Good Dewayne Gone Bad w/ Dewayne Perkins

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Listening to mess mess, welcome to mess.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
But remember there was a song that I was singing.

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Because woman let me be a woman. Okay, messy, messy woman. Okay,
I don't remember you singing that.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Remember that you don't remember anything? Whoa, You got to
stop smoking weed?

Speaker 4 (00:25):
Why I remember to smoke weed? And that's on the
period I had smoked today.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Though, good for you.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Yeah, if the listeners don't know, I mean, this is
coming out afterwards, but it's June teenth.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
It's June teenth, and they got us in the studio working,
and every person in the studio that's working for us also.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Black black black, black, black on black on.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Black on black on black. I haven't seen a white
person all day.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
Yeah, the trains were very empty.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Maybe that's maybe that's what June Teeth is all about.
It's like white erasure.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
With your chest, Mama's.

Speaker 4 (01:02):
With my thirty two seat. Yeah, maybe that's what it is.
We get a break from the beige. Well, I will say,
we do have some beige listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
We appreciate y'all.

Speaker 4 (01:12):
Y'all not like the rest of them, you know what
I'm saying. Sure, but they also not like us, so
it's different. Like I was talking to my mom about
what Juneteenth means today, and she was like, she was like,
what a medmean? I was like, I think it's the thirteenth.
I'm like Google, She's like, what year nineteen third? I
was like, I think it was eighteen something. We got there, though,

(01:34):
we got there.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
No child left behind. Huh.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Well, my mom is from Haiti. She don't knowhing about Juneteenth.
Juneteenth is new. It just came out.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
I hope Ice is not listening.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Why, I guess wouldn't be listening to us. You never know.
I was born here. I'm a citizen.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Ice, Come get me.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Think where you're gonna send me back to New York.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Back to New York.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
So you know how, I ordered some boots from Essence
that didn't really fit me. Yes, and so I sent
them back and they sent me a picture of the
bottom of the boots and they said, hey, you wore these,
we can't accept them. I wore them from my bedroom
to my kitchen, yes, And they were like, uhh.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
You wore them out.

Speaker 4 (02:13):
So I've been dodging the ups man for a couple
of months.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
I was away a few weeks ago.

Speaker 4 (02:20):
The package was waiting for me at the dough when
I got home. So I've been trying to figure out
if I can just return the package to sender by
writing return to sender on the box.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Is that does that work? Like that? Girl?

Speaker 4 (02:35):
It don't matter if you send the boots back? Have
they taken? Have they given you your money back? Somebody
else paid for the boots. I just don't want them in.
They don't fit me.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
They're a little bit too small and the box is massive.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
We'll just sell them, just sell them.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
What are you talking about? Deep hop?

Speaker 4 (02:56):
That feels like more steps than getting a sharpie and
writing turn to send her or friend.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
You can go on your page and be like.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Give away, who has who has the size? Giveaway?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Meaning I then got to pay to ship it to them.
If I right return to sender, it's gonna go for free.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
No no, no no. They have to be in New York.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
How about that? So they gotta come get it?

Speaker 5 (03:17):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Maybe maybe give them away at your next show, Sydney.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
I gotta bring this big app This is a These
are over the knee boots.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
You didn't you didn't say that?

Speaker 4 (03:28):
These long mind you wish it's about to be July.
These long boots in July.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Girl, give it to an unhoused person.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
That's mess that? Why is that the mess? O sides
you wear? You seem like you got a small foot. Okay,
oh yeah they'll.

Speaker 4 (03:40):
Fit you then, Okay, yeah, look at that. Wow, you're
gonna come and get them?

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Wow? Put them in an overpackage.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
Maria is always finding a way like how can I
give away something or get something?

Speaker 4 (03:55):
No, Sydney, I wasn't trying to give them away. I
was trying to send them back. You trying to get
me to give them away. I was workshopping something. You're right,
that's mess, Wow, Sydney Mother Teresa Washington. Yeah, maybe you're
not messed. Maybe I'm messed for not thinking about giving
them away. I just want to get the biggest box
out of my house.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Totally understand.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
It's like a small college refrigerator.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
Hey, you know what, I know how hard it is
to like task tasks are very hard. That's why I'm
so bad at Newly because once I'm done with it,
I have to send it back and that's my issue.
I'll just keep it in my apartment for months and
they're and they're charging me each month.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
What?

Speaker 4 (04:35):
Yes, I thought if you had if you had one,
they didn't charge you for the next month.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
They charge you for the next month.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Girl.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yeah, and that's another and that's another task.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Listen.

Speaker 4 (04:46):
I paused my newly a couple of months ago and
then my I lost my card. I lost my car
that it was on and they unpaused it. But they
were like, hey, we can't the cars work.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
They just did that to me too. They said, he
we're not going through. And it's like, if the car
is not working, cancel it. Then I get and they did.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
They canceled it. God's planned. Okay, I think that's going
to happen to me. See, everything works in our favor.
We are God's favorite. Yeah for sure.

Speaker 4 (05:16):
Amen boop, what's my mess?

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Girl?

Speaker 2 (05:22):
You were there for it? And so were you?

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Share it? The listeners were not there.

Speaker 3 (05:27):
We had we have a monthly shown with a mina.
It's called Sundays and you know, we get up there,
we host we have a good time. I'm on stage,
minding my business, doing my jokes. Who do I see
an X in the audience? An X was in the audience,

(05:50):
didn't give me the heads up? Then text me bought
a ticket, so cute cute for you because you are
a fan, but I think there's got to be some protocol.
You can't just show up at somebody's job.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
And he was dressed.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Killer like a geisha at African Geisha.

Speaker 3 (06:08):
He was giving, you know, thank you, thank you for
supporting the arts.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
But it was it was strange, like, if.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
You're gonna come to my job, right, you got to
be in the shadows, you got to be in the back.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
You got to be by the bar. I shouldn't be
able to see he was so close.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
And then I'm not even gonna say the second part. Well,
I'll talk about it on the Patreon, the second part
of it because it was actually very rude because then
he made a post. I ain't gonna say the rest,
but yeah, it was really upsetting because first of all,
I just need to this one I'm gonna put out there.
If I dated you and you were a man, I'm

(06:52):
gay now, so that don't even count. I don't even
know what who's this man? Sydney said it fell off
her credit report. It fell off, And that's how I
have addressed. I should have treated him like, oh hello,
what's your name?

Speaker 1 (07:04):
No, but that's not what you did. I was actually
kind of it was kind of mess do it. Sidney
was like, my ex is here, and then she pointed
to him and she's like, you're good, and me and
a Mina were gagged.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah, you look good.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
Anytime you bump into your ex after you've left them,
you want them to look distraught, disheveled. You want them
to be dragging the leg behind them. You just want
them to be doing bad.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Well girl, First of all, the issue is is that.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
I just was. I had no words to speak.

Speaker 4 (07:38):
Well.

Speaker 1 (07:38):
First of all, I don't know how to be mean.
That's my problem. That's a lie. I don't know. I
don't know what I mean. That's how to be mean?
Can you believe it? I've seen you be mean before.
I'm such a sweetheart. That's a lie. When have I
been mean? You've been mean to people that you've decided
that you no longer want in your life? Is that mean?

Speaker 2 (07:57):
Or is that creating a boundary and standing on business?

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Period?

Speaker 4 (08:01):
So?

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (08:02):
So?

Speaker 1 (08:03):
When I'm mean? Am I being mean? Or am I
setting setting a boundary and standing on business? Sny? Do
you lead with your heart? I lead with my mouth?
Love that boundary? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (08:20):
So I couldn't believe it, and then he reached out.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
I haven't written back, but he apologized.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
So the number hasn't changed. No, it hasn't. And you
never blocked him.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
I don't block excess for what I mean. I mean,
he broke up with me. So there's that.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
I'm saying that on the record.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
But whoa. Well, there was a time where I wasn't
I wasn't eight ship. You wasn't a ship. Yeah you
ainate wasn't ship. I ate ship. It wasn't ain't you.
It wasn't mean.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
I was ship. Ye I was shitting. I was shitting
on these foes.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
Well, he broke so it looked wild. Is that how
he used to dress when you dated him? No?

Speaker 3 (09:02):
No, No, he's a he's a trainer, so he would
dress like a trainer. He have a little duffle bag
and like muscle muscles showing, you know, teeth whatever. And
you know, just he had a job and he has skateboard.
I met him with a skateboard. That's how you know.
Just times was so tough, and he tried to get

(09:23):
me to be on his skateboard to go to his house.

Speaker 1 (09:26):
That's a rom com for poor people. No, kick push.
I love that, And that's to Tyler Perry. Well, Tyler's
busy right now. He got a lot of allegations happening.

Speaker 4 (09:39):
He's got so much going on in the in the kitchen.
They're leaking a bunch of his text messages.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
I don't know if you guys have seen him.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Oh, no, I don't. I'm busy. I'm busy.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Okay, I can't. Is the water in the shot? I
just want to know? Is the jug in the shot?
This is? She's busy doing this.

Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, I'm still doing it hard seven.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
You can't even pick it up off the table. I
have not been speaking of hard seventy five. Yeah, we
have a guest in here tonight. You do have a
guest in here? Wow? He is writer, actor, influencer, philanthropist.
Yes he is.

Speaker 5 (10:21):
I do be helping folks, you do.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Some would call him the spca.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
He's our dear, dear friend and my guaranteur.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Give it up. We're a twain person.

Speaker 5 (10:37):
Thank you for having me. Yes, baby, it's hard not
to talk to me. Are talking?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
Well, what do you have any like? Now's your chance
to respond to anything that you heard.

Speaker 5 (10:45):
Oh, that whole acc thing was crazy. It was because
I wanted to leave and I was like, why are
you talking to this man?

Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (10:52):
Any you were talking to him after the show for
quite a while.

Speaker 5 (10:57):
Yes, And I felt like I had to be mean
because you weren't. And I was like, can we know?
And then I was like I got to actually walk
outside because your lack of mean is manifesting in me
in a way that I didn't want to showcase.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
You're picking up all the mean that she's dropping.

Speaker 5 (11:11):
Yes, that she was not dropping.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yes, because we didn't we move rooms, we left, and
y'all were still.

Speaker 5 (11:17):
It was three different occasions.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Hadn't seen him in yes, so long.

