October 23, 2024 • 48 mins
In this week's episode listen las Locatoras get personal and vulnerable during "Oye Locas", a segment where we answer listener questions. Some questions include, how to stop taking things personally, what we're letting go of, and advice to our younger selves.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Look at Our Radio is a radiophonic novela, which.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I'm Fosa Fem.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And I am ma la Munios. We're podcasting through another
Trump election year. We've been podcasting through election years, a
global pandemic, civic unrest, political controversies, the Me Too movement,
the rise of TikTok, and we are still here. We're
not done telling stories.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We're still making podcasts. We're older, we're wiser, We're even
podcasting through a new decade of our lives.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Since twenty sixteen, we've been making Loca thro Our Radio
independently until we joined iHeartMedia's Michael Gura Network in twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
From Our Lips to your Ears, Fall in Love with
Loka to a Radio like you never have before.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome to Season nine. Love that first.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Listen Olao La Loka mod is. Welcome to season of
Lok a Dora Radio. I'm the Osa and I'm Mala
Loka Dora Radio is a podcast dedicated to archiving our
present and shifting the culture forward. You're tuning into Capitolo
Doo two nineteen.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Last time on Loca to Our Radio. We interviewed Aiden Castellanos,
the host of Susto, a podcast of uki spooky scary stories.
For sure.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
So one of the earlier ones that I remember that
isn't Lao Na, because I feel like that is the
like the go to right away for everyone. I tell people,
she's like the Beyonce of spirits, right, like everybody knows
who she is, everybody knows her story. But another one
that was really popular in my upbringing was the story
of the Girl who Downs at the Devil, and I think.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
That was centered around the folklore of LATINX and Hispanic cultures.
Tune into that episode. It's a good one. We learned
about a bunch of brand new horror stories that we
had never heard of before. We learn about why Aiden
calls himself a folklorist and more amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
One of my favorites ever, I say that each of
a but it's true. One of my favorites.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Aiden is very knowledgeable, very storage.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I love when I love meeting someone that is like
an expert in something that you're like kind of know
about and they're like they know a lot about it.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
That's just always so fun. It's like you are so
well researched and well read, and you like love your
craft so much that you're just going to keep on
learning and super niche.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I love how In that episode, Aiden talks about the
legacy of ghost stories in the Rio Grande Valley specifically,
and that's sort of where he's drawing his inspiration from
to pursue this type of research.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Absolutely, it's very much folklore, scary horror at the intersection
of like she gotta studies, very fascina, which is probably
why we love it so much.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
There you go, Okay, you got us weer nerds.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Tune in, tune in today. We're just we're answering some
oh you look ask questions. But before that we kind
of just want to check in, catch up. We haven't
really had a chance to talk to our look amis
in a while, so let's just get started.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Mala, what have you been up to the assie. You've
been busy as always.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
It's been a very busy couple of weeks. It's been
a busy year. It's been a busy couple of weeks.
It was just my birthday. That's a big one. I
turned thirty one, which is wild. Not that I feel
old or anything. I just was talking about this with
my mom. And you know, when you're a kid or
you hear stories right about like young girls that are
(03:33):
like when I'm twenty something, I'm going to be married
with babies and this and that, And I just never
saw my I never had that image of myself as
like an adult. And I don't know why. Maybe something
I need to talk about in therapy, who knows. But
and now it's like I'm fully in now officially in
my thirties. I've been thinking about it, like wow, okay,
(03:54):
like I'm in my thirties, I feel more self actualized.
I feel more confident in who I am, and feel
a lot more confident also in setting boundaries and like
letting go of that people please your identity. And I
don't know, so I'm thinking that thirties are great so far.
They're very challenging. I think you're thirty tried to take
me out. I went through like so many life transitions
(04:16):
and changes and loss, a lot of loss. So I'm
just welcoming thirty one and hoping that the universe is like, Okay,
we're gonna like chill on this one for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yes, just let it breathe.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yes, I can't take any more.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Please, I didn't flow.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I'm like enough character development, because your girl can only
take so much.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
The character is developed.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, please please give me a break. I need an intermission.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You're exiting your Saturn return basically at this stage.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yes, yes, yes, my Saturn return has been complete for
about a year, I think so. Yes, please let it
all be done for a while.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I think the hard part's over.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I hope, so, girl. From what do they say, from
your lips to God's ears?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yes, from your lips to God's ears to God's hearing. Aid,
there we go, turn it up God later, crank of
the volume.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
And to celebrate my birthday, I went to Vaya the
Wada Lupe in Baha with a couple of friends and
that was really fun. It was definitely a different type
of birthday in the sense that I like was a
mature adult that didn't get too drunk.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Amazing, I know. I mean last year we were hiking
to Machipia.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I think that might have said it. Yeah, like that
set everything in motion.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yes, it's like a pivot on the way the birthday
is celebrated.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yes, I have spent many a birthday not remembering, Yes,
and I loved that from my twenties. But as I
was sharing with you and a couple of our friends,
there was one birthday where I like didn't make it,
like I like had to go sleep on the couch.
Nine yeah, And I remember the next day like all
like I don't want to spend my birthday not remembering
(06:05):
and I don't want to spend my birthday asleep when
my friends are outside with each other. And so for me,
that was that moment where I was like, Okay, I
did that and I loved it. It's been fun, but
like I'm ready for something else totally. And so I
think I definitely took that energy into the birthday trip
where it's like I don't want to be passing out.
(06:25):
I don't want to be sick, Like I want to
have some wine, have some snacks, be with my friends,
and like take some nice photos, enjoy the ambiance.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
It's wine tasting, but not wine drunk, right, We're not slashed,
We're just we're sipping.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yes. And it's funny because you know, when I went
to UC Santa Barbara, and that is depending on your age,
and you know, if you're still an undergrad there is wine,
there are wineries, and you do wine tasting, but because
you're so young, you go to get drunk and it's
like cheap. It's like, oh, I can get like really
drunk on these wine tastings and it's like twenty dollars.
(07:05):
But if I do enough of them, I'm good. Yea right,
And so yeah, you know, we were like twenty and
like you don't know what you're doing, and so yes,
you're wine tasting to like actually taste the wine.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
And that's so mature, it's so elevated.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I know, I know. I was proud of everyone. Nobody
like the gopas you know. It was definitely like a
trip where everyone was on the same page.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
That sounds lovely. Yeah, it was lovely and I couldn't
make it. But we've been talking about a trip to
Vaya for years and now, and then I couldn't go,
I know, so I was sad. I have grown accustomed
to celebrating your birthday with you.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh we've celebrated I think all of the birthday since
we've known each other together. Yeah, yeah, but you're busy.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah. I did go to your house with my tizza.
It did.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I had a small gathering with my friends that couldn't go,
and that was really nice.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, a small intimate, an intimate gathering of close friends.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I know. I kept telling everyone, like, this is not
a party, like don't dress up, don't bring anything, bring
yourself and like please like just hang with me. And
that's what we did. We had pizza, we had wine.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
It was lovely. We haet cake.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It was great.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
You got presents.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I got presents. What are they called the little Calico critters?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
They're so cute. I know, you got a bedroom set.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I did. I got a bedroom set, to my dismay,
but also with gratitude.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Because you have to like put up on put them
on a shelf for something.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I do, yes, And I you know, my best friend
Jackie has been supporting my Calico critter like kind of obsession.
But I'm very not willing to be fully obsessed or
commit to the obsession. And so you know, I'm like,
I don't have space. I'm also thirty one. I'm like
not trying to like be the girl with the little things.
But I love the little things, you know, I love them.
(08:52):
I love me some Hello Kitty. I think of like
Hello Kitty as like my Latina birthright, because like you
go to Mexico, go to my hand gool, there's Hello
Kitty everywhere were I'm like, oh, this is just I
was destined.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
At the Santa Fe Spring Swapmeat, the Hello Kitty vendor. Yes,
we bought things from her.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
We bought thingsats exactly exactly. So anyway, so she gifted
me a bedroom set for my little herky twins. I
know it's I know, it's so cute.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Though, you guys should see it came with bunk beds.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
It's a really adorable and a dk I don't want
to be known as the girl with the little thing.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Okay, but you know that that like Renaissance painting, the
girl with the pearl earring, you're the girl with the
little things.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
We need to put my things in my hand, my
little Hello Kitty, my Calico critters.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
You need a portrait, you know, acrylic of you need
a portrait. You need to sit for a portrait with
your things.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I cannot.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I love it. I cannot.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yes, wow, And then finally I mean wrapping up Latino
Hispanic heritage man. I was asked to moderate a panel
by Info Blocks. They're a tech company and actually one
of my book club members, Kiki. She put me up
for this opportunity and I got to interview the fabulous
(10:13):
Willie Chavaria.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Amazing, amazing iconic. I'm so when you texted me that,
I screamed a little bit. I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
What. He's a Chicano designer from Fresno and very much
grew up with like farm worker family members, and his
designs and his personal brand paid tribute to that cultural
historical legacy. And so I got to talk to him
and he's just incredible, and so I hope we can
(10:44):
want to get him on the podcast and have him
talk to us as well, because it was just a
fabulous time.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
He has blown up and I always come across him
on TikTok, Like people are always interviewing him on the
street asking him about his outfit. His work is on
all the big runways, he's in all the major magazines.
