July 11, 2022 • 26 mins
Have you ever been on an awful and insane but retroactively hilarious date? You are not alone… and boy do those dating disasters make great stories! This week, we are airing a suite of real dating mishaps and misfires, paired with a suite of guest hosts. Today, we are welcoming comedian and podcaster Jaime Loftus as our guest host, discussing guest Charlie Malcolm’s unfortunate dating experiences; including a catfish and a co-worker. Plus — curious about the dick pic Jamie received while eating a hot dog at the airport at 6am? Tune in to find out!
Get your daily happily ever after on LoveStruck Daily, with new love stories every Monday-Friday. In the meantime, follow @LoveStruckDaily on Instagram and Twitter for extra content.
If you have a love story to share, or any questions for the team, email lovestruckdaily@frolic.media.
View episode transcript here: https://otter.ai/u/y-6TlH_dQEoLOxIMGdmgq9klnXo
And for goodness sakes...just kiss already!!!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Are you in the mood to hear some absolute dating disasters, Well,
buckle in, you're in luck, because today we've got a
whole show full of some amazing, cringe worthy tales all
about the search for love. I'm in love with the
(00:29):
I'm in love with you. Hello. My name is Jamie Loftus,
and I'm guest hosting today on Love Struck Daily. So
my whole deal is that I am a comedian and
a podcaster. I'm currently a writer on Star Trek Lower Decks,
(00:51):
and I do a number of podcasts, including my most
recent limited series with I Heart Radio is called Ghost Church,
about the history of an American spiritualism and a bunch
of psychics in Florida. But that's not what we're talking
about today. Today we are talking all about dating disasters. Uh,
something that I personally am uniquely qualified to comment on
(01:13):
because I had sex with someone I met at a
hot dog eating contest this year. So with that in mind,
I think you can take all of my dating advice
very seriously. I'm a very discerning person and all of
my choices make a lot of sense. Speaking of someone
who makes decisions that make a lot of sense, let's
(01:35):
get our guested here today, the one and only, truly
wonderful Charlie Malcolm. I had so much fun talking to him.
Charlie as a composer and lyricist in l A. He's
extremely talented and also has some of the widest variety
of wild dating stories I have heard in some time.
(01:55):
I'm very excited for you to hear what he has
to say about dating apps, worries and i R real
dating stories. Turns out, to nobody's surprise, they're both the worst.
So let's take a listen to our conversation. Hi, Charlie,
how are you? I am great, I am happy to
(02:19):
be here. Oh my gosh. Okay, so just to start,
could you introduce yourself a little? Could you tell me
who you are, what you do? And um, just out
of strict curiosity on my end, what dating applications do
you use? Oh? Lots and lots of info. Okay, I'm
Charlie Malcolm. I'm based in Los Angeles Metro area. I
(02:44):
am currently working as a post production coordinator and okay,
currently I'm only on Tinder, which is a funny story
because I was never on Tinder before, but then after
a particularly bad incident that happened a few weeks ago.
I deleted all my other dating apps, which included Hinge.
(03:06):
I was also on Grinder because I was curious um
and I was also on Tammy. I was on all
the apps. I don't like Bumble though. For some reason
that one just didn't get me, I mean fair enough.
And then like yeah, I just to leave them all
and then I want Someone told me about the Tinder
Swindler the movie, and I watched it and I was like,
you know what, I think I had the worst takeaway
(03:27):
from this movie was that I should get on Tinder now.
But like it was a terrible idea for me to be, like,
at least these people got to go on private jet
and get to be taken out to dinner. I have
so many questions in to fy your experience because I mean,
but I do agree with you exactly get something out
of it at the top at very least. Yes, I mean,
(03:50):
I can tell you this story. This happened a few
weeks ago. It was on Hinge. But you know, I
would say, out of all the dating apps, I would
say just the classiest for my opinion, like it's really
nice you get to like go through look at all
the like, you get to see who likes you for free.
That's nice, and you can see what they like about you.
(04:13):
I don't really I've never really used dating apps. So
every piece of information you're going to give me is
going to be met with um, shock and awe. Oh
this is research. This is I this is horny research
on my part. So you get to see who likes
you and what specifically they liked about your profile. Yes, wow,
big data. Okay, but this one was funny. I might
(04:36):
more or less have an aesthetic, or did at the time. Yes,
I've changed this much in the last couple of weeks
to be like, um, yeah, if you look like a
talk boy, like, I'm okay with that. I just want
you to have like a personality, Like it's a nice aesthetic. Okay,
it is athetic, can be very pleasing. Yeah, it's a
(04:56):
nice esthetic. Like I like, hey, I just don't be
a gym rat. Like if you say I go to
the gym all day every day, I'm like, you're starting
to like slip into this is too much for me.
I don't physically like to exercise, and I feel like
that's not gonna work. You're like, I will not be
joining you there, so best of luck. So wait too,
(05:18):
I mean this guy is a hiker, yes or no,
not a hiker. His profile was really simple, and here
is probably the biggest red flag that I now look
out for everywhere. Sometimes I don't know if this happens
on straight apps, because obviously I'm not straight person, but
sometimes you come across profiles where people don't put their
full name. They just put like a letter, like just
(05:41):
a letter. That's not enough into yeah, I was just
like a letter. And they have like lots of photos,
more than one photos. And usually I'm really good about vetting.
And I said, hey, my name's Davi. Um like, what's
up with you? And I was like, oh, look, this
like hot person actually wants to talk with me. That's nice.
