to believe. It's more fun
to believe in God. Like it's better to believe in
God because it's just nicer. It's like a nicer idea.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
That's how I actually is how I came to my
relationship with God. That's how it started.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Well, the real question is when did God's relationship start
with you?

Speaker 2 (09:16):
Well, it's been there forever, but I just didn't know
it right.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
You had to tap into it. Yeah, it's funny. I
was on stage on Friday night in Vegas. I have
a residency in Vegas. I performed once a month because
that's how much time I could spend in Vegas. And
I did a joke about Jesus. This new joke I
was trying out about Jesus and accepting the fact that
the joy that you experienced from knowing Jesus is a
joy I'll never know. And then when I got food

(09:41):
poisoning the next night and I was violently throwing up
into my wastebasket next to my bed, I thought, is
this because what I said about Jesus?

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Hmmm?

Speaker 1 (09:51):
And I thought, please, God, I'm sorry. If you need
me to believe in Jesus, give me a sign. And
then I threw up again, and I thought, that's a sign.
And now I believe in Jesus.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
It takes what it takes. I mean, it's like, don't
question it. Like everybody, everybody gets here in a different route.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
I love that because a lot of times, I mean,
you've been sober for many, many years, but a lot
of times people like associate sobriety with God with Jesus.
But there's a lot of people like I have a
couple sober friends who are like, no, we didn't work
the program. We did another way, like they're non believers.
They don't believe in God and they don't believe in Jesus.
But because the twelve steps really are about God and
a higher.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Being, it's about higher powers, not about God. In the literature,
there's a lot of talk about God one percent, but
it's it's very entrenched and modern even traditional sobriety that
you do not have to believe in God, merely something
greater than yourself, right, and that's reasonable, and that's super reasonable.

(10:50):
I mean I roll my eyes when it's like the
problem is some people make other people their higher power, well,
my family, and that's that's a road to Pollukville. You
can't make another person or group of people your higher power.
You cannot because they're people. And okay, if you're not
to believe in God or Jesus or or any of
the other great you know, spiritual guides that we have

(11:13):
culturally in different religions, the list becomes kind of small,
is it. I believe in animals, I believe in fern Gully.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
Well, you believe in Bigfoot? You said that, all right?

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Do you believe in Bigfoot? Wouldn't make it my I
would not make bigfoot my higher power.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Okay, well I just did so there's nothing you can
do about it.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Okay, that is kind of cool though. That'd be a
great bit. That'd be a great bit.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
What are you believing in? Bigfoot is your higher power?

Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, I'm rob Loow. I'm an alcoholic. I asked Bigfoot
for peace and serenity today.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Do you still do you go to AA meetings? Do
you still work the program that way? Are you so
far outside of eve been sober for thirty four years?
You said earlier?

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, and look, the one thing in common are people
who like I was thirty four years sober and I
got loaded yesterday. The one thing they all have in common,
and you hear those stories is they stopped. They stopped
their active recovery. And I don't do as much of
it as I should.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Well, you probably don't have to.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah, I understand how it'll live my life. I mean,
if I'm I know this, If I ever get in
enough uncomfortability in my own skin, I know, I know
what the cure is. It's not advil, it's going to
a meeting. One mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
What do you think Cheryl thinks is the most annoying
thing about you?

Speaker 2 (12:28):
Wow, it used to be how much I slept. She's
gotten really good because science is caught up with me.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Oh. Because how long do you sleep every night?

Speaker 2 (12:37):
Oh? I mean I get a minimum of nine Oh.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
I'm with you completely. I could sleep for eleven hours
a night if you me too.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
I don't see. I have a lot of shame around it.
I don't want to say it. But why.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
I mean, most men actually do sleep less than women's sleep.
But I just there. I can't express enough the benefits
of sleeping same.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
I mean, like when people go, how do you look?
I mean maybe a lot of it is that I
sleep a lot.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
It definitely does, because there's no explanation for the way
you look.

Speaker 2 (13:04):
They did call it sleeping beauty, not workout beauty.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Well, you could sleep and then work out. I know
you're working out once you wake up.

Speaker 2 (13:11):
They didn't say it in No Carbs beauty. It's fucking
sleeping beauty. That's the name of the movie.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
What's the longest sleep run you've ever had?

Speaker 2 (13:19):
Well, not being sick or sleeping something off like just
regular or no jet lag involved.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Or not well, yeah, sure, whatever.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
I mean lost, I've definitely done my share of twelve
for sure.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
I went slept for twenty hours. Was it on a plane, No,
it was in a bunk bed. What I had a
bunk bed at my old house, and I guess I
hadn't slept for like a day or so. I had
come back from Buenos Aires.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Jet leg jet like jet like jetwag.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
Yeah, it was jet lag. But when I really needed
deep sleep, I go into my bunk bedroom because there's
just something so cozy and familial and like childlike in there.
And I slept for twenty hours and then I peed
for almost twenty minute.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
Un fucking but that sounds like kind of heavy. I
when I do the big international flights like Australia or something,
or South Africa, the ones that are just beasts, I
love it because I can go. I could sleep runway
to runway if I had to, one hundreds.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
I do it all the time. Are you allowed to
take Xanax and stuff like that, sleeping pills if you're sober.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
There's different theories on it. I certainly wouldn't recommend it
or it, nor did I do it for the first
maybe even decade of being sober, but you know I was,
and if I were a pill person, which I wasn't.
I wouldn't, but I have no problem with me doing
that now.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, I mean it's kind of necessary when you're traveling.
I mean, how else are you supposed to adjust to
these different time zones?

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Yeah, listen, there's a lot of good science out there
that they didn't have when I listen, when I got sober,
they had fucking horse pills like a valium and that
was it.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
They didn't. I took one of those ones at Jane
Fonda's house, and I was never the same. I couldn't
move my legs for like two days. What do you
think is your superpower?

