March 24, 2020 • 43 mins
Giannina checks in with Carlton and he reveals all!
We learn what happened with Carlton and Diamond. Then, in a shocking turn, Carlton reveals who he wished he picked. And it is juicy.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Alright, it's episode three, Love and Sight with g A
Nina lady. I got it. You know what, we take
some time off, I come back. I have to reset
pretty soon. I'm gonna be able to say it quickly.
But it's g and we're here because this is the
do in the Carlton episode. We're going to hear from
Carlton in in a minute. G. But because you were there,
(00:28):
and because we only get to see you know however
many minutes, Netflix wants to provide us. Why don't you
share with us kind of what you thought of Let's
start in the pods when you first met Carlton, when
you first dated Carlton, what you thought of him? Um,
I didn't remember him so much. I because I think
we only had one date, just the speed date, just
(00:49):
the speed date. I don't think we vibed with each other.
So I think he might have been like ten or below.
You know, John was fifteen. John was definitely fifteen. Just
keep needed to keep resetting that, putting that. You know,
I don't really like to talk. I don't like to
talk about about people. I'm not talking about about John.
I'm just saying the truth about So Carlton was like ten.
(01:13):
Carlson was like ten. He was very just like a
little pompous for me. Um, you know when someone kind
of like talks himself up. I'm like, but why um so,
but he was great. I mean he had he had
like a definitely a flare to him. I know a
lot of the other girls were like, he's so funny,
and I'm like, I didn't get that. But um, you know,
to each throne, how many people in the in the facility,
(01:37):
like the Carlton do you remember? Um? I think like
a good like five girls out of the fifteen were
like or actually more and more like abround three of
them are actually vibing with him and we're like, oh,
I kind of want to Dana for real. And then
the other girls were like he's a good time to
talk to. Um. But clearly you had diamond. He had diamond.
(01:57):
He had Brianna. Um, he had Ali Costa and Brianna.
We learned is the I don't like to hear people
breathe girl. That is her Netflix moment and she loves that.
You know, Hey, you gotta go with what you look.
I don't like hearing people breathe. It's kind of weird
because they have to, but we all breathe exactly, So Brianna,
(02:19):
who else, I'm sorry? Uh, Diamond and Ali Costa, Ali Costa, Yes,
share with us, Ali Costa. So Ali is the nurse. Oh,
Alie the nurse. Okay, thirty one year old Alie the nurse, Yes, exactly. Uh.
And so she's she's a big personality as well. Um.
And I think her and Carlton were both high maintenance
in the sense of like, oh, you'll like to be bue,
(02:41):
so do I. Um, And that's kind of and they're
just they have that funny, like silly personality and they
had like these little inside jokes on like day three,
So it was cute. Did anybody make mention that maybe
he sounded like he might be fluid or he might
be bisexual? Did that come up at all from anybody? Um,
just a conversation. There was some speculation. Um, but you know,
(03:04):
you never know until you know, right Well, that's what
I mean. It's weird because you're so revealing of your personality.
We already found out that he clearly didn't reveal it
to anybody in the pods, but you're revealing a lot
of other things. So I'm just curious was it. Do
you remember hearing that as a conversation in the in
the facility at all. Yeah, there was speculation. It's just like, well,
he really likes fashion or he likes this so and
(03:27):
you know not to like stereotype. Um. But I think
besides the actual conversation, I think you can just pick
up a vibe. Um. But I mean some people have
a really good radar for that, some don't. Some are
just completely off. So it's all speculation until you actually know.
In episode four of Love is Blind, you all go
to Mexico and at the end of that or the
(03:47):
middle of that episode, it's the big reveal that you're
all there. Um, And what did you think when you
first saw him? I didn't see Carlton at the reveal.
You didn't. I didn't. The first time I saw Carlton
was like three weeks ago. Oh really, Yeah, when we
saw the right because he and Diamond had already broken
up and they were not part of that. You guys
(04:08):
never never saw Carlton. Just flew to Mexico. You weren't
on the same flights like you, So that's why you
never saw him. When you were down there, we were
under the impression that oh, it's just going to be,
you know, a vacation for me and Dame, and you
know we kind of we're thinking we're going to see
everyone else. Um, but that's about it. We were kept
(04:30):
under It was a surprise through and through. Right. So
you see him three weeks ago for the first time,
you said you had the sixth sense, your third eye
did a good job of Well, obviously you saw him
on the on the Netflix show when it came out.
So what did you think when you saw him that
he match what you envisioned? No? I really yeah, no, no, no,
I just didn't. Again, I didn't get anyone's physical appearance correct.
(04:52):
But when I saw him, I was just like, he
looks more like, he spoke calmer than I thought he
would speak, and um, he was just like very clean cut,
which was really nice. But I didn't I wasn't expecting
the bald head in the big beard. Um, so that
was fun. But yeah, I could see like why him
and Diamond could would definitely hit it off because they
just have like that really like fun, like eccentric air
(05:15):
about them. Did you talk to Diamond at all about him?
I actually didn't. Did you talk to Brianna at all
about him. Um. Brianna just shared with the group that
you know, she was really like liking him, But there
was also other girls that were vibing with him. So
maybe I think she was one of the quieter ones.
Maybe there's some other girls out there that have more insight.
(05:35):
I think India was closer to Brianna. Maybe Diamond can
tell you a little bit about her. Um. But I
didn't hear too much about what was going on of
all the of all the relationships. Was that the when
you knew the least about, like, of all the people
that got engaged. Yes, dramatically less yes, really, I was
just very well. I knew that he was in between
(05:58):
Diamond and Brianna, and I had my money on Brianna. Um.
And so it's interesting the way that that took that turn.
But I I didn't know that they were in Mexico.
I didn't know they ended up actually getting engaged. Um. Yeah,
that was a big surprise for me. When you were
in Mexico, Did you hear about what happened with Carlton
and Diamond? Did that Did that make the rounds? I
(06:19):
don't think so. I really just learned about the fact
that they were in Mexico a couple of weeks ago. Um,
there wasn't any It made sense that there were only
five couples and out six, So I didn't really question
you know, that third or that sixth couple. So she's like, okay,
it's all five of us. And no, we didn't. I
(06:41):
didn't know. Maybe someone else knew. Did they tell you
that five couples were going to Mexico? No, they did
not know. They didn't. They just told me and Damien,
we are going to Mexico. I got you. So you
had no idea that couples a got left behind that
were engaged or the Diamond and Carlton ended up having
this big blowout and uh and walked away from the show.
And you know what if this is a probably a
good time for you to weigh in because we've heard
(07:03):
post show, UM, some couples Jessica and Mark and Kenny
and Kelly saying that they weren't allowed to leave, but
clearly Diamond and Carlton left. Did you ever hear anything
about not being able to leave if you made the
trip to Mexico? Um, the word allowed is like very
(07:23):
like harsh word. I think we were definitely encouraged to
keep going and finish out the experience. If someone was
saying I don't want to be here, I can't be here,
it's more of like a okay, well, why, like are
you going through something that you just like, you know
that maybe you can work through, or like, you know,
like are you sick? Like can you physically not be here?
(07:45):
So you know a lot of times I wanted to
run away before I ran away, right, And that's just
where it's like, okay, but why why don't I want
to be here? Like what's making me want to flee this?
Because because it's really hard, like emotionally, you know, wedding
is a really big, you know, moment in my life.
It is this the way that I want to do it?
Maybe not, but at the end of the day, with
(08:07):
Carlton and Diamond leaving, you know, I guess you could
have laughed if you don't want to be with each other,
all right, So that's kind of the setup. When we return,
we are going to hear from Carlton himself as he
will help us kind of get an idea of how
and why all of what happened on the Love is
Blind series. Happen next. Welcome back to Love Insight. Love
(08:39):
Insight with G Matt money Smith here, and we are
about to talk to As a matter of fact, we're
not about to We're talking to Carlton. He is joining
us now on the pod Carlton Warton. What's happening Carlton?
What's up? What's up? Money? What's up? G? So what
is Carlton doing today? Like? What what is your life
like now? Post global phenomenon? Love is line versus because
(09:01):
obviously you shared some some things. You shared some things, uh,
and we we saw you kind of reconcile that on
the reunion show. But kind of what's life been like
for you these last couple of months? Um, it's being crazy.
Leading up to the show, you know, I was super
excited about everything and just like every other cast member,
(09:21):
waiting for that moment to see our love stories UM unfold.
Lately it's been opposite. It's almost like, oh my god,
do I even go outside today? Like a lot of
like really stayed in bed a lot um this past
week because it was a really tough week for me. UM.
(09:42):
A lot of backlash from the show. Um, people apparently
think that I'm like a horrible person who hates women,
and that's just not the case. So I've just been
trying to do everything that i can to protect my
mental health at this point. So what, UM, I guess
that the the obvious question is is if you could
(10:04):
do something different, UM, would you have? I think that
I would have not reacted. Um, there was definitely I'm
not sure if you guys seen the Entertainment Tonight interview,
but UM, there was definitely an admission of certain slurs
and different things that were thrown at me in that moment.
