May 21, 2025 • 47 mins
In this week's episode, Diosa and Mala unpack what it means to "crash out"—a sudden, often public unraveling of someone’s mental, emotional, or social state. But what exactly does it mean to crash out? And how is it any different from a meltdown? Diosa and Mala reflect on deeper generational shifts in how we process—and perform—mental health crisis.
For additional mental health resources: 988lifeline.org, NAMI, Crisis Text Line.
Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/locatora_productions
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Look like God alreadyo.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
O lao la look more is I'm Viosa.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
And I'm Mala And I have noticed recently that the
TikTok crash out is like the newest most popular genre
of reality television.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
What have you been seeing?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I've just been seeing so much content from creators on
TikTok who post themselves in states of like clear crisis.
But the number of people that tune in like post
after post, as if it's like an episode of TV unfolding.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Right, there's a certain voyeurism to it.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, and like garnering millions of views, comments are always
like a mixed bag. Are they supportive, are they hating?
Are they making fun? It's a little bit of everything,
and I've just been seeing so much of it, especially
on TikTok, in particular with with the young people.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
M the young people. Well, more on that in a
little bit, but let's talk about how we climax and cried?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I sweet, But first, how did we climax and how
did we cry? Do you want to get us started?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Well, I just want to note that that Heen is
in the studio with us today. He is, so he's
kind of walking around. If I hold him, you'll hear
his panting, so you might hear him walking around, but
just that's just the vibe today.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
We have a little furry guess.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, he's the star.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
We have a little furry friend. He's been in look
at though out projects before on camera.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yes, he has been. He has been. So I decided
to bring him today to get him out of the
house for a little bit. If anyone has a Pomeranian,
you know that they are not good with children. And
my mom is babysitting and so he's just so I'm like,
let's get him out and let's bring him to the studio.
He's never been.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Do they get territorial with the kids or like he
wants the attention that the kids are getting.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
My theory is that Pomeranians have Napoleon syndrome and so
the little children are like close.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
To his size.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Okay, so he's like a little threat and buy them.
I'm not sure, but he is just not good with them.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
They're like other little creatures invading his territory.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, yeah, so that's why he's joining us today. But
in terms of climax and cry, well, let me start
with my climax, Like, well, yes, let me start with
my climax. I was one of eight hundred runners that
ran from Altadina to the Palisades. Now, before you get
too impressed, it was a relay, so I did six
(02:28):
miles and I was in a team of five, so
each of us did about six miles. So the organizer
of this event, Silver Lake Track Club, shared with us
on Saturday morning that they raise fifty thousand dollars collectively
and that money is going to various wildfire relief organizations,
like our friends over at Endelon, the National Day Labors
(02:50):
Organization Network, and so that was really cool. And so
it was just a really beautiful experience being out in
the community running with a bunch of runners with this
one cause in mind. And obviously races tend to have
this philanthropic component to it, but this just felt so
different because it was going to the wildfire relief. So
(03:11):
that was I think my climax for the week.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That's fabulous. And it was a relay. Did you guys
have batons?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
We didn't have batons, but I did see other groups
have batons and they were really fun ones, Like I
saw like one of those plastic fake chickens ha ha.
I saw like a little critter. They're called like Smiski's
I think that's how you pronounce it. And they're just
like little little like men, like little figurine like little
bodies that have a little face and they're green. Oh
(03:39):
and they're just tiny. And so I saw one one
team have that. So that was cute.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh, very fun. That sounds like a great time running
for a cause.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Absolutely. How about your cry?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
My cry? What is my cry for the week? Oh,
there's so many things to cry about. Oh no, so
just generally speaking, just state of the world, Elon musk
Ai all of it, rfk Junior. I'm just like I'm
sad about it all the time. So I mean that's
(04:11):
near my general answer for the week.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Yeah, it is dire. It is dire, but I feel like,
you know, we lived through nine to eleven.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yes, We've lived through lots of things. I think just
my sadness comes from so much being dismantled at a
policy level, and so I'm like, yes, we will survive
this historic event, these quote unpreceded times that like we've
been living through. It's all unprecedented, like for whatever group
is living at the moment. But yeah, I think more
(04:41):
so that's what I've been sad about PBS NPR, like
all that funding. I saw a couple of bookstores arts
organizations that had their funding cut because they were receiving
grants from the National Endowment of the Arts. So like midyear,
they're like funding is being cut and so or their
(05:02):
grants are being withheld, like just kidding, we're taking this back.
So it's just a very dire time for the arts
right now and just for this country for funding, and
so that's definitely been on my mind this week.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, the arts and education. I saw also that Donald
Trump wants to cut the federal grad plus loans in
twenty twenty six. So if you want to go to
graduate school and you're thinking about taking out educational loans,
do it this year because they might not be available
(05:35):
come twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah. I mean, I still have my student loans from
undergrad and I have been a little on edge about them.
They're small enough that I can pay them off. But
at the same time, I was kind of hopeful that
student loans were going to get canceled during the Biden administration,
so I was like, I'm going to just pay the
minimum because what if they get canceled. I'm just going
(05:56):
to keep it, pushing pay the minimum. And now we
know that that's not happening. And so I logged into
my student loan portal and they were no longer there.
They were sold to another company. They're quote in forbearans,
and I'm like, what does that mean? And so apparently
that just that's what they call it when they're sold
to another company, and so they're not delinquent, but just
(06:19):
the whole thing is just unnecessarily stressful.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah. Yeah, you and I both with the student loans.
I'm sure lots of our listeners are.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Oh yeah, we never really talked about that. God, but
because it's one of those things where you stuff it
down under, you do not. I do not want to
talk about this.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, but we have loans. We have plenty of loans,
and I'm accumulating more and that's fine. We'll see what happens.
Those are really good climaxes and christs.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
It's all in the name of education. Something I think
both of our parents instilled in us was like pursuing
higher ed and my dad growing up San Medico, he
always told me like and so that was like something
that was really important to him that we like pursued
higher education. I don't think you should like go into
(07:05):
debt like by any means necessary. But I also don't
think like funding should be a reason you don't go
to school.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh of course. Yeah, it's this unfortunate reality in the
United States in particular, that tuition money is a barrier. Yeah,
and access to funding to pay that tuition is a
barrier to entry for a lot of fields. I mean, like,
I was just learning about this board exam that my
friend Liliah has to take, and just to schedule the exam,
(07:34):
it costs nine hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
You know that's just to like get a date on calendar.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And there's other fees and then if you don't take it,
or if you fail, you have to take it again.
It's just like and that's one one test in the
in the grand scheme of the whole like med school journey.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
But AnyWho, how did you climax? How did you.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Cry onto me? Mike? Climax is my climax. I feel
is on its way, okay, because I'm going to EADC
this weekend, which is my first rave. I've never been
to a rave. And I'm going to DC for the
first time with my partner. We're very excited. We've been
getting ready basically since November, and the prep and all
(08:15):
that has just been really fun and we're really looking
forward to it. He also he went to EDC when
he was like a senior in high school, when it
was at the.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
College the coliseum when people died.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yes, when people died, because then it got.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Osted because the following year wasn't the first time they
did it in Vegas, And I went.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Oh, did you really? What was that? So it was
the first year in Vegas? What was that?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Like? Well, I was not even eighteen. I like, use actually,
let me not incriminate myself. I was not eighteen, but
I went. And I think because I wasn't a raver,
it was just like it was fun. It was fun
for that age, you know, and like being up all night,
but you know, I wasn't like partaking in the things
that people do at rave.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Oh I think that also, you know, made it like, Okay,
I'm tired, let's two three am, let's go.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah. It's what I've been told is it's a marathon
of an experience. It's three days and you basically are
sleeping all afternoon and all morning and then like heading
out to the rave. That's Vegas, like at six pm.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
That's Vegas for you.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
And I don't really do Vegas. I've never been to Vegas. Girl.
I know it's like it's like the thing to do
for a lot of people, like.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
A write a passage for some people.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah. I went to Vegas a couple of times, maybe
in my early twenties with my friend and my sister,
but it never really appealed to me.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yeah, there are some people, like I have family members
who love to go to Vegas. They have their annual trips.
That's like never been my style either.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah, I'm excited for you, thank you, thank you. I
will report back. Yes, I have my looks, I have
my outfits.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, are you going to tease any of the outfits
like on socials? Are you gonna wait or are you
going to show anything? You know what?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I kind of did tease an outfit already because when
I went to Cowboy Carter, I wore pieces that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Was a fabulous look, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I wore pieces of my like Saturday edc look with
like this denim jumpsuit cue so that was kind of
a tease of its own. And then I'll wear the
full thing and post it.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What is your cry for the week?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Oh my god, my cry for the week? You know, Okay,
let's be frank. We've been talking like podcasting stuff. Yeah,
and like we you know, I think we try and
share here and there, like growing pains and being like
entrepreneurs and self employed and working in the podcasting industry
(10:44):
and doing all the things that we do is fabulous
and so fun. But there also are these like obstacles,
and these moments were like, Okay, we have to like
make an assessment, yeah, and make a pivot and game
plan and take action. And so the podcast is in
this like moment of pivotal like like nothing but opportunity
(11:07):
for growth first of all, Yes, but it's a in
a moment where like we're pivoting.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah. I don't want to put too much pressure on us,
but it does feel like a pretty big year in
like both the positive and like in a challenging way,
you know, And so I.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Feel that, Yeah, so you know, just there's work to do,
that's all.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
There's always work to be done.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
There's always work to be done. But I mean it's good.