Speaker 4 (15:04):
Rob?

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Like, what do you think is your best the best
thing about you?

Speaker 2 (15:08):
My superpower is my optimism. That's nice for sure, and
it manifests itself. I think in a lot of ways
where it's like if something doesn't go my way, or
which happens to everybody, or there's a disappointment, I just
don't ever wallow in it, and I never blame others ever. Ever,

(15:31):
I don't blame myself either, But I'm like, okay, all right,
today's another day. Get up. And it's not something I
learned anywhere. I just think it's part of my it's
in my DNA. I've always been that way, and I
think it's I'm very grateful that I'm wired that way.
I don't hold on to resentments, which, by the way,
weirdly enough, is the single worst thing you can have

(15:52):
as a sober person is resentments. So I think I
was designed not only to be an alcoholic, but then
to get sober and succeed because as I don't carry
resentments and I'm positive, optimistic.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
What do you think that what was? Can you give
us an example of a big disappointment that you've experienced,
like your latest big disappointment where you were able to
shrug it off.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
Sure, so career wise without being two inside baseball. So
I've I've been in television since nineteen ninety nine doing
TV series, had hits, had failures. I'd never been able
to renegotiate for a raise ever twenty years in more
in television, never.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Been a raise from each from one series to the next.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
No within the series of a hit, like yes, the
congratulations it's a hit, we will be canceling your character,
or congratulations, it's a hit. And so just when I
thought I'd had every permutation of financial humiliation, at the
hands of the TV industry. I get this show nine

(16:54):
to one to one, lone star Ryan Murphy producing, with
the great Tim Minear writing big hit, big, big, big,
big hit. Turns out it's such a big hit that
they just aren't going to make it anymore. Just turns
out they're just not going to make it because the
studio and the network couldn't agree on what to do

(17:15):
with the big hit, so they just canceled it. And
anyone else would be like, are you fucking kidding me?
It's hard enough to make a show successful, and here
we have one successful and now that the War of
the bean Counters is going to say, we'd rather have

(17:39):
nothing of something then continue. So the way I look
at it is I go, you know what that is.
It's a fact of the business today. It is. It's
not personal. And believe me, I'm sure that they would
like to continue to do it just as much as
I would. But these are the circumstances. Anyone's fault is

(18:01):
it galling beyond belief. But you move on. And I
think we everybody can relate to that in whatever business
they're in, that sometimes success is not rewarded in the
way that you would want it to be.

Speaker 1 (18:14):
Yeah, that would be a pretty big bummer. Are you
one of those people who believes everything happens for a reason? Yes,
I find that a little bit far fetched.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
But I can trace. I can trace.

Speaker 5 (18:26):
No.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
Granted, I don't want to test this theory anymore than
I already have. I don't want to. I don't need
any more roadblocks or bad things to happen. But I
can trace things that were traumatic or that I wouldn't
like to redo. I can make a direct line from
them to things that happened only because those things happened.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Yeah, I just have a hard time. I hear you,
and I feel the same way with many instances in
my life. But I just feel like it's very hard
to believe that everything happens for a reason for every
single person in the world. Like, you can't be servicing
the energy or God or the universe or whatever we're
referring to. Can't be servicing the benefit of every human

(19:04):
being in every equation. You know, sometimes things are happening
for someone else's benefit and you're just kind of aside,
like a supporting character.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
I believe, Yeah, but I think that that chromically, you
know that that person who's on the underneath of that
equation needs to be underneath that equation at that moment
because it's leading to the moment where they are going
to be on the top of the equation, and you
can't you literally can't get there unless you're at the

(19:36):
bottom at the bottom. Why I believe that, I believe
that one under my being one hundred percent. Now, there
are tragedies that befall people that I can't even imagine,
and I can't that I might be whistling a different
tune with that, But that said, my experience so far

(19:56):
has been that there's a reason.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
I have a question for you. And if you're listening
to this podcast, for the first half of the podcast,
you have to go to Rob's podcast which.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Is called Literally.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Just called Literally for the first half of our conversation
because we've covered a lot of topics. But one thing
before we take any callers, Rob, is I want to
ask you what is your favorite thing about Cheryl, your wife?

Speaker 2 (20:21):
Oh my god, there's a lot. I mean, there's two things.
There have to be two, because one is I never
thought I could be in a relationship as long as
I'd been and still be as sexually attracted to somebody,
I thought, oh fuck Jesus Christ and I am. And

(20:43):
really I just didn't think that would be in the cards.
I really didn't.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
And you didn't think that when you were younger.

Speaker 2 (20:50):
I just didn't think it was possible, frankly for anybody,
much less me.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
And when did you think that when you got married?
When you were married in the beginning of your marriage, like,
when did you think that that was true?

Speaker 2 (21:00):
I thought it was probably going to be true when
I was I you know, I think I was probably
sitting there saying, I do going I'm not going to
be wanting to have sex with this woman in a decade.
I'm for sure not going to and lo and behold,
I have and will.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
And it's nice. That's really nice to hear.

Speaker 2 (21:20):
Super nice to that.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
I wonder if she's still attracted to you, because it
must be really annoying to be married to you, you
know what I mean, with your face and your body
and your good looks, it don't change. It's just like ugh,
and to have to hear people talk about how good
looking you are all the time, like that would be
so annoying.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
She has a set She's like, oh, please, you haven't
had to wake up next to it exactly because nobody
nobody's at their fighting weight when they wake up in
the morning. The other thing is I love her work,
ethic and spirit, like her dynamicism around every time.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
I haven't heard that word in dynamicism.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
I probably butchered it.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Dynasism, namism, maybe being dynamic, dynamism.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Dynam Yeah, dyna dynamism.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
Thanks Catherine, thank you here for dynamism. Dynamic.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
That thing, whatever, that thing I just said was is
what I what I really like, and it was. It's
one of the first things that attracted me to her.
You know, she had had her own house, had her
own job, had her own career, had her own life,
had her own network from the day I met her,
and I found that to be really attractive.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, that is attractive. Okay. On that note, we're going
to take a break and we'll be right back with
Rob Low.

