July 13, 2022 • 22 mins
Dating disaster stories make us cringe and laugh and ultimately make us question…How are there so many crazies out there? To help us answer these questions with a slice of comedy, we have stand-up comedian and podcaster Leah Lamarr guest hosting today’s episode. Our guest is bartender and unfortunate-date-collector Grace Holmen, and the two of them share their dates gone wrong – from club makeouts, to closeted men, to being the last girl a guy dates before he gets married. It’s a jungle out there, folks.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What better Catharsis these days than to listen to someone
else's horrible dating disasters? How about a bartender's dating disaster? Yep,
this is Love Struck Daily. I'm in love with that.
(00:26):
I'm in love with you. Hello everyone, it's me Leo Lamar,
your guest host today for Love Struck Daily. If you
don't know me, you probably don't know you know. It's fine.
I get it. If you don't love comedy, you don't
know who I am. And if you love comedy, probably
still don't know who I am. I'm self aware. I'm
a stand up comedian. I have a podcast, Real Time
(00:49):
Crime on I Heart Network. That's a weekly podcast. I
love that podcast with all my passion. It's true crime
with a twist a K. I just kind of like
joke about murders. So if you're sensitive, probably not for you.
I am an ex clubhouse icon and Time Magazine and
Roboto's NMT named me Entertainer of the Year last year.
(01:09):
And I mean I do a lot of stuff. I
do a lot of stuff. I love comedy obviously, it's
my life, my passion. I have to say that because
my agent is listening, and also I am a serial
monogamist in theory but not in practice. I am dying
(01:32):
to get into a long term relationship, but no one
will date me. No. I um, people date me like
I'm cute. I'm like cute for comedy, like I'm the
Natalie Portment of comedy. But in l A I'm like
a four. So I know where I stand. You know,
I really got to get better at comedy. So someone
wants to marry me. But all right, this week on
(01:53):
the podcast, we're talking about dating disasters. And like I said,
I've been single for most of my miserable life, so
I'm uniquely qualified to host this. I will say I've
worked in many weird situations that I've also dated fosses. Oops,
I've dated people who are the opposite of me. You know,
(02:16):
I'm Jewish, I've dated Muslims. Oh, and here we are.
This is bringing us right to our guests today. Let's
just get the energy back up. She is very familiar
with dating mishapps, not only in her own life but
because of her job as a bartender, and I'm so
excited to hear what she's got to share with us today. Guys.
Please welcome Grace Holman. Hello, Grace, Welcome, Hi, welcome to
(02:45):
Love Struck Daily. I'm Leah. It's so nice to meet you.
I'm definitely the regular host for the show, not just
a guest host. And Grace tell us a little bit
about yourself. Cool. So, Um, I'm from Chicago. I'm currently
a full time bartender. I've been doing that for about
(03:06):
four years. And um, I actually grew up in a
pretty conservative Catholic home, so going from that world to
the bartending world was pretty fun. Um. I also am
very creative or like doing a lot of artistic things.
I was studying community art in college, but rather than
going into student debt, I decided to take a little
break from that, and that's how I fell into bartending.
(03:28):
I was just looking for a job and realized that
I really liked it and I'm pretty good at it.
So I've been doing that ever since. All Right, well,
this is amazing news. So I'm sure you have a
ton of insane stories since you worked at a bar
and are still working at a bar, right. Um. I
have some some dating stories from the bartending thing, but
mostly just kind of being this individual just trying to
(03:50):
figure it out all by herself. Like way after you're
supposed to. Like, you know, a lot of people figure
out dating and relationship stuff. You know, they make all
their dumb mistakes and h school or whatever, and me,
I'm like doing it. I'm like, I feel a little
bit behind, but I'm going to catch up real quick here.
You know, that's really relatable because I also was pretty
sheltered in my childhood and teenage years, and I really
(04:13):
just let loose when I left when I flew to
But I was also a bartender, and not only the
things that I experienced personally, but the things that I
witnessed were so insane. That was once working at this
bar in the East Village and the manager of the
bar and one of the cocktail waitresses and then a
(04:34):
patron of the bar had a threesome in the handicap bathroom. Yeah,
and I was just nice, Okay, all right, Yeah, you
know what, I'm not judging. You know, everyone does their
own thing. The only thing I am judging is the
fact that what if someone who has handyhapped had to
go to the bathroom, you know, right, like we gotta
we gotta take things in duc count. Okay, enough about me, Grace,
Let's get started today. So we want to get to
(04:56):
know you a little bit the same way a potential
date would. So, Okay, I know this sounds totally odd,
but why don't we pretend that we're dating you and
we'll try some hinge prompts and it sounds great. I'm
so ready. Yes, okay, so there are a few of them,
but we'll just try. Okay, how about this, what's a
(05:18):
shower thought you recently had? Oh man, I'm gonna okay
for a second, I feel like a shower thought. I
Shower thoughts that usually have are just things I've forgotten
to do, Like I don't generally have strokes of genius
in the shower. It's just like, oh man, I need
to do that. And then as soon as I get
out of the shower, it goes out of my head,
and the next time I'm in the shower, I remember
it again. When I'm in the shower, I'm always imagining
(05:40):
myself as like a hero in a weird situation, like
someone's getting bag snatched and I'm like running after, like
knocking down the thief getting the bag. I don't know
why this is. Um water isn't good for me, I think.