You know, it's good. It's like a living thing is
gonna grow and you go through its ups and downs.
That means it's live. Yeah, there's blood pumping. So yeah,
more from us, more from us, we're teasing news.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah. Also on social oh yeah, more to come. This
is I think the most not growth, but I guess
newness that we're bringing to not just look at thought
a radio, but just as a production company. And so
with that, it's I think we've in some ways wanted
things to look a certain way or like be perfect,
(12:09):
or just you know, wait for the right opportunity. But
I think what we've learned in the last couple of
weeks especially, is like you just have to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
There are actually a lot of people that have been
in the industry for less years that are putting out projects,
that are putting out opportunities, and I don't know what
we've been waiting for. I mean, I know why. Internally,
we know why. But it does kind of give you
that point of reflection of is like, all right, let's
just do it. Then everyone else is doing something, let's
do it too.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah. We've had a lot of ideas in the works
over the years. Like we've been ideating for a long
time and we've put out a lot of work. I mean,
I'm still really proud of Senora sex Ed and having
two shows. Oh yeah, you know at iHeart is no
small feat. But there's more, more, more to do, more
to come.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Don't go anywhere, lokomotives. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And we're back with more of our episode.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
All right, well, thank you for listening to Climax and Cry.
Let's get into o Ye.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Lookas you are now listening to oh ya now.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
This question was submitted to us on our social media
channel on Instagram called look Amos. You can join for
more bts and also submit questions to Oya Lookas. This
question is how do you keep up with self maintenance
like nails, hair, skin, makeup? All of my life, I've
been a low maintenance girl, but I'm changing.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I love that I am changing. You have always been
really good with that is like always going in for
your lash fills and getting your nails filled and doing
it on a regular basis.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yes, yeah, I am a high maintenance person. I don't
consider it high maintenance because it just feels like this
is just who I am and this is just a
part of me. Something I've been kind of not laughing.
Something I've been kind of sitting with and I say
this kind of playfully but also seriously, is like I
have to keep my nails forever because with kind of
(14:12):
this puritan conservative culture, you know, coming back in terms
of fashion, I'm like, oh, I have to keep my
nails long, Like I can't have short nails. As it's
a political statement now. I mean it's always been, but
especially now because I have been feeling like I'm lifting more,
I'm playing tennis, Like maybe I should shorten my nails.
Maybe I should do something a little more low key.
(14:34):
That is not who I am, and it is a
political statement for me. It's an extension of my politics. Right,
We've talked about Femi's politics for a long time. So
I think for that reason, it doesn't feel like, oh,
I gotta go do this. It feels like, Okay, I
get to do this, Like to have the luxury to
do my hair. I've been a redhead for three years.
That's not inexpensive, that's not a cheap thing to do,
(14:56):
and I've made it work. And yeah, that's how it
feels for me.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, I am a really appreciate your consistency. It's because
I know that it's like it's scheduling and its work
and it's time and it's money. Me personally, like I
am getting back into my nails and lashes, which I've
always dabbled in here and there, but I feel like
I've been more of like I'll do the nails and
(15:23):
the lashes if there's like an occasion, if there's an
event maybe, But I've always always also been a fan
of the strip lash. You know, it's there when you
need it and at the length that you want it
and just for the for the night, you know. I
also have like such anxiety about like personally, like I've
(15:43):
I've always had a lot of anxiety about like the
false lashes, pulling out my natural lashes and then being
stuck in a cycle of feeling like I need to
constantly get lashes put on because I'm losing my natural
lash right, and like that's a cycle that terrifies me
that I know want to be a part of. Yes,
you know, and I know, and my mom has been
(16:04):
wearing false lashes every week for decades because she performs
on stage. And so I've also always like learned from
her and watched her as far as giving her lashes
like a chance to recover totally, you know, and like
letting them go back and like doing the latis and
all that stuff, because like all that is so delicate,
(16:26):
you know, And then we hear stories about like, oh,
like women who overpluck their brows and they never go back.
These things just have always maybe nervous, but.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yes, that's that was the thing. Well, yeah, I also
feel like lashes are the one thing I'm okay with
letting go where I'm like, I kind of I go
through that cycle as well. And it's actually it's been
harder for me to wear contacts because of the lashes.
That's why I wear glasses a lot. Yeah, and I
think it's because I'm blinking less. This is my my
non medical professional opinion.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
You blink less when you have the lashes.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
This is what I'm thinking, Like, my eyes are getting
dryer because of the lashes. Interesting, so that's why contacts
bother me. Now, Oh is my thought process.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It's just a lot going on, yes on one little
eye or little eyeballs. Yeah, but they're beautiful, but like
they're beautiful and you always look like done.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yes, that is That's what keeps me going.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
You always look done and you don't have to do
like a full face of hair.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah. You know, my mom used to dye her eyebrows
back in the nineties, and my mom has lost a
lot of like almost all of her eyebrow hair, right,
and it is something that she's self conscious of. So whenever,
like I go to the salon and they're like, do
you want to dye your eyebrows to match your hair,
I'm like, no, I will color them in.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Now.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
There's so many reasons, like she could have lost her
eyebrow hair. Yeah, but that is one of the things
she feels like, Wow, I wonder if it was the
hair dye because it was meant for her scalp not
for face.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely, And all those little hairs everything is
just so delicate and all little follicles are delicate. So
I don't know, I feel like, obviously do you, yes,
always do you? And whatever fits your lifestyle. Yeah, like
with school and like handling equipment. The nails were not realistic, yeah,
(18:13):
and yeah, but I love them, you know, And I
just feel so polished when I have everything done, so
I think enjoy it and like have fun with it.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
There's also I think, I mean, in addition to the economy,
there's been a rise of press on nails, and that
just feels like a low maintenance trick, similar to the
strip lashes. You have them when you want them. You
don't have to be committed to them for like a
full cycle of a set. You can just pop on
the press ons.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah. And I've been seeing a lot of beautiful brands,
oh yeah, with gorgeous options and like long ones. You know,
it's not your like your CBS brand.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
No, there's like designer press on nails now.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, and I feel like they're getting pretty good with
the adhesive they.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Are, They're getting better. Yeah, that's what I would worry.
During twenty twenty, I was wearing press ons because I
wanted to feel like a little semblance of myself.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, so it would pudemic.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, I would put press ons on because I wasn't
going to the nailsal on like many of us, and
that did make me feel like a little put together.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, absolutely, So thank you for that question. I think
it's it's on the minds of a lot of a
lot of batties. Yes, we love it. It's okay to
take a break. It's always going to be there. The
beauty industry is not going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
No, no, if anything, if you're going to splurt on anything,
in my opinion, get a facial. That's the one thing
I think, like, if you're going to give yourself only
one luxury, is like, get the facial. Because depending where
you live, I mean anywhere you live, there's pollution, if
you're working out, there's just our skin barrier gets damaged.
And I think that that's one good splurge if you
want to call it a splurge, Like if you can
(19:48):
only spend on one, I think it should be the facials.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, like good skin, glowing skin is going to like
take you farther than most everything else.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Agreed, I agree with that. Don't go anywhere, lokomotives.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
We'll be right back, and we're back with more of
our episode.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Well, let's get into today's topic.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Oh my god, So today we're talking about the millennial
breakdown and the gen Z crash out. We're seeing similarities,
we're seeing there's like a trajectory, there's like a timeline
here from millennial breakdown to gen Z crash out. And
we're just gonna like talk through it because we've been
noticing some things.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, I mean, and let's define crash out. What is
a crash out?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So from what I've seen on TikTok, it can mean
a couple different things.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Okay, it can be used as a noun, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Sometimes the girlies post oh, like in reference to themselves,
when you're a retired crash out and blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Okay, this meaning I used to lose it, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
And freak out on people or myself back in the day,
but now I don't. Okay, that's my understanding. So that's
a noun. It's self referential. I've also seen it as like, oh,
this is an experience someone is having. Someone is crashing out.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Okay, they're like.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Unwinding, they're unraveling, they're having some type of a meltdown.
And at this point people are posting their own crash
outs and putting them right online. So that's my understanding.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, so definitely rooted in like a mental health crisis
is how I've understood it. There's a lot of different
ways folks online talk about mental health crises, like the
crash out, the mentib.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
The mentib r.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so but like calling it what
it is in simple terms, it is a mental breakdown.
It's a mental health crisis.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, And I think that's what's what's interesting is the
the content and oh, this is a crashout. It's entertaining.
Sometimes people find it funny. A lot of these video
will garner lots of views. I remember when Gaby Hannah,
who is like a musician slash like influencer, Gabby Hannah,
(22:08):
had a very public what would be described as a
crash out, and like many many videos, many posts, many episodes,
and after a while, you see in the comment and
the comments folks starting to sort of the tone shifts
and it goes from like, oh, like, you know, we're
hating on Gaby Hannah. We think she's like I don't know,
(22:31):
we think she's ridiculous too. We think that she's not okay,
and she's like clearly in the middle of a mental
health crisis.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And then at some point, for those who were following,
because I was following, I was watching, at some point
somebody who was watching all this happen and all her
posts online showed up at her house and got into
her home and then there's a video of her realizing like,
oh my god, this is a random person, get out
of my house. Okay, So it was like it was
(23:02):
a really wild time. She's not the only one. I
think that there's like just more private people who end
up opening TikTok accounts and posting like their unraveling. But
then we have like these other celeb and like creator types,
like a Nikita Dragon for example.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Right, And I haven't really followed these like celeb quote
crash outs on TikTok or Instagram. They just don't really
reach my algorithm. But sometimes I learn about them after
the fact. And I was reading about or I was
watching a video about Justin Bieber allegedly having a crash
out after Selena Gomez's engagement announcement in her album all
(23:46):
of that, and that was when I kind of started
seeing like, oh, he's having like a mental health crisis.