(06:01):
That doesn't happen very often. Let's chat. And then we
started chatting and then he's like, what do you like
to do for fun? I'm like, well, right now, I'm
like reading a lot of books blah bla blah blah.
And he's like, oh, what books are you reading? And
I mentioned about the books and then you talked about
some of the books like he was reading, and I
was like, there's personality this never happens, which honestly should
have been the biggest red flag. And we were just
(06:23):
like having a really good conversation and he was like, yeah,
I'm from Singapore, but I moved to l A like
a few years ago just for more opportunities. I do
like interior design, but I do finance for like my
main work. And I was like, okay, cool, I've always
wanted to date to finance bro. It was on my
checklist of things people to date. Wow, somebody who has
(06:45):
money theoretically, a steady job, personalities to experience. Yeah, you
gotta tip your toe in the someone who has money
pool every once in a while, just to just to remember.
So so then he started talking like basicly me, I mentioned, oh,
like right now, joking, I don't have a lot of
money because I just like paid rent. And this guy's like, oh, well,
(07:08):
do you have like a wealth plan? And I was like, no,
but I have like a four one yeah, like who cares,
Oh my god, finance bro talk, No, not a wealth plan.
He's stressing to be out and then he's like, listen, Charlie,
I think this will be a really great project for you.
I really like you. I think like I really want
to teach you about how to like do the finance stuff.
(07:30):
So I'm gonna like teach you about like just how
to invest in stuff. And I was like, I don't
really want to invest any money. Also, you're a stranger
from the internet. And mind you, every time I match
with somebody, I screenshot their profile and then I go
and try to like find their social media because I
like stalking them because you got to make sure they're
not a murderer. And for some reason, I just couldn't
(07:52):
find him on your social profile. So I started like
trying to move the conversation, being like, well, I just
kind of like want to meet you, Like if you
like me that much, then we should just meet um.
And he's like, okay, I just want to help you
get money first, to like let me teach you about
like cryptocurrency, and I was like, dude, cryptocurrency is doing
(08:12):
so bad right now. I don't want to put money
in cryptocurrenyies. And that was the thing that like tripped
me up a little bit because he was talking about crypto,
Like the way he was talking about Finesses is a
crypto is like he knew what he was talking about
and I could tell, but sure, I'll humor you because
like whatever, he wants to do this project. So he
was teaching me all about this stuff. Mind you. This
(08:34):
was like over the period of like three days, and
then eventually he was like, Charlie, I really like you,
and I don't want to look for any other people
on the dating app, so I'm just letting you know
I'm deleting my Hinge profile. And I was like, okay, cool,
like are we going on a date? Like? And I
(08:56):
went back and I like I noticed his hinch trial
file was going and I was like, this is weird.
So I was like, do you have any other social
media just like tell me a fair question. And he's like, oh,
I don't do social. I don't do social. And I
was like, okay, fine, I do know a lot of
people who don't do really like Instagram or anything. He's like,
I have like a like a WhatsApp and I was like, fine,
let me chat with you on what'sapp if you're more
like communicative there, because we were texting at this point
(09:19):
and I went to What's Happened is What's happen didn't
have a profile picture, um, and I was like, hey,
Davy like you should upload a profile picture um, And
he's like, I don't really want to. I don't like
necessarily think I photographed well. And here's me using my
flirtatious way to try to get information because I'm like,
I was like, do you want to like face time
or like whatever, and he's like, no, I just I
(09:40):
really want to save it for like when we meet
in person, because like I feel like it's like so
un personal. And I was like, yeah, I just I
really wanted to see your face today because it's so handsome,
this is me um. And I was like, you're killing it.
I mean, thank you, thank you. So I was like,
I just I just want to see your smiling face today. Um.
(10:01):
And he's like okay, and then he like sends a
picture in the picture in the picture is not of
(10:23):
the guy from the profile, like not even like remotely
like passable. He just drops the act like he accidentally.
This is my idea is that I think this person
runs multiple cat fishing schemes and since he deleted the
Dinge profile, he forgot which guy he was pretending to be.
(10:46):
But he sends the picture a blond white man god,
and I'm like sir, you're supposed to look like this
person from Singapore. Remember when he's like, Charlie, why don't
you trust me? Like you just send said I got confused.
You said like, send me a picture of like a
smiling face, and I sent you a picture of a
(11:07):
smiling face, and I was like, nah, by apparently on
WhatsApp you can download the conversations and its entirety. And
then I also went back to Hinge and I reported
the profile and being like, this guy's cat fishing. So
now I don't trust any of the letter accounts because
I'm like, I bet that guy just had like one
account for every letter in the alphabet j K, L, M, N, O,
(11:29):
p UM, and he's just probably running them all um.
And I was just like, this is so ridiculous, and
I was like, I'm taking a break from dating. And
then like one week later, I'm like, so I'm on
Tinder now. But I don't know what the takeaway is
from that. I feel like the takeaway of that story
for me is, Wow, crypto is really and truly dead
(11:50):
if this is what the crypto bros Are up to,
um running tier scam. I do have another funny story
that have in like just a week before, where I
received my first ever dick pic unsolicited. Oh, I welcome
to the club. I know. I was that well staged,
no bait. Well, okay, was the photo good? The photo
(12:14):
was good, I will say that. I was like, if
there was nice lighting, the room was not dirty? There was,
although there was like eight photos. I was like, why
are you sending this to strangers unsolicited dick pics? Though
most recently I got I left air drop on an airport.