And this is also when scared of the ocean. All right,
another hinge promp, let's try this one something you're weirdly
attracted to. Also, sorry, I had I did drink the
(06:02):
strongest coffee in the world earlier today, So oh no,
you got I've got mine right next to me. So
where else at While we're having a conversation, I've also
strapped myself to the chair to make sure I don't
just like blow out the roof of my apartment building.
My brain is on fire. It's pretty great and terrifying
at the same time. Okay, back to you, Grace. This
isn't like weird, it's super normal. But like, if a
(06:24):
guy has longish hair, I'm immediately like, I'm slightly more
interested than you than anyone else in the room or they. Honestly,
I know some girls have things for like these are
all physical things, like for people have things for hands
or eyes or whatever. I'm like, I need to see
their their shoulders and they're back and yeah, for some
(06:44):
reason I need to see people's back. That's interesting. Okay,
so you you like swimmers with long hair. Um, maybe
I don't know that. That seems like the far end
of what I find weirdly attractive. So what kind of
back are you looking at that you like? I don't,
I don't. I think it's kind of like where you
can see the shoulder blades speaking out just a little
bit and sort of broad shoulders. So like, I guess
(07:06):
maybe kind of a swimmer. Maybe someone who like used
to swim in college and like they haven't for a
couple of years. You know what I'm saying. We're looking
for someone who used to be an athlete but now
as a stoner. Sounds great, Okay, we got we nailed
your type to a t. It's so funny. I went
through a long hair face and I ended up dating
a farmer who was building a shelter completely built off
(07:27):
solar energy in the middle of Virginia. And yeah, and
he was he had animals there, he had guns, like
he was really intense. And he was like, so, when
the apocalypse happens, do you want to be one of
the women who repopulates the earth. And I was like,
I'm good, but just in case, what are the coordinates? Okay,
so all right, let's keep it moving again. I will
(07:49):
make this about me somehow, just so you're clear, I'm
so so this is who I am. Grace, Please love
me for who I am. Okay, so, Grace, can you
tell us a little bit about dating disasters that you've had.
I that you have several stories for sure. Um. The
first one that comes to mind was, I was actually
in a club with one of my friends and we're
(08:13):
just both of us are single at the time, and
we were just they're having a good time, just trying
to you know, have some drinks, stand some dance with
each other. But along the way, this one guy definitely
like became more interested in me, and I am very
aware of when that starts to happen. I also you
when I say used to it meaning I'm currently not
(08:34):
actively looking for anyone in night clubs anymore. But I
used to possess this superpower where I'd walk into a
club and I'd be like that one by the end
of the night, and I would always get their number
or start talking to them or other fun things would happen.
We just kind of started dancing, and at this point
I had probably had like way too many drinks in
my system, and middle of the dance floor, Um, I
(08:55):
just I started making out with this guy and then
I get his number and we go on like a
date or two, and the energy is just not there.
Like he's very he's like very sweet, he's very nice.
But I'm just like, Nope, not quite ready for this.
Fast forward. We're going to fast forward a couple of months.
I go back to the same club with my friend.
