June 19, 2024 • 42 mins
In this capítulo, we relaunch our segment, Oye Locas, where we answer listener questions. In the later half of this episode, we each tell a story we've never shared on the podcast, involving the Junior Olympics and a Pride parade. How did one decision help shape us into who we are today? Tune in and find out.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Lokata Radio is a radiophonic novela.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Which is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm Fosa fem.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And I am ma la Munios. We're podcasting through another
Trump election year. We've been podcasting through election years, a
global pandemic, civic unrest, political controversies, the Me Too movement,
the rise of TikTok, and we are still here. We're
not done telling stories.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We're still making podcasts. We're older, we're wiser, We're even
podcasting through a new decade of our lives.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Since twenty sixteen, we've been making Loca to Our Radio
independently until we joined iHeartMedia's Michael Dura Network in twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
From our lips to your ears, fall in love with
Loka to a radio like you never have before.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome to Season nine, Love at First Listen.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Ola La Loka Morees. Welcome to see nine of lok
at Dora Radio. I'm Theosa and I'm ala. Look at
Otter Radio is a podcast dedicated to archiving our present
and shifting the culture forward. So today we are bringing
back an OG's segment oh yea Lokas where we answer
(01:19):
listener questions, so let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You are now listening to Oh Yas and I love
this first one because I think it's so relevant to us. Yes,
what advice would you both give to someone starting their
saturn return? Now, Dyosa. For the listeners who don't know
what a saturn return is, can you describe it?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes? Okay, So when you were born, Saturn was in
your chart somewhere, and it takes twenty nine and a
half years for it to return to the same place.
So typically you start to feel our people mark their
saturn return actually two years prior to that, so twenty
around age twenty seven. Sometimes it starts on your birthday,
(02:01):
sometimes before, so it doesn't it's not always marked by
your birthday, but you can do a chart reading, either
on one of the astrology apps or actually meet with
an astrologists that can go over these the specifics of
when it'll be in your chart and when it's returning,
so you feel the effects of your life changing, of
the growth quite literally, really really intensely in those two
(02:25):
years from twenty seven to twenty nine. Sometimes it takes
people like it doesn't return into their chart until they're
already in their thirties at thirty or sometimes twenty nine.
It really depends person a person.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
So it's very like it's your late twenties early thirties
correct more or less. If you're thinking about your age
and when this happens for you. Yes, And I feel
like my Saturn return was definitely like twenty nine to
now basically, And I think my advice would be embrace
(02:59):
the chaos. Embrace the chaos, lean into the change. I mean,
I was twenty nine turning thirty, and we were in
the pandemic, you know, and so everything was changing and
everything was in flux and up in the air. And
I think that the past few years I have embraced
that time to like try new things in so many
(03:22):
different ways. I mean, from things like start I mean,
I started stand up comedy when I was twenty nine.
That has been like this investment that I can see
paying off in a lot of different ways now that
I'm thirty two. I mean, I started roller skating. And
I'm not like a professional roller skater or anything, but
just that has brought so much into my life. And
(03:44):
I love skating still, even though I don't do it
as much as I was at the beginning during the pandemic.
It's still something that brings me so much joy. I
moved out of my family home and got my first
like big real apartment and I'm like doing the calculations
and I need to check with my mom about this,
but I'm like ninety nine percent sure that I am
(04:05):
probably the only woman, to my knowledge in my family
who has ever lived completely by herself, not with family
or a partner. My grandmother lived with her employers back
in the day when she was young, when she first
came to LA But to like have your own place
by yourself, I think I'm the only one. And so
(04:28):
even just like cosmically getting me there to that place,
I feel like I had to really like lean into
the possibility of that type of change, not only for
myself but just like how we operate as a family.
And I'm so happy that I've done it. It's just
opened up so much for me. And I've been in
my space for like less than less than a year now. Yeah,
(04:51):
so like lean into it, embrace it, like don't hold
on to the old stuff or to the way things were,
Like let it go, you know, and like make room
for something new, clean out your closet. Yeah, clean out
your closet literally and metaphors and metaphorically. How about you,
what would your advice be that.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I echo that my sudden return started around the time
I turned twenty seven, and it returned I think of
maybe a month after I turned a month before or
a month after I turned thirty, And I say the
same thing, like, let it go, let it all go.
Don't force, don't force it, don't force anything like, don't
force the old ways that you were doing things, the
(05:31):
old things in your life to make sense in this
new phase of your life because you find yourself outgrowing
things and the things that you maybe you once thought
were good for you are no longer, no longer fit
in your life in that way. And so I think, definitely,
don't force the old ways to stay. Let go of relationships,
(05:53):
romantic friendships, familial like those kinds of relationships you In
my experience, I started to reexamine them, look at them differently,
either let some of them go or work on the
ones that I thought were worth reinvesting in. And yeah,
you can't force it. And I feel like my saturn
(06:14):
return definitely dragged me, like in terrible ways when things
finally fall into place the way they're supposed to. Like,
I could have gotten there quicker if I hadn't like
resisted it so much. And something that I remember when
I was I wasn't in my Saturn return yet. I
was probably twenty five, and I started hearing people talk
about their sad in returns because a couple of people
(06:35):
were older than me and they were very into astrology,
and so I started That's when I started learning about them.
And one of the markers I remember very clearly was
if you're in a relationship, this is either your relationship
is either going to go to the next level. You're
gonna get married, You're going to move in together. Something
significant is going to happen that redefines the relationship or
(06:56):
goes the opposite way the relationship ends. And I thought
about that because when now, well, my spouse right, but
my partner was he was starting his sad in return.
He had actually ended a long term relationship. And then
a year later he and I started dating, and so
I thought, Okay, when I heard that, I'm like, oh
that tracks for you. For him, that tracked for him,
(07:17):
and then for me, well, same thing. We got married.
So I remember always thinking about that and kind of
knowing like I have not outgrown this relationship, but I
think something is going to change, and it did change
we got married, and so yeah, I would say, like,
let don't force things, let it go, give room for
(07:37):
the growth, for the newness, for the freshness. And it
may hurt, growing pains hurt, but it's good on the
other side.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
And there might be people in your life who are
actually resistant to your growth, yep, because growth can be uncomfortable,
not just for the person growing, but for the people
around us. Sometimes folks are excited for you and proud
of you. Other times it can be scary for people
to see you, you know, be different, to become different,
(08:08):
to live differently.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Oh, absolutely, to make choices.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You're less available, maybe you don't live close by anymore,
maybe you are not in the same job, maybe you
don't have to whatever it is. You know, the things
we do impact the people around us, and sometimes even
the things that are beneficial for us like freak other
people out. And so I think it's also really important
(08:32):
to like, you have to prioritize your saturn return, you know,
and your growth and your movement forward and allow yourself
to be an even doper version of you. It is possible.
There is more, you know, there's more. And I think
in La especially, I think we can get so stuck
(08:56):
into our normal and our routine, and I think, especially here,
we get really into like, well, this is my family,
and this is my neighborhood, and this is my job,
and this is my thing, and this is where I
hang out and this is what I do.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, because it's so spread out, you usually stay in
your little square, your little pocket of LA totally.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
But there is a world outside of here. There is
a world outside of Los Angeles, and there's other ways
of doing things, and there's other kinds of people, and
there's other stuff going on, and I think it's really
healthy to explore that also in your side and return
get off the internet, get off, get off, spend time offline.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, like you're going to grow in the world.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
You got to look up from your phone, you know,
and like formulate your own thoughts and clear the chatter
out of your head and try something new. And yeah,
we can learn a lot on TikTok, but also it's
kind of an echo chamber and the world still has
like a lot more to teach us. Beyond the curate
did algorithmic feed, you know, so give yourself that opportunity
(10:05):
as well. I think that's kind of been major for me,
is divesting emotionally and time wise from Instagram.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I noticed that the other day. I was like, I
haven't seen malab post on her story at all. No,
you know, and I had been noticing that about you,
that you are definitely more offline now. So hearing you
say that, it makes sense because I was picking up
on it.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, I mean, you know, it's the type of thing that, like,
I spent so much time on Instagram, in particular in
my twenties. I would like wake up and the first
thing I would do is like post and or tweet.
I would be tweeting furiously yes, morning, noon, and night,
(10:47):
you know, not sleeping every thought in my fucking head
on the internet and like getting riled up over things
and like putting so much energy and like emotion into it.