Like he's becoming a fashion icon in the mainstream, Like
he really is hot, cature, but make it Chicano, make
it Fresno. But I think he's been New York based, right.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yes, he's New York based and he's also the current
senior vice president of design at Calvin Klein. So he's
really in the fashion world, so in it. In addition
to having his own brand that's his namesake, he's also
works for Calvin Klein.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I had no idea he was with Calvin Klein, all American. Yes,
that's incredible.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yes, I'm so honored that I was able to talk
to him, and hopefully we can get him on look
at Tora, Don't go Anywhere, Loka Motives. We'll be right.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Back and we're back with more of our episode.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
So, Maley, you have also been quite busy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Yes, I'm in the throes of school. I'm in my
second semester of my MFA at USC. I'm studying Film
and Television production, and so this semester, the way it
works in this class as they put us in trios
and we take turns doing different jobs and we make
three movies in one semester. So for the first movie
of the semester, I was the cinematographer, I was the
director of photography, and I was our production designer. That
(12:16):
was a super duper fun experience. I've always been a
little timid with the camera, and there's a lot of
pressure in that job to make everything look good and
make sure things are in focus and that the frame
is perfect and that the director is getting everything that
they want. There's just a lot of people buzzing around
and a lot of details with the camera settings and
(12:37):
the lighting and continuity and X, Y and Z. But
doing that and the production design just gave me, like
I don't know, a really beautiful opportunity to blend, Like
I love a little interior design, so to blend that
with the camera work was really really fun. Right now
with the movie that we're making, I'm our producer, and
(12:58):
when you're producing a film in this class, you're also
the on set sound recordist, So I'm like handling the
mixer and I'm operating the boom, and then I also
have to edit the film. So they have us cutting
our dailies, which are the clips that we film over
the weekend. They have us cut our dailies and then
(13:22):
screen them in class in between shooting weekends, and then
our professors give us feedback, and then we go back
a second weekend and we do any reshoots or whatever
needs to be shot. So it's a lot of in
that producing work. It's like a lot of permits and
forms and insurance and scheduling and meals and keeping track
of cast and crew and everyone's allergies and who's a
(13:45):
vegetarian and where's everyone parking? And do we have our
film LA permit? And do we need a stunt coordinator?
And is there a fog machine? And like do we
need a production safety plan? Like it's a lot of paperwork.
But then I also get to turn around and edit,
which is also fun. And then the next film that
we make, I'll be writing and directing, and so stay
tuned because I have more about that one. I'm doing
(14:06):
a little horror film which is going to be very
fun and cute. So yeah, I'm just in the thick
of it. And then I have like a midterm exam
in this class called Motion Picture Script Analysis, and we
watch movies and then analyze them. So like I don't
carry any books in this program, like as a graduate student,
there's no books. But we are watching Finding Nemo in
(14:30):
class and the School of Rock and like doing an
analysis of the film as a text. So that's very
fun for me. And yeah, so that's what I've been
up to.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
That's really cool.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I love when you send me photo updates and when
you just send me general updates about what's going on
in costs and what you're working on. That's exciting.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
It is very exciting. And like again in my role
as producer, like this film that I'm working on, we
have like one character breaks the other character's neck and
hit somebody over the head with a bat, and we
have like a fake bomb and a whip and blood
and rope and baseball bats. And I had to take
all of those prop weapons to campus to the Department
(15:10):
of Public Safety to get them inspected by the watch commander.
And then I had to take them to the physical
production office and it's like a whole thing. And I
get there and I like open up my bag and
the cop is like, okay, let's see these weapons. And
it's like, you know, rope and blood and a baseball
bat and like a sticks of dynamite from Amazon. Like
I just feel so silly, you know, like with my
(15:32):
Looney Tune ass bag of tricks. So, yeah, film school
is really fun and I'm very actually very excited for
the semester to be over because she's tired. But it's okay,
that's what it's all about. That's me.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, grad school is hard. And your program is a
lot longer than mine. So yes, blessings to.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
You, thank thank you. I will I will take the blessings.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Thank you and Bill, you know, obviously making the show.
And we're also hosting an event in collaboration with Sway
Studio on Thursday, October twenty fourth in la We will
be in conversation with Liliam Rivera. She is the author
of Tiny Threads and we're going to be talking about
her book and all things fashion, sustainability and the fashion
(16:24):
industry in general.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Love it. That's going to be really fun. Shout out
to our friend Sureley for coordinating with us to get
us involved with this event. We're really looking forward to it.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah, I'm so excited to just be like out in
the world again as podcasters, you know what I mean.
Like the studio obviously is amazing, and the podcast is amazing,
but like doing actual events like we used to is
really fun and I missed that. So it's really fun
when we get to be like out and about.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
And we were at USC not too long ago, yes,
moderating a conversation and that was a great time. And
it's it's just really fun doing things with students and
speaking on campuses. When we were doing our university circuit
back in the day before the pandemic, it was just
always really fun and the energy is so high, and
(17:14):
they's a buzz when there's a student run event, and
it's always like the Latino Center or the Association of
Latin American Students and you know, all the acronyms, and
it's just fun.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It's fun.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, they keep us young, they do. Thank god, something
something's keeping as young. It's the students, it's the youth
of tomorrow. The listeners, the listeners.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah. Yeah. So that being said, we actually have some
questions that were submitted today by our listeners in our
Locomotives channel on Instagram. So in case you missed it,
their Instagram now has this feature where you can join
a channel, and in order to do that, you just
go to our Instagram homepage and there's like a little
(18:03):
Locomotives Members channel that you can click and you can
join it. And really, I just like to share a
little behind the scenes photos and questions and let y'all
know when we're doing things. And so I posted a
question box in there and y'all submitted some very fun,
very interesting questions and so we're just gonna get started
(18:24):
and see how many we can get through.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You are now listening to Oh yeah, so I love
this first one. How do I stop taking everything personally?
This one's hard?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
This it's hard.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
How do I stop taking everything personally?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
That's hard. It's hard, especially when you're sensitive like me.
But I think I sometimes I when I catch myself
doing this, I say to myself, it's actually not about you.
It's not about you, And in the kindest way to myself, say,
the world actually doesn't revolve around you, and how this
person is either responding to you right now, or how
(19:07):
maybe they're not prioritizing what's important to you. Whatever it
may be, like, it actually has nothing to do with you.
It has everything to do with them, truly, and where
they're at in their headspace. That doesn't mean like they
have the permission to be mean to you or unkind
to you, or treat you horribly or poorly. But there
are some things that aren't actually about you.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It's even like in the way that we say this,
like taking it personally, it's not that someone's even giving
it to me personally. I'm just taking it and making
it personally.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yes, that's a good point.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
It's in my control how I receive something and how
I bring it into my own mind unless there's like
definitive evidence and proof that oh no, they actually hate me, yeah,
or they actually have a problem with me, but that
is that's rarely what happens.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah, And I also think it's like who is the person? Yes,
you know, is it your mom? Is it someone that
loves you and cares about you? Then like it's really
probably more about them, And if it's someone that doesn't
like you, then like, well you don't need to take
anything from them, actually.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Very much so. And like in life, people are gonna
not like you. Yeah, this is the other thing is
actually yeah, maybe they can't stand you. Yeah, but that
just comes with the territory of existing and being out
in the world and knowing people and meeting people. So
it's also just a hard truth we have to just
accept sometimes like I'm not for this person, and maybe
(20:32):
I leave them alone because I rub them the wrong way.
There's something about me that just doesn't mesh with them
and their vibe. And that's all right. I don't have
to dwell on it. It doesn't have to keep me
up at night. I mean, I'm gonna dwell and it
will keep me up at night, but I don't have to.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, I think that's part of like letting go. Depending
if you're you have those people pleasing tendencies like a
lot of us do, right, especially me, It's like, Okay,
I'm not going to let this actually determine how I
view myself, as hard as it may be. And yes,
some people are not gonna like me, and that's a
hard pill to swallow sometimes, but there are lots of
(21:12):
people that do like you and do love you and
want to be around you. So be with those people.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, And if they don't like you, it's probably because
they're jealous, such.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
A like default Senora thing to say, Selos, they're jealous
of you because you're so beautiful and talented and smart
and they could never and that's why they don't like you.
There we go.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
They can't be in the same room with you, they
can't be next to you. They need a burlap sack
over your head because your shine is just too bright.
You should tell yourself in the mirror.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And we don't doll or shine for nobody. Don't go
anywhere lokomotives. We'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
We're back with more. We hope you didn't go anywhere
all right?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Next question, what made you finally you prioritize yourself? Was
it a breaking point with people?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Have we prioritized ourselves?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I don't know. I think we were doing better at it.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I think you're doing better at it.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, well I think you are too. I think I
think you moving was a way of you like prioritizing
yourself and like a new phase of your life, like
giving yourself that like independence to grow total. I answer
the question for you.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Yeah, definitely, moving, Definitely school. There's also been some personal,
very personal developments that have been going on that I
will not share it.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Am I allowed to say that it's romantic? Yeah, that's it.
That's all we need to say.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Not only is it romantic, it's incredibly romantic. Yes, it's
very romantic.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
It's old timy, it's very old.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Timey, like I've always wanted.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
It has been manifesting an old timey romance and now
she has it. But that's all we're saying because we're
protecting it.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I will say one more thing. In the vegust of terms,
my mom was like, well, you know, this person needs
to go talk to your dad and ask for permission
to date you.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
It's that old timing, that old that's true. Actually, there's
that layer.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
There's that layer, and this is that case where like
a it's funny, but be this person is game and
see like it's actually appropriate, like it actually makes sense.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, it doesn't make sense here, Like no, you go.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Tell my dad, Yeah, you go knock on the door
and any who, AnyWho. That's all I'm going to say
is so that's all I'm going to say.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Okay, okay, okay, okay. So this is how you've finally
like prioritized yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
By falling madly in love. Yeah, exactly, exactly how have
you prioritized yourself?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Oh my god? I okay. I have not shared this
story with very very many people. Mala obviously knows. But
I at the beginning of the top of the year,
I cosplayed as a single girl for a weekend. Nothing
to do with my amazing partner, but I just needed
to get away for a weekend because I was at
(24:03):
my breaking point and that kind of set things in
motion to change. And you know, sometimes you're around people
that are not willing to change for themselves, and so
and you begin to recognize, Okay, these people are not
going to change, so I have to change, and I
change my environment, I change myself. I changed my relationship
(24:23):
with these people, whatever that may look like. And so
that was my breaking point. My little single girl weekend ended,
and it wasn't really a single girl weekend, but I
like stayed alone for the weekend in another place, and
for me, that was me costplaying as a single girl.
