July 31, 2025 • 62 mins
In this episode, Sydnee and Marie chat their weekly MESS. The duo dishes on friendship boundaries, the art of curating a dating profile, and the fine line between flirty and just plain messy. And y'all came in with JUICY MESS this week!
Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at messthepodcast@gmail.com, or call in at (763) 280-6588 to have your MESSages read live on air!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
You're listening to mess I'll tell you one thing. What's
mess girl? Coming here hungry as fuck? I am my
summy is It's like knocking on hello, anybody home? Does
anybody want to eat in this bitch? That's how my
stomach is giving right now. It's like, so, you're just
(00:24):
not gonna have breakfast, You're just not gonna have lunch.
I feel like, for me, what's messy is I don't
really have food in my house right now, and instead
of going grocery shopping, go get something outside. I'm tired
of eating out.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
But cooking is like, what that's mess having to cook
and and that takes up a lot of time.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
It's not a one two three because it's not just cooking.
It's grocery shopping. Then it's meal prepping yep. Then it's cooking.
Then you gotta do.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
The post cooking, you know, dish and wipe the stove down.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
You know what's crazy is that sometimes you cook and
you be doing all the steps, You're taking a little
tip taste here, taking a little taste there. Then when
everything's done, you're like, I'm not even fucking hungry anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm good that's mess.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I've been I've been smelling all the aromas and whatnot,
and that filled me up.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Maybe I just need to smell the food. That's it.
That's all that's me eating right there.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Hm, that pot roast that really did it for me.
I will say, I went to Vegas and that's mess.
It is mess because I just don't understand what's people's
obsession with it. Like you're you're losing money when you
go there, Like when you go on a trip, you
want to feel like you're spending money, but money's not
(01:49):
spending you. Vegas, you walk out and literally every.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Time you go out, your card at least three hundred
dollars at least, because you're getting food, you're doing an activity,
you are getting in an uber, you are talking to somebody.
All of that is money. Somebody tell me you were
every time you were in Vegas, every time you went
outside in Vegas, you spent three hundred dollars. Well, no,
(02:14):
somebody else was with me. Well that's what I was.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I've been in Vegas several times. I don't think I've
ever spent three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That's great, but it felt like collectively three hundred dollars
was leaving somebody's bank account, right, you know, right? Right?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
But yeah, I'm still doing a hard seventy five. I'm
many days in. I'm a quarter finished or like more
than you're like more than you're halfway done.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I'm yeah, halfway done, and I'm over it. I'm ready
to I'm ready to quit, but I can't. What's the positives, like,
what's the pluses so far that you've seen or that
you that you feel? See these guns, bitch, I dare
you to come against me. Girl. I feel strong. I
(03:02):
feel stronger. I funny, but why it was hilarious. Sometimes
I might pop out and sew a nigga, I got
something and that was that was that. Yeah, I definitely
feel my arms have gotten better. I'm working on my
back slide the hair to the side so the people
(03:23):
could see Look, oh look at the bactorial muscle. Yeah, okay,
we're gonna have to do this clip. I have more endurance.
We went, you know, I went hiking. I've been walking.
We've been walking a lot, Marie. Let me tell you,
I'm s out of us. Sydney used to never walk,
never choose to wake up, call a car to get
to the bathroom. That's how little she walked. And now, Miles,
(03:46):
you could never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
ever ever walk. But I was like, no, maybe she won't,
but you do. She could never walk. And oh she's
walked this way, she's walking. I'm making my way downtown.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's beautiful. Actually, I am and iron.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
We walked the Brooklyn Bridge the other night. I know,
we walked the very un sexy bridge. We walked the
men oh Man Hat Bridge. Yeah, that's the Brooklyn Bridge
is like classic and pretty and like you know, brick
and it has like, I don't know, it feels like
you're walking through the Beauty and the beast House. And
then the Williamsburg Bridge is like that, like pink color
(04:31):
or red. It's red.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
It's very long, and a lot of people are on
their bikes. It's tons of bikes, but it's nice.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
The Manhattan Bridge smelly.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
It's giving Lauren order SVU every time we walk. We're like,
it felt like that very dick wolf. Yeah. People were
in little corners and you're like, are they gonna pop
pop off off on us? Yeah? Am I gonna be
hit by a city bike? Yeah? It was a very
scary contemplating jumping. That's how bad.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
But you know what, I will say that the fences
are just high enough that while you're climbing, you're like,
maybe I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Do it, And no they're not.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
They to me, not high enough because I was like,
I can climb this.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I'm this Ramally was like, let me. If I wasn't
a germophobe, I would have touched the fence just to
test it. But you know, no, I don't know if
this is mess But where does your germophobia? Where does
it stem from? I have a mom who's very clean. Yes,
(05:35):
and that's just how I was raised. You know what
I mean? You wash your hands first thing. When you
get into the house, you take your shoes off, then
you go wash your hands. People come into people's homes
or their own houses after touching subway poles, after touching
stuff all day long, after scratching they butts, and then
they just like touch they're in the house stuff. That's nice.
(05:59):
When I touched something, I can kind of that's so
raven see all of the things that have touched it
before me, Like, see I'm touching this now. A million
people said here Mariah Carey sat here he did. Yes,
hey girl, you love y'allgether so that. But also I'm
in my own head about it, like I don't necessarily
(06:21):
even think that my mom is like this OCD about it.
But I don't know this kud kind of comes and
goes to you know, I changed my sheets, I don't know,
every two three weeks.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
So you're not that much of a German phoe. But
I know that you're not. You're not putting your city
slicker jeans on the fucking bed.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh what, I don't think there's ever been a pair
of jeans in my bedroom. If I'm being honest with you,
I mean to be even more honest. I'll stripped my
nikki when I get home.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Well, and then I've been in your home many of
days and nights and you've never stripped but naked for me.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
So oh, you know. I don't want to entice my
gay friend. Absolutely No. I just want you people to
know this is mess like dating friends, ew e friends.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
First No, somebody, Oh, Zach was like, I could see you,
I could see you marrying Marie.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I said, what, I don't see that. I could not.
I was like, first of all, she knows too much
about me, so that already is unattractive for me. The
only way that I can feel comfortable with someone is
that they don't know enough about the allure. You know,
they're like, hmmm, still serious. Even though I talk a lot,
(07:34):
I talk that talk and I run my mouth and
I'm like, you know, I have diarya of the mouth.
But there's still so much that my girlfriend doesn't know
about me. You don't know about me, the people online
don't know about it. I think that we should bring
back mystery. You know, we living in a time where
people are over sharing everything that they do. They're sharing
where they've been, they're sharing what they think.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's like shait this is what Marie did in Morocco
all the time.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah. So that's why I.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Wouldn't want to date a friend is because they know
me and I know them, and that's gross. Knowing someone
takes away the crush. I no longer am crushing on
you because once I can see past the glaze of
like ooh you sexy, I want to touch you and
kiss you and it's like ew, that's how you chew.
(08:31):
That's what you think about?
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Like politics, you didn't vote, Like ugh, yeah, I mean
I get that. But there's two two ways of thinking
about this, right, Like you know, they say you should
date your friends or you should be friends first, not
that you should date your friends, but like before you
become exclusive or like official with somebody, you should be
friends with them before you do that, because then it's like, oh,
(08:54):
we have a good rapport, Oh we got good conversation.
Oh I do like this person. Hey, shout out to
nicol Andrea.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Hey, people need to get these definitions fucking right. What
is a friend? What is an associate? What is somebody
you are currently into? Those are all different people. Okay,
just because you get along with someone and you got
good report, that does not make them a fucking friend.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Okay, Well if I get along with them when we
got good report, we're friends.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
No, and that is that. And just listening to you, Marie,
that's a motherfucking lie, because there's so many people that
you have good report, you don't consider them your friend
for real. You're not calling them, you're not checking up
on them. You wouldn't get them a glass of water,
I would buy them a drink.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Whoa whoa whoa whoa? What would get anybody a glass? What?
Anybody a glass of water. Yes, I could do.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I'm not carrying a cousin's skeeter of water for them, but.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
But I'll get you know whatever, girl, girl Murrie, you
because you're you.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Chat with a lot of people and you're you're very friendly,
and I feel like, because your energy is so spectacular,
I think you could get along with anyone. So you
do have good rapports with people. But I don't think
you would put them in your you know, rolodex as friend.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, I guess that's true. So, yeah, sustained. I'm glad
that I pleaded my case in the corner rasyed the
corner Reasy is a journ Can we talk about this?
So I ordered a table. Yes, you never sent me
the picture, just so you know.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I mean, because it looks a lot like my old table.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
It's just bigger. It's it's My old table was forty
eight inches round. This new table fifty four inches okay round.
When I was thinking about that, I was like, oh,
I should have just gotten I should have gotten an
oval table. Oh let me see. So because it's I'd
rather it's long, but it's too wide. I feel let
me see. I think I could have sex on that table.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Now, that's how big it is and that is hot, okay,
or like.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
On the countertop? Have you done it? I did nice? Nice,
not mess. I mean there's really it's not You're not
going to really be able to tell because it just
looks like my old table.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It is way better. This is nice, but other table
is giving. This one is like ooh, she went to
a bootique. Did she get this imported? This looked flute
in honey, Look at the legs.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
The legs are cute. The legs is nice. This is
very good, no baby, but it is big big. I
can hold a conference there and we should. We need
more meetings on the on the books right now. Anyway,
we do the patreons. This is nice, Marie. It feels
like it's gonna like it. I like it too, but
(11:57):
it's it's kind of large. It's quite large. You know,
what's mess which you know. I need to stop having
these open purses. Those are mess open purses. I need
you brands, we need a zipper. We need all things
to be closed.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Because I'm in my I have my Telfar bag black
one beautiful, the mid size one that I stuff everything
on and is my carry on on top of my
other carry on.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
I'm you know, I.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Got a fan, I got microphone, I got laptop, I
got equipment because I'm on the.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Route again and.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I and you know JFK is also a mess because
this do you know when you get out you used
to be able to get a cap Now, no, mo,
you got to get on a bus, take the.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Shuttle all the way to the pickup zone. Where are
we now? Where are are we in Randall's Island? Where
are we?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So I'm pulling up to this damn shuttle and this
fucking man I know, sir, thank you, thank you. You want
to be helpful.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
He just picks up my saying, oh I got it.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
The bag my ship all in the crack between the
streets and the shuttle, and so my stuff has flown out.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I said, thank god, didn't have my vibrator. Sometimes I
just have my vibrator in the pocket of the.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Of the loose. You don't have it like I throw
my vibrator in with like my like my makeup brushes,
with my tampons. No, I don't do that loose.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Well, sometimes I put it in the suitcase, the actual suitcase,
so that I won't have these issues which I did,
Thank thank God, thank god, because if first of all,
if my if my Doc Johnson hits the concrete john
doctor Johnson.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yes, we got that.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
From an official expert, and I've been hooked ever since.
I don't have my oh baby, when I almost oh,
this is my second one, because I lost one in London.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I'm googling dot com. Right, yeah, didn't you leave it
on the bed? Hold on, let me tell you what happened. Hey,
I know you this is mess. I know that people
are doing their job house keeping. They come in, I'm
not there. Yeah, I'm leaving my vibrator in the bed. So, yes,
you're making the bed.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Put the vibrator back where you found it on the pillow, No, underneath.
Why is my vibrator now on the side of the desk.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Why are you doing that? Now? I know you touched it.
Now the ViBe's off, but you knew they touched it
when they made the bed.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
AnyWho, I'm on Instagram talking about the housekeeping touching my
vibrator and I.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Was like, this is crazy. I can't believe that. M hm.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
So then somebody from the hotel was watching me and
they were like, this is so funny.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
We got you a new vibrator. Oh that one didn't
do it. It didn't do what I needed to be done.
There wasn't so much standard. The London Standard got you
a new vibrant as they did, but it didn't have
enough BTU because I was complaining. I was. I was like, yo,
they just all touching my shit, like come on now,
and you know I didn't. I'm not always watching it. No,
(15:00):
I'm saying it on the record. Did you wash it
when when you got back from the Did you wash
it when you got back to the hotel well after.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I knew it was touched. Yes, But I don't wash
it every time I use it.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You should be washing it every time.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Are you not luping it up? You're not hitting it
with nothing?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
You just dry hold on not sitting on your litter
a minute, Marie. First of all, let me shift my
my hat, Sidney.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
You shifting your clip? You just dry dry using it?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Are you spitting on it? No, Marie, Sometimes I just
use it above, like above the clo above the pant
above the panties.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I don't put it on the actual skin. So I'm like,
it's fine.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Now, why are you just turning it like to a honey.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Oh yeah, no, it's all the way rubbed up. That's crazy. Okay,
that's different. Yeah, yeah for you. It's different for you,
but it's a regular. It's a Monday night for me.