Speaker 3 (22:40):
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, write into us at
Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to
hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on,
but this week we're specifically looking for questions about family issues.
If you have an issue with a family member, or
you need advice about a specific relationship issue. Please write
in at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
And we're back with Rob Low to answer some callers questions.
There's no better person at giving advice than Rob Low.
He's been through it all. Look at him. You can
see just by looking at him, everything he's been through.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (23:16):
Catherine.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Yeah, Well, our first question, this one's just an email.
She's not joining us, but it comes from Rebecca and
she says, am I crazy to forgive adultery? Dear Chelsea?
My husband cheated on year ten of our marriage. We're
beginning year twenty five in twenty twenty five, so it's
been a little bit.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
Yeah, he had a.

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Few relationships that year and then confessed all when I
was pregnant with child number two. He wanted a clean
slate for his new kiddo. It was a very painful
chapter for us both, but obviously for me the most.
It took about six years, but I've been able to
move forward six years.

Speaker 5 (23:51):
Fuck.

Speaker 3 (23:52):
He is now someone I trust deeply. He earned forgiveness
the hard way. But people think I'm nuts. Am I
crazy to even attempt forgiveness.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Rebecca, I have very strong feelings on this.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Okay, go ahead, rob Okay.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
So I'm working on a new book. It's hard to
do these podcasts and be working on something so personal
and not talk about it. They don't want me to
talk about because I han't been announced, but fuck it.
I'm working on a new book and one of the
things I'm talking about is forgiveness and its importance. And
in our culture, forgiveness has been superseded by boundaries, and

(24:29):
I don't think it's serving our society well.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
Expound on that coast.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
So I think because historically a lot of people have
felt unseen and unheard, justifiably, that we needed to create
a world where there could be the proper boundaries through
which we could all see, speak, talk to each other,
relate to each other. Got it, stipulated, as the lawyers

(24:56):
would say in court. Got it. But it's since grown
into a cottage industry of these rigid worldviews that don't
take into account forgiveness and others. If you step out
of the boundary, you're done. We're done. There's no coming back.

(25:18):
And it's funny. In the end of this email, she
brought up the very very the aha I told you
so a moment for me, which is I've forgiven and
I trust this man and it's a newsley, but people
think I'm crazy. My issue is with the people thing.

(25:39):
They're not in this person's shoes, right, they don't understand
the nature of forgiveness. They're in the boundary mob. H okay, pitchfork,
pitchfork unforgive mob. That would what lead to extrapolating it
to the nth degree. What I'm reading between the lines

(26:01):
is she gives this guy the boot. They go their
separate ways. The kid has no nuclear family together, and
for what that's the hell they're going to die on.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
I think that. I mean, I like what you're saying.
I don't know if I agree with it, but I
also I don't disagree with it. I think that if
you were able, I definitely don't think any other people's
opinions are a matter. Like I understand how it is
you tell people of things and then you know they
kind of seep into your subconscious or conscious because you
share and you need advice. But if you spent six

(26:35):
years of your life getting over that, and you're still
with that guy, and you had another child and he
wanted to come clean while you were pregnant. I mean,
the timing is weird, but okay, then that's you, Like
you've gotten through it. You trust him implicitly, you just
said that you're with the marriage, like you're in it
and you love him and you got through a rough patch,

(26:57):
Like kudos to you. Definitely just up worrying about what
anybody else thinks. Like you've made your decision. You're in it.
And I do think a lot of people learn from cheating.
They learn that they make a mistake and they never
are going to do that again. Some people are habitual cheaters,
but usually like they don't come forward when they're not.
You know, like if you're a habitual cheater, you're not

(27:18):
gonna volunteer that information.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
And the other thing is you got to think about
the kid too. I keep coming back to that too,
because like I'm a child of divorce.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
God, Rob, you're drinking so much water.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
I mean, do you think it's a lot of water
you're making.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
I'm going to drown if you have another simple water.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
You're talking so much, Chelsea, it's these little tiny you
crazy woman that it's just and I'm not I'm not
in any way, advocating to to as they would, as
the kids would say today, to model a relationship that
is unhealthy or unhappy. But if it's a fucking jump

(27:55):
ball stay together better for the kid?

Speaker 1 (27:58):
I don't know. I hate that idea that it's better
for the kid. It's who do I mean? Is it
better for the kid to stay with someone that you
don't trust?

Speaker 2 (28:05):
It's it just unhealthy. And if it's jump ball, I
don't know what that means. If it could go either way.
It's a sports it's a basketball reference.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Right, But that should be your motivation, should be how
you feel, not for the sake of the children. We
all know that for the sake of the children is bullshit.
If it's if you're unhappy, your children are not going
to be as happy period. If you don't trust your husband,
your children are going to know and pick up on that.
It's a nice idea, but I think a lot of
people stay in marriages that they don't need to be
in because of they think their children are going to
fall apart.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
That I agree with that one that I agree with
one billion trillion percent.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
I definitely think people are forgivable, like when they cheat,
and I mean he said he had multiple affairs that year,
So like, that sucks on multiple levels. But you know,
maybe he was just going through something and maybe he's
past it, and apparently he is. So Yeah, you don't
even need our advice. You've made your decision and the
only advice I would give you is to stop looking
out outside of your relationationship for validation from your friends

(29:01):
and family.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's not their problem and the other it is not
their problem. And how do I put this hard? It's
a hard concept for me and articulate, but we can't
help but sometimes project our own stuff onto other people
and our own once needs. Envy is a big thing you.