And I had like some shift where I realized, like
this is ugly, a, B. This is kind of useless,
(11:10):
and C this is boring. Like I'm not developing and
myself as an artist with this practice, I am not
fostering relationships this way I'm not growing as a person.
I'm not learning new things. I'm just posting, you know.
(11:30):
I And also, you know, one of the reasons why
I'm like, let me go to school, let me go
back to school, because school still has a place and
it's still a I can learn things in school that
I'm not going to learn on fucking YouTube, you know,
and let me go be around human beings and like
have like a sense of normalcy and routine. So I
(11:53):
think Instagram and social media obviously has been huge for
us in getting us to where we are, But it's
also one of those relationships that I feel like my relationship,
I haven't outgrown the Internet because we still rely on
the Internet, but my I've outgrown like my dynamic, you know,
with with social media. I don't and maybe like I'll
(12:16):
start posting again, but right now I'm really I'm still
making stuff. I'm creating stuff, but it's just not on
my Instagram stories. It's somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Totally. Yeah, I'm still very much connected with social media
because I feel like I have things that I'm sharing,
like the book club, like that is like that is
actually just on social media, Like my book club is online. Yeah,
So I still very much feel tethered to the Internet,
which I don't like. I would love to get to
a point where I can just like make something and
(12:48):
go offline and then post it and then go offline again,
like I see artists get to that point, and I
want to be there. I don't know if with a
podcast it's possible. Maybe with a book, yes, But yeah,
I definitely feel myself like kind of pulling away from
the Internet, but also still seeing it as a tool.
So I've been trying to find a balance of how
(13:09):
to one give it some importance in my work and
using it as a tool to promote the work, but
also not relying on it solely, and also like letting
myself detached from it.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, I think we're just becoming more sophisticated in how
we engage. I mean, for the foreseeable future. I don't
envision like not having an account or not posting at all.
And of course with the shows, that's where we that's
where we promote the shows, that's where the audience is,
you know, and so we're always thinking of ways to
(13:42):
create content. I think that's not just something to put
up there, but that we're actually going to be proud
of and that's going to like present some type of
a challenge or it's going to be artistically interesting. It's
going to so you know, when we do our promos,
our visual promos for the new season of LOK, that's
always a fun opportunity to put something original together, to
(14:04):
work with a team, to work with Jessica of Redheart
Media to like build a set and we write a
script and we pick our outfits, our wardrobe. We have
Robert doing our hair and makeup. We work with Grisol
to make music, to make a soundtrack and a score
for the episodes, but also for our visuals. Like that
type of stuff I think is so much more fulfilling
(14:27):
than like we're just posting just to post.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, I think definitely we've outgrown that for sure, and
so you'll see, like our page is like not as
active as maybe it was once was years ago. But
I think we yes, it's like when we have something
to share that's intentional, we share it and then if not,
then it's it's a little silent. Yeah, I think that's okay.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And that might change. I mean that might change this summer,
you never know, yeh ever, know, just stay tuned, just
keep watching, I mean, don't follow, keep following. Definitely keep following.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Well, best of luck on your Saturn return. Don't be
afraid to let go, don't be afraid to grow. Let
it happen, because the universe will make it happen. It
forces you, It forces the changes. So either you're gonna
get with it or you're gonna You're gonna hurt while
it happens, but you'll be okay.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah. Yeah, So before.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
We get into today's theme, we're gonna go on a
quick break and we'll be right back. We're going to
share some personal stories we have not shared on the
podcast before, So come back, stay tuned, and we're back.
Something new that we're doing this season. We want to
do some thematic storytelling episodes where we share a story
(15:41):
with y'all, hopefully one you've never heard before and one
that focuses on a specific theme. For today, we are
talking about times that we did something for the plot,
specifically for the plot specifically, like so, either we made
a decison that we knew was going to either change
(16:02):
something or teach us something about ourselves, but we didn't
necessarily know it then. Right now we can look back
and be like Okay, that's why I did that. Yeah,
And so to start, Malla is going to share a
story with us where she did something for the plot.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
So if you are like a really really really really
diehard Listener follower from like day one, you might have
heard me share a little bit of this story in
the past, but I've not told it like a legit,
like a full story with all the you know considerations
that USA just mentioned. So when I was a wee
last my dad was our track coach and he started
(16:42):
a running club at our school. We were running track
and cross country year round springfall and in summer. We
had running club and we were in Catholic school but
we didn't end our season with the CIF finals, right,
And that's like for all the Catholic schools, that's where
(17:03):
all the kids come together and that's like that's their finals.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
That's like they're big, it's like the championship.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Yeah. So we were running all year long and we
were in Catholic schools and this was elementary school, right,
So for the elementary schools, the Catholic schools they would
compete in we would compete in CYO, the Catholic Youth Organization,
and so they would organize all of our track meets
between the Catholic schools and then there would be a
(17:31):
Cyo finals and that's where you know, you like qualify
if you make it to what the top eight or whatever.
You're competing at finals at Cyo finals. So even though
we were in Catholic school, my dad had us competing
beyond Cyo and beyond the like little Catholic school circuit
(17:51):
because you wanted us running against like everybody. So there
was this organize, or there still is, the AAU, the
Amateur Athletic Union, and AAU had their own like track league,
and so you could qualify for the AAU like nationals,
which were back then they were like qualifiers for the
(18:14):
Junior Olympics. So we went up north to go like
qualify for AAU for the Junior Olympics. And you know,
of course, like all the events are stacked, like there's
runners from all over the state, and California has a
lot of really good runners, Like California is a running
state for sure. And I remember at the time, we're
like looking at the different events and it's like, honestly,
(18:37):
I'm not going to qualify for any of these. I'm
like I'm not going to qualify for the mile. I'm
not going to qualify for the half. I'm not going
to qualify for the quarter. We're not going to qualify
for the four by four, not at like the Junior
Olympic level, right, But we're like looking at the events
and I'm like, oh my god, there's like nobody competing
to qualify for the race walk, no one, Like the
(18:58):
field is open, like it's empty. And as a child,
I remember thinking to myself, and I think my dad
also was like kind of like like canoodling with me
as well, and like scheming. I'm like, I should qualify
for the racewalk and then go to the Junior Olympics
and compete in speed walking, because why not. And the
(19:18):
thing is the event it was like a two mile racewalk,
which is a really long time, long time to be
on the track walking. That's eight laps if memory serves,
And if it wasn't two miles, it was one mile,
which is still a long time to be on the
track walking because everybody else is running and you're walking.
(19:39):
And so I did it, and a couple of us
did it, we like competed, we all qualified, and then
we drove across the country as a group to Norfolk,
Virginia for the Junior Olympics, and we competed and there
were other racewalkers there. I came in like I was
like number six, I was like top ten or whatever,
(20:00):
and so it was very fun. And I realized later,
like throughout my life that I did that for the plot.
I did it because it was kind of a funny,
random thing to do, Like it was just literally wide open,
so I just walked on in. Why not? And then
I sort of realized that, oh, now I have this
(20:22):
like funny little thing, this little tidbit that every time
I've ever done an icebreaker, a new job, a new
class in school, meeting a new group of people, like, oh,
what's what's one thing that people would be surprised to
learn about you? What's a fun fact too? Truths and
a lie? I always throw it in there. It is
(20:44):
you heard me talk about it so many times because
it's just that's my little my little nugget. It's your anecdote,
that's my little anecdote. That's part of my lore. And
looking back, it's probably why I did it. I had
no intention of being a career racewalker. No, like I
wasn't passionate.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
You weren't going to be like you didn't have aspirations
to be an Olympian. Oh you did it because it
was funny and you could do it because.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I could do it, and why not. It was like
a fun thing, and like we all went and competed
in the racewalk and it was like super random. And
my mom recently actually my mom's a teacher still at
the school that we went to, and one of our
former racewalkers like is married, has a child now, went
to visit my mom in her classroom and my mom
(21:31):
like introduced him to her because he came in first place.
This guy like he really took to the racewalk, like
he just excelled, he just killed it. And she introduces
him to all of her students and she's like, this
is a national champion racewalker. She's like, will you come
back and teach the children how to racewalk? And he's
(21:52):
like absolutely, I will. So there's just like this little
group of us that just like had this little experience
and it's just funny to like, oh yeah, this is
still it comes up sometimes it's.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Really funny because you are a theater kid, and there's
something very theatrical about, Oh, I'm gonna perform this racewalk.