I just feel like, thank you so much. I just
feel like if I had it turned all the way
up and I was doing it over my clothes. Now
(16:09):
I got rug burn on my on my on my joint.
She is a she not gonna give, but she need
a motherfucking so it's a rat. Wow. Well let's talk
about it, please in the comments or in the reviews.
(16:31):
Tell us are you using your clp? I mean, are you?
Are you using your clip? Is the clip being used?
Are you using your clit? Or is your clit using you?
How about that? Questions that need answers.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, but anyway, they got me a new vibrator. It
wasn't it wasn't as good as the DoD Johnson. Do
the DoD Johnson. I stand by that. I would do. Yep,
I would do. I would collab with him because that's
how satisfying it is. It does exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I've used it on other people and they said too much.
He said, no, no, no, we are they wearing panties, You're
wearing boxer briefs. They said, nigga, mind it too much,
too much, too much, too much.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
You're like, damn girl, what what are you going through? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Well, because you do it over your jeans or whatever,
so it's different.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Like you, it's too much. Never mind, I'll say this
for a for a Patreon. Okay, so all my stuff
(17:52):
is outside of the bus.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
It's under the bus, under the bus. I thought he
got everything. He didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
My door facing body foundation gone gone.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Now how much that costs? Like ninety seven dollars gone?
I don't know, but I'm not. I'm not wearing any foundation.
And you don't need it, assume it on those pores. Clear,
I do need it. I do need it because you
know in this like in the summer, you get darker. Sure?
Does this is it? Does your face hit? Does it
some hits your face that it hits up my face?
(18:26):
But I also wear some block every day on my face.
You do you do? You not put some block on
every day? So you have a winter foundation and a
summer foundation. Nah, we use it year around around maybe
because what it is is because this is what I
learned from watching the girlies. You gotta use darker on
(18:47):
the outside, and then you use your concealer to like
lighten up to certain points and then it's almost like
a bronzer. So it's like blended because not everything is
the same color. So you only wear a foundation on
the house. Yeah okay, okay, but in the summer, you're darker,
so it's still gonna be lighter than your skin. But
(19:08):
you also know, I got that, God, I got a unit,
so that's also covering part of the you know, the chance.
But that means you got a tandlin, a wig, tandline.
I do. It's so bad, it's so bad. I like,
I don't even know what to do.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
I don't I'm like, I really do want to get
a big bag because I am indeed going to Turkey.
I do not. I do not give a fuck what
anybody thinks. And I'll come out and I'll have a scarfarm.
I'll be giving you know, you know that would make
a wish foundation. I will come out with the scarf.
(19:45):
You'll be like, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
She ball headed? Yeah? For now? For now, I'm ball headed.
But how long does it take to recover from the
head scalpling surgery three months. Okay, so you got to
plan this out right. You gotta get this done right
before the winter, so that you could be a hat
early for them three months and then pop out in
the spring with a headband pulling it all back.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
But the thing is, is that right you got all
your holiday parties in December? You got you might get
like a random brand deal or like you know, really
good shows that pay well.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
So I won't be able to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I have to do it right before Christmas and then
be out January.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
February is my birthday, Marie. I can't. I can't wear
a hat on your birthday. Will you should be wearing
a hat on your birthday because you like to travel
to sunny places in February and you gotta have a
hat on. Anyway, Marie, will you coming with me to
Turkey when I get my hundred hairline? Can I bring
my sister? Oh? Yeah? Is she getting in the airline? No,
she just wants to go to Turkey. Girl. Yeah, we
(20:52):
want to go eat dinner at that rooftop that has
all the hot air balloons behind you.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I want to go on a hot, hot air balloon.
But then I wanted to do that Brazilian balloon.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I said, actually, I got two feet on the ground,
and I think I'm good off that. I'm good off
hot air balloons and helicopters.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You're good off hot air balloons helicopters. But what about exes.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
I'm good on them too. Yeah, but you're still going
to receive the gifts. I mean, it's the least he
can do, you know. Yeah, I mean if if, hey,
if Marie has dated someone, she is entitled to compensation, absolutely,
because I mean the fact that the hard, no, the
heavy lifting that you have to do in the relationship
(21:40):
in most situations is crazy. It's actually quite insane. I
will say this. So I was in New Orleans and
I was talking to these girls and this girl was like,
I'm trying to find dates and no one is matching
with me on hinge. Like I don't know what happened,
Like what's up?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Like these guys are like scared to talk to me.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I said, let me see your hinge and then we
we a bunch of female comics the collective went through
and we were like that picture gotta go. We need
a full body here. This is too much text. She
had like blocks of texts between her photos, and I said,
men don't want to read that. They can't read. Men
can't read famously. They cannot read. So we revamped to
(22:18):
some things, and we changed some things. I saw her
later the next day. No, no, no, it was that
same night. A few hours later I saw her. She
had eight new matches and she had gotten a phone number.
Was not a business you should I need to be.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I'm like Olivia Pope a Hinge, I.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Mean or or these people live in places where they're
not just they're not really aware, because that feels like
such an easy thing to do when you look at
profiles enough, I.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Feel like men do their profiles in a way that's
kind of like, why would you post that? Who is
that for? It's funny, We don't care about that. Yes,
we need to see what you look like. We need
to see your We need to see your body face,
body face, body, We need to see what you look
like in clothes. We need to see a whisper of
what you look like out of clothes. Right, they can't
(23:11):
all be selfies, they can't all be far away, and
they shouldn't. You shouldn't have no group shots. I'm gonna
say that right there, why is cragging them in this photo?
This is unnecessary. I need to be focused on one friend.
Who are you? And you you? Now you got these
group shots, I'm looking at your hot friend, I'm scrolling
that's not.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Your And then I'm gonna DM you and be like, so,
who's the person on the right that.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Put me in touch with your colleague? That's who I
would like to chat with, And then the yeah, so
this is free game that I'm giving y'all if you're
listening and you're on Hinge or whatever these dating apps,
and then obviously, like the prompts should be like, you know,
fun and like not so serious and like, you know,
if you're somebody who reads a lot and you want
to write a soliloquy, you don't have to trust and
(23:57):
believe that a lot of people are not gonna read
with you rope. Unfortunately, I'm gonna say that dating apps
are mess.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
We need to shut them down, and we need to
start meeting people in person.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
It's it's a thing. It can happen.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
If this person lives in your city, nine times out
of ten, you probably already passed.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Them by and you just weren't interested. Okay, then meeting
people in person or dating people that you meet out
and about, it's not easy if you live in a
city that's not like New York. We're spoiled here.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I come outside, I see something, I like, Hey, I
like your jacket.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Now I have a boyfriend. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Also Marie, you also you, so you are privileged. It's different,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
But like now, every once in a while, I'll get
on an app and a guy will be like, I
love your work. That's a that's a left swipe. I don't.
I don't know you do you work? I mean it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
It's actually unattractive when you get recognized.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah no, no, no, not that.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
It's like you've seen me do what I do and
now you're into me.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
That's and if you were really into me, you would
have came up to me after the show.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Instead, you find me on the app and you're like, hey,
I think you're really funny. I've seen you at the
knitting factory, I've seen you at X y Z. I
gotta say I'm dry. I'm drier than Sydney's vagina with
the with the Duc Johnson. Hey, bitch, that's not true.
It's never dry during those times. It's dry.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Other times, girl, you got your jeans on, it's not dry.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Not wearing jeans and I have anties on.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
I have my savage findy that are very thin, so
it's almost like skin on skin.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Okay, but I'm not putting on dungarees and then using
my vibrator. Dungarees. Word of the day, word of the pot,
messy word today, dungarees. Use it in a sentence. You said, dungarees.
I think dunk rules, and that's where your mind goes.
You're hungry, that's what that is usually you you know,
Trump tump.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
So another thing that is on the docket for me
is I'm really trying to I'm trying to take in
this like self help. It's hard to read it and
and be like, I see where this is supposed to
help me. But I know too much, or maybe I'm
just too jaded. I'm too jaded.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You know too much, so you can't read the words.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I'm jaded because let me tell you, there was a
part on here that I was like, oh, please read
a passage some people have paid you on so they
can follow along. Don't believe Oh I'm reading Chopwood Carrie
Water thanks to Amina Amani's she passed us on It's
the Traveling Sisterhood of books or whatever. Don't believe the myths.
Greatness is far from sexy. It is dirty, hard work,
(26:51):
usually required to be done in the dark when no
one is watching. While your dreams are so far off
they feel like fairy tales. Dream big, start small, be
ridiculously faithful.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Focus on what you can control. M focus on what
you can control. Though it does feel kind of like
common sense, but I think when you're really in it,
you're not thinking about what you can control.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
You're thinking about what you do what's out.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Of your control. Yeah, and that's mess. So you just
kind of started this and you already kind of over it. No,
I'm not over it.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
It's like this book is supposed to be helping me
about falling in love with the process. The problem is
is that I've been through so many fucking processes, so
many different like eras, I'm I'm I'm beat, I'm ready to.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Whipe about Like That's where I'm at right now. Sorry?
What was that sound? And remember when they're when they're
what do you call it?
Speaker 2 (27:53):
When you're surfing, surfing, and you are surfing and then
you get hit with a wave.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
That's a wipe out, wipe out. You never is this
from a video game? I think it's like a movie
or it's like as a sound that's been it's I'm
not wrong. Have you heard of this? But you're not heard? O.
That's like, what is that? Is that? That's from a cartoon?
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Is there a surfing Pixar movie?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Oh? Whie about? Honestly, that's the new word of the pod.
Is that? How here we go? Bitch girl? This seems
like it's from the sixties. Yeah, you saw this on
(28:45):
a black and white color past. You're like, city, how
old are you lying about your a? I'm and it's
I was wrong? Wipe out? Bitch? Why we didn't do
the solo first? This is so fun? I'm screaming yes.
(29:11):
So I'm just trying to learn relearn the like loving
the process because I'm like when we first started comedy,
it was so fun and I wasn't thinking about what's next,
what are we doing? We're just doing it and things
were happening and it was like boom, okay, great at
these different things are moving in the places that I
(29:31):
guess it should be because we're just continuing to do it.
But now I'm so focused on the yo yo, I'm ready,
get me there wherever. The step before the finale is
get me there. You're trying to skip to the end.
Let's get to the good part. I also think you
(29:54):
ought to think about it like this. Right when we started,
we were all around people who also were just starting. Right,
you can see successful people from afar, but that was
far away. Now we're at a level where some of
the people we started with successful as hell. You know,
they got Netflix specials, they do in theaters, they're booking
TV whatevers. And it's like, so we are like a
(30:21):
degree of separation from that, but also a couple of
degrees of separation from the people who just started. And
I have to say that a lot of the people
that we know who are successful complain a lot. So
it's like we working to get to where they at
and they're complaining about where they're at. And it's like,
so when does the let's get to the good part?
(30:43):
Like when, like when are people just good? I think
you accomplish things and then all you can think about
is the rest of the stuff you want to accomplish,
and it's like, can I just enjoy where I'm at
or the process of getting there? It seems like it's
kind of impossible to do that. So, I mean, I
don't know if I want to read a self help
book because I rolled my eyes the whole time I
(31:05):
turned the page.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
You will, you absolutely will, And I'm trying to I'm
really trying to tap in. And the thing is, like,
I mean, for the new listeners, y'all don't know me.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
You don't know me, y'all gotta go all the way
back to like to the York Card, like four chapters ago,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I have genuinely been putting in the work. I'm gonna
put my hands up and say, I've been doing the work.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Sitting you do, do the work, you do, do the work.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
But it's I'm I'm feeling like, all right, I've been
doing this work and yes, things have like changed, and
it's like, okay, cool, cool, cool, But I don't know, man,
I don't know. It's like I was an alcoholic, you
got it, now I got sober.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I've been sober. Okay, yeah, yeah, I was straight. Now
I'm gay. And I went back to get you know,
and now I'm gay again. It's like, who, I'm tired
of finding myself. I'm tired, I'm found, I'm lost and
now I'm found, or just keep me missing. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Yeah, I guess finding yourself can be mess.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Finding yourself is mess, is mess, Yeah, because like I
should already I should already be here, I should already
know me. But you know what that is? It starts
at home. People who feel who I feel like, know
who they are and know what they want to be
when they grow up. They got good foundations at the house.