(29:24):
I think people would be surprised with the amount of
envy around people who can navigate the ups and downs
of a relationship because the other person isn't capable of it.
There are people who are like, the minute the going
gets tough, I'm fucking out. I am tail lights, And

(29:48):
then they look at somebody who's like, when the minute
the going gets tough, I figure out forgiveness. And that
is a worldview that can be really jarring to people.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, well that's our advice on that subject, Catherine. What
do we have next well caller. Yes, okay, this is
a caller. Her name's Laura. She is forty four. Dear Chelsea.

Speaker 3 (30:11):
Here's my situation. I manage a team of men in
a male dominant field, so I love men, but I'm
pretty immune to their charms. I was working closely with
a new hire with impressive skills, motivation, and attitude when
I had this strange realization that actually I love him,
although it's not in a sexy way. We're both happily married,
but I can't wait to see him, hang on his

(30:31):
funny words, and generally enjoy his company. This realization put
a pep in my step, and I've had all the
benefits of an affair, a good mood, more attention to
my looks, and I've lost some weight. It's even improved
my marriage. But this coworker's presence haunts my mind. And
while the attraction is not physical, it's his silly, funny
nature and depth. The feeling is like a childhood friend.

(30:52):
I made a conscious decision that I would not resist
my feelings so that I wouldn't psychologically turn it into
something forbidden. I go back and forth thinking it over.
I want to love and openly appreciate this person, openly
appreciate people who inspire that. But do I have enough
emotional distance to objectively manage him. He's a direct report,
and having favorites on a team is toxic even to

(31:13):
the favorite. But he's a high performer, so it's possible
we could use this chemistry for good. The most I
would ever want is a hug and assurancy he's having
the same experience. Maybe a promise to be innocent friends forever?
Can you help me with any guide rails that can
help me think straight and keep things in perspective? Am
I fooling myself? And is this actually adulteress?

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Laura?

Speaker 2 (31:33):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Laura, this is our special guest Rob Low today.

Speaker 2 (31:37):
Hi. How are you good?

Speaker 1 (31:40):
She's great obviously if you yep, she's thriving. I don't
think anything's wrong with what's happening, Rob, What do you think?

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Yes? If I have to immediately come down on the
side of it, I think it's all good. I mean,
tell me this, what does here? It is? I got it?
I got it. I got to have my answer. Here's
my answer. Your husband, right, you're married? What is your
husband's level of knowledge about this relationship? U? Zero?

Speaker 1 (32:14):
For sure, which is perfect. I agree, yeah, yeah, why does.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
He need to know?

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Listen, it's like meeting act like this guy is a
gay man, this is your gay bestie. We have these
ideas that just because someone is of the opposite sex,
we're up to something. There is a total world. I mean, Rob,
I feel this way about you, Like if we got
to spend more time together, you and I would be besties.
We would be having sex, we would be besties. Like
I don't feel like just because someone we have these

(32:42):
sexual ideology about that every man or woman of the
opposite sex, if you're straight, is like a possible threat.
It's like you can actually be great friends with someone
and like their attention. It's like if you had a
girlfriend that was like this at work. What if this
was a woman and you were excited to see her
every day and you were dressing up for her, which
is totally normal for women to do for each other.

(33:04):
There was no sexual energy there and you were just
excited to see her and hang out with her every day,
Like forget about the work stuff. Who cares If he's
like your favorite. Everybody's got a fucking favorite, as long
as you don't just advertise it, but like it's totally innocent.
Your husband doesn't need to know anything about it. Enjoy
your friendship, and if it ever gets to a place
where he makes a move or you feel like there's

(33:26):
some sexual tension, you just have to really nip it
in the butt and go listen, we have such a
great thing going. Let's just keep it this way, keep
it innocent, respect our relationships outside relationships, and continue with
our friendship. Because this is a great thing that I
do not want to ruin.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Okay, I agree with I agree with all that. I'm
going to add one more thing to inoculate yourself even
further from self doubt. Figure out a way to make
it not just a siloed off secret from your husband.
I'm not in any way advocating it makes me feel
like a million golla. You don't need to go there.

(34:01):
Let's let's not be crazy. But is it like the
fourth of July barbecue and here's so and so and
he's oh he's my favorite, or guy's the fucking sick
you'd love him? Is this that? And yet and see?
That would be the only thing that I might add
to innoculate you from somebody going, oh, you're having an
emotional affair.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
That's exactly what I'm worried about. Is that exact thinking that, like,
we'll tell.

Speaker 2 (34:26):
You what, you're not having an emotional affair if if
your husband knows he exists and some level of I
think he's cool, I think he's whatever. If it's completely
siloed off, you're you're never gonna get beyond that doubt.

Speaker 4 (34:44):
Yeah. I was kind of hoping there was like an
opportunity that came up where they could meet. Yes, And
but I was so dangerous because I was like, oh,
he's gonna be able to tell my husband, right, he'll
he'll see it in me and anyway.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
I'm I'm.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Listen. But here's the thing that well, the ninety is
that like either we agree with Chelsea's thesis, which I do,
or we don't. And if the thing is you should
be able to be best friends with someone regardless of who,
what where they are, right, male, female, whatever, how are

(35:22):
you identify whatever? Right, there's there's nothing wrong. There's no
nothing wrong with that. What's wrong potentially is the hiding
of it. Although I totally understand why one would do it.

Speaker 1 (35:34):
Yeah, No, I like that a lot.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
I do because I'm kind of like, yeah, I mean,
nothing's happening. We're just good friends and buddies.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
This guy makes me laugh the hardest at work. Work
would be a nightmare. He's he's fucking great. You'll love him.
Boom done done.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
And you can also say to your husband, just to
like inoculate the situation further. You can also there Rob
goes with the water again. You can also say, hey, like,
it's like having a gay best friend. I know he's
that gay, but that's how it feels like.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
We don't know he might be gay. Wait, we don't
know that yet. I didn't get that piece.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
He's married with children, so definitely gay. Definitely gay.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
Well, like you said, childhood best friend, you know, I mean,
you are beaming right now, like, let this just be fun.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
Okay, are you sure you're not attracted to him?