This is a performance, Like I'm not just like speed
walking to qualify as a junior Olympian. I'm like performing
so that I have this tidbit to carry with me later. Absolutely,
(22:26):
and like you were laying the foundation for it. Maybe
you didn't recognize it then, but now looking back, you're like, yep,
I was performing. That was exactly what I was doing.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
And if you've ever seen if you've ever seen power walking,
it's very funny to look.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I was gonna ask you, can you describe what powerwalking
looks like?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yes? Absolutely, So the difference between walking and running, and
this goes into like the rules of racewalking and how
they conduct it. So they actually have watchers standing along
the track, like every hundred meters watching the racewalkers, because
the rules behind racewalking is it's got to be heel
(23:05):
toe heel toe. You always have to have one foot
on the ground when you run, both feet are off
of the ground, you know, like throughout your running time.
That's the difference between walking and running. So there's like
this specific form and technique and if they see you
starting to run, and if they catch you without one
(23:28):
foot on the ground, you get like a demerit. I
forget what they call it, but they flag you somehow
and you can be disqualified. So that's why when you
see racewalkers, the hips are swaying from side to side.
You can really see the pronounced heel toe. They got
the arms going. It's very different than running form because
it's a different event, you know. So, yeah, that's racewalking.
(23:49):
There's a really great Malcolm in the Middle episode about racewalking.
It's one of my favorites. And then I remember when
we were in elementary school. Then we got really into like, oh,
like who are the older racewalkers? And there were these
two twin Latino boys who were like in high school
and I don't remember their names, but they were both
but they were like super elite champion racewalkers and that
(24:12):
was that. That really was their thing, that really was
their sport. So I don't know, Yeah, it's a whole thing.
It was very cute, very fun, and I still walk
away from men very quickly. It comes in handy. It helps.
So yeah, that's my story. That's my tidbit.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
That's a great story. You did it for the plot.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I did it for the plot. So I don't know,
maybe this goes back to the Saturn return, like do
the silly thing, do the weird thing, do the silly thing.
Do it for the plot?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yes, do it for the plot. Don't be afraid of
looking silly. That's something I struggle with, but like I like,
I constantly try to get myself out of that, like
like it's okay, do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
You recently started dipping into clowning. I did, which I love.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yes, that's terrifying.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
And I feel like this has also been like okay,
just kind of shedding that sort of like okay, like
the fear of looking silly.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yes, oh yeah, I actively like It's not exactly like
exposure therapy or anything, because I know that that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Ye.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
But for me, I was like, Okay, I am someone
that is very much in my head, very much in
my body. How do I shake that all out? How
do I get rid of that? And so I did
sign up for a clowning class, and it was hard.
It was hard, especially because I was the only non
comic because it's a comedy class. And I very much
(25:32):
went in there like I am not a comic. I
don't do stand up, I don't perform, but I'm a
writer and so I get in my head a lot,
and so I'm here for that. This is a creative
tool for me. And it was because like on our
second day, you know, the prompt was like, you're walking
around the room, walk around like fire, What does fire
look like? What does fire look like at a one?
What does fire look like at a ten? And she
(25:54):
had us do the four elements, So we did water,
we did air, fire, and then earth, and I just
thought I walked away from that like I am going
to use this as a creative practice in my daily
life when I'm feeling like I just need to shake
the funk out and just do it at home, you know.
And so yeah, I agree, like it is a way
of like getting out of your head and like not
(26:14):
being afraid of looking silly because everybody's doing it, You're not.
I wasn't the only one. It's not like everyone was
there staring at.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Me, right, And it's like, yeah, like people aren't actually
fixating no on every little thing that you know, you
or I are doing necessarily.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, maybe right, I hope not.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I hope not.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Who knows, but.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Even if they are, let them watch, let them watch,
let them see.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Fun.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
So I guess my story that I'll share today. Yeah,
something that I did for the plot. So I've shared
this before that I went to Catholic school K through twelve.
If you're a longtime listener, even a new listener, you
know this about us. And part of being a practicing
Catholic is completing the sacraments. So for those unfamiliar or
maybe you've repressed it, there's baptism, reconciliation, like the Eucharist,
(27:06):
receiving of the host, right, first communion, Confirmation, anointing of
the sick, marriage, and then Holy orders. But when you
get baptized, you get baptised as a baby, yeah, because
it absolves you of original sin because babies are born
with sin, right, So you're baptized, which is so like
hearing it is like yes, but that is that's what
it is.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
That is the case. That is the doctrine.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
And then your second sacrament is reconciliation, and so you
repent for your sins. You go to confession. So as
a second grader, I went to confess my sins to
the priest and then had to ask for repentance and
then was told to pray six helmaries or whatever. So
that's the second sacrament. The third is first communion, and
that's when you eat the host, the body of Christ,
(27:49):
and you drink the wine the blood of Christ.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
The literal body of blood.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Also yeah, by the way, yes, And so I was
in third grade when this happened. And then finally for
me at least when I was in high school, I
got confirmed. And so confirmation is like you're professing to
the world, you're confirming your faith in God in the
Catholic Church. And if I recall correctly, it was like
(28:13):
a two year process, right, So it was a two
year process, and it started I think in either eighth grade. No,
it started my first year of high school, concluded my
sophomore year of high school. And by the second year,
close to confirmation, close to the ceremony, I asked my
mom if I could please be excused. I was like,
I do not want to do this. I'm not ready
(28:35):
to get to get confirmed, like I have questioned, I
don't think I'm ready to do this yet, Like can
we wait? And my mom said no, she said, no,
you have to get confirmed. She made me get confirmed.
She was very matter of fact about it. There was
no option. And around this time, I was very much
questioning my sexuality. I kind of had like a little
girlfriend on my cross country team, like yes, like exploring
(28:59):
was happening. And I think my mother knew this, and
so I think me saying I didn't want to get
confirmed was like confirming something else to her. Yes, right,
and so she definitely knew I was questioning my sexuality,
and so she forced me to get confirmed. And I
actually think that for anyone, if you're trying to be
(29:19):
a Catholic, or if you have your kids in Catholic school, right,
I don't think that people should be getting confirmed that young.
In my opinion, I think we should wait for them
to be adults because a lot of the times, like
we're indoctrinated, right, our parents are giving us their religion
and we don't really have a choice. And I think, right,
you should always have a choice. But I digress. So
part of the confirmation requirement at the time, at least
(29:42):
for me, was that I had to attend a two
day retreat and I was not allowed to go anywhere
like sleepovers, nada. But the two day retreat, I was like, Okay, yeah,
you can go do that. And I don't remember how
I got out of it, if it was a scheduling issue,
like I really blocked that out and I didn't go.
But then the confirmation ceremony was like around the corner
(30:04):
and we do a rehearsal and the youth leader tells me, oh,
you actually can't get confirmed because you didn't go to
the two day retreat. And so I tell my mom this,
and my mom is pissed, and I don't remember her
being mad at me, but she was mad at the
youth leader. And again I don't remember the like the
pretense of why I wasn't able to go. But then
(30:26):
the confirmation leader is like or the youth leader is like, okay,
she can get confirmed with the stipulation that she does
a makeup retreat. Okay, cool, So my mom agrees, I agree,
in good faith, I'm gonna go to this makeup retreat.
So I get confirmed. Right, there's the Bishop of Archdiocese
of Los Angeles is like blessing us, confirming us. It's
(30:49):
a whole thing. My family's so happy, like okay, it happens,
I get quote confirmed, and around this time, it's like
almost June, and our makeup artist, Robert is also my
lifelong childhood friend.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yes, shout out Robert.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes. And so at this time Robert was not out yet,
but I had a feeling he was questioning because I
was questioning, and so I orchestrated this plan to take
him to Weehoe Pride Festival so that he could know
that I supported him and that like it was okay,
like he could come out to me. Like, in retrospect,
(31:30):
I probably shouldn't have done that, but I was like
with my tools at the time, I was trying to
be a good friend, right.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You're like, I know, let's go to West Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
So we planned this whole day and my mom is
going to drop us off under the pretext that we
were supporting Robert.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
My girlfriend, my high school girlfriend, went with us, and
my mom drops us all off. We're going to the parade.
We're going to the festival, which at the time I
think was like twenty dollars. It was wow, Yeah, it
was Yeah. It was kind of like, you know, like
a family like the parade at least was like family friendly,
you know, we weren't like the only young people there,
but there are like families with their children all of that.