Their parents like encourage them to try things. We didn't
have encourage us to try things. Parents.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
It was like do what you gotta do, and that's it.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
So it's you know what I'm saying, No, I'm here,
I'm girl, I'm a tear is about to come on
my eye. So when I see like a twenty year
old or like a twenty four year old that like
seems like they got to figure it out, I'm I'm
kind of annoyed at them. It's like a it's like
a privilege. It just know who you are that young.
I don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I don't want to know myself that young, because then
if you know yourself, then you can't make the decisions
that are are messy or like silly or things that
give you character development. So I don't want that. I
just know where I'm at my age all this other shit,
I'm like, I should be closer to where.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Just because you know yourself doesn't mean you won't make mistakes.
The you in your twenties is different than the you
and your thirties. Yeah, and the you and your thirties
is different than you and your all the other agies
that come after that twenty year old is like, yes,
I'm going out, I'm spending money, or I'm not gonna
spend any money tonight. I'm gonna spend somebody else's money.
Like you can still know who you are and do
dumb stuff. Actually that's the better. You know what, do
(33:39):
dumb stuff? Not doing dumb stuff is miss because now
I regret stuff that I didn't do because I'm like,
why not, that's the time to do it. Okay, I
should have done make the list. I should have done more.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
I should pat the list more.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Stays what you haven't done. There was a guy that
was like really really into me when I was like
twenty one, twenty two, and I don't know why I
didn't like him, but but he was like really into
me in a way that was like, even at that
young age, I was like, I'm not into this, like
you doing.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
You don't even know me, you haven't even been in me,
and you let you into.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Me like this. Yes, not into it. And I remember
he was like going to school to be like a
massouf's or something, okay, and he was like, yeah, you
should let me like practice on you sometime, and I
was like no. But now I'm I'm a massage girl.
You know. I like a massage. I try to go
like once a month to get like a really good massage.
The person that was really into me, that was trying
(34:34):
to do his massage schooling, I feel like we could
have had a good time together when I was twenty two.
Maybe I'm saying stuff like that, like dumb stuff like
that that doesn't matter now, like I could have done
more of that. Okay, you know, no, I'm not gonna
say that. Wait tell me, I'm gonna say my friend
tried to rob a liquor store once and uh hmm,
(34:56):
this is this is is this a Frene friend because
this is a French friend. Yeah, it doesn't feel like
my friend was like, yeah, we should steal from this
liquor store and I was like yeah. Then I was
like no, I'm a sit in the car.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
But should have done It could have been a good story.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
No, sis, because then I wouldn't even know you. You'd
be in jail. Yeah, but how long could you possibly
put me in jail for for stealing from a liquor store?
That's true, but it would be on your record. So
would you be able to travel the way you do? Mmmm?
Here it is? Yeah, but none of the places I've
ever been cared if you was a criminal or not.
I'm from America, so you know this is the land
(35:33):
of crime? Did you not know? This is crime city?
So in New Yuck. I can't believe I said I'm
from America. I never say that. No, I'm from New York.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
That's also a mass saying you're American. The mess is
the mess, I will say. This Fourth of July it
was pretty bleak and just a single firecracker. Yeah, the
firecrackers was like, did y'all get this from Party City?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
They would It was not giving I was in Vegas
and I was like, yeah, Macy's wasn't involved, nobody big.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
They had a show in front of like Caesar's Palace
or whatever. Sad, sad, all of it was the Bellagio sad,
like FireWire fireworks.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
It was just it just was like I've seen better
fireworks in Bushwick, right. It just it was giving budget.
It was like, are we proud?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
What's going on? We don't have the money. It just
seemed like all of the patriotism that's going on is
only on Cowboy Carter, Like that's the most I'll see
the American flag being worn in a like oh my,
and they're not even thinking about America. They're like Beyonce
red whiten, Beyonce, listen. I like Beyonce. I enjoy the tour.
(36:48):
I will never put an American flag on my body.
I'm not no, sorry, no, unfortunately, no. I'll wear red,
I'll wear white, I'll wear blue. I went I wear red,
white and blue with the start and no girl. When
Ice come up with here, I was like, no, no, no,
she's a mad at god smack Ice with my passport.
She's America. Let me tell you one thing for certain,
(37:12):
I don't have a lot of strength, but when I
get my strength together, I will be busting heads if
somebody touches you. Listen, Ice, come to get me. I'm
start singing and I'm proud America. So where are you
gonna send me back to Brooklyn? Yes, where's Ice gonna
send me? Welcome to Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I just feel like at this point, Ice is so dumb, because.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
They are how dumb are they? They're pulling up to
any place, like right, like I think last week they
were in Flatbush. Yeah, they were in a flat bush
and I was like, if you think that these Caribbean
people are gonna let you come in and spook them
like that, it's not happening. They're like, my friend, I
am from New York, my twind no, like what yeah, no,
(38:03):
absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Somebody had a good joke about like if they come
in with like Jamaicans or whatever, they're like, nah, you must.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Try my curry. Good. Get them in with the food,
and they're like flatains, just have a plant Patty's. Yeah,
giving them all the food. And you can't give in
for oxtel. Absolutely, yeah, you go in for the immigrants,
you leave with a plate, yes, instead of like they
(38:34):
were at home depot. They're popping in at home depots
all over the country. Go home, ice. They ain't got
no homes.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
That's why they are and that that's really what it is,
These people who I don't want to generalize, but these
police officers generalize, these ice.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Workers, these people who work in government. You hate home,
you hate being home, so you have these jobs that
take over your whole fucking life and you're like, oh,
gotta leave my wife, kids up. Can't come to that
family reunion up, can't can't do this, can't do the
you know I'm serving I'm certain No, you're serving nothing, sir.
(39:10):
You're serving toxicity and a bad attitude. But you also
have to look at who wants to be cops. The
type of people who go into that. It's usually not
good people. The people who are like, yeah, I want
to join the Marines so I could shoot people in
the like.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
It's never good people who trying to do this, you
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
The thing is is that I loved Nintendo sixty four
Double O seven, James Bond, I love that and Marksmanship
baby out of ten. You know, no bars, Never have
I ever been like you know what, I think I
should start getting a real gun and using it.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I was like, I'm not gonna be a private eye.
I'm not gonna be a I'm like, how do you,
for one, want to cost so much havoc that you're like, Oh,
I'm just making sure the citizens are are protected and safe.
I believe in the law. I'm gonna take back what
I just said about only crazy people who want to
kill join these things. But sometimes it's a family thing.
(40:06):
Sometimes it's like, my dad was a was a marshal
in the whatever marshals be at.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
And you do it because you following in your family's footsteps.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Or maybe you really like law and order SVU. I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
You know, it's a mess following in your family's footsteps.
They already did it, bitch, do something else.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Yeah, you your dad is a power.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
Teacher, the nurse. You should be a detective.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
No, hey, your dad was the president working the fucking
d m V. That's where long, that's where you let me.
Let me see who is it. Who's Trump's kids? I
don't even know his kids. I don't care about his kids,
but get them in the d m V.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I don't know they'd be at the DMV, get him
in like a shop right, shop right in, get them
in a towel, pay club plastic neither, bitch, I'm not
paying for it, and people walk out. I would love that.
You would hate for these people to work when we're
real because they would be getting the business.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Yeah, working in retail, that's mess.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, retail is it's so ling both ends, yes, because
now I'm going into places and it's like the people
who are working again. I love Sephora down. But I
walked into the Saphora and they was just congregating, talking
to each other.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
No.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
People were like, no, we don't have it and just
walked away. It was like, so you're not gonna find
me another match, so you're just out. It's about twenty y'all,
y'all in here. You're not gonna try to upsell me.
You're not gonna be like, we don't have this, but
we do have this. I mean, but it used to
be you go into a Saphora and it was like
people who knew.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Makeup, people who knew like had to color match and
da da da da dad, and that it was just
people who like want discounts on makeup. I don't know.
I don't know who works as afore now. But like
years ago, I used to go into this store and
there was this like girl there and she was like, oh,
if you're the same complexion as my mom, let me
show you what I want my mom to do with
her face. And it was like, oh, So then I
(42:20):
just would see this girl. I would pop in there
just so she could do my makeup, just for fun,
and then leave. I don't know what happened to her.
Don't think about mass mac mac cosmetics.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
It will always continuously be the mother of all mothers
because going there, yes, there would be a bit in
an electric blue eye shadow and very thin eyebrow. I
was like, let me do your face, mama, and you're like, hey,
I just need and I just I don't need to.
But she would put you on to the most iconic
gold eye shadow, which is amber lights.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I stand by that. You met me in the amber lights.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I yeah, and you kind of you kind of dragged
me and was like, cis you are you doing?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Shuttle a gold shadow? It don't matter day night, funeral,
you got on a gold you got amber lights on
that branch everywhere every day, it was all of the lights.
But they were going there, they cared.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Yes, they're doing too much, and you probably ought to
go to the bathroom and you know, blot it, blot
your face a little bit. But it was everything you need,
every shade you going this far. It's too much going on.
I don't need all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
But you're also want to remember it's a lot of
celebrities with makeup brands and brand deals, and it's influencers
now that have stuff, and it's like, all of this
is not good. It's not good. You're lying.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
You're lying. We know that you lie. You know what,
Let's just put it on the table. We get offers
for brands all the time. We shut them down. We
shut them down, Marie. We say, actually, that doesn't align
with what I'm giving right now.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Okay, yeah, when when.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
The sinned skincare comes knocking on my door, hey baby,
I'm blessed by God. I can't help these hoes, like.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
I just don't.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I can't sit up here and be like, hey, use
this product, it's gonna make your skin better. I'd already
good out looking this good.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Unfortunately, when people ask me what my skincare routine is,
I can't really help you because it's like I drink
my waters and I have a good good mom, dad skin.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
But you know what, and you kind of don't mind
your business, so that that also my help.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
I drink water and I mind other people's business.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
There it is, that is the secret. Drink water and
mind speak on it.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Drink water and mind their business. Something about being nosy.
It is good for the poorest.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yeah, Yeah, So I went. I went into Sophora's and
you know, if y'all want to y'all want to talk
to me, y'all want to put me inside, let's go.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
But it was just so many of them, and they
were all chatting with each other, and it was a
smaller and so they didn't have Pat McGrath. And I
already know you ain't got Pat Ya ain't got ya,
ain't got Pat McGraph in this basin.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
So y'all not serious, y'all not serious about makeup. Yeah,
but I heard she discontinued her line because I think
she's doing beauty at like Mark Jacobs or something right now,
So you're gonna have to pivot to the Mark Jacobs.
Is that so? Yes?
Speaker 3 (45:19):
I want to say, that's what I heard through the
grape vine, or maybe I read it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
I don't know. I'm not making that up. I did
hear that, though I heard she was discontinuing her life. No,
they told me. They were like, if this is not
at it's not at this Sephora they have.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Well what location were you at? Since were you in
Connectic Kurut?
Speaker 1 (45:36):
No? I was on fifth Avenue. And I don't want
to say too much, but I was on the fifth
Avenue one mm.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
But there's two on that street, so maybe you got
to go to the bigger one.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I've always wanted to stand by the associates, the waiters,
the bartenders, because I once were them, right mm hmm.
But you don't know you're doing bad until somebody's tells you, hey,
you're doing bad. So I think I could only pay
it forward by letting people know, Hey, this was not
(46:07):
good service, this was not Did anybody help you today?
Actually they didn't. They said, oh do you need that? Oh,
we ain't got that, and then they pieced out that
was not good service.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Yeah, where was that the other day? Oh? Today, before
we came to the park, I found this place that
did macha. I walked in extra block and I have
to get there. I get there, I'm like, can I
have an ice matcha latte with oat milk, and can
you put some vanilla in it to, like, you know,
make it sweet? Yeah? And she was like, we don't
do that. We have I said, you don't have anything
to make this sweeter and sexier. It's macha. I need that.
(46:40):
And she was like, we have brown sugar and simple
syrup at the end of the you can add that yourself.
And I said, I don't want it. Yeah, And I
walked out. That's good good.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Uh, you know it's not mess walking out. I'm walking out,
no go way, Yes I will. I am walking away
because why do we keep going to these places giving
them our money, our art earned money, and they're not
really doing.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
What we need them to do. I think a lot
of people don't know this, but I need you to
come in real close. You can just leave, just leave.
I was talking to this girl she did she was
on wire you single, and she said she went on
a date with this dude and they started arguing about geography,
which that's kind of weird. I'm not doing that with you,
she said. She got up, and I feel like she
was going to the bathroom and she left the date.
