August 15, 2022 • 31 mins
Matchmaker, matchmaker, find Ashley a match! Talia Goldstein and Becca Klein from Three Day Rule Matchmaking are back with a new guy for Ashley to meet – eligible bachelor #2, David. Will this go better than her first date? Will she find love this time? We get to be a fly on the wall as Ashley continues her journey to find love– on air!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Can you Find love on a podcast? If you tuned
into last episode, you heard Ashley going out on a
first date, and today we're back for a second attempt
to find that special someone. I'm Talia and I'm Becca
and welcome to Love Stress Daily in Love with the
(00:26):
same I'm with you For anyone who wasn't there for
our first episode. We are Tali and Becca from Three
Day Rule. We are a personalized matchmaking company. We worked
one on one with clients and we get to know
them really well and we set them up with high
(00:46):
quality matches. Hey Ashley, it's so good to see you again.
Hey Ashley, good to see you. Good to see you again.
How is the rest of your trip? Oh my gosh,
it was so fun, such a whirlwind, but we made it.
We're back home in y Okay. Good. Well. I'm excited
(01:07):
for the date today. But before I get into why
we picked David for you, I wanted to see if
you had any lingering thoughts about the date with Jeff
since you've had a few days to digest it. Yeah. No,
I still think that it was really fun. Um. I
was thinking about it the other day and I was like,
that was just so much fun. So yeah, those have
(01:29):
been kind of just the lingering thoughts. I'm excited to
meet Dave today and we'll see what happens there. But yeah,
so far only good things. Okay, good, I'd love to
hear it. I am so looking forward to this next
date that you have. He is for sure easy to
talk to, easy to get along with, which I think
(01:51):
is always kind of the baseline of what we're looking
for for you, since you are such an outgoing, bubbly
fun personality, so it'll be interesting to see. Lifestyle is
how you guys match up in just you know, your
day to day lives, but also what you enjoy outside
of that. So Ashley David is not in l A.
He's actually in Pittsburgh, and we've been doing long distance
(02:14):
matching a lot, especially in a post lockdown world, so
many people can work remotely, so it has been pretty
easy to have long distance relationships. So we don't want
to limit you to just a ten mile radius. You
want to connect you with who we think could be
the best match. So just a heads up that he's
(02:34):
not local, but you could still make it work. That
sounds good. We chose him for you because he's a
little more introverted then Jeff. Jeff was extroverted and really talkative,
and David has a bit of a different personality. But
sometimes we see that one star works really well with
(02:55):
a rock and we think you're a star, so it
could be a great balance. We'll how you feel. Part
of testing is just to see how you feel in
different situations with different types of people. It's always good
when you have a connection with someone to continue to
date and compare and contrast and see it seems like
a fit and who doesn't what you like, what you
don't like. That's how we really get to know what
(03:17):
we're looking for when we're dating. So I really like
David for you. He has a lot of similar qualities
and that he is outgoing, he's personable, he's easy to
talk to. Just to give you some information about him
before we jump in. He's thirty three. He worked in
I T and now he's in project management, so he
has a good, steady career. He's financially stable. He's athletic
(03:41):
and likes playing sports, so like you, he leads a healthy,
active lifestyle. And also similar to you, he was a
bit of a late bloomer when it came to dating.
So he had his first relationship in college and it's
been some time since then, but now he's really ready
to focus on something serious and has learned a lot
about himself. So just you know, as a reminder, I
(04:04):
thought you did an amazing job on the date with Jeff,
So still the same, be present, you were really engaging,
you weren't future thinking as we talked about. The only
thing I thought was missing a little from the date
with Jeff was just a tiny bit of light flirting
and just showing interest. So I think you can use
(04:25):
this state to practice that. It's helpful just to land
a second date, and then you can decide later if
you actually want that second date. So any questions before
we get into the date with David, No, no questions.
UM should be fun to try the light flirting. I
always don't think I'm good at that, so let's see
what happens. But yes, I will try to have some
(04:49):
kind of follow up UM by the time this one
wraps up. So excited to practice that perfect and be
you your authentic self. So so excited. That's it. We'll
de brief after the date. Cool, Okay, we're gonna set
the stage for this date once again, we've ordered your food.
I know this is a virtual date, but let's pretend
you are together in a cute restaurant enjoying a lovely
(05:10):
brunch together. Welcome to the show, David. Hey, so you
hear me, I can hear you. Nice to meet you. Actually,
my name is David. How are you today. I'm doing great? David.
Uh my name is actually obviously, Yeah, I'm doing great.
It's sunny outside, and yeah, I'm here chatting with you
(05:33):
about the eats of food. I don't know about yourself,
but I'm from Pittsburgh. Um, you know, Pennsylvania. Nice. Yeah.
I am in Los Angeles, California, in the US right now,
which is funny because a couple of days ago, I
was actually out of the country on vacation. So I
live in l A. Though. Um I was in the
Cayman Islands, so I was there just for a couple
(05:55):
of days. Yeah, just for a couple of days. Um.
But yeah, now I'm back in l A. I just
got actually it was last weekend from not as nice,
um as a place as the Cayman Islands. You might
have heard of Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oh yeah, yeah, I think
I've heard of it Actually you say that, but every
time that would. The week leading up to it, I
(06:17):
was talking to all my friends about it and like,
I really bought the tickets and I knew where I
was going. But every time I told my friends, they
were like they the first thing they asked was like, wait,
Oklahoma Tulsa, And they kept making me think, like, wait
is the another one? Did I buy the raw ticket? Yeah?
What's your connection out there? Where? You just like, oh,
(06:38):
I'm going to go to Oklahoma? So to two birds
months that kind of thing. I went there because I
have a friend who was working in Pittsburgh moved out there,
so I decided to meet him. Second bird was, Um,
I don't know if you know this band. I think
they're from Canada. They're called Purity Ring. I have heard
(07:00):
of them. Actually, what happened was the Tuesdays. I actually
was looking at like, oh, wait, they're still one tour.