But I couldn't actually track down like the original videos,
and I like wasn't really going to deep dive into it.
But that was when I started kind of picking up like, Okay,
wait a second, we're talking about it in different ways now.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, absolutely, when we were younger, it was not a
crash out. The term was.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Breakdown, breakdown. This celeb had a breakdown and it was
captured by paparazzi usually.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Usually Yeah, I think Justin Bieber was also like a
paparazzi situation more recently. But I do feel like I
don't know if he was posting himself per se.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Okay, okay, but but yes, I.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Feel like if you're an A lister, the paparazzi are
still out there. Oh yeah, and now people who are
not a list celebrities are almost their own paparazzi.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yes. It it's a part of the surveillance state, right
where we're just so happy to like film ourselves us included, right,
we include ourselves in that we're so happy to put
our lives on display in these ways, and for some
people that even include like these mental health breakdowns, these
quote crashouts.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's fascinating and like we were talking
about this when we were prepping for this episode about
like Britney Spears just being straight up stocked, followed, harassed,
like she couldn't go anywhere without paparazzi following her, taking
photos of her, taking videos of her in her lowest
(25:21):
moments right right, And I think that that still happens,
But I don't think there's ever been a time where
like otherwise anonymous people, yeah, would have their mental health
crisis projected for millions of people to see.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
That's a really good point because even someone like Britney Spears, right,
there was the free Britney movement to remove her from
her conservatorship, and then she was removed from her conservatorship
started posting online and people could not handle I think
for her mental state no where. It's like we wanted
I think in their minds, not we Mala and I,
(25:58):
but it's like in their minds they wanted a quote
free Brittany, but they wanted still wanted her to be
like the polished pop Brittany, pop Brittany when actually, like
this woman has so much healing to do. And so
we're then because she has a celebrity status, we're like
uncomfortable by the quote crash out or this like mental
health breakdown online. Yeah, And I think that we also
(26:20):
see that with like these influencers or just online folks
that have like big followings or not, like sometimes things
just go viral.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah. Also, what's been interesting for me to observe. Okay,
so there's somebody that I know who also has had
their own social media platform of sorts, who is recently
posting a lot of very concerning videos of themselves in
a clear like state of like crisis. But because of
(26:51):
this person's sort of branding and the type of following
that they've cultivated over the years, it's very interesting to
see in the comments some follow like no matter what
this person says or does, or the accusations they make
about other people, or like the comments they make about
themselves that are just clearly like histrionic and like delusional,
(27:15):
because of the type of following that they've cultivated, there
are there are are commenters followers who are still extremely
supportive and like validating through the things being said.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
You know, they're maybe not seeing it for what it is, yes, right,
with that kind of objective lens of like wait, maybe
this person is not doing okay, Like this.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Person needs to go to the hospital, right, this person
is unwell. That was fascinating for me to observe that
you can almost have people who are are such big
fans of what you're doing that they're not seeing when
actually you're deeply unwell, and it's like the blind support yea,
you know, which I think feeds into this sort of
(27:59):
like cycle of then you're in a state of crisis,
you're posting, getting a lot of feedback and attention and views,
We're going to post more. It like feeds. Yes, the
mainia the delusion.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Because social media does have that dopamine effect, right like
you do. Your brain does get something out of being online,
the out of posting, out of the validation. I even
catch myself sometimes like I'm feeling really insecure today, I'm
feeling like I want affirmations, and instead of texting my
friend group, I'm like, let me post to strangers. Yeah,
(28:32):
And then I have to be like, wait a second,
hold on, girl, Yeah, maybe that's not the move. Post
because you want to post, but posting because you maybe
want an external validation because you're feeling sad today, you know,
is maybe not the best thing for you right now.
And so I think there's all these different levels to it.
Right There's like maybe something more extreme of like a
quote crash out having a mental health crisis online, and
(28:52):
then there's the maybe a quote lesser where you're seeking
external validation because of that dopamine effect, which is still
tied to like our mental health and our brain and
how we function.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, and in both instances, whether it's seeking support or
attention for a crisis or seeking validation, it's going to
the same place where you are not going to find
what you actually need. Oh yeah, right, it's just it's
something else. It's a third thing. It's not help and
(29:24):
it's not true like love and support. It's engagement. Yes,
it's engagement, and so people are like engaging with the
need or the call or the post what have you,
but the issue is not being addressed.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
And on the flip side, like, for folks watching this
type of content, why do you think we as we
like the royal we as a society because we're all
in this, we're all on social media. Maybe we don't
consume it ourselves, but why do we What is the
attraction to this type of content? We talked about voyeurism
(30:02):
at the top of the episode, right, is it like
does it make us feel better about ourselves? Like, oh,
we're not look at how sad they look?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Can't lie? Sometimes it does make it feel better about myself. Yes, actually,
like okay, things might be tough, but they're not here,
So they're not here. That's horrible. But I think I'm
just being honest, can't help it. That's that's sometimes an
immediate like who I hope they get everything they need,
and I hope that if I was in this type
of a state that my loved ones would like say
(30:32):
something and intervene and step in. But I also think
it's the same phenomenon watching a crash out on TikTok
and like tuning in is not that different from watching
a crash on the freeway, and how traffic.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Always slows, always stops the looky loose.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
No matter what. Yeah, no matter like the size of
the crash, the traffic always slows down because people want
to get a look at the crash. It's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
I think that is like a right of Like it's
like a train crash. I can't look away. Yes, I
want to look away, but I can't.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I can't. Why do we watch horror films and people
get mutilated? I mean, it's this very strange thing that
that clicks in the human mind when we see chaos
and carnage.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, it's very dark, very dark. I mean I think
that that raises a question like, does it give us
control or does it give us the illusion of control,
either by making this type of content or just filming ourselves,
and then it becomes content because maybe it's not with
the intention of it being content, but like you said, oh,
I'm posting it and people are engaging, so I'm going
(31:37):
to keep posting it, and so then it does become content.
So does it give us an illusion of control or
does it actually give us control?
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I think is the question.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yes, And control of what? Maybe control of the way
that you're.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Viewed, control of self. Maybe it feels like the only
thing you can control. I can post this online, I
can take it down if I want to, not really
write on social media anymore. You can like screen record anything.
But there is I think maybe this sense of control, Yeah, a.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Sense of control and maybe hoping maybe someone out there
will see this and will have the answer. Yeah, maybe's
one of these millions of people. Yeah, will give me
the help that I need, I will say.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
I mean, I'm obviously, I think a little older than
the gen zs and the folks that we've seen do this.
But when I had my own mental health breakdown not
that long ago, the first thing I did was call
a hotline because I didn't even call my friends because
I was like, this is too heavy. I know my
friends are there for me and they will pick up
the phone if I need it, but I need to
talk to a professional. And actually didn't go that far
(32:42):
because as I was texting the hotline, I was like,
I think just doing it kind of like calmed my
nervous system. And I was like, Okay, I'm fine. I
need to work through this and I need to make
a game plan for the situation that I'm in right now,
but I have a handle on myself. And then I
texted my friends after I was like, in a commerce
sense state of mind, but that's me. I'm also they're
(33:04):
very therapized. My immediate thought was not like let me
film myself crying, right, you know, but there is it's
so normalized that I do see why people do it.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yeah, it's very normalized. And I think that's a reminder.
Call a hotline. Yeah, get into therapy, go to the hospital, like,
go see a doctor, Go speak to a mental health professional,
look up an organization like NAMI. You know, there are
resources out there. TikTok itself is not a resource. It
might lead you to resources, but in and of itself,
(33:38):
it's not therapy. It's not a therapist. It's not a psychiatrist.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Chat GPT is not a therapist.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
No, it's not. That's something else people are doing, is
like talking to their chat GPT as if it's their therapist.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
That is not a replacement for therapy. All of these
things are tools, and I like AI is a tool,
whether you agree with it or not, it's obviously out
there as a tool for us, but it's not a
search engine. It's people are using it as a search engine,
but it's not a replacement for real like care, like therapy. No, right,
(34:12):
same with TikTok. TikTok is a tool. Social media is
a tool for us to find information, to even find misinformation, right.
And then there's therapists that become like therapy influencers. Right,
But that is just like one thing. It's not the
only thing.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Absolutely, And I think it's important also to remember, like
I think about people like Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse
and yes Britney Spears, and like these women were so
talented global superstars had these adoring fan bases, but on
some level the fan base is also turned on them, Yeah,
(34:50):
and mistreated them.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Sorry say that again.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Yeah, but at some point and on some level, their
fan bases turned on them and mistreated them. And we're
very unkind to them in their most vulnerable moments. Right.