(47:27):
Good good, she walked out. You don't have to stay.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
You don't have to stay. It's okay, girl. You don't
have to stay on that phone call. You don't have
to stay in that relationship. You ain't got at that job.
You can leave and yeah, you're gonna be like, where
am I going to get the rest of my money?
We'll figure that out lately. But don't but don't stay.
But definitely don't stay.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
I mean, it is a privilege to be able to leave,
like a job or like a whatever that doesn't work
for you, But you can go. I think it's better
to leave before they fire you. We have to go
before they tell us to get the fuck out. Now,
what if I want to get unemployment benefits, I gotta
wait for them to fire me. But that's not that's
(48:14):
not given. Sometimes they'll fire you and then they're like,
they'll deny your unemployment. But I don't think that's a Well,
now it's twenty twenty five, it might be legal to
do that. I have no idea. Are you looking that up?
Are you googling? No? Yeah, no, he's not Murray friend.
Should we read some messages? Oh yes, let's do that.
(48:36):
Let's get clip.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Oh yeah, oh three hundred and six comments.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Yes girl, we're doing it. I love when you guys engage.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Engage, engage, get in arguments, fight for us, be on
our side, do what you need to do.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
We need our messies. Heavy heavy, heavy in the comments.
Someone just sent us a message. A group of iguanas
is called a mess. That's what they call it. Like,
you know, lions have a pride. H A group of
iguanas is called a mess. Really, it's called a miss?
Oh my god, to wait? Should we iganas? Should we
(49:12):
have that as merch like iguanas? Yeah, yeah, we're giving
away iguanas as merch. No, no, no, like on a shirt.
It feels like it was very natural, geographic, but it's
also very niche. But what if we make them like
animation iguanas that have like cute hair and like lashes,
what and nails? You know? I'm like, what, Okay, here's
(49:39):
here's one. Hi, Sydney and Marie.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
I'm a middle aged woman who has been with my
husband for about fifteen years.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
So sorry to hear that, babe. We have a young
child together and things are fine. Ooh I don't like
the way you said fine, except we haven't had sex
in over a year.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
That's crazy, But that's not my mess. I still text
my now married X from twenty years ago on the
regular hour. We've been in touch almost the whole time
we've been broke up, and it's usually mildly flirty stuff.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Nothing X rated. Girl.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
Oh you don't want to be married no more. Everything
remains in the text world. We don't ever meet up. Recently,
he has been suggesting meeting for coffee, but I've always declined,
is this mess or just living? I think it's fine
to have this little side flirtation situation, but I'd be
upset if my husband was doing it. Help girl, I'm
hanging up on you now.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
I'm not in the mood. I mean, it's just text.
You've always declined, what are you asking us? Is it
mess to talk to your ex from twenty years ago?
Sometimes you got to say it out loud.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
I suggest people when you write stuff to us, you
need to read it out loud, and then you'll hear
it and you'll be like, oh, yeah, no, that shit
is fucked up. That's not good, that's bad.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
No, right, Why is it flirty? Like she says, slightly flirty?
What does it? What is slightly flirty? Marie? Can you
give me an example? Every thirteen texts messages, maybe the
fourteenth one you this the smiley face us like this
slightly flirty.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
I'm not like, ooh remember remember the days when you know?
It's not like that.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
It's like he probably sharing pictures of his like kids,
and she's sharing a picture of her cat.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
Like, so, how do you feel comfortable discussing your family,
your married, your husband or whatnot, but then you also
being flirty? That's weird If you're gonna do that, I
would just like act like and nothing is happening in
the background.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
But maybe slightly flirty, maybe on one side, not both sides,
you know what I'm saying, Like, maybe the guy is
saying something that's like kind of flirty and then she
shuts it down or ignores it, Like, you know, Marie,
what's the flirty?
Speaker 2 (51:56):
We need to go We need to go over what
emoji are flirty? When there's no words and they're just
using emochi's that are mass the.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Winking and they're not living, it's flirty. Maybe the tongue
out one could be flirty. The angel one is flirty.
The flirting it's like being a good girls. I'm not
and that means definitely. The little purple Demon one is
is definitely flirting. The one with the one, the blushing ones,
(52:31):
the ones that like it's like kind of like embarrassed
a little bit, that's flirty. There's a couple ones with
their tongues out. All any tongue out, that's that's flirting.
I think the eggplant flirty, flirty. Each could be flirty.
The cowboy one is flirty. How I'm a ride. Yeah.
(52:58):
Sometimes the cat, the cat with the hearts, oh, the
heart eye one's flirty. Yeah. The one where it's like
the hearts around the face can be flirty too, because
it's like you said, you gave me a compliment and
I'm like, stop, you're always doing that. Okay, come on,
Janet Jackson. What about hands? Any hands that are flirty?
(53:20):
Praying hands, bro, What that's not flirting? Look imagine the
prank hands with a penis between.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
Them flirty that No nobody's ever thinking that, but amen.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
But it.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
If someone's talking, it's like, oh, can't wait to see you.
And then the prayer hands is like praying that I
see that's flirty.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
Okay, so you said you admit the prank hands can
be flawing.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
I don't know how you got me on that one.
That's crazy. What else? The eyes? All of the eyes
when you do eyes, when you're like looking, just looking. No,
that's not flirty, because that's probably one of my most
used emoji.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
It's flirty because I'm like, who all over there? Yeah,
but that's with a friend. But if i'm if we're
not friends and I'm showing you eyes, I'm just I'm like,
I'm trying to see something. But what that mouth?
Speaker 1 (54:06):
I mean, if you really think about it, Sydney, any
of the emojis can be flirty if you really break
it down. I don't think so any of the emojis.
Let's let me go through the ones that I use.
There's a baby that's an angel, that's not flirty.
Speaker 3 (54:18):
That's like our baby is in heaven looking down at us.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
That's not flirty. Friend, Yeah girl, the the open mouth flirty?
Wait this one?
Speaker 2 (54:29):
Wait, let me see that one. No, that's bitch. Now
you really reaching. I'm telling you all of them could
be flirty. This one that's like shaking, like the earthquake.
The emoji that's flirting as well.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
That now, what is that exactly? You're about to rock
my world? Oh, it's like the y'all can make the merrround.
Every emoji can be flirting. The zipper one, the exhale one,
the and it's like you got this much time before
I sit on it? It's stop. Okay, wait.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
This is the one that I really think is a
is a flirty one. The one that the girl's raising
her hand. It's like, who wants sex tonight?
Speaker 1 (55:19):
It wants to go to the Four Seasons me? You
know what's not flirty? The glasses with the mustache that
the Eugene Levy one. No, it's not flirting. But also
you know what the hand the getting her nails painted,
that's flirting.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
Yeah, because it's like send me the money for my jellex.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
Or no, it's like period boo, I'm on my period
sula period. You know, it's not flirting. The one that's
like like like what about the ones that's like twins,
that's not flirting. That's like friendship. Yeah, that's friendship. I
use it for friendship? Is this flirting? The one I
(55:57):
look like this? No, what does that mean capeche The
one in a wheelchair is flirting. Definitely. After I'm done
with you, you're gonna be on wheels. Baby, we're gonna
have to rule you out. You know what they say,
once you go black, you're gonna need a wheelchair. That's
(56:18):
from white chicks. Wow, this has been a phenomenal episode.
I think we I think we provided for the people.
The zombies are not flirting, or they could be the solos.
The zombie ones mean you're not gonna get no sleep.
You're gonna be walking like a dead body. If I
send pants, that means take those off.
Speaker 3 (56:37):
In those jeans.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
All right, wait, let me just read a message before
we wrap this thing up. Okay, yeah, all right here boom,
you're ready for the message. Yes, hey, ladies, I didn't
mean to be that loud. I got mess here by
way of my sister, but I got permission. My sister
was dating a guy for two years and thought he
was the one, but found out he has been engaged
(57:01):
with someone else during that time. The engaged woman even
called my sister to spilit all absolutely crazy. Fast forward
to a year later, my sister did some stalking, can't
blame her, and found out that guy was dating another
woman who is in his fiance. She felt like she
needed to tell the women of this habitual cheater. My
sister found her work email and message about this guy.
(57:22):
She doesn't believe my sister, but my sister is adamant
about helping this lady.
Speaker 3 (57:27):
Does she need to sign the alarms or let it
be thanks a messica?
Speaker 1 (57:31):
Hey, let me tell you.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
I want to support all women, but I can't because
some of them bitches is dumb there. It is like,
I definitely feel like there's some instances where I'm like,
she gonna find out anyway. Why am I got to
bring the horse to the water.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Bring the horror to the water. Oom? And this is
why you do what you do? You are so good?
Hmm te Wait is it? How do you do the heart?
Speaker 3 (58:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (58:04):
You do this?
Speaker 3 (58:05):
You make me so mad, my favorite heart?
Speaker 1 (58:07):
Yeah? Over this. Oh no, I don't even do that.
I do this. This is cud her. Yeah, this is
the millennial lineal heart. Yeah, I think you tell one woman.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
You did your job trying to tell all the women
unless you're building a case against this guy.
Speaker 3 (58:22):
But she's not trying to tell all the women. Somebody
told her so.
Speaker 1 (58:26):
Now, she's trying to tell the next chick, and the
next chick don't believe her. Sometimes you can't say, oh
you're it, pass it on like no, I've been told
this other one knows.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
So both of us need to get out this man life.
And then he's stuck with this one girl who obviously
is gone.
Speaker 1 (58:41):
But it's sick girl. It's two girls, his fiance, I
guess his wife now and this new chick. Now. If
I'm saying, hey, sis, come into you as a woman
and you're already ignoring me, then whatever happens at the
next usus that's true.
Speaker 3 (58:55):
Does she need to sound the alarms or let it be,
let it be, let it.
Speaker 1 (58:59):
Go, let it go, let it go. Elsa hit with that.
She ate, she really ate. She drank. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (59:09):
I don't know how people are cheating and lying in
this economy. It sounds expensive to have that many women,
and that's why.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
We're moving forward with ass For the most.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
Some of y'all are just being too cool and you're like, oh, yeah,
you know, we could go to the diner to eat. No,
you gotta go to the steakhouse every time you need
to order MP market price. Run these tabs up, so
these men can't have more other women.
Speaker 1 (59:42):
You're taking it too like, oh, we're going to the
corner store. We being frugal. No, we're going to per se. Yes,
I want a thousand dollars per person. He gon cheat,
he can't be cheap. Write it down, write it down.
We're on fire today, baby. That being said, a lot
of people who cheat are cheap. So yep, pick pick
(01:00:02):
what you feel like you deserve. But if you're gonna cheat, oh,
trust me, that tab is up all the way up.
Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
We ordering top shelf. We're not ordering well, no, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
You're talking about I'm not getting I don't even know her.
We don't know. No, I don't know that. Let me
get that Johnny Worker blue. And then when we come out,
I don't link it. It's nasty, and you know you can't.
You can't give that back. If he's cheating, order a
bottle for the table, for a for the table, Get
the other table next to your bottle as well. He
put it on ice. Put the two little wine things
(01:00:32):
of ice next to each other.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
If he's in the hotel, right, y'all get a hotel together.
And he leaves room service, room service, order everything, get
to everything, find.
Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
About two of everything, but definitely get one for you
and maybe you can.
Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
Share with him. I'll get to everything he left. You're
gonna need something to go, baby, and then block that number.
Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Block it. I think we get great advice to it.
Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
Honestly, I'm helping you with your hinge and we helping
you with your cheating.
Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Oh there it is. Don't say that we've never done
anything for the Miss Strange anyway. Continue to send us things, yes,
and keep leaving reviews.
Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Leave all of the route. I want more reviews. I'm
gonna say every episode because I'll.
Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Be looking at these other podcasts and I'm like, two
thousand reviews. We're not that far. Yeah, we're actually not
that far. I'm not far from two thousands, but I
would like to get there. You get the twenty twenty five, Hey,
I would love that. Okay, guys later, Gators. Bye. Mess
with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production by
(01:01:37):
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast created and
hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced by
Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos
edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
If you would like your messages read on air, please
email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or
call for your messages to be played at seven six
three two eight zero six five eight eight
You're listening to mess I'll tell you one thing. What's
mess girl? Coming here hungry as fuck? I am my
summy is It's like knocking on hello, anybody home? Does
anybody want to eat in this bitch? That's how my
stomach is giving right now. It's like, so, you're just
(00:24):
not gonna have breakfast, You're just not gonna have lunch.