And when I came back from that little getaway, you know,
(24:45):
I had a very difficult conversation with my family and
basically said, like, I'm whatever's going on here, I no
longer want to be a part of it, and so
I'm removing myself and by default, my partner is also
moving himself. And so take what you will with that information.
And things changed after that, and so I think that was, like, ugh,
(25:10):
big sigh, Like that was the biggest step that I
ever took to finally prioritize myself. But it was years
in the making. It was years of therapy, It was
all my twenties, all my life practically of like getting
to this point, and so it took a very long time,
but it was a process. It was a journey, and
(25:30):
you know, it was part of what made I think
this year, however you want to look at it, you're thirty,
my year, thirty twenty twenty four, like, we're really challenging,
but I think I'm on the other side of it.
There's still some challenges, but it was it definitely took
like getting to my breaking point to finally make some changes.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Since I've known you, this particular issue has been an issue, right,
like a big one, yeah, you know, just recurring and
so to be at the and there had been conversations
previously about how to fix this, or how it could change,
or who would need to change, and how the house
would have to look different. And so then for this
(26:10):
this big shift to happen like this year, it's one
of those like, oh, it's happening.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's one of those things where you don't believe it's
happening until it's happened, and you know, the like I
hate just to speak in such vague terms. The reason
I'm not so specific it is because it's not just
involving me, right, it's not my my entirely my story
to share, which is why I haven't really talked about
it on the podcast or even on social media because
it's kind of it's private and it affects it's about
(26:37):
my family, and so you know, I just will say
that it was like a really tough couple of months
to get through, and then you know, I made it
through the other side, and I have no.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Regrets, and I do think the hardest part is over.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, thank god.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Yeah, it's got to be smooth from here on out.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yes, please, truly.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
All right, next, let's see what are you reaching for
and what are you letting go of? Oh my goodness,
right now, definitely just reaching for knowledge and learning and
just evolving as a creative and just really learning this
filmmaking stuff and then figuring out how to apply it
(27:19):
back to look at what our productions and then what
we can do with it. Because we've talked about what
can be adapted, like what can be adapted for the
screen in one way or another, and how can our
story also be told on screen somehow? Because we have
now all this audio and we've talked about the show
as an audio archive that is still what it is.
(27:41):
So we've archived all these years and all these ideas
and these thoughts and these interviews and these experiences and
I just think that the podcast itself is so ripe
for a different art form, you know, like to be
expressed in another way. So that's really kind of where
my mind is. And what am I letting go of? Man,
(28:03):
I'm just trying to let go of, you know. I
think over the years, I have evolved a lot as
far as my ideas about like my ideas about even
things like femininity and feminism and like the type of
woman I am or the type of woman I want
to be. And I think I'm letting go of like
maybe some more immature or like one dimensional ideas like
(28:29):
what like you know, I think we've talked about over
the years, how like you know, things like not wanting
kids right or waiting or doing it in your own time,
or but also we've had these conversations about like these
might seem like disconnected, like fem science, you know, and
how like the domestic space can actually be this place
of empowerment and such. And I'm just entering into this
(28:51):
era of like feeling my like soft girl vibes and
like finding the nurture in myself and like the lover
in myself and the caretaker in myself, which are categories
that I have sort of tiptoed around or like I
haven't touched Like I haven't always been a very like
(29:13):
touchy feely or emotional person, and maybe my emotions have
been more stuck to like like passion and excitement or
joy or like thrill seeking. But uh, I have stayed
away from like vulnerability, you know, like I'm not the
most vulnerable and I'm not the most like uh open
(29:37):
with like sharing my feelings and such. But I am
coming into this era where I feel like like the
ice queen is melting, you know, and like the armor
is being shed, like I am laying down my sword. Wow,
which is horrible. It's a horrible feeling, right, but vulnerable, Yeah,
but it also feels so great at the same time.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, when you can be safe and you feel safe
enough to do it, like it should feel good. It
can be scary, that's always gonna be scary, but it
shouldn't feel bad if it actually could feel good.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Yeah, Like somebody at school was like, oh my god,
you're glowing, like what's going on? And I was like,
you know what, I'm in love and it's awful, Like
I love it. But it's also like I feel like
this is very much one of those moments where it's like,
am I grieving? Low key? Like this is a new chapter. Yeah,
(30:35):
And so I'm sort of I'm shedding, I'm kind of
grieving a little bit, but also very happily letting go
and just kind of letting it. I'm just going with it.
I'm just letting it take me, and I'm not resisting.
I'm cooperating. I'm being very cooperative.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Yeah. I think that our whole lives are filled with
like a grieving process because we're constantly transforming and evolving, yes,
and so we're like constantly letting go of a version
of ourselves. And I think, on that note, I've been
talking about this with my therapist for on and off
for a couple of years. Is like, you know, kind
(31:11):
of grieving that the way my life was set up
and the type of person that I am, I was
never going to be someone that moved away from my family.
And I'm not saying that's good or bad if you did,
Like there's no judgment there, but it also because that's
not who I was raised to be, and maybe also
(31:32):
who I chose to be, because I could have just
said al Rajo I'm leaving, like y'all figure it out
by yourselves. That's not who I am. But there's that
part of me that's like, you know, who could I
have been? And who? Yeah, who could I have been
if I had done made some different choices? I think that.
I mean, I'm happy with my life and I'm happy
(31:53):
with where I'm at, but there is that question that
doubt of like could my life have been different if
I had maybe made a choices differently when I was younger.
And this is not to say that I regrets or anything,
but I think that to going back to what you're
saying about grieving and letting go, it's like, okay, letting
go that like, well, that person is can no longer be?
(32:15):
That person's gone, so like I cannot get stuck in
the what if? And should I? And instead, how can
I think about qualities that maybe that version of me
has She's somewhere out there, and how can I bring
her into my current life? You know, how can I
have some of those qualities that maybe I feel are
(32:36):
missing for me or from my life or what I want?
And you know, let them be, let them be here,
let them be present, as opposed to like thinking my mind,
letting going and wandering of like what could have been,
you know, like let's be here in.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
The present, because then it's like, oh, am I just
living in this nostalgia versus like living exactly my reality.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
And it's like you're not appreciate, eat what's right in
front of you, you know, and so and I think
that we can get caught so caught up in that,
especially if maybe there's unresolved feelings about something, you know,
whether that be a person or a situation, anything, you
can get stuck in that like that nostalgia and it's like, oh, actually,
(33:19):
you know, my life is fabulous, it's great. I've built
it to be this way, you know, So let me
be present here and love what's right in front of
me exactly.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
So important. Also, like if we just think about the
human brain and like memories, like our brain cannot retain
every detail of things that have happened in the past,
and we like fill in details like our minds, you know,
like our memories are kind of like fragmented together, and
so the nostalgia sometimes is not completely accurate. Yeah, you know,
(33:52):
it's like I remember these major things, but a lot
of this is kind of like being filled in and
it's almost guessing in some ways. But what we can
rely on more is, yeah, what's in front of us
now is much more trustworthy than what we're remembering.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Definitely, Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
So let's see what's next. If you could have lunch
with anyone dead or alive, who would it be? I
would much rather the person be alive that I'm having
lunch with.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Who would it be?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Probably? I mean not to be cliche and corny, but
I mean probably Selena.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
You just said alive?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Oh she's dead. I forgot. I forgot she's dead for
a second. How sad?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
You know her memory lives on this?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
So okay? You know who would be fun? I mean
I think it's very easy to be like, oh, Beyonce. Right,
I don't actually know how fun she would be over lunch?
You know, Aubrey Plaza.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
That would be a fun lunch. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
I don't know if it would be fun, but it
would be okay because I don't think you know what
I mean, Like it's her like.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Right, you're not like laughing hysterically with each other. No,
there's some like witty banter going on.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Maybe hopefully, I think she would be very very fun.
How about you.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
I am terrible at these types of questions. My mind
goes blank. So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, like, are there people in the world.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Yeah, there are no No one exists. There's no way
there's no one in the world right now that I
would have lunch with.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
I would have lunch with you.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
I was about to say, I would have lunch with you.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
We can get left.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Yes, there we go.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Great question, guys. Let's see can you do an episode
on women in their thirties and how that's still baby?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Well, I love this questions so much, and you're right,
just love the phrasing.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Thirty is baby, thirty is baby, I'm baby, I am baby,
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
That's it, that's baby.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Say no more.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yeah, I don't know. I mean I guess there's that
expectation that like you're like a full grown adult when
you're in your thirties, right and so, but in so
many ways, like no, we're still everyone is still learning.
Everyone is still baby. I will be eighty years old
and still babies.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Oh even more so, I will.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Be even more of a senorita when I'm eighty.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Okay, absolutely, I mean we're just thirty something teenage girls.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Literally I think about that, and I think about too
God not to be so deep today, but I guess
here we are. I've been thinking about, like, you know,
the top of the episode, I was like, I don't
want to have all these little things. And I was like,
you know what, when I was a little girl, I
had lots of little things.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I saw your storage clean up.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, yes, I had little beanie babies, I had barbies.