(32:09):
So then the Friday before Pride, I get a text
from the youth leader telling me that the makeup retreat
is that same Sunday as Pride, and so in order
for my confirmation to be valid, I have to go
to this retreat instead. I don't respond to the text.
I don't tell my mom about it. And this was
pretty significant for me because I was like a good kid,
(32:32):
you know what I mean, Like I wasn't rebellious. I
never snuck out, I never drank, I never did drugs.
Like I was like the good Catholic school girl.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Yes, yes, yes, you know what I mean, Like I
didn't give your parents any stress.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I gave them no problems. And I think now looking
back at the time, like being queer was probably the
most rebellious thing I had done, and ditching confirmation to
go to La Pride was a very rebellious thing for
this little Latina Catholic school girl thing to do. And
I remember what I was wearing. Do you remember when
(33:06):
American in Peril.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Was like, oh really popular, oh everywhere every the disco shorts,
the disco pants.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Oh yeah, So I remember wearing this American Apparel tank
that had like rainbow stripes, Like every stripe was a
different color, so it looked like a rainbow. And I
was wearing little booty shorts. And then toward the entrance
of the parade there were protesters. Do you remember the
Westboro Baptist Church. I do.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
They were very active.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
They were very active. So the Westboro Baptist Church was
this congregation of like separatists Baptist that were very homophobic,
anti Semitic, like all kinds of things, really racist, and
they were there. To my memory, it was the Westboro
(33:54):
Baptist Church. Maybe it wasn't, and I'm just comparing it
to them, but I feel like it was. It was,
and they were yelling at us. They were telling us
not to enter, saying we were too young, and obviously
we were in Los Angeles, so we were in like
kind of a liberal time, right liberal city. But this
was also two thousand and eight, And when I was
thinking back on this memory, two thousand and eight was
(34:17):
when Prop eight was on the ballot measure.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Oh my god, I remember PROPA.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
So Prop eight for those that don't recall or aren't familiar.
Was a ballot measure to ban a same sex marriage.
So now, looking back, okay, that's probably why people were protesting,
aside from it being a pride event, but it was
definitely very like political pride always is. But because of
that ballot measure, I feel like there was a lot
of actively anti gay, anti gay marriage protest activations happening
(34:48):
along in LA And so to vote no, because you know,
ballot measures are super confusing, to vote no was to
actually be in support of same sex marriage, and to
vote yes was to ban it. And so I think
that the ballot measure being on the ballot that year,
even though I couldn't vote, I actually think was pretty
(35:09):
significant for me because I knew at the time that
I was queer and I was not going to ever
get married in the Catholic Church because I couldn't, And
so what did it matter to get confirmed because I
was never going to get married in the church And
I still didn't get married in the church.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
No, you didn't, So.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I think in order for me to yeah, in order
for me to complete this, the next sacrament after confirmation
is marriage, which you do through the Catholic Church. So
if I had wanted to actually get married in the
Catholic Church, I would have had to get confirmed again
because I had never actually got confirmed. So I think
now when I reflect on that memory, aside from it
(35:51):
being my first like rebellious moment, it was also me recognizing,
like I think really looking at marriage because I was
never that little girl that dreamt of her wedding, you
know that thought about you know how they put that
on us as like, oh, girls think about getting married,
since women think of women think about getting married since
(36:13):
the day, since they were young girls.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Yes, right, they dream about this, they dream.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
About their wedding. I was never that person. I was
never that little girl, maybe because my parents weren't married,
so I never had anything to really think about in
that way. There was like no direct access to it.
But I remember, yeah, I think that because the correlation
with being queer, the ballot measure, being on the ballot
(36:37):
that year, getting confirmed, all of that was kind of
just this recipe for like I'm not getting confirmed and
I'm going to go to Pride instead. And I think
that's one of my favorite anecdotes from being like a
baby queer. It's like I said, fuck y'all, I'm not
getting confirmed. I'm not going to the retreat. I'm going
to go to Pride instead.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah. I love that story. That's a great story. So
much symbolism, so much meaning. I mean, truly, I mean
a confirmation of a different kind.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yes, yeah, I think it was the first time I
like intentionally went against my parents' wishes and that was
a really big deal for me because of the house
that the household that I grew up in, the like
young lady I was being raised to be was like
a Nina Winna. You know, she wasn't queer. She went
to Catholic school and she was going to get confirmed,
and you know that was it.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Were your parents upset with you? Did they get mad?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
They still don't know. Oh, they still don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
They don't know that you never actually got confirmed and
that there was supposed to be a makeup retreat that day.
I love this.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
They still don't know. So even when prepping this episode,
I was like, oh God, am I going to tell
my mom that? Does it even matter at this point?
Like she's not really a practicing Catholic anymore. I didn't
get married in the church. Does it really matter.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
We'll see if they hear it. I won't find out
if they hear.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah. So that's been like my lifelong secret. I feel
my parents still don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Oh my god, I love it. And the confirmation stuff
with It's like, God, we spend all these years in
Catholic school and then it's after you graduate from the
eighth grade and then they want two more years out
of you going back for classes to get confirmed. It's
just it's it's scream scam to me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
And I was already in Catholic school, like I was
at a Catholic high school. Yeah. So it's like you
would get off, you would go home from school, take
a beat, go to your little youth council. I don't
remember the terms, but your little like youth meetings where
you would like be taught. And I remember it was
(38:51):
like on a Friday night at like a youth leader's
house and we would talk about the Bible and we
would talk about God and we talk about Jesus and
the scriptures and all of that. And that went on
for two years.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Lord.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
So it was like Catholic school and then that and
then those classes, the confirmation classes exhausting. It was a lot.
It was a lot. It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
It's too much. Wow, m hm, look at you, I know,
a little ravel rouser, I know, a little dissident. I love.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Look at us. We've come a long.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Way, we have. We're like the same people. Yeah, more
grown obviously, But I think those are two good examples
of us doing things that like, yeah, kind of put
us Not that they not that it made us the
people were supposed to be, but it was like a step,
you know, a step to that got us closer to
like who we're supposed to be and who we are now.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
I completely agree. Yeah, it was foreshadowing of what was
to come.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yes, yeah, So I think our listeners should take this
prompt and think about the times it maybe you did
something for the plot, or the time when you made
a choice that would create a different path for you
or a more clear path to the person you're supposed
to be.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yeah, doing it for the plot is really writing your
own story. Yes, Like, oh, I'm going to write this next,
I'm going to write this memory for myself and creating
this experience, this memory for myself, and then I'll always
have it.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah. Absolutely. When I was prepping for this episode, I
was thinking like I should actually talk to Robert about
this memory because we haven't discussed it since love it. Yeah,
so there's that too, that looking back, what.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
If Robert's like, I don't remember that.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Oh, he definitely does. He definitely does, cutie.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Yeah, I would love to know what that did for him.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
M Yeah, I like forced him to tell me he
was gay. Again. Don't recommend anybody do that ever, but yeah,
I think for being fifteen, I was like, I'm going
to be a supportive friend and I'm queer, so I
want you to feel okay to be queer and open.
And you know, it's not like I went and told
(41:11):
this whole family or anything, but it was very much
like in Confianza, you can tell me who you are,
you know, And I should have, of course, like let
him tell me when he was ready. But in my
mind I was being helpful and like, let's go to pride.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yes, yes, you were just creating the condition, yes, in
which he could come out to you.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Basically, yes, exactly. Oh my god, I've been out for
fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Why I know?
