May 31, 2022 • 20 mins
Sure, finding love can be difficult for anyone, but what is it like dating with a disability? Today, we have a romance all about trust, patience, and… crotchet! Jessica Slice, a disability advocate and essayist, comes on to share her adorable romance with her chivalrous now-husband, David. Swoon!
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View episode transcript here: https://otter.ai/u/-yrnH7bBC0geEQivurjT-5efjbA
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Finding love can be difficult for anybody, But what is
it like dating with a disability? Today we have a
romance all about trust, patience and finding that magic spar
I'm Alicia Ryan and I'm Sarah Wendell. Welcome to Love
Struck Daily, where we bring you a true love story
which in every weekday. I'm in love with that, A've love,
(00:34):
I'm in love with you. Hello there, Alicia, Hi Sarah.
You know one of my favorite things about our friendship
is that from the very first point that we met,
I always felt like I was safe to tell you
pretty much any of the weird things that are wandering
around in my brain. Yeah, I would agree with that.
I think I do tell you most of the weird
(00:55):
things that are wandering round in my brain with no judgment, which, yes,
and the and the weirdness of my brain loves the
weirdness of your brain. So what are some of the
ways that our relationship, maybe your relationship with Kai or
we relationship with your friends makes you feel safe? Well,
you know, I think I think Kai is probably the
first relationship I've had where I felt totally safe. But
(01:17):
I remember the guy I was dating before guy. I
remember distinctly. There was one time where he was meeting
his peers and I was there to join him, and
then we were going to go, but I had the
car and so I parked and my car wouldn't start.
I like went to go started to meet him at
the place, which was like, you know, a block away,
(01:38):
and I called him and I said, my car once started,
think the battery's dead. And he was like, oh, no problem.
And I thought like, oh, he'll come over. And he
was like, let me I have m X, let me
just call them and I'll get you someone to come
and jump your car. And I was like, fine, that's fine.
And so I was so sad, but I didn't I
couldn't figure out why I was sad. I was just
(02:00):
really sad. I am sad for you. He was a
block away, Yeah, he was a block away. And I
was like, yeah, he maybe should have come, but it's okay,
Like he sent the tow truck. That's very nice of him,
you know. And fast forward to my relationship with Kai.
One of the first things, like I think about four
or five months, and I had to travel and this
(02:20):
was during the pandemic, so I was stressed out about
traveling can't imagine why. Yeah. Also I had to have
a minor My sister did a minor surgery on my foot.
Before I had the surgery, said is this gonna hurt, like,
you know, because I'm traveling tomorrow and she said, yeah,
it'll hurt tomorrow and I was like okay. And meanwhile
it hurt for like a month. So she's casual about
(02:40):
that sort of stuff because she's a very happy intolerance,
but she's better with her patients. Anyway, I could not
walk from my gate when I landed at for a
Bank airport. I could not walk from my gate to
the uber, and I like hot, you know, I was
like in so much pain. My foot was bleeding. He
came over. I got home at one am. He was
at my house at two am, and I was like
(03:02):
so tired, and he went to like move my foot
or something and I was like, gosh, my fun what happened?
And he undid the gauze and he was like, why
wouldn't you call me? It was the most life like
changing moment in that one spot where I thought, oh,
I could have called him and he would have come
(03:23):
I have a person to call, And that I think
was one of the turning points in our relationship. For me.
Then I thought, oh, this is not like any other
relations I have somebody now who is safe, independable, and reliable.
I mean reliability. I think is an underrated asset, very underrated,
very very underrated, very underrated. And when you've been independent
(03:46):
for a long time, it's very hard to accept help.
Oh it's really hard, really really really hard. But listen,
I have an amazing, amazing interview for you today. I'm
so excited. Yes. Jessica Slice is a disability advocate who
has been published in The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan,
(04:07):
Disability Visibility, in the New York Times Modern Love Blog,
which is where we found her story. Jessica has Ailer
Danlow's syndrome, a painful genetic connective tissue disorder, plus disautonomia,
which affects her ability to sit, stand, digest, and regulate temperature.
How did all of this affect her dating life? She's
here today to tell us all about her very crochet
(04:29):
friendly love story, and we cannot wait to hear every
single word. Please welcome, Jessica, Jessica, Welcome to the show.
We are so pleased to have you here. Thank you.