Like I definitely had things, not like excessively, right, but like,
you know, my mom bought me things. And so I've
been thinking about that now as as someone in their thirties,
and how like everyone is like talking about like we're
tapping into our inner childs and I think, yeah, I
(36:48):
think a lot of us in our thirties we start
to feel safe again to be like I actually don't
care if anyone thinks this is weird or nerdy or
you know, immature. I like it and so cares. Yeah,
And it goes back to like not caring what people think,
doing it just for you, connecting with your inner child,
like all those things that I feel like we collectively
(37:09):
talk about online or women especially talk about online, and
it's like, yeah, just you're still baby. Just do it, Yeah,
have your little things.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Have your little things center play, like finding opportunities to
not be in charge and to not be in control
and to not make all the decisions and to like
not drive and you know, kind of not do anything.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
I think that's really important. And that's also very baby.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
He's very baby. I've been talking to Phenenmeno about that
too recently. I told him, like, you know, so much
of my day to day, I'm like scheduling things and
organizing things and making sure we're on track as a production.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
So she keeps us running.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
I keep us running, and I do it because that's
my that's my strength, right, and I'm okay, I'm okay
with that. That's my role. But I was telling him, like,
I actually don't want to pick where to go to dinner.
I actually don't want to plan a weekend away, So
can you take lead on that because my brain is
actually like exhausted. And I didn't realize how I was
(38:14):
feeling until I told him that. And it's like, you know,
I don't want to be in charge of a date.
Like I need you to do that, Like you need
to take lead on that from now on as he should,
as he should, and but then it's like, well, he's
not going to know that unless I tell him, right,
you know. So it's like I have to you have
to communicate or whatever. And so it's one of those
things where it's like, Okay, I'm baby, but I have
to let everybody know that I'm baby.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Yes, you have to be a very verbose, communicative baby
who states their intentions and their boundary exactly, very self
actualized baby, which is what it's all about. Yeah, it's
what it's all about. Great question.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
We're just like flowing through these questions right now. I
didn't think we were going to get through them.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Oh yeah, lookaz, it's fun. Yeah, it's always fun. Send
us questions, y'all, just like keep them coming, email us,
go to the website, send us something on speak pipe.
Do y'all have any tradition traditions for the other loostos
right now? As a podcast, our tradition is every year
saying we're gonna like submit anout that for the Grand Park,
(39:17):
the other Moertos or the Hollywood Forever the other Motos,
and never doing it, but always talking about it.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
We've been talking about it since twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Actually that's our tradition. It's our tradition talking about an
altar and then not submitting.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Not doing it. We need a bigger team. There's just
two of us plus our lovely producer, but she just
does audio. Like we don't expect her to like event
plan with us, you know, and so she can't. So yeah,
that's that is our tradition.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
We have a lot of aspirations and dreams, but something
like building one of those out that is is it's
a lot of work. It's construction. Oh yeah, Like it's
a it's a big art installation.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
And we're not just gonna like throw something together. Like
it has to be an experience because that's what we
do here.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
That's what we do here, and at these events, the
altars are extravagant and they have a purpose and a
design and intention and a color scheme, and they're they're
huge and people go all out. So we can't just
come up with, you know, our little tablecloth and a
candle and call it a day.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
That's good for your home out that, but not for
like an installation piece exactly.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah, how about personally, do you have theos tradition?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Ah, Well, we build an out of that, and I'm
actually kind of dreading it this year. Tone shift obviously,
but this is the this is unexpectedly I am putting
my dog Glusko on the altar, and I am not
ready and very devastated and still grieving that loss. And
so I am, you know, in so many ways. Last
(40:49):
year was the first year that we put our cat
are my pet, mister Bean. He had lived with us
for about eighteen years, and that was his first year
going on the end, and that was, you know, very sad,
very beautiful, but an expected loss because he was having
some problems, some health problems. And then this year, you know,
(41:11):
just how unexpectedly we lost Gusco. I am just have
been grieving pretty intensely for the last couple of months,
and so that is just for me, Like as we
approach the holiday, I'm feeling very very sad, and you know,
of course, like there's the human loss, and you know,
(41:32):
I've lost people, several people in the last couple of years,
but I just again, like the way I lost Gusco,
and I haven't shared publicly, but he was hit by
a car and I have not gotten over it, and
I don't see myself ever getting over it, and so
it's just been really hard, really hard, and so yeah,
(41:56):
that is like something that I'm mentally preparing myself for,
especially on social media, like the way people build these
beautiful altars for their dogs. Even I'm like, oh, love
that for you. I can't. I'm not already.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
It's a lot. That's a lot of attention and like
thinking about the it's just a lot of focus and energy.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, I think it's a
beautiful tradition and we're still going to do it, and
as hard as it's going to be. I've actually been
thinking about going to I haven't been. I've strategically avoided
the street where he died, and so I have been
thinking about maybe doing like a public altar, if you will, yeah,
(42:40):
by the road, a little a little display, but we'll see.
I don't know if I'm actually ready for that, but
it's been in my mind.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
That's a beautiful way to remember him. We just recognized
the anniversary of my grandfather's passing a year ago, so
for the other and what thos will likely will light
some candles and you know, my grandmother likes to pray
the rosary, so maybe a little bit of that. The
other Moretos is also the same day as my friend
(43:09):
Lilia's birthday, so she always does something so that ends
up being kind of like what I am doing on
the other loss Morthos is somehow like celebrating her birthday
somehow if she's around.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
So yeah, that's lovely. It is.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
It is.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
It's like a it's like a to like a meeting
of two things of like birth death anniversaries, you know,
and a celebration, because that is what the other Martos is, right,
it is a celebration of of life and memory.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Very true, Yeah, very true. Yes, yes, yes, it's uh,
there's a lot of energy exchange there, back and forth
in a very beautiful way. Yeah, let's see what's next.
At what moment do you risk it all to follow
your dreams? I would say, don't risk it all. I mean,
(44:03):
be able to pay your rent and have like a
backup plan until you have something concrete coming in is
what I would say. It's okay to work and follow
your dreams, and sometimes that's what you have to do.
I don't know about risking it all. I don't know
if we've had a moment where we like risked it all.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
No, I think we made very strategic jumps, yeah, and leaps,
like the leaps came when they had to come. Yeah,
I think that we didn't. We didn't risk it all
until we knew there was a safety net because we
just weren't in a position to do that.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
No, because risking it all means what, oh, now I
can't pay my bills and now what Like you can't
follow your dreams? Takes money, is the other piece of it. Yeah,
And like getting work done being a creative, like it
takes money to get yourself together and to get yourself
out there and to build your portfolio and to get
work done, and so quite often you kind of have
(44:59):
to be self fun did anyways, and so how are
you going to do that? You gotta work. So I've
never been one to say, like, yeah, just take the leap,
I mean, put it on your vision board, work towards it,
you know, yes, but don't put yourself in like a
precarious financial situation that we're going to suffer from. And
then you can't focus on what you want to do,
(45:21):
Like you can't focus on the next thing if you're
just you know, if you have no idea how you're
going to pay your rent.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, that would be my same advice. Don't risk it all,
strategically risk it all, baby steps, little risks. Yeah, I agree,
I agree. Okay, final question, what advice would you give
to your younger self? Oh? Lord, have you seen that meme?
That's like do it for your younger self or think
(45:49):
of your younger self? And it's like, why would I
pay attention to a fifteen year old mentally ill girl?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Ah? Poor young me? What would I say to my
younger self? I would say to my younger self, Look, girl,
you're gonna get through it. Buck up, chin up, You're
gonna be okay. And I promise that older you is
gonna give you grace and understanding that I can promise, like,
don't be afraid to make mistakes because there's forgiveness on
(46:19):
the other side. And I'm not gonna throw you under
the bus. I'm gonna defend you. Like That's what I
would say to my younger self is like I got
you on the other side. I see you. You're gonna
be fine. And I'm like, now I'm getting emotional, like
I've got your back, like make your choices, like do
your thing, learn and like I'm gonna cover you like
(46:42):
you are protected.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Yeah, I love that. That's beautiful. Yeah, I would say
something similar, you know, like, it's okay to not be perfect.
It's okay to not know everything. And it's not your
job to take care of other people. Actually just a kid.
And when you're older, I got you. I will take
care of you, and I will nurture you, and I
(47:09):
will make sure your emotional needs are met. So it's
okay to make a mistake. It's okay to not have straight.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
A's ooh big one.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
It's okay to not have the highest GPA ooh big one. Yes,
Catholic schoolgirl here. It's hard. They're mean to us. It's
gonna work out, and you know what, the tattoos are fine.
You're your own boss. Now, it's cool. You got it.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Literally, nobody cares.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Nobody cares. My boss Mala said it was fine.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Get more.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Great questions, y'all, Yeah, thank.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
You so much for listening to another episode of lok
A Radio. This was a fun episode to make. We've
done some heavy episodes this season. Yes, it's nice to
take a moment to answer the questions. Connect with you
all in this way and also connect with each other.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yes, we laughed, we cried, we did it all. So
thank you for tuning in to another episode of look
at Radio. Till next time, Bespos.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Look at Radio is executive produced by Viosa Fem and
Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Stephanie Franco is our producer.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Story editing by Me viosa.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Creative direction by Me Mala.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Look At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Dura
podcast network.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
You can listen to look at Radio on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Leave us a review and share with your prima or
share with your homegirl.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
And thank you to our local motes, to our listeners
for tuning in each and every week.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Besitos Loca
Look at Our Radio is a radiophonic novela, which.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Is just a very extra way of saying a podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
I'm Fosa Fem.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
And I am ma la Munios. We're podcasting through another
Trump election year. We've been podcasting through election years, a
global pandemic, civic unrest, political controversies, the Me Too movement,
the rise of TikTok, and we are still here. We're
not done telling stories.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
We're still making podcasts. We're older, we're wiser, We're even
podcasting through a new decade of our lives.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Since twenty sixteen, we've been making Loca thro Our Radio
independently until we joined iHeartMedia's Michael Gura Network in twenty
twenty two.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
From Our Lips to your Ears, Fall in Love with
Loka to a Radio like you never have before.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome to Season nine. Love that first.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Listen Olao La Loka mod is. Welcome to season of
Lok a Dora Radio. I'm the Osa and I'm Mala
Loka Dora Radio is a podcast dedicated to archiving our
present and shifting the culture forward. You're tuning into Capitolo
Doo two nineteen.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Last time on Loca to Our Radio. We interviewed Aiden Castellanos,
the host of Susto, a podcast of uki spooky scary stories.