Um I would have reacted different to those things. Um,
(10:28):
those triggers. I would not have shut down so easily,
And to be honest, I probably would have gone with
my other choice for a proposal. Person. Who was your
other choice? Brianna? Okay, share with us who that is?
So Brianna is the person that you probably see on
the series saying that she hates hates, hates hearing people. Breed. Yes,
(10:52):
there we go, we go back to in episode one
that was one of my questions. Who is the breed?
Breed breathe? Okay, so that was your other girl? Do
you think I and Bree would have actually made it? Um?
You know what. In hindsight, Um, looking back, I feel
like it was equal with both of them, and I
kind of was like up until the last moment, indecisive
(11:15):
right before um engagement day. Knowing her now, I would
say that we really do have um a really good
chemistry and energy as it relates to UM just having
a good time, just having just no types of like
titles or anything. So I think maybe who knows? Did you?
(11:37):
Did you share with her your sexuality? I did not,
but that was because I wanted to share with the
one person that I fell in love with UM in
the pods. Had that been a conversation on the first day,
things would have gotten back to the girl's side. And
let's be real, UM, with the current climate of the
way people look at people in the LGBT community, no
(11:59):
one would have given me a chance UM or seemingly
that was the thought process at that time. I can't
speak for them, because you just never know, but that's
just the way I felt. I felt like, if I
tell it to someone else, they're going to tell my story.
It was very important for me to tell my story
to the person that I fell in love with, and
I did just that. So did you assume that because
(12:20):
that's happened to you in the past, or because you are,
you know, surrounded by cameras. I mean, I think we
were all pretty open. I assumed that. But but also
at the same time, it just what it just goes
back to me assuming that, like, you can't trust no one.
You're thrown into a house with what it's thirty total,
so twenty nine other strangers, and you don't know these
(12:42):
people's character traits, even though if you can trust them
with your story, I don't think anyone should tell your story,
just like I didn't go and tell anyone else's story
about their sexual history, which everyone keeps saying, um, which
isn't about sex because as many people know, I'm very
celibate outside of a relationship. So um yeah, I guess
(13:03):
it's the one thing that's interesting to me, Carlton, is
that you chose to tell the camera, you know what
I mean, Like, and I don't know, did you did
you maybe not know that it was going to become
this popular, or did you feel vulnerable when the cameras
were It's just interesting that that's the choice you made,
as opposed to in a in a private conversation you
know what I mean, Well, the cameras is different. You
have to understand the way production works and the way
a reality show is formatted. I had no choice but
(13:25):
to tell the cameras if I was opening up in
confessionals that day about um interviews, specifically about my life,
and then that's something I had to tell the story.
I think it's very important for people to research the
way the reality TV shows are format it so that
they can better understand me, because right now it's easy
to it's so easy to point the finger. Well I'm
(13:46):
not pointing the finger. I guess what I'm asking is no, no,
not you necessary. I know what you mean. But I'm
just saying, like you you felt like you had to
tell them that about your past, like that it was
psitory because it just seemed like there was a moment
and obviously it's all on the edite. It seems like
you kind of came to this this like, hey, you
know what, I'm comfortable doing this. I'm gonna share this
right now. Yeah, I felt like it was definitely not
(14:08):
something that was producer pitched. There's a lot of people
say like, oh, did the producers ask you know, the
producers were actually very amazing. Connectic Content did an amazing
job and facilitating how my story rolled out as it
related to me being comfortable enough to even roll it
out myself. UM. I was reassured several times that even
(14:32):
if I didn't want to say anything, I don't have
to know what. I don't feel like anyone else was forced.
And I definitely didn't feel forced or you know, like
the need to just I don't know, shout it to
the type of top of the mountain. I'm getting so
many fans from like the UK, which is interesting that
are like totally rallying and they're like, we don't even
(14:53):
you didn't even have to share that information unfortunately. I mean,
and I guess it's not unfortunately, but I just feel
like it's something that you definitely have to share, but
you have to share something like that on your timing
with the world, right. I think we felt like it
was that for you, But do you feel like it wasn't, dude,
(15:14):
I feel like it wasn't the right time. Um. I
feel like it was the right time when I seen
her face to face, because I feel like it's a
face to face conversation. UM. I just I don't necessarily
regret the timing because I think I will. I will
stand on the fact that it's just like you can't
(15:35):
tell a person when they feel when they should feel
comfortable with something. So I've allowed myself to just feel
and not beat myself up behind it. However, after receiving
the backlash, I'm like, WHOA, maybe I should have just
said it just But then every time I go to
that theory, I feel like I'm people pleasing and I'm
some robot that's doing what they want me to do
(15:55):
when they want me to do it. But I would assume,
I mean, Carlton, you know, and look e aybody that
that has some level of celebrity knows that social media
it's just a horrible, awful place. I mean, there are
very little positivity. It's it's negative the ten percent positive. Um,
I would assume you know that, what what about let's
just take social media media out of it, Like, how
(16:16):
do you feel it was received and how do you
feel about your being supported or or people you know
kind of coming after you? Um. I still don't feel
like people got the message. I feel like the message
was overshadowed by an argument. UM. And I just don't
I don't think it's fair, but you know, such as life.
So it's it's disappointing, It's like it is. It's something
(16:40):
that I'm actively working through with my therapist, because when
you're on a cast with like twenty nine other people,
you can feel some type of where you may feel
like you even need support, Like I feel like I
should at least have twenty nine people on my team
or you know, and like I've just felt super alone,
with the exception of you know, a few people are
my circle and a few cast mates. Um. It's so
(17:03):
it's just something that I'm still getting accustomed to because
my side of things is not so much a fairy
tale as it maybe for others. Well, it wasn't a
fairy seal for me either. I just I don't know.
I feel like, I mean, I I applaud you for
being open, and that is not the easiest thing to do,
especially with so many eyes and the eyes of that
(17:25):
person that you know you want to spend the rest
of your life with. Um, it's just I don't know.
Maybe maybe you're feeling that way because we all were
really open and vulnerable and shared really hard things. I know,
Amber talked about something that she went through that was
very personal with her, and I opened up about, you know,
fears and flaws that I thought were you know, make
(17:47):
it or break it situation as well. So I think
that's kind of where we're like, well, we all put
ourselves through the same situation. Yeah, but I must say
that I feel like it's a bit different for a
black man, and also in LGBT black man. Um, it's
something that you wouldn't be able to understand, which you know,
that's understandable, but um, I not to take away from
(18:09):
anyone else struggles. I definitely feel like I've had it
the worst and the hardest, and I feel like people
just still don't grasp al of that, Like they don't
they don't really understand it. But it's cool, like they
just won't. At this point, Carlton's will like take me
through your your decision to do the show, um, and
kind of what you were dealing with and and kind
(18:31):
of trying to figure out is whether or not you
wanted to do this and maybe why you decided to
do it. I decided to do the show because I
felt like it was such a cool concept of finding
true love. Like in the past, I've probably dated for
the wrong reasons, like love at first sight, the type
of situation, and it's like sometimes it's not all about
like what a person looks like, it's about how they
(18:52):
make you feel and how they are at the core.
And this show just seemed like the perfect format. That's
I decided to do it. Did you go in like
with the idea of I'm I'm gonna meet, you know,
someone of the opposite sex and we're gonna get engaged
and we're gonna get married, Like was that kind of
your ultimately and not that you can win or lose
love is blind, but was that kind of what you
thought was was kind of maybe the end game here? Yes,
(19:15):
I like really felt in my gut like, oh my god,
there's something telling me like you're gonna meet like your
wife on this show. So just do it, Like stop
trying to fight it. It's time that people like, you know,
really see what true love is and acceptance. So do it.
And I did it. And then like what percentage because
(19:37):
I would assume and I asked g this in the
first episode, like what percentage of the decision was celebrity
you know, a public you know, persona that you might
be able to have coming out of this and you
see what happens in so many of these shows and
how popular these people will come, and what part of
it was seeking love? So I'll ask you, in terms
of the pie, what percentage of it was, Maybe I
(19:57):
shouldn't do this because of my situated on my my
sexual situation. Did that ever come into your mind, um, look,
that I shouldn't do it? Yeah, that maybe that you
were ready to initially for casting. I felt like it
was very important for me to tell casting up front
that I didn't feel like I was a good fit
for it, um, just because I felt like the world
(20:22):
is like ignorant people in the world. Social media trolls
are going to immediately say, like, oh, he's gay and
he just wants to be on TV, because that is
like the perception in the community that I'm a part
of the black community. The perception is that once you
have loved demand, that you're just gay. Like and the
(20:43):
perception is also that if you love a man, then
you like male genitialia Like it's it's kind of like
it's it's kind of weird and it's kind of like sad.
