Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea. Okay, Catherine, what do we got today?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Well, today we have a fabulous returning guest, one of
our favorites.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
It's Monica Lewinsky.
Speaker 4 (00:10):
Okay, ladies, Hello, Hi Monica Lewinsky. Welcome back to the show.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Chelsea. Thank you so happy to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Always happy to see your smiling face. I was recently
on your podcast, which is called Reclaiming Everyone, which is
a fabulous new podcast that Monica launched with Wondery, which,
by the way, you have the nicest podcast studio that
I've ever been in.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
Oh, thank you.
Speaker 5 (00:32):
It is actually the Amazon Music studio podcasty Things, So
not my design yet, but one day I'll have a set.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
So okay, well whatever they hooked you up. It was yes,
it was sweet. I was like, this is a nice setup.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
Yeah, we call that the Good Room. I'm like, we
have to have the good Room for Chelsea. I loved
having you. Thank you so much for coming on. I've
heard from people friends of mine from around the world
how much they loved your conversation and are big fans
of yours.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Oh well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I mean, I'm really happy for you in this phase
of your life that you're in right now, because I
think the podcast is so emblematic of who you are
from what I know of you, and you're having really meaningful,
cool conversations with people. And it is called reclaiming because why.
Speaker 5 (01:18):
So in many ways it's both personal to me and
I think the way that I see the world in
this sense of like the kind of narrow definition of
reclaiming is to get back something that was lost or
taken from you, and I've had that experience personally, Like
they're big reclaiming. So for me, my reclaiming my voice
and my narrative after having lost it twenty seven years
(01:42):
ago was a big thing. But there are so many
ways and so many elastic definition or I guess what's
a better way to say it. It's like I like
to use an elastic definition in the show. So it's
really I feel like I could sit down and have
a conversation with anybody and there will be a threat
of reclaiming in there, because they're big ones and little ones.
(02:04):
And I really see it in some ways as in
that wave that mindfulness came in and we all started
to sort of look at our world through a lens
of mindfulness. I think reclaiming is like modern trauma. I
think reclaiming is sort of one of those things that
we're going to be thinking about and seeing our world
(02:24):
through that lens a bit more of this idea of
what are the steps to try to pull something back in.
Whether it's big or for me, I don't know about
either of you. I have really bad road rage, so
like it's a reclaiming for me when I call someone
a fuck face, but then I don't flip them off.
I'm like I told my combat I found my center again.
(02:46):
You know, especially La, you have to be careful now
like someone I think the other year someone had a
gun pulled on them on Sunset and Crescent Heights.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
That's crazy.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
I have rage about temperature.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I have rage about it, like the temperatures of like
refrigerated items.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
When I get something out of.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
A refrigerator that's not my own, because all of my
refrigerators are set to thirty four degrees fahrenheit. That is
as cold as you can pretty much make it, and
that's the temperature I like when I go into a refrigerator.
I just did this here in this podcast studio. It
was a fucking medium warm, like a tiny bit cold
diet coke.
Speaker 4 (03:23):
There's nothing grosser than that, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
And if you don't have fully cold beverages, because obviously
you have to replenish them, they can't always be cold,
then there has to be ice close by. I fucking
hate I have temperature rage hate. I hate medium like
cold drinks that aren't like cold, like I want condensation
on the outside of the glass, you know what I mean.
(03:47):
I need to see I need to see the cold.
I need to see the temperature before I have the drink.
Even if someone's bringing me a cocktail in a restaurant,
if there's not the right amount of ice in the cocktail,
I already know I'm.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
Gonna have to send it back.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
And I mean I have to be high maintenance in
that way because I just need to be pleased just
that way. Temperature pleasing. Yes, yes, yes, it's same. When
I sleep, it has to be at sixty eight degrees.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Sixty eight. That's I'm sixty eight girl.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
What do you what? What temperature do you sleep in?
Speaker 6 (04:18):
Like?
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Thirty is what I would like. Yeah, that's what I
would like, But I mean I can have it. I
like I like bundled old with blankets, lots of blankets.
Speaker 7 (04:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
When I'm in Whistler, sometimes I have I put like
even in the dead of winter, I will open the
windows and part of the house so that I am
for areezing. And then I wake up in the middle
of the night to pee and I'm in my broad
underwear and I'm like yeah, and then I get back
into that cold you know, that little den, that snuggle den,
and I just love wrapping up myself up and lots
of lots of lots of blankets.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
It's the best.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
You know what sleeping game changer for me without batteries
is a like a heating path has been a really
big game changer. Just you know, they turn off after
two hours. But it's like a little cuddle. You know.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
You can put it on your tummy, put it on
your head.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
It doesn't get you too warm, because if you like
to sleep in thirty degrees, I know that.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
But I keep it on low and it just I
don't know the one I have. It just somehow feels
nurturing and it calms me down.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
Well. Heating pads tend to feel that way, that's true.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I got one of those air conditioning mattress pads where
basically you can adjust the temperature.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
To heat or cool.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So because Doug, my dog won't sleep in bed with
me because he has so much furs, so he gets
so hot. So I was like, maybe if I put
this on full blast, he can sleep on the cold
next to me, because you can do it for either side.
So I'm going to try that when he comes back.
Right now, he's vacationing in Canada, so once I once
I retrieve.
Speaker 4 (05:46):
You know, Doug is a jet setter.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
He's trying to smooth things over with Canada while we WERENA.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Well, he did very well with the election, So.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Thank you, thanks so much, thank you, Doug.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
It's so funny you mentioned that though, because somebody I've
never heard of that air conditioning mattress thing, and someone
just mentioned it last night to me.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
So I feel like the universe is telling me to
get one.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Well, they have those fans that like go right under
your covers and like blow right at you. I haven't
tried one of those, but I'm like, I think maybe
I need one of those.
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Ye fan under your covers.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah, it's like got a little nose that goes under
your covers and then.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Oh, I have a ceiling fan, so that helps me too.