And so with an audience like a TikTok audience or
an Instagram audience what have you, the audience is not
They're not really your friends and they're not really going
(35:15):
to take care of you, right, And it's important to
remember that too. I think when we're going to our audiences,
like asking for these types of help and support, like
you know, you got to go to like your family,
your friends, your actual in person community who knows you
and they're invested in you and they love you. And
again to like your medical team. No one's going to
(35:37):
be more invested in your well being than those people.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah. I think you can use your social media account,
your following as a like I've said already, like a tool,
a resource in the sense that you're like, hey, where
can I find this? You know I shared you know
many years ago I used to talk about how I
found Open Path Collective to find my therapist, and that
was something that people would then ask me, like will
(36:01):
you posted about this one time. I still get like
dms about it, like recently and it's been years.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Now, I saw a therapists through them because you mentioned them.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah, And I feel like that like using social media
in that way, right, especially if you're not a therapist,
like not giving advice, right, if you're not licensed to
like give therapy. Clearly obviously that's its own conversation. But
I think like if you're sharing resources, like that's a
good way to use social media totally, but using it
like it's a therapy, like it's therapy itself.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Yeah, And following this is another thing of there's influencers
who will post like therapy tips yeah and insights because
they themselves are in therapy. Yes, but that also is
not a replacement for actual therapy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I've found I've seen a couple of videos like this
and they're more so in like just and they're funny,
but there there's truth to it. It's like ways my
therapist drive me today? Yes, you know you want to
know what my therapist said to me today? Can you
believe this? Like that kind of content, And I've like
there have been times where my therapist that has said
something like really powerful and like that really made me
(37:08):
shift perspective on something or change my mind. And I've
thought about sharing it, like this was helpful for me.
Take it if you need it, but there's just always
something in me that like stops, not because I don't
think it's helpful, but just like who am I? Like
I'm in my own process. Everyone's experience is so unique,
shaped by everything they've lived through that it might not
(37:30):
actually apply to you totally. You know, it might be
helpful in some ways, but there's just always that part
of me that's like, hmm, no, that's just not my thing.
I think there was a while where I was very
much like everyone needs to be in therapy. Let's normalize
talking about therapy and going to therapy. And I still
feel that way, but it's not so much a part
of like my social media presence, if you will. But
(37:50):
I think for like a hot minute, it.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Was, Yeah, I think the content changes as like we
move through life. You know, uh, yeah, I love that
show Couples Therapy. It's so good. But then it's like
watching them does not mean that I'm in my own
therapy session. It doesn't mean that I've gone through a session,
(38:14):
you know, I'm just I'm watching somebody else do their work,
you know, but that doesn't replace doing your own work.
And yeah, I don't know. I wonder what you guys
out there think about this, if you've noticed this, the
gen Z crash out, the TikTok crash out, if it
reminds you at all of like breakdowns that we would
(38:35):
see of celebrities in the two thousands. For example, we
talked about Britney Spears, And I don't know, what do
you guys think about it? Like, is it just a
way for people to express themselves, is it building community?
Is it looking for support? Like is that even possible
on TikTok? I'm curious about what the listeners think.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Yeah, I think at its core, there is maybe a
part of it's like I want help and I want
to be seeing people want to be seen. Especially I
think this generation that really did not experience like the
coming of age milestones because of the pandemic, right, And
I feel like that like the long term effects on
(39:14):
mental health and younger generations like is still to be
seen totally. And so I just wonder if there's that's
part of the piece of it.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Also, Yeah, I think what we also see online is
a lot of conversations about our attention spans, and we've
talked about this. Trends move so quickly, so I feel
like that our timing with everything is so fast, and
we move on from things and the pandemic ended, so
that's over and we're moving on now.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, I feel like there's also some type of like
our brain is maybe, well, we're all traumatized, right, I
think there's a collective trauma. Millions of people died. It's
how can we not be traumatized as a society, And
so I do think there's like something in our brain
that's like defense that is behind us when it's really not.
It hasn't been that long, and the effects I think,
(40:06):
like I said, I think are still to be seen.
Like there's a reason we're in a loneliness epidemic. There's
a reason there's like a rise in like the Man
of Sphere, like all everything that happened in isolation. I
just think we're seeing the effects of it now. We're
seeing a trickle out into like then the public.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Oh yeah, the reverberations will last for a long time.
I think, yes to your point, this example of the
crash out and self documenting your mental health crisis for
views essentially is like a trickle, a trickle down of.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
That because remember at the start of the pandemic. Obviously
this is very very subjective depending on where you lived,
the type of work that you did, but there was
a moment where like everybody was making sour dough yea,
and everyone's everyone's content on either platform was like about
making their sourdough.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Bread and delgo in a coffee.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Yes, I did that. And then it became I mean,
it's so much deeper, rite, so much more. The platforms
evolved for like us being in isolation and so yeah,
it's all it's all connected.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
In my opinion, it's all connected. I also this maybe
is tangentially related. But there's also a good number of
accounts of people who like suffer from deep, deep, deep
depression and it's like, oh, come with me to clean
my depression room, yes, you know, and it's like, Okay,
this room has not been cleaned in like six months.
It's like looks like a hoarding room at this point,
(41:30):
and folks feeling, you know, maybe it is a motivation
to get the room clean and to move on it.
And if that helps you know, to like improve day
to day life. Then I think there's value in that.
But it is interesting how many I think, basically have
channels where this person clearly goes through a depression cycle
(41:52):
and now we're cleaning the room, and now they're in
their cycle again, and now we're cleaning the room. It's
a very I don't know, there's something. Uh, I don't
even have the words to do.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, I see what you're saying. There's like a level
of maybe accountability. Oh, if I put it online, I
have to do it. I have to do People do
that for anything projects like oh, I'm going to I
said I was going to go run tomorrow. I'm going
to go run tomorrow. Ye. Right, But then there's like
this deeper like, oh, I need to be held accountable
for this six month pile up, so I'm going to
put it online. Yeah, and then I have to do.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
It with you, right. And I feel like there's a
possibility that those people probably don't let people closest to
them see that space when it's like that, but there's
a distance between them and their TikTok following that feels
more comfortable sharing.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I feel like this season we've been talking about our
mothers a little bit more. It's because we're getting older.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
We're obsessed with our mothers.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
But I just think, like sometimes I'm like, imagine if
our moms knew we were posting our depression build up,
not in like I mean, our moms would shame us.
I'm not shaming you, but our moms would. And that's
what would stop me from doing that.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yeah, it's like just clean your room. Yes, it's not
that simple all the time.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
It's really not. If you have executive dysfunction, right, Like,
there's reasons depression is really hard. Our moms don't care.
They want you to clean your room.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
They want the room clean. But you know what I
think about that too, And like, if you have someone
who is in such a funk because of mental health
that it is creating an obstruction in their daily life.
And you're not a mental health professional, your mom, and
you're just trying to keep things running. What else do
(43:31):
you do? Yeah, you know, And so I think sometimes
it's that that tough love that I don't think always works,
but I think it's one of the things that they
have in their arsenal.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Yes, you know, yeah, I would love a more gentle love,
but I see why they do it. I don't agree
with it all the time, but I get it again.
I think it's like when you're a mom, like the
mental load of running a house. You're like, you can't
even clean your room.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
You know.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
It's how they see it, right, and probably what they've
been through that whole day just to get to that
one point, right. I think about that now as I'm
older too, is like I used to think like, Wow,
how does my mom remember to do everything? And now
I'm like the fuck? What is like? What is wrong
with us? Like as not as children, but it's like
the expectation that the mom is just gonna do everything
(44:18):
without anyone asking like hey, wait, how how are you
handling that?
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Like do you need?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Do I need to? What do I do? What does
he do?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Of course we used to talk about invisible labor all
the time.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
There's so much invisible labor.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
So much, Oh, there's so much, there's so so much. Yeah,
it's like in a family, a mom. In a family,
every person is their own planet, and the mom is
trying to manage the whole solar system.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Yes, that's a good analogy, you know, but.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
It's like but I have my whole world. Yes, I
have my own world. Okay, but yeah, there's like ten
worlds you're gonna collide, yes, you know. And so that's
like the levels.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Yeah, like the mom just keeps them spinning, basically.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Keeps every on their orbit.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Yes, by by hook or by crook, shout out to mom.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Moms are amazing. We love moms, We love mom's. Happy
Mother's Day, Happy belated Mother's Day to all our listeners
who are moms, y'all are amazing.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Amazing, amazing, So thank your mom and clean your room.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah, and maybe I mean would love to hear folks
what they think about quote crash out, mental health breakdowns,
the voyeurism of it all, and questioning when you see
like a viral quote crash out and maybe actually seeing
it for what it is. It's a mental health crisis.
Maybe this person needs more support.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah, absolutely, ask for help when you need it, seek
out resources offline, offline.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Yes, getting community. I feel like that's how I want
to end every episode. Step outside. You have to be
in community. That's the only way we're going to make
it through anything.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Join a club, take a class, get a hobby, something
something you know go visit with your cousins.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I don't know, listen to this episode with your friends.
I have a listening party. Please.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
That's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Bring it back.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
That's a great idea. I would love for somebody to
host like a knitting circle and where they're like knitting
and drinking champagne and listening to this podcast.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
I think you need to host. That is what it
sounds like.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
But yes, that sounds like a fun event.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
So that does sound like a fun event.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
Let's do it. Let's do it all right.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Look, I'm honest. Thank you for listening to another episode
of look at Radio. We'll catch you next time. See
look At Radio is executive produced by viosa Fem and
Mala Munios.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Stephanie Franco is our producer.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Story editing by Me viosa.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
Creative direction by Me Mala.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Look At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Dura
podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
You can listen to look at Radio on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Leave us a review and share with your prima to
share with your homegirl.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
And thank you to our local moorees, to our listeners
for tuning in each and every week besitos h Loca
Lumia
Look like God alreadyo.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
O lao la look more is I'm Viosa.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
And I'm Mala And I have noticed recently that the
TikTok crash out is like the newest most popular genre
of reality television.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
What have you been seeing?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
I've just been seeing so much content from creators on
TikTok who post themselves in states of like clear crisis.