But that was like my main fear because like my community. Again,
as a black man, if you're own community, it's like
going against you. And then also outsiders of other races
(21:05):
don't really just automatically see it for you or give
you the same privilege our attention. Then like you have
a double strike. So I knew that I was taking
a chance, and I'm beginning to think that like my chance,
like my assumption was correct. Well, I will say that
you know, no one should make you feel stupid for
feeling your own feelings. We all they're all valid. Um.
(21:29):
I do think that there there is a group that
is proud of you and that does support you. And
it's so hard, and I know that it is because
for a big portion of my life I felt like
everyone was against me. But I'm just kind of lending
out a helping hand where it's like, just focus on
what you do have rather than what you don't, and
(21:50):
what you do have, just like duplicate that and feel
that love because there are a lot of people that
do love you. And I think that you're a really
brave person for what you did, right. I appreciate at that, Carlton, Uh,
because I'm just a lunkheaded sports guy. I've gotta you know,
I always boil these things down to kind of you know,
winner or loss. Um, as far as your experience was
(22:12):
it was it a win or was it was it
a loss? Like would you want to do it again? Um?
I feel like I would definitely do it again because
I want to find love and I love the way
that Connecticut has like protected me in that quest to
find love because you know, ultimately the production company and
(22:33):
the network cannot like control what trolls are saying online,
you know, so that's like the only thing that would
make me be like do I need to do it again?
And like suppose someone goes crazy on me and or whatever,
like they inspiral out of control and like what am
I supposed to do? So like right now, that question
has come up a lot, and I would love to
(22:54):
find love. Um again, I would do it again. UM.
I would also like to see it a situation where
both genders get to, like, you know, date me and
we figured things out. I think that you know, the
world needs the only way that we can grow in
the right direction is through representation, and I think that
(23:16):
that would be great representation. Did you did you happen
to notice because you know what we're we're you know,
sort of doing this chronologically, so but at the same time,
I'm kind of jumping all over the place. So I'm
gonna go all the way to the reunion episode, UM,
where I thought you came out very well, UM and
and and you know, you were very honest that like
you were through the whole show, but specifically in that one.
Did you feel like things got better? And I know
(23:37):
it's just been you know, timeline wise, that it just
happened and it was just kind of published, But do
you feel like things were better following that? Following the reunion? Yeah?
Uh no, Actually they got worse. Okay if I've read
that one wrong. Yeah, we went from like five death
threats to dates and maybe seventeen. But it was mainly
just because people felt like she should have apologized to me. UM.
(24:02):
And she knows what she apologized, you know, UM, can
you share what she apologized? UM? I just think she
felt bad about some things that she said, and you
know that was up until the show actually was about
to come out. I remember like two hour long conversations
you know that were very emotional for her, and I
reassured her. Listen, this is the position I mean, this
(24:24):
is the position you're in. People are going to take
your side because of this, this and this, and like
it's it's the truth. And then like once that happened,
like I feel like the fans ended up like getting
I don't know, they just got involved in the comments
and it made things very difficult between us. Um. Just
in terms of Diamond, Um, do you like you know,
(24:49):
because like you said, some of the things she said,
do you think she was coming from a place of
you know, she was coming at you because of your
sexuality or because you didn't share it with her and
you put her in this position like what is that
stuff that that you've hashed out and you've been able
to reconcile and try to figure out why she reacted
the way she reacted. UM. I think it was a
(25:10):
mixture of the two. But I think it's also playing
off like public perception, and so when the show comes out,
it's easier to go in the direction of what ignorant
rolls think or what stereotypical in the black community. UM,
which is why in that scene you kept hearing me say,
you know, please don't be stereotypical right now because of
the types of things that were being her old, you know,
(25:32):
and it's just like from her, it's sad because we like,
we all like got came on this journey for like
one goal, and we all should be able to relate
to each other enough to understand the process that even
if things don't work out between us less at least
respect each other, you know. And I think that when
(25:54):
online trolls get involved, it just can be crazy for
two people who are new to this type of situation.
But I think that when you shared, you know, your
your life with her the first time, she was trying
to understand where you're coming from. Yeah, But I think
that the first question that we which a lot of
big LGBT organizations and activists have been reaching out about um,
(26:19):
which I really didn't pay attention to until everybody kept
saying it and I went back and watch the scene,
was like the moment that I felt, you know, safe
enough to release that information with her. The first question
was how do you know you don't want to be
with a man or something to that effect. Well, that's
the whole point of being bisexual. I didn't come out
as gay, you know, So I think we have to
(26:41):
be very careful about the things that we hear from
people that we want, that we so called want to accept,
and the way that we respond to them, because acceptance
begins with respect, and whether we may not realize it
or not, some of the things that we say in
that moment can cause a person to go back or
right into the place that they were before. I just
(27:01):
made me feel like she just wasn't the person you know,
like she's She's just not someone who would be able
to understand it, honestly, And I'm not the only person
who has felt that way. What about the the guys,
did you short with any of them? I did? You know?
Cameron was the only person who knew Um during filming
because he was like just a friend and he noticed
(27:23):
my UM persona like, you know, one day when we
got back after filming, he was like, man, is everything okay?
And I was like, no, like everything is not okay,
And you know, I'm really worried. I'm about to make
this decision between two ladies and I also have to
like share information with the person that I'm selecting it.
(27:44):
You know. It kind of like made him wonder, like, well,
what what is it like? You know, if you need
somebody to talk to type situation and I just told
him and it never got back to anyone. It never
like lead. He was very supportive. He didn't you know,
he wasn't strange or anything like that, but he definitely
with somebody who like the only person that I told.
(28:04):
Do you still have a relationship with him? Yeah, I
reach out. You know, Cameran's like Leonardo di Caprio right now, Okay,
So like when I can reach him, you know, we talk.
I'm so proud of, like you know, all of my
cast mates. Damien has reached out like repeatedly. Um he
(28:25):
you know, every time like he senses that's something or
you know, see some press or something, he will reach
out and be like, brother, you know, I'm here if
he needs to talk. Barnett also, Barnett is somebody who
reached out, was like, man, if you need me, I'm here,
Like calm me, you know whatever. Um So people have
really been um great where they you know, where they
(28:48):
should be like and it's the people that you like
would never like it's so unassuming that like you know,
because everybody like looks at somebody like Barnett who's always
joking and stuff like can he be serious? You have
the sentimental moment where he reaches out and says something,
but there's a really stand up guys. Has it affected
your work life at all? Absolutely? Yeah. There's probably like
(29:10):
five thousand emails work emails waiting for me that I
haven't even been able to say greetings, you know to um,
I guess all all I would add is uh, is
I rat g you've got anything else? Because I'll just
rab by say, Man, you've gotta get out of your mentions. Like,
as someone who has dealt with horrible mentions throughout you know,
(29:32):
the years that I have been doing this. Uh, that
is just a bad way to be living. Man. It
does not um, it just it sounds like you're way
too deep in them. And it's just man, that will
tear you apart yea, because you know who you are.
Ye at the end of the day, like, trust yourself,
love yourself, And it doesn't matter if a hundred thousand
(29:52):
people are saying you're great. If you still don't trust
yourself and love yourself, that one person that says you're not,
you will feed into that. So you really need to
of just you know, focus on what you do have
and and just at the end of the day, you
know yourself, trust yourself, You know who you are, and
that's all that matters in this world. Great, absolutely, all right, Carlton.
We're gonna end this with a little bit lighten it up.
(30:14):
We're gonna get it. Get it light here. We we
play a game with everybody that comes on and hopefully
you will participate. Here. It is love is blind or
hard pass. So what I do is I read like
six things. You only get one pass. So this is
you meet the person you know, you've fallen in love
with them in the pods. You now go face to
face and uh, you learn one of these things about them,
(30:35):
and either you're good and you're gonna roll with it,
or you're like, nope, deal breaker. All right, okay, full
on metal adult braces. Oh um, love is blind? Okay?
How about Ben in jail blind? Okay? How about doesn't
want kids? Um? Hard pass hard okay, So there we go.
(30:58):
All right, So here are the ones that we did
not get too long distance does not want Okay, you
don't want them, that's a past reduced them. Then it's
love is black. Okay, there you go. So the ones
you skipped our long distance relationship? Would you do that? Oh?
Love is blind. Okay, how about bad manners? Pass really easy,
(31:22):
fad easy, and finally dirty fingernails, oh god, like perennially
they never get clean no matter how hard they try.
They are just grea stuff. The thing it's like, it's
it's in creole culture. We say come see comes side
like so um it's it's basically, Um, I don't know
(31:46):
because like if I like you enough, I soak you
in the tube for long enough. Yes, in between, Sorry, Carlton,
we appreciate it. And again, man, love is partially blind.
Let me say that exactly. Thanks for coming on, alright,
(32:06):
good luck with everything moving forward. Alright, I appreciate it.
By so g you look, I'm obviously that's pretty intense
death threats. Uh, the amount of negativity that Carlton just
(32:27):
kind of shared with us. Um, what's it been like
for you? Like, what what is your Do you go
on Twitter? Do you stay away? I try to stay
away from Twitter, but I also face it because I'm
I'm building this this wall of like it doesn't hurt me. Um.