Speaker 5 (36:23):
Well?

Speaker 4 (36:23):
No, And the funny thing is, like I've been to
try to help myself.

Speaker 6 (36:26):
I've been journaling.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
Well, make sure you're locking up your journal too, because
we've had some journal snoops on the show recently.

Speaker 4 (36:33):
So I'm like journaling like crazy, and I go in
these weird circles where I'm like, he's not even really
my type, and then like, but actually my husband he's
really good looking, Like he's is my type and he's tall,
dark and handsome, and it kind of like makes me
go back to my husband. All my circles keep going back.
But it's just that weird thing where it's like a
feeling of infatuation, but just like can we swear an oath,

(36:56):
not like can we get sex yet?

Speaker 2 (36:59):
So weird.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
You could just swear a note to yourself in your
journal that you're not going to let that happen and
not let it go farther than it is, you know,
and if it ever comes up with him, do the
same with him. But yeah, like it's not you're only
thinking of this because he's a straight man and you're
a straight woman. That's the only reason you're like going, oh,
what's going on here? Like, it's totally normal to have
friendships with men that you're not going to have sex
with and be excited to see them.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
And that that somehow, who knows in our weirds, how
our psychologies work, that somehow that actually sparks something additional
in our partner makes perfect sense.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah, and you just said your relationship with your husband's
improving anyway because of him, I mean another kudo. So
that's great.

Speaker 6 (37:42):
Well, thank you, guys.

Speaker 4 (37:43):
I'm so glad because I've just been, you know, turning
myself in circles, and that's a new perspective I haven't
even thought of.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Aweso great, And have fun in the Bahamas this weekend
with your coworker. Just kidding, just kidding. Thanks, thank you,
thanks for calling in you guys.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Okay, Well, before we get to our next caller, Rob,
I do want to ask you one question. When Chelsea
says the word Pikachu, do you know what she's referencing?

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Okay, okay, so I say Pikachu. No what we're about
to do a couple of times. Okay, collar, great question.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Oh maybe, oh oh maybe, I don't I know.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
I think you I don't understand it in the context
that's used to it. Then you will.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
Okay. I'm by the way, my mind because it's filthy,
dirty and sexy, hopes that Pikachu is a it is.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
What you think it is.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah, you'll see.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Well, Coller Kristen says, Dear Chelsea, I can't believe I'm
writing this email, but I have nowhere left to turn.
My sweet boyfriend of two years has never touched my Pikachu.

Speaker 1 (38:47):
Yes, you heard that right.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
We've had sex and we've done other stuff, but my
boyfriend has never touched my Pikachu, not once. He's a
precious angel, but he's a little too precious. He lost
his virginity at twenty seven, and I'm only his second partner.
I'm a bit more adventurous with him being the eleventh,
and I've never until now needed to tell a man
to touch my Pikachu before the big event. They've all
just known, probably since middle school. I've tried to bring

(39:12):
it up a couple of times, but I don't want
to hurt his feelings. When I've managed to bring it
up poorly, I'll admit my boyfriend did immediately take action. Unfortunately,
the action was basically to start giving me an over
the pants hand job. I swear, Chelsea, he thinks I
have a penis and doesn't understand the girls have a
cave and the good stuff is inside, not outside. I
love this guy, so I'm desperate to make the change here.

(39:33):
But I also don't want to humiliate him and make
sex some kind of competition that he's inevitably losing.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Please help Kristen, Wow, well, you not wanting to hurt
his feelings needs to be thrown in the trash because
it's really not about his feelings at this point. It's
about you having sex like an adult with a person
that knows what to do. So you have to kind
of sit down and lay it out for him in
a really sober conversation and be like, listen, this has

(40:02):
been going on for a while. You could say all
the things you love about him and all of the
things you value in your relationship, but that you're not
being sexually satisfied and that it doesn't feel like he's
comfortable around your vagina, and there are a million ways
to address that. You can sit there and just like
actually have a discovery session with him to explain all
the different parts and what feels good and where your

(40:23):
clid is, and that you know, like, it's very strange
that he doesn't know how to touch your vagina.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
Or doesn't want to. I mean, for all, we know
the guy's going to be a master when he gets
actually down there, but he do we know that, Rob,
I mean I'm just giving I'm trying to give a
benefit of the doubt here.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
Yeah, Well, that's a big, big jump. Yeah, so he's
never gone down on you.

Speaker 6 (40:45):
No, no way, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 5 (40:47):
And most people when I address this problem, because obviously
I've brought it up to all my friends, which is
humiliating immediately just regret just all over the place.

Speaker 6 (40:57):
But you know, most of them.

Speaker 5 (41:00):
Because I'm speaking in euphemisms all the time, all of
them think I'm talking about, you know, putting a face
down there and saying the alphabet, when really I'm just
talking about like the thing a lot.

Speaker 6 (41:13):
Of people do in middle school. I feel like blasting
yes and like it's it's nothing special.

Speaker 5 (41:20):
I mean usually that's sort of like the opening act
to anything like, but.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
This is on you, like you can't even go you
at this point, for two years of tolerating no action
in your Pikachu, you're missing fingering blasting. You're missing fingering blesting,
finger blasting, you're missing.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
The shocker, you're missing, you're missing a lot of different
Like Hansing, I don't think he's going to be putting
his finger in her asshole if he's not putting it
in her vagina.