(12:34):
Of all the places I know I was at it,
I was at an airport in Dallas, minding my own business,
eating a hot dog of all the foods I know,
of all the foods, already having semiphallic experience, and then
out of nowhere. Not that they could have known that
(12:55):
I was the girl eating the hot dog. They were
just said dig their to anyone who had accidentally left
air drop on. But yeah, that was That was earlier
this week at the Dallas airport I did. And it
was also like six in the morning. It was really early.
This is like, this story does not reflect well on me,
(13:15):
because I, like you obviously can't get a hot dog
at the airport at six in the morning. It was
from the previous airport. The night before I had taken
a red eye, wasn't even cold. There was a Lukeward
already having a rough morning, and now I have to
see a first of all, you know, like that no
one should send unsolicited pictures of themselves that like is
(13:37):
like bad in itself, but also horrifically staged, clearly taken
in the airport bathroom. Not only did you not ask
for it, there's no artistry behind it and fluorescent overhead lighting.
Yeah yeah, gussie it up for me. Probably no hygiene either.
Let's be real. But you know I'm but here. I
(13:58):
am reflecting on it with some fondness. Wait, tell me
your last tell me your last dating story. Yes, of course,
of course. So my last hopefully dating disaster story is
that basically I had this. UM, I got fed up
with the dating apps for a while, and I wanted
to you know, I wanted to pull the old fashion.
(14:20):
I wanted to meet somebody in real life, like all
of my friends who are like, you know, coupled up
or married. Um. All their advice was like, yeah, well
I just went to college and I just found I
met them at work or like we just like falling
off and how to real life meet you and I'm like, yeah,
I know, I'm like thanks, thanks so much, so I
(14:43):
was like okay, um, basically post pandemic. I came back
to the office and I ran into an old coworker
who we will be referring to as co worker as
their kind, who I remember that they were gay, and
I was like, listen, as a day person, it's super
annoying to just have to jump through the first hoop
(15:03):
being like, Hi, are you all potentially able to be
attracted to me as I am attracted to you? Great?
Do you actually want to like me? Now? Like that's
the next thing. Um. It was like one of my
old you know, work husbands where we're just like, oh,
we always like flir and the kitchen, And when like
(15:26):
I ran into him again, I was like oh snap,
like oh, like hey, it's been a while, I have
you been. But we had like our own like reignited
like meek you, and I was like I'm bored. I
have literally nothing to lose. I don't actually like work
with this person. It's just somebody that works in my building,
(15:47):
you know, so like potentially avoidable if it hits the
fan kind of thing. Yes, Like basically it was all
like I feel like we're all mature adults, like we
don't actually work together, so it wouldn't be like a
conflict of interest. So basically we were chatting it up
and then I was like coworker, I said, at first,
(16:09):
do you want to go to dinner? And they were like,
oh yeah, I can't tonight, but like let's go on
Friday or whatever. And I was like, okay, great, that's awesome.
It's a date. That's awesome. That's good. You're like yeah, great,
Um Friday comes around, he like cancels. He's like, I'm
so sorry. I forgot a double book my plans. I
was like, okay, that's fine, Like you suck. You should
(16:31):
write things down on your calendar. You're a full fledged
adult at this point. But that's fine. I reserved the right.
Obviously you're going to be paying for some stuff on
this date. And he's like yeah, and we were schedule. Okay.
I love that move on your part. That is excellent.
I love it. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I always
like to to re clarify. I was like, because we're
(16:53):
going on a date, um, and he's like, yeah, okay, great, yeah.
So basically we did that and then finally the date
comes back around. Also, mind you, I have a lot
of people at the office that have been like trying
to ship this coworker and I for a long time.
There was a whole group chat made around it. It
was a thing um and like they were all like, okay,
(17:16):
you have to let us know how it goes. Like okay,
so we finally agree we're going to go to this restaurant. Um.
It's like kind of like an upscale like chain in
l a Um called Grandville. I'm not sure if you're familiar,
it's like, yeah, it's like not uh nice, nice restaurant,
but it's not like a not nice restaurant. It kind
(17:39):
of feels like a step of but like okay, hopefully
this doesn't sound absolutely unhinged, but like I was like,
oh yeah, grand felt like is the logical conclusion to
the cheesecake factory. You're like, it's a classier cheesecake factory. Vibes,
that's that's exactly. Yes. So I guess to the restaurant
and then coworker says like, oh I'm here, and I'm like, boy,
(18:01):
I do not see boy, I do not see you
where are you at? I sent you the address. You
better not tell me this is the dreaded You went
(18:21):
to the wrong restaurant. He went to the wrong restaurant,
So we're off to a bad star. There's multiple he
just went to the one that he thought was closest,
so we're off to already, Like, okay, maybe it's not
really reading into things. He's not like reading the message.
He shows up, he's like, so sorry, okay, we're here.
(18:42):
We're having a great time. Coworker and I are eating
our food, we're chatting. We're just talking about life because
we only really like talk about work stuff and we're
at work. And then I started like getting this vibe
where I was like, okay, so like what's your type? Usually,
like I just started asking about things and the way
(19:02):
that he was talking, He's like, yeah, I'm not like
really like interested in like I'm taking a break from
dating right now, and like I just like I don't
even know if I'll ever actually settled down at all,
like honestly, And the way that he was like talking,
I was like, wait, hold up, are you let me
ask this? But I really hope, I hope you are
you aware that we are currently on a date, sir.