For sure.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
So one of the earlier ones that I remember that
isn't Lao Na, because I feel like that is the
like the go to right away for everyone. I tell people,
she's like the Beyonce of spirits, right, like everybody knows
who she is, everybody knows her story. But another one
that was really popular in my upbringing was the story
of the Girl who Downs at the Devil, and I think.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
That was centered around the folklore of LATINX and Hispanic cultures.
Tune into that episode. It's a good one. We learned
about a bunch of brand new horror stories that we
had never heard of before. We learn about why Aiden
calls himself a folklorist and more amazing.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
One of my favorites ever, I say that each of
a but it's true. One of my favorites.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Aiden is very knowledgeable, very storage.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I love when I love meeting someone that is like
an expert in something that you're like kind of know
about and they're like they know a lot about it.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
That's just always so fun. It's like you are so
well researched and well read, and you like love your
craft so much that you're just going to keep on
learning and super niche.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I love how In that episode, Aiden talks about the
legacy of ghost stories in the Rio Grande Valley specifically,
and that's sort of where he's drawing his inspiration from
to pursue this type of research.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Absolutely, it's very much folklore, scary horror at the intersection
of like she gotta studies, very fascina, which is probably
why we love it so much.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
There you go, Okay, you got us weer nerds.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
Tune in, tune in today. We're just we're answering some
oh you look ask questions. But before that we kind
of just want to check in, catch up. We haven't
really had a chance to talk to our look amis
in a while, so let's just get started.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Mala, what have you been up to the assie. You've
been busy as always.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
It's been a very busy couple of weeks. It's been
a busy year. It's been a busy couple of weeks.
It was just my birthday. That's a big one. I
turned thirty one, which is wild. Not that I feel
old or anything. I just was talking about this with
my mom. And you know, when you're a kid or
you hear stories right about like young girls that are
(03:33):
like when I'm twenty something, I'm going to be married
with babies and this and that, And I just never
saw my I never had that image of myself as
like an adult. And I don't know why. Maybe something
I need to talk about in therapy, who knows. But
and now it's like I'm fully in now officially in
my thirties. I've been thinking about it, like wow, okay,
(03:54):
like I'm in my thirties, I feel more self actualized.
I feel more confident in who I am, and feel
a lot more confident also in setting boundaries and like
letting go of that people please your identity. And I
don't know, so I'm thinking that thirties are great so far.
They're very challenging. I think you're thirty tried to take
me out. I went through like so many life transitions
(04:16):
and changes and loss, a lot of loss. So I'm
just welcoming thirty one and hoping that the universe is like, Okay,
we're gonna like chill on this one for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Yes, just let it breathe.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yes, I can't take any more.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Please, I didn't flow.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
I'm like enough character development, because your girl can only
take so much.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
The character is developed.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yes, please please give me a break. I need an intermission.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You're exiting your Saturn return basically at this stage.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Yes, yes, yes, my Saturn return has been complete for
about a year, I think so. Yes, please let it
all be done for a while.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I think the hard part's over.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
I hope, so, girl. From what do they say, from
your lips to God's ears?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yes, from your lips to God's ears to God's hearing. Aid,
there we go, turn it up God later, crank of
the volume.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
And to celebrate my birthday, I went to Vaya the
Wada Lupe in Baha with a couple of friends and
that was really fun. It was definitely a different type
of birthday in the sense that I like was a
mature adult that didn't get too drunk.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Amazing, I know. I mean last year we were hiking
to Machipia.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I think that might have said it. Yeah, like that
set everything in motion.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Yes, it's like a pivot on the way the birthday
is celebrated.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Yes, I have spent many a birthday not remembering, Yes,
and I loved that from my twenties. But as I
was sharing with you and a couple of our friends,
there was one birthday where I like didn't make it,
like I like had to go sleep on the couch.
Nine yeah, And I remember the next day like all
like I don't want to spend my birthday not remembering
(06:05):
and I don't want to spend my birthday asleep when
my friends are outside with each other. And so for me,
that was that moment where I was like, Okay, I
did that and I loved it. It's been fun, but
like I'm ready for something else totally. And so I
think I definitely took that energy into the birthday trip
where it's like I don't want to be passing out.
(06:25):
I don't want to be sick, Like I want to
have some wine, have some snacks, be with my friends,
and like take some nice photos, enjoy the ambiance.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
It's wine tasting, but not wine drunk, right, We're not slashed,
We're just we're sipping.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yes. And it's funny because you know, when I went
to UC Santa Barbara, and that is depending on your age,
and you know, if you're still an undergrad there is wine,
there are wineries, and you do wine tasting, but because
you're so young, you go to get drunk and it's
like cheap. It's like, oh, I can get like really
drunk on these wine tastings and it's like twenty dollars.
(07:05):
But if I do enough of them, I'm good. Yea right,
And so yeah, you know, we were like twenty and
like you don't know what you're doing, and so yes,
you're wine tasting to like actually taste the wine.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
And that's so mature, it's so elevated.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
I know, I know. I was proud of everyone. Nobody
like the gopas you know. It was definitely like a
trip where everyone was on the same page.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
That sounds lovely. Yeah, it was lovely and I couldn't
make it. But we've been talking about a trip to
Vaya for years and now, and then I couldn't go,
I know, so I was sad. I have grown accustomed
to celebrating your birthday with you.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh we've celebrated I think all of the birthday since
we've known each other together. Yeah, yeah, but you're busy.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah. I did go to your house with my tizza.
It did.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I had a small gathering with my friends that couldn't go,
and that was really nice.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, a small intimate, an intimate gathering of close friends.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I know. I kept telling everyone, like, this is not
a party, like don't dress up, don't bring anything, bring
yourself and like please like just hang with me. And
that's what we did. We had pizza, we had wine.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
It was lovely. We haet cake.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
It was great.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
You got presents.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
I got presents. What are they called the little Calico critters?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
They're so cute. I know, you got a bedroom set.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I did. I got a bedroom set, to my dismay,
but also with gratitude.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Because you have to like put up on put them
on a shelf for something.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I do, yes, And I you know, my best friend
Jackie has been supporting my Calico critter like kind of obsession.
But I'm very not willing to be fully obsessed or
commit to the obsession. And so you know, I'm like,
I don't have space. I'm also thirty one. I'm like
not trying to like be the girl with the little things.
But I love the little things, you know, I love them.
(08:52):
I love me some Hello Kitty. I think of like
Hello Kitty as like my Latina birthright, because like you
go to Mexico, go to my hand gool, there's Hello
Kitty everywhere were I'm like, oh, this is just I
was destined.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
At the Santa Fe Spring Swapmeat, the Hello Kitty vendor. Yes,
we bought things from her.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
We bought thingsats exactly exactly. So anyway, so she gifted
me a bedroom set for my little herky twins. I
know it's I know, it's so cute.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Though, you guys should see it came with bunk beds.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
It's a really adorable and a dk I don't want
to be known as the girl with the little thing.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Okay, but you know that that like Renaissance painting, the
girl with the pearl earring, you're the girl with the
little things.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
We need to put my things in my hand, my
little Hello Kitty, my Calico critters.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
You need a portrait, you know, acrylic of you need
a portrait. You need to sit for a portrait with
your things.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I cannot.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
I love it. I cannot.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yes, wow, And then finally I mean wrapping up Latino
Hispanic heritage man. I was asked to moderate a panel
by Info Blocks. They're a tech company and actually one
of my book club members, Kiki. She put me up
for this opportunity and I got to interview the fabulous
(10:13):
Willie Chavaria.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Amazing, amazing iconic. I'm so when you texted me that,
I screamed a little bit. I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
What. He's a Chicano designer from Fresno and very much
grew up with like farm worker family members, and his
designs and his personal brand paid tribute to that cultural
historical legacy. And so I got to talk to him
and he's just incredible, and so I hope we can
(10:44):
want to get him on the podcast and have him
talk to us as well, because it was just a
fabulous time.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
He has blown up and I always come across him
on TikTok, Like people are always interviewing him on the
street asking him about his outfit. His work is on
all the big runways, he's in all the major magazines.