In the beginning, I couldn't. I was just like it
happening to me, like people don't get it. Um. And
(32:50):
I still get you know, I still get I got
your toxic, your child, your immature, your bipolar, you know,
like you don't deserve him. And it's just like, I
understand why you would say that, because everything that's shown
will pretty much I guess and whatever I you look
at it confirm that. But you don't know me. You
don't know who I am. You don't you weren't in
(33:12):
my position. You weren't in any of our shoes. I
get it. You saw what we went through sort of
beginning through end. But I don't know how many times
you know, I'm going to say it, but no one
will understand how how it wasn't even Chris will say,
you know, um, we no matter how many hours we show,
we can't transcend the physical like emotional things that these
(33:34):
people went through. So Chris, Chris Cole and the producer
he's going to join us in another episode, maybe the
next one. In the next couple episodes, you hear from
the producer about how the idea came up and in
a little bit more of the details, a little bit
more how the sausage was made. Yeah, we created all
of pretty much, um and and so it's just like
that was also a year and a half ago. So
(33:54):
through that experience, I was able to grow and learn,
and once I saw it on screen, I was just like, Okay, Damien,
maybe you're right about the way that I yell. And
I thought that that was something normal that I, you know, did,
but that's just how I grew up. But it's it's
it was a really big learning experience for me. And
when people say, oh, like, you know, like you suck
or you're toxic, it's like, well, I can be. You know,
(34:15):
obviously you can see that. I think we all can
be if we're put in random, you know, extreme situations.
But I also did a lot of you know, introspective
like work within myself during that whole experience, so I
get more positive than negative. People are just astounded at
the fact that I was able to kind of communicate
with Damien and in a more mature way once I
(34:36):
calmed down or I was able to um confess about
things that people struggle to this day about even realizing
that they have within themselves. So I do get more
positive than negative. But what I'm you know, what I
was telling Carlton is it's I've found myself focusing on
just that ten percent negative comments, and I can see
(34:58):
how easily it can just eat you up, and you know,
you can start doubting yourself and like ruin all of
that year and a half worth of work that you
did since you got off the show, and maybe realize
some things. And so what I was trying to tell
him is like, I get it, Like we all have
our own different paths, but it's all up to you
about how you handle what's been given to you. I
(35:19):
could easily, you know, stew over the ten percent of
negative comments and completely ignore how how everyone else has
been so supportive and you know, loving and um. I
really wanted to just to point that out to him,
because it really is what you make of it. Did you, uh,
did you hold anything back from Damien that you later
told him? You know much? Obviously telling someone that you
(35:42):
know you've had a relationship with the same sex in
the past is one thing. But was there anything that
you were like, Man, I wish I would have told
him this, and you waited until you guys met face
to face to share with him. Mm hmmm. I don't
think that there's anything that I was like, Oh, I
should have told him. I honestly, I is there anything
you shared that you were surprised that you shared. Yes. Um,
(36:04):
so just the fact that you know how my parents
divorced really messed me up and how like unstable I
can be and you know that I could be, you know,
this really harsh person, even though he was only seeing
these really nice, sweet sides of me. I wanted to
make sure that he knew who he was going to
propose to. And that's why I proposed to him back,
(36:25):
because I was like, I've given you everything, and you
know I want you to to pick it up and
if you can, then cool, we're in this. Um. But
after the engagement and when I saw him in a person,
the things that I warned him about he started to see.
So that's why you hear me say, well, you knew
what you're getting yourself into, you know. Um, even though
(36:48):
he didn't like physically see it or experience it, I
knew at some point it was going to come out,
because that's just me, I know myself. What do you
think about him not telling Diamond you know that that
he had been in that that he had been a
relationship with man before before they got out. I can
see both sides of it. That's just who I am. Um.
I can see why he was afraid to tell her
(37:09):
through a wall. But at the end of the day,
we all said things that we were afraid to stay
through a wall. And if you were going to get
engaged or marry this person, like you typically tell them
everything before you do that, no matter how the assumptions
that you make. And I think he really just assumed
the worst. And maybe in another you know, life, she
(37:34):
would have been more accepting of it without seeing his reaction,
you know, without having him like freak out and huff
and puff, maybe she could have taken that in a
little bit you know, easier, and that would have been
the conversation, you know, a little bit more constructive. But
I think that because it was in person, and because
he assumed the worst, and because he was saying, you
(37:56):
don't get it, you don't understand. She didn't. He didn't
know how she was going to react. He was just
kind of throwing that energy out there. So for me,
it's like, you definitely tell them before you get engaged,
because that's that's what you're telling this person, Like, hey,
this is me, I've told you everything. What happens if
you're married five years later and then she finds out
and it's just like, well, what's the foundation of our marriage?
(38:19):
Like why who are you? Really? Is there anything else
you haven't told me? So it's just a really big
trust thing obviously that I think the better the sooner
that you tell someone, hey, this is me. Once you're
in that safe space, right, once you realize, hey, I'm
going to marry you, then you tell them because then
it's up to them and you don't want to put
(38:40):
them in that position where it's like, well, I'm engaged
to you. I told my family, you know, I'm super
excited about my wedding, but like maybe this is something
that I can't deal with, and you don't want to
ever put anyone in that position. I guess, you know
from from kind of getting an idea of what happens.
You're in the pod, right, you have these emotional moments,
and then you leave the pod and you kind of
go back to a facility with a bunch of other
(39:00):
individuals that are going through very similar things you are.
They're trying to kind of reconcile everything that they've just
heard or they've just said. So from that aspect, I
get it, like you didn't get married. Yet you got engaged,
you know, so now you know that this is the
person you're interested in, and it's just an engagement. There's
no legal binding document, Your families haven't come or anything
like that. I understand. I want to be with this
(39:24):
person when I share this, so I can look them
in the eye, can hold their hand, and when we've
said it and I've put it out there, I can
take them back with me. They're not going back into
a facility with fourteen other women and not with me
where we can maybe, so I guess because he's taken
a ton of incoming for this, he said, Damien talked
you know that it has been really good and has
(39:44):
reached out them and supported him. Have you and Damien
talked about this at all or what has he told
you kind of about Carlton and his relationship with him. Yeah,
so when you when Damien and I speak about like
the girls are the guys. I have my girls back
and he has his guys back. So you we definitely
have like opposing views on that. Um, he's I'm not
(40:05):
saying that I don't agree with Carlton or anything, but
he's definitely just been like really there for him and
telling him, Hey, everything's gonna be okay, Like are you today,
Like you haven't been on social media in the past
two weeks? Like do you need someone to talk to?
And that's just Damien, That's why I love him. Um,
And I'm happy to talk to Carlton too. I just
more he's team Carlton, your your team, Diamond. I'm not
(40:27):
really team either. I'm just I'm just team you know.
Let's I think they're both wrong and I think they're
both right. I can just see both sides of it.
Anything damiensured with you after the engagement that you were like, dude,
would have been great to know that. Um, No, I
(40:48):
pretty much knew everything right. Yeah, we both like lived
with we both lived in our So I lived in
my friend's basement at the time. He lived in his
parents basement at the time. Yeah what so he was
living in his parents basement and I was living in
my friend's basement. That the your business partner. Yeah, okay,
so you're he lived with his parents. Still, did he
(41:11):
tell you that when you guys run the pods? He
told me that, And I was just like, well, I
can't judge you. I'm living with my friend's parents. And
it's just because did you guys decide which basement you
were going to move into after you got married? So
I had my apartment lined up a couple yeah, right
after Well, during the show, I was like, yeah, I'm
going to move out soon, you can live with me. Um,
but I knew why I was in my friend's baseman.
(41:33):
I was like, I'm saving money. I'm trying to build
my own company. Like what are you doing? I'm trying
to do the same thing. And um, you know, I'm
not here to judge anyone because I'm literally in the
same position as you are, so you know, see, I'm
judging both of you. I've got a daughter in college
and she is not moving back into the basement. That's
(41:54):
what I That's what my takeaway from this is how
old is Damien Damiens when six year old is not
living in my basement? Yeah, well I moved out. I've
just seen into the future and I don't like what
I see. Really well, I moved out of my parents
house when I was eighteen, and I was, you know,
all by myself in Atlanta up until I was you
know still, and um, it wasn't for me. It wasn't planned.
(42:18):
I was going to live in my friend's basement for
like two months until we found a place together and
ended up just like working out. I was finally like
found a family that would I didn't feel so alone,
um and in that sense, I was just really grateful
for it, and I ended up saving a good bet. Alright, fine,
you've turned me around just like that. She can live
with me, so she can afford a house, rely on
(42:40):
some dude provided for yeah. Alright, So that is our
our Carlton episode. We'll get to Diamond a little bit later.
Still to come. We're gonna sit down with Damiens. Still
to come Chris Cole, and we mentioned so be sure
to subscribe because as the series continues, you're going to
get a whole lot more insight on Love Insight as
we cover everything love is Blind. Subscribe to Love Insight
(43:01):
on I Heart Radio or however you get your podcasts.
