Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Whatever happened to the one who got away? Haven't you
always wondered? Today, we're bringing on a guest with a
burning question in their hearts, and we'll see if the
stars will the answers for them. I'm Alicia Ry and
I'm Sarah Wendell. Welcome to Love Struck Daily, where we
bring you love and happiness in small doses every day.
(00:26):
I'm in love with that. I'm in love with you, Alicia.
I have a question for you. Sure. I know that
you grew up with astrology and having family members read
(00:49):
your whole star chart and all of that, and we've
talked about how I'm relatively new to this. Do you
find that your interest in things like astrology and psychic
mediums and divination and do you find that your interest
grows as you grow older in a way Yes, in
ways where I kind of just want to know that
everyone I love is going to be okay. Yes, But
(01:12):
you know, I grew up with family members who are very,
very interested in knowing all the details and all the
specifics and every little, any bitty thing. I don't like
knowing everything to that detail, because I think it's important
for us to have I think we have free will
(01:32):
either way. But I would like to just not know.
I would like to just go and do my own thing.
But within the confines of yeah, I still believe in
something else sort of guiding me. Does that make sense?
And absolutely it makes sense. And I think it's important
to you know, understand what is it you're trying to
address by asking these questions? Right? What does this knowledge
(01:53):
give you? And it's almost always a sense of control
and security it is. I remember when I, I mean,
I was single for a very long time and my
mom used to ask my uncle, like, she's never gonna
get married, She ever gonna get married? Is their curse?
You know what's going on? And my uncle said to her, Oh, no,
we have something in our house, in our family's house.
You know, we have some people who just don't get
(02:13):
married till their thirty nine. I was one of them,
you know. His sister was one of one of my
aunts was one of them, and she's one of them.
She's got that in her in her stars too. And
after that, I mean this was three years ago, my
mom chilled out completely. And when I told her, you know,
Kay and I were getting married back in February, and
she knew well before, because he very cutely called her
(02:34):
beforehand and you know, got her blessing. But she knew
about this, and I said, you know where, it would
be so cool if we could get married in the
next few months. And she said, oh, no, you're gonna
be thirty nine and I ain't going to be thirty
nine when I get married. So okay, So she's right,
he's right, But also like, I'm okay with that just
(02:56):
having been how it shakes out, and it's okay to
not know. It's okay did not know. Yeah, Well, today
we're going to try to find a little bit of knowing,
just a little. We have two very special guests joining
us today. We have Ava, who has always wondered what
happened to the perfect girl they met on bumble only
to move to Germany and lose all touch. And to
(03:18):
help out Eva, we're joined by Jennifer Joseph. Jennifer is
an interactive, intuitive, healer and medium. Her background is in
holistic health and she spent several decades studying spiritualism and
metaphysical science wondering what all of this means. Well, we
cannot wait to find out. Welcome Eva and Jennifer I
(03:40):
am so pleased to have you here, Jennifer, welcome, Thank you.
Tell us what do you do? What is your what
is your practice? Okay? So I am what I call
a feminine energy initiator. So what that is really talking
of out is there's this aspect of all human energy systems.
(04:04):
This has nothing to do with any ideas of gender
or or things of that nature. It's just the way
these energies move in our universe, right, And the feminine
is very much about being open to life's experiences, being
able to accept what life is showing us at this moment,
(04:25):
and taking the invitation to go deeper within ourselves and
discover something new that we didn't know was there before.
And this tends to transform people's lives the subtlest realizations
from this true state of being open. So An, tell
(04:45):
us your story about the one who got away, right, Okay,
So I'd say it was about November and I saw
this girl on Bumble and I don't know, I didn't
have any luck with Bumble in the past, but she
seemed really cool and she was so pretty, so I figured,
(05:07):
you know, why not, and she matched with me and
we wound up having the best conversation I've ever had
on there. So I asked her for coffee, found out
she lived right right by me, and a couple of
days later we went, got coffee, went thrift, ng, we
went a bunch of places and had the greatest time.