Speaker 1 (41:38):
And I married a man who child.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Not in the church and not in the church.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
If you had told fifteen year old me that I
was going to marry a man. I would have would
have been like, you're insane, that's not me right right
right here we are, I'm a bisexual.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Sadd in return, embrace the chaos.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yes, there we go, Brace the chaos all right? Look
I want is well. Thank you for tuning in to
another capito of lok A Radio. We hope you liked
this different style of episode. We're going to keep experimenting,
so let us know what you think and we'll catch
you next time. Theos Lokata Radio is executive produced by
(42:17):
Viosa FM and Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Stephanie Franco is our producer.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Story editing by Me diosa.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Creative direction by me Mala look.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Tura podcast network.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
You can listen to Loka Radio on the iHeartRadio app
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Leave us a review and share with your prima or
share with your homegirl.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
And thank you to our Loka motives, to our listeners
for tuning in each and every week.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Besitos
Lokata Radio is a radiophonic novela.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Which is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm Fosa fem.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And I am ma la Munios. We're podcasting through another
Trump election year. We've been podcasting through election years, a
global pandemic, civic unrest, political controversies, the Me Too movement,
the rise of TikTok, and we are still here. We're
not done telling stories.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We're still making podcasts. We're older, we're wiser, We're even
podcasting through a new decade of our lives.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Since twenty sixteen, we've been making Loca to Our Radio
independently until we joined iHeartMedia's Michael Dura Network in twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
From our lips to your ears, fall in love with
Loka to a radio like you never have before.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome to Season nine, Love at First Listen.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Ola La Loka Morees. Welcome to see nine of lok
at Dora Radio. I'm Theosa and I'm ala. Look at
Otter Radio is a podcast dedicated to archiving our present
and shifting the culture forward. So today we are bringing
back an OG's segment oh yea Lokas where we answer
(01:19):
listener questions, so let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You are now listening to Oh Yas and I love
this first one because I think it's so relevant to us. Yes,
what advice would you both give to someone starting their
saturn return? Now, Dyosa. For the listeners who don't know
what a saturn return is, can you describe it?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes? Okay, So when you were born, Saturn was in
your chart somewhere, and it takes twenty nine and a
half years for it to return to the same place.
So typically you start to feel our people mark their
saturn return actually two years prior to that, so twenty
around age twenty seven. Sometimes it starts on your birthday,
(02:01):
sometimes before, so it doesn't it's not always marked by
your birthday, but you can do a chart reading, either
on one of the astrology apps or actually meet with
an astrologists that can go over these the specifics of
when it'll be in your chart and when it's returning,
so you feel the effects of your life changing, of
the growth quite literally, really really intensely in those two
(02:25):
years from twenty seven to twenty nine. Sometimes it takes
people like it doesn't return into their chart until they're
already in their thirties at thirty or sometimes twenty nine.
It really depends person a person.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
So it's very like it's your late twenties early thirties
correct more or less. If you're thinking about your age
and when this happens for you. Yes, And I feel
like my Saturn return was definitely like twenty nine to
now basically, And I think my advice would be embrace
(02:59):
the chaos. Embrace the chaos, lean into the change. I mean,
I was twenty nine turning thirty, and we were in
the pandemic, you know, and so everything was changing and
everything was in flux and up in the air. And
I think that the past few years I have embraced
that time to like try new things in so many
(03:22):
different ways. I mean, from things like start I mean,
I started stand up comedy when I was twenty nine.
That has been like this investment that I can see
paying off in a lot of different ways now that
I'm thirty two. I mean, I started roller skating. And
I'm not like a professional roller skater or anything, but
just that has brought so much into my life. And
(03:44):
I love skating still, even though I don't do it
as much as I was at the beginning during the pandemic.
It's still something that brings me so much joy. I
moved out of my family home and got my first
like big real apartment and I'm like doing the calculations
and I need to check with my mom about this,
but I'm like ninety nine percent sure that I am
(04:05):
probably the only woman, to my knowledge in my family
who has ever lived completely by herself, not with family
or a partner. My grandmother lived with her employers back
in the day when she was young, when she first
came to LA But to like have your own place
by yourself, I think I'm the only one. And so
(04:28):
even just like cosmically getting me there to that place,
I feel like I had to really like lean into
the possibility of that type of change, not only for
myself but just like how we operate as a family.
And I'm so happy that I've done it. It's just
opened up so much for me. And I've been in
my space for like less than less than a year now. Yeah,
(04:51):
so like lean into it, embrace it, like don't hold
on to the old stuff or to the way things were,
Like let it go, you know, and like make room
for something new, clean out your closet. Yeah, clean out
your closet literally and metaphors and metaphorically. How about you,
what would your advice be that.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I echo that my sudden return started around the time
I turned twenty seven, and it returned I think of
maybe a month after I turned a month before or
a month after I turned thirty, And I say the
same thing, like, let it go, let it all go.
Don't force, don't force it, don't force anything like, don't
force the old ways that you were doing things, the
(05:31):
old things in your life to make sense in this
new phase of your life because you find yourself outgrowing
things and the things that you maybe you once thought
were good for you are no longer, no longer fit
in your life in that way. And so I think, definitely,
don't force the old ways to stay. Let go of relationships,
(05:53):
romantic friendships, familial like those kinds of relationships you In
my experience, I started to reexamine them, look at them differently,
either let some of them go or work on the
ones that I thought were worth reinvesting in. And yeah,
you can't force it. And I feel like my saturn
(06:14):
return definitely dragged me, like in terrible ways when things
finally fall into place the way they're supposed to. Like,
I could have gotten there quicker if I hadn't like
resisted it so much. And something that I remember when
I was I wasn't in my Saturn return yet. I
was probably twenty five, and I started hearing people talk
about their sad in returns because a couple of people
(06:35):
were older than me and they were very into astrology,
and so I started That's when I started learning about them.
And one of the markers I remember very clearly was
if you're in a relationship, this is either your relationship
is either going to go to the next level. You're
gonna get married, You're going to move in together. Something
significant is going to happen that redefines the relationship or
(06:56):
goes the opposite way the relationship ends. And I thought
about that because when now, well, my spouse right, but
my partner was he was starting his sad in return.
He had actually ended a long term relationship. And then
a year later he and I started dating, and so
I thought, Okay, when I heard that, I'm like, oh
that tracks for you. For him, that tracked for him,
(07:17):
and then for me, well, same thing. We got married.
So I remember always thinking about that and kind of
knowing like I have not outgrown this relationship, but I
think something is going to change, and it did change
we got married, and so yeah, I would say, like,
let don't force things, let it go, give room for
(07:37):
the growth, for the newness, for the freshness. And it
may hurt, growing pains hurt, but it's good on the
other side.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
And there might be people in your life who are
actually resistant to your growth, yep, because growth can be uncomfortable,
not just for the person growing, but for the people
around us. Sometimes folks are excited for you and proud
of you. Other times it can be scary for people
to see you, you know, be different, to become different,
(08:08):
to live differently.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Oh, absolutely, to make choices.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
You're less available, maybe you don't live close by anymore,
maybe you are not in the same job, maybe you
don't have to whatever it is. You know, the things
we do impact the people around us, and sometimes even
the things that are beneficial for us like freak other
people out. And so I think it's also really important
(08:32):
to like, you have to prioritize your saturn return, you know,
and your growth and your movement forward and allow yourself
to be an even doper version of you. It is possible.
There is more, you know, there's more. And I think
in La especially, I think we can get so stuck
(08:56):
into our normal and our routine, and I think, especially here,
we get really into like, well, this is my family,
and this is my neighborhood, and this is my job,
and this is my thing, and this is where I
hang out and this is what I do.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Yeah, because it's so spread out, you usually stay in
your little square, your little pocket of LA totally.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
But there is a world outside of here. There is
a world outside of Los Angeles, and there's other ways
of doing things, and there's other kinds of people, and
there's other stuff going on, and I think it's really
healthy to explore that also in your side and return
get off the internet, get off, get off, spend time offline.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, like you're going to grow in the world.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
You got to look up from your phone, you know,
and like formulate your own thoughts and clear the chatter
out of your head and try something new. And yeah,
we can learn a lot on TikTok, but also it's
kind of an echo chamber and the world still has
like a lot more to teach us. Beyond the curate
did algorithmic feed, you know, so give yourself that opportunity
(10:05):
as well. I think that's kind of been major for me,
is divesting emotionally and time wise from Instagram.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I noticed that the other day. I was like, I
haven't seen malab post on her story at all. No,
you know, and I had been noticing that about you,
that you are definitely more offline now. So hearing you
say that, it makes sense because I was picking up
on it.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Yeah, I mean, you know, it's the type of thing that, like,
I spent so much time on Instagram, in particular in
my twenties. I would like wake up and the first
thing I would do is like post and or tweet.
I would be tweeting furiously yes, morning, noon, and night,
(10:47):
you know, not sleeping every thought in my fucking head
on the internet and like getting riled up over things
and like putting so much energy and like emotion into it.
And I had like some shift where I realized, like
this is ugly, a, B. This is kind of useless,
(11:10):
and C this is boring. Like I'm not developing and
myself as an artist with this practice, I am not
fostering relationships this way I'm not growing as a person.