Maybe I could see him another place. Lo and behold
they were playing in Tulsa. Then I was reminded, wait,
I think my friend listened Tulsa, so technically he kind
of came second. But it was okay, but no, um,
(07:20):
that was a great show. Good to see him again. Unfortunately,
there was a heat do in effect for that week,
so it was one hundred up to one of four
the entire time I was there at ten o'clock at night,
it was still eighty plus degrees. That's just adding to
my list of things that makes Oklahoma great. So to
(07:43):
their credit, one off thing, So you know, I still
would recommend. Yes, it's still a good weekend city. Tell
me about the kingdam so imagine that was probably pretty chill,
pretty relaxing. Yeah, it was really fun funny enough. I
the way that it worked out, I was, I'm from
(08:04):
North Carolina, um so from the East coast. Originally I
was going back to North Carolina also for a concert
um and did that concert. We booked it like over
a year ago, like when the tickets first came out,
and literally a week before my trip, the show that
we were going to a North Carolina got postponed um
(08:24):
and so I was like whatever, Like I'm still gonna
go back like see my friends. And I was like,
let me just see how much would be to go
from like North Carolina down with the Cayman Islands and
then back to l A. Because flights were flights were
insane it was gonna cost me like twelve dollars round
trip from l A to North Carolina. And I was like,
(08:45):
that just seems ridiculous. So, and I used to live
in the Cayman Islands, so that that's kind of like
my connection there. I wasn't just like oh, random Cayman Islands. Um.
So yeah, So it ended up costing me like half
the price to go from l A to North Carolina
to the Cayman Islands and then back to l A.
And so I was like, we can we can make
that happen. Oh wow, I'm just feeling jealous. Hold tight,
(09:13):
we're going to be back in just a moment after
this short break. That concert that wasn't in the Cayman Islands,
that was in North Carolina. Yeah, the concert was in
North Carolina. Um, I don't know. When I lived in
(09:35):
the Capan Islands, it was during like the height of COVID,
so like all like end and like most so their
borders were pretty strict. Um so I feel like they're
just now starting to get back like concerts and stuff
like that. But yeah, that concert was in North Carolina.
So then I also was like, oh, like I'll just
(09:55):
like move my dates to when he comes to l A.
But then the whole tour ended up getting canceled and
so now no conflict. What was what was the musician
Sean Mindes One second, I took on a notification of
my phone that is overheating. I think because of the
dual was saying I'm going to take it out of
the case, and I mean, it is kind of hot.
(10:18):
But I hate that. I hate that notification. I was
always like, oh, how how long have you lived in Pittsburgh?
So I immigrated, um when I was five or six,
from Vietnam. My dad followed my uncle who was going
to school here. But yeah, I um, I grew up there.
(10:42):
Um after college, the city was seeing growth, so I
end up like a staying around, going to work, and
I just built a small community here. And yeah, that's
I've stuck around. The only other place that I was
considering moving after This would be a little cliche from
what I see is but Portland's actually yeah, I've heard
(11:06):
that Portland is super pretty. I haven't been anywhere like
above California, like so like Oregon, like Washington, anywhere like
Pacific Northwest. I haven't been anywhere there, but I have
friends that live up that way, and I've heard it's
really pretty. I heard that it is rainy. I don't
know if it rains a lot. When I visited Seattle.
(11:29):
One of the things that came up they called it
one of the uber drivers who immigrated are not immigrated,
but like um transfer there, like you know, um a
few years ago mentioned something called like the Northwest Freeze.
Have you heard of that? I haven't, which is yeah,
So it was referring to the culture, how like, yeah,
(11:51):
everyone has smiling faces on, but it's almost like a
facade and they're not actually as nice a me pure
And I don't know, And I was just cious, like
I've heard something similar, um about just a different culture
like the West Coast. I was just kiss like, what's
it like yours parents been? Yeah, I would say I
(12:16):
the biggest city I guess that I had lived in
or been a part of before moving to l A
was like Charlotte, North Carolina. And I feel like l
A is like it feels to me like Charlotte, Like
everyone is pretty nice. Like I feel like yesterday honestly
was the first time I was ever around people who
maybe were some of that like oh, like we're being nice,
(12:37):
but like we're not actually nice. And I was at
like an event for like influencers and like content creators.
Other than that, I feel like everyone's genuinely been pretty nice.
And I don't know if I just meet people that
aren't from the West Coast who have moved out here,
or if it's people who just have grown up out
here but like have been lots of places and stuff.
(12:58):
But yeah, it really wasn't until guest today where I
was like, oh, like, these are the people that people
think l A is made up of. Um, so that
was interesting. Hold on, that was the door. I think
it might be my food. So let's see what did
(13:20):
you order? Um? I got, I hop and I got
just like pancakes and eggs and sausage because that was
the first thing that I saw. Um. But yeah, I'm
very excited. Nice. Anywait, you said I So you said
you're in l A, right, correct. Maybe this is more
(13:41):
of a too much of a generalization thing, like it
has to be we're describing with like those kids in Toronto,
but like I would imagine you probably have a wide
selection of food and of everything else here. I hop
was the you know, go to I would say in
l A. And I've only been here for like six months,
so don't shoot me if this is like a terrible
(14:02):
generalization l A people. Um, but I feel like there
is food in l A, but it's like a lot
of just like generic food. Like it's like whenever I
have friends come to town, it's like, oh, like where
should we go eat? And it's like, Okay, there's like
these places we can go and it's like fine food,
(14:23):
but it's not like, oh my gosh, like this is
the place that you have to go to, Like yeah,
there's like a few places like that, but I feel
like it's like overall it's like, oh, like yeah, this
food is pretty good, but it's not like, oh my gosh,
this is like the best food I've ever had in
my entire life. So there's like definitely a few places
where I'm like, oh, people, I definitely have to take
(14:43):
them here. This is unique, this is amazing. But then
other times I'm like, all right, like this channel do
And there was an eyehop like right by where I live,
so I was like, oh, this should be like an
easy delivery. Okay, all right, Well, I mean you know you,
but I'm just very surprisedful. Yeah, I'm surrounded by chains
where I live, so it's literally like so many chains,
(15:07):
and there's like a couple of little local places sprinkled in.