(05:28):
It was just the best first date I had ever had,
better than any conversations I've had with best friends in
recent history. So we kept seeing each other as often
as we possibly could, and then I was really thinking
I might ask her out, like formally, kind of not
to use old in terms, but ghost steady. Uh. And
(05:51):
then one day we were talking and she was like,
I really need to just get at this out of
the way because it's starting to meet me nervous. And
I was like, all right, yeah, no anything, and she said,
I am actually moving back to Germany in January, and
she had just been here visiting. No, that was two
(06:13):
months away. Yeah. Oh god, my heart just sank for you.
My heart just plummeted to my feet for you. Oh.
I tried so hard not to show it in the moment.
I just nodded and I was like yeah, And she said,
I don't want to start anything serious because I hate
to lose you as a friend, so can we just
be friends so that we can stay in each other's lives.
(06:35):
And I at this point I loved her personality and
just her as a person so much that I was
never going to say no to that, So I said,
of course, even though it kind of broke my heart
a little bit. Oh yeah, that sucks out loud. I mean,
no question, that's terrible. Yeah. And then that was just
like the beginning of our hangout that day. So I
(06:58):
spent the entire rest of the day trying not to
be upset. She was like, I do like you, and
if I was staying, I think we definitely would have
been together. And I feel like that hurt worse. So yeah.
Then um, January comes around, we said goodbye, and then actually,
just a couple of weeks ago, she came to visit
(07:19):
and she had gotten like she had had like a
fling with a guy while she was gone that she
had told me about. We were just talking about everything
and my love life recently, and it still just felt
like it should have been her. It was really rough
saying goodbye to her a second time, knowing that she
was going back to Germany for who knows how long,
(07:39):
Because I knew she was coming back, but now I
have no idea the next time she's coming back. And
I'm from New York, so it's it's quite a long
way off. So that's pretty much my story, and it
bothers me every day. Do you still talk to her?
Do you still message with her? Yep? Every day? So
(08:00):
you guys are really good friends now, yeah, yeah, And
I wouldn't trade that for having had something go wrong
and not talked to her anymore. My heart aches for you,
My heart aches for you going on this date and
just like trying to hold your heart together while you
have this date, and like there's a part of you going,
oh wow, that hurt. Can't show it right now. I
got to deal with that later. Oh my gosh. I
(08:21):
bottled that up until the weekend and then ate an
entire pint of ice cream and cried. You have excellent
coping mechanisms. I support, well, not what what flavor ice cream?
Just not curiosity, Oh it was coffee. Excellent choices, we approve,
but we support you in this heartache because you make
good ice cream choices too. I'm so sorry that happened.
(08:42):
Thank you, all right, So Jennifer, welcome to this this story.
I can tell from the video that your heart is
also aching. Like we're all just so, We're all just
big balls and mushy empathy. Now, welcome to the Mushy
Empathy Show. I'm your host. How you doing? Yeah? That
was a that was a touching story. I feel like
(09:02):
so many of us have experienced a flavor of that.
And yes, that reminder is just it's a heart opener
for sure. Yes, and everyone has been through that moment,
which is so difficult. Yea, in this situation, how can
you help? Ava? I want to put you two together
and and I appreciate both of you letting me be
(09:23):
here for this moment because I know this is very
intimate and this is, like I said, very squishy vulnerable feelings.
Let me put you two together and Jennifer, what can
you do in this moment for Ava? Well, first of all, Ava,
I just want to say hello, Hi. And I felt
your heart the entire time you were expressing that. I
could feel the tension and that back and forth between
(09:48):
this expanded state of your heart where we're seeing someone
and just truly loving their expression, and also that contraction
of feeling like we were so close. No cigars. So
I just want to tell you that I feel you
(10:08):
in that experience, and I want to just invite you.