I feel like, for me, what's messy is I don't
really have food in my house right now, and instead
of going grocery shopping, go get something outside. I'm tired
of eating out.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
But cooking is like, what that's mess having to cook
and and that takes up a lot of time.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
It's not a one two three because it's not just cooking.
It's grocery shopping. Then it's meal prepping yep. Then it's cooking.
Then you gotta do.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
The post cooking, you know, dish and wipe the stove down.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
You know what's crazy is that sometimes you cook and
you be doing all the steps, You're taking a little
tip taste here, taking a little taste there. Then when
everything's done, you're like, I'm not even fucking hungry anymore.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm good that's mess.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I've been I've been smelling all the aromas and whatnot,
and that filled me up.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Maybe I just need to smell the food. That's it.
That's all that's me eating right there.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Hm, that pot roast that really did it for me.
I will say, I went to Vegas and that's mess.
It is mess because I just don't understand what's people's
obsession with it. Like you're you're losing money when you
go there, Like when you go on a trip, you
want to feel like you're spending money, but money's not
(01:49):
spending you. Vegas, you walk out and literally every.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
Time you go out, your card at least three hundred
dollars at least, because you're getting food, you're doing an activity,
you are getting in an uber, you are talking to somebody.
All of that is money. Somebody tell me you were
every time you were in Vegas, every time you went
outside in Vegas, you spent three hundred dollars. Well, no,
(02:14):
somebody else was with me. Well that's what I was.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I've been in Vegas several times. I don't think I've
ever spent three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That's great, but it felt like collectively three hundred dollars
was leaving somebody's bank account, right, you know, right? Right?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
But yeah, I'm still doing a hard seventy five. I'm
many days in. I'm a quarter finished or like more
than you're like more than you're halfway done.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I'm yeah, halfway done, and I'm over it. I'm ready
to I'm ready to quit, but I can't. What's the positives, like,
what's the pluses so far that you've seen or that
you that you feel? See these guns, bitch, I dare
you to come against me. Girl. I feel strong. I
(03:02):
feel stronger. I funny, but why it was hilarious. Sometimes
I might pop out and sew a nigga, I got
something and that was that was that. Yeah, I definitely
feel my arms have gotten better. I'm working on my
back slide the hair to the side so the people
(03:23):
could see Look, oh look at the bactorial muscle. Yeah, okay,
we're gonna have to do this clip. I have more endurance.
We went, you know, I went hiking. I've been walking.
We've been walking a lot, Marie. Let me tell you,
I'm s out of us. Sydney used to never walk,
never choose to wake up, call a car to get
to the bathroom. That's how little she walked. And now, Miles,
(03:46):
you could never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever
ever ever walk. But I was like, no, maybe she won't,
but you do. She could never walk. And oh she's
walked this way, she's walking. I'm making my way downtown.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
It's beautiful. Actually, I am and iron.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
We walked the Brooklyn Bridge the other night. I know,
we walked the very un sexy bridge. We walked the
men oh Man Hat Bridge. Yeah, that's the Brooklyn Bridge
is like classic and pretty and like you know, brick
and it has like, I don't know, it feels like
you're walking through the Beauty and the beast House. And
then the Williamsburg Bridge is like that, like pink color
(04:31):
or red. It's red.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
It's very long, and a lot of people are on
their bikes. It's tons of bikes, but it's nice.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
The Manhattan Bridge smelly.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
It's giving Lauren order SVU every time we walk. We're like,
it felt like that very dick wolf. Yeah. People were
in little corners and you're like, are they gonna pop
pop off off on us? Yeah? Am I gonna be
hit by a city bike? Yeah? It was a very
scary contemplating jumping. That's how bad.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
But you know what, I will say that the fences
are just high enough that while you're climbing, you're like,
maybe I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Do it, And no they're not.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
They to me, not high enough because I was like,
I can climb this.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I'm this Ramally was like, let me. If I wasn't
a germophobe, I would have touched the fence just to
test it. But you know, no, I don't know if
this is mess But where does your germophobia? Where does
it stem from? I have a mom who's very clean. Yes,
(05:35):
and that's just how I was raised. You know what
I mean? You wash your hands first thing. When you
get into the house, you take your shoes off, then
you go wash your hands. People come into people's homes
or their own houses after touching subway poles, after touching
stuff all day long, after scratching they butts, and then
they just like touch they're in the house stuff. That's nice.
(05:59):
When I touched something, I can kind of that's so
raven see all of the things that have touched it
before me, Like, see I'm touching this now. A million
people said here Mariah Carey sat here he did. Yes,
hey girl, you love y'allgether so that. But also I'm
in my own head about it, like I don't necessarily
(06:21):
even think that my mom is like this OCD about it.
But I don't know this kud kind of comes and
goes to you know, I changed my sheets, I don't know,
every two three weeks.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
So you're not that much of a German phoe. But
I know that you're not. You're not putting your city
slicker jeans on the fucking bed.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Oh what, I don't think there's ever been a pair
of jeans in my bedroom. If I'm being honest with you,
I mean to be even more honest. I'll stripped my
nikki when I get home.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Well, and then I've been in your home many of
days and nights and you've never stripped but naked for me.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
So oh, you know. I don't want to entice my
gay friend. Absolutely No. I just want you people to
know this is mess like dating friends, ew e friends.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
First No, somebody, Oh, Zach was like, I could see you,
I could see you marrying Marie.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I said, what, I don't see that. I could not.
I was like, first of all, she knows too much
about me, so that already is unattractive for me. The
only way that I can feel comfortable with someone is
that they don't know enough about the allure. You know,
they're like, hmmm, still serious. Even though I talk a lot,
(07:34):
I talk that talk and I run my mouth and
I'm like, you know, I have diarya of the mouth.
But there's still so much that my girlfriend doesn't know
about me. You don't know about me, the people online
don't know about it. I think that we should bring
back mystery. You know, we living in a time where
people are over sharing everything that they do. They're sharing
where they've been, they're sharing what they think.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
It's like shait this is what Marie did in Morocco
all the time.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah. So that's why I.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Wouldn't want to date a friend is because they know
me and I know them, and that's gross. Knowing someone
takes away the crush. I no longer am crushing on
you because once I can see past the glaze of
like ooh you sexy, I want to touch you and
kiss you and it's like ew, that's how you chew.
(08:31):
That's what you think about?
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Like politics, you didn't vote, Like ugh, yeah, I mean
I get that. But there's two two ways of thinking
about this, right, Like you know, they say you should
date your friends or you should be friends first, not
that you should date your friends, but like before you
become exclusive or like official with somebody, you should be
friends with them before you do that, because then it's like, oh,
(08:54):
we have a good rapport, Oh we got good conversation.
Oh I do like this person. Hey, shout out to
nicol Andrea.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Hey, people need to get these definitions fucking right. What
is a friend? What is an associate? What is somebody
you are currently into? Those are all different people. Okay,
just because you get along with someone and you got
good report, that does not make them a fucking friend.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Okay, Well if I get along with them when we
got good report, we're friends.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
No, and that is that. And just listening to you, Marie,
that's a motherfucking lie, because there's so many people that
you have good report, you don't consider them your friend
for real. You're not calling them, you're not checking up
on them. You wouldn't get them a glass of water,
I would buy them a drink.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Whoa whoa whoa whoa? What would get anybody a glass? What?
Anybody a glass of water. Yes, I could do.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I'm not carrying a cousin's skeeter of water for them, but.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
But I'll get you know whatever, girl, girl Murrie, you
because you're you.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Chat with a lot of people and you're you're very friendly,
and I feel like, because your energy is so spectacular,
I think you could get along with anyone. So you
do have good rapports with people. But I don't think
you would put them in your you know, rolodex as friend.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Yeah, I guess that's true. So, yeah, sustained. I'm glad
that I pleaded my case in the corner rasyed the
corner Reasy is a journ Can we talk about this?
So I ordered a table. Yes, you never sent me
the picture, just so you know.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
I mean, because it looks a lot like my old table.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
It's just bigger. It's it's My old table was forty
eight inches round. This new table fifty four inches okay round.
When I was thinking about that, I was like, oh,
I should have just gotten I should have gotten an
oval table. Oh let me see. So because it's I'd
rather it's long, but it's too wide. I feel let
me see. I think I could have sex on that table.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Now, that's how big it is and that is hot, okay,
or like.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
On the countertop? Have you done it? I did nice? Nice,
not mess. I mean there's really it's not You're not
going to really be able to tell because it just
looks like my old table.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It is way better. This is nice, but other table
is giving. This one is like ooh, she went to
a bootique. Did she get this imported? This looked flute
in honey, Look at the legs.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
The legs are cute. The legs is nice. This is
very good, no baby, but it is big big. I
can hold a conference there and we should. We need
more meetings on the on the books right now. Anyway,
we do the patreons. This is nice, Marie. It feels
like it's gonna like it. I like it too, but
(11:57):
it's it's kind of large. It's quite large. You know,
what's mess which you know. I need to stop having
these open purses. Those are mess open purses. I need
you brands, we need a zipper. We need all things
to be closed.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Because I'm in my I have my Telfar bag black
one beautiful, the mid size one that I stuff everything
on and is my carry on on top of my
other carry on.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
I'm you know, I.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Got a fan, I got microphone, I got laptop, I
got equipment because I'm on the.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Route again and.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
I and you know JFK is also a mess because
this do you know when you get out you used
to be able to get a cap Now, no, mo,
you got to get on a bus, take the.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Shuttle all the way to the pickup zone. Where are
we now? Where are are we in Randall's Island? Where
are we?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
So I'm pulling up to this damn shuttle and this
fucking man I know, sir, thank you, thank you. You want
to be helpful.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
He just picks up my saying, oh I got it.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
The bag my ship all in the crack between the
streets and the shuttle, and so my stuff has flown out.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I said, thank god, didn't have my vibrator. Sometimes I
just have my vibrator in the pocket of the.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Of the loose. You don't have it like I throw
my vibrator in with like my like my makeup brushes,
with my tampons. No, I don't do that loose.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Well, sometimes I put it in the suitcase, the actual suitcase,
so that I won't have these issues which I did,
Thank thank God, thank god, because if first of all,
if my if my Doc Johnson hits the concrete john
doctor Johnson.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yes, we got that.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
From an official expert, and I've been hooked ever since.
I don't have my oh baby, when I almost oh,
this is my second one, because I lost one in London.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I'm googling dot com. Right, yeah, didn't you leave it
on the bed? Hold on, let me tell you what happened. Hey,
I know you this is mess. I know that people
are doing their job house keeping. They come in, I'm
not there. Yeah, I'm leaving my vibrator in the bed. So, yes,
you're making the bed.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Put the vibrator back where you found it on the pillow, No, underneath.
Why is my vibrator now on the side of the desk.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Why are you doing that? Now? I know you touched it.
Now the ViBe's off, but you knew they touched it
when they made the bed.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
AnyWho, I'm on Instagram talking about the housekeeping touching my
vibrator and I.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Was like, this is crazy. I can't believe that. M hm.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
So then somebody from the hotel was watching me and
they were like, this is so funny.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
We got you a new vibrator. Oh that one didn't
do it. It didn't do what I needed to be done.
There wasn't so much standard. The London Standard got you
a new vibrant as they did, but it didn't have
enough BTU because I was complaining. I was. I was like, yo,
they just all touching my shit, like come on now,
and you know I didn't. I'm not always watching it. No,
(15:00):
I'm saying it on the record. Did you wash it
when when you got back from the Did you wash
it when you got back to the hotel well after.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I knew it was touched. Yes, But I don't wash
it every time I use it.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
You should be washing it every time.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Are you not luping it up? You're not hitting it
with nothing?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
You just dry hold on not sitting on your litter
a minute, Marie. First of all, let me shift my
my hat, Sidney.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
You shifting your clip? You just dry dry using it?
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Are you spitting on it? No, Marie, Sometimes I just
use it above, like above the clo above the pant
above the panties.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I don't put it on the actual skin. So I'm like,
it's fine.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Now, why are you just turning it like to a honey.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Oh yeah, no, it's all the way rubbed up. That's crazy. Okay,
that's different. Yeah, yeah for you. It's different for you,
but it's a regular. It's a Monday night for me.
I just feel like, thank you so much. I just
feel like if I had it turned all the way
up and I was doing it over my clothes. Now
(16:09):
I got rug burn on my on my on my joint.
She is a she not gonna give, but she need
a motherfucking so it's a rat. Wow. Well let's talk
about it, please in the comments or in the reviews.
(16:31):
Tell us are you using your clp? I mean, are you?
Are you using your clip? Is the clip being used?
Are you using your clit? Or is your clit using you?