But yeah, uh, David, maybe your phone overheated. My phone
shutdown because it overheated. What I'm doing right now this
(15:27):
might be a first. I am using my my freezer
and I'm putting my phone, so that's why I'm taking
the call from now. This is my kitchen, so yeah,
I'm taking this call from my freezer. Um, hopefully this
this is amazing. I wish everyone could see this visual
(15:49):
right now. I'm just glad I got back in to
actually kind of like bring that back. You haven't, just
like I I have only really in the past five
years got into like, hey, you know, like I think
I do like to travel, like go in different places. Um.
(16:10):
So when I started getting into that more, I started
noticing that, like there seems to be a such section
of people who love traveling, but they're like seemingly doing
it just for like I don't know, just like for
the Instagram and like stuff like that, and they're going
to like pretty jet set destinations like your Santorini's. You're
(16:30):
like your parents and stuff like that, and look, and
that's fine. I definitely want to go to those places too,
But like I was thought, like there's plenty of stuff
in my own backyard that I have yet to like
actually explore, and within the US itself, I'm pretty sure
no one's like posting crazy stuff about Tulsa. But like
when I was saying, I was like, wow, this is
(16:50):
actually pretty good, and like I don't think I would
have thought about that otherwise. Yeah, It's like every place
has stuff that makes it uniquely beautiful, and like I
realized that when I was driving across the country to California,
Like I drove through like a lot of pretty random states,
like rural parts of Texas, and it all was really pretty.
(17:12):
Like it was also different, but for me, like living
on the East Coast and like the beach region for
so long, like everything was like what so Like when
I'm like driving through like and starting to see mountain
ranges and like the flat planes of like Texas, like
most people probably would have like clawed their eyes out
for two days of driving that, but I was like, whow,
like oil rigs, like this is so nice, Like it's
(17:35):
so different, and like look at these cows and like exactly,
like yeah, oh oh speaking of cows, by the way,
little just as that. So we're in America, you know,
big cows and stuff like right. I remember going to Japan.
The size different sizes and like starting sizes. It's like
(17:56):
night and day. Yeah, I felt so I Sha was like,
oh man, this is your large and this is our small.
Literally literally it was like that. In Africa, there was
this one like sandwich shop that we went to, like
I would say we went like once a week because
it was like walking distance from where we were staying.
(18:17):
And yeah. It was like we'd order like a sandwich
and it would come with like some kind of like
side like pries or like something like that, and it
was a normal portions eyes and we were all like, oh,
this is so small, and it was like nope, this
is just how much we should be eating. Um. So yeah,
that was a fun eye opening experience. And then when
(18:37):
I came back to America after that, I was like
everything is huge. I we like this that I would
through like my phase of hating America or whatever. Then
you a full circle, I mean you get exactly yeah,
I think we friends. Oh there we got I'm back.
(19:06):
Wait did your phone over heat too? Yeah, I guess
we were too hot to handle. So, UM, tell me
about like Africa. Yeah, I was only there for like
three months. Um. I had some friends that were doing
like a football program at one of the universities in Nairobi,
and so we went over to help them like run
(19:28):
the program and stuff like that. So it was super fun.
Um Yeah, lots of fun, like food and different like
takes of food. Like I really loved. They have these
stands where they made like hot dogs and sounds super
like boring, but they something about the way that they
like put like salsa on it or something like. It
(19:48):
was just so good, the best thing I've ever had. Um.
And I literally got one every single day because they
have a little carts on campus, and I was like,
these hot dogs are the best. And there was one
time I was literally it was like a movie, was
literally bringing the hot dog like to my mouth to
eat it, and something like hit me in the head,
and I thought that it was the guy who like
(20:09):
made the hot dog because I had said something about like, oh,
like last time I got one that came with like
a different kind of bun, and like I must have
just ordered the wrong one because it was like the
weird gun, and I was like, okay, I need to remember,
like which one I ordered, like so that I ordered
the one that I liked better. And I thought he
had heard me say that and like had thrown the
bun that I wanted like at my head, and so
(20:30):
I like turn wrong, I'll look back and like like
I turned around. I looked back and like it wasn't that,
And so then I was like, oh, weird, And I
went back to keep eating my hot dog, but it
was gone, and I realized what it happened was like
literally a bird had like flown down, grabbed the hot
dog out of my hand as I was about to
eat it, and like hit me in the head with
its wing and I look over and it's like flying
(20:51):
away with my hot dog. And I always remember that
because I was just in the streets of Kenya dying laughing,
and everyone's staring at me. They're like, what's with this girl?
Why is she like dying laughing in the middle of
the street, And like me and my friend that I
was with, we were just like unable to walk, like
we were like this is the funniest thing ever. And yeah,
so there's my hot dog story before you. Okay, this
(21:16):
is Becca here. Unfortunately we are at times, so it's
time to say our goodbyes. It was really good meeting you.
Thank you for the awesome conversation. So nice chatting with you.
This was super fun. Okay, Ashley, take off your headphones
for a second. We want to just talk to David privately.
Thank you. David. I thought that that was great. I
(21:37):
thought that you had really interesting stories and you really
kept conversation flowing well. You guys touched a lot of interesting,
fun topics and kept it very lighthearted for a first date.
You're amazing putting your phone in the freezer. It's so
fun to watch, and I love how spontaneous you are.
How did you feel it went. It took about maybe
(22:00):
ten fifteen minutes for us to start vibing. All my
reactions towards us raw because I had no idea like
what was happening. You guys did a great job of
ping ponging back and forth, sharing different stories with each other.
Do you feel curious to get to know more about Ashley? Yeah, potentially,
but like I you know, I'm the way it was done.
(22:25):
It was very unique to me. Normally I text the
person back and forth. First, Let's say Ashley is interested
in getting to know more about you. How do you
feel about that? I'm just curious knowing the distance situation
is you know, potentially problematic. But like, but that's said,
(22:48):
I don't um. Recently, I've been taking a different route
to dating, and like I've been actually being friends with
the people who don't even like work out, so like
you know, in that sense, yeah, definitely, long distance has
worked well recently because so many people can work remotely,
and Ashley is in a position where she potentially could.
(23:10):
So maybe the two of you will take a trip
to Oregon and spend some time together or go to
a concert, and you can see how things develop. But
I'll connect with Ashley and see how she felt about
you as well, any concerns aside from the distance. I
we had the fund general banter of a date. But
(23:33):
normally at this point I would know something about that
person and about their once their dating goals like that.