Let's just take a few deep breaths together and see
if we can kind of anchor your awareness lower in
your body, because I could feel you very much up here,
and we just want to try and drop it down
a little bit lower. So take a deep breath in
(10:29):
through your nose, kind of slow, and then hold it
at the top for a moment. We don't want to
be uncomfortable. Then let it go and kind of just
feel see if you can sense these channels lower in
your body starting to open up, you might be able
to feel a little bit more energy, maybe a little
(10:52):
tingling as you continue to deeply breathe like this, Yeah,
I'm just feeling open up. That's beautiful, beautiful. So from
this space there's a little bit more open space. I
want to ask you, what is it that you saw
(11:15):
in this woman that you really really felt ignited by,
like it was a desire being met. I think it
was just the way she was able to quickly go
with anything that I was thinking, Whereas in my life
(11:36):
I found a lot of people kind of look at
me funny you when I just speak my mind. She
was very receptive mm hm and very warm. I haven't
found a lot of people like that. So I'm I'm
feeling like a deeper thread in there, and I want
(11:58):
to ask you, does it feel like you received a
sense of belonging that you hadn't experienced before? Yeah? Yeah,
I definitely think so because she had a mind like mine,
and it's the kind of thing that's very rare, I
(12:21):
feel for everyone just to find someone that can match
your energy on so many levels. I'm feeling like there's
this this deep, deep desire for resonance with another being
mm where we get into each other's energy field and
(12:41):
like there's just this open flow of communication. Yeah. I
feel like I spent a lot of my life, especially
since um to the majority of people, I'm closeted. I
feel like I spent a lot of my life trying
to make sure my thoughts aren't heard and to have
people you can trust that when you are speaking, you
(13:04):
are hurt and it's okay, that's very special. Okay. So
I'm feeling another threat emerge, and what that feels like
to me in this moment is this deep yearning for intimacy.
Can I ask you, did you feel any sort of
tightness as I said that, Yeah. So this is what
(13:27):
I have discovered in my work with people. So much
of the time we don't get clear on what our
desire is because there's this sensation that we have labeled
yearning that's like the cloak of the desire. Yearning I
(13:48):
have come to understand is a desire meeting the fear
of going unmet. That makes a lot of sense because
for everything I want, I feel like there's another large
you're part of me that is afraid of it. Yes,
this is the bedrock where we can make huge transformations
(14:09):
eva simply acknowledging that there's this you know, base layer
of us, maybe the animal body, maybe our past body,
our ancestral body that's holding so many fears. And if
I've learned anything from taking quantum leaps in my life
(14:30):
is that every time you're on the doorway, that the
threshold of that portal to take a leap, fear and
doubt are the bedmates. They come along for the rides,
and so often we can feel traumatized by their presence
and we feel that it's some sort of signal to stop,
(14:52):
to pump the brakes and to stall. What we're really
being invited to, as we see these doorway as, is
to step even more fully into claiming what we desire. Right, Eva,
do you want someone who is unavailable? We'll be right
(15:17):
back after the short break. I feel like that's been
a running theme in my life. I feel like this
has got to be a theme of like your Capricorn
(15:38):
moon and your aries rising. That Capricorn moon is so
easily like fixated on the goal and it's just going
to charge towards it no matter what. And that area's
energy very much is just about the pursuit. But when
(16:00):
we're pursuing from a place of not being fully clear
on our desire, what I find is we send somewhat
of mixed messages and that starts the chase. That other
energy field is like, oh, it's going not here, and
so they like they run away, and you're engaged by that,
(16:23):
so you chase. That definitely makes sense. I think I
read these things about the fact that you can have
some like internalized need to as a lesbian be attracted
to people you can't have, And I feel like, even
now when I am more comfortable with who I am,
(16:45):
I still experience that on some level. Yes, I feel
like for all of us, I don't care what stage
of our journey we're at the next thing, we're ready
to audaciously claim belongs to us, the fear and everywhere
in your body. That's like, nope, that's not true. It's
going to externalize. We're gonna see it in our outer
(17:07):
world because that like masculine brain, the logical thinking, protective brain.