Speaker 1 (41:42):
But you're missing yeah, yeah, by accident. But you know what,
maybe there's an issue, and you have to ask. You
have to have a really honest conversation with him and
see if there's a reason, See if he's had a
bad experience, or if he's had some woman give him
terrible feedback, or that he wasn't good at it, or
someone told me he wasn't.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
Good at it.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
You have to be very careful, but also be like, listen,
this just isn't normal. We've been together for two years.
You've never gone down on me, and you've never fingered me, Like,
those are two things that should happen before we even
have sex.

Speaker 5 (42:13):
Yes, I think, I mean, and I've now I feel
like I'm constantly bringing it up to the point where
I'm like, oh my god, I can't even bring this
up one more time because I feel like such a
weird pervert to ask for this very basic thing.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
You're not a pervert, though, you're not a pervert.

Speaker 5 (42:29):
How do I tell you something that should be obvious
from the jump?

Speaker 6 (42:32):
Also like lol to Rob low being.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
Now, have you have you shown him if you tried,
like showing him how you want to touch?

Speaker 1 (42:43):
How have you brought this conversation?

Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yeah, that's what That's what I want to know is like,
what is Like you said, you can't. I'm tired of
bringing it up. What is? What's the the dialogue? Let's here,
let's do a here. I'm going to play the part
of the guy that won't touch your vagina. Here we go.

Speaker 6 (43:00):
It's very realistic.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
This is this is the biggest stretch I've ever had
to do as an actor, by the way, right now,
so okay, we're going to do a little role play.
So you're unhappy? What tell me what?

Speaker 6 (43:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (43:13):
So essentially what I've said a couple of times is, hey,
don't know what the deal is with like, you know,
you never touching this area before, Like, I don't know
how you haven't done this before. And I've tried to
bring it up outside of the context of the bedroom

(43:33):
because I think it can be kind of scary and
I don't want to do it right after the fact
and be like that sucked because you didn't do X,
Y Z right.

Speaker 6 (43:42):
So I was trying to sort of bring it up
out of context.

Speaker 5 (43:45):
And say, you know, is there a reason that you
don't feel comfortable with this?

Speaker 6 (43:50):
Is there? Like do you have a traumatic thing in
your childhood? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (43:54):
So you've said that, You've said you've said these things.

Speaker 6 (43:57):
Yeah, yeah, totally.

Speaker 5 (43:58):
And it's just I'm kind of not getting a response.
And I don't know if it's because.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Wait, what does he give me? Give me my dialogue
in this role play? You say you're kind of not
getting a response. What is he what's my dialogue? What
am I saying to you?

Speaker 6 (44:13):
Well?

Speaker 2 (44:13):
I don't know, man, I just okay, I mean what's
the non response? What does he say? What does he
have to say for himself?

Speaker 5 (44:20):
It's pretty much a lot of that, A lot of
the I don't really know. And you know, I asked
him if he did that with a former partner and
he was like, oh, maybe incidentally.

Speaker 6 (44:31):
Incident like oops, I tripped kind of thing.

Speaker 5 (44:34):
I'm like, would you fall down and you have to
grab her pubes to get up again?

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Exactly? So I was saying, fell down into her vagina?

Speaker 6 (44:41):
Tell me about it.

Speaker 5 (44:42):
So so yeah, I also am like, my heart goes
out to the guy because I would need a place
to put my hands, Like I'm bored here, I'm just
sitting here.

Speaker 6 (44:51):
I gotta do something. I gotta honk something or grab something.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
I just don't understand how you've gone two years with
like this, this is so weird, it's so straight, Like
this is on you. You have to break this cycle
and like you have to have a serious conversation with
him in broad daylight and be like, listen, this isn't normal.
Sex between two people should be like examining each other's bodies,
cherishing each other's bodies, wanting to touch every single part

(45:17):
of it. That's what sex is. I've never been in
a relationship like this. I thought something was wrong with me,
but now I have to put it on you. What
is your hesitancy? Are you scared? Did you have a
bad experience? Did someone give you bad feedback? Make it
so that he is available to talk to you and
answer questions that maybe could reveal the reasoning behind it.

(45:38):
Do I have a smelly vagina? I mean you don't,
but I'm just saying, like its put it out there. Well,
I think you would know if you had a smelly vagina.
I mean, there's not that far away from our nose.
But you know, I think you should really really you
have to, Like for every woman, you have to do this,
because what's he going to do when you break up
with him, go out with another girl and dissatisfy her?

(45:58):
For but I mean, I don't know anybody whould put
up with that for two years. I would have put
up with that for two weeks.

Speaker 6 (46:03):
I know, Well that's what was.

Speaker 5 (46:05):
And it's one of those things where, you know, the
longer it goes, and the longer it did go, the
more I was like, you know, because at first I'm
like Okay, a few weeks go by, a few months
go by, I'm like, all right. Maybe it's just because
there is the occasional encounter that happens even.

Speaker 6 (46:21):
With normal people.

Speaker 5 (46:22):
With my other normal partners, there's been encounters where it's
been like, oh, we just skipped straight to the main event,
and you know, it's it's quick and whatever, and things
just happen.

Speaker 6 (46:33):
But it's never only been that, and.

Speaker 5 (46:39):
I actually like burst out and I wish I gave
Rob his you know, better feedback, better lines. But you know,
there was a point where we were out to dinner
with friends and he was making a lot of like
sexual jokes and like being silly about you know, just
like crass humor, and I was like, okay, dude, like enough,
you know, it got to a point where I was
so fed up.

Speaker 6 (47:00):
I was like enough, I mean, if you're gonna make.

Speaker 5 (47:03):
Jokes like that, then you can't be scared to touch
my vagina.

Speaker 2 (47:07):
Yeah, hell ya, hell yah.