So I don't know those things about her, and she
doesn't those things about me. We didn't really get deep
into anyone particular topic, if you noticed, in one way,
to really be able to do that and get a
bit deeper than surface level is to just ask a
(23:56):
follow up question. So don't be afraid next time to
ask a little bit more about a specific trip. She
went on her a story. She told if that you
really enjoyed, this definitely is a unique situation. It was
really fun to watch you guys on a date. So
I appreciate it and thank you for the opportunity, even
if like nothing happens. I really enjoyed the overall experience.
(24:17):
I love it. Thank you very much. Thanks David. Let's
invite Ashley back on. All right, Ashley, I'm so excited
to hear what you thought about that day. It was
really fun to watch, especially as both of you were
in the freezer. So first, before I go into how
I thought you did on the date, tell me while
(24:39):
it's fresh, how did you feel it went? Don't go anywhere,
we'll be back after this short break. How did you
feel it went? It felt a little less natural, I
(25:03):
guess than my date with Jeff from the other day,
So I guess that was like the main feedback. I
guess that's the right word from that one, like it
was still fun. I think like by the end, we
like kind of found a group and we're getting into things.
But starting off that one felt like it took a
little more to get started and get into it. Could
(25:24):
you tell in your body a difference, like where did
you feel sort of stiff or just not as relaxed,
like physically, how did you feel? Yeah? I think I
felt just not as relaxed. Um. I could sense myself
feeling or acting like how I do when I'm like
talking with the client or something like that, like more
(25:44):
like business e. And so I was like, okay, like
don't be business e. Um, but I was I just
like noted it. Um. But yeah, again, like I think
by the end we were able to laugh and like
connect on something, so that was really cool. Um. But yeah,
I think that it just didn't feel as natural or
as like fluid of a connection as um when me
(26:06):
and Jeff talked the other day, that felt a little
more like I was at ease in my body like
and stuff like that. Okay, interesting, And what were some
of the things that you appreciated about David and then
also anything that you were concerned about. Yeah, I think
I appreciated how he kept the conversation going, Like I
didn't feel like I was having to pull teeth and
(26:28):
ask a ton of questions and stuff like that. He
shared a lot about himself, which I think is really
good and helped me kind of get to know him
a little bit more as well. There wasn't anything that
was like a major red flag or anything like that.
Um yeah, I don't know. I just I feel like
there just wasn't as much of a connection as there
(26:51):
was on the first one for whatever reason. Um, but
not for any like negative reasons or anything like that.
I know that you might not have felt a strong
a connection with David as you did with Jeff, but
I kind of feel the same. The same feedback applies
to this round. If there was any moments where you
wanted to insert some clurtiness to see if we can
increase connection, whether it's you know, playful banter about some
(27:14):
story that he told, or you know, making a joke
here and there, having some kind of banter in that way,
I think that can always kind of see if the
chemistry could grow in the space that feels a little
bit more friendly. I would also encourage you to, you know,
and I told David this go a bit deeper on
topics it can really just increase vulnerability can increase connection.
(27:35):
And while it is so important to stay lighthearted and
fun and easy going on a first date, which you
have nailed down to a t, you're so good at
that lighthearted, fun, easy conversation. When we're really looking for
our person, we also want to get to know them more.
So it doesn't have to be anything serious, doesn't have
to be any intense questioning or anything that feels like
a job interview. But you feel like there's space, or
(27:58):
you feel like there's an opportunity, I encourage you to
just try and dive in a little bit deeper. You
were able to get across a few places that you lived,
which is really nice because this is a terrible analogy,
but it's helped. It's like a strip tease where every
you know date, you take something off and they learn
a little bit more about you and you're able to
get vulnerable. So it's great that you were able to
(28:20):
sprinkle that in. And it maybe just because you didn't
feel as connected with him, like I didn't get a
sense of the light flirting we talked about. But that
might just be because you didn't feel quite as comfortable
as you did with Jeff. Yeah, I think that just
knowing myself in general, light flirting is interesting whatever happens. Um. So,
(28:45):
I think I definitely really have to feel comfortable with
someone in order for that to just kind of naturally
happen and not overthink it and be like, oh, like,
was that flirting? Should I have flirted more? Like? So? Yeah,
I think that that definitely may have been a part
of ATS for sure. There were a few spots where
I thought you could have chimed in with something, But
it's okay. You should only do it if it feels
(29:06):
authentic to you. Yeah, you know, every time we learn
more about you and how you feel with the matches,
then we can change it up and tweak it a
little bit. It's really up to you. But all these
dates are helpful, even if they don't end up in
a second day. Yeah. No, I completely agree. So for
the next match, anything that you want us to keep
in mind, anything that you'd want us to change up.
(29:29):
I don't know. Maybe I do do better with someone
who is also an extrovert. Maybe that's part of it.
I don't I don't know what part of it is,
like career pathways, Like, maybe I do better with someone
who's like like in front of people, and maybe that
could be something fun to switch up. I think we
(29:50):
have our plan and where did we land on Jeff?
Should we do a second day or just move on
to another match? Um? I think that we should do
a second date with Jeff and also have a new match. Okay,
I love that plan, and I have the feedback from
this date which is really helpful. So we'll go back
(30:11):
to the drawing board. We're going to interview some more
matches and then I'll be back into touch with you
to present another match soon. Awesome, that sounds great. Okay, perfect, Well,
thank you, Ashley. I'll be back in touch and have
a great rest of your day. Yeah, thank you you too.