This guy is there and I'm like, oh no, so
(09:16):
now I'm playing like keep away with this guy at
this club. And I'm like, oh no, So now I'm
playing like keep away with this guy at this club
(09:37):
and he's definitely aware of that's happening, but it's just
not really working out. And then once again, too too
many cocktails in me. So then my friends like, we
gotta get out of here. You're gonna make a mistake
too late, his numbers in my phone, I start texting
him and I'm like, why don't you come over? And
so then long story short, this guy who I had
met months before, I was living with my parents at
(09:59):
the time. So he comes over and pulls in my
driveway and we hang out in his car for quite
a while in my my parents driveway. And then the
next day I had to text and be like cool,
So that's it. Um, have a nice life. And we're
good from here. Wow, Grace, you know that wasn't there's
you know, there's no judgment here, all right. Okay, So
(10:23):
the moral of the story is don't pick up guys
from clubs. No I I have tried several times, and
you know, oftentimes they're they're one of them, will be nice,
and that's that's kind of it. It's the club that
makes them more attractive than they actually are, or they're
just no, just just stay away, or should we say
it's the dim lighting, the drinks and the music. Oh absolute, Look,
(10:48):
I get it. I've made out with him. I've had
my fair share of club makeouts. I'm not proud of them. Um,
but Grace, we're proud of you. Okay, And do you
have any other dating disaster stories. One dating disaster story
I have is there was this guy who I was
in a group fitness class with when I was in college. Yeah,
(11:10):
he was. He was leading the group. I had been
in this group for a little while and then the
semester change, so the teacher changed and this guy was
really good looking, not exactly my type, but I was like, Okay,
I'm kind of into this, and you know, you're like
in fitness class, so you can like definitely like try
and like show off, like, hey, I'm a strong, independent
woman and like you know, always trying to lift way
(11:33):
more than I'm supposed to, just to like show off
and generally kind of picking up on like some vibes
from him. But I was just towards the end of
the semester nothing, He was not making any moves or
asking me out or anything like that, and I was like,
pretty sure he was interested in me. So I just
decided I am an independent woman. There's nothing wrong with
asking a guy out. So I decided to ask him
(11:55):
out for coffee because he was a senior, is going
to be graduating, and I was like, this is this
is my chance. I'm going to do it. So I
asked this guy out. We go get coffee. Um, except
when we get to the coffee shop, I'm like, what
would you like to order? And he says, well, I
actually don't drink coffee. I hate coffee. I was like, cool,
this guy sounds like a dream. He was such a dream,
such a dream. You know. Also he was graduating um
(12:17):
to then go into the army. So that's a very
specific breed of fitness male. You know, just army guys.
Those are a very specific type of person. I was
gonna say he thought he was interested in you, but
he was really interested in knowing where you got your
Lulu Lemon leggings from. Exactly. That's exactly up. Yeah, is
where this is going. Unfortunately, it's gonna get better than
(12:39):
So we we go get coffee. He awkwardly orders orange juice,
and I'm having coffee. Conversation is not like super going. Well,
I'm like, this is a little bit more uncomfortable than
I was expecting. And then he hits a point in
the conversation where he starts talking about, um, I think
it was like a friend's dad, but that's not super
important to the story. How this person would constantly make
(13:01):
fun of him and tell them that he was gay.
And then he proceeds to spend the rest of our
date telling me all the ways that he's not gay,
and I was just like, dude, I have no qualms
with whatever you are, but just just the fact that
you're going to such lengths to say that you're not
(13:22):
feel like maybe you've got some stuff to possibly figure
out here. Yeah, You're like, dude, I'm not judging you,
but did you pay for the coffees because I gotta go. Yeah.
Not no judgment at all. I was just like, this
is this is an interesting first date conversation because it's
just it's just you telling me that you're not gay
in a hundred different ways. And I'm like, power to you.
Go go to you, man. But I think we're good here.
(13:44):
I think we're good. He's like, I'll do one squad
for every reason I'm not gay, one million, one, one
million to one million three. Like okay, yeah, we got it.
I mean we know why he's going into the army.
There are lots of men there. I was also kind
of like, that's interesting. Yeah, and then I had I've
never heard from him ever again. I was like, cool,
(14:05):
that's that's good. We're good, thank you very much for
the it's coffee orange juice date. Yeah. It's always interesting
when you're the last person a guy dates before they
start dating. Man, this habitually happens to a girlfriend of
mine and we're all like, we're like, baby, you need
to save your posty. We don't know what's going on
with you, but not working for you. I dated this
guy in college once who was so lovely and we
(14:29):
had a really good He was the first like and
I don't like to use this term, but I because
I don't know whatever, but you know how a lot
of people say alpha male or beta male. He was
the first beta guy I've ever dated. So, for those
of you listening here, like, what is that? She's like
some a guy who's very sensitive and in tune with
his emotions and not super macho and manly and like
(14:51):
girl protein shakes, you know, cross fit are you know,
like more of the vegan type. Okay, So so not
an Asshole's what I'm trying to say. Okay, So I
was dating this guy and he was so sweet and
so long. I was like, oh, you know, like this
is so great. Maybe this is the type of guy
I'm into. And he's so in touch with his emotions
and he's so sweet and thoughtful and caring and like,
(15:12):
he's got so many great guy friends. And I started
to slowly question what was going on, and a lot
of his girlfriends would be like, so do you guys
have like how's like, how's it going with you guys?
Everyone was so curious to know if we were having sex,
and I was like, oh, this is so weird. And
(15:33):
then two of his ex girlfriends came up to me
and they were like, you know he's gay, right, and
I was like, no, he's not. We really love each other,
and you know, it appears to be going okay. And
then one night I walked into his bedroom and catch
him jerking off to three men having a threesome porn.
(15:54):
And I was like, okay, uh, you know, is this
like something that just excites you for some reason? Like,
doesn't mean you're gay if you're jerking off to gay porn?