(19:27):
And he's like, wait what And I was like, but
do you have said it multiple times? And I'm like
sitting here and being like a coworker, there is no
possible way that there is a misunderstanding here, sir. And
basically I walked around being like, remember when I said
on this day, when he said we were going on
a date, I thought that was a clue in that
(19:47):
we were going on a date. And he's like, you do.
In retrospect, that does make sense. I did think it
was weird that you said date, but I was like, whatever,
maybe he's just like saying that. And I was like,
I gave you the reason I'm saying these things so
that you the opportunity to correct me and be like, oh,
that's when you say what, that's when you say we're
not just hanging out. So I'm sitting here, I'm like,
(20:08):
I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed pushing this man out
on an iceberg. I can't believe I know. So I'm
like out here onto him. He's like, oh what, and
I'm like I'm so embarrassed. Sorry, Like and then I
was like, now that you're aware, would you like to
consent to actually calling this a date, so I don't
feel like I've just wasted my entire time here. You
don't have to to be clear, but like, would you
(20:29):
like now that you understand things, He's like sure. It's
also like he should have known. The date was great
for the rest of the time, we make out, we
go back to work a see coworker again. I'm all like, hey,
that was so fun, um, do you want to like
try doing another thing, like going on another day? And
and the way that he started like chatting like he's
(20:51):
still like talking to me, but I could just like
I'm a pretty emotionally aware of person. I could just
be like, you're not acting the same, You're being a
little bit distant. And then he's like, yeah, like let
me see. I'm like kind of busy for the next
couple of weeks, so I'll have to see you when
we can do that again, if we can. And I
was like, okay, great, And then after like one day
of that, because I'm like I don't got time for this,
(21:11):
because I already can tell that you're not a good
communicator right and extremely disorganized. I go, coworker, what is
going on? And then like basically I was able to
get out, and he's like, I was like, do you
not want to go on another day? And he's like,
I thought I was clear we didn't go on a date.
And I was like, what in the gas lighting is
(21:33):
happening here? That was not clear when you were making
out with me at the end after I asked you,
And he's like, yeah, I just like felt a little
bit pressured to just like say like it was a
date because they didn't want to upset you. And then
when you asked me to make out, I thought it
was being clear. So I just like I just made
out with you because like I didn't want to hurt
(21:53):
your feelings. And I was like, sir, that is not
a good way to go about things. You're making me
feel like I'm a bad person now, and I'm trying
to literally give you every opportunity to consent. You did
nothing wrong. Like this person's connection to reality tenuous at best,
Like wow, yeah, I'm like I walk away. And the
funny thing is I still see this coworker all the
(22:15):
freaking time, and I still hang out with them, but like,
I just think it's so funny I see them all
the time. For sure. So from the coworker saga, what
was your takeaway that listeners can perhaps take away. I
think the major takeaway from me is that I don't
think it means oh, dating is evil, or that you
(22:37):
shouldn't date co workers, or that you shouldn't do this.
It's just that it's always going to be a compatibility issue.
And I think compatibility doesn't just cut doubt like sexuality.
It comes to how you communicate, how you share your emotions,
and whether people are available to share their emotions or
to be even clear enough to recognize how you want
to define your relationships. And that's how I'm approaching things.
(22:59):
So that's why I'm like in the future, I'm like, yeah, sure,
maybe i'll date another coworker in the future. And I'm
still on the apps. As I mentioned before, I actually
have a date tonight, so we'll see how that goes.
I know right back, but at least it's like I'm
going on a date and I know it's a date,
and that's helpful. Well, thank you so much for coming on, Charlie.
(23:20):
I I totally agree with you, and I think you
communicated every step of the way with your coworker. I
feel like that was a very weird specific thing your team, Charlie.
I'm I mean, I'm thoroughly teamed, Charlie. I don't know
who this man is, but I think he needs to
practice some reading comprehension skills and listening while he's at it.
Where could we uh find you online? Yes? Um, you
(23:45):
can find me on Instagram. I'm mostly active there at
Charlie dot malcolm c R L A M A L
C O L M and that it's also my website.
I happen to do a lot of composing for music,
So if you want to hear any of the songs
based off of my terrible dating experiences, I have several
(24:05):
and you can find them at Charlie Malcolm dot com. Amazing.
Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks so much, Jamie.
Thank you so much again to Charlie Malcolm for coming
on the show this week, and thanks to Love Struck
for having me. In general, I think that everything Charlie
said gave me something to chew on. First of all, uh,
(24:28):
you know Krypto is really and truly dead, And uh,
sometimes your coworkers really do belong as your friends, because
you can have friends who are incompetent at dating, but
you can't date someone who's incompetent at dating. Lesson that
I have refused to learn time and time again. So
it is comforting and lovely to speak to someone who
(24:52):
has learned the lesson and seems to you know, intend
to take action on it. Really um iconic and inspiring behavior.
So thanks a good for this week. You can send
an email to Love Struck Daily at frolic dot media
if you have a love story to share, or you
can send along any questions or thoughts, as well as
following us over on Instagram or Twitter. As for me,
(25:16):
you can find me on those same exact platforms on
Twitter at Jamie loftus Help and Instagram at Jamie christ Superstar.