Thank you everyone for listening. Please look out for our
(30:32):
next episode, which will hopefully be ashley second date with
Jeff if he's down, so we'll see if the two
can rekindle and connect and get a bit deeper. Want
to follow along with the show or know anyone good
for Ashley? Follow us on Love Struck Daily on Instagram
and Twitter, or email Love Struck Daily at frolic dot
Media for match baking. Join our free database at three
(30:56):
day Roule dot com or follow us in social media
at three Day Rule. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein and
our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are produced by Abigail
Steckler with Little Scorpion Studios. We are executive produced by
Frolic Media. This is an I Heart Radio podcast. I'm
(31:21):
in love with Good, I'm in love with you, I'm
in love with you,
Can you Find love on a podcast? If you tuned
into last episode, you heard Ashley going out on a
first date, and today we're back for a second attempt
to find that special someone. I'm Talia and I'm Becca
and welcome to Love Stress Daily in Love with the
(00:26):
same I'm with you For anyone who wasn't there for
our first episode. We are Tali and Becca from Three
Day Rule. We are a personalized matchmaking company. We worked
one on one with clients and we get to know
them really well and we set them up with high
(00:46):
quality matches. Hey Ashley, it's so good to see you again.
Hey Ashley, good to see you. Good to see you again.
How is the rest of your trip? Oh my gosh,
it was so fun, such a whirlwind, but we made it.
We're back home in y Okay. Good. Well. I'm excited
(01:07):
for the date today. But before I get into why
we picked David for you, I wanted to see if
you had any lingering thoughts about the date with Jeff
since you've had a few days to digest it. Yeah. No,
I still think that it was really fun. Um. I
was thinking about it the other day and I was like,
that was just so much fun. So yeah, those have
(01:29):
been kind of just the lingering thoughts. I'm excited to
meet Dave today and we'll see what happens there. But yeah,
so far only good things. Okay, good, I'd love to
hear it. I am so looking forward to this next
date that you have. He is for sure easy to
talk to, easy to get along with, which I think
(01:51):
is always kind of the baseline of what we're looking
for for you, since you are such an outgoing, bubbly
fun personality, so it'll be interesting to see. Lifestyle is
how you guys match up in just you know, your
day to day lives, but also what you enjoy outside
of that. So Ashley David is not in l A.
He's actually in Pittsburgh, and we've been doing long distance
(02:14):
matching a lot, especially in a post lockdown world, so
many people can work remotely, so it has been pretty
easy to have long distance relationships. So we don't want
to limit you to just a ten mile radius. You
want to connect you with who we think could be
the best match. So just a heads up that he's
(02:34):
not local, but you could still make it work. That
sounds good. We chose him for you because he's a
little more introverted then Jeff. Jeff was extroverted and really talkative,
and David has a bit of a different personality. But
sometimes we see that one star works really well with
(02:55):
a rock and we think you're a star, so it
could be a great balance. We'll how you feel. Part
of testing is just to see how you feel in
different situations with different types of people. It's always good
when you have a connection with someone to continue to
date and compare and contrast and see it seems like
a fit and who doesn't what you like, what you
don't like. That's how we really get to know what
(03:17):
we're looking for when we're dating. So I really like
David for you. He has a lot of similar qualities
and that he is outgoing, he's personable, he's easy to
talk to. Just to give you some information about him
before we jump in. He's thirty three. He worked in
I T and now he's in project management, so he
has a good, steady career. He's financially stable. He's athletic
(03:41):
and likes playing sports, so like you, he leads a healthy,
active lifestyle. And also similar to you, he was a
bit of a late bloomer when it came to dating.
So he had his first relationship in college and it's
been some time since then, but now he's really ready
to focus on something serious and has learned a lot
about himself. So just you know, as a reminder, I
(04:04):
thought you did an amazing job on the date with Jeff,
So still the same, be present, you were really engaging,
you weren't future thinking as we talked about. The only
thing I thought was missing a little from the date
with Jeff was just a tiny bit of light flirting
and just showing interest. So I think you can use
(04:25):
this state to practice that. It's helpful just to land
a second date, and then you can decide later if
you actually want that second date. So any questions before
we get into the date with David, No, no questions.
UM should be fun to try the light flirting. I
always don't think I'm good at that, so let's see
what happens. But yes, I will try to have some
(04:49):
kind of follow up UM by the time this one
wraps up. So excited to practice that perfect and be
you your authentic self. So so excited. That's it. We'll
de brief after the date. Cool, Okay, we're gonna set
the stage for this date once again, we've ordered your food.
I know this is a virtual date, but let's pretend
you are together in a cute restaurant enjoying a lovely
(05:10):
brunch together. Welcome to the show, David. Hey, so you
hear me, I can hear you. Nice to meet you. Actually,
my name is David. How are you today. I'm doing great? David.
Uh my name is actually obviously, Yeah, I'm doing great.
It's sunny outside, and yeah, I'm here chatting with you
(05:33):
about the eats of food. I don't know about yourself,
but I'm from Pittsburgh. Um, you know, Pennsylvania. Nice. Yeah.
I am in Los Angeles, California, in the US right now,
which is funny because a couple of days ago, I
was actually out of the country on vacation. So I
live in l A. Though. Um I was in the
Cayman Islands, so I was there just for a couple
(05:55):
of days. Yeah, just for a couple of days. Um.
But yeah, now I'm back in l A. I just
got actually it was last weekend from not as nice,
um as a place as the Cayman Islands. You might
have heard of Tulsa, Oklahoma. Oh yeah, yeah, I think
I've heard of it Actually you say that, but every
time that would. The week leading up to it, I
(06:17):
was talking to all my friends about it and like,
I really bought the tickets and I knew where I
was going. But every time I told my friends, they
were like they the first thing they asked was like, wait,
Oklahoma Tulsa, And they kept making me think, like, wait
is the another one? Did I buy the raw ticket? Yeah?
What's your connection out there? Where? You just like, oh,
(06:38):
I'm going to go to Oklahoma? So to two birds
months that kind of thing. I went there because I
have a friend who was working in Pittsburgh moved out there,
so I decided to meet him. Second bird was, Um,
I don't know if you know this band. I think
they're from Canada. They're called Purity Ring. I have heard
(07:00):
of them. Actually, what happened was the Tuesdays. I actually
was looking at like, oh, wait, they're still one tour.