Speaker 5 (11:22):
Which is crazy because then why what is there to
talk about?

Speaker 3 (11:25):
I mean, I'm doing well, Okay, there's so much to
talk about.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
See, now that's how you flip it. She's talking to
him about how.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
Great she's doing.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I love everything you're doing. I'm proud of you. I mean,
he was there when I started comedy.

Speaker 5 (11:38):
Actually, so that was like an ego boost.

Speaker 4 (11:43):
I don't know, Hey, I don't understand, man, I don't
speak man, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
He was he was about.

Speaker 5 (11:48):
For you, Oh what do you mean talking to him?
You were just talking to him to like boost yourself up,
to tell him how great you were doing.

Speaker 3 (11:55):
You know, thank you for unpacking all of this. These
are great questions. I cannot come back to them. Can
circle back?

Speaker 4 (12:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (12:02):
Put a pin?

Speaker 2 (12:04):
What about Marie? What about her mess?

Speaker 1 (12:06):
Oh the boots? Yeah? I forgot what my mess was?
Oh yeah she.

Speaker 5 (12:09):
I don't know why you just couldn't leave them on
the street. Is New York free?

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Somebody? I could do that, but Beckha might want them?
Yeah that's better.

Speaker 4 (12:20):
Yes, Rather a stylish person put them on and then
it's their problem.

Speaker 5 (12:24):
Yeah, Or you could have put it out on the
street then when Day saw them, and maybe maybe you
could have made it to Mary J. Blige or something
she could have had.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
You think Mary J Blige is going to end up
with my street boots?

Speaker 5 (12:32):
Yeah, well you never know.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
She has a bigger she has a bigger foot than you.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
For sure.

Speaker 5 (12:37):
It's New York City, the city of.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Dream hung he knew, yea.

Speaker 4 (12:45):
Now, I just want to put both things of water
side by side, because y'all are doing hard seventy five together.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (12:50):
I convinced Sydney to do it with me because I
did not want to know about myself.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
So you are the originator.

Speaker 5 (12:56):
Yes, accountability is better when there's an accountability partner.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
True, it's better to do it with somebody.

Speaker 5 (13:01):
I think we live in the same house. So if
she wasn't doing it, I would have been very upset
every time I saw her eat a piece of bread.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Okay, so let's talk about it. Y'all. Can't eat no bread?

Speaker 5 (13:10):
Well she can't. I gave up bread, fried food, sugars.

Speaker 4 (13:14):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (13:15):
And I also, I'm sober while I'm in New York. Oh,
terrible time.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Sober like California sober.

Speaker 4 (13:22):
No just like no alcohol, no, no weed, no drugs,
no nothing, no joy.

Speaker 5 (13:28):
Yeah, Marie, it's been hard.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
There's joy in sobriety.

Speaker 5 (13:35):
Yeah, with practice. But this is new for me. So
there are like in the summertime I have to it's hard,
Like there's moments where I'm like, damn, this is when
I would smoke. Then I gotta go do something else
like exercise.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Mm hmm. Yeah. Sleep.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
Uh, sleeping is good. I think sleeping is a great one.

Speaker 5 (13:55):
Like other vices, what go to aniga?

Speaker 2 (13:58):
Oh, well I don't have I can't do that.

Speaker 5 (14:00):
But yes, it's just just anything like I tried to
read thumb whoa.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, that was part of the heard seventy five is
you got to read ten pages a day.

Speaker 5 (14:11):
Yeah, I didn't. I ain't doing that part.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
I started that with you, Sydney. I read.

Speaker 4 (14:14):
I made it to like thirty maybe forty something pages,
and the book, you know what it is, The book sucked.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
I said, what book is it? Put it? Put it out?
You know. Remember it's a book that I got for free.

Speaker 5 (14:24):
That it is. And then like, I'll be writing. So
I consider me reading my own writing to be reading,
I say, and I'm getting paid for this. I actually
have a better program.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Yeah, I'm reading the artist Way and it's I mean,
whenever I can, I'm reading the Artist's Way.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
Okay, yeah, as you go.

Speaker 5 (14:44):
I tried to read it. It was a little difficult for me.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Why is it difficult.

Speaker 5 (14:48):
I think it's for a certain type of person.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
The one that believes in God.

Speaker 5 (14:52):
No, one that's a little insecure. Oh, it's a lot
of like believe in yourself. And I'm like, already have
that part. Girl, get to the task, Like what are
we doing?

Speaker 3 (15:03):
The task is doing the solo dates and you know,
doing the morning pages.

Speaker 5 (15:09):
Yeah, but to get there is her being like, I
help this banker be happy again, and I was like,
I'm gonna fuck about this banker low key, Like it's
just it feels very self congratulatory in a way that
I just don't care. Like the voice of the book
is not my favorite.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, oh white Lady wrote it. Yeah, come on, he
said that you like the book.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
I mean, he says, for someone who's insecure, I wouldn't
say that I'm insecure.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
I think that because I'm working.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
Through did you just did you move?

Speaker 5 (15:43):
Looked at my finger. I looked at my hand.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
Because you know you're shady. I am not you are.

Speaker 5 (15:49):
No, I don't mean insecure like a bad way. I
do mean like insecuring.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
He said, they're not for somebody who's insecure.

Speaker 5 (15:56):
Yeah, that they're not secure in their artistry. Literally, that's
why they're reading a book about how to work their artistry.
So why were you doing it to see if there
was new ways to expand not to create it. So
it's very different. We're just at different places and I'm
looking for more like pitches, not necessarily like oh, you're

(16:19):
a garbage man and you want to find some artistic
way to live. That's like not I don't need that.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Garbage.

Speaker 6 (16:27):
Man.

Speaker 5 (16:27):
Yeah, and I already like have an artistic way. I'm
just trying to see if there are other ways to
expand that, to see if I can glean something from it.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
Well, then the title would be the other artist's way.

Speaker 5 (16:37):
And that's why I stopped reading it.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
I got a book. It's called Steal Like an artist, Marie.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
That's so on brand for you.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
WHOA what that means?

Speaker 5 (16:48):
It's true, most art is stomach And I would say, like,
as a screenwriter, that's all it is. You just look
at somebody that's movie and then you just do that.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
How we struggle trying to the original steal so.

Speaker 5 (17:03):
Many times I said, we can do something so quick.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Dwayne, I don't think you told me this a bunch
of times. You have told Sidney this. He told both
of us. Win, we're not listening, said, you can't remember.

Speaker 5 (17:13):
We were in LA We were both in a car.
We were outside of your ex's house, and I remember
we were talking this.

Speaker 1 (17:20):
Is this dent.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
No, No, it's the case of the X for me
every single time.

Speaker 5 (17:29):
And we were talking about like pilots and writing and
just like I don't want to and I was like,
but let me tell it's not. It's easy. All you
gotta do is steal.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Remember that's what you're saying on the pile as a writer.

Speaker 5 (17:44):
Still like an like as an artist, like what do
you like everything? There was like twelve Steve Job movies.
You think they were different? Was there twelve? And they
all came out at the same time? There was one
how many, well that's twelve to doing how many Cinderellas
have there been? There was like four snow Whites, Like
it's all the same. Ship structure, story structure is the same.

(18:07):
You watch a movie and you know act three and bash,
it's gonna happen because they got to overcome.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Let's rewrite sinners.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
Really this is what you want, okay, but we were
supposed to be twins and we don't. Look, this is
the rewrite. Ye, it'll be a comedy. I mean it'll
be like vampires in Brooklyn meet.

Speaker 5 (18:30):
Cinner see but that's too close vampire, yes, or like
mummies or some mummy.

Speaker 3 (18:36):
It's like, you want us to be mummy and the
whole thing is that, you know the look yeah, but
we'll be mummies.

Speaker 5 (18:43):
That have bought so it's like, yeah, so you're the
like you are unwrapped at the beginning and the people
are like, oh, they're black, lady, mummy mummies.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Yeah, that's that's.

Speaker 5 (18:55):
The name of it.

Speaker 1 (18:58):
Black.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
They know that the mummies are black because through tendrils
in between.

Speaker 5 (19:07):
Your wraps and ma, I'm a mummy, but I have
a zoobie, you know what I mean. It's a full
and it just goes around your whole.

Speaker 4 (19:16):
By what, I'm gonna have a New Yorker chain and everything.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
I'm gonna be wearing Thames. That that's how they know.

Speaker 1 (19:24):
Sinners.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
I like this, sinners. But mummy Bran, Hey, we're doing pictures.

Speaker 1 (19:33):
These glasses are giving. The glasses with the sleepless sweater
vests is given.

Speaker 5 (19:37):
Hollywood, thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (19:39):
It's giving secure.

Speaker 5 (19:40):
I think in its artistry, I think that is the
biggest issue in the world right now. Whoa well for me?

Speaker 2 (19:47):
Okay?

Speaker 5 (19:47):
People being insecure like people not having like a strong
sense of self and it causes a lot of issues.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah. I think a lot of insecurities start like wars
and battles and.

Speaker 4 (20:00):
Like if you knew who you were, then little things
would bother you less, maybe even some big things because
you'd be like you did that and I don't like it,
but yeah, I'm too busy to.

Speaker 5 (20:09):
Caud you say it how you feel it was real? Yeah,
that's like my Ugh, that's what I struggle with now.
I was telling Sydney that I don't want to be
nice anymore, like tired nice.

Speaker 2 (20:21):
Well let's let's rewhind Duane.

Speaker 5 (20:23):
Yes you're here.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
What's your mess?

Speaker 5 (20:25):
I am? My mess is I Niceness I think has
to go. I think as a nation as a people,
we've moved past nice as a nation, as a nation,
as a people, as a people, as a society.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
But a lot of people aren't nice exactly.

Speaker 5 (20:39):
That's what I was, like, what a lot I think
the attempt at trying to be nice, Like I think
that's like is what's ruining it because I think that
the people that are not nice they're living in their truth,
and the people that are trying to be nice are not.
And it creates a situation to where like if you
not nice, I know this similar to like racism. We're

(20:59):
like overt racism just be like, oh you hate niggas cool,
But the people that pretend like they don't, then he's like, oh,
why'd you waste my time when I know you hate niggas.
Similar to that, I bean like nice. If you're not nice,
I know that immediately because you're not nice. It's people
who hate niggas that I know how to navigate that.