I think, you know. I didn't want to be judgmental,
and he was like, no, no, there's just something about
it that really gets me going. And I was like, yeah, cool,
Um it does like vagina get you going now? And
he was like totally. And then like three days later
(16:15):
we broke up. He shaved his head and um, that
was it. That was it. So you know, who's to
say really if he is was gay straight? By figuring
things out, no judgment zone here, but you know, it's
always interesting when you're like the last person, you're the
last straw. Okay, Grace, do you have any other dating
(16:37):
disasters or dating faux pause? The way you were saying
your friend has a way of um dating people like
right before they figure out they're gay. I feel like
I have a thing for dating men right before they
meet who they're going to marry. And me and my
sister joke about this all the time in a way
that's not actually joking, because it's for real. I think
there's been like six seven paw of the guys have
(17:00):
gone on at least three dates with and then it
just hasn't worked out for normal reasons or like very
not normal reasons. And then the next person they date,
they like get engaged to, and I'm like, what what
is going on here? This is super interesting to me. Um,
So that's like another special superpower for you know, we'll
call it that that I possess, which is super fun.
(17:23):
So does someone always get married basically after they date you?
That happened to me with the guy lost my virginity too.
He moved out of the country five days after we
broke up, back to where he lives. He started immediately
dating a girl who looks just like me with bangs,
and I'll just sis, we don't look good with banks.
And they got married and had a kid pretty much
(17:46):
immediately right after, and I'm like, what is it about me?
I don't know the same thing happens to me, and
to be like totally mean. I usually look at them
and say, that's the Walmart version of me. Yes, yes, okay.
I think most of the guys who have been gone
on to marry somebody like and meet like immediately after
like meeting me or dating me. It's not like long
(18:07):
term relationship is usually just like we've found in three
or four dates and then they find somebody who looks
like me. Um. There was one guy though, who was
Polish and then he went on to then marry a
girl who was a hyder percent Polish. I was like,
you know what, that totally makes sense that I'm Italian
and Irish. I get it. We're good. We're looking for
sometimes people who understand our cultural backgrounds. I get it.
(18:28):
But she does not look like me. So that was
the one time that she didn't. The girl didn't look
like me, and let us say amen, goodbye boys, goodbye. Okay,
So Grace, before we head out for today, we're looking
to kind of give one action item toward improving our
dating lives in the future. I'm gonna I'm gonna give
(18:50):
a couple of action items, and you can tell me
which one you think resonates the most of you. One
not initiating a date with someone who shows no interest. Yes, agree, first,
I agreed. Okay, Okay, that's number one. You know, Um,
we don't need to be brave. We don't need to
(19:10):
be brave. If there's if they're showing no interest, walk away,
my ladies, walk away. Okay. Dating action item number two
if it seems like he's gay, he might be gay. Yes,
that that is true, and that's and that's okay, just
(19:32):
you know, probably not going to work out, okay, and
then maybe another action item one achievable action item. Our
final one for today could just be don't don't shoot
it where you eat. Yep. I would say that it's
probably a good thing too. Like buying the dating world,
it really seems like any time anyone dates where they
(19:55):
are working or working out, it doesn't seem to work out.
And then and then you can't go back to that
gym or that job. Yes, yeah, presents some roadblocks for
your just just regular life in the future. Yeah, just
just date outside your comfort zone. Mm hmm. You'll usually
find more interesting people who have different outlooks on life
(20:18):
will actually help you grow and see things as a
new person if you date outside of those worlds. So yeah,
and these are action items from two unmarried people who
know everything about love perfect I mean totally. That is
why we're doing this right now. And Grace, where can
we find you online? You can find me right now.
I'm just on Instagram and Facebook. But my Facebook I
(20:41):
just basically used to share things going on at the
bar I work at. But my Instagram handle would be
all our case Gracey with a Y g R A
c E Y girl. I hope you find true love
one day. Grace, thanks for coming on. You're welcome And
you can find me Leo Lamar on Instagram at l
e A h l A m as A mary a
(21:04):
r R. That's right to ours on Instagram and Twitter
Lee Lamar dot com and I have my stand up
show dates on my Instagram all the time. And you
can find me on TikTok on le Lamar with five
ours Wi five ours Stop asking questions you don't want
to know. Also you can find me on Real Time
Crime podcast on iHeart Media. I have a weekly show.
(21:24):
And also you know that's all you really need to
know about me that I'm just a cookie fund comedian
who loves crime and also dating. All right, guys, if
you want, please send an email to Lovestruck Daily at
fralic dot Media. If you've got a love story to share,
or if you've got any questions, thought it's a bad
dating story a great dating story. Follow us on Instagram
(21:47):
or Twitter. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein and our editor
is John Jacobs. We're produced by Abigail Steckler with Little
Scorpion Studios. Were executive produced by Frolic Media. This is
an I Heart Radio po podcast. Thanks so much. Stay safe,
love you, I'm in love with you. That ain't love. Lord,
(22:12):
say to you sad, It's got to see you love.