H
Alright, it's episode three, Love and Sight with g A
Nina lady. I got it. You know what, we take
some time off, I come back. I have to reset
pretty soon. I'm gonna be able to say it quickly.
But it's g and we're here because this is the
do in the Carlton episode. We're going to hear from
Carlton in in a minute. G. But because you were there,
(00:28):
and because we only get to see you know however
many minutes, Netflix wants to provide us. Why don't you
share with us kind of what you thought of Let's
start in the pods when you first met Carlton, when
you first dated Carlton, what you thought of him? Um,
I didn't remember him so much. I because I think
we only had one date, just the speed date, just
(00:49):
the speed date. I don't think we vibed with each other.
So I think he might have been like ten or below.
You know, John was fifteen. John was definitely fifteen. Just
keep needed to keep resetting that, putting that. You know,
I don't really like to talk. I don't like to
talk about about people. I'm not talking about about John.
I'm just saying the truth about So Carlton was like ten.
(01:13):
Carlson was like ten. He was very just like a
little pompous for me. Um, you know when someone kind
of like talks himself up. I'm like, but why um so,
but he was great. I mean he had he had
like a definitely a flare to him. I know a
lot of the other girls were like, he's so funny,
and I'm like, I didn't get that. But um, you know,
to each throne, how many people in the in the facility,
(01:37):
like the Carlton do you remember? Um? I think like
a good like five girls out of the fifteen were
like or actually more and more like abround three of
them are actually vibing with him and we're like, oh,
I kind of want to Dana for real. And then
the other girls were like he's a good time to
talk to. Um. But clearly you had diamond. He had diamond.
(01:57):
He had Brianna. Um, he had Ali Costa and Brianna.
We learned is the I don't like to hear people
breathe girl. That is her Netflix moment and she loves that.
You know, Hey, you gotta go with what you look.
I don't like hearing people breathe. It's kind of weird
because they have to, but we all breathe exactly, So Brianna,
(02:19):
who else, I'm sorry? Uh, Diamond and Ali Costa, Ali Costa, Yes,
share with us, Ali Costa. So Ali is the nurse. Oh,
Alie the nurse. Okay, thirty one year old Alie the nurse, Yes, exactly. Uh.
And so she's she's a big personality as well. Um.
And I think her and Carlton were both high maintenance
in the sense of like, oh, you'll like to be bue,
(02:41):
so do I. Um, And that's kind of and they're
just they have that funny, like silly personality and they
had like these little inside jokes on like day three,
So it was cute. Did anybody make mention that maybe
he sounded like he might be fluid or he might
be bisexual? Did that come up at all from anybody? Um,
just a conversation. There was some speculation. Um, but you know,
(03:04):
you never know until you know, right Well, that's what
I mean. It's weird because you're so revealing of your personality.
We already found out that he clearly didn't reveal it
to anybody in the pods, but you're revealing a lot
of other things. So I'm just curious was it. Do
you remember hearing that as a conversation in the in
the facility at all. Yeah, there was speculation. It's just like, well,
he really likes fashion or he likes this so and
(03:27):
you know not to like stereotype. Um. But I think
besides the actual conversation, I think you can just pick
up a vibe. Um. But I mean some people have
a really good radar for that, some don't. Some are
just completely off. So it's all speculation until you actually know.
In episode four of Love is Blind, you all go
to Mexico and at the end of that or the
(03:47):
middle of that episode, it's the big reveal that you're
all there. Um, And what did you think when you
first saw him? I didn't see Carlton at the reveal.
You didn't. I didn't. The first time I saw Carlton
was like three weeks ago. Oh really, Yeah, when we
saw the right because he and Diamond had already broken
up and they were not part of that. You guys
(04:08):
never never saw Carlton. Just flew to Mexico. You weren't
on the same flights like you, So that's why you
never saw him. When you were down there, we were
under the impression that oh, it's just going to be,
you know, a vacation for me and Dame, and you
know we kind of we're thinking we're going to see
everyone else. Um, but that's about it. We were kept
(04:30):
under It was a surprise through and through. Right. So
you see him three weeks ago for the first time,
you said you had the sixth sense, your third eye
did a good job of Well, obviously you saw him
on the on the Netflix show when it came out.
So what did you think when you saw him that
he match what you envisioned? No? I really yeah, no, no, no,
I just didn't. Again, I didn't get anyone's physical appearance correct.
(04:52):
But when I saw him, I was just like, he
looks more like, he spoke calmer than I thought he
would speak, and um, he was just like very clean cut,
which was really nice. But I didn't I wasn't expecting
the bald head in the big beard. Um, so that
was fun. But yeah, I could see like why him
and Diamond could would definitely hit it off because they
just have like that really like fun, like eccentric air
(05:15):
about them. Did you talk to Diamond at all about him?
I actually didn't. Did you talk to Brianna at all
about him. Um. Brianna just shared with the group that
you know, she was really like liking him, But there
was also other girls that were vibing with him. So
maybe I think she was one of the quieter ones.
Maybe there's some other girls out there that have more insight.
(05:35):
I think India was closer to Brianna. Maybe Diamond can
tell you a little bit about her. Um. But I
didn't hear too much about what was going on of
all the of all the relationships. Was that the when
you knew the least about, like, of all the people
that got engaged. Yes, dramatically less yes, really, I was
just very well. I knew that he was in between
(05:58):
Diamond and Brianna, and I had my money on Brianna. Um.
And so it's interesting the way that that took that turn.
But I I didn't know that they were in Mexico.
I didn't know they ended up actually getting engaged. Um. Yeah,
that was a big surprise for me. When you were
in Mexico, Did you hear about what happened with Carlton
and Diamond? Did that Did that make the rounds? I
(06:19):
don't think so. I really just learned about the fact
that they were in Mexico a couple of weeks ago. Um,
there wasn't any It made sense that there were only
five couples and out six, So I didn't really question
you know, that third or that sixth couple. So she's like, okay,
it's all five of us. And no, we didn't. I
(06:41):
didn't know. Maybe someone else knew. Did they tell you
that five couples were going to Mexico? No, they did
not know. They didn't. They just told me and Damien,
we are going to Mexico. I got you. So you
had no idea that couples a got left behind that
were engaged or the Diamond and Carlton ended up having
this big blowout and uh and walked away from the show.
And you know what if this is a probably a
good time for you to weigh in because we've heard
(07:03):
post show, UM, some couples Jessica and Mark and Kenny
and Kelly saying that they weren't allowed to leave, but
clearly Diamond and Carlton left. Did you ever hear anything
about not being able to leave if you made the
trip to Mexico? Um, the word allowed is like very
(07:23):
like harsh word. I think we were definitely encouraged to
keep going and finish out the experience. If someone was
saying I don't want to be here, I can't be here,
it's more of like a okay, well, why, like are
you going through something that you just like, you know
that maybe you can work through, or like, you know,
like are you sick? Like can you physically not be here?
(07:45):
So you know a lot of times I wanted to
run away before I ran away, right, And that's just
where it's like, okay, but why why don't I want
to be here? Like what's making me want to flee this?
Because because it's really hard, like emotionally, you know, wedding
is a really big, you know, moment in my life.
It is this the way that I want to do it?
Maybe not, but at the end of the day, with
(08:07):
Carlton and Diamond leaving, you know, I guess you could
have laughed if you don't want to be with each other,
all right, So that's kind of the setup. When we return,
we are going to hear from Carlton himself as he
will help us kind of get an idea of how
and why all of what happened on the Love is
Blind series. Happen next. Welcome back to Love Insight. Love
(08:39):
Insight with G Matt money Smith here, and we are
about to talk to As a matter of fact, we're
not about to We're talking to Carlton. He is joining
us now on the pod Carlton Warton. What's happening Carlton?
What's up? What's up? Money? What's up? G? So what
is Carlton doing today? Like? What what is your life
like now? Post global phenomenon? Love is line versus because
(09:01):
obviously you shared some some things. You shared some things, uh,
and we we saw you kind of reconcile that on
the reunion show. But kind of what's life been like
for you these last couple of months? Um, it's being crazy.
Leading up to the show, you know, I was super
excited about everything and just like every other cast member,
(09:21):
waiting for that moment to see our love stories UM unfold.
Lately it's been opposite. It's almost like, oh my god,
do I even go outside today? Like a lot of
like really stayed in bed a lot um this past
week because it was a really tough week for me. UM.
(09:42):
A lot of backlash from the show. Um, people apparently
think that I'm like a horrible person who hates women,
and that's just not the case. So I've just been
trying to do everything that i can to protect my
mental health at this point. So what, UM, I guess
that the the obvious question is is if you could
(10:04):
do something different, UM, would you have? I think that
I would have not reacted. Um, there was definitely I'm
not sure if you guys seen the Entertainment Tonight interview,
but UM, there was definitely an admission of certain slurs
and different things that were thrown at me in that moment.