I'm not learning new things. I'm just posting, you know.
(11:30):
I And also, you know, one of the reasons why
I'm like, let me go to school, let me go
back to school, because school still has a place and
it's still a I can learn things in school that
I'm not going to learn on fucking YouTube, you know,
and let me go be around human beings and like
have like a sense of normalcy and routine. So I
(11:53):
think Instagram and social media obviously has been huge for
us in getting us to where we are, But it's
also one of those relationships that I feel like my relationship,
I haven't outgrown the Internet because we still rely on
the Internet, but my I've outgrown like my dynamic, you know,
with with social media. I don't and maybe like I'll
(12:16):
start posting again, but right now I'm really I'm still
making stuff. I'm creating stuff, but it's just not on
my Instagram stories. It's somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
Totally. Yeah, I'm still very much connected with social media
because I feel like I have things that I'm sharing,
like the book club, like that is like that is
actually just on social media, Like my book club is online. Yeah,
So I still very much feel tethered to the Internet,
which I don't like. I would love to get to
a point where I can just like make something and
(12:48):
go offline and then post it and then go offline again,
like I see artists get to that point, and I
want to be there. I don't know if with a
podcast it's possible. Maybe with a book, yes, But yeah,
I definitely feel myself like kind of pulling away from
the Internet, but also still seeing it as a tool.
So I've been trying to find a balance of how
(13:09):
to one give it some importance in my work and
using it as a tool to promote the work, but
also not relying on it solely, and also like letting
myself detached from it.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Yeah, I think we're just becoming more sophisticated in how
we engage. I mean, for the foreseeable future. I don't
envision like not having an account or not posting at all.
And of course with the shows, that's where we that's
where we promote the shows, that's where the audience is,
you know, and so we're always thinking of ways to
(13:42):
create content. I think that's not just something to put
up there, but that we're actually going to be proud
of and that's going to like present some type of
a challenge or it's going to be artistically interesting. It's
going to so you know, when we do our promos,
our visual promos for the new season of LOK, that's
always a fun opportunity to put something original together, to
(14:04):
work with a team, to work with Jessica of Redheart
Media to like build a set and we write a
script and we pick our outfits, our wardrobe. We have
Robert doing our hair and makeup. We work with Grisol
to make music, to make a soundtrack and a score
for the episodes, but also for our visuals. Like that
type of stuff I think is so much more fulfilling
(14:27):
than like we're just posting just to post.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah, I think definitely we've outgrown that for sure, and
so you'll see, like our page is like not as
active as maybe it was once was years ago. But
I think we yes, it's like when we have something
to share that's intentional, we share it and then if not,
then it's it's a little silent. Yeah, I think that's okay.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
And that might change. I mean that might change this summer,
you never know, yeh ever, know, just stay tuned, just
keep watching, I mean, don't follow, keep following. Definitely keep following.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Well, best of luck on your Saturn return. Don't be
afraid to let go, don't be afraid to grow. Let
it happen, because the universe will make it happen. It
forces you, It forces the changes. So either you're gonna
get with it or you're gonna You're gonna hurt while
it happens, but you'll be okay.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah. Yeah, So before.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
We get into today's theme, we're gonna go on a
quick break and we'll be right back. We're going to
share some personal stories we have not shared on the
podcast before, So come back, stay tuned, and we're back.
Something new that we're doing this season. We want to
do some thematic storytelling episodes where we share a story
(15:41):
with y'all, hopefully one you've never heard before and one
that focuses on a specific theme. For today, we are
talking about times that we did something for the plot,
specifically for the plot specifically, like so, either we made
a decison that we knew was going to either change
(16:02):
something or teach us something about ourselves, but we didn't
necessarily know it then. Right now we can look back
and be like Okay, that's why I did that. Yeah,
And so to start, Malla is going to share a
story with us where she did something for the plot.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
So if you are like a really really really really
diehard Listener follower from like day one, you might have
heard me share a little bit of this story in
the past, but I've not told it like a legit,
like a full story with all the you know considerations
that USA just mentioned. So when I was a wee
last my dad was our track coach and he started
(16:42):
a running club at our school. We were running track
and cross country year round springfall and in summer. We
had running club and we were in Catholic school but
we didn't end our season with the CIF finals, right,
And that's like for all the Catholic schools, that's where
(17:03):
all the kids come together and that's like that's their finals.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
That's like they're big, it's like the championship.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Yeah. So we were running all year long and we
were in Catholic schools and this was elementary school, right,
So for the elementary schools, the Catholic schools they would
compete in we would compete in CYO, the Catholic Youth Organization,
and so they would organize all of our track meets
between the Catholic schools and then there would be a
(17:31):
Cyo finals and that's where you know, you like qualify
if you make it to what the top eight or whatever.
You're competing at finals at Cyo finals. So even though
we were in Catholic school, my dad had us competing
beyond Cyo and beyond the like little Catholic school circuit
(17:51):
because you wanted us running against like everybody. So there
was this organize, or there still is, the AAU, the
Amateur Athletic Union, and AAU had their own like track league,
and so you could qualify for the AAU like nationals,
which were back then they were like qualifiers for the
(18:14):
Junior Olympics. So we went up north to go like
qualify for AAU for the Junior Olympics. And you know,
of course, like all the events are stacked, like there's
runners from all over the state, and California has a
lot of really good runners, Like California is a running
state for sure. And I remember at the time, we're
like looking at the different events and it's like, honestly,
(18:37):
I'm not going to qualify for any of these. I'm
like I'm not going to qualify for the mile. I'm
not going to qualify for the half. I'm not going
to qualify for the quarter. We're not going to qualify
for the four by four, not at like the Junior
Olympic level, right, But we're like looking at the events
and I'm like, oh my god, there's like nobody competing
to qualify for the race walk, no one, Like the
(18:58):
field is open, like it's empty. And as a child,
I remember thinking to myself, and I think my dad
also was like kind of like like canoodling with me
as well, and like scheming. I'm like, I should qualify
for the racewalk and then go to the Junior Olympics
and compete in speed walking, because why not. And the
(19:18):
thing is the event it was like a two mile racewalk,
which is a really long time, long time to be
on the track walking. That's eight laps if memory serves,
And if it wasn't two miles, it was one mile,
which is still a long time to be on the
track walking because everybody else is running and you're walking.
(19:39):
And so I did it, and a couple of us
did it, we like competed, we all qualified, and then
we drove across the country as a group to Norfolk,
Virginia for the Junior Olympics, and we competed and there
were other racewalkers there. I came in like I was
like number six, I was like top ten or whatever,
(20:00):
and so it was very fun. And I realized later,
like throughout my life that I did that for the plot.
I did it because it was kind of a funny,
random thing to do, Like it was just literally wide open,
so I just walked on in. Why not? And then
I sort of realized that, oh, now I have this
(20:22):
like funny little thing, this little tidbit that every time
I've ever done an icebreaker, a new job, a new
class in school, meeting a new group of people, like, oh,
what's what's one thing that people would be surprised to
learn about you? What's a fun fact too? Truths and
a lie? I always throw it in there. It is
(20:44):
you heard me talk about it so many times because
it's just that's my little my little nugget. It's your anecdote,
that's my little anecdote. That's part of my lore. And
looking back, it's probably why I did it. I had
no intention of being a career racewalker. No, like I
wasn't passionate.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
You weren't going to be like you didn't have aspirations
to be an Olympian. Oh you did it because it
was funny and you could do it because.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
I could do it, and why not. It was like
a fun thing, and like we all went and competed
in the racewalk and it was like super random. And
my mom recently actually my mom's a teacher still at
the school that we went to, and one of our
former racewalkers like is married, has a child now, went
to visit my mom in her classroom and my mom
(21:31):
like introduced him to her because he came in first place.
This guy like he really took to the racewalk, like
he just excelled, he just killed it. And she introduces
him to all of her students and she's like, this
is a national champion racewalker. She's like, will you come
back and teach the children how to racewalk? And he's
(21:52):
like absolutely, I will. So there's just like this little
group of us that just like had this little experience
and it's just funny to like, oh yeah, this is
still it comes up sometimes it's.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Really funny because you are a theater kid, and there's
something very theatrical about, Oh, I'm gonna perform this racewalk.