And while you're at it, you can listen to my
weekly feminist movie podcast on iHeart Radio called The Bechtel Cast,
which I co host with Caitlin Durante. Or you could
(25:37):
listen to my new limited series called Ghost Church about
psychics in Florida. Our researcher on Love Stark Daily is
Jesse Epstein and our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are
produced by Abigail Steckler with Little Scorpion Studios. We are
executive produced by Frolic Media and this is an I
Heeart radio podcast. Okay Elli ai aiall, I'm in love
(26:03):
with yalliiall that ain't love say to you, I've good
see you should love. I'm in love with you. I'm
in love with you.
Are you in the mood to hear some absolute dating disasters, Well,
buckle in, you're in luck, because today we've got a
whole show full of some amazing, cringe worthy tales all
about the search for love. I'm in love with the
(00:29):
I'm in love with you. Hello. My name is Jamie Loftus,
and I'm guest hosting today on Love Struck Daily. So
my whole deal is that I am a comedian and
a podcaster. I'm currently a writer on Star Trek Lower Decks,
(00:51):
and I do a number of podcasts, including my most
recent limited series with I Heart Radio is called Ghost Church,
about the history of an American spiritualism and a bunch
of psychics in Florida. But that's not what we're talking
about today. Today we are talking all about dating disasters. Uh,
something that I personally am uniquely qualified to comment on
(01:13):
because I had sex with someone I met at a
hot dog eating contest this year. So with that in mind,
I think you can take all of my dating advice
very seriously. I'm a very discerning person and all of
my choices make a lot of sense. Speaking of someone
who makes decisions that make a lot of sense, let's
(01:35):
get our guested here today, the one and only, truly
wonderful Charlie Malcolm. I had so much fun talking to him.
Charlie as a composer and lyricist in l A. He's
extremely talented and also has some of the widest variety
of wild dating stories I have heard in some time.
(01:55):
I'm very excited for you to hear what he has
to say about dating apps, worries and i R real
dating stories. Turns out, to nobody's surprise, they're both the worst.
So let's take a listen to our conversation. Hi, Charlie,
how are you? I am great, I am happy to
(02:19):
be here. Oh my gosh. Okay, so just to start,
could you introduce yourself a little? Could you tell me
who you are, what you do? And um, just out
of strict curiosity on my end, what dating applications do
you use? Oh? Lots and lots of info. Okay, I'm
Charlie Malcolm. I'm based in Los Angeles Metro area. I
(02:44):
am currently working as a post production coordinator and okay,
currently I'm only on Tinder, which is a funny story
because I was never on Tinder before, but then after
a particularly bad incident that happened a few weeks ago.
I deleted all my other dating apps, which included Hinge.
(03:06):
I was also on Grinder because I was curious um
and I was also on Tammy. I was on all
the apps. I don't like Bumble though. For some reason
that one just didn't get me, I mean fair enough.
And then like yeah, I just to leave them all
and then I want Someone told me about the Tinder
Swindler the movie, and I watched it and I was like,
you know what, I think I had the worst takeaway
(03:27):
from this movie was that I should get on Tinder now.
But like it was a terrible idea for me to be, like,
at least these people got to go on private jet
and get to be taken out to dinner. I have
so many questions in to fy your experience because I mean,
but I do agree with you exactly get something out
of it at the top at very least. Yes, I mean,
(03:50):
I can tell you this story. This happened a few
weeks ago. It was on Hinge. But you know, I
would say, out of all the dating apps, I would
say just the classiest for my opinion, like it's really
nice you get to like go through look at all
the like, you get to see who likes you for free.
That's nice, and you can see what they like about you.
(04:13):
I don't really I've never really used dating apps. So
every piece of information you're going to give me is
going to be met with um, shock and awe. Oh
this is research. This is I this is horny research
on my part. So you get to see who likes
you and what specifically they liked about your profile. Yes, wow,
big data. Okay, but this one was funny. I might
(04:36):
more or less have an aesthetic, or did at the time. Yes,
I've changed this much in the last couple of weeks
to be like, um, yeah, if you look like a
talk boy, like, I'm okay with that. I just want
you to have like a personality, Like it's a nice aesthetic. Okay,
it is athetic, can be very pleasing. Yeah, it's a
(04:56):
nice esthetic. Like I like, hey, I just don't be
a gym rat. Like if you say I go to
the gym all day every day, I'm like, you're starting
to like slip into this is too much for me.
I don't physically like to exercise, and I feel like
that's not gonna work. You're like, I will not be
joining you there, so best of luck. So wait too,
(05:18):
I mean this guy is a hiker, yes or no,
not a hiker. His profile was really simple, and here
is probably the biggest red flag that I now look
out for everywhere. Sometimes I don't know if this happens
on straight apps, because obviously I'm not straight person, but
sometimes you come across profiles where people don't put their
full name. They just put like a letter, like just
(05:41):
a letter. That's not enough into yeah, I was just
like a letter. And they have like lots of photos,
more than one photos. And usually I'm really good about vetting.
And I said, hey, my name's Davi. Um like, what's
up with you? And I was like, oh, look, this
like hot person actually wants to talk with me. That's nice.
(06:01):
That doesn't happen very often. Let's chat. And then we
started chatting and then he's like, what do you like
to do for fun? I'm like, well, right now, I'm
like reading a lot of books blah bla blah blah.