I need a ceiling fan on I need multiple I
need rain machine, my sound machine on my phone. Then
I need an overhead ceiling fan, and then I need
air conditioning or a window open.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Right, Yeah, that sounds pretty good.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
What do you fall asleep to? Do you listen to
a noise machine at all? No?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
You know it's funny.
Speaker 5 (06:40):
So my my niece and nephew have now started sleeping
over and they use a sound machine, and I can't
sleep with the sound machine.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I don't know what's walk with me.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
So so what are you doing putting on beats headphones
when you go to sleep?
Speaker 5 (06:53):
No, I just I basically sleep for twenty minutes and
then wake up panicked. Anyway, like, is everybody okay? So
everyone still sleeping? Are they so in bed?
Speaker 8 (07:01):
You know?
Speaker 5 (07:01):
So I don't have a sound machine, but I do
love Actually, my favorite, my probably best sleep is when
I'm at the ocean, so when I can hear the
waves crashing all night long.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's my sound machine for a while,
where waves crashing. And then I moved to rain, and
then I moved to thunder and actual thunderstorm.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
I like it.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
I'd like to be How have it be as disturbing
as possible while love saving?
Speaker 4 (07:29):
Yeah, slightly afraid. So, Monica, what are some of the things.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I mean, You've had some really interesting people on that
you've interviewed on Reclaiming, your new podcast, So what are
some of the things that you've learned that have been
inspiring to you from some of these guests?
Speaker 5 (07:43):
Oh my gosh, every conversation, I think I have had
a moment where I've either set out loud or thought
inside wow, you know, whether it's a moment of someone
sharing a moment of vulnerability that I think I hadn't
expected to see or feel. I interviewed someone yesterday who
told me a story of how they had torn a
(08:06):
muscle performing on stage, and there was an article the
next day saying they were drunk on stage, Oh my god,
instead of like even understanding that she was in pain front.
And so those kinds of stories that people have to
even though that doesn't sound like a quote unquote reclaiming story,
they're part of these, I think bigger narratives that we're
(08:26):
seeing of what people go through and how they just
sort of get back up the next day. You know
and move through something. So I'm not sure that I
haven't had enough coffee yet.
Speaker 4 (08:38):
But no, no, no, no, no, no, I understand.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I mean it's a large quote, it's a broad question,
and it's hard to always like pinpoint everything, but it
is an interesting medium to kind of be in, right,
like interviewing people, learning how to interview people learning, like
the conversations that you're having, and like the meaningfulness behind
those conversations. You know what people are revealing, and I
think like obviously podcasts right now are one of like
(09:02):
the biggest number one ways people are listening and getting
their information, you know, especially if they want to like
bow out from the news.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
So what are some of the podcasts that you listen to?
Speaker 5 (09:12):
Well, I love your podcast, but I want to go
back to something for a second from when you were on,
because I had a question for you. We had what
felt like a really meaningful exchange around motherhood, not wanting motherhood.
I was asking about if you thought from you were
sharing about with your brother and stuff, And later on
(09:34):
I realized that was I doing to you the thing
that just in a different version of trying to find
a way that yes, you actually maybe secretly did want kids,
but here was this reason, there was this reason why
you didn't did.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
That feel that? Did it feel that way to you?
Speaker 4 (09:49):
As not? Okay?
Speaker 3 (09:50):
So I don't know you an apology?
Speaker 4 (09:52):
No, please? Are you kidding me? Not at all. I'm
not like that at all. Things go go in one
ear and out the other.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
And I take it a very little personal a even
if it's personally directed on me, I still don't take
it personally.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
I'm pretty good at that.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, No, I mean I think we all have to
get a little bit better at that. It would be
a nice, much more sat a much more sane way
to live. I know that I'm saying or when I
pay attention less to what people are saying, But I
think it's always very interesting, Like you know, it's it's
such a privilege right to be able to have these
kinds of conversations, to be making a living and you know,
talking to people about things that are interesting to you. So,
(10:30):
I mean, what better platform to be able to get
up every day and bitch about the temperature of ice
or a bitch about the temperature of my diet coke.
You know that I shouldn't be drinking in the first place.
I was just thinking about the gym at my hotel
that I stay in New York. Like I walked in
this morning and the lights were so bright, right, and
I was like, oh God, And so I texted my
(10:51):
contact at the hotel. I'm like, is there any way
we could just dim the lights in the gym? Like
it's part of a there's a there's a hotel part,
and then there's a residency part, okay, and they're like,
so it's used for both, right, And I was like,
it's just very fluorescent and very early.
Speaker 4 (11:06):
It's like, I don't think anybody likes this, and there's
like fifteen people in the gym.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
And then manager text me actually was actually, we've had
requests to turn the light up. And I'm like, well,
is there a time where I can go in where
the fucking light is off?
Speaker 9 (11:19):
Like?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
The are the these are the things that I'm sitting here.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
And I was like, I can't wait to get on.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
A podcast today and bitch about all these things I
always forget and I want to know who's with me
and who's not with me. So I thank you for
the audience today, Monica, because you get.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
To hear that I'm with you, girl, I am with you.
Speaker 5 (11:34):
It's so funny because probably a big overshare, but I
don't know why I was randomly thinking about someone I
had dated a long time ago. Then it was we
reconnected after probably over like he'd been married and had
kids and everything in between. And it was great because
the tables had sort of turned where I was kind
of more into him before and now he was more
(11:55):
into me on this date and and we ended up,
you know, spending part of the night together. And when
he was leaving, I was like, oh, I'm going to
do that confident girl thing where I'm going to like
walk him to the door naked, and I totally forgot that.