This is a performance, Like I'm not just like speed
walking to qualify as a junior Olympian. I'm like performing
so that I have this tidbit to carry with me later. Absolutely,
(22:26):
and like you were laying the foundation for it. Maybe
you didn't recognize it then, but now looking back, you're like, yep,
I was performing. That was exactly what I was doing.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
And if you've ever seen if you've ever seen power walking,
it's very funny to look.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I was gonna ask you, can you describe what powerwalking
looks like?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Yes? Absolutely, So the difference between walking and running, and
this goes into like the rules of racewalking and how
they conduct it. So they actually have watchers standing along
the track, like every hundred meters watching the racewalkers, because
the rules behind racewalking is it's got to be heel
(23:05):
toe heel toe. You always have to have one foot
on the ground when you run, both feet are off
of the ground, you know, like throughout your running time.
That's the difference between walking and running. So there's like
this specific form and technique and if they see you
starting to run, and if they catch you without one
(23:28):
foot on the ground, you get like a demerit. I
forget what they call it, but they flag you somehow
and you can be disqualified. So that's why when you
see racewalkers, the hips are swaying from side to side.
You can really see the pronounced heel toe. They got
the arms going. It's very different than running form because
it's a different event, you know. So, yeah, that's racewalking.
(23:49):
There's a really great Malcolm in the Middle episode about racewalking.
It's one of my favorites. And then I remember when
we were in elementary school. Then we got really into like, oh,
like who are the older racewalkers? And there were these
two twin Latino boys who were like in high school
and I don't remember their names, but they were both
but they were like super elite champion racewalkers and that
(24:12):
was that. That really was their thing, that really was
their sport. So I don't know, Yeah, it's a whole thing.
It was very cute, very fun, and I still walk
away from men very quickly. It comes in handy. It helps.
So yeah, that's my story. That's my tidbit.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
That's a great story. You did it for the plot.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I did it for the plot. So I don't know,
maybe this goes back to the Saturn return, like do
the silly thing, do the weird thing, do the silly thing.
Do it for the plot?
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yes, do it for the plot. Don't be afraid of
looking silly. That's something I struggle with, but like I like,
I constantly try to get myself out of that, like
like it's okay, do it anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
You recently started dipping into clowning. I did, which I love.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yes, that's terrifying.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
And I feel like this has also been like okay,
just kind of shedding that sort of like okay, like
the fear of looking silly.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yes, oh yeah, I actively like It's not exactly like
exposure therapy or anything, because I know that that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Ye.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
But for me, I was like, Okay, I am someone
that is very much in my head, very much in
my body. How do I shake that all out? How
do I get rid of that? And so I did
sign up for a clowning class, and it was hard.
It was hard, especially because I was the only non
comic because it's a comedy class. And I very much
(25:32):
went in there like I am not a comic. I
don't do stand up, I don't perform, but I'm a
writer and so I get in my head a lot,
and so I'm here for that. This is a creative
tool for me. And it was because like on our
second day, you know, the prompt was like, you're walking
around the room, walk around like fire, What does fire
look like? What does fire look like at a one?
What does fire look like at a ten? And she
(25:54):
had us do the four elements, So we did water,
we did air, fire, and then earth, and I just
thought I walked away from that like I am going
to use this as a creative practice in my daily
life when I'm feeling like I just need to shake
the funk out and just do it at home, you know.
And so yeah, I agree, like it is a way
of like getting out of your head and like not
(26:14):
being afraid of looking silly because everybody's doing it, You're not.
I wasn't the only one. It's not like everyone was
there staring at.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Me, right, And it's like, yeah, like people aren't actually
fixating no on every little thing that you know, you
or I are doing necessarily.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, maybe right, I hope not.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I hope not.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Who knows, but.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Even if they are, let them watch, let them watch,
let them see.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Fun.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
So I guess my story that I'll share today. Yeah,
something that I did for the plot. So I've shared
this before that I went to Catholic school K through twelve.
If you're a longtime listener, even a new listener, you
know this about us. And part of being a practicing
Catholic is completing the sacraments. So for those unfamiliar or
maybe you've repressed it, there's baptism, reconciliation, like the Eucharist,
(27:06):
receiving of the host, right, first communion, Confirmation, anointing of
the sick, marriage, and then Holy orders. But when you
get baptized, you get baptised as a baby, yeah, because
it absolves you of original sin because babies are born
with sin, right, So you're baptized, which is so like
hearing it is like yes, but that is that's what
it is.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
That is the case. That is the doctrine.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
And then your second sacrament is reconciliation, and so you
repent for your sins. You go to confession. So as
a second grader, I went to confess my sins to
the priest and then had to ask for repentance and
then was told to pray six helmaries or whatever. So
that's the second sacrament. The third is first communion, and
that's when you eat the host, the body of Christ,
(27:49):
and you drink the wine the blood of Christ.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
The literal body of blood.
Speaker 1 (27:53):
Also yeah, by the way, yes, And so I was
in third grade when this happened. And then finally for
me at least when I was in high school, I
got confirmed. And so confirmation is like you're professing to
the world, you're confirming your faith in God in the
Catholic Church. And if I recall correctly, it was like
(28:13):
a two year process, right, So it was a two
year process, and it started I think in either eighth grade. No,
it started my first year of high school, concluded my
sophomore year of high school. And by the second year,
close to confirmation, close to the ceremony, I asked my
mom if I could please be excused. I was like,
I do not want to do this. I'm not ready
(28:35):
to get to get confirmed, like I have questioned, I
don't think I'm ready to do this yet, Like can
we wait? And my mom said no, she said, no,
you have to get confirmed. She made me get confirmed.
She was very matter of fact about it. There was
no option. And around this time, I was very much
questioning my sexuality. I kind of had like a little
girlfriend on my cross country team, like yes, like exploring
(28:59):
was happening. And I think my mother knew this, and
so I think me saying I didn't want to get
confirmed was like confirming something else to her. Yes, right,
and so she definitely knew I was questioning my sexuality,
and so she forced me to get confirmed. And I
actually think that for anyone, if you're trying to be
(29:19):
a Catholic, or if you have your kids in Catholic school, right,
I don't think that people should be getting confirmed that young.
In my opinion, I think we should wait for them
to be adults because a lot of the times, like
we're indoctrinated, right, our parents are giving us their religion
and we don't really have a choice. And I think, right,
you should always have a choice. But I digress. So
part of the confirmation requirement at the time, at least
(29:42):
for me, was that I had to attend a two
day retreat and I was not allowed to go anywhere
like sleepovers, nada. But the two day retreat, I was like, Okay, yeah,
you can go do that. And I don't remember how
I got out of it, if it was a scheduling issue,
like I really blocked that out and I didn't go.
But then the confirmation ceremony was like around the corner
(30:04):
and we do a rehearsal and the youth leader tells me, oh,
you actually can't get confirmed because you didn't go to
the two day retreat. And so I tell my mom this,
and my mom is pissed, and I don't remember her
being mad at me, but she was mad at the
youth leader. And again I don't remember the like the
pretense of why I wasn't able to go. But then
(30:26):
the confirmation leader is like or the youth leader is like, okay,
she can get confirmed with the stipulation that she does
a makeup retreat. Okay, cool, So my mom agrees, I agree,
in good faith, I'm gonna go to this makeup retreat.
So I get confirmed. Right, there's the Bishop of Archdiocese
of Los Angeles is like blessing us, confirming us. It's
(30:49):
a whole thing. My family's so happy, like okay, it happens,
I get quote confirmed, and around this time, it's like
almost June, and our makeup artist, Robert is also my
lifelong childhood friend.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Yes, shout out Robert.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yes. And so at this time Robert was not out yet,
but I had a feeling he was questioning because I
was questioning, and so I orchestrated this plan to take
him to Weehoe Pride Festival so that he could know
that I supported him and that like it was okay,
like he could come out to me. Like, in retrospect,
(31:30):
I probably shouldn't have done that, but I was like
with my tools at the time, I was trying to
be a good friend, right.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
You're like, I know, let's go to West Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
So we planned this whole day and my mom is
going to drop us off under the pretext that we
were supporting Robert.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
Right.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
My girlfriend, my high school girlfriend, went with us, and
my mom drops us all off. We're going to the parade.
We're going to the festival, which at the time I
think was like twenty dollars. It was wow, Yeah, it
was Yeah. It was kind of like, you know, like
a family like the parade at least was like family friendly,
you know, we weren't like the only young people there,
but there are like families with their children all of that.