I am so happy to be here. So I have
many many questions. We have a lot of questions, but
from the start, would you tell us a little bit
(04:50):
about yourself. Yeah, I am a thirty nine year old
author and essayist and I live in Ontario with my
husband and my son Fabulous. I do love the term essayist.
It's a great job description. People don't use it right,
people don't use it. I agree that, So, Jessica, I
(05:12):
was wondering if you would tell us how did you
meet David? We met on Okay Cupid, Oh old school? Yeah,
I guess it is dates. And I had become disabled
about four years before, and so I was still navigating
(05:34):
dating while disabled. And I didn't explicitly mention my disability
in my profile, but I just answered the questions very honestly,
and so like one of them, you know, said what
can you not live without? And I said, sitting down, resting.
You know, I like made it clear I was not
an adventure person, you know, a physical sense. And it said,
(05:57):
like what do you do for work? And I said
mostly you reading a lot and croachhane, which was obviously
not a paying job. But it made it clear that
you know, I was trying to allude to my physical reality.
I didn't feel like it was anyone's business at that point.
I've sort of changed my tune on that now. So
I met David there and we our first date was
at a rose garden in Oakland. Yeah, and he was
(06:22):
waiting for me on a bench, and he had this
backpack full of books. I guess that he's like, had
come prepared to discuss because we both really liked books.
And he had studs, Turtle working, um Joan Didion slushing
towards Bethel him. I can't remember what else, and he
(06:44):
was just very sweet. I remember that he took his
scarf off and put it on me. He says there
is no way he would have presumed to put a
scarf on me. He thinks he would have handed it
to me very gently, So there's some distic agreement. But
I was wearing his scarf by the end. So there
were two things that really showed me who he was
(07:05):
on our first date. One I asked him if he
liked playing any strategy games, because I was at that
point very into this game called Hive, and I really
wanted him to play Hive with me. I had it
in my purse, and he said, I used to let
games when I was a kid, but not as much anymore.
So when I googled him after the date, I found
(07:29):
out that David, at seven years old, he was the
second best chess player in the entire country under the
age of thirteen. What, listeners, what you can't see right
now is that both Alicia and I made the same
open mouth holy crap, are you kidding? Face? Like utter
shock face. I used to like games. Okay, so I've
seen Queen's Gambit and I am very impressed. We are
(07:51):
very very I don't know much about chest beyond that,
but I think that's pretty cool. So he used to
be into games. In in David's language, he used to
be into games, was I was the second best chess
player in the country at the age of seven. Yeah,
that's what he's like. We we stand an understatement king. Yeah. Yeah. Also,
(08:11):
it can be confusing if he gets something like a cold,
because he'll say I feel a little sick, and I'm like, so,
what would a normal, like non understated person say about this.
I need you to overstate, sir, just state. But and
the other thing. On our first date, I was telling
him the story about something that had happened to me
(08:33):
a couple of weeks before, where someone really got in
my face and made me feel really unsafe. And I
at the beginning of the story, I said, well, it
was kind of my fault because I sat on an
inside seat, which meant the outside seat was available for
someone to sit on. And David said, before you tell
(08:53):
me anything else, I want you to know whatever happened
next was not your fault. Yeah. Please tell David the
King of understatement, that we are big fans of his. Yeah.
That's very sweet, big big fans. Yeah, tell me about
your modern love article, which absolutely ripped my heart out
(09:13):
in the most beautiful ways. Excellent job at being an essayist,
is what I'm saying. He thanks. You know, I wrote
that article or that essay sort of spur the moment,
and I really didn't think it would get much traction
because I thought the story about how I had trouble
falling in love with my husband would be maybe unrelatable
(09:38):
or boring to other people that you know, the story
is like, there's this guy who's really nice to me
and I didn't like or I tried to like him,
and couldn't. And most of my writing is about disability.
You know, I'm disabled, and a lot of my writing
is about parenting and also about disability and parenting. And
this was like a little bit of a departure. So
(09:59):
give us a quick recap of your essay for anyone
who will be listening who hasn't read it, which they
showed it will be in the show notes. I fear not.
But what was the what was the focus of this essay?
So the essay was about how when I met David,
he was really kind to me and we really and
we connected emotionally. I trusted him, I liked him, I
(10:22):
was attracted to him, but every time he did something kind,
I felt an almost like visceral repulsion to him. Wow,
And I kept trying to push through it, and I
was talking about it with my therapist, and finally a
few months in, I was like, you know, I just
(10:43):
need to admit this isn't right. I can't force it.