The lighting in the entryway in this little studio I
was living in in New York at the time was terrible, horrendous,
(12:19):
and I literally saw the look on his face change
and the invitation for him to cook me dinner when
I got back from my trip like never material Oh no,
I mean it was.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
It was that bad where I could have an overhead
lighting overhead lighting, but it was also kind of fluorescent,
and it was just it's the worst I've seen cellulate
on my forehead under overhead lighting. Literally, I've seen things
that I'm like that can't possibly true truly exist on
my body. There's no way that exists. I mean, whoever
(12:49):
came up with overhead lighting? I dated a hotel ya once,
Andre Blange, and he explained to me, who doesn't He
explained to me the beat.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
I mean, he understood. He's a spretsatura it tastes maker.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
He knows how to make every place really warm, and
like he makes good hangs, you know, hangout spots.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
But he explained to me why you never.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Have over ahead lighting in any house unless it's a chandelier,
you don't. Ever, you always have side lighting, always have sidelighting.
So at my new house there is very little overhead lighting.
It's all on the side.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Oh interesting.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Yeah, I was told if you have overhead lighting that
the light needs to go up, that there sort of
needs to this sconce needs to kind of hold the
bulb in a.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Way so that it doesn't it's not putting down like
a can light. It's or it's diffuse somehow.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
That's a really disappointing story though, that you just shared
from someone.
Speaker 4 (13:39):
I mean, that really sucks. Sorry, that's horror lighting.
Speaker 5 (13:44):
Yeah, I've had way worse you know, but but it
was one of those It's just so, I mean, it's
just random because I think that happened maybe ten years
ago and I was just thinking about it this morning.
So good haunts you, yeah, all the ways, and we try,
I think, as women, to try to heal and grow
and maturity, evolve all those things. It's like, at least
(14:08):
for me, I find I'm I try things on like, oh, okay,
I read about this thing or so and so told
me this story, and so I'm going to see if
that works for me. And it's like I'm going to
be the confident girl who just you know, walks over
to the door naked, and it you know, didn't work.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
It didn't quite ban out. Now that's okay. It's good
to know.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It's good to edit those people out of your life,
no matter how they get edited out, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
That's okay.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
What we did talk about when I was on your
podcast was it felt like you were really curious about
my relationship with my nieces and nephews and how to
kind of not replicate that, but how to have that
be more of I mean, it is a pretty big
character in your life already, your niece and nephew, right,
m hmm, yeah, yeah, but you and we discussed that
(15:01):
I'm someone who's never wanted children. You actually did want
children and you don't have children. But we were talking
about focusing and what it does, what it means to
be president and children's lives without being a mother. So
how is that working for you with your niece and
your nephew. How do you see your role in their life?
Speaker 5 (15:20):
They bring so much joy, so much joy to my world.
And I think it was I imagine you felt this way
most people do. It is a shock the moment they're born,
even though you haven't birthed them. It was, oh, I
will get in front of a bus for this human
being like our four, you know, or our ten that
(15:42):
is already now an establishment. There is just this deep
love and bond and I hope and I think I
am a safe place for them to come and just
kind of get loved up. You know. I think that
that's but also, you know, set boundaries in different ways
encourage They're both so creative and really different and extraordinary children.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I just feel so I feel so lucky.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
And probably the best thing I did as an auntie
is get car seats. So that allowed me to have
my own relationship with them, and you know, I get
to help out a little. It makes it a little
easier in moments for my brother and sister in law.
But more importantly for me is I think we just
(16:32):
developed our own routines. We develop our own experiences together
that I know I look forward to and they look
forward to too. So it's very special. And now, as
I said, they you know, spend the night on occasion,
and like they each have their own little nest in
my bedroom, and you know, there's the routine of that,
which which is great. And then you know, by eight
(16:54):
thirty the next morning, I'm like, okay, fine, you know
under paycakes, Bye bye me.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
So I speak about these three girls in my book
that I call them Poopsiehoopsie and Oopsie in my book,
and I'm able to apply this more to them than
I am to my nieces and nephews. Although I do
judge my nieces. I have more my nephews than my nieces.
I have a lot of more latitude for women, obviously,
but I really think like the lack of judgment, I
think is such an important thing to bring to the
(17:24):
table with relationship to children so that they can come
to you with anything. And I know in my experience
with the three girls that are in my life that
I talk about in my last book, they will and
have told me they feel, you know, like, they will
tell me anything, whether it's drug related, guy related, sex related.
They will come to me with anything, and I never
and for some reason, I'm able to reserve judgment with
(17:46):
regard to these three people in my life. And I
feel like that is something as a child that every
child needs, right, They need someone that they can tell
anything too, that there are no repercussions and there's and
there's just no shame put on them because it's so
important to be able to just share stuff without being judged.
And I'm a pretty judgmental person, like I have to
(18:08):
work very hard on my judgment. I judge people all
the time, so when I can really like one of
them said to me, she wrote me this birthday thing
and said, oh, you know, it's so funny.
Speaker 4 (18:17):
I could tell you anything.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I could tell my I know, I could say, she
calls me father, She goes, I know, I could tell
my father anything. I always tell you, you know, there's
no judgment blah, blah, and it just made me feel like, oh,
that is okay, that's something to focus on, you know,
something that's been pointed out, and I want to get
better at that. With all of my relationships children and adults.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
Yeah, I mean, I have a very I've always had
a very close relationship with one of my aunts, my
mom's sister, my aunt Debbie, and I back when I
was in my early twenties and was getting going to
or needed to get a termination procedure and an abortion Harvey
when I call it, I told her before I told
(18:58):
my mom. You know, I didn't tell my mom until
the night before, but my aunt felt like that safe
space between a sister and a mom. And I have
had different relationships. I have two other aunts, one of
whom passed away, but that I've had, you know, different
relationships with and more feel connected to both of them
through aspects of myself that I see in myself. The
(19:20):
artistic one is an artist and the one who passed
me jewelry, and so I think that I see parts
of them in me from that and so and in
my formative memories from my formative years too.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Did you have aunts growing up?
Speaker 4 (19:36):
Yes, I have an aunt that I'm pretty close to.
She lives in California.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I have a whole set of cousins that live in
La So I'm very close with that side of my family.