Maybe I could see him another place. Lo and behold
they were playing in Tulsa. Then I was reminded, wait,
I think my friend listened Tulsa, so technically he kind
of came second. But it was okay, but no, um,
(07:20):
that was a great show. Good to see him again. Unfortunately,
there was a heat do in effect for that week,
so it was one hundred up to one of four
the entire time I was there at ten o'clock at night,
it was still eighty plus degrees. That's just adding to
my list of things that makes Oklahoma great. So to
(07:43):
their credit, one off thing, So you know, I still
would recommend. Yes, it's still a good weekend city. Tell
me about the kingdam so imagine that was probably pretty chill,
pretty relaxing. Yeah, it was really fun funny enough. I
the way that it worked out, I was, I'm from
(08:04):
North Carolina, um so from the East coast. Originally I
was going back to North Carolina also for a concert
um and did that concert. We booked it like over
a year ago, like when the tickets first came out,
and literally a week before my trip, the show that
we were going to a North Carolina got postponed um
(08:24):
and so I was like whatever, Like I'm still gonna
go back like see my friends. And I was like,
let me just see how much would be to go
from like North Carolina down with the Cayman Islands and
then back to l A. Because flights were flights were
insane it was gonna cost me like twelve dollars round
trip from l A to North Carolina. And I was like,
(08:45):
that just seems ridiculous. So, and I used to live
in the Cayman Islands, so that that's kind of like
my connection there. I wasn't just like oh, random Cayman Islands. Um.
So yeah, So it ended up costing me like half
the price to go from l A to North Carolina
to the Cayman Islands and then back to l A.
And so I was like, we can we can make
that happen. Oh wow, I'm just feeling jealous. Hold tight,
(09:13):
we're going to be back in just a moment after
this short break. That concert that wasn't in the Cayman Islands,
that was in North Carolina. Yeah, the concert was in
North Carolina. Um, I don't know. When I lived in
(09:35):
the Capan Islands, it was during like the height of COVID,
so like all like end and like most so their
borders were pretty strict. Um so I feel like they're
just now starting to get back like concerts and stuff
like that. But yeah, that concert was in North Carolina.
So then I also was like, oh, like I'll just
(09:55):
like move my dates to when he comes to l A.
But then the whole tour ended up getting canceled and
so now no conflict. What was what was the musician
Sean Mindes One second, I took on a notification of
my phone that is overheating. I think because of the
dual was saying I'm going to take it out of
the case, and I mean, it is kind of hot.
(10:18):
But I hate that. I hate that notification. I was
always like, oh, how how long have you lived in Pittsburgh?
So I immigrated, um when I was five or six,
from Vietnam. My dad followed my uncle who was going
to school here. But yeah, I um, I grew up there.
(10:42):
Um after college, the city was seeing growth, so I
end up like a staying around, going to work, and
I just built a small community here. And yeah, that's
I've stuck around. The only other place that I was
considering moving after This would be a little cliche from
what I see is but Portland's actually yeah, I've heard
(11:06):
that Portland is super pretty. I haven't been anywhere like
above California, like so like Oregon, like Washington, anywhere like
Pacific Northwest. I haven't been anywhere there, but I have
friends that live up that way, and I've heard it's
really pretty. I heard that it is rainy. I don't
know if it rains a lot. When I visited Seattle.
(11:29):
One of the things that came up they called it
one of the uber drivers who immigrated are not immigrated,
but like um transfer there, like you know, um a
few years ago mentioned something called like the Northwest Freeze.
Have you heard of that? I haven't, which is yeah,
So it was referring to the culture, how like, yeah,
(11:51):
everyone has smiling faces on, but it's almost like a
facade and they're not actually as nice a me pure
And I don't know, And I was just cious, like
I've heard something similar, um about just a different culture
like the West Coast. I was just kiss like, what's
it like yours parents been? Yeah, I would say I
(12:16):
the biggest city I guess that I had lived in
or been a part of before moving to l A
was like Charlotte, North Carolina. And I feel like l
A is like it feels to me like Charlotte, Like
everyone is pretty nice. Like I feel like yesterday honestly
was the first time I was ever around people who
maybe were some of that like oh, like we're being nice,
(12:37):
but like we're not actually nice. And I was at
like an event for like influencers and like content creators.
Other than that, I feel like everyone's genuinely been pretty nice.
And I don't know if I just meet people that
aren't from the West Coast who have moved out here,
or if it's people who just have grown up out
here but like have been lots of places and stuff.
(12:58):
But yeah, it really wasn't until guest today where I
was like, oh, like, these are the people that people
think l A is made up of. Um, so that
was interesting. Hold on, that was the door. I think
it might be my food. So let's see what did
(13:20):
you order? Um? I got, I hop and I got
just like pancakes and eggs and sausage because that was
the first thing that I saw. Um. But yeah, I'm
very excited. Nice. Anywait, you said I So you said
you're in l A, right, correct. Maybe this is more
(13:41):
of a too much of a generalization thing, like it
has to be we're describing with like those kids in Toronto,
but like I would imagine you probably have a wide
selection of food and of everything else here. I hop
was the you know, go to I would say in
l A. And I've only been here for like six months,
so don't shoot me if this is like a terrible
(14:02):
generalization l A people. Um, but I feel like there
is food in l A, but it's like a lot
of just like generic food. Like it's like whenever I
have friends come to town, it's like, oh, like where
should we go eat? And it's like, Okay, there's like
these places we can go and it's like fine food,
(14:23):
but it's not like, oh my gosh, like this is
the place that you have to go to, Like yeah,
there's like a few places like that, but I feel
like it's like overall it's like, oh, like yeah, this
food is pretty good, but it's not like, oh my gosh,
this is like the best food I've ever had in
my entire life. So there's like definitely a few places
where I'm like, oh, people, I definitely have to take
(14:43):
them here. This is unique, this is amazing. But then
other times I'm like, all right, like this channel do
And there was an eyehop like right by where I live,
so I was like, oh, this should be like an
easy delivery. Okay, all right, Well, I mean you know you,
but I'm just very surprisedful. Yeah, I'm surrounded by chains
where I live, so it's literally like so many chains,
(15:07):
and there's like a couple of little local places sprinkled in.
But yeah, uh, David, maybe your phone overheated. My phone
shutdown because it overheated. What I'm doing right now this
(15:27):
might be a first. I am using my my freezer
and I'm putting my phone, so that's why I'm taking
the call from now. This is my kitchen, so yeah,
I'm taking this call from my freezer. Um, hopefully this
this is amazing. I wish everyone could see this visual
(15:49):
right now. I'm just glad I got back in to
actually kind of like bring that back. You haven't, just
like I I have only really in the past five
years got into like, hey, you know, like I think
I do like to travel, like go in different places. Um.