I can't force love. And so I broke up with him.
And for that first day I was like, Oh, I'm free.
I don't have to fight through these feelings anymore. And
then to about twenty four hours I was just like, oh, no,
what have I done. We'll be back after the short break.
(11:18):
And I didn't contact David because I knew it was
sort of up to me to think through this. And
so I was crocheting a lot at that time, and
I started making I think I was intending it to
be a blanket, maybe a scarf. Anyway, I started crocheing,
and I bought this weirdly expensive local yarn and just
(11:40):
was thinking a lot about what had brought me to
this point where I was thirty three with someone who
was incredible and just couldn't bear to be with them.
And after about a week I had crochetes so much
and bought so much yarn. I had spent hundred and
ninety dollars making a blanket. Anyone who crouches or knits
(12:08):
or does any kind of fabric arts is now listening
and just nodding, going yep. This is a very textile
love story, and I just want you to know that
I am here for it. In every regard. Crafters are
now their hearts. Any crafters listening, their hearts are just
melting in their chests. This is this is why grade
textile romance right here really, which at that stage in
(12:31):
my life, I was like, on a very tight budget,
I had no business. Spent the three hundred and ninety
dollars on a blanket, and I wrote to David and
asked if we could talk. And I had realized during
that week that it wasn't David I was repulsed by.
(12:52):
It was stability and that I had, because of early
experiences and past relationships, become so used to drama and
to uncertainty and to the does he like me? Will
he call me back? Can I earn his love? I
had I'm so used to that pattern that David's honesty
(13:13):
and earnest was repulsive and and I realized I wanted
to keep trying with him. So we got together, and
he had during that week bought a psychology book to
learn about why people have a hard time sometimes sticking
in healthy relationships. So he had, with no thought that
(13:37):
we would be getting back together, decided just to learn
about me. What a good dude? Yeah, really incredible, good
job calling him back? He sounds marvelous. He's yeah, he's
he's incredible. So we talked and I it wasn't like
I gushed and was like, Oh, I'm in love with you.
(13:58):
I was like, I kind of want to keep ye
and I'm sorry this is so hard for me, and
he said, okay, please don't break my heart again, and
and we kept trying, and I fell in love with
him really slowly, and it took a lot of therapy
to fall in love with him. But the way our
(14:20):
love has grown feels sustainable and feels honest and real
and like the kindest, most safe relationship I have been in,
and that I could imagine. It's uh, it's somewhat metaphorical
that you were crocheting a blanket because you ended up
creating this relationship that was very safe and blanket like, yeah,
(14:42):
it is. A few years after that, I got in
a car accident and it was minor ish, but he
David was working in San Francisco and I was in
Oakland and I called David and he didn't answer. He
was in a meeting and didn't see my calls. I
called him over and over and over again, and then
when he finally did answer, I said, I was in
(15:04):
an accident in Oakland. I need you, and he jumped up.
He sprinted to Bart. He calculated that Bart would be
faster than uber Lift and then you know, it felt
like minutes later I just see him sprinting down the
street in downtown Oakland. I have known since I met
him that if I ever say I need you, that
(15:27):
I don't have to say anything else, and that I
know he will be there every time. And it's I mean,
it's a it's a level of comfort and safety that
I never imagined. That's so beautiful, especially the part about
West Coast Railway transit. That's the most traumatic thing I've
ever heard. Yeah, I guess I assumed every listener knows
(15:48):
what Bart is. No, I mean, but most people probably do,
especially if you've read anything said on the West Coast.
But just the minute you get public transit involved in
an emergency, it's serious business. Right now, I don't want
to miss an opportunity to ask you about your books.
Please tell me about your books. I have three picture
(16:09):
books coming out with my co author Caroline. One is
This Is How We Play, which is a celebration of
um how people with disabilities play. So it we interviewed
a bunch of families where at least one member has
a disability and asked how they play together, and then
each page celebrates a family. Second book is This Is
(16:30):
How We Talk, which celebrates all the ways we communicate,
so includes adaptive equipment and sign language and people who
communicate with body movements, just some really beautiful ways that
people adapt. And then the third book is written with
(16:50):
the icon Juty Human of the Disability Rights Absolute Icon
Juty Human, and it's a biography of her, and that
is UM will be officially announced soon, but it's fine
to be on this podcast and we are so honored
to be writing that with Judy. Holy cow, Well you
(17:12):
were describing your children's books. I was like, Okay, b RB,
gonna cry now getting a little getting a little choked up.