(32:09):
So then the Friday before Pride, I get a text
from the youth leader telling me that the makeup retreat
is that same Sunday as Pride, and so in order
for my confirmation to be valid, I have to go
to this retreat instead. I don't respond to the text.
I don't tell my mom about it. And this was
pretty significant for me because I was like a good kid,
(32:32):
you know what I mean, Like I wasn't rebellious. I
never snuck out, I never drank, I never did drugs.
Like I was like the good Catholic school girl.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Yes, yes, yes, you know what I mean, Like I
didn't give your parents any stress.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I gave them no problems. And I think now looking
back at the time, like being queer was probably the
most rebellious thing I had done, and ditching confirmation to
go to La Pride was a very rebellious thing for
this little Latina Catholic school girl thing to do. And
I remember what I was wearing. Do you remember when
(33:06):
American in Peril.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Was like, oh really popular, oh everywhere every the disco shorts,
the disco pants.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Oh yeah, So I remember wearing this American Apparel tank
that had like rainbow stripes, Like every stripe was a
different color, so it looked like a rainbow. And I
was wearing little booty shorts. And then toward the entrance
of the parade there were protesters. Do you remember the
Westboro Baptist Church. I do.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
They were very active.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
They were very active. So the Westboro Baptist Church was
this congregation of like separatists Baptist that were very homophobic,
anti Semitic, like all kinds of things, really racist, and
they were there. To my memory, it was the Westboro
(33:54):
Baptist Church. Maybe it wasn't, and I'm just comparing it
to them, but I feel like it was. It was,
and they were yelling at us. They were telling us
not to enter, saying we were too young, and obviously
we were in Los Angeles, so we were in like
kind of a liberal time, right liberal city. But this
was also two thousand and eight, And when I was
thinking back on this memory, two thousand and eight was
(34:17):
when Prop eight was on the ballot measure.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Oh my god, I remember PROPA.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
So Prop eight for those that don't recall or aren't familiar.
Was a ballot measure to ban a same sex marriage.
So now, looking back, okay, that's probably why people were protesting,
aside from it being a pride event, but it was
definitely very like political pride always is. But because of
that ballot measure, I feel like there was a lot
of actively anti gay, anti gay marriage protest activations happening
(34:48):
along in LA And so to vote no, because you know,
ballot measures are super confusing, to vote no was to
actually be in support of same sex marriage, and to
vote yes was to ban it. And so I think
that the ballot measure being on the ballot that year,
even though I couldn't vote, I actually think was pretty
(35:09):
significant for me because I knew at the time that
I was queer and I was not going to ever
get married in the Catholic Church because I couldn't, And
so what did it matter to get confirmed because I
was never going to get married in the church And
I still didn't get married in the church.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
No, you didn't, So.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I think in order for me to yeah, in order
for me to complete this, the next sacrament after confirmation
is marriage, which you do through the Catholic Church. So
if I had wanted to actually get married in the
Catholic Church, I would have had to get confirmed again
because I had never actually got confirmed. So I think
now when I reflect on that memory, aside from it
(35:51):
being my first like rebellious moment, it was also me recognizing,
like I think really looking at marriage because I was
never that little girl that dreamt of her wedding, you
know that thought about you know how they put that
on us as like, oh, girls think about getting married,
since women think of women think about getting married since
(36:13):
the day, since they were young girls.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Yes, right, they dream about this, they dream.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
About their wedding. I was never that person. I was
never that little girl, maybe because my parents weren't married,
so I never had anything to really think about in
that way. There was like no direct access to it.
But I remember, yeah, I think that because the correlation
with being queer, the ballot measure, being on the ballot
(36:37):
that year, getting confirmed, all of that was kind of
just this recipe for like I'm not getting confirmed and
I'm going to go to Pride instead. And I think
that's one of my favorite anecdotes from being like a
baby queer. It's like I said, fuck y'all, I'm not
getting confirmed. I'm not going to the retreat. I'm going
to go to Pride instead.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah. I love that story. That's a great story. So
much symbolism, so much meaning. I mean, truly, I mean
a confirmation of a different kind.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yes, yeah, I think it was the first time I
like intentionally went against my parents' wishes and that was
a really big deal for me because of the house
that the household that I grew up in, the like
young lady I was being raised to be was like
a Nina Winna. You know, she wasn't queer. She went
to Catholic school and she was going to get confirmed,
and you know that was it.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Were your parents upset with you? Did they get mad?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
They still don't know. Oh, they still don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
They don't know that you never actually got confirmed and
that there was supposed to be a makeup retreat that day.
I love this.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
They still don't know. So even when prepping this episode,
I was like, oh God, am I going to tell
my mom that? Does it even matter at this point?
Like she's not really a practicing Catholic anymore. I didn't
get married in the church. Does it really matter.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
We'll see if they hear it. I won't find out
if they hear.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah. So that's been like my lifelong secret. I feel
my parents still don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Oh my god, I love it. And the confirmation stuff
with It's like, God, we spend all these years in
Catholic school and then it's after you graduate from the
eighth grade and then they want two more years out
of you going back for classes to get confirmed. It's
just it's it's scream scam to me. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
And I was already in Catholic school, like I was
at a Catholic high school. Yeah. So it's like you
would get off, you would go home from school, take
a beat, go to your little youth council. I don't
remember the terms, but your little like youth meetings where
you would like be taught. And I remember it was
(38:51):
like on a Friday night at like a youth leader's
house and we would talk about the Bible and we
would talk about God and we talk about Jesus and
the scriptures and all of that. And that went on
for two years.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Lord.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
So it was like Catholic school and then that and
then those classes, the confirmation classes exhausting. It was a lot.
It was a lot. It was a lot.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
It's too much. Wow, m hm, look at you, I know,
a little ravel rouser, I know, a little dissident. I love.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Look at us. We've come a long.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Way, we have. We're like the same people. Yeah, more
grown obviously, But I think those are two good examples
of us doing things that like, yeah, kind of put
us Not that they not that it made us the
people were supposed to be, but it was like a step,
you know, a step to that got us closer to
like who we're supposed to be and who we are now.
Speaker 2 (39:50):
I completely agree. Yeah, it was foreshadowing of what was
to come.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yes, yeah, So I think our listeners should take this
prompt and think about the times it maybe you did
something for the plot, or the time when you made
a choice that would create a different path for you
or a more clear path to the person you're supposed
to be.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yeah, doing it for the plot is really writing your
own story. Yes, Like, oh, I'm going to write this next,
I'm going to write this memory for myself and creating
this experience, this memory for myself, and then I'll always
have it.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah. Absolutely. When I was prepping for this episode, I
was thinking like I should actually talk to Robert about
this memory because we haven't discussed it since love it. Yeah,
so there's that too, that looking back, what.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
If Robert's like, I don't remember that.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Oh, he definitely does. He definitely does, cutie.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Yeah, I would love to know what that did for him.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
M Yeah, I like forced him to tell me he
was gay. Again. Don't recommend anybody do that ever, but yeah,
I think for being fifteen, I was like, I'm going
to be a supportive friend and I'm queer, so I
want you to feel okay to be queer and open.
And you know, it's not like I went and told
(41:11):
this whole family or anything, but it was very much
like in Confianza, you can tell me who you are,
you know, And I should have, of course, like let
him tell me when he was ready. But in my
mind I was being helpful and like, let's go to pride.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yes, yes, you were just creating the condition, yes, in
which he could come out to you.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Basically, yes, exactly. Oh my god, I've been out for
fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Why I know?
Speaker 1 (41:38):
And I married a man who child.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Not in the church and not in the church.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
If you had told fifteen year old me that I
was going to marry a man. I would have would
have been like, you're insane, that's not me right right
right here we are, I'm a bisexual.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Sadd in return, embrace the chaos.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yes, there we go, Brace the chaos all right? Look
I want is well. Thank you for tuning in to
another capito of lok A Radio. We hope you liked
this different style of episode. We're going to keep experimenting,
so let us know what you think and we'll catch
you next time. Theos Lokata Radio is executive produced by
(42:17):
Viosa FM and Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Stephanie Franco is our producer.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
Story editing by Me diosa.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Creative direction by me Mala look.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Tura podcast network.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
You can listen to Loka Radio on the iHeartRadio app
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Leave us a review and share with your prima or
share with your homegirl.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
And thank you to our Loka motives, to our listeners
for tuning in each and every week.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Besitos
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