I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you.
We're produced by Apple Apple I'm Broken.
What better Catharsis these days than to listen to someone
else's horrible dating disasters? How about a bartender's dating disaster? Yep,
this is Love Struck Daily. I'm in love with that.
(00:26):
I'm in love with you. Hello everyone, it's me Leo Lamar,
your guest host today for Love Struck Daily. If you
don't know me, you probably don't know you know. It's fine.
I get it. If you don't love comedy, you don't
know who I am. And if you love comedy, probably
still don't know who I am. I'm self aware. I'm
a stand up comedian. I have a podcast, Real Time
(00:49):
Crime on I Heart Network. That's a weekly podcast. I
love that podcast with all my passion. It's true crime
with a twist a K. I just kind of like
joke about murders. So if you're sensitive, probably not for you.
I am an ex clubhouse icon and Time Magazine and
Roboto's NMT named me Entertainer of the Year last year.
(01:09):
And I mean I do a lot of stuff. I
do a lot of stuff. I love comedy obviously, it's
my life, my passion. I have to say that because
my agent is listening, and also I am a serial
monogamist in theory but not in practice. I am dying
(01:32):
to get into a long term relationship, but no one
will date me. No. I um, people date me like
I'm cute. I'm like cute for comedy, like I'm the
Natalie Portment of comedy. But in l A I'm like
a four. So I know where I stand. You know,
I really got to get better at comedy. So someone
wants to marry me. But all right, this week on
(01:53):
the podcast, we're talking about dating disasters. And like I said,
I've been single for most of my miserable life, so
I'm uniquely qualified to host this. I will say I've
worked in many weird situations that I've also dated fosses. Oops,
I've dated people who are the opposite of me. You know,
(02:16):
I'm Jewish, I've dated Muslims. Oh, and here we are.
This is bringing us right to our guests today. Let's
just get the energy back up. She is very familiar
with dating mishapps, not only in her own life but
because of her job as a bartender, and I'm so
excited to hear what she's got to share with us today. Guys.
Please welcome Grace Holman. Hello, Grace, Welcome, Hi, welcome to
(02:45):
Love Struck Daily. I'm Leah. It's so nice to meet you.
I'm definitely the regular host for the show, not just
a guest host. And Grace tell us a little bit
about yourself. Cool. So, Um, I'm from Chicago. I'm currently
a full time bartender. I've been doing that for about
(03:06):
four years. And um, I actually grew up in a
pretty conservative Catholic home, so going from that world to
the bartending world was pretty fun. Um. I also am
very creative or like doing a lot of artistic things.
I was studying community art in college, but rather than
going into student debt, I decided to take a little
break from that, and that's how I fell into bartending.
(03:28):
I was just looking for a job and realized that
I really liked it and I'm pretty good at it.
So I've been doing that ever since. All Right, well,
this is amazing news. So I'm sure you have a
ton of insane stories since you worked at a bar
and are still working at a bar, right. Um. I
have some some dating stories from the bartending thing, but
mostly just kind of being this individual just trying to
(03:50):
figure it out all by herself. Like way after you're
supposed to. Like, you know, a lot of people figure
out dating and relationship stuff. You know, they make all
their dumb mistakes and h school or whatever, and me,
I'm like doing it. I'm like, I feel a little
bit behind, but I'm going to catch up real quick here.
You know, that's really relatable because I also was pretty
sheltered in my childhood and teenage years, and I really
(04:13):
just let loose when I left when I flew to
But I was also a bartender, and not only the
things that I experienced personally, but the things that I
witnessed were so insane. That was once working at this
bar in the East Village and the manager of the
bar and one of the cocktail waitresses and then a
(04:34):
patron of the bar had a threesome in the handicap bathroom. Yeah,
and I was just nice, Okay, all right, Yeah, you
know what, I'm not judging. You know, everyone does their
own thing. The only thing I am judging is the
fact that what if someone who has handyhapped had to
go to the bathroom, you know, right, like we gotta
we gotta take things in duc count. Okay, enough about me, Grace,
Let's get started today. So we want to get to
(04:56):
know you a little bit the same way a potential
date would. So, Okay, I know this sounds totally odd,
but why don't we pretend that we're dating you and
we'll try some hinge prompts and it sounds great. I'm
so ready. Yes, okay, so there are a few of them,
but we'll just try. Okay, how about this, what's a
(05:18):
shower thought you recently had? Oh man, I'm gonna okay
for a second, I feel like a shower thought. I
Shower thoughts that usually have are just things I've forgotten
to do, Like I don't generally have strokes of genius
in the shower. It's just like, oh man, I need
to do that. And then as soon as I get
out of the shower, it goes out of my head,
and the next time I'm in the shower, I remember
it again. When I'm in the shower, I'm always imagining
(05:40):
myself as like a hero in a weird situation, like
someone's getting bag snatched and I'm like running after, like
knocking down the thief getting the bag. I don't know
why this is. Um water isn't good for me, I think.