And now I'm just like, holy cow, You're doing a
biography of Judy Human. This is the coolest review of
my life. Wow, amazing. Congratulations on that. She's been incredible.
(17:32):
Where can people find you if they would like to
learn more about your writing. My website is Jessica Slice
dot com perfect and you can um linked to my
Instagram there. I have a newsletter where I write about
my family, UM and disability and a lot about the
(17:55):
ducks that live in my backyard. I'm all about newsletters
with animals in them. I subscribe to a farmer's newsletter
just so she sends me pictures of goats and it's
called Okay, it's called Affirmation Chickens comes out every Friday.
It is fabulous. Every week a goat or a chicken
or a cow tells me you've done a great job
(18:15):
and you're working really hard and go you. It's like,
it's just the most wonderful thing. And the writer of
Affirmation Chickens is a journalist and a writer, so it's
it's it's chef's kiss. It's so good. But I understand
newsletters about ducks are totally my jam. Thank you so
very very much for joining us. It has been an
absolute pleasure talking to you, and I hope that this
(18:36):
hasn't been too taxic of an experience as we just
squee at you for you know, twenty minutes. Oh my gosh,
this is wonderful. Thank you for letting me talk about David.
Oh it was our pleasure to learn about David the
understatement King. We're big fans, Sarah. Jessica is so delightful.
(18:56):
What is your love to go for this episode? I
think today's love to go is if you can marry
your blanket, marry the person who makes you feel safe
and warm and wrapped up and cozy. And as someone
who makes quilts, there is no better metaphor for feeling
loved and protected. Agreed, and we would love to know
(19:16):
who makes you feel loved and protected. So please send
an email to love Struck Daily at frolic up Media
if you have a love story to share or any
questions or thoughts, and please follow us on Instagram and Twitter.
Especially Instagram, we post all sorts of content there to
accompany our episodes, and that is Love Struck Daily. Our
researcher is Jesse Epstein. Our editor is Jen Jacobs. We
(19:40):
are produced by Abigail Steckler and Little Scorpion Studios with
executive producer Frolic Media. This is an I Heart radio podcast.
We wish you a very happily ever after. I'm in
love with that A. I say to you, Nat, I'm
(20:02):
going to see you shin love. I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.
Finding love can be difficult for anybody, But what is
it like dating with a disability? Today we have a
romance all about trust, patience and finding that magic spar
I'm Alicia Ryan and I'm Sarah Wendell. Welcome to Love
Struck Daily, where we bring you a true love story
which in every weekday. I'm in love with that, A've love,
(00:34):
I'm in love with you. Hello there, Alicia, Hi Sarah.
You know one of my favorite things about our friendship
is that from the very first point that we met,
I always felt like I was safe to tell you
pretty much any of the weird things that are wandering
around in my brain. Yeah, I would agree with that.
I think I do tell you most of the weird
(00:55):
things that are wandering round in my brain with no judgment, which, yes,
and the and the weirdness of my brain loves the
weirdness of your brain. So what are some of the
ways that our relationship, maybe your relationship with Kai or
we relationship with your friends makes you feel safe? Well,
you know, I think I think Kai is probably the
first relationship I've had where I felt totally safe. But
(01:17):
I remember the guy I was dating before guy. I
remember distinctly. There was one time where he was meeting
his peers and I was there to join him, and
then we were going to go, but I had the
car and so I parked and my car wouldn't start.
I like went to go started to meet him at
the place, which was like, you know, a block away,
(01:38):
and I called him and I said, my car once started,
think the battery's dead. And he was like, oh, no problem.
And I thought like, oh, he'll come over. And he
was like, let me I have m X, let me
just call them and I'll get you someone to come
and jump your car. And I was like, fine, that's fine.
And so I was so sad, but I didn't I
couldn't figure out why I was sad. I was just
(02:00):
really sad. I am sad for you. He was a
block away, Yeah, he was a block away. And I
was like, yeah, he maybe should have come, but it's okay,
Like he sent the tow truck. That's very nice of him,
you know. And fast forward to my relationship with Kai.
One of the first things, like I think about four
or five months, and I had to travel and this
(02:20):
was during the pandemic, so I was stressed out about
traveling can't imagine why. Yeah. Also I had to have
a minor My sister did a minor surgery on my foot.