Speaker 4 (19:45):
And my aunt is my.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Yeah, she's who I lived with when I moved out
here when I was nineteen years old, and told me
that I would have to lose weight if I ever
wanted to become famous. And she then she denied that
she ever said those words, and then we found it
on in an act. She I would say a year
after year after your after I became successful, I'd be like, see,
you told me that I had to lose weight if
I ever wanted to become famous. She was I never
said that. I never said that. And then we found
(20:08):
the actual footage on video of her saying it to me,
and my co Molly put it together and send it
on our family thread and was like, yeah, here, Mom,
this is exactly what you said to Chelsea. By the way,
Yeah exactly.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
Oh. I was like, yes, you fucking said it.
Speaker 5 (20:25):
Yeah, it's just but I think there is something too
about the way ants. Like I think about when I
was in tenth grade and I wanted Duck Martins and
people weren't really wearing Duck Martins very much yet, and
I wanted to wear them with dresses, and people weren't
really doing that yet. And even my mom was like,
there's no way I'm buying you those shoes. And my aunt,
(20:47):
you know, took me and bought me the shoes on Melrose,
you know, I remember.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
And so it was. She just had a way of
and has a way. Still. We're still really close.
Speaker 5 (20:56):
I stay with her often when I'm in New York,
and you know, it's fun, it's great, but you know,
I think just the different ways that I think she
would see me, you know, and and also stretch those
boundaries a bit.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I saw my first R rated film with her, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
So Texas is the special relationship I remember growing I
had also I had one uncle.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
I had a couple of great uncles too, actually, but.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Yeah, it is a very special relationship because I think
about my nieces and nephews and they all have two aunts.
Between my sisters, the three of us there, and we're
all so different, you know, we all provide something completely different.
And on that note, we're going to take a break
and we'll be right back with Monica Lewinsky and we're back.
We're back with Monica Lewinsky. We're going to take some
(21:44):
emails or callers. Catherine, what do we have?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
We actually have three callers, so we're going to try
and get through, get to all three of them today,
and then if we have two extra minutes, I have
a quickie at the end, just an email. So our
first caller is Jewels and she is in DC. She says,
Dear Chelsea, thank you for all you do, your advocacy
and your light. Seeing you at the Kennedy Center will
always be one of my highlights. I'm a federal government
(22:09):
employee and it's really tough right now. I have lots
of anger, uncertainty, and resentment toward the current administration, my
agency's leadership, Americans who voted for what's happening right now,
and those who are misinformed about how awful it really is.
I literally cannot escape the news cycle. As I live
in DC, I work for the government, and since my
agency leadership has been silent, the news and Reddit are
(22:30):
the only ways to learn what's happening in my future.
I'm tired all the time for my new commute thanks
to the return to office mandate. I feel like I'm
bleeding money because of all these extra costs I didn't expect, gas, lunches, dogwalker,
And on top of it all, we've been told that
quote no one is safe from a reduction in force.
My boyfriend says, I'm getting irritable, which I am.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Who wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
I'm on a contract where I can't quit the federal
government for another eight months without buying myself out, so
I know I'll be here until I'm fired or things settle.
The way things look, suppose my contract will terminate in January.
Do you have any advice on how to cope with
all this uncertainty and find joy in this chaos?
Speaker 3 (23:08):
Thanks for being such a light in these wild times.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Jules Hi, Jules, Hi?
Speaker 7 (23:13):
How are you?
Speaker 4 (23:14):
This is our special guest Monica Lewinsky today.
Speaker 6 (23:17):
Hi. Hello, how are you doing well? Thank you?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
How are your other colleagues dealing with this? Do you
work closely with a lot of other people?
Speaker 6 (23:26):
Like?
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Are there other people who are feeling the same the
same way that you're feeling?
Speaker 6 (23:30):
Yes, for sure, I think a lot of us, No
matter what like organization you're in, it's kind of the
same vibe.
Speaker 7 (23:37):
People are pretty down.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Yeah, I understand. I feel you.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I feel like you know, we can all relate to
feeling pretty down, especially now, regardless of what I mean.
Obviously you're in a different situation with a government job.
But I think the best way to so that all
of the stuff that you're putting into your brain is
not all related to what's happening with this administration is
is kind of a goal, you know, Like I start
my day either meditating or working out, without before I
(24:05):
listen to any.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
Podcast or the Daily or read my Politico.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Like, I just get up and I'm like, Okay, this
is going to be a good day for me.
Speaker 4 (24:14):
So whatever it takes to get you there.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
I mean, if you have to get up and read
a book for an hour to just put you in
a different place, I would suggest trying to like create
some different habits so that when you go into because
work is going to be work, and that there's going
to be people around you with that energy and everyone's
going to kind of be commiserating and that's fine while
you're there, but it shouldn't take over you. Like I
always think about negativity as a component of your life,
(24:39):
but don't let the negativity run you. You know what
I mean, so, what are some things that you can
do that will make you happier as a person. What
are some things that you know make you happier as
a person.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
I definitely try to make a separation when I get home,
And honestly, one of the sliber lightnings is this is
because we can't telework anymore. There now is like a
distinction of like working home. So when I do get home,
since I can't work, I do a workout, try to
get my mind off things to like have a reset,
do like walks things like that. So I do appreciate that.
(25:14):
I feel like I wasn't just like a slump, especially
for the first.
Speaker 7 (25:18):
You know months where I was just.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
Like kind of in my own like little cave. So
I'm emerging now to like do things that bring me
more joy, like seeing friends being more active. It's spring now,
so like just yeah saying hell sun is that?
Speaker 7 (25:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (25:33):
Totally no.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
I mean the season alone is a reason to be happier.
It's like it's more upbeat. Everything you're saying is great.
I think you should really like do that for yourself
as an assignment. You know, when there when an hour
or two goes by, when I don't think about the
administration or the government.
Speaker 4 (25:48):
That's a home run.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Like if I can get through an hour or two
and go to a dinner and it doesn't come up
and I'm not thinking about it, I'm like, Okay, mission accomplished.
It doesn't need to be ten hours of the day
that you're not thinking about it. You just need a
break from the constant.
Speaker 6 (26:01):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's really a point.