How about that? Questions that need answers.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
Yeah, but anyway, they got me a new vibrator. It
wasn't it wasn't as good as the DoD Johnson. Do
the DoD Johnson. I stand by that. I would do. Yep,
I would do. I would collab with him because that's
how satisfying it is. It does exactly.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Now.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
I've used it on other people and they said too much.
He said, no, no, no, we are they wearing panties, You're
wearing boxer briefs. They said, nigga, mind it too much,
too much, too much, too much.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
You're like, damn girl, what what are you going through? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (17:23):
Well, because you do it over your jeans or whatever,
so it's different.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Like you, it's too much. Never mind, I'll say this
for a for a Patreon. Okay, so all my stuff
(17:52):
is outside of the bus.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
It's under the bus, under the bus. I thought he
got everything. He didn't.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
My door facing body foundation gone gone.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Now how much that costs? Like ninety seven dollars gone?
I don't know, but I'm not. I'm not wearing any foundation.
And you don't need it, assume it on those pores. Clear,
I do need it. I do need it because you
know in this like in the summer, you get darker. Sure?
Does this is it? Does your face hit? Does it
some hits your face that it hits up my face?
(18:26):
But I also wear some block every day on my face.
You do you do? You not put some block on
every day? So you have a winter foundation and a
summer foundation. Nah, we use it year around around maybe
because what it is is because this is what I
learned from watching the girlies. You gotta use darker on
(18:47):
the outside, and then you use your concealer to like
lighten up to certain points and then it's almost like
a bronzer. So it's like blended because not everything is
the same color. So you only wear a foundation on
the house. Yeah okay, okay, but in the summer, you're darker,
so it's still gonna be lighter than your skin. But
(19:08):
you also know, I got that, God, I got a unit,
so that's also covering part of the you know, the chance.
But that means you got a tandlin, a wig, tandline.
I do. It's so bad, it's so bad. I like,
I don't even know what to do.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
I don't I'm like, I really do want to get
a big bag because I am indeed going to Turkey.
I do not. I do not give a fuck what
anybody thinks. And I'll come out and I'll have a scarfarm.
I'll be giving you know, you know that would make
a wish foundation. I will come out with the scarf.
(19:45):
You'll be like, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
She ball headed? Yeah? For now? For now, I'm ball headed.
But how long does it take to recover from the
head scalpling surgery three months. Okay, so you got to
plan this out right. You gotta get this done right
before the winter, so that you could be a hat
early for them three months and then pop out in
the spring with a headband pulling it all back.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
But the thing is, is that right you got all
your holiday parties in December? You got you might get
like a random brand deal or like you know, really
good shows that pay well.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
So I won't be able to do it.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
I have to do it right before Christmas and then
be out January.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
February is my birthday, Marie. I can't. I can't wear
a hat on your birthday. Will you should be wearing
a hat on your birthday because you like to travel
to sunny places in February and you gotta have a
hat on. Anyway, Marie, will you coming with me to
Turkey when I get my hundred hairline? Can I bring
my sister? Oh? Yeah? Is she getting in the airline? No,
she just wants to go to Turkey. Girl. Yeah, we
(20:52):
want to go eat dinner at that rooftop that has
all the hot air balloons behind you.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I want to go on a hot, hot air balloon.
But then I wanted to do that Brazilian balloon.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
I said, actually, I got two feet on the ground,
and I think I'm good off that. I'm good off
hot air balloons and helicopters.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You're good off hot air balloons helicopters. But what about exes.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
I'm good on them too. Yeah, but you're still going
to receive the gifts. I mean, it's the least he
can do, you know. Yeah, I mean if if, hey,
if Marie has dated someone, she is entitled to compensation, absolutely,
because I mean the fact that the hard, no, the
heavy lifting that you have to do in the relationship
(21:40):
in most situations is crazy. It's actually quite insane. I
will say this. So I was in New Orleans and
I was talking to these girls and this girl was like,
I'm trying to find dates and no one is matching
with me on hinge. Like I don't know what happened,
Like what's up?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Like these guys are like scared to talk to me.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I said, let me see your hinge and then we
we a bunch of female comics the collective went through
and we were like that picture gotta go. We need
a full body here. This is too much text. She
had like blocks of texts between her photos, and I said,
men don't want to read that. They can't read. Men
can't read famously. They cannot read. So we revamped to
(22:18):
some things, and we changed some things. I saw her
later the next day. No, no, no, it was that
same night. A few hours later I saw her. She
had eight new matches and she had gotten a phone number.
Was not a business you should I need to be.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
I'm like Olivia Pope a Hinge, I.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Mean or or these people live in places where they're
not just they're not really aware, because that feels like
such an easy thing to do when you look at
profiles enough, I.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Feel like men do their profiles in a way that's
kind of like, why would you post that? Who is
that for? It's funny, We don't care about that. Yes,
we need to see what you look like. We need
to see your We need to see your body face,
body face, body, We need to see what you look
like in clothes. We need to see a whisper of
what you look like out of clothes. Right, they can't
(23:11):
all be selfies, they can't all be far away, and
they shouldn't. You shouldn't have no group shots. I'm gonna
say that right there, why is cragging them in this photo?
This is unnecessary. I need to be focused on one friend.
Who are you? And you you? Now you got these
group shots, I'm looking at your hot friend, I'm scrolling
that's not.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Your And then I'm gonna DM you and be like, so,
who's the person on the right that.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Put me in touch with your colleague? That's who I
would like to chat with, And then the yeah, so
this is free game that I'm giving y'all if you're
listening and you're on Hinge or whatever these dating apps,
and then obviously, like the prompts should be like, you know,
fun and like not so serious and like, you know,
if you're somebody who reads a lot and you want
to write a soliloquy, you don't have to trust and
(23:57):
believe that a lot of people are not gonna read
with you rope. Unfortunately, I'm gonna say that dating apps
are mess.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
We need to shut them down, and we need to
start meeting people in person.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
It's it's a thing. It can happen.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
If this person lives in your city, nine times out
of ten, you probably already passed.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Them by and you just weren't interested. Okay, then meeting
people in person or dating people that you meet out
and about, it's not easy if you live in a
city that's not like New York. We're spoiled here.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
I come outside, I see something, I like, Hey, I
like your jacket.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Now I have a boyfriend. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Also Marie, you also you, so you are privileged. It's different,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
But like now, every once in a while, I'll get
on an app and a guy will be like, I
love your work. That's a that's a left swipe. I don't.
I don't know you do you work? I mean it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
It's actually unattractive when you get recognized.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah no, no, no, not that.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
It's like you've seen me do what I do and
now you're into me.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
That's and if you were really into me, you would
have came up to me after the show.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Instead, you find me on the app and you're like, hey,
I think you're really funny. I've seen you at the
knitting factory, I've seen you at X y Z. I
gotta say I'm dry. I'm drier than Sydney's vagina with
the with the Duc Johnson. Hey, bitch, that's not true.
It's never dry during those times. It's dry.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Other times, girl, you got your jeans on, it's not dry.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Not wearing jeans and I have anties on.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
I have my savage findy that are very thin, so
it's almost like skin on skin.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Okay, but I'm not putting on dungarees and then using
my vibrator. Dungarees. Word of the day, word of the pot,
messy word today, dungarees. Use it in a sentence. You said, dungarees.
I think dunk rules, and that's where your mind goes.
You're hungry, that's what that is usually you you know,
Trump tump.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
So another thing that is on the docket for me
is I'm really trying to I'm trying to take in
this like self help. It's hard to read it and
and be like, I see where this is supposed to
help me. But I know too much, or maybe I'm
just too jaded. I'm too jaded.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You know too much, so you can't read the words.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
I'm jaded because let me tell you, there was a
part on here that I was like, oh, please read
a passage some people have paid you on so they
can follow along. Don't believe Oh I'm reading Chopwood Carrie
Water thanks to Amina Amani's she passed us on It's
the Traveling Sisterhood of books or whatever. Don't believe the myths.
Greatness is far from sexy. It is dirty, hard work,
(26:51):
usually required to be done in the dark when no
one is watching. While your dreams are so far off
they feel like fairy tales. Dream big, start small, be
ridiculously faithful.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Focus on what you can control. M focus on what
you can control. Though it does feel kind of like
common sense, but I think when you're really in it,
you're not thinking about what you can control.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
You're thinking about what you do what's out.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Of your control. Yeah, and that's mess. So you just
kind of started this and you already kind of over it. No,
I'm not over it.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
It's like this book is supposed to be helping me
about falling in love with the process. The problem is
is that I've been through so many fucking processes, so
many different like eras, I'm I'm I'm beat, I'm ready to.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Whipe about Like That's where I'm at right now. Sorry?
What was that sound? And remember when they're when they're
what do you call it?
Speaker 2 (27:53):
When you're surfing, surfing, and you are surfing and then
you get hit with a wave.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
That's a wipe out, wipe out. You never is this
from a video game? I think it's like a movie
or it's like as a sound that's been it's I'm
not wrong. Have you heard of this? But you're not heard? O.
That's like, what is that? Is that? That's from a cartoon?
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Is there a surfing Pixar movie?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Oh? Whie about? Honestly, that's the new word of the pod.
Is that? How here we go? Bitch girl? This seems
like it's from the sixties. Yeah, you saw this on
(28:45):
a black and white color past. You're like, city, how
old are you lying about your a? I'm and it's
I was wrong? Wipe out? Bitch? Why we didn't do
the solo first? This is so fun? I'm screaming yes.
(29:11):
So I'm just trying to learn relearn the like loving
the process because I'm like when we first started comedy,
it was so fun and I wasn't thinking about what's next,
what are we doing? We're just doing it and things
were happening and it was like boom, okay, great at
these different things are moving in the places that I
(29:31):
guess it should be because we're just continuing to do it.
But now I'm so focused on the yo yo, I'm ready,
get me there wherever. The step before the finale is
get me there. You're trying to skip to the end.
Let's get to the good part. I also think you
(29:54):
ought to think about it like this. Right when we started,
we were all around people who also were just starting. Right,
you can see successful people from afar, but that was
far away. Now we're at a level where some of
the people we started with successful as hell. You know,
they got Netflix specials, they do in theaters, they're booking
TV whatevers. And it's like, so we are like a
(30:21):
degree of separation from that, but also a couple of
degrees of separation from the people who just started. And
I have to say that a lot of the people
that we know who are successful complain a lot. So
it's like we working to get to where they at
and they're complaining about where they're at. And it's like,
so when does the let's get to the good part?
(30:43):
Like when, like when are people just good? I think
you accomplish things and then all you can think about
is the rest of the stuff you want to accomplish,
and it's like, can I just enjoy where I'm at
or the process of getting there? It seems like it's
kind of impossible to do that. So, I mean, I
don't know if I want to read a self help
book because I rolled my eyes the whole time I
(31:05):
turned the page.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
You will, you absolutely will, And I'm trying to I'm
really trying to tap in. And the thing is, like,
I mean, for the new listeners, y'all don't know me.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
You don't know me, y'all gotta go all the way
back to like to the York Card, like four chapters ago,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
I have genuinely been putting in the work. I'm gonna
put my hands up and say, I've been doing the work.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Sitting you do, do the work, you do, do the work.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
But it's I'm I'm feeling like, all right, I've been
doing this work and yes, things have like changed, and
it's like, okay, cool, cool, cool, But I don't know, man,
I don't know. It's like I was an alcoholic, you
got it, now I got sober.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I've been sober. Okay, yeah, yeah, I was straight. Now
I'm gay. And I went back to get you know,
and now I'm gay again. It's like, who, I'm tired
of finding myself. I'm tired, I'm found, I'm lost and
now I'm found, or just keep me missing. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Yeah, I guess finding yourself can be mess.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Finding yourself is mess, is mess, Yeah, because like I
should already I should already be here, I should already
know me. But you know what that is? It starts
at home. People who feel who I feel like, know
who they are and know what they want to be
when they grow up. They got good foundations at the house.
Their parents like encourage them to try things. We didn't
have encourage us to try things. Parents.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
It was like do what you gotta do, and that's it.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
So it's you know what I'm saying, No, I'm here,
I'm girl, I'm a tear is about to come on
my eye. So when I see like a twenty year
old or like a twenty four year old that like
seems like they got to figure it out, I'm I'm
kind of annoyed at them. It's like a it's like
a privilege. It just know who you are that young.
I don't want to know.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I don't want to know myself that young, because then
if you know yourself, then you can't make the decisions
that are are messy or like silly or things that
give you character development. So I don't want that. I
just know where I'm at my age all this other shit,
I'm like, I should be closer to where.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Just because you know yourself doesn't mean you won't make mistakes.