But the number of people that tune in like post
after post, as if it's like an episode of TV unfolding.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Right, there's a certain voyeurism to it.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, and like garnering millions of views, comments are always
like a mixed bag. Are they supportive, are they hating?
Are they making fun? It's a little bit of everything,
and I've just been seeing so much of it, especially
on TikTok, in particular with with the young people.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
M the young people. Well, more on that in a
little bit, but let's talk about how we climax and cried?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
I sweet, But first, how did we climax and how
did we cry? Do you want to get us started?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Well, I just want to note that that Heen is
in the studio with us today. He is, so he's
kind of walking around. If I hold him, you'll hear
his panting, so you might hear him walking around, but
just that's just the vibe today.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
We have a little furry guess.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yeah, he's the star.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
We have a little furry friend. He's been in look
at though out projects before on camera.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Yes, he has been. He has been. So I decided
to bring him today to get him out of the
house for a little bit. If anyone has a Pomeranian,
you know that they are not good with children. And
my mom is babysitting and so he's just so I'm like,
let's get him out and let's bring him to the studio.
He's never been.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Do they get territorial with the kids or like he
wants the attention that the kids are getting.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
My theory is that Pomeranians have Napoleon syndrome and so
the little children are like close.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
To his size.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Okay, so he's like a little threat and buy them.
I'm not sure, but he is just not good with them.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
They're like other little creatures invading his territory.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, yeah, so that's why he's joining us today. But
in terms of climax and cry, well, let me start
with my climax, Like, well, yes, let me start with
my climax. I was one of eight hundred runners that
ran from Altadina to the Palisades. Now, before you get
too impressed, it was a relay, so I did six
(02:28):
miles and I was in a team of five, so
each of us did about six miles. So the organizer
of this event, Silver Lake Track Club, shared with us
on Saturday morning that they raise fifty thousand dollars collectively
and that money is going to various wildfire relief organizations,
like our friends over at Endelon, the National Day Labors
(02:50):
Organization Network, and so that was really cool. And so
it was just a really beautiful experience being out in
the community running with a bunch of runners with this
one cause in mind. And obviously races tend to have
this philanthropic component to it, but this just felt so
different because it was going to the wildfire relief. So
(03:11):
that was I think my climax for the week.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
That's fabulous. And it was a relay. Did you guys
have batons?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
We didn't have batons, but I did see other groups
have batons and they were really fun ones, Like I
saw like one of those plastic fake chickens ha ha.
I saw like a little critter. They're called like Smiski's
I think that's how you pronounce it. And they're just
like little little like men, like little figurine like little
bodies that have a little face and they're green. Oh
(03:39):
and they're just tiny. And so I saw one one
team have that. So that was cute.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh, very fun. That sounds like a great time running
for a cause.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Absolutely. How about your cry?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
My cry? What is my cry for the week? Oh,
there's so many things to cry about. Oh no, so
just generally speaking, just state of the world, Elon musk
Ai all of it, rfk Junior. I'm just like I'm
sad about it all the time. So I mean that's
(04:11):
near my general answer for the week.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Yeah, it is dire. It is dire, but I feel like,
you know, we lived through nine to eleven.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Yes, We've lived through lots of things. I think just
my sadness comes from so much being dismantled at a
policy level, and so I'm like, yes, we will survive
this historic event, these quote unpreceded times that like we've
been living through. It's all unprecedented, like for whatever group
is living at the moment. But yeah, I think more
(04:41):
so that's what I've been sad about PBS NPR, like
all that funding. I saw a couple of bookstores arts
organizations that had their funding cut because they were receiving
grants from the National Endowment of the Arts. So like midyear,
they're like funding is being cut and so or their
(05:02):
grants are being withheld, like just kidding, we're taking this back.
So it's just a very dire time for the arts
right now and just for this country for funding, and
so that's definitely been on my mind this week.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yeah, the arts and education. I saw also that Donald
Trump wants to cut the federal grad plus loans in
twenty twenty six. So if you want to go to
graduate school and you're thinking about taking out educational loans,
do it this year because they might not be available
(05:35):
come twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah. I mean, I still have my student loans from
undergrad and I have been a little on edge about them.
They're small enough that I can pay them off. But
at the same time, I was kind of hopeful that
student loans were going to get canceled during the Biden administration,
so I was like, I'm going to just pay the
minimum because what if they get canceled. I'm just going
(05:56):
to keep it, pushing pay the minimum. And now we
know that that's not happening. And so I logged into
my student loan portal and they were no longer there.
They were sold to another company. They're quote in forbearans,
and I'm like, what does that mean? And so apparently
that just that's what they call it when they're sold
to another company, and so they're not delinquent, but just
(06:19):
the whole thing is just unnecessarily stressful.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah. Yeah, you and I both with the student loans.
I'm sure lots of our listeners are.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Oh yeah, we never really talked about that. God, but
because it's one of those things where you stuff it
down under, you do not. I do not want to
talk about this.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Yeah, but we have loans. We have plenty of loans,
and I'm accumulating more and that's fine. We'll see what happens.
Those are really good climaxes and christs.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
It's all in the name of education. Something I think
both of our parents instilled in us was like pursuing
higher ed and my dad growing up San Medico, he
always told me like and so that was like something
that was really important to him that we like pursued
higher education. I don't think you should like go into
(07:05):
debt like by any means necessary. But I also don't
think like funding should be a reason you don't go
to school.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh of course. Yeah, it's this unfortunate reality in the
United States in particular, that tuition money is a barrier. Yeah,
and access to funding to pay that tuition is a
barrier to entry for a lot of fields. I mean, like,
I was just learning about this board exam that my
friend Liliah has to take, and just to schedule the exam,
(07:34):
it costs nine hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Oh wow.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
You know that's just to like get a date on calendar.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
And there's other fees and then if you don't take it,
or if you fail, you have to take it again.
It's just like and that's one one test in the
in the grand scheme of the whole like med school journey.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
But AnyWho, how did you climax? How did you.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Cry onto me? Mike? Climax is my climax. I feel
is on its way, okay, because I'm going to EADC
this weekend, which is my first rave. I've never been
to a rave. And I'm going to DC for the
first time with my partner. We're very excited. We've been
getting ready basically since November, and the prep and all
(08:15):
that has just been really fun and we're really looking
forward to it. He also he went to EDC when
he was like a senior in high school, when it
was at the.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
College the coliseum when people died.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Yes, when people died, because then it got.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Osted because the following year wasn't the first time they
did it in Vegas, And I went.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Oh, did you really? What was that? So it was
the first year in Vegas? What was that?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Like? Well, I was not even eighteen. I like, use actually,
let me not incriminate myself. I was not eighteen, but
I went. And I think because I wasn't a raver,
it was just like it was fun. It was fun
for that age, you know, and like being up all night,
but you know, I wasn't like partaking in the things
that people do at rave.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Oh I think that also, you know, made it like, Okay,
I'm tired, let's two three am, let's go.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Yeah. It's what I've been told is it's a marathon
of an experience. It's three days and you basically are
sleeping all afternoon and all morning and then like heading
out to the rave. That's Vegas, like at six pm.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
That's Vegas for you.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
And I don't really do Vegas. I've never been to Vegas. Girl.
I know it's like it's like the thing to do
for a lot of people, like.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
A write a passage for some people.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah. I went to Vegas a couple of times, maybe
in my early twenties with my friend and my sister,
but it never really appealed to me.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yeah, there are some people, like I have family members
who love to go to Vegas. They have their annual trips.
That's like never been my style either.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah, I'm excited for you, thank you, thank you. I
will report back. Yes, I have my looks, I have
my outfits.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, are you going to tease any of the outfits
like on socials? Are you gonna wait or are you
going to show anything? You know what?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I kind of did tease an outfit already because when
I went to Cowboy Carter, I wore pieces that.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Was a fabulous look, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
I wore pieces of my like Saturday edc look with
like this denim jumpsuit cue so that was kind of
a tease of its own. And then I'll wear the
full thing and post it.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What is your cry for the week?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Oh my god, my cry for the week? You know, Okay,
let's be frank. We've been talking like podcasting stuff. Yeah,
and like we you know, I think we try and
share here and there, like growing pains and being like
entrepreneurs and self employed and working in the podcasting industry
(10:44):
and doing all the things that we do is fabulous
and so fun. But there also are these like obstacles,
and these moments were like, Okay, we have to like
make an assessment, yeah, and make a pivot and game
plan and take action. And so the podcast is in
this like moment of pivotal like like nothing but opportunity
(11:07):
for growth first of all, Yes, but it's a in
a moment where like we're pivoting.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Yeah. I don't want to put too much pressure on us,
but it does feel like a pretty big year in
like both the positive and like in a challenging way,
you know, And so I.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Feel that, Yeah, so you know, just there's work to do,
that's all.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
There's always work to be done.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
There's always work to be done. But I mean it's good.
You know, it's good. It's like a living thing is
gonna grow and you go through its ups and downs.