Speaker 7 (26:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
And also really try and find some books that you
can escape to. Like books to me are myself always Monica.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Do you feel that.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I mean, I think we've spoken about that, right, Yes,
how important it is to have. Like this is a
new book that I want to recommend. Also, it's called
The Mirror and the Palette. My friend gave it to me,
and it's fucking amazing. It's about female history and it's
all about like it's just such an inspiring Like every
time I read that, I choose to read that rather
than to watch the news or read the news. I
(26:31):
give myself an hour a day to read a book.
And since since this administration began, when I started to
get really.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Just immersed, immerse immersed immersed in.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
It, I was like, Okay, you have to do something differently,
and that's why I decided to do that.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
Every day.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I'm like, I have to read for one hour every day.
I'm not on my phone. I want to think about
something else. I want to have my brain stimulated in
a different way. So I think you just have to
really figure out what those things are. If you're not
a reader, force yourself to fucking read, like you will
get into it. Just find a book that's great and
you will get into it. Start with this book. It's
gonna be fascinating to any woman. So it's called The
Mirror in the Palette. But just really make sure you're
(27:07):
getting outside, you're getting in fresh air, you're doing you're exercising,
doing all the things, meditate, write down things that you're
grateful for. You know, there's a million things you can
do to lift your spirits, and those are all moodlifters. Monica,
do you have anything that you do to lift your spirits?
Speaker 4 (27:22):
I do.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
I don't know if this would resonate with you at all,
but I'm very impacted by the aesthetic of my environment
or pretty pretty things or cute things, just things that
make me smile, And so I will go out and
I'll get some new mugs. I know it sounds so dumb,
but it's like one of the things you're doing in
the morning is I'm making my coffee when I open
(27:43):
the cabinet and there's this, you know, a mug that
makes me laugh. I have one from La La what's
it called Laalas, and it's the Yellow Coffee place, and
they have this mug and it says, don't be a dick,
and so, you know, it's like it makes me laugh
and I think, just even it's such a tiny thing,
but after in particular or sparking joy, as they would
(28:03):
say of you know, I was at Disneyland recently and
I got a great mug from there to remind me.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
You know, so I just got a set of mugs.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Someone sent me a set of coffee mugs of me
skiing and my bikini with my dog on my back,
and I was like, oh my.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
God, what a great gift. So cute. You know.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Also, writing, if you're a writer spending an hour a
day writing, I would just seriously carve out an hour
of your day that's not socializing, that's not with anyone else,
that's doing something like specifically that feeds your soul and
it should be something whether it's like I mean, for
me it's a reading a book, but for whatever that
means for you to just really be diligent about that,
(28:42):
especially now when when when so much of our time
is taken up and attention is taken up with you
know what, I'd.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Also, do you have a bathtub?
Speaker 8 (28:51):
I do?
Speaker 5 (28:51):
Yeah, I would you know something that's maybe a little
less having to do because I might. I'm listening to
Chelsea and I'm like, Wow, you're so disciplined, Chelsea.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
So I'm so impressed by you.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
And I'm like, I'm lazy compared to that, or I
would figure out a way to not do that. But
I take baths a lot as a way to and
I make a ritual of it, and that sometimes can
can help to I mean, your mind can wander to
the dark places.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
But and just the idea of in saying to yourself,
repeating to yourself that you want to be positive, that
you want to be optimistic, you know, finding optimism in
the dark is a skill set like that we have
to we have to work on.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
And and fine tune.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
But it is an important quality and it's also contagious,
you know, when you can really find optimism within dark times,
you can also help other people feel better. So that's
something to think about as well.
Speaker 6 (29:43):
Thank you that that makes a lot of sense. I
didn't think of it in that light. So that's that's
a really good perspective. So yeah, I appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (29:52):
Okay, cool, Thank you so much for calling in.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
And stay strong, stay strong during this fucking fiasco we're
living through.
Speaker 7 (30:00):
Well, thank you. Thank you for your time and the advice.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
And if you want to cheer yourself up, you know,
all these judges are ruling against Trump every left right,
So there's that's joyful. George Santos is going to prison
for six years.
Speaker 4 (30:13):
That's fun. Yes, you know what I mean, there's some
good news happening.
Speaker 3 (30:16):
I didn't hear that news. When did that come out?
Speaker 4 (30:18):
Oh yeah, it came out the other day.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
He's got it sentenced to seven seven six or seven
years in prison.
Speaker 4 (30:23):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
I did a little PSA about it because I was
so excited about the good news. I was like I
could use some So, I mean, sure, Trump will probably
end a partying camp, but who gives a shit, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (30:33):
At this time there.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
There is a gal who's on TikTok. It's Amanda's Mild Takes,
which I think is a hilarious name on TikTok. But
she talks about like all the things that are actually
going right, So like take a look there. She she's
got some good stuff to say. Yeah, Amanda's mild Takes great.
All right, thank you so much, Jules, thank you, Hi, Jules.
Speaker 7 (30:53):
Bye.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
It's also a good reminder to sort of like leave
work at work, Like these are the sorts of things
I think that probably are or keeping her up at night,
and she's roiling about them. But you know, something that
helps me sometimes if there's like something stressful or I'm
like worried about something is saying like, oh, I'm off
the clock for that right now, whether it's like a
work thing, a family thing, whatever.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Like I actually don't need to be thinking about that
right now. I'm off the clock. I'm like it in
bett it's four in the morning.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Yeah, there is something nice to be like said about
being so divorced from your work like that you really
just don't care anymore about your job.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
It's just a paycheck.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Yeah, what I mean, it's better than having to bring
your work home with you, you know, because at this
point that's what it is, is a paycheck. How can
she be passionate about something that's being threatened, you know,
right right?
Speaker 4 (31:34):
Well, hopefully we were some help to her. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Yeah, no, I think that was very helpful.