Before I had the surgery, said is this gonna hurt, like,
you know, because I'm traveling tomorrow and she said, yeah,
it'll hurt tomorrow and I was like okay. And meanwhile
it hurt for like a month. So she's casual about
(02:40):
that sort of stuff because she's a very happy intolerance,
but she's better with her patients. Anyway, I could not
walk from my gate when I landed at for a
Bank airport. I could not walk from my gate to
the uber, and I like hot, you know, I was
like in so much pain. My foot was bleeding. He
came over. I got home at one am. He was
at my house at two am, and I was like
(03:02):
so tired, and he went to like move my foot
or something and I was like, gosh, my fun what happened?
And he undid the gauze and he was like, why
wouldn't you call me? It was the most life like
changing moment in that one spot where I thought, oh,
I could have called him and he would have come
(03:23):
I have a person to call, And that I think
was one of the turning points in our relationship. For me.
Then I thought, oh, this is not like any other
relations I have somebody now who is safe, independable, and reliable.
I mean reliability. I think is an underrated asset, very underrated,
very very underrated, very underrated. And when you've been independent
(03:46):
for a long time, it's very hard to accept help.
Oh it's really hard, really really really hard. But listen,
I have an amazing, amazing interview for you today. I'm
so excited. Yes. Jessica Slice is a disability advocate who
has been published in The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Cosmopolitan,
(04:07):
Disability Visibility, in the New York Times Modern Love Blog,
which is where we found her story. Jessica has Ailer
Danlow's syndrome, a painful genetic connective tissue disorder, plus disautonomia,
which affects her ability to sit, stand, digest, and regulate temperature.
How did all of this affect her dating life? She's
here today to tell us all about her very crochet
(04:29):
friendly love story, and we cannot wait to hear every
single word. Please welcome, Jessica, Jessica, Welcome to the show.
We are so pleased to have you here. Thank you.
I am so happy to be here. So I have
many many questions. We have a lot of questions, but
from the start, would you tell us a little bit
(04:50):
about yourself. Yeah, I am a thirty nine year old
author and essayist and I live in Ontario with my
husband and my son Fabulous. I do love the term essayist.
It's a great job description. People don't use it right,
people don't use it. I agree that, So, Jessica, I
(05:12):
was wondering if you would tell us how did you
meet David? We met on Okay Cupid, Oh old school? Yeah,
I guess it is dates. And I had become disabled
about four years before, and so I was still navigating
(05:34):
dating while disabled. And I didn't explicitly mention my disability
in my profile, but I just answered the questions very honestly,
and so like one of them, you know, said what
can you not live without? And I said, sitting down, resting.
You know, I like made it clear I was not
an adventure person, you know, a physical sense. And it said,
(05:57):
like what do you do for work? And I said
mostly you reading a lot and croachhane, which was obviously
not a paying job. But it made it clear that
you know, I was trying to allude to my physical reality.
I didn't feel like it was anyone's business at that point.
I've sort of changed my tune on that now. So
I met David there and we our first date was
at a rose garden in Oakland. Yeah, and he was
(06:22):
waiting for me on a bench, and he had this
backpack full of books. I guess that he's like, had
come prepared to discuss because we both really liked books.
And he had studs, Turtle working, um Joan Didion slushing
towards Bethel him. I can't remember what else, and he
(06:44):
was just very sweet. I remember that he took his
scarf off and put it on me. He says there
is no way he would have presumed to put a
scarf on me. He thinks he would have handed it
to me very gently, So there's some distic agreement. But
I was wearing his scarf by the end. So there
were two things that really showed me who he was
(07:05):
on our first date. One I asked him if he
liked playing any strategy games, because I was at that
point very into this game called Hive, and I really
wanted him to play Hive with me. I had it
in my purse, and he said, I used to let
games when I was a kid, but not as much anymore.
So when I googled him after the date, I found
(07:29):
out that David, at seven years old, he was the
second best chess player in the entire country under the
age of thirteen. What, listeners, what you can't see right
now is that both Alicia and I made the same
open mouth holy crap, are you kidding? Face? Like utter
shock face. I used to like games. Okay, so I've
seen Queen's Gambit and I am very impressed. We are
(07:51):
very very I don't know much about chest beyond that,
but I think that's pretty cool. So he used to
be into games. In in David's language, he used to
be into games, was I was the second best chess
player in the country at the age of seven. Yeah,
that's what he's like. We we stand an understatement king. Yeah. Yeah. Also,
(08:11):
it can be confusing if he gets something like a cold,
because he'll say I feel a little sick, and I'm like, so,
what would a normal, like non understated person say about this.