(16:10):
So when I started getting into that more, I started
noticing that, like there seems to be a such section
of people who love traveling, but they're like seemingly doing
it just for like I don't know, just like for
the Instagram and like stuff like that, and they're going
to like pretty jet set destinations like your Santorini's. You're
(16:30):
like your parents and stuff like that, and look, and
that's fine. I definitely want to go to those places too,
But like I was thought, like there's plenty of stuff
in my own backyard that I have yet to like
actually explore, and within the US itself, I'm pretty sure
no one's like posting crazy stuff about Tulsa. But like
when I was saying, I was like, wow, this is
(16:50):
actually pretty good, and like I don't think I would
have thought about that otherwise. Yeah, It's like every place
has stuff that makes it uniquely beautiful, and like I
realized that when I was driving across the country to California,
Like I drove through like a lot of pretty random states,
like rural parts of Texas, and it all was really pretty.
(17:12):
Like it was also different, but for me, like living
on the East Coast and like the beach region for
so long, like everything was like what so Like when
I'm like driving through like and starting to see mountain
ranges and like the flat planes of like Texas, like
most people probably would have like clawed their eyes out
for two days of driving that, but I was like, whow,
like oil rigs, like this is so nice, Like it's
(17:35):
so different, and like look at these cows and like exactly,
like yeah, oh oh speaking of cows, by the way,
little just as that. So we're in America, you know,
big cows and stuff like right. I remember going to Japan.
The size different sizes and like starting sizes. It's like
(17:56):
night and day. Yeah, I felt so I Sha was like,
oh man, this is your large and this is our small.
Literally literally it was like that. In Africa, there was
this one like sandwich shop that we went to, like
I would say we went like once a week because
it was like walking distance from where we were staying.
(18:17):
And yeah. It was like we'd order like a sandwich
and it would come with like some kind of like
side like pries or like something like that, and it
was a normal portions eyes and we were all like, oh,
this is so small, and it was like nope, this
is just how much we should be eating. Um. So yeah,
that was a fun eye opening experience. And then when
(18:37):
I came back to America after that, I was like
everything is huge. I we like this that I would
through like my phase of hating America or whatever. Then
you a full circle, I mean you get exactly yeah,
I think we friends. Oh there we got I'm back.
(19:06):
Wait did your phone over heat too? Yeah, I guess
we were too hot to handle. So, UM, tell me
about like Africa. Yeah, I was only there for like
three months. Um. I had some friends that were doing
like a football program at one of the universities in Nairobi,
and so we went over to help them like run
(19:28):
the program and stuff like that. So it was super fun.
Um Yeah, lots of fun, like food and different like
takes of food. Like I really loved. They have these
stands where they made like hot dogs and sounds super
like boring, but they something about the way that they
like put like salsa on it or something like. It
(19:48):
was just so good, the best thing I've ever had. Um.
And I literally got one every single day because they
have a little carts on campus, and I was like,
these hot dogs are the best. And there was one
time I was literally it was like a movie, was
literally bringing the hot dog like to my mouth to
eat it, and something like hit me in the head,
and I thought that it was the guy who like
(20:09):
made the hot dog because I had said something about like, oh,
like last time I got one that came with like
a different kind of bun, and like I must have
just ordered the wrong one because it was like the
weird gun, and I was like, okay, I need to remember,
like which one I ordered, like so that I ordered
the one that I liked better. And I thought he
had heard me say that and like had thrown the
bun that I wanted like at my head, and so
(20:30):
I like turn wrong, I'll look back and like like
I turned around. I looked back and like it wasn't that,
And so then I was like, oh, weird, And I
went back to keep eating my hot dog, but it
was gone, and I realized what it happened was like
literally a bird had like flown down, grabbed the hot
dog out of my hand as I was about to
eat it, and like hit me in the head with
its wing and I look over and it's like flying
(20:51):
away with my hot dog. And I always remember that
because I was just in the streets of Kenya dying laughing,
and everyone's staring at me. They're like, what's with this girl?
Why is she like dying laughing in the middle of
the street, And like me and my friend that I
was with, we were just like unable to walk, like
we were like this is the funniest thing ever. And yeah,
so there's my hot dog story before you. Okay, this
(21:16):
is Becca here. Unfortunately we are at times, so it's
time to say our goodbyes. It was really good meeting you.
Thank you for the awesome conversation. So nice chatting with you.
This was super fun. Okay, Ashley, take off your headphones
for a second. We want to just talk to David privately.
Thank you. David. I thought that that was great. I
(21:37):
thought that you had really interesting stories and you really
kept conversation flowing well. You guys touched a lot of interesting,
fun topics and kept it very lighthearted for a first date.
You're amazing putting your phone in the freezer. It's so
fun to watch, and I love how spontaneous you are.
How did you feel it went. It took about maybe
(22:00):
ten fifteen minutes for us to start vibing. All my
reactions towards us raw because I had no idea like
what was happening. You guys did a great job of
ping ponging back and forth, sharing different stories with each other.
Do you feel curious to get to know more about Ashley? Yeah, potentially,
but like I you know, I'm the way it was done.
(22:25):
It was very unique to me. Normally I text the
person back and forth. First, Let's say Ashley is interested
in getting to know more about you. How do you
feel about that? I'm just curious knowing the distance situation
is you know, potentially problematic. But like, but that's said,
(22:48):
I don't um. Recently, I've been taking a different route
to dating, and like I've been actually being friends with
the people who don't even like work out, so like
you know, in that sense, yeah, definitely, long distance has
worked well recently because so many people can work remotely,
and Ashley is in a position where she potentially could.
(23:10):
So maybe the two of you will take a trip
to Oregon and spend some time together or go to
a concert, and you can see how things develop. But
I'll connect with Ashley and see how she felt about
you as well, any concerns aside from the distance. I
we had the fund general banter of a date. But
(23:33):
normally at this point I would know something about that
person and about their once their dating goals like that.