And this is also when scared of the ocean. All right,
another hinge promp, let's try this one something you're weirdly
attracted to. Also, sorry, I had I did drink the
(06:02):
strongest coffee in the world earlier today, So oh no,
you got I've got mine right next to me. So
where else at While we're having a conversation, I've also
strapped myself to the chair to make sure I don't
just like blow out the roof of my apartment building.
My brain is on fire. It's pretty great and terrifying
at the same time. Okay, back to you, Grace. This
isn't like weird, it's super normal. But like, if a
(06:24):
guy has longish hair, I'm immediately like, I'm slightly more
interested than you than anyone else in the room or they. Honestly,
I know some girls have things for like these are
all physical things, like for people have things for hands
or eyes or whatever. I'm like, I need to see
their their shoulders and they're back and yeah, for some
(06:44):
reason I need to see people's back. That's interesting. Okay,
so you you like swimmers with long hair. Um, maybe
I don't know that. That seems like the far end
of what I find weirdly attractive. So what kind of
back are you looking at that you like? I don't,
I don't. I think it's kind of like where you
can see the shoulder blades speaking out just a little
bit and sort of broad shoulders. So like, I guess
(07:06):
maybe kind of a swimmer. Maybe someone who like used
to swim in college and like they haven't for a
couple of years. You know what I'm saying. We're looking
for someone who used to be an athlete but now
as a stoner. Sounds great, Okay, we got we nailed
your type to a t. It's so funny. I went
through a long hair face and I ended up dating
a farmer who was building a shelter completely built off
(07:27):
solar energy in the middle of Virginia. And yeah, and
he was he had animals there, he had guns, like
he was really intense. And he was like, so, when
the apocalypse happens, do you want to be one of
the women who repopulates the earth. And I was like,
I'm good, but just in case, what are the coordinates? Okay,
so all right, let's keep it moving again. I will
(07:49):
make this about me somehow, just so you're clear, I'm
so so this is who I am. Grace, Please love
me for who I am. Okay, so, Grace, can you
tell us a little bit about dating disasters that you've had.
I that you have several stories for sure. Um. The
first one that comes to mind was, I was actually
in a club with one of my friends and we're
(08:13):
just both of us are single at the time, and
we were just they're having a good time, just trying
to you know, have some drinks, stand some dance with
each other. But along the way, this one guy definitely
like became more interested in me, and I am very
aware of when that starts to happen. I also you
when I say used to it meaning I'm currently not
(08:34):
actively looking for anyone in night clubs anymore. But I
used to possess this superpower where I'd walk into a
club and I'd be like that one by the end
of the night, and I would always get their number
or start talking to them or other fun things would happen.
We just kind of started dancing, and at this point
I had probably had like way too many drinks in
my system, and middle of the dance floor, Um, I
(08:55):
just I started making out with this guy and then
I get his number and we go on like a
date or two, and the energy is just not there.
Like he's very he's like very sweet, he's very nice.
But I'm just like, Nope, not quite ready for this.
Fast forward. We're going to fast forward a couple of months.
I go back to the same club with my friend.
This guy is there and I'm like, oh no, so
(09:16):
now I'm playing like keep away with this guy at
this club. And I'm like, oh no, So now I'm
playing like keep away with this guy at this club
(09:37):
and he's definitely aware of that's happening, but it's just
not really working out. And then once again, too too
many cocktails in me. So then my friends like, we
gotta get out of here. You're gonna make a mistake
too late, his numbers in my phone, I start texting
him and I'm like, why don't you come over? And
so then long story short, this guy who I had
met months before, I was living with my parents at
(09:59):
the time. So he comes over and pulls in my
driveway and we hang out in his car for quite
a while in my my parents driveway. And then the
next day I had to text and be like cool,
So that's it. Um, have a nice life. And we're
good from here. Wow, Grace, you know that wasn't there's
you know, there's no judgment here, all right. Okay, So
(10:23):
the moral of the story is don't pick up guys
from clubs. No I I have tried several times, and
you know, oftentimes they're they're one of them, will be nice,
and that's that's kind of it. It's the club that
makes them more attractive than they actually are, or they're
just no, just just stay away, or should we say
it's the dim lighting, the drinks and the music. Oh absolute, Look,
(10:48):
I get it. I've made out with him. I've had
my fair share of club makeouts. I'm not proud of them. Um,
but Grace, we're proud of you. Okay, And do you
have any other dating disaster stories. One dating disaster story
I have is there was this guy who I was
in a group fitness class with when I was in college. Yeah,
(11:10):
he was. He was leading the group. I had been
in this group for a little while and then the
semester change, so the teacher changed and this guy was
really good looking, not exactly my type, but I was like, Okay,
I'm kind of into this, and you know, you're like
in fitness class, so you can like definitely like try
and like show off, like, hey, I'm a strong, independent
woman and like you know, always trying to lift way
(11:33):
more than I'm supposed to, just to like show off
and generally kind of picking up on like some vibes
from him. But I was just towards the end of
the semester nothing, He was not making any moves or
asking me out or anything like that, and I was like,
pretty sure he was interested in me. So I just
decided I am an independent woman. There's nothing wrong with
asking a guy out. So I decided to ask him
(11:55):
out for coffee because he was a senior, is going
to be graduating, and I was like, this is this
is my chance. I'm going to do it. So I
asked this guy out. We go get coffee. Um, except
when we get to the coffee shop, I'm like, what
would you like to order? And he says, well, I
actually don't drink coffee. I hate coffee. I was like, cool,
this guy sounds like a dream. He was such a dream,
such a dream. You know. Also he was graduating um
(12:17):
to then go into the army. So that's a very
specific breed of fitness male. You know, just army guys.