And he's like, oh, what books are you reading? And
I mentioned about the books and then you talked about
some of the books like he was reading, and I
was like, there's personality this never happens, which honestly should
have been the biggest red flag. And we were just
(06:23):
like having a really good conversation and he was like, yeah,
I'm from Singapore, but I moved to l A like
a few years ago just for more opportunities. I do
like interior design, but I do finance for like my
main work. And I was like, okay, cool, I've always
wanted to date to finance bro. It was on my
checklist of things people to date. Wow, somebody who has
(06:45):
money theoretically, a steady job, personalities to experience. Yeah, you
gotta tip your toe in the someone who has money
pool every once in a while, just to just to remember.
So so then he started talking like basicly me, I mentioned, oh,
like right now, joking, I don't have a lot of
money because I just like paid rent. And this guy's like, oh, well,
(07:08):
do you have like a wealth plan? And I was like, no,
but I have like a four one yeah, like who cares,
Oh my god, finance bro talk, No, not a wealth plan.
He's stressing to be out and then he's like, listen, Charlie,
I think this will be a really great project for you.
I really like you. I think like I really want
to teach you about how to like do the finance stuff.
(07:30):
So I'm gonna like teach you about like just how
to invest in stuff. And I was like, I don't
really want to invest any money. Also, you're a stranger
from the internet. And mind you, every time I match
with somebody, I screenshot their profile and then I go
and try to like find their social media because I
like stalking them because you got to make sure they're
not a murderer. And for some reason, I just couldn't
(07:52):
find him on your social profile. So I started like
trying to move the conversation, being like, well, I just
kind of like want to meet you, Like if you
like me that much, then we should just meet um.
And he's like, okay, I just want to help you
get money first, to like let me teach you about
like cryptocurrency, and I was like, dude, cryptocurrency is doing
(08:12):
so bad right now. I don't want to put money
in cryptocurrenyies. And that was the thing that like tripped
me up a little bit because he was talking about crypto,
Like the way he was talking about Finesses is a
crypto is like he knew what he was talking about
and I could tell, but sure, I'll humor you because
like whatever, he wants to do this project. So he
was teaching me all about this stuff. Mind you. This
(08:34):
was like over the period of like three days, and
then eventually he was like, Charlie, I really like you,
and I don't want to look for any other people
on the dating app, so I'm just letting you know
I'm deleting my Hinge profile. And I was like, okay, cool,
like are we going on a date? Like? And I
(08:56):
went back and I like I noticed his hinch trial
file was going and I was like, this is weird.
So I was like, do you have any other social
media just like tell me a fair question. And he's like, oh,
I don't do social. I don't do social. And I
was like, okay, fine, I do know a lot of
people who don't do really like Instagram or anything. He's like,
I have like a like a WhatsApp and I was like, fine,
let me chat with you on what'sapp if you're more
like communicative there, because we were texting at this point
(09:19):
and I went to What's Happened is What's happen didn't
have a profile picture, um, and I was like, hey,
Davy like you should upload a profile picture um, And
he's like, I don't really want to. I don't like
necessarily think I photographed well. And here's me using my
flirtatious way to try to get information because I'm like,
I was like, do you want to like face time
or like whatever, and he's like, no, I just I
(09:40):
really want to save it for like when we meet
in person, because like I feel like it's like so
un personal. And I was like, yeah, I just I
really wanted to see your face today because it's so handsome,
this is me um. And I was like, you're killing it.
I mean, thank you, thank you. So I was like,
I just I just want to see your smiling face today. Um.
(10:01):
And he's like okay, and then he like sends a
picture in the picture in the picture is not of
(10:23):
the guy from the profile, like not even like remotely
like passable. He just drops the act like he accidentally.
This is my idea is that I think this person
runs multiple cat fishing schemes and since he deleted the
Dinge profile, he forgot which guy he was pretending to be.
(10:46):
But he sends the picture a blond white man god,
and I'm like sir, you're supposed to look like this
person from Singapore. Remember when he's like, Charlie, why don't
you trust me? Like you just send said I got confused.
You said like, send me a picture of like a
smiling face, and I sent you a picture of a
(11:07):
smiling face, and I was like, nah, by apparently on
WhatsApp you can download the conversations and its entirety. And
then I also went back to Hinge and I reported
the profile and being like, this guy's cat fishing. So
now I don't trust any of the letter accounts because
I'm like, I bet that guy just had like one
account for every letter in the alphabet j K, L, M, N, O,
(11:29):
p UM, and he's just probably running them all um.
And I was just like, this is so ridiculous, and
I was like, I'm taking a break from dating. And
then like one week later, I'm like, so I'm on
Tinder now. But I don't know what the takeaway is
from that. I feel like the takeaway of that story
for me is, Wow, crypto is really and truly dead
(11:50):
if this is what the crypto bros Are up to,
um running tier scam. I do have another funny story
that have in like just a week before, where I
received my first ever dick pic unsolicited. Oh, I welcome
to the club. I know. I was that well staged,
no bait. Well, okay, was the photo good? The photo
(12:14):
was good, I will say that. I was like, if
there was nice lighting, the room was not dirty? There was,
although there was like eight photos. I was like, why
are you sending this to strangers unsolicited dick pics? Though
most recently I got I left air drop on an airport.
(12:34):
Of all the places I know I was at it,
I was at an airport in Dallas, minding my own business,
eating a hot dog of all the foods I know,
of all the foods, already having semiphallic experience, and then
out of nowhere. Not that they could have known that
(12:55):
I was the girl eating the hot dog. They were
just said dig their to anyone who had accidentally left
air drop on. But yeah, that was That was earlier
this week at the Dallas airport I did. And it
was also like six in the morning. It was really early.