Um I would have reacted different to those things. Um,
(10:28):
those triggers. I would not have shut down so easily,
And to be honest, I probably would have gone with
my other choice for a proposal. Person. Who was your
other choice? Brianna? Okay, share with us who that is?
So Brianna is the person that you probably see on
the series saying that she hates hates, hates hearing people. Breed. Yes,
(10:52):
there we go, we go back to in episode one
that was one of my questions. Who is the breed?
Breed breathe? Okay, so that was your other girl? Do
you think I and Bree would have actually made it? Um?
You know what. In hindsight, Um, looking back, I feel
like it was equal with both of them, and I
kind of was like up until the last moment, indecisive
(11:15):
right before um engagement day. Knowing her now, I would
say that we really do have um a really good
chemistry and energy as it relates to UM just having
a good time, just having just no types of like
titles or anything. So I think maybe who knows? Did you?
(11:37):
Did you share with her your sexuality? I did not,
but that was because I wanted to share with the
one person that I fell in love with UM in
the pods. Had that been a conversation on the first day,
things would have gotten back to the girl's side. And
let's be real, UM, with the current climate of the
way people look at people in the LGBT community, no
(11:59):
one would have given me a chance UM or seemingly
that was the thought process at that time. I can't
speak for them, because you just never know, but that's
just the way I felt. I felt like, if I
tell it to someone else, they're going to tell my story.
It was very important for me to tell my story
to the person that I fell in love with, and
I did just that. So did you assume that because
(12:20):
that's happened to you in the past, or because you are,
you know, surrounded by cameras. I mean, I think we
were all pretty open. I assumed that. But but also
at the same time, it just what it just goes
back to me assuming that, like, you can't trust no one.
You're thrown into a house with what it's thirty total,
so twenty nine other strangers, and you don't know these
(12:42):
people's character traits, even though if you can trust them
with your story, I don't think anyone should tell your story,
just like I didn't go and tell anyone else's story
about their sexual history, which everyone keeps saying, um, which
isn't about sex because as many people know, I'm very
celibate outside of a relationship. So um yeah, I guess
(13:03):
it's the one thing that's interesting to me, Carlton, is
that you chose to tell the camera, you know what
I mean, Like, and I don't know, did you did
you maybe not know that it was going to become
this popular, or did you feel vulnerable when the cameras
were It's just interesting that that's the choice you made,
as opposed to in a in a private conversation you
know what I mean, Well, the cameras is different. You
have to understand the way production works and the way
a reality show is formatted. I had no choice but
(13:25):
to tell the cameras if I was opening up in
confessionals that day about um interviews, specifically about my life,
and then that's something I had to tell the story.
I think it's very important for people to research the
way the reality TV shows are format it so that
they can better understand me, because right now it's easy
to it's so easy to point the finger. Well I'm
(13:46):
not pointing the finger. I guess what I'm asking is no, no,
not you necessary. I know what you mean. But I'm
just saying, like you you felt like you had to
tell them that about your past, like that it was
psitory because it just seemed like there was a moment
and obviously it's all on the edite. It seems like
you kind of came to this this like, hey, you
know what, I'm comfortable doing this. I'm gonna share this
right now. Yeah, I felt like it was definitely not
(14:08):
something that was producer pitched. There's a lot of people
say like, oh, did the producers ask you know, the
producers were actually very amazing. Connectic Content did an amazing
job and facilitating how my story rolled out as it
related to me being comfortable enough to even roll it
out myself. UM. I was reassured several times that even
(14:32):
if I didn't want to say anything, I don't have
to know what. I don't feel like anyone else was forced.
And I definitely didn't feel forced or you know, like
the need to just I don't know, shout it to
the type of top of the mountain. I'm getting so
many fans from like the UK, which is interesting that
are like totally rallying and they're like, we don't even
(14:53):
you didn't even have to share that information unfortunately. I mean,
and I guess it's not unfortunately, but I just feel
like it's something that you definitely have to share, but
you have to share something like that on your timing
with the world, right. I think we felt like it
was that for you, But do you feel like it wasn't, dude,
(15:14):
I feel like it wasn't the right time. Um. I
feel like it was the right time when I seen
her face to face, because I feel like it's a
face to face conversation. UM. I just I don't necessarily
regret the timing because I think I will. I will
stand on the fact that it's just like you can't
(15:35):
tell a person when they feel when they should feel
comfortable with something. So I've allowed myself to just feel
and not beat myself up behind it. However, after receiving
the backlash, I'm like, WHOA, maybe I should have just
said it just But then every time I go to
that theory, I feel like I'm people pleasing and I'm
some robot that's doing what they want me to do
(15:55):
when they want me to do it. But I would assume,
I mean, Carlton, you know, and look e aybody that
that has some level of celebrity knows that social media
it's just a horrible, awful place. I mean, there are
very little positivity. It's it's negative the ten percent positive. Um,
I would assume you know that, what what about let's
just take social media media out of it, Like, how
(16:16):
do you feel it was received and how do you
feel about your being supported or or people you know
kind of coming after you? Um. I still don't feel
like people got the message. I feel like the message
was overshadowed by an argument. UM. And I just don't
I don't think it's fair, but you know, such as life.
So it's it's disappointing, It's like it is. It's something
(16:40):
that I'm actively working through with my therapist, because when
you're on a cast with like twenty nine other people,
you can feel some type of where you may feel
like you even need support, Like I feel like I
should at least have twenty nine people on my team
or you know, and like I've just felt super alone,
with the exception of you know, a few people are
my circle and a few cast mates. Um. It's so
(17:03):
it's just something that I'm still getting accustomed to because
my side of things is not so much a fairy
tale as it maybe for others. Well, it wasn't a
fairy seal for me either. I just I don't know.
I feel like, I mean, I I applaud you for
being open, and that is not the easiest thing to do,
especially with so many eyes and the eyes of that
(17:25):
person that you know you want to spend the rest
of your life with. Um, it's just I don't know.
Maybe maybe you're feeling that way because we all were
really open and vulnerable and shared really hard things. I know,
Amber talked about something that she went through that was
very personal with her, and I opened up about, you know,
fears and flaws that I thought were you know, make
(17:47):
it or break it situation as well. So I think
that's kind of where we're like, well, we all put
ourselves through the same situation. Yeah, but I must say
that I feel like it's a bit different for a
black man, and also in LGBT black man. Um, it's
something that you wouldn't be able to understand, which you know,
that's understandable, but um, I not to take away from
(18:09):
anyone else struggles. I definitely feel like I've had it
the worst and the hardest, and I feel like people
just still don't grasp al of that, Like they don't
they don't really understand it. But it's cool, like they
just won't. At this point, Carlton's will like take me
through your your decision to do the show, um, and
kind of what you were dealing with and and kind
(18:31):
of trying to figure out is whether or not you
wanted to do this and maybe why you decided to
do it. I decided to do the show because I
felt like it was such a cool concept of finding
true love. Like in the past, I've probably dated for
the wrong reasons, like love at first sight, the type
of situation, and it's like sometimes it's not all about
like what a person looks like, it's about how they
(18:52):
make you feel and how they are at the core.
And this show just seemed like the perfect format. That's
I decided to do it. Did you go in like
with the idea of I'm I'm gonna meet, you know,
someone of the opposite sex and we're gonna get engaged
and we're gonna get married, Like was that kind of
your ultimately and not that you can win or lose
love is blind, but was that kind of what you
thought was was kind of maybe the end game here? Yes,
(19:15):
I like really felt in my gut like, oh my god,
there's something telling me like you're gonna meet like your
wife on this show. So just do it, Like stop
trying to fight it. It's time that people like, you know,
really see what true love is and acceptance. So do it.
And I did it. And then like what percentage because
(19:37):
I would assume and I asked g this in the
first episode, like what percentage of the decision was celebrity
you know, a public you know, persona that you might
be able to have coming out of this and you
see what happens in so many of these shows and
how popular these people will come, and what part of
it was seeking love? So I'll ask you, in terms
of the pie, what percentage of it was, Maybe I
(19:57):
shouldn't do this because of my situated on my my
sexual situation. Did that ever come into your mind, um, look,
that I shouldn't do it? Yeah, that maybe that you
were ready to initially for casting. I felt like it
was very important for me to tell casting up front
that I didn't feel like I was a good fit
for it, um, just because I felt like the world
(20:22):
is like ignorant people in the world. Social media trolls
are going to immediately say, like, oh, he's gay and
he just wants to be on TV, because that is
like the perception in the community that I'm a part
of the black community. The perception is that once you
have loved demand, that you're just gay. Like and the
(20:43):
perception is also that if you love a man, then
you like male genitialia Like it's it's kind of like
it's it's kind of weird and it's kind of like sad.
But that was like my main fear because like my community. Again,
as a black man, if you're own community, it's like
going against you. And then also outsiders of other races
(21:05):
don't really just automatically see it for you or give
you the same privilege our attention. Then like you have
a double strike. So I knew that I was taking
a chance, and I'm beginning to think that like my chance,
like my assumption was correct. Well, I will say that
you know, no one should make you feel stupid for
feeling your own feelings. We all they're all valid. Um.