Like he's becoming a fashion icon in the mainstream, Like
he really is hot, cature, but make it Chicano, make
it Fresno. But I think he's been New York based, right.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yes, he's New York based and he's also the current
senior vice president of design at Calvin Klein. So he's
really in the fashion world, so in it. In addition
to having his own brand that's his namesake, he's also
works for Calvin Klein.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I had no idea he was with Calvin Klein, all American. Yes,
that's incredible.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yes, I'm so honored that I was able to talk
to him, and hopefully we can get him on look
at Tora, Don't go Anywhere, Loka Motives. We'll be right.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Back and we're back with more of our episode.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
So, Maley, you have also been quite busy.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Yes, I'm in the throes of school. I'm in my
second semester of my MFA at USC. I'm studying Film
and Television production, and so this semester, the way it
works in this class as they put us in trios
and we take turns doing different jobs and we make
three movies in one semester. So for the first movie
of the semester, I was the cinematographer, I was the
director of photography, and I was our production designer. That
(12:16):
was a super duper fun experience. I've always been a
little timid with the camera, and there's a lot of
pressure in that job to make everything look good and
make sure things are in focus and that the frame
is perfect and that the director is getting everything that
they want. There's just a lot of people buzzing around
and a lot of details with the camera settings and
(12:37):
the lighting and continuity and X, Y and Z. But
doing that and the production design just gave me, like
I don't know, a really beautiful opportunity to blend, Like
I love a little interior design, so to blend that
with the camera work was really really fun. Right now
with the movie that we're making, I'm our producer, and
(12:58):
when you're producing a film in this class, you're also
the on set sound recordist, So I'm like handling the
mixer and I'm operating the boom, and then I also
have to edit the film. So they have us cutting
our dailies, which are the clips that we film over
the weekend. They have us cut our dailies and then
(13:22):
screen them in class in between shooting weekends, and then
our professors give us feedback, and then we go back
a second weekend and we do any reshoots or whatever
needs to be shot. So it's a lot of in
that producing work. It's like a lot of permits and
forms and insurance and scheduling and meals and keeping track
of cast and crew and everyone's allergies and who's a
(13:45):
vegetarian and where's everyone parking? And do we have our
film LA permit? And do we need a stunt coordinator?
And is there a fog machine? And like do we
need a production safety plan? Like it's a lot of paperwork.
But then I also get to turn around and edit,
which is also fun. And then the next film that
we make, I'll be writing and directing, and so stay
tuned because I have more about that one. I'm doing
(14:06):
a little horror film which is going to be very
fun and cute. So yeah, I'm just in the thick
of it. And then I have like a midterm exam
in this class called Motion Picture Script Analysis, and we
watch movies and then analyze them. So like I don't
carry any books in this program, like as a graduate student,
there's no books. But we are watching Finding Nemo in
(14:30):
class and the School of Rock and like doing an
analysis of the film as a text. So that's very
fun for me. And yeah, so that's what I've been
up to.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
That's really cool.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
I love when you send me photo updates and when
you just send me general updates about what's going on
in costs and what you're working on. That's exciting.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
It is very exciting. And like again in my role
as producer, like this film that I'm working on, we
have like one character breaks the other character's neck and
hit somebody over the head with a bat, and we
have like a fake bomb and a whip and blood
and rope and baseball bats. And I had to take
all of those prop weapons to campus to the Department
(15:10):
of Public Safety to get them inspected by the watch commander.
And then I had to take them to the physical
production office and it's like a whole thing. And I
get there and I like open up my bag and
the cop is like, okay, let's see these weapons. And
it's like, you know, rope and blood and a baseball
bat and like a sticks of dynamite from Amazon. Like
I just feel so silly, you know, like with my
(15:32):
Looney Tune ass bag of tricks. So, yeah, film school
is really fun and I'm very actually very excited for
the semester to be over because she's tired. But it's okay,
that's what it's all about. That's me.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, grad school is hard. And your program is a
lot longer than mine. So yes, blessings to.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
You, thank thank you. I will I will take the blessings.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Thank you and Bill, you know, obviously making the show.
And we're also hosting an event in collaboration with Sway
Studio on Thursday, October twenty fourth in la We will
be in conversation with Liliam Rivera. She is the author
of Tiny Threads and we're going to be talking about
her book and all things fashion, sustainability and the fashion
(16:24):
industry in general.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Love it. That's going to be really fun. Shout out
to our friend Sureley for coordinating with us to get
us involved with this event. We're really looking forward to it.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Yeah, I'm so excited to just be like out in
the world again as podcasters, you know what I mean.
Like the studio obviously is amazing, and the podcast is amazing,
but like doing actual events like we used to is
really fun and I missed that. So it's really fun
when we get to be like out and about.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
And we were at USC not too long ago, yes,
moderating a conversation and that was a great time. And
it's it's just really fun doing things with students and
speaking on campuses. When we were doing our university circuit
back in the day before the pandemic, it was just
always really fun and the energy is so high, and
(17:14):
they's a buzz when there's a student run event, and
it's always like the Latino Center or the Association of
Latin American Students and you know, all the acronyms, and
it's just fun.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
It's fun.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, they keep us young, they do. Thank god, something
something's keeping as young. It's the students, it's the youth
of tomorrow. The listeners, the listeners.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah. Yeah. So that being said, we actually have some
questions that were submitted today by our listeners in our
Locomotives channel on Instagram. So in case you missed it,
their Instagram now has this feature where you can join
a channel, and in order to do that, you just
go to our Instagram homepage and there's like a little
(18:03):
Locomotives Members channel that you can click and you can
join it. And really, I just like to share a
little behind the scenes photos and questions and let y'all
know when we're doing things. And so I posted a
question box in there and y'all submitted some very fun,
very interesting questions and so we're just gonna get started
(18:24):
and see how many we can get through.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
You are now listening to Oh yeah, so I love
this first one. How do I stop taking everything personally?
This one's hard?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
This it's hard.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
How do I stop taking everything personally?
Speaker 1 (18:44):
That's hard. It's hard, especially when you're sensitive like me.
But I think I sometimes I when I catch myself
doing this, I say to myself, it's actually not about you.
It's not about you, And in the kindest way to myself, say,
the world actually doesn't revolve around you, and how this
person is either responding to you right now, or how
(19:07):
maybe they're not prioritizing what's important to you. Whatever it
may be, like, it actually has nothing to do with you.
It has everything to do with them, truly, and where
they're at in their headspace. That doesn't mean like they
have the permission to be mean to you or unkind
to you, or treat you horribly or poorly. But there
are some things that aren't actually about you.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
It's even like in the way that we say this,
like taking it personally, it's not that someone's even giving
it to me personally. I'm just taking it and making
it personally.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yes, that's a good point.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
It's in my control how I receive something and how
I bring it into my own mind unless there's like
definitive evidence and proof that oh no, they actually hate me, yeah,
or they actually have a problem with me, but that
is that's rarely what happens.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah, And I also think it's like who is the person? Yes,
you know, is it your mom? Is it someone that
loves you and cares about you? Then like it's really
probably more about them, And if it's someone that doesn't
like you, then like, well you don't need to take
anything from them, actually.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Very much so. And like in life, people are gonna
not like you. Yeah, this is the other thing is
actually yeah, maybe they can't stand you. Yeah, but that
just comes with the territory of existing and being out
in the world and knowing people and meeting people. So
it's also just a hard truth we have to just
accept sometimes like I'm not for this person, and maybe
(20:32):
I leave them alone because I rub them the wrong way.
There's something about me that just doesn't mesh with them
and their vibe. And that's all right. I don't have
to dwell on it. It doesn't have to keep me
up at night. I mean, I'm gonna dwell and it
will keep me up at night, but I don't have to.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
Yeah, I think that's part of like letting go. Depending
if you're you have those people pleasing tendencies like a
lot of us do, right, especially me, It's like, Okay,
I'm not going to let this actually determine how I
view myself, as hard as it may be. And yes,
some people are not gonna like me, and that's a
hard pill to swallow sometimes, but there are lots of
(21:12):
people that do like you and do love you and
want to be around you. So be with those people.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, And if they don't like you, it's probably because
they're jealous, such.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
A like default Senora thing to say, Selos, they're jealous
of you because you're so beautiful and talented and smart
and they could never and that's why they don't like you.
There we go.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
They can't be in the same room with you, they
can't be next to you. They need a burlap sack
over your head because your shine is just too bright.
You should tell yourself in the mirror.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And we don't doll or shine for nobody. Don't go
anywhere lokomotives. We'll be right back.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
We're back with more. We hope you didn't go anywhere
all right?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Next question, what made you finally you prioritize yourself? Was
it a breaking point with people?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Have we prioritized ourselves?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
I don't know. I think we were doing better at it.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I think you're doing better at it.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, well I think you are too. I think I
think you moving was a way of you like prioritizing
yourself and like a new phase of your life, like
giving yourself that like independence to grow total. I answer
the question for you.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Yeah, definitely, moving, Definitely school. There's also been some personal,
very personal developments that have been going on that I
will not share it.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Am I allowed to say that it's romantic? Yeah, that's it.
That's all we need to say.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Not only is it romantic, it's incredibly romantic. Yes, it's
very romantic.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
It's old timy, it's very old.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Timey, like I've always wanted.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
It has been manifesting an old timey romance and now
she has it. But that's all we're saying because we're
protecting it.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
I will say one more thing. In the vegust of terms,
my mom was like, well, you know, this person needs
to go talk to your dad and ask for permission
to date you.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
It's that old timing, that old that's true. Actually, there's
that layer.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
There's that layer, and this is that case where like
a it's funny, but be this person is game and
see like it's actually appropriate, like it actually makes sense.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Yeah, it doesn't make sense here, Like no, you go.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Tell my dad, Yeah, you go knock on the door
and any who, AnyWho. That's all I'm going to say
is so that's all I'm going to say.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Okay, okay, okay, okay. So this is how you've finally
like prioritized yourself.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
By falling madly in love. Yeah, exactly, exactly how have
you prioritized yourself?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Oh my god? I okay. I have not shared this
story with very very many people. Mala obviously knows. But
I at the beginning of the top of the year,
I cosplayed as a single girl for a weekend. Nothing
to do with my amazing partner, but I just needed
to get away for a weekend because I was at
(24:03):
my breaking point and that kind of set things in
motion to change. And you know, sometimes you're around people
that are not willing to change for themselves, and so
and you begin to recognize, Okay, these people are not
going to change, so I have to change, and I
change my environment, I change myself. I changed my relationship
(24:23):
with these people, whatever that may look like. And so
that was my breaking point. My little single girl weekend ended,
and it wasn't really a single girl weekend, but I
like stayed alone for the weekend in another place, and
for me, that was me costplaying as a single girl.