Speaker 4 (31:38):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Well our next caller is Jeremy. He says, Dear Chelsea,
he's having a really tough time. I'm a forty three
year old gay man, and I've recently had the hardest
year of my life. A year ago, I lost my
dog of sixteen years. Two months ago I lost my mother,
who was my best friend, and three weeks later, my
partner of three years left me. I feel like I've
lost everything this year, no kids and no parents.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
How do I keep going? What's the fucking point? Jeremy?
Speaker 5 (32:05):
Hi?
Speaker 7 (32:05):
Hi, Jammy, Hey, not too bad? How are you?
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (32:09):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
This is our special guest Monica Lewinski's here with us today.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
Hi, Hi, Hi.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I'm so sorry to hear about all of the things
that you've lost.
Speaker 7 (32:20):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
While you want to honor obviously losing your mother, losing
your dog, losing your relationship, but I would say a
you got a good run out of that dog for
sixteen years.
Speaker 4 (32:32):
That's that's pretty incredible.
Speaker 7 (32:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
And how old was your mom when she passed away?
Speaker 7 (32:38):
She was only sixty five.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
Oh, so she was on the.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
Younger side yea. And were you able to be with
her when she died?
Speaker 6 (32:46):
No?
Speaker 8 (32:46):
And I think that's the hardest thing for me. Uh huh,
not being able to say goodbye.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
Right, Okay, Well, on that front, everything you're describing with
what's happening, I know you probably feel. I know how
you feel because you just in your letter, But I
want you to think about this as like a rebirth, you.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Know what I mean. Monica has a podcast called Reclaiming.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
We've been talking a little bit about Reclaiming before we
got on the phone with you. And anytime something like
this happens, where there's a run of events in your
life that leave you feeling more and more alone, I
truly believe it is a sign for you to wake
up and have a rebirth and reclaiming your life. And
it doesn't feel like that you want to do that
(33:32):
right now, But that's what this opportunity is. You're at,
not your rock bottom, because I don't really like that term,
but I know that's how you probably feel.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Is that an accurate assessment.
Speaker 7 (33:43):
It's pretty accurate.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
And I want to tell you this is not like
this is a This is a huge opportunity for you
to grow and for you to heal and for you
to grieve and all of those things can happen at.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
The same time.
Speaker 6 (33:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:58):
And so what are you doing to.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Take care of yourself during the situation, during this time,
and and like how are you getting through? Do you
have a therapist? Like what's your what's your process?
Speaker 7 (34:08):
Okay, yeah, I've been I'm even being with my therapist.
Speaker 8 (34:11):
I've been connecting with the nature as much as possible,
which is which seems to be helping.
Speaker 7 (34:16):
I'm going to Greece in a week for two weeks.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Great, that's really awesome.
Speaker 7 (34:21):
I'm trying.
Speaker 8 (34:21):
It's just you have these moments where you just feel
so lost and empty, you know, without my mom.
Speaker 7 (34:30):
That's the hardest part.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Well, I also want you to look at your mother
in a different way, like your mother's energy is not gone.
Your mother's energy is around you you. You feel free
to speak to her, feel free to talk to her,
feel free to know that she's coming to Greece with you,
you know what I mean, engage with her like she's
around you, because she is. I firmly believe that I
didn't feel my mother's presence. I felt my mother's presence
more after she died than I did when she was alive,
(34:53):
when we were separated, like when I was living in law,
New Jersey, Like I cultivated a relationship with her when
she died.
Speaker 4 (35:00):
That has been so meaningful to me. And you can
do the same exact thing.
Speaker 7 (35:04):
Yeah, Yeah, I'm really trying.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
To allow yourself to grief. It's okay, It's absolutely okay.
You've lost three really important people in your life. That
is massive, but it's also it's also an opportunity for
you to like look ahead and see how you want
to go through this grief and what you want to
do on the other side of it. What do you
want to accomplish? What do you want your life to
look like? Can you answer a couple of those questions?
Speaker 8 (35:28):
Yeah, I mean, I I want to be in a
loving relationship.
Speaker 7 (35:34):
I want to travel more.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
You're already doing that by going to Greece for two weeks.
Speaker 7 (35:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (35:39):
You know, one of the things I didn't tell you too, is,
you know, my mom had had a couple of strokes
that left are paralyzed for the past eight years, and
I was also her caretaker, which I think was also
hard for me because you know, I don't have children,
and I don't want children, and it was like the
universe gave me a child taking care of my mom.
(35:59):
And I'm so grateful I had that time with her
for the past eight years. But yeah, that was hard too,
is you know, that's also a huge loss, you know,
taking care of somebody for that long, and now I
don't have that either.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Right, So, but these are all things that you did
that you were wonderful to do. Being able to take
care of your mother is like, that's a privilege and
you were able to experience that. So instead of focusing
on the fact that you weren't there when she actually died,
focus on the fact that you were there so many
times before that. And saying goodbye doesn't mean anything because
you necessarily don't need to say You don't necessarily need
(36:34):
to say goodbye if you subscribe to the theory that
she's around you.
Speaker 4 (36:37):
And she's with you, you know what I.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Mean, say hello and bring her with you, talk to
her all day long, you know, especially during this breakup
that you're experiencing, Like you can talk to your mother
about this, and I assume that she's listening, because I
really believe she is. And know that this is a
period of time in your life and this is not permanent.
Speaker 7 (36:56):
Yeah right, You're absolutely right.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
This is a transition, and so just honor the transition
you're going through. But keep your eyes up towards the sky.
Don't be a victim, Like, don't lay down and go
I can't take any more.
Speaker 4 (37:09):
You can.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
You've taken all of this on and now it's time
to move through it and kind of lift yourself up
out of it. And I think this vacation degrease for
two weeks is going to be exactly what you need,
you know. I think that's going to be like use
that as a starting point, Like, Okay, this trip is
the beginning of the rest of my life. So how
do I want to live the rest of my life
(37:31):
and write down all the things that you want out
of life? Write them down, read them. Every single day
makes shit, you know, makes make this stuff happen. But
you know, you just want to change the channel and
you want to pick up the vibe a little bit
and that's going to happen on this vacation.