This is like, this story does not reflect well on me,
(13:15):
because I, like you obviously can't get a hot dog
at the airport at six in the morning. It was
from the previous airport. The night before I had taken
a red eye, wasn't even cold. There was a Lukeward
already having a rough morning, and now I have to
see a first of all, you know, like that no
one should send unsolicited pictures of themselves that like is
(13:37):
like bad in itself, but also horrifically staged, clearly taken
in the airport bathroom. Not only did you not ask
for it, there's no artistry behind it and fluorescent overhead lighting.
Yeah yeah, gussie it up for me. Probably no hygiene either.
Let's be real. But you know I'm but here. I
(13:58):
am reflecting on it with some fondness. Wait, tell me
your last tell me your last dating story. Yes, of course,
of course. So my last hopefully dating disaster story is
that basically I had this. UM, I got fed up
with the dating apps for a while, and I wanted
to you know, I wanted to pull the old fashion.
(14:20):
I wanted to meet somebody in real life, like all
of my friends who are like, you know, coupled up
or married. Um. All their advice was like, yeah, well
I just went to college and I just found I
met them at work or like we just like falling
off and how to real life meet you and I'm like, yeah,
I know, I'm like thanks, thanks so much, so I
(14:43):
was like okay, um, basically post pandemic. I came back
to the office and I ran into an old coworker
who we will be referring to as co worker as
their kind, who I remember that they were gay, and
I was like, listen, as a day person, it's super
annoying to just have to jump through the first hoop
(15:03):
being like, Hi, are you all potentially able to be
attracted to me as I am attracted to you? Great?
Do you actually want to like me? Now? Like that's
the next thing. Um. It was like one of my
old you know, work husbands where we're just like, oh,
we always like flir and the kitchen, And when like
(15:26):
I ran into him again, I was like oh snap,
like oh, like hey, it's been a while, I have
you been. But we had like our own like reignited
like meek you, and I was like I'm bored. I
have literally nothing to lose. I don't actually like work
with this person. It's just somebody that works in my building,
(15:47):
you know, so like potentially avoidable if it hits the
fan kind of thing. Yes, Like basically it was all
like I feel like we're all mature adults, like we
don't actually work together, so it wouldn't be like a
conflict of interest. So basically we were chatting it up
and then I was like coworker, I said, at first,
(16:09):
do you want to go to dinner? And they were like,
oh yeah, I can't tonight, but like let's go on
Friday or whatever. And I was like, okay, great, that's awesome.
It's a date. That's awesome. That's good. You're like yeah, great,
Um Friday comes around, he like cancels. He's like, I'm
so sorry. I forgot a double book my plans. I
was like, okay, that's fine, Like you suck. You should
(16:31):
write things down on your calendar. You're a full fledged
adult at this point. But that's fine. I reserved the right.
Obviously you're going to be paying for some stuff on
this date. And he's like yeah, and we were schedule. Okay.
I love that move on your part. That is excellent.
I love it. Yeah, thank you, thank you. I always
like to to re clarify. I was like, because we're
(16:53):
going on a date, um, and he's like, yeah, okay, great, yeah.
So basically we did that and then finally the date
comes back around. Also, mind you, I have a lot
of people at the office that have been like trying
to ship this coworker and I for a long time.
There was a whole group chat made around it. It
was a thing um and like they were all like, okay,
(17:16):
you have to let us know how it goes. Like okay,
so we finally agree we're going to go to this restaurant. Um.
It's like kind of like an upscale like chain in
l a Um called Grandville. I'm not sure if you're familiar,
it's like, yeah, it's like not uh nice, nice restaurant,
but it's not like a not nice restaurant. It kind
(17:39):
of feels like a step of but like okay, hopefully
this doesn't sound absolutely unhinged, but like I was like,
oh yeah, grand felt like is the logical conclusion to
the cheesecake factory. You're like, it's a classier cheesecake factory. Vibes,
that's that's exactly. Yes. So I guess to the restaurant
and then coworker says like, oh I'm here, and I'm like, boy,
(18:01):
I do not see boy, I do not see you
where are you at? I sent you the address. You
better not tell me this is the dreaded You went
(18:21):
to the wrong restaurant. He went to the wrong restaurant,
So we're off to a bad star. There's multiple he
just went to the one that he thought was closest,
so we're off to already, Like, okay, maybe it's not
really reading into things. He's not like reading the message.
He shows up, he's like, so sorry, okay, we're here.
(18:42):
We're having a great time. Coworker and I are eating
our food, we're chatting. We're just talking about life because
we only really like talk about work stuff and we're
at work. And then I started like getting this vibe
where I was like, okay, so like what's your type? Usually,
like I just started asking about things and the way
(19:02):
that he was talking, He's like, yeah, I'm not like
really like interested in like I'm taking a break from
dating right now, and like I just like I don't
even know if I'll ever actually settled down at all,
like honestly, And the way that he was like talking,
I was like, wait, hold up, are you let me
ask this? But I really hope, I hope you are
you aware that we are currently on a date, sir.
(19:27):
And he's like, wait what And I was like, but
do you have said it multiple times? And I'm like
sitting here and being like a coworker, there is no
possible way that there is a misunderstanding here, sir. And
basically I walked around being like, remember when I said
on this day, when he said we were going on
a date, I thought that was a clue in that
(19:47):
we were going on a date. And he's like, you do.