Speaker 4 (21:16):
It's crazy, Yes, people who don't like black people and
they have black children.

Speaker 5 (21:19):
And I hate it. And I feel like I've been
in a lot of situations where people were being nice
and I was like, I'd rather you not because this
is not helping the situation. This is actually not serving us.
You're trying to be nice. You're actually wasting my fucking time.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
So if you had all.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
The rings and you could snap your finger and erase
niceness in the world, you would do that.

Speaker 5 (21:39):
Probably, Not, that wouldn't be the first thing.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
What's the first thing?

Speaker 5 (21:43):
You was orias, it's not. I'm kidding.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Ciass, that's what you have.

Speaker 5 (21:50):
That's what came to mind. No, I would the first
thing would probably be insecurity. Oh yeah, that's good. I
think that would really how.

Speaker 4 (22:00):
No, no, no, no, I think the wrong people are insecure
and the people who should be insecure are not.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
They're the ones that are, Like, you know, I'm gonna
make a business and I'm gonna tell everybody to do this,
and I'm not qualified, but you know what, I should
be president like things of that sort.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
We should be in I hear what you're saying. But
everybody is insecure about something. Every single person alive, confident
or not, has at least one insecurity something.

Speaker 5 (22:27):
That they don't and I think if we replace that
with simply discernment, then we could be solution based instead
of just having any motion.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Now, for the people listening who don't know what discernment means,
what I means.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
That's the word of the day. Discernment the ability to discern,
the discern.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
Is discerned, Alex.

Speaker 5 (22:47):
What's discern is the ability to see in process something.
Oh that's what this whole yeah, to like have like
a knowledge of opinion based off information. So instead of
being like, oh, I'm insecure, like I feel insecure about

(23:07):
the situation, you're like, oh, this situation makes me feel this,
and because of that, I feel this way versus just
having any emotion. You know, what's the point of having that.
You're looking for the origin of that and then finding
a solution feeling it.

Speaker 3 (23:25):
I'm not gonna lie to you, friend, I'm confused, but
what you're saying feels right.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
It feels right, yeah, Sidney, and I we lack discern.

Speaker 5 (23:34):
For example, Okay, so something that I said in the
car when we were talking about pilots, for example, You're like, oh,
I know people who are like doing stuff and writing pilots,
and because I have not, like comparing yourself to them.
And I was like, you haven't written a pilot, so
you should compare yourself to people who also have not
written pilot, because why would you compare yourself to somebody

(23:57):
who you're not even doing the same thing.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
That's right.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
If I haven't done it, I should be comparing myself
to people who also haven't done it.

Speaker 5 (24:03):
Yeah, and if you do, you should feel normal because
y'all at the same place.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
Actually, I actually feel better than them, but I feel
worse than the others, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (24:13):
That's what I say. Always compare yourself to the worst.
Why are you can pay yourself to the best? That's crazy, you.

Speaker 4 (24:19):
Know, because I feel like if I compare myself to
the best, and it's gonna make me want to be better.
But if I compare myself to the worst, then it's
like I'm good where I'm at, yeah, and I don't
want to be good where I'm at.

Speaker 5 (24:29):
And that's why you now have to have discernmined about
who you are. Some people, if you do compare yourself
to the best, it may be create a thing where
you're like, oh, they're too far, there's no point in
me trying to reach that. You have to know yourself
to know what's the best way to accomplish waying.

Speaker 1 (24:43):
Do you have a master's degree?

Speaker 5 (24:44):
I know, I just have had therapy since I was
like in kindergarten because I had a speech.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Impediment therapy for people with a stutter.

Speaker 5 (24:51):
That's because my stutter was attached to my emotions. So
I had to know myself in order to be able
to speak.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Oh so you get like so angry or like.

Speaker 5 (24:58):
So I was just anxious all the time, so like
my body would like go into fight or flight and situations.
So I had to like mentally and emotionally control my
emotions to be able to tell my body like, oh,
it's okay to speak, because I think that's what larynx
were like.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
I literally think I have those.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
I think I have a speech impediment when I'm like
anxious or what I'm thinking. It's like going so fast
that when I speak my words jumble up.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
You're not you don't get it. Same thing that Dwyane
Junior had.

Speaker 5 (25:37):
I just had like a really bad stutter where like
I actually like was like it wouldn't come out.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh yeah, No, No I didn't. I don't have a stutter.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
I just I guess.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
I guess I got a thick tongue.

Speaker 4 (25:46):
Maybe I have something doing. He did say she was
a good time. So he said that people y'all know,
y'all know that was that was a Yelp review five stars.

Speaker 5 (25:59):
That mouth.

Speaker 1 (26:00):
Now that is a mess. I'm delivered. I don't do that,
no one. Okay. I'm not with Metro no more. I'm
with AKMC. Okay.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
So now you have all the discernment you need and
you're just trying to find.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
I'm like, like it's just it's a constant thing. But
I just feel like So I had this like situation,
like a work situation where I was talking to somebody
about a note just and it was like just very blunt,
just being like, oh I don't agree with this for
this reason. This is kind of And then we had
a call afterwards to be like, hey, I think we

(26:55):
should like talk nicer to each other. And I was like, hey,
I think nice is pretty subjective because you think it's language,
and I think it's in using my time well, And
so we had the conversation. He and they were like, Okay,
that makes sense because I was like, you are worried
about like the observation, like what it like looks like,
and you think just me talking softer to you is nice.

(27:18):
And I think, hey, actually, if we weren't so worried
about being nice and we just got to the point,
I can go live my life. I don't want to
be here. You're wasting my time. You think that's nice.

Speaker 4 (27:31):
You're kind of County's blonde happy Pridet.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
Are you gay?

Speaker 4 (27:35):
Are you the gay? No, It's just like he's willing
me a slater. That's a that's a deep.

Speaker 5 (27:43):
It's just like I I came back to New York
from LA because I feel like work was just like
overtaking my life, and I think like life has to
be lived in order to like produce good work. So
I'm trying to live life. And the way that these
systems work, they just want life and that's just not
my thing. Like I don't.

Speaker 4 (28:03):
But also if all you do is work and not live,
then the work suffers, cause like I know comics that
only do comedy and they never are not on stage.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
They're never taking trips, they're never.

Speaker 4 (28:16):
Going on vacation, and it's like, how are you pulling
source material? How are you finding stuff to talk about
and connect with people on If all you ever do
is be on stage and be around comedians, it's all
you know what I'm saying, Yeah, it's just not a
useful time of like creating memories and writing new jokes
or some people just write based off like the current events.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
But then that's my issue.

Speaker 3 (28:39):
It's like you're always talking and making jokes about what
other people are doing, but you're not doing you Why
don't you focus on your own events and situations so
you'll have something to talk about and.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
Were making money? Duwayne is making money.

Speaker 4 (28:53):
Imagine being rich and not being able to enjoy being
rich because you gotta work for more money.

Speaker 5 (28:58):
That's literally what Like, that's capitalism just once you get
it's like up until the Writer's strike. I got my
first job in twenty seventeen, and my first break was
the writer strike, and I was like, Yo, my life
has been all work, and it like I had to
like change a bunch of shit because it was just
not fulfilling. And so now I'm at this place where

(29:20):
I'm like, yeah, work has to exist because we live
in a place where that's important, but like it could
be done in a way that's just like better, Like
I don't want to like do all and I like
and I don't want to get it wrong, Like I'm
not saying like be mean. There's a spectrum, and I
think the emphasis on like nice is just not as

(29:42):
significant to me in terms of like I could just
be neutral, and I think people want me to perform yes,
And I'm like, I think this is unnecessary, Like can
we just like get to the point, like we're adults,
we can have a conversation, Like let's just say what
we need to say so we can like yeah, but.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
Huh, but I was gonna say, like, not everybody has
the same communication skills, and not everybody has been brought
up with the same like basis of communication. So what
you think is straightforward for somebody else is like mean,
and what somebody else is straightforward, it's like, oh, you're
being too nice, so you never know what it is

(30:21):
depending on the people you're working with.

Speaker 5 (30:22):
Yes, And that's why I think it's just a conversation
to be like, hey, like what do we like what
is the best way to do this? Esp As if
it's like business, like if we're talking about productivity, like
what is the best way to be productive?

Speaker 4 (30:33):
But when you think about businessmen, right, people who are
considered bosses, they don't.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Have to be nice. They're not supposed to be nice.
They're a boss.

Speaker 4 (30:41):
They show up, they say what they want, you know
what their standard of like their standard is of what
they expect to be done when they get there and
when they're talking to you, and then they go off
and they do their thing, and you'd.

Speaker 1 (30:52):
Be like, who I did it? I survived that?

Speaker 4 (30:55):
But like women, Not to make this about women, but
I will women. And when women are assertive and women
know what they want and women are like kind of
very like concise and cutthroat, it's like, WHOA, she was
a bitch, or she don't know what she's talking about,
or she could have been nicer, and YadA, YadA YadA.
But what I learned watching all the Beyonce documentaries, like
Beyonce Knows what she wants and she's a perfectionist. She's

(31:18):
not she's not being nasty, but she's being very like
kind of Kurt.

Speaker 5 (31:22):
Yes, And I feel like that's the energy that I bring.
And I think because my like lived personality is like fine,
bubbly cute, people expect that in business and I'm like, no,
this is business. And then they be gagged and be
like mom, be like gay and happier, and I'm like,
oh no.

Speaker 3 (31:42):
But wait, what's the difference between that and Ellen degenerous?

Speaker 1 (31:46):
Was she really being being mean?

Speaker 5 (31:48):
Yes? Okay, like she was being like me, And that's
the thing, Like, what can you.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
Give me the examples so that we know what mean
is and we know what like being straightforward?

Speaker 1 (31:57):
I mean she lost her whole job showed.

Speaker 5 (31:59):
Yeah, I mean, like if I was.

Speaker 3 (32:01):
Like, that's the homophobia of it all, because if she
was a straight man, I don't know if she would
have lost everything. Because we know so many people in
the industry or just at regular jobs that are being
met and they.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
Still have it.