Speaker 4 (37:44):
I know what's going to happen for you.
Speaker 7 (37:45):
I really hope so Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
To use another tool from Chelsea's toolbox. Maybe you don't
call it a gratitude journal, but like writing down one thing,
even if it's only one thing every day that brings
you a small amount of joy, can help you remember that,
Like in every day there is even if it's like
this cup of coffee is so good, you know, as
many things as you come to throughout the day, writing
those down so that you have that to look back
(38:08):
on and have that present in your mind, like here
are things that bring me joy on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Another fun another is not fun, sorry, wrong word, but
another nice thing to do about someone when they've passed
away is to take time each day to honor that
person and to think of write down one of your
favorite memories or what your most meaningful interactions with your mom,
What either when she was dying or when you were young,
or something that happened growing up, whatever is meaningful, Like
(38:35):
if you take that time in the morning and do
that to honor her, and it's kind of a nice
way to help you get through losing someone you know
and re establishing what they meant to you and why
your relationship was so powerful and meaningful, you know. And
I think that's a great way to honor someone, and
that way you're kind of taking care of that first
(38:55):
thing in the morning, you know, or whatever time of
day you want to do it. You don't have to
spend your whole day grieving if you can really properly
grieve for like ten or fifteen minutes a day, do
you know what I mean?
Speaker 7 (39:06):
Yeah, I totally agree with that.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Yeah, me, is there a reason.
Speaker 5 (39:09):
Is Greece significant for you or did you have this
trip planned for a long time.
Speaker 8 (39:15):
I've been wanting to go, and me and my partner
are going to go, And when the deaf day after
we broke up, I was like, you know, fuck it,
I am going to Greece. The next morning, I was like,
I booked the trip. I planned everything out. It was
a good distraction for me for a week just planning
all the details. I also, I direct high school theater too,
(39:35):
and I we did Mam and Mia this year and
Greece was you know, mom.
Speaker 7 (39:39):
And me, it takes place in Greece. Yeah, yeah, so
we Uh, I was like, why not go to Greece?
Speaker 4 (39:45):
Fun? Where are you going to Greece?
Speaker 7 (39:46):
I fly to Athens and then I'm going to make
no st two nights, Perils for two nights, and then
Creep for six nights.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Oh fun, I'm going to all those places too.
Speaker 7 (39:56):
Really at the stage.
Speaker 4 (39:57):
For me, will you?
Speaker 7 (39:58):
I definitely will for sure.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
Set the stage for my arrival.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
But I'm glad you're taking this trip and I can
hear the sadness in your voice, and I just remember,
this is not a permanent situation. This is a moment
in time in your life and you're handling it well.
I'm glad you called in and I have very high
hopes for your future as as you should too.
Speaker 7 (40:19):
Thanks, Chelsea, I really appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (40:22):
Yeah, you're welcome. You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Have the best trip, Thank you, and go hook up
with some random guys.
Speaker 7 (40:27):
Okay, yeah that sounds good.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Okay, Okay, all right, thanks again, bye, Okay, take bear
bye bye bye.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
There's no better answer to when you're with someone and
they break up you with you or your relationship ends
and you take the trip anyway, That's always the answer
is to go on the trip anyway.
Speaker 3 (40:46):
Well, let's take a break and we'll come back with Home.
Speaker 4 (40:49):
Okay, great, Well we'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
And we're back with Monica Lewinsky, who is the host
of her new podcast called Claiming.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
So Jen is writing in the subject of her email
as ghosted for being pregnant, Dear Chelsea. I worked with
a woman for nearly seven years in a very grueling
and demanding workplace. Over the years, we became best friends.
She hung out with me and my husband, became an
aunt to our puppies, and was one of my closest confidants.
Once I left that workplace and she moved to another state,
(41:23):
we remained close friends. Instead of daily interactions, we had
monthly face times and visits every few months where we
talked for hours and catch up on life. I always
felt a bit like I was the one instigating the communication.
Speaker 4 (41:34):
At the time.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
She had a much larger circle of friends than I did,
so her time was definitely in high demand, but we
maintained a close friendship. Then last year I got pregnant.
She was so happy for me and even said she'd
be an aunt to my child. We had two planned
visits early that year that I had to cancel due
to a first bout of COVID and then in an
emergency VET stay for my pup. She said she understood,
(41:56):
and we continued our face times. I sent her an
invite to my baby shower and she replied that she
didn't make it but would be sending something.
Speaker 4 (42:02):
Well.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Nothing ever came, and I never heard from her again.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
I also didn't reach out because I was late in
my second trimester and had a scary car accident that
complicated my pregnancy. I was pretty hurt that she stopped
talking to me, especially knowing I was pregnant and dealing
with a lot. Now over a year has passed and
I have a beautiful baby girl. I still think about
this friend and wonder why she stopped talking to me.
I'm tempted to reach out sometimes to express my hurt
and seek an explanation, but then I think that a
(42:26):
friend who would ghost me during my pregnancy isn't a
friend worth having. I have since created a close knit
circle of friends locally that were so supportive during my pregnancy,
and now my life is a new mom But my
mind does come back to this friend frequently. Should I
reach out at least for closure or just move on completely?
And leave this former friend in the past. Sincerely, Jen,
Hi Jen, How are you?
Speaker 5 (42:46):
Hi?
Speaker 6 (42:46):
Hi?
Speaker 7 (42:47):
Good?
Speaker 4 (42:47):
How are you guys?
Speaker 1 (42:48):
That's our special guest Monica Lewinsky's with us today.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
Yeah, nice to meet you, Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
I would let it go. I would let the friendship go.
I would say, you kind of have your answer. You know,
some people don't really realy does this woman have any children?
Speaker 4 (43:02):
Sounds like she's single and child free, right single.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, some people just don't respond or react well when
their friends get pregnant, Like they don't want to be
in that scene. Like I've seen it happen, you know,
and I've seen it happen to friends and stuff.