Those are a very specific type of person. I was
gonna say he thought he was interested in you, but
he was really interested in knowing where you got your
Lulu Lemon leggings from. Exactly. That's exactly up. Yeah, is
where this is going. Unfortunately, it's gonna get better than
(12:39):
So we we go get coffee. He awkwardly orders orange juice,
and I'm having coffee. Conversation is not like super going. Well,
I'm like, this is a little bit more uncomfortable than
I was expecting. And then he hits a point in
the conversation where he starts talking about, um, I think
it was like a friend's dad, but that's not super
important to the story. How this person would constantly make
(13:01):
fun of him and tell them that he was gay.
And then he proceeds to spend the rest of our
date telling me all the ways that he's not gay,
and I was just like, dude, I have no qualms
with whatever you are, but just just the fact that
you're going to such lengths to say that you're not
(13:22):
feel like maybe you've got some stuff to possibly figure
out here. Yeah, You're like, dude, I'm not judging you,
but did you pay for the coffees because I gotta go. Yeah.
Not no judgment at all. I was just like, this
is this is an interesting first date conversation because it's
just it's just you telling me that you're not gay
in a hundred different ways. And I'm like, power to you.
Go go to you, man. But I think we're good here.
(13:44):
I think we're good. He's like, I'll do one squad
for every reason I'm not gay, one million, one, one
million to one million three. Like okay, yeah, we got it.
I mean we know why he's going into the army.
There are lots of men there. I was also kind
of like, that's interesting. Yeah, and then I had I've
never heard from him ever again. I was like, cool,
(14:05):
that's that's good. We're good, thank you very much for
the it's coffee orange juice date. Yeah. It's always interesting
when you're the last person a guy dates before they
start dating. Man, this habitually happens to a girlfriend of
mine and we're all like, we're like, baby, you need
to save your posty. We don't know what's going on
with you, but not working for you. I dated this
guy in college once who was so lovely and we
(14:29):
had a really good He was the first like and
I don't like to use this term, but I because
I don't know whatever, but you know how a lot
of people say alpha male or beta male. He was
the first beta guy I've ever dated. So, for those
of you listening here, like, what is that? She's like
some a guy who's very sensitive and in tune with
his emotions and not super macho and manly and like
(14:51):
girl protein shakes, you know, cross fit are you know,
like more of the vegan type. Okay, So so not
an Asshole's what I'm trying to say. Okay, So I
was dating this guy and he was so sweet and
so long. I was like, oh, you know, like this
is so great. Maybe this is the type of guy
I'm into. And he's so in touch with his emotions
and he's so sweet and thoughtful and caring and like,
(15:12):
he's got so many great guy friends. And I started
to slowly question what was going on, and a lot
of his girlfriends would be like, so do you guys
have like how's like, how's it going with you guys?
Everyone was so curious to know if we were having sex,
and I was like, oh, this is so weird. And
(15:33):
then two of his ex girlfriends came up to me
and they were like, you know he's gay, right, and
I was like, no, he's not. We really love each other,
and you know, it appears to be going okay. And
then one night I walked into his bedroom and catch
him jerking off to three men having a threesome porn.
(15:54):
And I was like, okay, uh, you know, is this
like something that just excites you for some reason? Like,
doesn't mean you're gay if you're jerking off to gay porn?