Speaker 5 (32:15):
Yeah. But I think that's the problem that everybody's comparing
themselves to the best worst person and they're doing it
and it's like okay, and you want to be them,
like you just want power so that you can abuse it, right, Like, nah,
pick a better hobby, like just do it better. Like,
especially when we're entering these spaces where we are. Something
that I hate is when people.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
The glasses, because the glasses really got you, like you you, I.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Don't see you like this and very much so.

Speaker 4 (32:43):
Like Okay, they said Ellen DeGeneres was just a really
mean boss. Right, there's a list of small complaints, like
people being told to never ever make eye contact with her.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
Now we know plenty of celebrities who can't look at
them in the eye.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
J Lo. With these people, I think, and not just
one of these people, like you're not supposed to look
in the eyeballs.

Speaker 5 (33:03):
That's and I think that reaches a line of like
I think all I'm thinking about is through like a
regular human lens, Like we are humans. This is a
human experience. I think that's crazy to be like, don't
look me in the eye.

Speaker 4 (33:15):
How successful, Dwayne do you need to be to be
like don't don't look at me.

Speaker 5 (33:19):
I don't think I will ever. That feels crazy, Like
I feel like that reaches that point of being like, oh,
you're just now doing shit, because you can like and
I don't think that I'll ever be at a place
to where I feel like I need to control people
in that way.

Speaker 4 (33:32):
Ellen tried to have a lady fired for serving food
with chipped nail polish.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Okay, that's really.

Speaker 5 (33:42):
And like and you would have those thoughts, but you
just can't actually like. I remember I went to a
dance class ones like years ago, and this man was
wearing a blazer and I don't know, they made yes performing.
It made me irrationally upset.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Please explain the blazers.

Speaker 5 (33:59):
And we were doing jip and I said business cash crazy.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Didn't wait, didn't have shoulder pads like what arrested?

Speaker 5 (34:06):
And I said, what the hell? And in my mind
I said, arrested, jail, get him out of here immediately straight.
If I had power, I could actually do that. That
would be crazy. Excuse me, you have to leave for what.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Was under the blazer? Was it buttoned all the way?
Was it shorts?

Speaker 5 (34:20):
Was he wearing he was kind of wearing like shorts
and then like a business like it was like party
on the bottom, business on top. And I was like,
maybe he came from like an interview or something like
I don't know, but for sure I don't like this.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
But also that's his business. I feel like him.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
I had for him, and it's not for anybody else.
And you can't be like, hey, you got to get
out of here.

Speaker 5 (34:41):
And that's what I had to let it go because
I said, this is this is irrational.

Speaker 1 (34:45):
You can't really you can't really pop off in a
blazer in a dance class. Was he dancing?

Speaker 5 (34:51):
Well?

Speaker 1 (34:51):
No, it wasn't giving like.

Speaker 5 (34:56):
Boom cac No, it was giving. I met the off.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
He's like, where's the machine? Maybe it was a there.
Maybe somebody was like, I dare you to do this
dance class.

Speaker 5 (35:06):
I get that I would. I would participate in something
like that. I love daring people to do things.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
I'm glad that you're still yes, bring it out.

Speaker 5 (35:14):
And so I just like if I actually were to
exercise that in real life, that would make me like
a crazy person. Been like, yeah, but you got ship,
nail polish, get out of here.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
Sometimes I think, but there is like the thing with
j Lo I remember allegedly she was having her you know,
baby shower at a rooftop at a hotel.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
And you were there.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
I'm just all alleged would know what she was it was.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
It was very like with Caviar, it was it was salad,
you know, a lot of garnish and things of that sort,
you know, like, but she didn't want stop us.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
It was there was no top us there.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
It was not Zoe, but she didn't want like the
people who were working to talk to her, like they
have to talk to I guess the liaison. And yes,
that's kind of bitchy, But you also have to understand
people be mad unprofessional with celebrities and they just be

(36:27):
getting real chummy and they be doing too much and
the next thing you know, you talk to them, Oh,
can you take a picture for my cousin who's in
you know, Puerto Rican.

Speaker 4 (36:35):
No, so I get that. I get Hey, first of all,
it's my baby shower.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
Why are you talking to me. There's a there's a
wedding planner.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
Not a wedding planner, that's j Loo. It's an event planner.
Everything should go through them anyway. But like if we
randomly happened to be in the same space for a second,
I should be able to say, I think.

Speaker 5 (36:56):
Like those are just boundaries, and I think they like
people are like individual. It was like, yeah, and those
people who are crazy are just crazy people, and then
there are people who are just like normal that you're like, oh,
and I don't think you. I mean, I guess if
you are at that level of fame where it's more
common for crazy people to interact with you, I guess
you would have strong boundaries, but like like, don't look

(37:18):
at me like that kind of stuff, like like at
your place of employment, like you are hiring these people. Yeah,
that feels like, that feels crazy. I can see if
you're like just on the street in a crowd being like, oh,
I have to have stronger boundaries for like safety. But
if you are the person curating the space and that's
how you're doing it, be better at curating the space.
Don't hire fucking crazy people, and then you don't have
to be crazy.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
No, I disagree with that.

Speaker 4 (37:41):
I just you said, don't hire crazy people if crazy
people don't walk amongst them.

Speaker 1 (37:45):
Yeah, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 (37:46):
There's so many people people are not doing background.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
And also people people appear that they got it together
and then three weeks in you're like whoahoa, whoa whoa
whoa wa wait a minute.

Speaker 5 (37:56):
Say and then you fire them. You don't match. They're crazy.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
I got what you're saying. But we were at SNL
when Jaylo was there and I was like this.

Speaker 5 (38:07):
Hey, were you like talking to her?

Speaker 1 (38:13):
No? I mean I didn't. I didn't have talked to
Jaylo about Love Made of Manhattan, Like what that's like?

Speaker 5 (38:21):
I was. I went to like a party, like a
megal like after party, and I just found myself at
one point standing next to is in there and I'm obsessed
with her and I said, oh, Like I looked over there.
We locked eyes and I said, oh, hello, and then
I was like I literally and I said, I don't
know what else, like what, I don't know what to say?
Like I don't she say hello back? Yeah, But that
was kind of like the end of the interaction because
I was like, I don't.

Speaker 4 (38:41):
Well, because at the end of the people are just people.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
Yeah, they're people that more people know.

Speaker 5 (38:47):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
I feel like.

Speaker 4 (38:49):
It's cooler to treat them normal than to fawn all
over them. And I mean this whole Doja cat with
the shirt situation, she like bumped into a fan.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Liked his shirt, he took it off his body and
gave it to her. That's strange. I'm not gonna lie.
That's that's it's I he had been in the club,
he had been in the floor. I don't want your.

Speaker 4 (39:11):
Shirt that I don't want to shut off the back
off your back.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
I don't need it.

Speaker 5 (39:15):
And that was the whole conversation, like like was she
fake and blah blah blah. And I'm like, like, I
think I have a lot more empathy for like marginalized people,
so like as a woman, I'm like, maybe she could
have been like, oh, maybe if she was like no, actually,
I don't want to fuck with you, and maybe she
did feel more pressure to play along.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
They hugged a bunch of times. He kissed her on
the cheek.

Speaker 5 (39:37):
She was like manhandled, so he grabbed her arm and
put his face next to her. Next thing, and like
maybe in real time it's like not you're just like
kind of rolle with the punches. But later you're like
I don't want that man.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
Video about it.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
You give a man an inch and then the next
thing he's giving you his shirt. That's so weird.

Speaker 5 (39:53):
Like I do think you're like even as like I
do more like I was I was doing like a
like a talk with like this mentor group, and this
woman was like, oh, like I saw you at a
mall and came up to you and was like telling
you about the Blackening and like how I liked it
and you were so nice. No, and then I asked
her like how was it and then She's like, oh, no,

(40:14):
like you were very nice. And then I was like cool,
like I am, like I'm not. I talked to strangers
all the time that there's nothing too like, I'm just
very grateful. But I feel like if that would happen
all the time. Like I remember the first weekend the
movie came out, I went to a party in La
and I was so overwhelmed because it was just like
a new feeling and I was like, oh my, is
this what?

Speaker 2 (40:34):
Who are these people like fans?

Speaker 5 (40:36):
And I just never experienced that until then, And I
was like, I hope I'm doing this right, like like
just I think I'm gaining a little bit more empathy
for famous people just because I'm seeing that. It's just.

Speaker 4 (40:53):
Yeah, definitely going to be a cell phone at somebody
that call. They're gonna have to carry you everywhere. You're
gonna be like no pictures, please, don't look out, don't
look at me.

Speaker 5 (41:05):
I think that like there is a man. I guess
it's not controllable, but I think there is a level
of control that you can try to have.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
Yeah, you don't you want to get not too famous?

Speaker 5 (41:16):
Yeah, I mean yeah, Like I just don't. Yeah, I
don't think it's the fame Like I want money, I
want access, I want power. I want to be able
to do what I want to do creatively. I think
somebody who I think is up the perfect amount of
famous to me is Seth Rogan. I think that like
he people know him and he does what he like does,
but it's all like work based. I don't know shit
about that man's life. Like I know, like he's cool

(41:37):
to work with, he make cool shit, he has a
weak company. Like, but if I see him on the street,
I'm like, oh, that's Seth Brogan. And I've seen people
be like, oh that's suck like I've seen Jordan Peel.
But it wasn't like people running up to him.

Speaker 4 (41:48):
It was just like I have to think about who
these people's fans are.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
I think Ceth Fan is going to be a slow
stoner Yeah, and that's what pee Fan is going to be.

Speaker 4 (41:58):
Somebody who probably has a dark accent wall in the
apartment and they don't make o contact with people when
they be outside.

Speaker 5 (42:04):
Like, what is that based off their work? Like it's
like there their fans are components of like their work.
I feel like a lot of mainly like pop stars.
It feels like there's a different yeah the pop stars
have and I don't think I'll ever be that s
like And that's the thing that I don't think I'm
in the lane where I will have that.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (42:23):
Way you dance, you you write, you act, you're gonna direct?

Speaker 5 (42:28):
And tell me how many dancers, how many writers, how
many directors? Are niggas running up to m hm.

Speaker 4 (42:36):
You're also hot, it's gonna be somebody in a blazer
and some booty shorts.