Speaker 3 (47:09):
If you get the answers to these questions and there's
no like underlying trauma or whatever, I think looking forward,
like you need to put the onus on what's gonna
happen from here. So it's like I need more before
we get to the main event, to be turned on,
to be excited, to enjoy this. And so next time
we're in bed together, let's try this. I'm gonna show

(47:29):
you some moves and like we're gonna start experimenting for
like the next six months to like get where we
need to be in terms of like this not just
being penis and vagina sex, which is like such a
limited window of what sex is, I know, because are
you having orgasms?

Speaker 6 (47:43):
I mean rarely?

Speaker 1 (47:45):
Oh overall you need to be having orgasms like that? Yeah,
oh god, what a conundrum. But I blame you well,
I mean you've been like putting up with this. You
have to think about something. When you do something like this,
you are doing it on behalf of all women. You
accepting this is saying this is okay for all women.

(48:07):
That's how I want you to think about this.

Speaker 6 (48:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (48:09):
And if I had a friend come to me and
say this, I would be saying the exact same thing.

Speaker 6 (48:14):
Like, there's no way anybody should put up with this.
It's ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
And you can offer, you can offer and say, listen,
if you want to go to like a sex therapist
if you want, if you need to talk to someone
about it, I'm totally down to do that with you.
But like, good idea this, we have to figure out
what the problem is. You have to address it.

Speaker 5 (48:31):
Yeah, yeah, And I mean again, like for a while,
I was thinking, oh, it's gonna happen. It's gonna like
obviously it's going to happen, Like there's there's no way
he doesn't know to do this, And the time just
kept ticking on with nothing happening, and it just got
weirder and weirder, to the point where now I'm on
a podcast telling people a dark, disgusting stuff.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
I know, I know, can you imagine I mean, obviously
we won't show your face on this podcast, but can
you imagine if we did? Oh my god?

Speaker 6 (48:58):
Oh yeah, well that's the thing.

Speaker 5 (49:00):
I mean, all my friends know, like I said, and
they all think I'm nuts.

Speaker 1 (49:04):
Well, yeah, they can't respect him.

Speaker 6 (49:06):
Oh yeah, I mean that's the thing. They're like, what
the hell? You know?

Speaker 1 (49:10):
You need to get your pussy ETN. Sorry to be
so crass, but it's time. It's time to get somebody.
You need to go. I honestly think, I mean, this
sounds like a lost cause to me. Unfortunately. Do you
tell each other you love each other?

Speaker 5 (49:22):
Oh yeah, because it's been some time, you know, and
he's got redeeming qualities, but this ain't one of them.

Speaker 6 (49:28):
Girl.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
No, you're gonna have to sit down and talk to him,
and you're gonna need to do it quickly, and then
we're gonna need a full report.

Speaker 6 (49:34):
Hey, you know I will, my god especially.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
And you can always call in with him. You can
always you can always call in with him.

Speaker 2 (49:41):
Yes, I mean that would.

Speaker 6 (49:44):
Be ideal if I could just have.

Speaker 5 (49:46):
Like y'all and you know, Rob Low and Tow like
the old Smith.

Speaker 1 (49:51):
Yes, if you could call in with him, we'll have
We'll make sure Rob Low is back so we could
address this, so he has he has a straight man
here on his team. But yes, I really you need
to tell us what happens because he needs to explain himself.

Speaker 6 (50:04):
Oh you know, I will. There's a lot, a lot
to be explained here, But.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
I think I want you to write down on a
sheet of paper and stick it to your mirror that
every action I take is on behalf of all women everywhere.
I would take like that. You make different decisions, and
you make better decisions because what you would accept for
your sister, your mother, your niece, your best friend, you
would never accept for yourself, you know what I mean?

Speaker 6 (50:28):
Yeah, and this, yeah, it's read.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
I mean, I'm sorry I said that wrong, you know
what I mean. Yeah, but I said that, Oh yeah, great,
you got that right.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
I was like, I was like, wow, that's very profound.

Speaker 6 (50:42):
It was beautiful.

Speaker 5 (50:44):
But yeah, now I'm I'm down to do the experiment
and see what happens, because yeah, it's it's been a
long road of like a very shaped like Pikachu, and
you know, we're just out here.

Speaker 6 (50:56):
I'm thirty three. I mean, things aren't.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Don't waste a minute with this guy unless you can
figure out what his issue is. Give us an update
in like two weeks. It actually could be fun to
have a discovery session with him and imagine how much
like improvement he could he could gain and how much
growth there could be Yeah, from zero right, like it
could be a huge but but he has to be
ready to get down to business. So so go have

(51:20):
the conversation and please report back, you know, I will. Okay, great,
thank you for calling. Thanks. What does that mean? What
does that mean?

Speaker 2 (51:30):
Rob?

Speaker 1 (51:30):
What does that mean when a man doesn't go down
on a woman or finger her? What is that? I
I Well, you're gonna have to come up with something wrong.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
I think some guys these days are like growing up
with porn as they're sort of like, this is what
sex is, which is mostly just like wailing away at
some woman who's pretending like she's enjoying it. There's not
a lot of like female pleasure involved in most porn.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
Wow, you know what that? I mean, that's as good
answer as any right, I mean it Aukham's razor. If
the most obvious answer is usually the answer is that what.

Speaker 1 (52:06):
Is Okham's razor?

Speaker 3 (52:07):
Again, the simplest answer is probably the right one.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
It's like the opposite of a conspiracy theory. That's right,
yea right, Okay, We're going to take a break and
we're going to be right back with mister Rob Low
and we're back with Rob Low to wrap up today's episode.
It was a double whammy episode. We were on Rod's

(52:33):
Rod Rod's podcast literally rod Low, rod Low, rock Hard
rod Low, and then we went over to Dear Chelsea.
It was a double whoopsiedoodle. I'm Catherine. How shall we
close out the show today? Well, I have one more question.