I think, you know. I didn't want to be judgmental,
and he was like, no, no, there's just something about
it that really gets me going. And I was like, yeah, cool,
Um it does like vagina get you going now? And
he was like totally. And then like three days later
(16:15):
we broke up. He shaved his head and um, that
was it. That was it. So you know, who's to
say really if he is was gay straight? By figuring
things out, no judgment zone here, but you know, it's
always interesting when you're like the last person, you're the
last straw. Okay, Grace, do you have any other dating
(16:37):
disasters or dating faux pause? The way you were saying
your friend has a way of um dating people like
right before they figure out they're gay. I feel like
I have a thing for dating men right before they
meet who they're going to marry. And me and my
sister joke about this all the time in a way
that's not actually joking, because it's for real. I think
there's been like six seven paw of the guys have
(17:00):
gone on at least three dates with and then it
just hasn't worked out for normal reasons or like very
not normal reasons. And then the next person they date,
they like get engaged to, and I'm like, what what
is going on here? This is super interesting to me. Um,
So that's like another special superpower for you know, we'll
call it that that I possess, which is super fun.
(17:23):
So does someone always get married basically after they date you?
That happened to me with the guy lost my virginity too.
He moved out of the country five days after we
broke up, back to where he lives. He started immediately
dating a girl who looks just like me with bangs,
and I'll just sis, we don't look good with banks.
And they got married and had a kid pretty much
(17:46):
immediately right after, and I'm like, what is it about me?
I don't know the same thing happens to me, and
to be like totally mean. I usually look at them
and say, that's the Walmart version of me. Yes, yes, okay.
I think most of the guys who have been gone
on to marry somebody like and meet like immediately after
like meeting me or dating me. It's not like long
(18:07):
term relationship is usually just like we've found in three
or four dates and then they find somebody who looks
like me. Um. There was one guy though, who was
Polish and then he went on to then marry a
girl who was a hyder percent Polish. I was like,
you know what, that totally makes sense that I'm Italian
and Irish. I get it. We're good. We're looking for
sometimes people who understand our cultural backgrounds. I get it.
(18:28):
But she does not look like me. So that was
the one time that she didn't. The girl didn't look
like me, and let us say amen, goodbye boys, goodbye. Okay,
So Grace, before we head out for today, we're looking
to kind of give one action item toward improving our
dating lives in the future. I'm gonna I'm gonna give
(18:50):
a couple of action items, and you can tell me
which one you think resonates the most of you. One
not initiating a date with someone who shows no interest. Yes, agree, first,
I agreed. Okay, Okay, that's number one. You know, Um,
we don't need to be brave. We don't need to
(19:10):
be brave. If there's if they're showing no interest, walk away,
my ladies, walk away. Okay. Dating action item number two
if it seems like he's gay, he might be gay. Yes,
that that is true, and that's and that's okay, just
(19:32):
you know, probably not going to work out, okay, and
then maybe another action item one achievable action item. Our
final one for today could just be don't don't shoot
it where you eat. Yep. I would say that it's
probably a good thing too. Like buying the dating world,
it really seems like any time anyone dates where they
(19:55):
are working or working out, it doesn't seem to work out.
And then and then you can't go back to that
gym or that job. Yes, yeah, presents some roadblocks for
your just just regular life in the future. Yeah, just
just date outside your comfort zone. Mm hmm. You'll usually
find more interesting people who have different outlooks on life
(20:18):
will actually help you grow and see things as a
new person if you date outside of those worlds. So yeah,
and these are action items from two unmarried people who
know everything about love perfect I mean totally. That is
why we're doing this right now. And Grace, where can
we find you online? You can find me right now.
I'm just on Instagram and Facebook. But my Facebook I
(20:41):
just basically used to share things going on at the
bar I work at. But my Instagram handle would be
all our case Gracey with a Y g R A
c E Y girl. I hope you find true love
one day. Grace, thanks for coming on. You're welcome And
you can find me Leo Lamar on Instagram at l
e A h l A m as A mary a
(21:04):
r R. That's right to ours on Instagram and Twitter
Lee Lamar dot com and I have my stand up
show dates on my Instagram all the time. And you
can find me on TikTok on le Lamar with five
ours Wi five ours Stop asking questions you don't want
to know. Also you can find me on Real Time
Crime podcast on iHeart Media. I have a weekly show.
(21:24):
And also you know that's all you really need to
know about me that I'm just a cookie fund comedian
who loves crime and also dating. All right, guys, if
you want, please send an email to Lovestruck Daily at
fralic dot Media. If you've got a love story to share,
or if you've got any questions, thought it's a bad
dating story a great dating story. Follow us on Instagram
(21:47):
or Twitter. Our researcher is Jesse Epstein and our editor
is John Jacobs. We're produced by Abigail Steckler with Little
Scorpion Studios. Were executive produced by Frolic Media. This is
an I Heart Radio po podcast. Thanks so much. Stay safe,
love you, I'm in love with you. That ain't love. Lord,
(22:12):
say to you sad, It's got to see you love.
I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you.
We're produced by Apple Apple I'm Broken.
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