(21:29):
I do think that there there is a group that
is proud of you and that does support you. And
it's so hard, and I know that it is because
for a big portion of my life I felt like
everyone was against me. But I'm just kind of lending
out a helping hand where it's like, just focus on
what you do have rather than what you don't, and
(21:50):
what you do have, just like duplicate that and feel
that love because there are a lot of people that
do love you. And I think that you're a really
brave person for what you did, right. I appreciate at that, Carlton, Uh,
because I'm just a lunkheaded sports guy. I've gotta you know,
I always boil these things down to kind of you know,
winner or loss. Um, as far as your experience was
(22:12):
it was it a win or was it was it
a loss? Like would you want to do it again? Um?
I feel like I would definitely do it again because
I want to find love and I love the way
that Connecticut has like protected me in that quest to
find love because you know, ultimately the production company and
(22:33):
the network cannot like control what trolls are saying online,
you know, so that's like the only thing that would
make me be like do I need to do it again?
And like suppose someone goes crazy on me and or whatever,
like they inspiral out of control and like what am
I supposed to do? So like right now, that question
has come up a lot, and I would love to
(22:54):
find love. Um again, I would do it again. UM.
I would also like to see it a situation where
both genders get to, like, you know, date me and
we figured things out. I think that you know, the
world needs the only way that we can grow in
the right direction is through representation, and I think that
(23:16):
that would be great representation. Did you did you happen
to notice because you know what we're we're you know,
sort of doing this chronologically, so but at the same time,
I'm kind of jumping all over the place. So I'm
gonna go all the way to the reunion episode, UM,
where I thought you came out very well, UM and
and and you know, you were very honest that like
you were through the whole show, but specifically in that one.
Did you feel like things got better? And I know
(23:37):
it's just been you know, timeline wise, that it just
happened and it was just kind of published, But do
you feel like things were better following that? Following the reunion? Yeah?
Uh no, Actually they got worse. Okay if I've read
that one wrong. Yeah, we went from like five death
threats to dates and maybe seventeen. But it was mainly
just because people felt like she should have apologized to me. UM.
(24:02):
And she knows what she apologized, you know, UM, can
you share what she apologized? UM? I just think she
felt bad about some things that she said, and you
know that was up until the show actually was about
to come out. I remember like two hour long conversations
you know that were very emotional for her, and I
reassured her. Listen, this is the position I mean, this
(24:24):
is the position you're in. People are going to take
your side because of this, this and this, and like
it's it's the truth. And then like once that happened,
like I feel like the fans ended up like getting
I don't know, they just got involved in the comments
and it made things very difficult between us. Um. Just
in terms of Diamond, Um, do you like you know,
(24:49):
because like you said, some of the things she said,
do you think she was coming from a place of
you know, she was coming at you because of your
sexuality or because you didn't share it with her and
you put her in this position like what is that
stuff that that you've hashed out and you've been able
to reconcile and try to figure out why she reacted
the way she reacted. UM. I think it was a
(25:10):
mixture of the two. But I think it's also playing
off like public perception, and so when the show comes out,
it's easier to go in the direction of what ignorant
rolls think or what stereotypical in the black community. UM,
which is why in that scene you kept hearing me say,
you know, please don't be stereotypical right now because of
the types of things that were being her old, you know,
(25:32):
and it's just like from her, it's sad because we like,
we all like got came on this journey for like
one goal, and we all should be able to relate
to each other enough to understand the process that even
if things don't work out between us less at least
respect each other, you know. And I think that when
(25:54):
online trolls get involved, it just can be crazy for
two people who are new to this type of situation.
But I think that when you shared, you know, your
your life with her the first time, she was trying
to understand where you're coming from. Yeah, But I think
that the first question that we which a lot of
big LGBT organizations and activists have been reaching out about um,
(26:19):
which I really didn't pay attention to until everybody kept
saying it and I went back and watch the scene,
was like the moment that I felt, you know, safe
enough to release that information with her. The first question
was how do you know you don't want to be
with a man or something to that effect. Well, that's
the whole point of being bisexual. I didn't come out
as gay, you know, So I think we have to
(26:41):
be very careful about the things that we hear from
people that we want, that we so called want to accept,
and the way that we respond to them, because acceptance
begins with respect, and whether we may not realize it
or not, some of the things that we say in
that moment can cause a person to go back or
right into the place that they were before. I just
(27:01):
made me feel like she just wasn't the person you know,
like she's She's just not someone who would be able
to understand it, honestly, And I'm not the only person
who has felt that way. What about the the guys,
did you short with any of them? I did? You know?
Cameron was the only person who knew Um during filming
because he was like just a friend and he noticed
(27:23):
my UM persona like, you know, one day when we
got back after filming, he was like, man, is everything okay?
And I was like, no, like everything is not okay,
And you know, I'm really worried. I'm about to make
this decision between two ladies and I also have to
like share information with the person that I'm selecting it.
(27:44):
You know. It kind of like made him wonder, like, well,
what what is it like? You know, if you need
somebody to talk to type situation and I just told
him and it never got back to anyone. It never
like lead. He was very supportive. He didn't you know,
he wasn't strange or anything like that, but he definitely
with somebody who like the only person that I told.
(28:04):
Do you still have a relationship with him? Yeah, I
reach out. You know, Cameran's like Leonardo di Caprio right now, Okay,
So like when I can reach him, you know, we talk.
I'm so proud of, like you know, all of my
cast mates. Damien has reached out like repeatedly. Um he
(28:25):
you know, every time like he senses that's something or
you know, see some press or something, he will reach
out and be like, brother, you know, I'm here if
he needs to talk. Barnett also, Barnett is somebody who
reached out, was like, man, if you need me, I'm here,
Like calm me, you know whatever. Um So people have
really been um great where they you know, where they
(28:48):
should be like and it's the people that you like
would never like it's so unassuming that like you know,
because everybody like looks at somebody like Barnett who's always
joking and stuff like can he be serious? You have
the sentimental moment where he reaches out and says something,
but there's a really stand up guys. Has it affected
your work life at all? Absolutely? Yeah. There's probably like
(29:10):
five thousand emails work emails waiting for me that I
haven't even been able to say greetings, you know to um,
I guess all all I would add is uh, is
I rat g you've got anything else? Because I'll just
rab by say, Man, you've gotta get out of your mentions. Like,
as someone who has dealt with horrible mentions throughout you know,
(29:32):
the years that I have been doing this. Uh, that
is just a bad way to be living. Man. It
does not um, it just it sounds like you're way
too deep in them. And it's just man, that will
tear you apart yea, because you know who you are.
Ye at the end of the day, like, trust yourself,
love yourself, And it doesn't matter if a hundred thousand
(29:52):
people are saying you're great. If you still don't trust
yourself and love yourself, that one person that says you're not,
you will feed into that. So you really need to
of just you know, focus on what you do have
and and just at the end of the day, you
know yourself, trust yourself, You know who you are, and
that's all that matters in this world. Great, absolutely, all right, Carlton.
We're gonna end this with a little bit lighten it up.
(30:14):
We're gonna get it. Get it light here. We we
play a game with everybody that comes on and hopefully
you will participate. Here. It is love is blind or
hard pass. So what I do is I read like
six things. You only get one pass. So this is
you meet the person you know, you've fallen in love
with them in the pods. You now go face to
face and uh, you learn one of these things about them,
(30:35):
and either you're good and you're gonna roll with it,
or you're like, nope, deal breaker. All right, okay, full
on metal adult braces. Oh um, love is blind? Okay?
How about Ben in jail blind? Okay? How about doesn't
want kids? Um? Hard pass hard okay, So there we go.
(30:58):
All right, So here are the ones that we did
not get too long distance does not want Okay, you
don't want them, that's a past reduced them. Then it's
love is black. Okay, there you go. So the ones
you skipped our long distance relationship? Would you do that? Oh?
Love is blind. Okay, how about bad manners? Pass really easy,
(31:22):
fad easy, and finally dirty fingernails, oh god, like perennially
they never get clean no matter how hard they try.
They are just grea stuff. The thing it's like, it's
it's in creole culture. We say come see comes side
like so um it's it's basically, Um, I don't know
(31:46):
because like if I like you enough, I soak you
in the tube for long enough. Yes, in between, Sorry, Carlton,
we appreciate it. And again, man, love is partially blind.
Let me say that exactly. Thanks for coming on, alright,
(32:06):
good luck with everything moving forward. Alright, I appreciate it.
By so g you look, I'm obviously that's pretty intense
death threats. Uh, the amount of negativity that Carlton just
(32:27):
kind of shared with us. Um, what's it been like
for you? Like, what what is your Do you go
on Twitter? Do you stay away? I try to stay
away from Twitter, but I also face it because I'm
I'm building this this wall of like it doesn't hurt me. Um.