That means it's live. Yeah, there's blood pumping. So yeah,
more from us, more from us, we're teasing news.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah. Also on social oh yeah, more to come. This
is I think the most not growth, but I guess
newness that we're bringing to not just look at thought
a radio, but just as a production company. And so
with that, it's I think we've in some ways wanted
things to look a certain way or like be perfect,
(12:09):
or just you know, wait for the right opportunity. But
I think what we've learned in the last couple of
weeks especially, is like you just have to do it.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
There are actually a lot of people that have been
in the industry for less years that are putting out projects,
that are putting out opportunities, and I don't know what
we've been waiting for. I mean, I know why. Internally,
we know why. But it does kind of give you
that point of reflection of is like, all right, let's
just do it. Then everyone else is doing something, let's
do it too.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yeah. We've had a lot of ideas in the works
over the years. Like we've been ideating for a long
time and we've put out a lot of work. I mean,
I'm still really proud of Senora sex Ed and having
two shows. Oh yeah, you know at iHeart is no
small feat. But there's more, more, more to do, more
to come.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Don't go anywhere, lokomotives. We'll be right back.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And we're back with more of our episode.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
All right, well, thank you for listening to Climax and Cry.
Let's get into o Ye.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Lookas you are now listening to oh ya now.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
This question was submitted to us on our social media
channel on Instagram called look Amos. You can join for
more bts and also submit questions to Oya Lookas. This
question is how do you keep up with self maintenance
like nails, hair, skin, makeup? All of my life, I've
been a low maintenance girl, but I'm changing.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I love that I am changing. You have always been
really good with that is like always going in for
your lash fills and getting your nails filled and doing
it on a regular basis.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yes, yeah, I am a high maintenance person. I don't
consider it high maintenance because it just feels like this
is just who I am and this is just a
part of me. Something I've been kind of not laughing.
Something I've been kind of sitting with and I say
this kind of playfully but also seriously, is like I
have to keep my nails forever because with kind of
(14:12):
this puritan conservative culture, you know, coming back in terms
of fashion, I'm like, oh, I have to keep my
nails long, Like I can't have short nails. As it's
a political statement now. I mean it's always been, but
especially now because I have been feeling like I'm lifting more,
I'm playing tennis, Like maybe I should shorten my nails.
Maybe I should do something a little more low key.
(14:34):
That is not who I am, and it is a
political statement for me. It's an extension of my politics. Right,
We've talked about Femi's politics for a long time. So
I think for that reason, it doesn't feel like, oh,
I gotta go do this. It feels like, Okay, I
get to do this, Like to have the luxury to
do my hair. I've been a redhead for three years.
That's not inexpensive, that's not a cheap thing to do,
(14:56):
and I've made it work. And yeah, that's how it
feels for me.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah, I am a really appreciate your consistency. It's because
I know that it's like it's scheduling and its work
and it's time and it's money. Me personally, like I
am getting back into my nails and lashes, which I've
always dabbled in here and there, but I feel like
I've been more of like I'll do the nails and
(15:23):
the lashes if there's like an occasion, if there's an
event maybe, But I've always always also been a fan
of the strip lash. You know, it's there when you
need it and at the length that you want it
and just for the for the night, you know. I
also have like such anxiety about like personally, like I've
(15:43):
I've always had a lot of anxiety about like the
false lashes, pulling out my natural lashes and then being
stuck in a cycle of feeling like I need to
constantly get lashes put on because I'm losing my natural
lash right, and like that's a cycle that terrifies me
that I know want to be a part of. Yes,
you know, and I know, and my mom has been
(16:04):
wearing false lashes every week for decades because she performs
on stage. And so I've also always like learned from
her and watched her as far as giving her lashes
like a chance to recover totally, you know, and like
letting them go back and like doing the latis and
all that stuff, because like all that is so delicate,
(16:26):
you know, And then we hear stories about like, oh,
like women who overpluck their brows and they never go back.
These things just have always maybe nervous, but.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yes, that's that was the thing. Well, yeah, I also
feel like lashes are the one thing I'm okay with
letting go where I'm like, I kind of I go
through that cycle as well. And it's actually it's been
harder for me to wear contacts because of the lashes.
That's why I wear glasses a lot. Yeah, and I
think it's because I'm blinking less. This is my my
non medical professional opinion.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
You blink less when you have the lashes.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
This is what I'm thinking, Like, my eyes are getting
dryer because of the lashes. Interesting, so that's why contacts
bother me. Now, Oh is my thought process.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It's just a lot going on, yes on one little
eye or little eyeballs. Yeah, but they're beautiful, but like
they're beautiful and you always look like done.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Yes, that is That's what keeps me going.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
You always look done and you don't have to do
like a full face of hair.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
Yeah. You know, my mom used to dye her eyebrows
back in the nineties, and my mom has lost a
lot of like almost all of her eyebrow hair, right,
and it is something that she's self conscious of. So whenever,
like I go to the salon and they're like, do
you want to dye your eyebrows to match your hair,
I'm like, no, I will color them in.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Now.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
There's so many reasons, like she could have lost her
eyebrow hair. Yeah, but that is one of the things
she feels like, Wow, I wonder if it was the
hair dye because it was meant for her scalp not
for face.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Yeah, absolutely absolutely, And all those little hairs everything is
just so delicate and all little follicles are delicate. So
I don't know, I feel like, obviously do you, yes,
always do you? And whatever fits your lifestyle. Yeah, like
with school and like handling equipment. The nails were not realistic, yeah,
(18:13):
and yeah, but I love them, you know, And I
just feel so polished when I have everything done, so
I think enjoy it and like have fun with it.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
There's also I think, I mean, in addition to the economy,
there's been a rise of press on nails, and that
just feels like a low maintenance trick, similar to the
strip lashes. You have them when you want them. You
don't have to be committed to them for like a
full cycle of a set. You can just pop on
the press ons.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah. And I've been seeing a lot of beautiful brands,
oh yeah, with gorgeous options and like long ones. You know,
it's not your like your CBS brand.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
No, there's like designer press on nails now.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Yeah, and I feel like they're getting pretty good with
the adhesive they.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Are, They're getting better. Yeah, that's what I would worry.
During twenty twenty, I was wearing press ons because I
wanted to feel like a little semblance of myself.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah, so it would pudemic.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Yeah, I would put press ons on because I wasn't
going to the nailsal on like many of us, and
that did make me feel like a little put together.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yeah, absolutely, So thank you for that question. I think
it's it's on the minds of a lot of a
lot of batties. Yes, we love it. It's okay to
take a break. It's always going to be there. The
beauty industry is not going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
No, no, if anything, if you're going to splurt on anything,
in my opinion, get a facial. That's the one thing
I think, like, if you're going to give yourself only
one luxury, is like, get the facial. Because depending where
you live, I mean anywhere you live, there's pollution, if
you're working out, there's just our skin barrier gets damaged.
And I think that that's one good splurge if you
want to call it a splurge, Like if you can
(19:48):
only spend on one, I think it should be the facials.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Yeah, like good skin, glowing skin is going to like
take you farther than most everything else.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Agreed, I agree with that. Don't go anywhere, lokomotives.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
We'll be right back, and we're back with more of
our episode.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Well, let's get into today's topic.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Oh my god, So today we're talking about the millennial
breakdown and the gen Z crash out. We're seeing similarities,
we're seeing there's like a trajectory, there's like a timeline
here from millennial breakdown to gen Z crash out. And
we're just gonna like talk through it because we've been
noticing some things.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, I mean, and let's define crash out. What is
a crash out?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So from what I've seen on TikTok, it can mean
a couple different things.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Okay, it can be used as a noun, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Sometimes the girlies post oh, like in reference to themselves,
when you're a retired crash out and blah blah blah
blah blah.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Okay, this meaning I used to lose it, all right.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
And freak out on people or myself back in the day,
but now I don't. Okay, that's my understanding. So that's
a noun. It's self referential. I've also seen it as like, oh,
this is an experience someone is having. Someone is crashing out.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Okay, they're like.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Unwinding, they're unraveling, they're having some type of a meltdown.
And at this point people are posting their own crash
outs and putting them right online. So that's my understanding.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Yeah, so definitely rooted in like a mental health crisis
is how I've understood it. There's a lot of different
ways folks online talk about mental health crises, like the
crash out, the mentib.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
The mentib r.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so but like calling it what
it is in simple terms, it is a mental breakdown.
It's a mental health crisis.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
Yeah, And I think that's what's what's interesting is the
the content and oh, this is a crashout. It's entertaining.
Sometimes people find it funny. A lot of these video
will garner lots of views. I remember when Gaby Hannah,
who is like a musician slash like influencer, Gabby Hannah,
(22:08):
had a very public what would be described as a
crash out, and like many many videos, many posts, many episodes,
and after a while, you see in the comment and
the comments folks starting to sort of the tone shifts
and it goes from like, oh, like, you know, we're
hating on Gaby Hannah. We think she's like I don't know,
(22:31):
we think she's ridiculous too. We think that she's not okay,
and she's like clearly in the middle of a mental
health crisis.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Okay, got it.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
And then at some point, for those who were following,
because I was following, I was watching, at some point
somebody who was watching all this happen and all her
posts online showed up at her house and got into
her home and then there's a video of her realizing like,
oh my god, this is a random person, get out
of my house. Okay, So it was like it was
(23:02):
a really wild time. She's not the only one. I
think that there's like just more private people who end
up opening TikTok accounts and posting like their unraveling. But
then we have like these other celeb and like creator types,
like a Nikita Dragon for example.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Right, And I haven't really followed these like celeb quote
crash outs on TikTok or Instagram. They just don't really
reach my algorithm. But sometimes I learn about them after
the fact. And I was reading about or I was
watching a video about Justin Bieber allegedly having a crash
out after Selena Gomez's engagement announcement in her album all
(23:46):
of that, and that was when I kind of started
seeing like, oh, he's having like a mental health crisis.