So I don't know those things about her, and she
doesn't those things about me. We didn't really get deep
into anyone particular topic, if you noticed, in one way,
to really be able to do that and get a
bit deeper than surface level is to just ask a
(23:56):
follow up question. So don't be afraid next time to
ask a little bit more about a specific trip. She
went on her a story. She told if that you
really enjoyed, this definitely is a unique situation. It was
really fun to watch you guys on a date. So
I appreciate it and thank you for the opportunity, even
if like nothing happens. I really enjoyed the overall experience.
(24:17):
I love it. Thank you very much. Thanks David. Let's
invite Ashley back on. All right, Ashley, I'm so excited
to hear what you thought about that day. It was
really fun to watch, especially as both of you were
in the freezer. So first, before I go into how
I thought you did on the date, tell me while
(24:39):
it's fresh, how did you feel it went? Don't go anywhere,
we'll be back after this short break. How did you
feel it went? It felt a little less natural, I
(25:03):
guess than my date with Jeff from the other day,
So I guess that was like the main feedback. I
guess that's the right word from that one, like it
was still fun. I think like by the end, we
like kind of found a group and we're getting into things.
But starting off that one felt like it took a
little more to get started and get into it. Could
(25:24):
you tell in your body a difference, like where did
you feel sort of stiff or just not as relaxed,
like physically, how did you feel? Yeah? I think I
felt just not as relaxed. Um. I could sense myself
feeling or acting like how I do when I'm like
talking with the client or something like that, like more
(25:44):
like business e. And so I was like, okay, like
don't be business e. Um, but I was I just
like noted it. Um. But yeah, again, like I think
by the end we were able to laugh and like
connect on something, so that was really cool. Um. But yeah,
I think that it just didn't feel as natural or
as like fluid of a connection as um when me
(26:06):
and Jeff talked the other day, that felt a little
more like I was at ease in my body like
and stuff like that. Okay, interesting, And what were some
of the things that you appreciated about David and then
also anything that you were concerned about. Yeah, I think
I appreciated how he kept the conversation going, Like I
didn't feel like I was having to pull teeth and
(26:28):
ask a ton of questions and stuff like that. He
shared a lot about himself, which I think is really
good and helped me kind of get to know him
a little bit more as well. There wasn't anything that
was like a major red flag or anything like that.
Um yeah, I don't know. I just I feel like
there just wasn't as much of a connection as there
(26:51):
was on the first one for whatever reason. Um, but
not for any like negative reasons or anything like that.
I know that you might not have felt a strong
a connection with David as you did with Jeff, but
I kind of feel the same. The same feedback applies
to this round. If there was any moments where you
wanted to insert some clurtiness to see if we can
increase connection, whether it's you know, playful banter about some
(27:14):
story that he told, or you know, making a joke
here and there, having some kind of banter in that way,
I think that can always kind of see if the
chemistry could grow in the space that feels a little
bit more friendly. I would also encourage you to, you know,
and I told David this go a bit deeper on
topics it can really just increase vulnerability can increase connection.
(27:35):
And while it is so important to stay lighthearted and
fun and easy going on a first date, which you
have nailed down to a t, you're so good at
that lighthearted, fun, easy conversation. When we're really looking for
our person, we also want to get to know them more.
So it doesn't have to be anything serious, doesn't have
to be any intense questioning or anything that feels like
a job interview. But you feel like there's space, or
(27:58):
you feel like there's an opportunity, I encourage you to
just try and dive in a little bit deeper. You
were able to get across a few places that you lived,
which is really nice because this is a terrible analogy,
but it's helped. It's like a strip tease where every
you know date, you take something off and they learn
a little bit more about you and you're able to
get vulnerable. So it's great that you were able to
(28:20):
sprinkle that in. And it maybe just because you didn't
feel as connected with him, like I didn't get a
sense of the light flirting we talked about. But that
might just be because you didn't feel quite as comfortable
as you did with Jeff. Yeah, I think that just
knowing myself in general, light flirting is interesting whatever happens. Um. So,
(28:45):
I think I definitely really have to feel comfortable with
someone in order for that to just kind of naturally
happen and not overthink it and be like, oh, like,
was that flirting? Should I have flirted more? Like? So? Yeah,
I think that that definitely may have been a part
of ATS for sure. There were a few spots where
I thought you could have chimed in with something, But
it's okay. You should only do it if it feels
(29:06):
authentic to you. Yeah, you know, every time we learn
more about you and how you feel with the matches,
then we can change it up and tweak it a
little bit. It's really up to you. But all these
dates are helpful, even if they don't end up in
a second day. Yeah. No, I completely agree. So for
the next match, anything that you want us to keep
in mind, anything that you'd want us to change up.
(29:29):
I don't know. Maybe I do do better with someone
who is also an extrovert. Maybe that's part of it.
I don't I don't know what part of it is,
like career pathways, Like, maybe I do better with someone
who's like like in front of people, and maybe that
could be something fun to switch up. I think we
(29:50):
have our plan and where did we land on Jeff?
Should we do a second day or just move on
to another match? Um? I think that we should do
a second date with Jeff and also have a new match. Okay,
I love that plan, and I have the feedback from
this date which is really helpful. So we'll go back
(30:11):
to the drawing board. We're going to interview some more
matches and then I'll be back into touch with you
to present another match soon. Awesome, that sounds great. Okay, perfect, Well,
thank you, Ashley. I'll be back in touch and have
a great rest of your day. Yeah, thank you you too.
Thank you everyone for listening. Please look out for our
(30:32):
next episode, which will hopefully be ashley second date with
Jeff if he's down, so we'll see if the two
can rekindle and connect and get a bit deeper. Want
to follow along with the show or know anyone good
for Ashley? Follow us on Love Struck Daily on Instagram
and Twitter, or email Love Struck Daily at frolic dot
Media for match baking. Join our free database at three
(30:56):
day Roule dot com or follow us in social media
at three Day Rule. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein and
our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are produced by Abigail
Steckler with Little Scorpion Studios. We are executive produced by
Frolic Media. This is an I Heart Radio podcast. I'm
(31:21):
in love with Good, I'm in love with you, I'm
in love with you,
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