I need you to overstate, sir, just state. But and
the other thing. On our first date, I was telling
him the story about something that had happened to me
(08:33):
a couple of weeks before, where someone really got in
my face and made me feel really unsafe. And I
at the beginning of the story, I said, well, it
was kind of my fault because I sat on an
inside seat, which meant the outside seat was available for
someone to sit on. And David said, before you tell
(08:53):
me anything else, I want you to know whatever happened
next was not your fault. Yeah. Please tell David the
King of understatement, that we are big fans of his. Yeah.
That's very sweet, big big fans. Yeah, tell me about
your modern love article, which absolutely ripped my heart out
(09:13):
in the most beautiful ways. Excellent job at being an essayist,
is what I'm saying. He thanks. You know, I wrote
that article or that essay sort of spur the moment,
and I really didn't think it would get much traction
because I thought the story about how I had trouble
falling in love with my husband would be maybe unrelatable
(09:38):
or boring to other people that you know, the story
is like, there's this guy who's really nice to me
and I didn't like or I tried to like him,
and couldn't. And most of my writing is about disability.
You know, I'm disabled, and a lot of my writing
is about parenting and also about disability and parenting. And
this was like a little bit of a departure. So
(09:59):
give us a quick recap of your essay for anyone
who will be listening who hasn't read it, which they
showed it will be in the show notes. I fear not.
But what was the what was the focus of this essay?
So the essay was about how when I met David,
he was really kind to me and we really and
we connected emotionally. I trusted him, I liked him, I
(10:22):
was attracted to him, but every time he did something kind,
I felt an almost like visceral repulsion to him. Wow,
And I kept trying to push through it, and I
was talking about it with my therapist, and finally a
few months in, I was like, you know, I just
(10:43):
need to admit this isn't right. I can't force it.
I can't force love. And so I broke up with him.
And for that first day I was like, Oh, I'm free.
I don't have to fight through these feelings anymore. And
then to about twenty four hours I was just like, oh, no,
what have I done. We'll be back after the short break.
(11:18):
And I didn't contact David because I knew it was
sort of up to me to think through this. And
so I was crocheting a lot at that time, and
I started making I think I was intending it to
be a blanket, maybe a scarf. Anyway, I started crocheing,
and I bought this weirdly expensive local yarn and just
(11:40):
was thinking a lot about what had brought me to
this point where I was thirty three with someone who
was incredible and just couldn't bear to be with them.
And after about a week I had crochetes so much
and bought so much yarn. I had spent hundred and
ninety dollars making a blanket. Anyone who crouches or knits
(12:08):
or does any kind of fabric arts is now listening
and just nodding, going yep. This is a very textile
love story, and I just want you to know that
I am here for it. In every regard. Crafters are
now their hearts. Any crafters listening, their hearts are just
melting in their chests. This is this is why grade
textile romance right here really, which at that stage in
(12:31):
my life, I was like, on a very tight budget,
I had no business. Spent the three hundred and ninety
dollars on a blanket, and I wrote to David and
asked if we could talk. And I had realized during
that week that it wasn't David I was repulsed by.
(12:52):
It was stability and that I had, because of early
experiences and past relationships, become so used to drama and
to uncertainty and to the does he like me? Will
he call me back? Can I earn his love? I
had I'm so used to that pattern that David's honesty
(13:13):
and earnest was repulsive and and I realized I wanted
to keep trying with him. So we got together, and
he had during that week bought a psychology book to
learn about why people have a hard time sometimes sticking
in healthy relationships. So he had, with no thought that
(13:37):
we would be getting back together, decided just to learn
about me. What a good dude? Yeah, really incredible, good
job calling him back? He sounds marvelous. He's yeah, he's
he's incredible. So we talked and I it wasn't like
I gushed and was like, Oh, I'm in love with you.