Speaker 5 (42:40):
A big fan of over truly every now and again,
it's cool. I'm sure some people come up to Jordan people,
but it's not like Beyonce that like that ship sounds
crazy like stars is different And I just think I
don't think that that is like a path. I don't
think I'm on that path. It just doesn't You never know.

Speaker 1 (42:57):
You also have to look at who were talking about.

Speaker 4 (42:59):
I saw women that talking about people are like like,
no one is.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
People don't respect women's down.

Speaker 3 (43:08):
Yes, and that's it, And that's a good thing about
what your mess is about being nice is because when
you're a woman, you want to you don't know how
to tote the line of like I want to I
want to be a boss, but also I want to
be nice to my fans. I don't want people to
think I'm a bitch, but I also want to get
things done and I want to make sure people understand
that I have compassion. But then if you think I

(43:29):
have compassion, then you're gonna think I'm a joke.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Yes, I mean you're gonna take advantage of it.

Speaker 5 (43:33):
Literally talking about the Beyonce when she was asking about
like something and then they're like that's impossible. Literally, I
just like, what are you talking like? And even seeing that,
I was like, this is so important to like see
somebody at that level, to be able to see like
this is Beyonce. And they're still like.

Speaker 1 (43:51):
Ah, she don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 5 (43:54):
Which is fucking nuts.

Speaker 4 (43:55):
But that's another level or layer of why she is
the way she is because as a woman, as a
black woman, even as the person who is at the
top of a game, and she's a perfectionist, so she
likes things done a certain way so that it.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Looks a certain way. You a dusty man in the
union of whatever it is that you do.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
I'm telling you I want this, and you're like, that's impossible. Well,
I don't think he's a dusty man.

Speaker 2 (44:20):
I'm sure.

Speaker 4 (44:21):
I'm sure he's the best of the best, Sydney. I'm
calling him dusty.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
You're gone.

Speaker 4 (44:25):
You can call him whatever you want to call him.
He's the best dusty person on the team. But for
you to look me in my eyes and be like,
oh no, that's that's impossible, Like that means you either
don't know, right, so you can't be the best if
you don't know, or you you know but you don't
want to do it. But you work for me, so again,
you can't be the best. How you say a no

(44:46):
to Beyonce.

Speaker 1 (44:47):
If you're supposed to be the best, you should be
like you figure it out. The best makes mistakes. I
don't know that. I'm I mean yes to this guy.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
But that's where my empathy is, and that my niceness
is that even the best make mistakes.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
People fall.

Speaker 5 (45:01):
Do you know, like he didn't make a mistake. He
dis credited her, like he didn't have the inform That's
the thing, the information. He's just working, Like you didn't
look she can she she.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Put your phone up and googled what she asked him
for and found.

Speaker 5 (45:15):
It so like it wasn't based in anything but his
opinion of what he thought she knew, right, And that's
the thing that.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
Yeah, and so that's what Sydney. You can't be best
if you're like no.

Speaker 5 (45:29):
And that's what I'm saying, like the this kind of
like grace that I'm just giving less grace these days
because I think people deserve less and I think.

Speaker 7 (45:39):
Like, nah, deserve less of you, less of my grace
personally in the sense of like I also think that
like there's a certain specificity to being like black and
gay in the sy industry, and I don't think people
see it because they don't see black gay people, like
especially black gay man.

Speaker 5 (45:59):
I think there's such invisibility that people just don't really
consider because within the sphere of like black and then gender,
it kinda is like a subset. But like, I feel
like there's a lot of pressure because people don't know
how to how to view them because there's not a
larger representation. So I feel like in this industry, I

(46:21):
met with all these preconceived notions of like who I
am and who I should be, and when I present
who I am, people literally are like, how do I
interact with this? Because I thought because you were gay
that I can treat you differently than what I would
treat this straight black man. This is true, Now I can't.
But because you're gay, I could treat you like a
woman and me being like, but that just means you

(46:42):
want to mistreat me like it's it's really an insane.

Speaker 4 (46:45):
You're a black gay man, so they want to treat
you like a black lady, and they treat us like
what sheet.

Speaker 6 (46:50):
So ye.

Speaker 7 (46:52):
Weird?

Speaker 5 (46:53):
Which I can't imagine imagine that the best the best.
It's just And that's why I don't think you should
be a nice as you are, because I don't think
people deserve as much grace because I don't think you
are being given that in return, because we would be
further the fuck along.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
That's why you gotta sprinkle the meanness throughout your content.
You hear what I'm saying, Yes, that's why what I do,
what I do. People are like, she's funny, but I
can see that she's somebody that you probably shouldn't play with.
And therefore, when me and Sidney do what we do,
it's count and gaunt. Right, Sydney is the skinny next one,
and I'm like the funny, kind of feisty one.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
But it's like certain.

Speaker 4 (47:32):
Things that I feel like people might take liberties with
Sydney on, they won't be so quick to do it
with me, yes, the people who understand our dynamic.

Speaker 5 (47:39):
And I don't think that like I'm like on the
spectrum of like mean. I think I come off as
kind of like somebody told me recently that I was
mysterious and esoteric, and.

Speaker 4 (47:49):
I was like, another word, we got another word, write
it down, your esoteric, which just.

Speaker 5 (47:54):
Means like specific to a small group of people, which
means basically like, which is like and I've been told
like I remember, and that I've been told that I'm
that I can come up as like stand offish sure
that I don't necessarily exude like please come talk to me.
And I think it's a combination of like me being
like a true like introvert, but also like that is

(48:18):
I don't think people just know they don't know how
to perceive me because I'm not giving that much out
because that's the thing of like I love relationships and
my friends, Like y'all know a version of me that
most people don't, right, because like that's just not what
I present.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
That's what friends are for.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
You should be you with your friends, and everybody else
gets the business, the LinkedIn, the professional, the interview version
of yourself.

Speaker 5 (48:44):
Yes, but I think that version is the version that's
like difficult to like because it's perceived is so widely.
Like people can really be like, oh, that's mean, and
I'm like if I was mean, you fucking die. Like
I'm just being like fucking like neutral. I'm just not
giving anything. Like I approach a lot of things just
like neutral, and people are like because it's not nice,

(49:07):
it's mean, yeah, And I'm like, nah, it's not. So
I feel like if less people were neutral, I could
exist in a place that would make me more comfortable.

Speaker 1 (49:16):
Can you tell us.

Speaker 4 (49:17):
About the time that you were nice and it came
back and it kind of blew up in your face
or like wasn't good for you? Because like, I think
we've all had moments like that. Like, were you really
nice to you helped somebody with the bag at the
airport and then you missed your flight, like.

Speaker 5 (49:37):
I recently helped someone. They were living in my place,
like let them stay there, and then they I basically
them like I don't like my space is very important
to me. And then I don't like people in my house,
especially in my bedroom. I came back to my house
and there was like a used condom on my floor

(49:59):
and they basically fuck someone in my bed. But then
when I confronted them, they were like, oh, we didn't
really fun because they were really drunk and they pee.

Speaker 4 (50:06):
They pe where I'd rather you have sex in my
bed than you pee in my bed. But that's why
I would. I would be like, you got to get
the air mattress, you got to be on the couch, like.

Speaker 5 (50:17):
That's the thing. He was in my guest room, pet
on that one first, and then they went to.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
My bedroom and this is your fault for having a guest.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
It was it a dog? How what grown peeing? Why
do you earn a guest room two beds one night?

Speaker 5 (50:32):
And I said oh okay, you said okay, oh no,
just me being not like like no, they had to
like they had to get out and then I'm no
longer the friend.

Speaker 8 (50:42):
You know.

Speaker 5 (50:42):
It was just after that switch and be like oh no,
like I will, this is done. But it was just
one of those moments and be like, how do how
did we get here? For me? Just like being nice
like that was.

Speaker 3 (50:54):
Like that, how did how did the pee get there?
And then you didn't clean it up? How did that happen?

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Did you send them a bill for two new mattresses?

Speaker 5 (51:03):
Are they paid for somebody to clean my bed and.

Speaker 2 (51:06):
I need a new mattress? Just take it all out, give.

Speaker 5 (51:09):
Me new like mattress topper, and did all these like
but it was just I would I've never experienced something like.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
That that is in the bed.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
I have not.

Speaker 5 (51:21):
He said the person was really drunk.

Speaker 4 (51:23):
Come some some say squirt is p but but then
in that case the bed there it is same SAMEA man.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
I can't believe that happened.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
But I mean, take when but this is a series
of you probably being nice to this person over and
over and over again, and once you extend and they
feel like, oh I probably could just pull some a
stunt like this, they do it.

Speaker 5 (51:53):
Yeah, this is why I just feel like I've been
approaching more situations from a more neutral place, so then
I have have to have more discernment on who I
should give this level of nice and kindness and consideration too.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
Yeah, I have a friend who.

Speaker 4 (52:11):
Had somebody that was working for her and she was traveling,
She's on vacation or whatever, and this person was supposed
to like watch her house and like you know, water
plans or whatever whatever, and they like had a party.
They took it upon themselves to have a party in
her home while she was gone, it makes sense, and.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
Stuff got damaged.

Speaker 4 (52:32):
I don't know if anybody peed on anything, but maybe
maybe like stuff like and she had like stuff that
they're supposed to take care of that didn't get taken
care of because this person was busy having a you know,
a drug.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Fueled party in her home.

Speaker 4 (52:47):
And then when she called them out on it, they
tried to like deny, deny and deny, but like the
house was damaged, Like how do you want to throw
a party or have a guest or blah blah, Like
if you won't do it, you gotta.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
Do it and then leave no te evidence.

Speaker 5 (53:02):
So I wouldn't have no like I just and if
it would have stayed in the guest room you want, Like,
I'm not a dictator, Like I'm not telling you who watching. Yeah,
I'm just like this is just my space. And I
expressed like what this means to me and like and
that was just shipped on And it's just it's a

(53:22):
very simple, like I try to live life, like treat
people how you want to be treated. It's very simple.
But like it's such a easy thing to do, like
and I'm just like I would never do that's crazy,
Like I just wouldn't do that. Also, somebody who has
a house, like I don't.

Speaker 4 (53:36):
Know better, who needs a diaper?

Speaker 1 (53:41):
I don't know that.