And when I came back from that little getaway, you know,
(24:45):
I had a very difficult conversation with my family and
basically said, like, I'm whatever's going on here, I no
longer want to be a part of it, and so
I'm removing myself and by default, my partner is also
moving himself. And so take what you will with that information.
And things changed after that, and so I think that was, like, ugh,
(25:10):
big sigh, Like that was the biggest step that I
ever took to finally prioritize myself. But it was years
in the making. It was years of therapy, It was
all my twenties, all my life practically of like getting
to this point, and so it took a very long time,
but it was a process. It was a journey, and
(25:30):
you know, it was part of what made I think
this year, however you want to look at it, you're thirty,
my year, thirty twenty twenty four, like, we're really challenging,
but I think I'm on the other side of it.
There's still some challenges, but it was it definitely took
like getting to my breaking point to finally make some changes.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
Since I've known you, this particular issue has been an issue, right,
like a big one, yeah, you know, just recurring and
so to be at the and there had been conversations
previously about how to fix this, or how it could change,
or who would need to change, and how the house
would have to look different. And so then for this
(26:10):
this big shift to happen like this year, it's one
of those like, oh, it's happening.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's one of those things where you don't believe it's
happening until it's happened, and you know, the like I
hate just to speak in such vague terms. The reason
I'm not so specific it is because it's not just
involving me, right, it's not my my entirely my story
to share, which is why I haven't really talked about
it on the podcast or even on social media because
it's kind of it's private and it affects it's about
(26:37):
my family, and so you know, I just will say
that it was like a really tough couple of months
to get through, and then you know, I made it
through the other side, and I have no.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Regrets, and I do think the hardest part is over.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, thank god.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Yeah, it's got to be smooth from here on out.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yes, please, truly.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
All right, next, let's see what are you reaching for
and what are you letting go of? Oh my goodness,
right now, definitely just reaching for knowledge and learning and
just evolving as a creative and just really learning this
filmmaking stuff and then figuring out how to apply it
(27:19):
back to look at what our productions and then what
we can do with it. Because we've talked about what
can be adapted, like what can be adapted for the
screen in one way or another, and how can our
story also be told on screen somehow? Because we have
now all this audio and we've talked about the show
as an audio archive that is still what it is.
(27:41):
So we've archived all these years and all these ideas
and these thoughts and these interviews and these experiences and
I just think that the podcast itself is so ripe
for a different art form, you know, like to be
expressed in another way. So that's really kind of where
my mind is. And what am I letting go of? Man,
(28:03):
I'm just trying to let go of, you know. I
think over the years, I have evolved a lot as
far as my ideas about like my ideas about even
things like femininity and feminism and like the type of
woman I am or the type of woman I want
to be. And I think I'm letting go of like
maybe some more immature or like one dimensional ideas like
(28:29):
what like you know, I think we've talked about over
the years, how like you know, things like not wanting
kids right or waiting or doing it in your own time,
or but also we've had these conversations about like these
might seem like disconnected, like fem science, you know, and
how like the domestic space can actually be this place
of empowerment and such. And I'm just entering into this
(28:51):
era of like feeling my like soft girl vibes and
like finding the nurture in myself and like the lover
in myself and the caretaker in myself, which are categories
that I have sort of tiptoed around or like I
haven't touched Like I haven't always been a very like
(29:13):
touchy feely or emotional person, and maybe my emotions have
been more stuck to like like passion and excitement or
joy or like thrill seeking. But uh, I have stayed
away from like vulnerability, you know, like I'm not the
most vulnerable and I'm not the most like uh open
(29:37):
with like sharing my feelings and such. But I am
coming into this era where I feel like like the
ice queen is melting, you know, and like the armor
is being shed, like I am laying down my sword. Wow,
which is horrible. It's a horrible feeling, right, but vulnerable, Yeah,
but it also feels so great at the same time.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, when you can be safe and you feel safe
enough to do it, like it should feel good. It
can be scary, that's always gonna be scary, but it
shouldn't feel bad if it actually could feel good.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Yeah, Like somebody at school was like, oh my god,
you're glowing, like what's going on? And I was like,
you know what, I'm in love and it's awful, Like
I love it. But it's also like I feel like
this is very much one of those moments where it's like,
am I grieving? Low key? Like this is a new chapter. Yeah,
(30:35):
And so I'm sort of I'm shedding, I'm kind of
grieving a little bit, but also very happily letting go
and just kind of letting it. I'm just going with it.
I'm just letting it take me, and I'm not resisting.
I'm cooperating. I'm being very cooperative.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Yeah. I think that our whole lives are filled with
like a grieving process because we're constantly transforming and evolving, yes,
and so we're like constantly letting go of a version
of ourselves. And I think, on that note, I've been
talking about this with my therapist for on and off
for a couple of years. Is like, you know, kind
(31:11):
of grieving that the way my life was set up
and the type of person that I am, I was
never going to be someone that moved away from my family.
And I'm not saying that's good or bad if you did,
Like there's no judgment there, but it also because that's
not who I was raised to be, and maybe also
(31:32):
who I chose to be, because I could have just
said al Rajo I'm leaving, like y'all figure it out
by yourselves. That's not who I am. But there's that
part of me that's like, you know, who could I
have been? And who? Yeah, who could I have been
if I had done made some different choices? I think that.
I mean, I'm happy with my life and I'm happy
(31:53):
with where I'm at, but there is that question that
doubt of like could my life have been different if
I had maybe made a choices differently when I was younger.
And this is not to say that I regrets or anything,
but I think that to going back to what you're
saying about grieving and letting go, it's like, okay, letting
go that like, well, that person is can no longer be?
(32:15):
That person's gone, so like I cannot get stuck in
the what if? And should I? And instead, how can
I think about qualities that maybe that version of me
has She's somewhere out there, and how can I bring
her into my current life? You know, how can I
have some of those qualities that maybe I feel are
(32:36):
missing for me or from my life or what I want?
And you know, let them be, let them be here,
let them be present, as opposed to like thinking my mind,
letting going and wandering of like what could have been,
you know, like let's be here in.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
The present, because then it's like, oh, am I just
living in this nostalgia versus like living exactly my reality.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
And it's like you're not appreciate, eat what's right in
front of you, you know, and so and I think
that we can get caught so caught up in that,
especially if maybe there's unresolved feelings about something, you know,
whether that be a person or a situation, anything, you
can get stuck in that like that nostalgia and it's like, oh, actually,
(33:19):
you know, my life is fabulous, it's great. I've built
it to be this way, you know, So let me
be present here and love what's right in front of
me exactly.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
So important. Also, like if we just think about the
human brain and like memories, like our brain cannot retain
every detail of things that have happened in the past,
and we like fill in details like our minds, you know,
like our memories are kind of like fragmented together, and
so the nostalgia sometimes is not completely accurate. Yeah, you know,
(33:52):
it's like I remember these major things, but a lot
of this is kind of like being filled in and
it's almost guessing in some ways. But what we can
rely on more is, yeah, what's in front of us
now is much more trustworthy than what we're remembering.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Definitely, Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
So let's see what's next. If you could have lunch
with anyone dead or alive, who would it be? I
would much rather the person be alive that I'm having
lunch with.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Who would it be?
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Probably? I mean not to be cliche and corny, but
I mean probably Selena.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
You just said alive?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Oh she's dead. I forgot. I forgot she's dead for
a second. How sad?
Speaker 1 (34:31):
You know her memory lives on this?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
So okay? You know who would be fun? I mean
I think it's very easy to be like, oh, Beyonce. Right,
I don't actually know how fun she would be over lunch?
You know, Aubrey Plaza.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
That would be a fun lunch. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
I don't know if it would be fun, but it
would be okay because I don't think you know what
I mean, Like it's her like.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Right, you're not like laughing hysterically with each other. No,
there's some like witty banter going on.
Speaker 2 (34:59):
Maybe hopefully, I think she would be very very fun.
How about you.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
I am terrible at these types of questions. My mind
goes blank. So I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah, like, are there people in the world.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Yeah, there are no No one exists. There's no way
there's no one in the world right now that I
would have lunch with.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
I would have lunch with you.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
I was about to say, I would have lunch with you.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
We can get left.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Yes, there we go.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Great question, guys. Let's see can you do an episode
on women in their thirties and how that's still baby?
Speaker 1 (35:30):
Well, I love this questions so much, and you're right,
just love the phrasing.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Thirty is baby, thirty is baby, I'm baby, I am baby,
and that's it.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
That's it, that's baby.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Say no more.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Yeah, I don't know. I mean I guess there's that
expectation that like you're like a full grown adult when
you're in your thirties, right and so, but in so
many ways, like no, we're still everyone is still learning.
Everyone is still baby. I will be eighty years old
and still babies.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Oh even more so, I will.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Be even more of a senorita when I'm eighty.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Okay, absolutely, I mean we're just thirty something teenage girls.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Literally I think about that, and I think about too
God not to be so deep today, but I guess
here we are. I've been thinking about, like, you know,
the top of the episode, I was like, I don't
want to have all these little things. And I was like,
you know what, when I was a little girl, I
had lots of little things.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I saw your storage clean up.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, yes, I had little beanie babies, I had barbies.