In retrospect, that does make sense. I did think it
was weird that you said date, but I was like, whatever,
maybe he's just like saying that. And I was like,
I gave you the reason I'm saying these things so
that you the opportunity to correct me and be like, oh,
that's when you say what, that's when you say we're
not just hanging out. So I'm sitting here, I'm like,
(20:08):
I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed pushing this man out
on an iceberg. I can't believe I know. So I'm
like out here onto him. He's like, oh what, and
I'm like I'm so embarrassed. Sorry, Like and then I
was like, now that you're aware, would you like to
consent to actually calling this a date, so I don't
feel like I've just wasted my entire time here. You
don't have to to be clear, but like, would you
(20:29):
like now that you understand things, He's like sure. It's
also like he should have known. The date was great
for the rest of the time, we make out, we
go back to work a see coworker again. I'm all like, hey,
that was so fun, um, do you want to like
try doing another thing, like going on another day? And
and the way that he started like chatting like he's
(20:51):
still like talking to me, but I could just like
I'm a pretty emotionally aware of person. I could just
be like, you're not acting the same, You're being a
little bit distant. And then he's like, yeah, like let
me see. I'm like kind of busy for the next
couple of weeks, so I'll have to see you when
we can do that again, if we can. And I
was like, okay, great, And then after like one day
of that, because I'm like I don't got time for this,
(21:11):
because I already can tell that you're not a good
communicator right and extremely disorganized. I go, coworker, what is
going on? And then like basically I was able to
get out, and he's like, I was like, do you
not want to go on another day? And he's like,
I thought I was clear we didn't go on a date.
And I was like, what in the gas lighting is
(21:33):
happening here? That was not clear when you were making
out with me at the end after I asked you,
And he's like, yeah, I just like felt a little
bit pressured to just like say like it was a
date because they didn't want to upset you. And then
when you asked me to make out, I thought it
was being clear. So I just like I just made
out with you because like I didn't want to hurt
(21:53):
your feelings. And I was like, sir, that is not
a good way to go about things. You're making me
feel like I'm a bad person now, and I'm trying
to literally give you every opportunity to consent. You did
nothing wrong. Like this person's connection to reality tenuous at best,
Like wow, yeah, I'm like I walk away. And the
funny thing is I still see this coworker all the
(22:15):
freaking time, and I still hang out with them, but like,
I just think it's so funny I see them all
the time. For sure. So from the coworker saga, what
was your takeaway that listeners can perhaps take away. I
think the major takeaway from me is that I don't
think it means oh, dating is evil, or that you
(22:37):
shouldn't date co workers, or that you shouldn't do this.
It's just that it's always going to be a compatibility issue.
And I think compatibility doesn't just cut doubt like sexuality.
It comes to how you communicate, how you share your emotions,
and whether people are available to share their emotions or
to be even clear enough to recognize how you want
to define your relationships. And that's how I'm approaching things.
(22:59):
So that's why I'm like in the future, I'm like, yeah, sure,
maybe i'll date another coworker in the future. And I'm
still on the apps. As I mentioned before, I actually
have a date tonight, so we'll see how that goes.
I know right back, but at least it's like I'm
going on a date and I know it's a date,
and that's helpful. Well, thank you so much for coming on, Charlie.
(23:20):
I I totally agree with you, and I think you
communicated every step of the way with your coworker. I
feel like that was a very weird specific thing your team, Charlie.
I'm I mean, I'm thoroughly teamed, Charlie. I don't know
who this man is, but I think he needs to
practice some reading comprehension skills and listening while he's at it.
Where could we uh find you online? Yes? Um, you
(23:45):
can find me on Instagram. I'm mostly active there at
Charlie dot malcolm c R L A M A L
C O L M and that it's also my website.
I happen to do a lot of composing for music,
So if you want to hear any of the songs
based off of my terrible dating experiences, I have several
(24:05):
and you can find them at Charlie Malcolm dot com. Amazing.
Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks so much, Jamie.
Thank you so much again to Charlie Malcolm for coming
on the show this week, and thanks to Love Struck
for having me. In general, I think that everything Charlie
said gave me something to chew on. First of all, uh,
(24:28):
you know Krypto is really and truly dead, And uh,
sometimes your coworkers really do belong as your friends, because
you can have friends who are incompetent at dating, but
you can't date someone who's incompetent at dating. Lesson that
I have refused to learn time and time again. So
it is comforting and lovely to speak to someone who
(24:52):
has learned the lesson and seems to you know, intend
to take action on it. Really um iconic and inspiring behavior.
So thanks a good for this week. You can send
an email to Love Struck Daily at frolic dot media
if you have a love story to share, or you
can send along any questions or thoughts, as well as
following us over on Instagram or Twitter. As for me,
(25:16):
you can find me on those same exact platforms on
Twitter at Jamie loftus Help and Instagram at Jamie christ Superstar.
And while you're at it, you can listen to my
weekly feminist movie podcast on iHeart Radio called The Bechtel Cast,
which I co host with Caitlin Durante. Or you could
(25:37):
listen to my new limited series called Ghost Church about
psychics in Florida. Our researcher on Love Stark Daily is
Jesse Epstein and our editor is Jen Jacobs. We are
produced by Abigail Steckler with Little Scorpion Studios. We are
executive produced by Frolic Media and this is an I
Heeart radio podcast. Okay Elli ai aiall, I'm in love
(26:03):
with yalliiall that ain't love say to you, I've good
see you should love. I'm in love with you. I'm
in love with you.
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