(13:58):
I was like, I kind of want to keep ye
and I'm sorry this is so hard for me, and
he said, okay, please don't break my heart again, and
and we kept trying, and I fell in love with
him really slowly, and it took a lot of therapy
to fall in love with him. But the way our
(14:20):
love has grown feels sustainable and feels honest and real
and like the kindest, most safe relationship I have been in,
and that I could imagine. It's uh, it's somewhat metaphorical
that you were crocheting a blanket because you ended up
creating this relationship that was very safe and blanket like, yeah,
(14:42):
it is. A few years after that, I got in
a car accident and it was minor ish, but he
David was working in San Francisco and I was in
Oakland and I called David and he didn't answer. He
was in a meeting and didn't see my calls. I
called him over and over and over again, and then
when he finally did answer, I said, I was in
(15:04):
an accident in Oakland. I need you, and he jumped up.
He sprinted to Bart. He calculated that Bart would be
faster than uber Lift and then you know, it felt
like minutes later I just see him sprinting down the
street in downtown Oakland. I have known since I met
him that if I ever say I need you, that
(15:27):
I don't have to say anything else, and that I
know he will be there every time. And it's I mean,
it's a it's a level of comfort and safety that
I never imagined. That's so beautiful, especially the part about
West Coast Railway transit. That's the most traumatic thing I've
ever heard. Yeah, I guess I assumed every listener knows
(15:48):
what Bart is. No, I mean, but most people probably do,
especially if you've read anything said on the West Coast.
But just the minute you get public transit involved in
an emergency, it's serious business. Right now, I don't want
to miss an opportunity to ask you about your books.
Please tell me about your books. I have three picture
(16:09):
books coming out with my co author Caroline. One is
This Is How We Play, which is a celebration of
um how people with disabilities play. So it we interviewed
a bunch of families where at least one member has
a disability and asked how they play together, and then
each page celebrates a family. Second book is This Is
(16:30):
How We Talk, which celebrates all the ways we communicate,
so includes adaptive equipment and sign language and people who
communicate with body movements, just some really beautiful ways that
people adapt. And then the third book is written with
(16:50):
the icon Juty Human of the Disability Rights Absolute Icon
Juty Human, and it's a biography of her, and that
is UM will be officially announced soon, but it's fine
to be on this podcast and we are so honored
to be writing that with Judy. Holy cow, Well you
(17:12):
were describing your children's books. I was like, Okay, b RB,
gonna cry now getting a little getting a little choked up.
And now I'm just like, holy cow, You're doing a
biography of Judy Human. This is the coolest review of
my life. Wow, amazing. Congratulations on that. She's been incredible.
(17:32):
Where can people find you if they would like to
learn more about your writing. My website is Jessica Slice
dot com perfect and you can um linked to my
Instagram there. I have a newsletter where I write about
my family, UM and disability and a lot about the
(17:55):
ducks that live in my backyard. I'm all about newsletters
with animals in them. I subscribe to a farmer's newsletter
just so she sends me pictures of goats and it's
called Okay, it's called Affirmation Chickens comes out every Friday.
It is fabulous. Every week a goat or a chicken
or a cow tells me you've done a great job
(18:15):
and you're working really hard and go you. It's like,
it's just the most wonderful thing. And the writer of
Affirmation Chickens is a journalist and a writer, so it's
it's it's chef's kiss. It's so good. But I understand
newsletters about ducks are totally my jam. Thank you so
very very much for joining us. It has been an
absolute pleasure talking to you, and I hope that this
(18:36):
hasn't been too taxic of an experience as we just
squee at you for you know, twenty minutes. Oh my gosh,
this is wonderful. Thank you for letting me talk about David.
Oh it was our pleasure to learn about David the
understatement King. We're big fans, Sarah. Jessica is so delightful.
(18:56):
What is your love to go for this episode? I
think today's love to go is if you can marry
your blanket, marry the person who makes you feel safe
and warm and wrapped up and cozy. And as someone
who makes quilts, there is no better metaphor for feeling
loved and protected. Agreed, and we would love to know
(19:16):
who makes you feel loved and protected. So please send
an email to love Struck Daily at frolic up Media
if you have a love story to share or any
questions or thoughts, and please follow us on Instagram and Twitter.
Especially Instagram, we post all sorts of content there to
accompany our episodes, and that is Love Struck Daily. Our
researcher is Jesse Epstein. Our editor is Jen Jacobs. We
(19:40):
are produced by Abigail Steckler and Little Scorpion Studios with
executive producer Frolic Media. This is an I Heart radio podcast.
We wish you a very happily ever after. I'm in
love with that A. I say to you, Nat, I'm
(20:02):
going to see you shin love. I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you.
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