But I couldn't actually track down like the original videos,
and I like wasn't really going to deep dive into it.
But that was when I started kind of picking up like, Okay,
wait a second, we're talking about it in different ways now.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Yeah, absolutely, when we were younger, it was not a
crash out. The term was.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
Breakdown, breakdown. This celeb had a breakdown and it was
captured by paparazzi usually.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Usually Yeah, I think Justin Bieber was also like a
paparazzi situation more recently. But I do feel like I
don't know if he was posting himself per se.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Okay, okay, but but yes, I.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
Feel like if you're an A lister, the paparazzi are
still out there. Oh yeah, and now people who are
not a list celebrities are almost their own paparazzi.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yes. It it's a part of the surveillance state, right
where we're just so happy to like film ourselves us included, right,
we include ourselves in that we're so happy to put
our lives on display in these ways, and for some
people that even include like these mental health breakdowns, these
quote crashouts.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's fascinating and like we were talking
about this when we were prepping for this episode about
like Britney Spears just being straight up stocked, followed, harassed,
like she couldn't go anywhere without paparazzi following her, taking
photos of her, taking videos of her in her lowest
(25:21):
moments right right, And I think that that still happens,
But I don't think there's ever been a time where
like otherwise anonymous people, yeah, would have their mental health
crisis projected for millions of people to see.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
That's a really good point because even someone like Britney Spears, right,
there was the free Britney movement to remove her from
her conservatorship, and then she was removed from her conservatorship
started posting online and people could not handle I think
for her mental state no where. It's like we wanted
I think in their minds, not we Mala and I,
(25:58):
but it's like in their minds they wanted a quote
free Brittany, but they wanted still wanted her to be
like the polished pop Brittany, pop Brittany when actually, like
this woman has so much healing to do. And so
we're then because she has a celebrity status, we're like
uncomfortable by the quote crash out or this like mental
health breakdown online. Yeah, And I think that we also
(26:20):
see that with like these influencers or just online folks
that have like big followings or not, like sometimes things
just go viral.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Yeah. Also, what's been interesting for me to observe. Okay,
so there's somebody that I know who also has had
their own social media platform of sorts, who is recently
posting a lot of very concerning videos of themselves in
a clear like state of like crisis. But because of
(26:51):
this person's sort of branding and the type of following
that they've cultivated over the years, it's very interesting to
see in the comments some follow like no matter what
this person says or does, or the accusations they make
about other people, or like the comments they make about
themselves that are just clearly like histrionic and like delusional,
(27:15):
because of the type of following that they've cultivated, there
are there are are commenters followers who are still extremely
supportive and like validating through the things being said.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
You know, they're maybe not seeing it for what it is, yes, right,
with that kind of objective lens of like wait, maybe
this person is not doing okay, Like this.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Person needs to go to the hospital, right, this person
is unwell. That was fascinating for me to observe that
you can almost have people who are are such big
fans of what you're doing that they're not seeing when
actually you're deeply unwell, and it's like the blind support yea,
you know, which I think feeds into this sort of
(27:59):
like cycle of then you're in a state of crisis,
you're posting, getting a lot of feedback and attention and views,
We're going to post more. It like feeds. Yes, the
mainia the delusion.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
Because social media does have that dopamine effect, right like
you do. Your brain does get something out of being online,
the out of posting, out of the validation. I even
catch myself sometimes like I'm feeling really insecure today, I'm
feeling like I want affirmations, and instead of texting my
friend group, I'm like, let me post to strangers. Yeah,
(28:32):
And then I have to be like, wait a second,
hold on, girl, Yeah, maybe that's not the move. Post
because you want to post, but posting because you maybe
want an external validation because you're feeling sad today, you know,
is maybe not the best thing for you right now.
And so I think there's all these different levels to it.
Right There's like maybe something more extreme of like a
quote crash out having a mental health crisis online, and
(28:52):
then there's the maybe a quote lesser where you're seeking
external validation because of that dopamine effect, which is still
tied to like our mental health and our brain and
how we function.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Yeah, and in both instances, whether it's seeking support or
attention for a crisis or seeking validation, it's going to
the same place where you are not going to find
what you actually need. Oh yeah, right, it's just it's
something else. It's a third thing. It's not help and
(29:24):
it's not true like love and support. It's engagement. Yes,
it's engagement, and so people are like engaging with the
need or the call or the post what have you,
but the issue is not being addressed.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
And on the flip side, like, for folks watching this
type of content, why do you think we as we
like the royal we as a society because we're all
in this, we're all on social media. Maybe we don't
consume it ourselves, but why do we What is the
attraction to this type of content? We talked about voyeurism
(30:02):
at the top of the episode, right, is it like
does it make us feel better about ourselves? Like, oh,
we're not look at how sad they look?
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Can't lie? Sometimes it does make it feel better about myself. Yes, actually,
like okay, things might be tough, but they're not here,
So they're not here. That's horrible. But I think I'm
just being honest, can't help it. That's that's sometimes an
immediate like who I hope they get everything they need,
and I hope that if I was in this type
of a state that my loved ones would like say
(30:32):
something and intervene and step in. But I also think
it's the same phenomenon watching a crash out on TikTok
and like tuning in is not that different from watching
a crash on the freeway, and how traffic.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Always slows, always stops the looky loose.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
No matter what. Yeah, no matter like the size of
the crash, the traffic always slows down because people want
to get a look at the crash. It's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
I think that is like a right of Like it's
like a train crash. I can't look away. Yes, I
want to look away, but I can't.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I can't. Why do we watch horror films and people
get mutilated? I mean, it's this very strange thing that
that clicks in the human mind when we see chaos
and carnage.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, it's very dark, very dark. I mean I think
that that raises a question like, does it give us
control or does it give us the illusion of control,
either by making this type of content or just filming ourselves,
and then it becomes content because maybe it's not with
the intention of it being content, but like you said, oh,
I'm posting it and people are engaging, so I'm going
(31:37):
to keep posting it, and so then it does become content.
So does it give us an illusion of control or
does it actually give us control?
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Right?
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I think is the question.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yes, And control of what? Maybe control of the way
that you're.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Viewed, control of self. Maybe it feels like the only
thing you can control. I can post this online, I
can take it down if I want to, not really
write on social media anymore. You can like screen record anything.
But there is I think maybe this sense of control, Yeah, a.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Sense of control and maybe hoping maybe someone out there
will see this and will have the answer. Yeah, maybe's
one of these millions of people. Yeah, will give me
the help that I need, I will say.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
I mean, I'm obviously, I think a little older than
the gen zs and the folks that we've seen do this.
But when I had my own mental health breakdown not
that long ago, the first thing I did was call
a hotline because I didn't even call my friends because
I was like, this is too heavy. I know my
friends are there for me and they will pick up
the phone if I need it, but I need to
talk to a professional. And actually didn't go that far
(32:42):
because as I was texting the hotline, I was like,
I think just doing it kind of like calmed my
nervous system. And I was like, Okay, I'm fine. I
need to work through this and I need to make
a game plan for the situation that I'm in right now,
but I have a handle on myself. And then I
texted my friends after I was like, in a commerce
sense state of mind, but that's me. I'm also they're
(33:04):
very therapized. My immediate thought was not like let me
film myself crying, right, you know, but there is it's
so normalized that I do see why people do it.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Yeah, it's very normalized. And I think that's a reminder.
Call a hotline. Yeah, get into therapy, go to the hospital, like,
go see a doctor, Go speak to a mental health professional,
look up an organization like NAMI. You know, there are
resources out there. TikTok itself is not a resource. It
might lead you to resources, but in and of itself,
(33:38):
it's not therapy. It's not a therapist. It's not a psychiatrist.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
Chat GPT is not a therapist.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
No, it's not. That's something else people are doing, is
like talking to their chat GPT as if it's their therapist.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
That is not a replacement for therapy. All of these
things are tools, and I like AI is a tool,
whether you agree with it or not, it's obviously out
there as a tool for us, but it's not a
search engine. It's people are using it as a search engine,
but it's not a replacement for real like care, like therapy. No, right,
(34:12):
same with TikTok. TikTok is a tool. Social media is
a tool for us to find information, to even find misinformation, right.
And then there's therapists that become like therapy influencers. Right,
But that is just like one thing. It's not the
only thing.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Absolutely, And I think it's important also to remember, like
I think about people like Whitney Houston and Amy Winehouse
and yes Britney Spears, and like these women were so
talented global superstars had these adoring fan bases, but on
some level the fan base is also turned on them, Yeah,
(34:50):
and mistreated them.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Sorry say that again.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
Yeah, but at some point and on some level, their
fan bases turned on them and mistreated them. And we're
very unkind to them in their most vulnerable moments. Right.