Speaker 3 (52:52):
It is a bit of a quickie, like the emails,
a little long, but it's juicy.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
But then okay, pretty quick response, Dear Chelsea. I would
love your opinion.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
And as a woman who understands the complexities of friendship
as a former party girl, my closest friend of twelve years,
Abby stopped speaking to me after I tried to have
an intervention for her when I went through my divorce.
She was there for me in every way and always
had my back emotionally. She's wonderful advice and always there
to listen. After moving to her city, though I saw

(53:20):
the darker side of her life, heavy drinking, cheating on
her husband, very reckless behavior, and manipulation to most people
in her life. Before I saw all this firsthand, I
was always there to support her.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Listen. Marriage is tough, life is hard.

Speaker 3 (53:33):
No judgment right wrong. She would drive her kids in
the car while drinking and take advantage of everyone around her,
manipulation for financial favors, you name it, and she hit
it all behind a facade of success as a sweet
and smiling teacher. Her behavior affected my life too.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
She slept with my boss, crashed.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
A large work event, humiliated me in front of his wife,
and constantly made me feel like I had to clean
up her mess and I did. She'd even leave before
the check came out restaurants, expecting me to cover the bill.
When I started standing up for myself, things grew tense.
Everything went to shit when I planned an intervention for
her and she cut me off. Now I'm left questioning
if I'm a terrible friend for not setting boundaries sooner,

(54:13):
or if I'm just codependent. What does it bother me
if others think I'm the bad guy? Am I wrong
for trying to set up an intervention for a friend,
or should I be relieved that she's no longer in
my life? Best bridget oh, and she says, I truly
want to grow from this experience.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Best Now, you did the right thing. I think you
did the right thing. I've had an intervention that didn't
go well. That person is no longer in my life,
and my life without her is much better. She couldn't
accept what we were saying. She couldn't understand what we
were saying. I've had many interventions in my life with people,
and every one of them has been great and understanding
and fruitful, and those people have all ended up on

(54:49):
the other side and they've all gotten sober. This person,
it wasn't really about alcohol and drugs. It was more
about their life and life choices and the negative impact
they were having on everyone. And she's not in my
life and you did nothing wrong. That behavior is very
toxic and you should be grateful that she's not in
your life. Period. That's all you can do is try

(55:11):
to tell somebody the truth that if they don't want
to hear it, then they're not going to hear it.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Yeah, one hundred percent agree with that sentiment and have
the same experience I've I've been a part of many interventions,
and I don't know half of them do not end well,
and usually that person continues on the path and I
moved on and those people aren't in my life anymore,

(55:35):
and there's nothing I just think that interventions have a
I think people go into them maybe thinking that there's
some sort of guarantee of success or that the odds
are in your face. It's not about that, it's not
about any of that. Interventions are about you going in
and stating your piece in a way that you can
live with yourself. If she kills those kids drunk driving,

(56:00):
mm hmm. Absolutely, that's what it is.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
That's when you're putting other people at risk with your
decision making. That justifies an intervention. Justifies an intervention. You're
thinking about other people. It's not you being judgmental, it's
you worrying about her driving around drunk with your kids. No,
absolutely not.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
Yep, you're better off without her.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Yeah, and hopefully one day she'll come to you know,
come to Jesus, or she'll have her come to Jesus
moment and get her shit together. And in that case,
and especially when she has the reaction that she had,
then she's not able to hear you. Period. Some people
are just not in the place where they can hear you.
That doesn't mean they're God forever, It just means that
they're not there yet. So you did the right thing
and just move on. With grace and be happy that

(56:40):
you know you don't have to bear the burden of
her friendship right now or worry about her decisions.

Speaker 2 (56:45):
Ditto.

Speaker 1 (56:46):
I mean, Rob, this has just been what a pleasure
as always Rob, always Rob. Next year we need to
ski together. Okay, you take that in a goal of ours.
Are you going to come? Why don't you come to
Whistler and we can ski together. That way, one of
us will already be here, so that's the only moving
part will.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Be you right. No, I'm in Worsters, as you know,
it's one of my favorite places in the world to ski.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
And find a job in Vancouver, and then you come
up here for the weekend and we'll ski together. Because
I would really like to see what's happening with your skiing.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
I'm telling you, go to Do you have TikTok, Chelsea?

Speaker 1 (57:20):
Yes, of course I have TikTok.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
Rob. Go to my TikTok and look at my postings.
You get to scroll down just a little bit, okay,
and you're going to see one of the sickest, sickest
powder runs I was ever I've ever done it.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
Alta, I'm going right now, I'm going to look right
now everybody else go to TikTok to see Rob lows ski. Okay, well, Rob,
that was great. You're you're a treat. I love how
open and ridiculous you are. And I see you at
some time in person before we ski or you know,
when we ski. Whatever. I'll take whatever I can get.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
I love it. And this I loved. Thank you for
being on literally and yes, and this, this little like
crossover event was super cool.

Speaker 1 (58:05):
Yes, you guys can catch Rob's podcast is Literally and
you can also catch up on his first three seasons
of his hit game show The Floor, which is on Hulu.
Thank you so much, Rob.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
Thank you for your great day.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Okay, bye, guys. Do do Do Do Do do drum
roll Catherine please and abroad broad is my European tour.
So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I
need to get the health out of this fucking country
and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm

(58:38):
coming to Rekkuvik, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to
the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May
and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona,

(58:59):
and I'm coming abroad. Is abroad that sounds like fun.
I'm going to go see you abroad. I know I
want to go see me abroad and there there all be,
there all be excellent. Okay. My remaining dates for Vegas,
there are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming

(59:20):
and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing
my residency on July fifth. We will be the next
date that I'm there, July fifth, August thirtieth, and then
November one and twenty ninth. November one and November twenty ninth,
I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing
inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the

(59:42):
Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you. Do you want
advice from Chelsea?

Speaker 3 (59:47):
Right into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine law And be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com