In the beginning, I couldn't. I was just like it
happening to me, like people don't get it. Um. And
(32:50):
I still get you know, I still get I got
your toxic, your child, your immature, your bipolar, you know,
like you don't deserve him. And it's just like, I
understand why you would say that, because everything that's shown
will pretty much I guess and whatever I you look
at it confirm that. But you don't know me. You
don't know who I am. You don't you weren't in
(33:12):
my position. You weren't in any of our shoes. I
get it. You saw what we went through sort of
beginning through end. But I don't know how many times
you know, I'm going to say it, but no one
will understand how how it wasn't even Chris will say,
you know, um, we no matter how many hours we show,
we can't transcend the physical like emotional things that these
(33:34):
people went through. So Chris, Chris Cole and the producer
he's going to join us in another episode, maybe the
next one. In the next couple episodes, you hear from
the producer about how the idea came up and in
a little bit more of the details, a little bit
more how the sausage was made. Yeah, we created all
of pretty much, um and and so it's just like
that was also a year and a half ago. So
(33:54):
through that experience, I was able to grow and learn,
and once I saw it on screen, I was just like, Okay, Damien,
maybe you're right about the way that I yell. And
I thought that that was something normal that I, you know, did,
but that's just how I grew up. But it's it's
it was a really big learning experience for me. And
when people say, oh, like, you know, like you suck
or you're toxic, it's like, well, I can be. You know,
(34:15):
obviously you can see that. I think we all can
be if we're put in random, you know, extreme situations.
But I also did a lot of you know, introspective
like work within myself during that whole experience, so I
get more positive than negative. People are just astounded at
the fact that I was able to kind of communicate
with Damien and in a more mature way once I
(34:36):
calmed down or I was able to um confess about
things that people struggle to this day about even realizing
that they have within themselves. So I do get more
positive than negative. But what I'm you know, what I
was telling Carlton is it's I've found myself focusing on
just that ten percent negative comments, and I can see
(34:58):
how easily it can just eat you up, and you know,
you can start doubting yourself and like ruin all of
that year and a half worth of work that you
did since you got off the show, and maybe realize
some things. And so what I was trying to tell
him is like, I get it, Like we all have
our own different paths, but it's all up to you
about how you handle what's been given to you. I
(35:19):
could easily, you know, stew over the ten percent of
negative comments and completely ignore how how everyone else has
been so supportive and you know, loving and um. I
really wanted to just to point that out to him,
because it really is what you make of it. Did you, uh,
did you hold anything back from Damien that you later
told him? You know much? Obviously telling someone that you
(35:42):
know you've had a relationship with the same sex in
the past is one thing. But was there anything that
you were like, Man, I wish I would have told
him this, and you waited until you guys met face
to face to share with him. Mm hmmm. I don't
think that there's anything that I was like, Oh, I
should have told him. I honestly, I is there anything
you shared that you were surprised that you shared. Yes. Um,
(36:04):
so just the fact that you know how my parents
divorced really messed me up and how like unstable I
can be and you know that I could be, you know,
this really harsh person, even though he was only seeing
these really nice, sweet sides of me. I wanted to
make sure that he knew who he was going to
propose to. And that's why I proposed to him back,
(36:25):
because I was like, I've given you everything, and you
know I want you to to pick it up and
if you can, then cool, we're in this. Um. But
after the engagement and when I saw him in a person,
the things that I warned him about he started to see.
So that's why you hear me say, well, you knew
what you're getting yourself into, you know. Um, even though
(36:48):
he didn't like physically see it or experience it, I
knew at some point it was going to come out,
because that's just me, I know myself. What do you
think about him not telling Diamond you know that that
he had been in that that he had been a
relationship with man before before they got out. I can
see both sides of it. That's just who I am. Um.
I can see why he was afraid to tell her
(37:09):
through a wall. But at the end of the day,
we all said things that we were afraid to stay
through a wall. And if you were going to get
engaged or marry this person, like you typically tell them
everything before you do that, no matter how the assumptions
that you make. And I think he really just assumed
the worst. And maybe in another you know, life, she
(37:34):
would have been more accepting of it without seeing his reaction,
you know, without having him like freak out and huff
and puff, maybe she could have taken that in a
little bit you know, easier, and that would have been
the conversation, you know, a little bit more constructive. But
I think that because it was in person, and because
he assumed the worst, and because he was saying, you
(37:56):
don't get it, you don't understand. She didn't. He didn't
know how she was going to react. He was just
kind of throwing that energy out there. So for me,
it's like, you definitely tell them before you get engaged,
because that's that's what you're telling this person, Like, hey,
this is me, I've told you everything. What happens if
you're married five years later and then she finds out
and it's just like, well, what's the foundation of our marriage?
(38:19):
Like why who are you? Really? Is there anything else
you haven't told me? So it's just a really big
trust thing obviously that I think the better the sooner
that you tell someone, hey, this is me. Once you're
in that safe space, right, once you realize, hey, I'm
going to marry you, then you tell them because then
it's up to them and you don't want to put
(38:40):
them in that position where it's like, well, I'm engaged
to you. I told my family, you know, I'm super
excited about my wedding, but like maybe this is something
that I can't deal with, and you don't want to
ever put anyone in that position. I guess, you know
from from kind of getting an idea of what happens.
You're in the pod, right, you have these emotional moments,
and then you leave the pod and you kind of
go back to a facility with a bunch of other
(39:00):
individuals that are going through very similar things you are.
They're trying to kind of reconcile everything that they've just
heard or they've just said. So from that aspect, I
get it, like you didn't get married. Yet you got engaged,
you know, so now you know that this is the
person you're interested in, and it's just an engagement. There's
no legal binding document, Your families haven't come or anything
like that. I understand. I want to be with this
(39:24):
person when I share this, so I can look them
in the eye, can hold their hand, and when we've
said it and I've put it out there, I can
take them back with me. They're not going back into
a facility with fourteen other women and not with me
where we can maybe, so I guess because he's taken
a ton of incoming for this, he said, Damien talked
you know that it has been really good and has
(39:44):
reached out them and supported him. Have you and Damien
talked about this at all or what has he told
you kind of about Carlton and his relationship with him. Yeah,
so when you when Damien and I speak about like
the girls are the guys. I have my girls back
and he has his guys back. So you we definitely
have like opposing views on that. Um, he's I'm not
(40:05):
saying that I don't agree with Carlton or anything, but
he's definitely just been like really there for him and
telling him, Hey, everything's gonna be okay, Like are you today,
Like you haven't been on social media in the past
two weeks? Like do you need someone to talk to?
And that's just Damien, That's why I love him. Um,
And I'm happy to talk to Carlton too. I just
more he's team Carlton, your your team, Diamond. I'm not
(40:27):
really team either. I'm just I'm just team you know.
Let's I think they're both wrong and I think they're
both right. I can just see both sides of it.
Anything damiensured with you after the engagement that you were like, dude,
would have been great to know that. Um, No, I
(40:48):
pretty much knew everything right. Yeah, we both like lived
with we both lived in our So I lived in
my friend's basement at the time. He lived in his
parents basement at the time. Yeah what so he was
living in his parents basement and I was living in
my friend's basement. That the your business partner. Yeah, okay,
so you're he lived with his parents. Still, did he
(41:11):
tell you that when you guys run the pods? He
told me that, And I was just like, well, I
can't judge you. I'm living with my friend's parents. And
it's just because did you guys decide which basement you
were going to move into after you got married? So
I had my apartment lined up a couple yeah, right
after Well, during the show, I was like, yeah, I'm
going to move out soon, you can live with me. Um,
but I knew why I was in my friend's baseman.
(41:33):
I was like, I'm saving money. I'm trying to build
my own company. Like what are you doing? I'm trying
to do the same thing. And um, you know, I'm
not here to judge anyone because I'm literally in the
same position as you are, so you know, see, I'm
judging both of you. I've got a daughter in college
and she is not moving back into the basement. That's
(41:54):
what I That's what my takeaway from this is how
old is Damien Damiens when six year old is not
living in my basement? Yeah, well I moved out. I've
just seen into the future and I don't like what
I see. Really well, I moved out of my parents
house when I was eighteen, and I was, you know,
all by myself in Atlanta up until I was you
know still, and um, it wasn't for me. It wasn't planned.
(42:18):
I was going to live in my friend's basement for
like two months until we found a place together and
ended up just like working out. I was finally like
found a family that would I didn't feel so alone,
um and in that sense, I was just really grateful
for it, and I ended up saving a good bet. Alright, fine,
you've turned me around just like that. She can live
with me, so she can afford a house, rely on
(42:40):
some dude provided for yeah. Alright, So that is our
our Carlton episode. We'll get to Diamond a little bit later.
Still to come. We're gonna sit down with Damiens. Still
to come Chris Cole, and we mentioned so be sure
to subscribe because as the series continues, you're going to
get a whole lot more insight on Love Insight as
we cover everything love is Blind. Subscribe to Love Insight
(43:01):
on I Heart Radio or however you get your podcasts.
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