The you in your twenties is different than the you
and your thirties. Yeah, and the you and your thirties
is different than you and your all the other agies
that come after that twenty year old is like, yes,
I'm going out, I'm spending money, or I'm not gonna
spend any money tonight. I'm gonna spend somebody else's money.
Like you can still know who you are and do
dumb stuff. Actually that's the better. You know what, do
(33:39):
dumb stuff? Not doing dumb stuff is miss because now
I regret stuff that I didn't do because I'm like,
why not, that's the time to do it. Okay, I
should have done make the list. I should have done more.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
I should pat the list more.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Stays what you haven't done. There was a guy that
was like really really into me when I was like
twenty one, twenty two, and I don't know why I
didn't like him, but but he was like really into
me in a way that was like, even at that
young age, I was like, I'm not into this, like
you doing.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
You don't even know me, you haven't even been in me,
and you let you into.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Me like this. Yes, not into it. And I remember
he was like going to school to be like a
massouf's or something, okay, and he was like, yeah, you
should let me like practice on you sometime, and I
was like no. But now I'm I'm a massage girl.
You know. I like a massage. I try to go
like once a month to get like a really good massage.
The person that was really into me, that was trying
(34:34):
to do his massage schooling, I feel like we could
have had a good time together when I was twenty two.
Maybe I'm saying stuff like that, like dumb stuff like
that that doesn't matter now, like I could have done
more of that. Okay, you know, no, I'm not gonna
say that. Wait tell me, I'm gonna say my friend
tried to rob a liquor store once and uh hmm,
(34:56):
this is this is is this a Frene friend because
this is a French friend. Yeah, it doesn't feel like
my friend was like, yeah, we should steal from this
liquor store and I was like yeah. Then I was
like no, I'm a sit in the car.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
But should have done It could have been a good story.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
No, sis, because then I wouldn't even know you. You'd
be in jail. Yeah, but how long could you possibly
put me in jail for for stealing from a liquor store?
That's true, but it would be on your record. So
would you be able to travel the way you do? Mmmm?
Here it is? Yeah, but none of the places I've
ever been cared if you was a criminal or not.
I'm from America, so you know this is the land
(35:33):
of crime? Did you not know? This is crime city?
So in New Yuck. I can't believe I said I'm
from America. I never say that. No, I'm from New York.
Speaker 2 (35:45):
That's also a mass saying you're American. The mess is
the mess, I will say. This Fourth of July it
was pretty bleak and just a single firecracker. Yeah, the
firecrackers was like, did y'all get this from Party City?
Speaker 1 (35:59):
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (35:59):
They would It was not giving I was in Vegas
and I was like, yeah, Macy's wasn't involved, nobody big.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
They had a show in front of like Caesar's Palace
or whatever. Sad, sad, all of it was the Bellagio sad,
like FireWire fireworks.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
It was just it just was like I've seen better
fireworks in Bushwick, right. It just it was giving budget.
It was like, are we proud?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
What's going on? We don't have the money. It just
seemed like all of the patriotism that's going on is
only on Cowboy Carter, Like that's the most I'll see
the American flag being worn in a like oh my,
and they're not even thinking about America. They're like Beyonce
red whiten, Beyonce, listen. I like Beyonce. I enjoy the tour.
(36:48):
I will never put an American flag on my body.
I'm not no, sorry, no, unfortunately, no. I'll wear red,
I'll wear white, I'll wear blue. I went I wear red,
white and blue with the start and no girl. When
Ice come up with here, I was like, no, no, no,
she's a mad at god smack Ice with my passport.
She's America. Let me tell you one thing for certain,
(37:12):
I don't have a lot of strength, but when I
get my strength together, I will be busting heads if
somebody touches you. Listen, Ice, come to get me. I'm
start singing and I'm proud America. So where are you
gonna send me back to Brooklyn? Yes, where's Ice gonna
send me? Welcome to Brooklyn.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I just feel like at this point, Ice is so dumb, because.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
They are how dumb are they? They're pulling up to
any place, like right, like I think last week they
were in Flatbush. Yeah, they were in a flat bush
and I was like, if you think that these Caribbean
people are gonna let you come in and spook them
like that, it's not happening. They're like, my friend, I
am from New York, my twind no, like what yeah, no,
(38:03):
absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Somebody had a good joke about like if they come
in with like Jamaicans or whatever, they're like, nah, you must.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Try my curry. Good. Get them in with the food,
and they're like flatains, just have a plant Patty's. Yeah,
giving them all the food. And you can't give in
for oxtel. Absolutely, yeah, you go in for the immigrants,
you leave with a plate, yes, instead of like they
(38:34):
were at home depot. They're popping in at home depots
all over the country. Go home, ice. They ain't got
no homes.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
That's why they are and that that's really what it is,
These people who I don't want to generalize, but these
police officers generalize, these ice.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Workers, these people who work in government. You hate home,
you hate being home, so you have these jobs that
take over your whole fucking life and you're like, oh,
gotta leave my wife, kids up. Can't come to that
family reunion up, can't can't do this, can't do the
you know I'm serving I'm certain No, you're serving nothing, sir.
(39:10):
You're serving toxicity and a bad attitude. But you also
have to look at who wants to be cops. The
type of people who go into that. It's usually not
good people. The people who are like, yeah, I want
to join the Marines so I could shoot people in
the like.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
It's never good people who trying to do this, you
know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
The thing is is that I loved Nintendo sixty four
Double O seven, James Bond, I love that and Marksmanship
baby out of ten. You know, no bars, Never have
I ever been like you know what, I think I
should start getting a real gun and using it.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I was like, I'm not gonna be a private eye.
I'm not gonna be a I'm like, how do you,
for one, want to cost so much havoc that you're like, Oh,
I'm just making sure the citizens are are protected and safe.
I believe in the law. I'm gonna take back what
I just said about only crazy people who want to
kill join these things. But sometimes it's a family thing.
(40:06):
Sometimes it's like, my dad was a was a marshal
in the whatever marshals be at.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
And you do it because you following in your family's footsteps.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
Or maybe you really like law and order SVU. I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
You know, it's a mess following in your family's footsteps.
They already did it, bitch, do something else.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
Yeah, you your dad is a power.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
Teacher, the nurse. You should be a detective.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
No, hey, your dad was the president working the fucking
d m V. That's where long, that's where you let me.
Let me see who is it. Who's Trump's kids? I
don't even know his kids. I don't care about his kids,
but get them in the d m V.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
I don't know they'd be at the DMV, get him
in like a shop right, shop right in, get them
in a towel, pay club plastic neither, bitch, I'm not
paying for it, and people walk out. I would love that.
You would hate for these people to work when we're
real because they would be getting the business.
Speaker 3 (41:24):
Yeah, working in retail, that's mess.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, retail is it's so ling both ends, yes, because
now I'm going into places and it's like the people
who are working again. I love Sephora down. But I
walked into the Saphora and they was just congregating, talking
to each other.
Speaker 1 (41:42):
No.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
People were like, no, we don't have it and just
walked away. It was like, so you're not gonna find
me another match, so you're just out. It's about twenty y'all,
y'all in here. You're not gonna try to upsell me.
You're not gonna be like, we don't have this, but
we do have this. I mean, but it used to
be you go into a Saphora and it was like
people who knew.
Speaker 1 (41:59):
Makeup, people who knew like had to color match and
da da da da dad, and that it was just
people who like want discounts on makeup. I don't know.
I don't know who works as afore now. But like
years ago, I used to go into this store and
there was this like girl there and she was like, oh,
if you're the same complexion as my mom, let me
show you what I want my mom to do with
her face. And it was like, oh, So then I
(42:20):
just would see this girl. I would pop in there
just so she could do my makeup, just for fun,
and then leave. I don't know what happened to her.
Don't think about mass mac mac cosmetics.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
It will always continuously be the mother of all mothers
because going there, yes, there would be a bit in
an electric blue eye shadow and very thin eyebrow. I
was like, let me do your face, mama, and you're like, hey,
I just need and I just I don't need to.
But she would put you on to the most iconic
gold eye shadow, which is amber lights.
Speaker 1 (42:55):
I stand by that. You met me in the amber lights.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I yeah, and you kind of you kind of dragged
me and was like, cis you are you doing?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Shuttle a gold shadow? It don't matter day night, funeral,
you got on a gold you got amber lights on
that branch everywhere every day, it was all of the lights.
But they were going there, they cared.
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Yes, they're doing too much, and you probably ought to
go to the bathroom and you know, blot it, blot
your face a little bit. But it was everything you need,
every shade you going this far. It's too much going on.
I don't need all this stuff.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
But you're also want to remember it's a lot of
celebrities with makeup brands and brand deals, and it's influencers
now that have stuff, and it's like, all of this
is not good. It's not good. You're lying.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
You're lying. We know that you lie. You know what,
Let's just put it on the table. We get offers
for brands all the time. We shut them down. We
shut them down, Marie. We say, actually, that doesn't align
with what I'm giving right now.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
Okay, yeah, when when.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
The sinned skincare comes knocking on my door, hey baby,
I'm blessed by God. I can't help these hoes, like.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
I just don't.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
I can't sit up here and be like, hey, use
this product, it's gonna make your skin better. I'd already
good out looking this good.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Unfortunately, when people ask me what my skincare routine is,
I can't really help you because it's like I drink
my waters and I have a good good mom, dad skin.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
But you know what, and you kind of don't mind
your business, so that that also my help.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
I drink water and I mind other people's business.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
There it is, that is the secret. Drink water and
mind speak on it.
Speaker 3 (44:38):
Drink water and mind their business. Something about being nosy.
It is good for the poorest.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Yeah, Yeah, So I went. I went into Sophora's and
you know, if y'all want to y'all want to talk
to me, y'all want to put me inside, let's go.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
But it was just so many of them, and they
were all chatting with each other, and it was a
smaller and so they didn't have Pat McGrath. And I
already know you ain't got Pat Ya ain't got ya,
ain't got Pat McGraph in this basin.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
So y'all not serious, y'all not serious about makeup. Yeah,
but I heard she discontinued her line because I think
she's doing beauty at like Mark Jacobs or something right now,
So you're gonna have to pivot to the Mark Jacobs.
Is that so? Yes?
Speaker 3 (45:19):
I want to say, that's what I heard through the
grape vine, or maybe I read it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (45:22):
I don't know. I'm not making that up. I did
hear that, though I heard she was discontinuing her life. No,
they told me. They were like, if this is not
at it's not at this Sephora they have.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Well what location were you at? Since were you in
Connectic Kurut?
Speaker 1 (45:36):
No? I was on fifth Avenue. And I don't want
to say too much, but I was on the fifth
Avenue one mm.
Speaker 3 (45:42):
But there's two on that street, so maybe you got
to go to the bigger one.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
You know.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
I've always wanted to stand by the associates, the waiters,
the bartenders, because I once were them, right mm hmm.
But you don't know you're doing bad until somebody's tells you, hey,
you're doing bad. So I think I could only pay
it forward by letting people know, Hey, this was not
(46:07):
good service, this was not Did anybody help you today?
Actually they didn't. They said, oh do you need that? Oh,
we ain't got that, and then they pieced out that
was not good service.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Yeah, where was that the other day? Oh? Today, before
we came to the park, I found this place that
did macha. I walked in extra block and I have
to get there. I get there, I'm like, can I
have an ice matcha latte with oat milk, and can
you put some vanilla in it to, like, you know,
make it sweet? Yeah? And she was like, we don't
do that. We have I said, you don't have anything
to make this sweeter and sexier. It's macha. I need that.
(46:40):
And she was like, we have brown sugar and simple
syrup at the end of the you can add that yourself.
And I said, I don't want it. Yeah, And I
walked out. That's good good.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
Uh, you know it's not mess walking out. I'm walking out,
no go way, Yes I will. I am walking away
because why do we keep going to these places giving
them our money, our art earned money, and they're not
really doing.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
What we need them to do. I think a lot
of people don't know this, but I need you to
come in real close. You can just leave, just leave.
I was talking to this girl she did she was
on wire you single, and she said she went on
a date with this dude and they started arguing about geography,
which that's kind of weird. I'm not doing that with you,
she said. She got up, and I feel like she
was going to the bathroom and she left the date.
(47:27):
Good good, she walked out. You don't have to stay.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
You don't have to stay. It's okay, girl. You don't
have to stay on that phone call. You don't have
to stay in that relationship. You ain't got at that job.
You can leave and yeah, you're gonna be like, where
am I going to get the rest of my money?
We'll figure that out lately. But don't but don't stay.