Like I definitely had things, not like excessively, right, but like,
you know, my mom bought me things. And so I've
been thinking about that now as as someone in their thirties,
and how like everyone is like talking about like we're
tapping into our inner childs and I think, yeah, I
(36:48):
think a lot of us in our thirties we start
to feel safe again to be like I actually don't
care if anyone thinks this is weird or nerdy or
you know, immature. I like it and so cares. Yeah,
And it goes back to like not caring what people think,
doing it just for you, connecting with your inner child,
like all those things that I feel like we collectively
(37:09):
talk about online or women especially talk about online, and
it's like, yeah, just you're still baby. Just do it, Yeah,
have your little things.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Have your little things center play, like finding opportunities to
not be in charge and to not be in control
and to not make all the decisions and to like
not drive and you know, kind of not do anything.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
I think that's really important. And that's also very baby.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
He's very baby. I've been talking to Phenenmeno about that
too recently. I told him, like, you know, so much
of my day to day, I'm like scheduling things and
organizing things and making sure we're on track as a production.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
So she keeps us running.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
I keep us running, and I do it because that's
my that's my strength, right, and I'm okay, I'm okay
with that. That's my role. But I was telling him, like,
I actually don't want to pick where to go to dinner.
I actually don't want to plan a weekend away, So
can you take lead on that because my brain is
actually like exhausted. And I didn't realize how I was
(38:14):
feeling until I told him that. And it's like, you know,
I don't want to be in charge of a date.
Like I need you to do that, Like you need
to take lead on that from now on as he should,
as he should, and but then it's like, well, he's
not going to know that unless I tell him, right,
you know. So it's like I have to you have
to communicate or whatever. And so it's one of those
things where it's like, Okay, I'm baby, but I have
to let everybody know that I'm baby.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Yes, you have to be a very verbose, communicative baby
who states their intentions and their boundary exactly, very self
actualized baby, which is what it's all about. Yeah, it's
what it's all about. Great question.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
We're just like flowing through these questions right now. I
didn't think we were going to get through them.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
Oh yeah, lookaz, it's fun. Yeah, it's always fun. Send
us questions, y'all, just like keep them coming, email us,
go to the website, send us something on speak pipe.
Do y'all have any tradition traditions for the other loostos
right now? As a podcast, our tradition is every year
saying we're gonna like submit anout that for the Grand Park,
(39:17):
the other Moertos or the Hollywood Forever the other Motos,
and never doing it, but always talking about it.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
We've been talking about it since twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Actually that's our tradition. It's our tradition talking about an
altar and then not submitting.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Not doing it. We need a bigger team. There's just
two of us plus our lovely producer, but she just
does audio. Like we don't expect her to like event
plan with us, you know, and so she can't. So yeah,
that's that is our tradition.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
We have a lot of aspirations and dreams, but something
like building one of those out that is is it's
a lot of work. It's construction. Oh yeah, Like it's
a it's a big art installation.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
And we're not just gonna like throw something together. Like
it has to be an experience because that's what we
do here.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
That's what we do here, and at these events, the
altars are extravagant and they have a purpose and a
design and intention and a color scheme, and they're they're
huge and people go all out. So we can't just
come up with, you know, our little tablecloth and a
candle and call it a day.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
That's good for your home out that, but not for
like an installation piece exactly.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah, how about personally, do you have theos tradition?
Speaker 1 (40:26):
Ah, Well, we build an out of that, and I'm
actually kind of dreading it this year. Tone shift obviously,
but this is the this is unexpectedly I am putting
my dog Glusko on the altar, and I am not
ready and very devastated and still grieving that loss. And
so I am, you know, in so many ways. Last
(40:49):
year was the first year that we put our cat
are my pet, mister Bean. He had lived with us
for about eighteen years, and that was his first year
going on the end, and that was, you know, very sad,
very beautiful, but an expected loss because he was having
some problems, some health problems. And then this year, you know,
(41:11):
just how unexpectedly we lost Gusco. I am just have
been grieving pretty intensely for the last couple of months,
and so that is just for me, Like as we
approach the holiday, I'm feeling very very sad, and you know,
of course, like there's the human loss, and you know,
(41:32):
I've lost people, several people in the last couple of years,
but I just again, like the way I lost Gusco,
and I haven't shared publicly, but he was hit by
a car and I have not gotten over it, and
I don't see myself ever getting over it, and so
it's just been really hard, really hard, and so yeah,
(41:56):
that is like something that I'm mentally preparing myself for,
especially on social media, like the way people build these
beautiful altars for their dogs. Even I'm like, oh, love
that for you. I can't. I'm not already.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
It's a lot. That's a lot of attention and like
thinking about the it's just a lot of focus and energy.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you know, I think it's a
beautiful tradition and we're still going to do it, and
as hard as it's going to be. I've actually been
thinking about going to I haven't been. I've strategically avoided
the street where he died, and so I have been
thinking about maybe doing like a public altar, if you will, yeah,
(42:40):
by the road, a little a little display, but we'll see.
I don't know if I'm actually ready for that, but
it's been in my mind.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
That's a beautiful way to remember him. We just recognized
the anniversary of my grandfather's passing a year ago, so
for the other and what thos will likely will light
some candles and you know, my grandmother likes to pray
the rosary, so maybe a little bit of that. The
other Moretos is also the same day as my friend
(43:09):
Lilia's birthday, so she always does something so that ends
up being kind of like what I am doing on
the other loss Morthos is somehow like celebrating her birthday
somehow if she's around.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
So yeah, that's lovely. It is.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
It is.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
It's like a it's like a to like a meeting
of two things of like birth death anniversaries, you know,
and a celebration, because that is what the other Martos is, right,
it is a celebration of of life and memory.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Very true, Yeah, very true. Yes, yes, yes, it's uh,
there's a lot of energy exchange there, back and forth
in a very beautiful way. Yeah, let's see what's next.
At what moment do you risk it all to follow
your dreams? I would say, don't risk it all. I mean,
(44:03):
be able to pay your rent and have like a
backup plan until you have something concrete coming in is
what I would say. It's okay to work and follow
your dreams, and sometimes that's what you have to do.
I don't know about risking it all. I don't know
if we've had a moment where we like risked it all.
Speaker 1 (44:22):
No, I think we made very strategic jumps, yeah, and leaps,
like the leaps came when they had to come. Yeah,
I think that we didn't. We didn't risk it all
until we knew there was a safety net because we
just weren't in a position to do that.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
No, because risking it all means what, oh, now I
can't pay my bills and now what Like you can't
follow your dreams? Takes money, is the other piece of it. Yeah,
And like getting work done being a creative, like it
takes money to get yourself together and to get yourself
out there and to build your portfolio and to get
work done, and so quite often you kind of have
(44:59):
to be self fun did anyways, and so how are
you going to do that? You gotta work. So I've
never been one to say, like, yeah, just take the leap,
I mean, put it on your vision board, work towards it,
you know, yes, but don't put yourself in like a
precarious financial situation that we're going to suffer from. And
then you can't focus on what you want to do,
(45:21):
Like you can't focus on the next thing if you're
just you know, if you have no idea how you're
going to pay your rent.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, that would be my same advice. Don't risk it all,
strategically risk it all, baby steps, little risks. Yeah, I agree,
I agree. Okay, final question, what advice would you give
to your younger self? Oh? Lord, have you seen that meme?
That's like do it for your younger self or think
(45:49):
of your younger self? And it's like, why would I
pay attention to a fifteen year old mentally ill girl?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Ah? Poor young me? What would I say to my
younger self? I would say to my younger self, Look, girl,
you're gonna get through it. Buck up, chin up, You're
gonna be okay. And I promise that older you is
gonna give you grace and understanding that I can promise, like,
don't be afraid to make mistakes because there's forgiveness on
(46:19):
the other side. And I'm not gonna throw you under
the bus. I'm gonna defend you. Like That's what I
would say to my younger self is like I got
you on the other side. I see you. You're gonna
be fine. And I'm like, now I'm getting emotional, like
I've got your back, like make your choices, like do
your thing, learn and like I'm gonna cover you like
(46:42):
you are protected.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Yeah, I love that. That's beautiful. Yeah, I would say
something similar, you know, like, it's okay to not be perfect.
It's okay to not know everything. And it's not your
job to take care of other people. Actually just a kid.
And when you're older, I got you. I will take
care of you, and I will nurture you, and I
(47:09):
will make sure your emotional needs are met. So it's
okay to make a mistake. It's okay to not have straight.
Speaker 2 (47:16):
A's ooh big one.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
It's okay to not have the highest GPA ooh big one. Yes,
Catholic schoolgirl here. It's hard. They're mean to us. It's
gonna work out, and you know what, the tattoos are fine.
You're your own boss. Now, it's cool. You got it.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
Literally, nobody cares.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Nobody cares. My boss Mala said it was fine.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
Get more.
Speaker 1 (47:43):
There we go.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Great questions, y'all, Yeah, thank.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
You so much for listening to another episode of lok
A Radio. This was a fun episode to make. We've
done some heavy episodes this season. Yes, it's nice to
take a moment to answer the questions. Connect with you
all in this way and also connect with each other.
Speaker 2 (48:05):
Yes, we laughed, we cried, we did it all. So
thank you for tuning in to another episode of look
at Radio. Till next time, Bespos.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
Look at Radio is executive produced by Viosa Fem and
Mala Munios.
Speaker 2 (48:21):
Stephanie Franco is our producer.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
Story editing by Me viosa.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Creative direction by Me Mala.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
Look At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Dura
podcast network.
Speaker 2 (48:32):
You can listen to look at Radio on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
Leave us a review and share with your prima or
share with your homegirl.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
And thank you to our local motes, to our listeners
for tuning in each and every week.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
Besitos Loca
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