Speaker 5 (53:43):
I'm like, if this person is drunk enough to where
they piss, and why are you.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
What would you want to be with that?

Speaker 5 (53:48):
What's that about?

Speaker 2 (53:51):
You don't.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
And I will say this, sometimes who people date, it
runs off and the spillage hits their friend and stuff.
And so that's why sometimes you can't be nice about
how people date. It's like if you're dating all these
lucy goosey people who ain't got no sense, I mean,
it's gonna it's gonna hit home eventually. You say you
got a police When people date, not police, but if

(54:15):
it's like someone's constantly coming to you with the can
you believe this person did this? And nada da da
da da da, and it's like, so now I have
to hear the trauma dumping of your dating life when
it's like, yes, I know these people are trash.

Speaker 2 (54:31):
Absolutely, the dating.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
Pool is basuda, but you have to have discernments, okay,
so that we're not Sometimes you don't want to hear
this stuff all the time. Sometimes I hear these tiktoks
where people are constantly talking about these dates and I'm like, again, sister,
it's been four dates in the month and all of

(54:55):
it is every single thing is bad and they never
say what they're doing.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
So you're just dating bad people. You don't do nothing.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
But you gotta take TikTok with a grain of salt.
People do dumb stuff to go viral.

Speaker 5 (55:09):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
They're like, Y'a'm gonna go on this.

Speaker 4 (55:10):
Girl strip and I'm only gonna bring seventeen dollars get
ready with me to go ruin my friends birthday. You
know what I'm saying? Yes, absolutely, they're like I just
want to go viral.

Speaker 3 (55:23):
They're like, yeah, so I'm about to get evicted, but
I'm gonna go on to this state.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
And I'm gonna see if this guy's gonna pay my bills.

Speaker 5 (55:29):
Like what you're like with like real people, I'm like
and I'm very okay with my friends make like making
bad choices, having flaws. I just need them to know that,
Like once you come to me, I'm gonna tell you
how I feel. After that, I'm gonna stop caring. I'm
I'm just like, oh, no, like do it like when
you move to Los Angeles. I said, dun't.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
You said don't literally and then not say dumb young,
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (55:56):
You said don't give up the cats and don't go
and You're like, I don't know if you gonna like la,
but also you were just like, don't give it the cat.

Speaker 5 (56:03):
I was like, I don't know, Like I like, just
based off who I know you to be, I think
this will create a situation where you might be unhappy.
And then she said no, like I'm gonna do it,
and then I said okay, I like that's all we
could do. And it was what it was like, you
still like had your time, had a good time, you
like moved for love, yes, and then later you're like damn,

(56:23):
like maybe I shouldn't have did that, And then I
was like yes, uh huh, but like if you're choosing
to have this person in your life, I'm just like, oh,
like I'm choosing to have you like and flaws and
all like see anyone.

Speaker 1 (56:38):
Like this to the cattle.

Speaker 4 (56:39):
I did not no no, no, that's not what happened.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
No no no.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
I made sure that they were rehome properly with the
with the responsible person.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Don't do that.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
But also it's like why play everything safe, like you're
not going to.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Do everything right.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
So I made that risk, and I said, hey, this
is what love does. Love makes you be like I'm
packing up all my stuff and I'm going to LA.

Speaker 5 (57:04):
And the thing like if you would have came to
me again, and that's thing like that if.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
I did that, you didn't like you did it again.
Everybody that knows you would be like nelsis yes, but
I don't think that you would do that.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
You no, no no.

Speaker 5 (57:17):
And I think like people have to live the life
that they live in terms of like relationship, like I
don't want to be the like trum like the trauma
dn't like in order for us to have like a
semiotic relationship. If you a fuck up, I know that cool,
but then you have to know that, like, I am
very solution oriented, So how are we going to meet
in the middle. You can keep sucking up, but if

(57:38):
you come to me talking about how many times you're
gonna keep sucking up and you don't want a solution,
don't come to me. So I feel like my friends know,
Like I've had friends like come to me to be
like hey, I'm just like looking to talk and I'm like, great,
I know how to be there. But if you're coming
for a solution, I'm like, cool, I know how to
do that too. But like some some of my friends
don't talk to me about certain things because they're like, oh,
I know who you are, and I'm like, in this way,

(57:59):
we have a good friend ship because you're not expecting
me to fill a role. You know, I'm not going
to feel just like I'm not expecting you to be
on time if I know you always late.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
We were talking to.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
Yeah, that was crazy, that was wild. I can't shots
fired on June. Yes, technically that was my general Well
you were looking directly at her because from me, woo
you But you didn't look my way.

Speaker 5 (58:22):
Because I was just simply talking wow across. I don't
have a problem with you being late.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
This is true. I've never kept Danne waiting for really, we've.

Speaker 5 (58:31):
Never had like and that's not an issue, like and
that doesn't matter to me. But like then there's like
because I had a friend who really hated that when
when I was late, and I was like, okay, this
really matters.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
How late are you though doing not very lately.

Speaker 5 (58:43):
I just think she just thought it was disrespectful.

Speaker 2 (58:45):
I need some I need time time.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
Time. You're supposed to be there two o'clock. What time
you getting there?

Speaker 5 (58:49):
Probably like two fifteen, two thirty now, yeah, that's mash
that'sh no no, no, no, no no, but take it back,
take it back.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
Hated when I was not really a late thirty.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
You're pushing it.

Speaker 5 (59:03):
But I heard her and I said, Okay, this matters
to you, so for her matter for everybody. For everybody,
it don't.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
So if you're saying we're in LA two, in LA
two means two thirty.

Speaker 5 (59:16):
Yeah, And this is why sometimes when I talk to
people now, i'd be like, oh too ish, And then
when speaking closer, I'll give you a more definitive time.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
But ish for me is like two fifteen thirty exactly.

Speaker 5 (59:27):
It's just giving room. It's giving a little let it breathe,
let it air rate.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
Okay, you get a fifteen minute grace period for reservations,
that's it.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Fifteen minutes, that's it.

Speaker 3 (59:38):
After fifteen minutes, you are being the table's being let go.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
Yes, you're being rude and the person should leave.

Speaker 4 (59:45):
I think I think more people need to leave when
people are that late get.

Speaker 5 (59:50):
About that would be fair. Like the friend the X
men and the piston my bed, we had a post
conversation and I was like, oh, I don't want to
be a friend, and they were like, but why. I
said no, no, no, like this was the boundary that was
big enough for me. That was crous. I don't think
I want to have a further doge, but.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
Why you and or somebody else peeding in two of
my beds. You ask me why?

Speaker 5 (01:00:10):
And then they were like, oh, well you've like crossed
boundaries of mine and I given you grace, and then
I said you shouldn't have then like, I don't judge
me by the way that you should.

Speaker 4 (01:00:20):
My friend, if you forgave me you can't now throw
it back in my face.

Speaker 5 (01:00:25):
Yeah, you forgive me, I don't know what you want
from me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Forgiveness is mess.

Speaker 3 (01:00:29):
I will say that forgiving is mess because yes, I'm like, okay,
I'm not mad at it anymore, right, and we are
moving forward, But I.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
Have not forgotten.

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
And how can I forgive if I still remember the
shit that you did, because then when you do something
else that's gonna trigger me, that's a capital T for me.
And I'm like, oh, you back on your bullshit. So
now I got to bring it up again. But it's
like I thought you forgave it. Nah, I did forgive
what you want that bullshit?

Speaker 4 (01:01:00):
And i'ma mention it again now because yeah, but like
you open the door, it becomes data.

Speaker 5 (01:01:06):
But if it's still affecting you emotionally, then maybe you ain't.
It's just like like, if it's still like triggering you,
that is a sign that you ain't work through that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Now.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
I gotta work through it. Now, I gotta work through
something that you did to me.

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
No, my thing is this.

Speaker 4 (01:01:20):
If you tell me you forgave me and you still
in it, then you did not forgive me. You can't
say I forgive you and it's good and then be like,
but I won't forget, Like, sure you can remember it,
but if you've thrown it back in my face every
time we have any type of issue, then babe.

Speaker 5 (01:01:38):
You didn't forget.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
Please, You're harboring.

Speaker 8 (01:01:41):
Right, harboring. It's very very You do a world of
to day, you know, a word of asshole.

Speaker 6 (01:01:52):
For sure, I'm gonna do my wordle right now. You'll
get it for to day? Is it mess to do
my world during the public, you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:16):
Know, talking to you doane being with you, I you know,
constantly am like damn, maybe I do need to work
on being less nice.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
But I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:02:28):
Sometimes being nice or empathetic or whatever, it just it
fills me up and be like Okay, yeah, like this
is not a bad thing. I am gonna get, you know,
fucked over it sometimes and people are gonna take advantage
and you know, that's just how the cookie crumbles. But
I do get a lot of people who, you know,
I sometimes forget how we first met and they're like, Sidney,

(01:02:50):
you know, I didn't know nobody and you were.

Speaker 1 (01:02:52):
At this point, you were so nice.

Speaker 3 (01:02:54):
You were just like made me feel comfortable and not
like a stranger, and it made me like feel like
I was in and thank you for that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
And I'm like, that's how I treat.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
Most people because anybody could be anybody, And what's the
what's the point of being you know, reserved.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
When it's like, oh, if we match, then just school.

Speaker 3 (01:03:14):
But if you show me that you're you know, you're weird,
I might still be your friend.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
But yeah, like I.

Speaker 5 (01:03:23):
Know, I'm not saying don't be empathetic and don't be
nice at all. I'm just saying the the expectation for
me to perform niceness so that you feel better is
what I'm saying. I don't want to.

Speaker 2 (01:03:36):
Do I don't want to do it.

Speaker 5 (01:03:37):
Okay, Like, if it feels organic to be nice, I'm
going to be nice because that's who I am. But
there's just like certain spaces where niceness is prioritized in
a way where like other things could also be prioritized.

Speaker 1 (01:03:49):
Who's the nicest person?

Speaker 5 (01:03:50):
You know, Sidney is like one of them, foolish.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
One of the one of the most fools that you.

Speaker 5 (01:03:57):
Know, Yes, yeahs like and in Nate just like and
it's so funny to be living with her and seeing
like I feel like there's parts of me that she's
now seeing that and we're like interacting where I'm like, oh,
you genuinely are really nice and me being like stupid.
You don't have to be instance because like I also

(01:04:18):
think I'm nice, Like I don't think I'm like like,
I think I'm very.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
Nice, but then you watch Sydney and you're like, am
I nice?