Speaker 4 (43:17):
Like, some people just don't want to be involved in that.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
And if she really did care or was interested, you
would have heard from her at this point. Also, because
you said you have a nice circle of friends. I
would focus on that. I always like to focus where
the light is not. You know, you're not going to
get the answer that you're looking for. You know, no
one's going to say I didn't want to be friends
with you because you were pregnant, if that's even the reason,
(43:41):
you know what I mean, No one's gonna say that,
so you're kind of asking for something that you're not
going to get and you're just going to further your disappointment.
I would really just focus on your friends that you
have and just move on and if you ever hear
from her, great, But it's also not like worth a confrontation.
Speaker 4 (43:56):
That's what I think, Monica, what do you think?
Speaker 3 (43:58):
Well?
Speaker 5 (44:00):
I agree with you is on the focusing on your
circle of friends that you have now, which is great
because friends are so important, and I think as we
get older it can be harder and harder to cultivate
new friends, so you know, that's an important place to
put your focus. I think what came up for me
were my own experiences of difficulty when I some of
(44:23):
my closest friends got pregnant, and not that I necessarily disappeared,
but what it meant to be confronted with watching someone
I cared about get something that I didn't have and
that I really wanted, and that watching someone's life move forward.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
And so I just what I.
Speaker 5 (44:42):
Kind of wanted to interject into this is is maybe
holding some space for what she might be experiencing because
it may have and I know you're hurt. I hear
that's what you're saying. You clearly really care still about
this person, because you took the time to write this note,
and so I just I wonder what happens if you
(45:03):
just sort of open it up about not to dismiss
your feelings of having been hurt by what happened, but
by opening the perspective of if you try to step
into maybe a little bit of compassion for her. And
maybe I don't I don't know this person. Maybe she's
not very self aware, maybe she isn't in therapy. I
don't know, so I don't know how much she might
(45:24):
be able to see her own behavior as connected to that.
Speaker 4 (45:29):
Good point, Monica, very good point.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
I forget that, you know.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
So it just it just cause I've been I've been
that person. I don't know that I ghosted someone per se,
but I certainly pulled back, and sometimes it even felt embarrassing,
like I couldn't even say to that person, well, I'm jealous,
you know, that's all.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
I'm happy for you, but I'm jealous.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
And so I also feel like it could just be,
you know, with a couple of canceled visits, maybe she
felt like, oh, maybe Jenn doesn't have enough time for
me at this point in her life. I almost feel like,
like you said, maybe she's not super self aware. I
could see myself in this position just not having reached
out and like not realizing the hurt that I had caused, you.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
Know, so maybe there. I mean, if you do reach out, I.
Speaker 2 (46:15):
Wouldn't necessarily assume that she's upset with you or doesn't
want to talk to you ever. Again, I mean, if
you do feel like you need to reach out, I
would just kind of be cheerful and say hey, and
how are you?
Speaker 1 (46:25):
Maybe for her birthday without saying where you know, like
where have you've been from something?
Speaker 4 (46:31):
Right, yeah, a year ago?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Just reach out in a general friendly way, like, hey,
I was thinking about you, how are you?
Speaker 4 (46:36):
What's going on? That's kind of more, you know, I.
Speaker 5 (46:39):
Don't know about everyone else here, but I have And
I don't know how old you are. You look quite young,
so but I'm fifty one and at this point in
my life, I've now had friendships that ebb and flow,
and I've had every everything across the spectrum from you
sort of have to have the conversation in order to
move forward. And also one of my closest friends right
(47:02):
now we had a year or two where we didn't talk,
and my perspective of whatever it was, her perspective, we've
never really even had a long conversation about it, Like
we just re met each other in new spaces as
evolved people. And you know, so I think all those
things are possible. The older you get, you just realize
(47:23):
these things ebb and flow and yeah.
Speaker 9 (47:25):
Yeah, no, that's helpful, I think, I you know, I
am curious. And also at the time it was such
a meaningful friendship. Now that I have so much, my
life is so full, it's just overflowing with good things.
I don't necessarily feel like it has to be that
same thing if we were to reconnect, It doesn't need
to be this huge, tremendous, meaningful friendship. But there is
still value and care there for me clearly that the
(47:47):
hurt is still showing up. So yeah, that's that's helpful
to just reach out and do it friendly. And then
I guess also I worry if if she responds in
a way of yeah, let's pick things back up. I
think I'm a little more guarded now, you know, not
kind of jumping in feet first and throwing myself fully
back into a friendship.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
You also don't need as much from her at this point,
you know, right, Well, do you feel like you have
a path forward?
Speaker 3 (48:10):
John, Yeah, I think that's helpful.
Speaker 7 (48:13):
Thank you guys.
Speaker 4 (48:14):
Oh, thanks Jen, thanks for calling in.
Speaker 7 (48:16):
Yeah, thanks for having me. Thanks, take care.
Speaker 4 (48:20):
Okay, girls, we did it again.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
Another episode of Dear Chelsea wrapped up problem solve, left, right,
and center. Some serious phone calls today. I think we
handled it well girls. Monica, thank you. Everyone can tune
into Monica's podcast Reclaiming anywhere you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 4 (48:35):
It's a wondery podcast, though. I do want to shout
out wondery.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
And it's on YouTube too, right, it's on YouTube exactly.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Thank you, Yes, yes, yes, nice lighting on that podcast.
I have to say that, very nice lighting. I saw myself.
I was like, ooh, how do.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
We Yeah, it looked gorgeous, Darling.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Well, thanks for coming into studio even though I wasn't here.
Speaker 3 (48:53):
I know you owe me girl. Next year, Chelsea, you'll
be somewhere else, we'll be here. Well all we're pink
and perfect. Much love to you, love you, love you,
take care bye.
Speaker 4 (49:06):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
My remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for
this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in
Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on August thirtieth,
and then November one and twenty ninth. November one and
November twenty ninth, I will be in Las Vegas at
(49:29):
the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (49:37):
Do you want advice from Chelsea?
Speaker 2 (49:38):
Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And be sure
to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com