It's just like, here's all the places you could get
hurt with having that thing. Almost like the masks that
you wear are also reflected back at you. You are
hiding part of yourself, but then you are also hiding
(17:28):
other people from yourself. Does that make sense? That doesn't
make sense for sure. But please hear from a total stranger,
you are very fabulous and deserving of happiness and acceptance
from all of the people in your life. Thank you,
Thank you very much. That means a lot to hear. Absolutely, Eva,
I know in my body that human beings are here
(17:52):
to express desires and to have them satisfied. Period. It's
the flow of lie, it is, it's the gift of experience.
I read recently we are all horny, electrified bags of meat.
It's very true. It takes the pressure off to like,
(18:13):
oh really, I'm just a herny, electrified bag of meat.
Then this is this is really not a high stake situations.
It's truly not. It's truly not. The higher the highest
stakes we play at is disowning what we truly desire. Yes,
that that's the highest risk you can actually take in
this life is not to risk. So I want to
(18:34):
say the like, amazing job putting yourself out there connecting
with this person, even though you have a past body
experience of these bumble exchanges not going so well. That
honestly was your willingness, That was your courage coming online.
So if I can encourage anything, it's like, take this
(18:57):
experience as evidence that you can go out there, open
your heart, risk it all, and survive. Are opening ourselves
up by going out and participating with life and allowing
ourselves to have an experience when loser draw Yeah, yeah, Eva,
(19:19):
what do you think you'll do next? Do you have
any ideas? Whoa to end on a happier note? There
is a girl that I know that I've been friends
with for a few months now that I'm kind of
sensing she is interested so we're going to see where
that goes more exploration. We love that. I definitely, I
(19:43):
definitely like her so to have something that goes from
a friendship where we're able to get comfortable with each
other to uh something more. I think I'm gonna explore
that soon. That's I'm so happy and this has given
me a lot more courage to do so, thank you.
Courage is the thing. It transforms everything, it really does. Ye, Jennifer.
(20:07):
Where can people find you if they wish to explore
themselves with your help? That's beautiful? Yeah, I'm on Instagram
and my Instagram name is natural Magics And also you
guys can all connect with me and and work with
me in my container, the Temple of Embodiment, and you
can read all about that offering on my website which
(20:30):
is natural Magics dot com. Brilliant and Eva. Do you
wish to be found on the internet anywhere by anyone? Yeah?
I am actually a writer Hi, Twitter and Instagram with
my pen name so you heard my real name here
first is Avery k Books. Got it. I'm writing it
down so I can put it in our show notes.
(20:51):
I'm really honored to have been present for this. This
has been really beautiful, and thank you Jennifer for being
so connective and honest and passionate. Your compassion is is
a tangible thing. Thank you both so much for being
here and bringing yourselves. I am I'm honored to have
been part of this. Yes, thank you so much. This
was so beautiful. Thank you for having me, Sarah. That
(21:15):
was such a great story. What is your love to
go for this episode? I love how open and generous
that Jennifer was, and I think the love to go
for this one is that your feelings matter, your feelings
are important, and you can always reach for happiness. It's
okay to take that risk. That's so nice and we
(21:37):
would love to hear from you. So please send an
email to love Stark Daily at Frolic Dup Media if
you have a love story to share or any questions
or thoughts, and please follow us on Instagram and Twitter
at love struck Daily. And a special hello and dedication
to Alan, who is our producer. Abby's dad. Alan has
listened to every single episode and that means so much
(21:59):
to us. Thank you so much, Allen for being our
biggest fan in this episode. Is a special hello to you,
our researcher is Jesse Epstein. Our editor is Jen Jacobs.
We are produced by Abigail Steckler and Little Scorpion Studios,
with executive producer Frolic Media. This is an I Heart
Radio podcast. We wish you a very happy ever after.
(22:23):
I'm in love with you. It's kind of the same.
I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you.