And so with an audience like a TikTok audience or
an Instagram audience what have you, the audience is not
They're not really your friends and they're not really going
(35:15):
to take care of you, right, And it's important to
remember that too. I think when we're going to our audiences,
like asking for these types of help and support, like
you know, you got to go to like your family,
your friends, your actual in person community who knows you
and they're invested in you and they love you. And
again to like your medical team. No one's going to
(35:37):
be more invested in your well being than those people.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah. I think you can use your social media account,
your following as a like I've said already, like a tool,
a resource in the sense that you're like, hey, where
can I find this? You know I shared you know
many years ago I used to talk about how I
found Open Path Collective to find my therapist, and that
was something that people would then ask me, like will
(36:01):
you posted about this one time. I still get like
dms about it, like recently and it's been years.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
Now, I saw a therapists through them because you mentioned them.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Yeah, And I feel like that like using social media
in that way, right, especially if you're not a therapist,
like not giving advice, right, if you're not licensed to
like give therapy. Clearly obviously that's its own conversation. But
I think like if you're sharing resources, like that's a
good way to use social media totally, but using it
like it's a therapy, like it's therapy itself.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Yeah, And following this is another thing of there's influencers
who will post like therapy tips yeah and insights because
they themselves are in therapy. Yes, but that also is
not a replacement for actual therapy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
I've found I've seen a couple of videos like this
and they're more so in like just and they're funny,
but there there's truth to it. It's like ways my
therapist drive me today? Yes, you know you want to
know what my therapist said to me today? Can you
believe this? Like that kind of content, And I've like
there have been times where my therapist that has said
something like really powerful and like that really made me
(37:08):
shift perspective on something or change my mind. And I've
thought about sharing it, like this was helpful for me.
Take it if you need it, but there's just always
something in me that like stops, not because I don't
think it's helpful, but just like who am I? Like
I'm in my own process. Everyone's experience is so unique,
shaped by everything they've lived through that it might not
(37:30):
actually apply to you totally. You know, it might be
helpful in some ways, but there's just always that part
of me that's like, hmm, no, that's just not my thing.
I think there was a while where I was very
much like everyone needs to be in therapy. Let's normalize
talking about therapy and going to therapy. And I still
feel that way, but it's not so much a part
of like my social media presence, if you will. But
(37:50):
I think for like a hot minute, it.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Was, Yeah, I think the content changes as like we
move through life. You know, uh, yeah, I love that
show Couples Therapy. It's so good. But then it's like
watching them does not mean that I'm in my own
therapy session. It doesn't mean that I've gone through a session,
(38:14):
you know, I'm just I'm watching somebody else do their work,
you know, but that doesn't replace doing your own work.
And yeah, I don't know. I wonder what you guys
out there think about this, if you've noticed this, the
gen Z crash out, the TikTok crash out, if it
reminds you at all of like breakdowns that we would
(38:35):
see of celebrities in the two thousands. For example, we
talked about Britney Spears, And I don't know, what do
you guys think about it? Like, is it just a
way for people to express themselves, is it building community?
Is it looking for support? Like is that even possible
on TikTok? I'm curious about what the listeners think.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
Yeah, I think at its core, there is maybe a
part of it's like I want help and I want
to be seeing people want to be seen. Especially I
think this generation that really did not experience like the
coming of age milestones because of the pandemic, right, And
I feel like that like the long term effects on
(39:14):
mental health and younger generations like is still to be
seen totally. And so I just wonder if there's that's
part of the piece of it.
Speaker 1 (39:22):
Also, Yeah, I think what we also see online is
a lot of conversations about our attention spans, and we've
talked about this. Trends move so quickly, so I feel
like that our timing with everything is so fast, and
we move on from things and the pandemic ended, so
that's over and we're moving on now.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah, I feel like there's also some type of like
our brain is maybe, well, we're all traumatized, right, I
think there's a collective trauma. Millions of people died. It's
how can we not be traumatized as a society, And
so I do think there's like something in our brain
that's like defense that is behind us when it's really not.
It hasn't been that long, and the effects I think,
(40:06):
like I said, I think are still to be seen.
Like there's a reason we're in a loneliness epidemic. There's
a reason there's like a rise in like the Man
of Sphere, like all everything that happened in isolation. I
just think we're seeing the effects of it now. We're
seeing a trickle out into like then the public.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Oh yeah, the reverberations will last for a long time.
I think, yes to your point, this example of the
crash out and self documenting your mental health crisis for
views essentially is like a trickle, a trickle down of.
Speaker 2 (40:40):
That because remember at the start of the pandemic. Obviously
this is very very subjective depending on where you lived,
the type of work that you did, but there was
a moment where like everybody was making sour dough yea,
and everyone's everyone's content on either platform was like about
making their sourdough.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Bread and delgo in a coffee.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
Yes, I did that. And then it became I mean,
it's so much deeper, rite, so much more. The platforms
evolved for like us being in isolation and so yeah,
it's all it's all connected.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
In my opinion, it's all connected. I also this maybe
is tangentially related. But there's also a good number of
accounts of people who like suffer from deep, deep, deep
depression and it's like, oh, come with me to clean
my depression room, yes, you know, and it's like, Okay,
this room has not been cleaned in like six months.
It's like looks like a hoarding room at this point,
(41:30):
and folks feeling, you know, maybe it is a motivation
to get the room clean and to move on it.
And if that helps you know, to like improve day
to day life. Then I think there's value in that.
But it is interesting how many I think, basically have
channels where this person clearly goes through a depression cycle
(41:52):
and now we're cleaning the room, and now they're in
their cycle again, and now we're cleaning the room. It's
a very I don't know, there's something. Uh, I don't
even have the words to do.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, I see what you're saying. There's like a level
of maybe accountability. Oh, if I put it online, I
have to do it. I have to do People do
that for anything projects like oh, I'm going to I
said I was going to go run tomorrow. I'm going
to go run tomorrow. Ye. Right, But then there's like
this deeper like, oh, I need to be held accountable
for this six month pile up, so I'm going to
put it online. Yeah, and then I have to do.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
It with you, right. And I feel like there's a
possibility that those people probably don't let people closest to
them see that space when it's like that, but there's
a distance between them and their TikTok following that feels
more comfortable sharing.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
I feel like this season we've been talking about our
mothers a little bit more. It's because we're getting older.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
We're obsessed with our mothers.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
But I just think, like sometimes I'm like, imagine if
our moms knew we were posting our depression build up,
not in like I mean, our moms would shame us.
I'm not shaming you, but our moms would. And that's
what would stop me from doing that.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Yeah, it's like just clean your room. Yes, it's not
that simple all the time.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
It's really not. If you have executive dysfunction, right, Like,
there's reasons depression is really hard. Our moms don't care.
They want you to clean your room.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
They want the room clean. But you know what I
think about that too, And like, if you have someone
who is in such a funk because of mental health
that it is creating an obstruction in their daily life.
And you're not a mental health professional, your mom, and
you're just trying to keep things running. What else do
(43:31):
you do? Yeah, you know, And so I think sometimes
it's that that tough love that I don't think always works,
but I think it's one of the things that they
have in their arsenal.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Yes, you know, yeah, I would love a more gentle love,
but I see why they do it. I don't agree
with it all the time, but I get it again.
I think it's like when you're a mom, like the
mental load of running a house. You're like, you can't
even clean your room.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
You know.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
It's how they see it, right, and probably what they've
been through that whole day just to get to that
one point, right. I think about that now as I'm
older too, is like I used to think like, Wow,
how does my mom remember to do everything? And now
I'm like the fuck? What is like? What is wrong
with us? Like as not as children, but it's like
the expectation that the mom is just gonna do everything
(44:18):
without anyone asking like hey, wait, how how are you
handling that?
Speaker 1 (44:22):
Like do you need?
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Do I need to? What do I do? What does
he do?
Speaker 1 (44:25):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (44:26):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (44:27):
Of course we used to talk about invisible labor all
the time.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
There's so much invisible labor.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
So much, Oh, there's so much, there's so so much. Yeah,
it's like in a family, a mom. In a family,
every person is their own planet, and the mom is
trying to manage the whole solar system.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
Yes, that's a good analogy, you know, but.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
It's like but I have my whole world. Yes, I
have my own world. Okay, but yeah, there's like ten
worlds you're gonna collide, yes, you know. And so that's
like the levels.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Yeah, like the mom just keeps them spinning, basically.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Keeps every on their orbit.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Yes, by by hook or by crook, shout out to mom.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Moms are amazing. We love moms, We love mom's. Happy
Mother's Day, Happy belated Mother's Day to all our listeners
who are moms, y'all are amazing.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Amazing, amazing, So thank your mom and clean your room.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
Yeah, and maybe I mean would love to hear folks
what they think about quote crash out, mental health breakdowns,
the voyeurism of it all, and questioning when you see
like a viral quote crash out and maybe actually seeing
it for what it is. It's a mental health crisis.
Maybe this person needs more support.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Yeah, absolutely, ask for help when you need it, seek
out resources offline, offline.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
Yes, getting community. I feel like that's how I want
to end every episode. Step outside. You have to be
in community. That's the only way we're going to make
it through anything.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Join a club, take a class, get a hobby, something
something you know go visit with your cousins.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
I don't know, listen to this episode with your friends.
I have a listening party. Please.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
That's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Bring it back.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
That's a great idea. I would love for somebody to
host like a knitting circle and where they're like knitting
and drinking champagne and listening to this podcast.
Speaker 2 (46:22):
I think you need to host. That is what it
sounds like.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
But yes, that sounds like a fun event.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
So that does sound like a fun event.
Speaker 1 (46:28):
Let's do it. Let's do it all right.
Speaker 2 (46:30):
Look, I'm honest. Thank you for listening to another episode
of look at Radio. We'll catch you next time. See
look At Radio is executive produced by viosa Fem and
Mala Munios.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Stephanie Franco is our producer.
Speaker 2 (46:44):
Story editing by Me viosa.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
Creative direction by Me Mala.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Look At Radio is a part of iHeartRadio's Michael Dura
podcast Network.
Speaker 1 (46:53):
You can listen to look at Radio on the iHeartRadio
app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (46:57):
Leave us a review and share with your prima to
share with your homegirl.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
And thank you to our local moorees, to our listeners
for tuning in each and every week besitos h Loca
Lumia
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.