But definitely don't stay.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
I mean, it is a privilege to be able to leave,
like a job or like a whatever that doesn't work
for you, But you can go. I think it's better
to leave before they fire you. We have to go
before they tell us to get the fuck out. Now,
what if I want to get unemployment benefits, I gotta
wait for them to fire me. But that's not that's
(48:14):
not given. Sometimes they'll fire you and then they're like,
they'll deny your unemployment. But I don't think that's a Well,
now it's twenty twenty five, it might be legal to
do that. I have no idea. Are you looking that up?
Are you googling? No? Yeah, no, he's not Murray friend.
Should we read some messages? Oh yes, let's do that.
(48:36):
Let's get clip.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Oh yeah, oh three hundred and six comments.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
Yes girl, we're doing it. I love when you guys engage.
Speaker 2 (48:45):
Engage, engage, get in arguments, fight for us, be on
our side, do what you need to do.
Speaker 1 (48:51):
We need our messies. Heavy heavy, heavy in the comments.
Someone just sent us a message. A group of iguanas
is called a mess. That's what they call it. Like,
you know, lions have a pride. H A group of
iguanas is called a mess. Really, it's called a miss?
Oh my god, to wait? Should we iganas? Should we
(49:12):
have that as merch like iguanas? Yeah, yeah, we're giving
away iguanas as merch. No, no, no, like on a shirt.
It feels like it was very natural, geographic, but it's
also very niche. But what if we make them like
animation iguanas that have like cute hair and like lashes,
what and nails? You know? I'm like, what, Okay, here's
(49:39):
here's one. Hi, Sydney and Marie.
Speaker 2 (49:42):
I'm a middle aged woman who has been with my
husband for about fifteen years.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
So sorry to hear that, babe. We have a young
child together and things are fine. Ooh I don't like
the way you said fine, except we haven't had sex
in over a year.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
That's crazy, But that's not my mess. I still text
my now married X from twenty years ago on the
regular hour. We've been in touch almost the whole time
we've been broke up, and it's usually mildly flirty stuff.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Nothing X rated. Girl.
Speaker 2 (50:15):
Oh you don't want to be married no more. Everything
remains in the text world. We don't ever meet up. Recently,
he has been suggesting meeting for coffee, but I've always declined,
is this mess or just living? I think it's fine
to have this little side flirtation situation, but I'd be
upset if my husband was doing it. Help girl, I'm
hanging up on you now.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
I'm not in the mood. I mean, it's just text.
You've always declined, what are you asking us? Is it
mess to talk to your ex from twenty years ago?
Sometimes you got to say it out loud.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
I suggest people when you write stuff to us, you
need to read it out loud, and then you'll hear
it and you'll be like, oh, yeah, no, that shit
is fucked up. That's not good, that's bad.
Speaker 1 (50:58):
No, right, Why is it flirty? Like she says, slightly flirty?
What does it? What is slightly flirty? Marie? Can you
give me an example? Every thirteen texts messages, maybe the
fourteenth one you this the smiley face us like this
slightly flirty.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
I'm not like, ooh remember remember the days when you know?
It's not like that.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
It's like he probably sharing pictures of his like kids,
and she's sharing a picture of her cat.
Speaker 2 (51:28):
Like, so, how do you feel comfortable discussing your family,
your married, your husband or whatnot, but then you also
being flirty? That's weird If you're gonna do that, I
would just like act like and nothing is happening in
the background.
Speaker 1 (51:43):
But maybe slightly flirty, maybe on one side, not both sides,
you know what I'm saying, Like, maybe the guy is
saying something that's like kind of flirty and then she
shuts it down or ignores it, Like, you know, Marie,
what's the flirty?
Speaker 2 (51:56):
We need to go We need to go over what
emoji are flirty? When there's no words and they're just
using emochi's that are mass the.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Winking and they're not living, it's flirty. Maybe the tongue
out one could be flirty. The angel one is flirty.
The flirting it's like being a good girls. I'm not
and that means definitely. The little purple Demon one is
is definitely flirting. The one with the one, the blushing ones,
(52:31):
the ones that like it's like kind of like embarrassed
a little bit, that's flirty. There's a couple ones with
their tongues out. All any tongue out, that's that's flirting.
I think the eggplant flirty, flirty. Each could be flirty.
The cowboy one is flirty. How I'm a ride. Yeah.
(52:58):
Sometimes the cat, the cat with the hearts, oh, the
heart eye one's flirty. Yeah. The one where it's like
the hearts around the face can be flirty too, because
it's like you said, you gave me a compliment and
I'm like, stop, you're always doing that. Okay, come on,
Janet Jackson. What about hands? Any hands that are flirty?
(53:20):
Praying hands, bro, What that's not flirting? Look imagine the
prank hands with a penis between.
Speaker 2 (53:25):
Them flirty that No nobody's ever thinking that, but amen.
Speaker 1 (53:30):
But it.
Speaker 2 (53:34):
If someone's talking, it's like, oh, can't wait to see you.
And then the prayer hands is like praying that I
see that's flirty.
Speaker 3 (53:41):
Okay, so you said you admit the prank hands can
be flawing.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
I don't know how you got me on that one.
That's crazy. What else? The eyes? All of the eyes
when you do eyes, when you're like looking, just looking. No,
that's not flirty, because that's probably one of my most
used emoji.
Speaker 2 (53:56):
It's flirty because I'm like, who all over there? Yeah,
but that's with a friend. But if i'm if we're
not friends and I'm showing you eyes, I'm just I'm like,
I'm trying to see something. But what that mouth?
Speaker 1 (54:06):
I mean, if you really think about it, Sydney, any
of the emojis can be flirty if you really break
it down. I don't think so any of the emojis.
Let's let me go through the ones that I use.
There's a baby that's an angel, that's not flirty.
Speaker 3 (54:18):
That's like our baby is in heaven looking down at us.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
That's not flirty. Friend, Yeah girl, the the open mouth flirty?
Wait this one?
Speaker 2 (54:29):
Wait, let me see that one. No, that's bitch. Now
you really reaching. I'm telling you all of them could
be flirty. This one that's like shaking, like the earthquake.
The emoji that's flirting as well.
Speaker 1 (54:45):
That now, what is that exactly? You're about to rock
my world? Oh, it's like the y'all can make the merrround.
Every emoji can be flirting. The zipper one, the exhale one,
the and it's like you got this much time before
I sit on it? It's stop. Okay, wait.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
This is the one that I really think is a
is a flirty one. The one that the girl's raising
her hand. It's like, who wants sex tonight?
Speaker 1 (55:19):
It wants to go to the Four Seasons me? You
know what's not flirty? The glasses with the mustache that
the Eugene Levy one. No, it's not flirting. But also
you know what the hand the getting her nails painted,
that's flirting.
Speaker 3 (55:34):
Yeah, because it's like send me the money for my jellex.
Speaker 1 (55:36):
Or no, it's like period boo, I'm on my period
sula period. You know, it's not flirting. The one that's
like like like what about the ones that's like twins,
that's not flirting. That's like friendship. Yeah, that's friendship. I
use it for friendship? Is this flirting? The one I
(55:57):
look like this? No, what does that mean capeche The
one in a wheelchair is flirting. Definitely. After I'm done
with you, you're gonna be on wheels. Baby, we're gonna
have to rule you out. You know what they say,
once you go black, you're gonna need a wheelchair. That's
(56:18):
from white chicks. Wow, this has been a phenomenal episode.
I think we I think we provided for the people.
The zombies are not flirting, or they could be the solos.
The zombie ones mean you're not gonna get no sleep.
You're gonna be walking like a dead body. If I
send pants, that means take those off.
Speaker 3 (56:37):
In those jeans.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
All right, wait, let me just read a message before
we wrap this thing up. Okay, yeah, all right here boom,
you're ready for the message. Yes, hey, ladies, I didn't
mean to be that loud. I got mess here by
way of my sister, but I got permission. My sister
was dating a guy for two years and thought he
was the one, but found out he has been engaged
(57:01):
with someone else during that time. The engaged woman even
called my sister to spilit all absolutely crazy. Fast forward
to a year later, my sister did some stalking, can't
blame her, and found out that guy was dating another
woman who is in his fiance. She felt like she
needed to tell the women of this habitual cheater. My
sister found her work email and message about this guy.
(57:22):
She doesn't believe my sister, but my sister is adamant
about helping this lady.
Speaker 3 (57:27):
Does she need to sign the alarms or let it
be thanks a messica?
Speaker 1 (57:31):
Hey, let me tell you.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
I want to support all women, but I can't because
some of them bitches is dumb there. It is like,
I definitely feel like there's some instances where I'm like,
she gonna find out anyway. Why am I got to
bring the horse to the water.
Speaker 1 (57:49):
Bring the horror to the water. Oom? And this is
why you do what you do? You are so good?
Hmm te Wait is it? How do you do the heart?
Speaker 3 (58:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (58:04):
You do this?
Speaker 3 (58:05):
You make me so mad, my favorite heart?
Speaker 1 (58:07):
Yeah? Over this. Oh no, I don't even do that.
I do this. This is cud her. Yeah, this is
the millennial lineal heart. Yeah, I think you tell one woman.
Speaker 2 (58:17):
You did your job trying to tell all the women
unless you're building a case against this guy.
Speaker 3 (58:22):
But she's not trying to tell all the women. Somebody
told her so.
Speaker 1 (58:26):
Now, she's trying to tell the next chick, and the
next chick don't believe her. Sometimes you can't say, oh
you're it, pass it on like no, I've been told
this other one knows.
Speaker 2 (58:36):
So both of us need to get out this man life.
And then he's stuck with this one girl who obviously
is gone.
Speaker 1 (58:41):
But it's sick girl. It's two girls, his fiance, I
guess his wife now and this new chick. Now. If
I'm saying, hey, sis, come into you as a woman
and you're already ignoring me, then whatever happens at the
next usus that's true.
Speaker 3 (58:55):
Does she need to sound the alarms or let it be,
let it be, let it.
Speaker 1 (58:59):
Go, let it go, let it go. Elsa hit with that.
She ate, she really ate. She drank. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (59:09):
I don't know how people are cheating and lying in
this economy. It sounds expensive to have that many women,
and that's why.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
We're moving forward with ass For the most.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
Some of y'all are just being too cool and you're like, oh, yeah,
you know, we could go to the diner to eat. No,
you gotta go to the steakhouse every time you need
to order MP market price. Run these tabs up, so
these men can't have more other women.
Speaker 1 (59:42):
You're taking it too like, oh, we're going to the
corner store. We being frugal. No, we're going to per se. Yes,
I want a thousand dollars per person. He gon cheat,
he can't be cheap. Write it down, write it down.
We're on fire today, baby. That being said, a lot
of people who cheat are cheap. So yep, pick pick
(01:00:02):
what you feel like you deserve. But if you're gonna cheat, oh,
trust me, that tab is up all the way up.
Speaker 3 (01:00:07):
We ordering top shelf. We're not ordering well, no, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
You're talking about I'm not getting I don't even know her.
We don't know. No, I don't know that. Let me
get that Johnny Worker blue. And then when we come out,
I don't link it. It's nasty, and you know you can't.
You can't give that back. If he's cheating, order a
bottle for the table, for a for the table, Get
the other table next to your bottle as well. He
put it on ice. Put the two little wine things
(01:00:32):
of ice next to each other.
Speaker 2 (01:00:34):
If he's in the hotel, right, y'all get a hotel together.
And he leaves room service, room service, order everything, get
to everything, find.
Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
About two of everything, but definitely get one for you
and maybe you can.
Speaker 2 (01:00:46):
Share with him. I'll get to everything he left. You're
gonna need something to go, baby, and then block that number.
Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Block it. I think we get great advice to it.
Speaker 3 (01:00:56):
Honestly, I'm helping you with your hinge and we helping
you with your cheating.
Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Oh there it is. Don't say that we've never done
anything for the Miss Strange anyway. Continue to send us things, yes,
and keep leaving reviews.
Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
Leave all of the route. I want more reviews. I'm
gonna say every episode because I'll.
Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
Be looking at these other podcasts and I'm like, two
thousand reviews. We're not that far. Yeah, we're actually not
that far. I'm not far from two thousands, but I
would like to get there. You get the twenty twenty five, Hey,
I would love that. Okay, guys later, Gators. Bye. Mess
with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production by
(01:01:37):
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast created and
hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced by
Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos
edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
If you would like your messages read on air, please
email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or
call for your messages to be played at seven six
three two eight zero six five eight eight
Hosts And Creators
Sydnee Washington
Marie Faustin
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