Speaker 5 (01:04:25):
And that's the thing. Like I was talking to a friend,
I'm nice in situations where I feel like I am nice,
and then in a certain situations just like, oh, I
don't think this car Like there was a moment earlier
where I had to pick and choose when I was nice.
We were getting smoothies and this woman just ordered her
smoothie before me and I was already there, and I

(01:04:48):
had to tell myself, like, this is a moment where
I could be like, hey, I was already here. I
literally said, this is not a moment where that is going.
I don't think that's going to serve me. This is
like an older woman.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
She's wearing floral. I'm like, okay, live your life lime.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
Green to toenail polish. You don't want it with her.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
She's Jamaican.

Speaker 5 (01:05:06):
I said you didn't want to wear her doesn't matter.
But then yesterday I was like, walking to Central Park,
there's a guy just like standing in the middle, just
like in the way, I mean, being like, why are
you sir?

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
Oh? I already know what. He looked like, move everybody
you're talking about I know.

Speaker 5 (01:05:21):
And that was a moment where I was like, I
want to be meaner then I'm going to be, but
I'm not because that also like I don't know this man,
but like, so.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
What did you say to the man in the middle
of the sidewalk?

Speaker 5 (01:05:32):
I said, come on, man, oh god, you're in New
York now, you're a New Yorker.

Speaker 4 (01:05:36):
No, a real New Yorker would have been like, get
out of the way.

Speaker 5 (01:05:39):
And that's what I wanted to say, is get the
fuck out the way. But I was like, this is
like if I do that, what now? Like I literally
was walking with a friend. We were in Central Park
maybe a couple months ago, and it was a situation
where like some guy said something and he kind of
like responded and the guy kind of snapped, and I
was like, I'm really Chicago. I've had situations where things

(01:06:01):
have escalated to death quickly, so I again discernment and
been like, what is the what is this moment called for?
Do I give that energy? I could, but I'm not.
But I do think there were in certain situations where
I'm like, oh, this this energy is called calls for
and it's never like I don't argue. I'm not like
I'm not that person, but I do think there's like

(01:06:23):
a curtainess to me having to get my point across.
I was at some event in LA and some some
white lady turned around and shushed me in a.

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
Very rude way. Were you watching the quiet place?

Speaker 5 (01:06:36):
No? I was at like a I was like at
some like I like hosted this event the year before,
so they invited me the next year just to come.
There was like people behind me talking and she turned
around and shushed me like it was just so rude,
and I before I knew it, I like rolled up
on her and was like, Hey, who the fuck are
you talking to? And I said, it's so quiet, Like

(01:06:58):
it wasn't like it was like.

Speaker 4 (01:07:00):
She need to be like you should have lean in
to hear you curse her.

Speaker 5 (01:07:02):
Up And that's kind of like the way, and like
I was like, Oh, this is the energy I have
to have because I need her to know, watch your
fucking mouth, like, that's rude, you don't know me. Thank
you for that, but I have to say it in
a way that was not like ra because that's not
the energy I'm trying. I just need you to know
how I feel.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
What did she say when you said that?

Speaker 5 (01:07:21):
She was like exactly and literally I said exactly exactly.
Then I walked away and the point was made. There
was not another moment and I said this is And
that was a moment where I was like, Okay, this
energy was needed in this moment to convey what I
needed to convey. I didn't need to do too much,
but I needed her to know.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
Quiet cursing. I'm adding that to my tool box.

Speaker 5 (01:07:42):
I think it is so help.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
Hey, that fuck are you talking? I don't know. I
think I think that's a lot. I think that's a
that just feels like.

Speaker 3 (01:07:51):
No, a lot is screaming and no, a lot a
lot of energy to be like to go back to
somebody like you're talking to you.

Speaker 5 (01:07:59):
Is just yeah, what you're talking to?

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
Hey?

Speaker 5 (01:08:04):
Exactly?

Speaker 1 (01:08:05):
Who the fuck?

Speaker 5 (01:08:06):
And it was like and that was all. And my
friend that I was with he was like, oh, I've
never seen you that way, and I was just like,
I felt it was so rude for this woman to
think that she has that level of control, like authority.
You don't know me. That's really rude. And it was
like not, it was just just like, oh, like, can
you quiet down? It was like a shut up and

(01:08:27):
me being like, Hey, who the fuck are you talking to? Yeah,
that's crazy, ma'am.

Speaker 4 (01:08:35):
I'm gonna quietly curse somebody out this week. I'm putting
that in my toolbox and I'm putting it in my.

Speaker 5 (01:08:41):
Toe Because she had no she just was so shocked
that I would say something back. So you just thought
you was just Oh so you thought like, oh so
you can just say anything without repercussions. No, Actually, you
should think about what you say to people, because I
do all the time. I have to down was a problem.
So learning a lesson today, and the lesson is watch
your fucking mouth.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
Don't let it happen again.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
Yeah, but that's a lesson that she learned. But I'm
sure she's gonna do that shit again.

Speaker 5 (01:09:08):
She didn't gon do it to.

Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
Me, and that's what matters, And that's the lesson.

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
There might be another person that you I mean if
every time it just feels like I have to do
this every single time.

Speaker 5 (01:09:19):
Did do it to the lady with this mooie? No,
do it to the man on the street.

Speaker 4 (01:09:23):
No.

Speaker 5 (01:09:24):
That That's what I'm talking about, discernment walking.

Speaker 1 (01:09:26):
Down the street, the room.

Speaker 4 (01:09:27):
I was walking down the street yesterday and there was
a group of people on the sidewalk, and you know,
they had on those clear raincoats, so you can already
visualize the people I'm talking about, you know what I mean,
like the rain the rain puncho that goes over their
clothes that they bought a CBS or whatever. And I'm
coming up and I'm coming fast because you know I'm late,

(01:09:49):
I'll be late. And even when I'm not late to something,
I'm from New York, so I walk quick.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
So I'm walking.

Speaker 4 (01:09:54):
Fast, and this guy just steps out just into the
middle of the sidewalk. So I had to kind of
v you're like at the last second around him, and
I didn't say anything, but I fully turned around to
be like ough, and he was like, sometimes you don't
even have to you don't have to say anything being.

Speaker 5 (01:10:12):
An expression yeah, to be like hey, I was like,
and he was like.

Speaker 3 (01:10:17):
I just feel like there's so much of that in
New York, like that everybody's always making faces saying stuff
like I feel like this is the city of people
always getting the getting they shit off, they telling people, Hey,
you are my way, I don't like you around me.
You smell bad. This is weird, this is ugly, like.

Speaker 5 (01:10:36):
Your opinion to the mix, and I'm back and now
I'm embracing it in a way that I just didn't before.
I'm like, there's a space for this, and I think
I'm in a season where I'm glad I'm in New
York right now because that's I'm feeling very New York
right now, and that I see it.

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
You've definitely encompassed all of that in this in this interview.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
Friend.

Speaker 5 (01:10:57):
But you know, I'm so very sweet, very now.

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
It's super sweet. Tell the people listening the top three
nicest things, the sweetest things about you.

Speaker 5 (01:11:09):
I think I'm very considered. I think that when I'm
doing stuff, I consider how I'm going to affect the
people the space. I think I'm very empathetic. There's not
much I can't talk about or like stepping someone's shoes
to see their point of view. And also I think
I'm pretty like loose with my money.

Speaker 1 (01:11:30):
Oh, we love loose with the money.

Speaker 5 (01:11:32):
I'm trying to get better.

Speaker 1 (01:11:33):
No, no, no, keep it loose.

Speaker 5 (01:11:37):
A lot of survivors remorse. So somebody and.

Speaker 3 (01:11:41):
You got you got a lot of you know, when
you have family connected to family, you feel like and.

Speaker 5 (01:11:46):
Money really be beating people's as So yeah, and personally
I do think that's like I think people put a
lot on money, and so if I like give somebody money,
I feel like they're really like, oh, this is so helpful.
And me being like I had to press two buttons
on my phone. That's so much better than being like,
can can you help me move? I'm like, now I
gotta do stuff like money moved so easy.

Speaker 1 (01:12:07):
I send you a link to piece of cake movers.

Speaker 5 (01:12:09):
Yeah, and so like, I feel like that's just like
an easy way to help people, and at a time
where people really need help.

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
Okay, well we have a little we have a message.

Speaker 3 (01:12:18):
Wait, no, I wanted to ask you, Marie, what's the
three nicest things you've done?

Speaker 1 (01:12:21):
Oh, three nicest things I've done.

Speaker 4 (01:12:23):
I had a show last night and this girl came
up to me and she was like, I'm a comedian.
I just moved to New York. I've seen your reels
online and I had to come meet you. I had
to come see you in real life. And I said, oh,
and I hugged her and.

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
She was shocked. She was like, oh my god. And
she was like, and you smell good. And I was
like yeah, but that was me being nice.

Speaker 4 (01:12:46):
Because I don't hug everybody and I don't want to
be touched by everybody. Number Two, nicest thing that I
you said, nicest thing that I did, or things about
me that are nice. Yeah, I mean yeah, we got
to donate some boots to Mecca.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
It's nice, okay.

Speaker 4 (01:13:03):
And you know, I was talking to my mom on
the phone today and a lot of times when we
speak to our parents, sometimes they say things and it's
like annoying to us. And today we had a conversation
and she said something that typically I would maybe be like, ugh,
what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:13:20):
But I laughed and me and my mom and she
laughed and.

Speaker 4 (01:13:23):
We had this like really nice moment of like laughing together.
And I just had this moment of like, oh, my
mom is like she's just a girl, you know what
I mean, Like, you know what I'm like, and because
she's somebody who i'm so we're like.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
The same personality.

Speaker 4 (01:13:41):
We bump heads a lot, and so when I laughed
and she laughed, I just felt like, what's.

Speaker 1 (01:13:46):
The laugh time? Last time we laughed together? So that
was it. Those are my three things. It was just nice,
this is nice.

Speaker 4 (01:13:52):
I'm just gonna you know, she's not gonna be here forever.
So it was just like a nice, simple.

Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
Moment of like, what, he's just a girl. I don't
think we need to ask you with three nice things.

Speaker 4 (01:14:03):
You're nice, no, yeah, yeah, but three mean things, three mean.

Speaker 1 (01:14:08):
Things, three things that.

Speaker 3 (01:14:10):
You were like, uh, you know, I like, I guess
I had a falling out with a friend and I
could have like addressed it in a way where I'm like,
let's let's bring it back, Like I just it was
just a straight like no, I'm not good.

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
That would be considered mean.

Speaker 3 (01:14:29):
But it's like I'm I feel like I am so
nice and so understanding that if you get me to
the point of it like I'm not speaking to you
any more.

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
You got to figure that out.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Yeah, because yeah, because it's like I don't just cut
people off or if you do something, if you cross
or boundary with me, that's just like so weird. It's
hard for me to like communicate how weird this was.
I'll just I'll just cut you off as well, because
it's just like, yeah, you did that, cool for you,
but that's that's not going to rock with me. And

(01:15:00):
so when I cut people off, it is a little
mean because I'm like, I don't I don't care anymore.
I don't want to explain, I don't want to make
it right.

Speaker 2 (01:15:08):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:15:09):
I just don't care. I'm like, bye, that's it. So
that that's how I would say it is my mean.

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
Yeah, and I've witnessed this.

Speaker 4 (01:15:16):
Yeah, I witnessed this like maybe two times, and I'm like, Okay, that.

Speaker 6 (01:15:22):
Made me.

Speaker 4 (01:15:25):
No more.

Speaker 1 (01:15:29):
I love that.

Speaker 4 (01:15:30):
I mean, you know, you got to stand on business.
And when Sydney stands on it, she actually stands on
it with her heels in a cute in a cute boot,
in a cute snake skin boot. All right, we have
a message from a listener. I'm gonna read it and
then you can tell us, you know, how are you
feel about it? You know, hey, Sidney and Marie, I'm
a big fan of you two, and the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:15:51):
Thanks girl.

Speaker 4 (01:15:52):
Yeah, I listened religiously each week. Please do a show
in stl soon. That's Saint Louis, right, I think so stl.

Speaker 1 (01:16:01):
Oh, yeah, gimme, gimme Toper.

Speaker 4 (01:16:07):
My mess is that I let a man fuck me
up during the first week of Pride Month.

Speaker 7 (01:16:11):
Whoa.

Speaker 4 (01:16:12):
I've dated women and men my entire adult life. Every
time I entertained a man, it feels like a form
of self harm.

Speaker 1 (01:16:19):
Oh, relate.

Speaker 4 (01:16:24):
I met this man at a bar through a mutual friend.
We exchanged Instagrams, but it didn't go anywhere. Fast forward
to a few weeks ago. I saw we were in
the same part of town. I invited him to the
bar to hang out with me and my friend. We
hit it off. We had a sleepover that night, but
didn't hook up. Okay, he took me to breakfast the
next morning.

Speaker 1 (01:16:41):
It was sweet.

Speaker 4 (01:16:42):
Next thing, you know, we're talking, hanging out often, and
hooking up.

Speaker 1 (01:16:45):
He told me he was insecure.

Speaker 4 (01:16:47):
I didn't see it as a red flag until he
started commenting on my body. He made a comment about
my breast implants, my pubic hair.

Speaker 1 (01:16:55):
Oh, he preferred a bush.

Speaker 4 (01:16:57):
Asked when I was going to get my hair done,
and if I liked wearing my hair up, insinuating that
I looked better with it down.

Speaker 1 (01:17:05):
Preach not the only straight man. I knew something wasn't right.

Speaker 4 (01:17:16):
But the final wake up call was when I told
my friend that he goes to therapy four times a week.

Speaker 1 (01:17:20):
I didn't even know we could do that.

Speaker 3 (01:17:22):
I didn't know that it's not the same It can't
be the same person. There's no four different therapists in
a week. Two that's maybe worse.

Speaker 4 (01:17:31):
Okay, the part that fucked me up is when I
ended things. He said he wanted to end it the
night before, but he wanted me to speak my peace.
My sassy self said peace and he said and he said, no,
it's peace peace as in p.

Speaker 1 (01:17:44):
I E C E. And then she said peace peace
and he said, no, it's p I E C guy's
and asshole. He got me good.

Speaker 4 (01:17:51):
I attached I'd attached a photo of him, but he
blocked me immediately on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:17:56):
This has been my gay awakening. Is it mess or
just living? Full? Full mess?

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
Full mess?

Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
Never never give these man meant any any chance to
pull a stunt like that. That's that's crazy. You should
be thankful.

Speaker 5 (01:18:12):
I wonder if he was tall and his beard connected,
because you literally told her a red flag and she
said that's fine.

Speaker 1 (01:18:19):
Yeah, And I really wish we had a photo because
I need to know.

Speaker 5 (01:18:23):
That's the problem is that she had an out and
she didn't take it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:30):
Yeah. Yeah, but I think the first night kind of
set the tone of it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:35):
And I think that's what why she had blinders on, right,
because they had a good time, they slipped over but
didn't hook up, and then he took her to breakfast
the next morning, so it's like, oh, this is a
nice guy. Yeah, so all you you have this vision
of him at up top sweet. He does after that
is the opposite of that, but you still you remember
him as sweet.

Speaker 5 (01:18:55):
And I think that's the problem. This is an evening
and a morning girl. You need more information. Yeah, and
then he told you you ended here and you don't
put that into the other information. Like so the idea
of like putting so much emphasis on the good is
because she wanted to write and that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:14):
He must have been tall and his beard fully connected
all the way around.

Speaker 4 (01:19:17):
I need to see, well, I want to know did
she find out he was in therapy four times a
week before the comments or after, like, when did she
when did she find out?

Speaker 2 (01:19:28):
She found out after?

Speaker 4 (01:19:29):
It says the final wake up call was when I
told my friend, oh, wait, no, she must have already known.

Speaker 1 (01:19:34):
No, she already knew when I told my friend that
he goes to therapy four times a week, So you
knew he went to therapy four times a week.

Speaker 3 (01:19:41):
And then the firm was probably like, bitch, nah, he
might have he might have been he might have been
in one of those those rooms that's patted.

Speaker 1 (01:19:48):
Your friend said, girl, you dain'ting hanibal lectum four times
a week is wild. I've never even heard of that.

Speaker 2 (01:19:53):
I didn't even know you.

Speaker 4 (01:19:54):
Could do that when you were in speech, when you
were in kindergarten for the study, how many times a
week did you go to that?

Speaker 5 (01:20:00):
I think I was like once a week. Back, I
couldn't even talk, like that's four times a week.

Speaker 2 (01:20:08):
Very scary.

Speaker 1 (01:20:09):
I think it's I think it's living, giving people a chance.
I guess twenty four times a month, but it's it's
some Wait, that's twenty four times a month. Yeah, thirty
days in a month.

Speaker 6 (01:20:20):
It's that.

Speaker 1 (01:20:22):
Yeah, how is he affording us? What is his insurance?

Speaker 5 (01:20:25):
Like, maybe he really has like some really deep traumas,
which is like like not like trying to really be empathetic.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
Look at you.

Speaker 5 (01:20:34):
I think that like she should have recognized if that
was something she was willing to put up with pretty
early on. Like I just think people really deal with
things that they don't have to. Because he was talking
about her titties and all these other things, Like at
what point, Like was that first night really that good
that all this other shit just didn't matter? Like was

(01:20:57):
that breakfast just like the bomb.

Speaker 4 (01:21:00):
Ain't no grand slam good enough? Ain't in the VIP
at Denny's? Like why were you sever I hoop?

Speaker 1 (01:21:09):
Is never that popping? No way?

Speaker 5 (01:21:11):
I mean? And also if you not like in it,
be one for that, Like I think, like and maybe
it's just not your man you were hooking up. Maybe
I'm too much of a realist, but I'm like, what
are the steaks like? And I'm always conscious of like
if you leave my life right now, what would change?
And if it's anything more than just like joy, then
it's too much like and and that's the thing, like

(01:21:32):
it shouldn't the stakes don't feel that high? Like possibly
like good sex, good times you can get that from
like multiple, multiple people.

Speaker 4 (01:21:41):
I think that's just living. I think that is the
question that people need to ask themselves. If you leave
my life right now, what would change a lot of
people don't think like that. They like, they see what
they have and they want just that and it's like, but.

Speaker 1 (01:21:54):
If this person wasn't here, you will still be good.

Speaker 5 (01:21:56):
Yeah, so you might be you might be better literally
still getting You just have to find something else to do.

Speaker 1 (01:22:01):
You would have you would have more free time, or
you would have time to steal some art like this.

Speaker 3 (01:22:07):
The saddest the saddest thing about this is that this
is happening during Pride.

Speaker 2 (01:22:11):
Why would you have all months to do this? Like
I'm giving somebody a chance Pride.

Speaker 5 (01:22:17):
She was trying to be queer and outside and put
herself in.

Speaker 3 (01:22:22):
You're a lesbian friend, You're okay, But we learn, we
learned these hard lessons doing through. Some of us, you know,
get called you know that their titties are weird or whatever.
And then other people, you know, they go to a
man's house and is he doesn't have electricity?

Speaker 2 (01:22:38):
So who am I to judge?

Speaker 1 (01:22:40):
Dwayne?

Speaker 3 (01:22:41):
Thank you so much for being so insightful. I mean,
you really know you laid it on thick.

Speaker 1 (01:22:46):
You were unapologetically yourself. We need that at Mess.

Speaker 5 (01:22:50):
Yeah, I didn't think I was gonna give doctor Phil, but.

Speaker 1 (01:22:52):
You did you truly did you?

Speaker 4 (01:22:54):
Doctor Uncle Phil, Doctor Umar Phil Iyana van Zen?

Speaker 1 (01:23:02):
Not on my watch? What do you have coming up? Dwayne? Where?

Speaker 2 (01:23:04):
Where can people catch you?

Speaker 1 (01:23:06):
When does the blackenning to come out?

Speaker 4 (01:23:07):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:23:07):
Huh?

Speaker 5 (01:23:08):
When I finished? Right, y'all think I'll be in New York.
I'm doing stand up again. I'm doing some shows coming up.
I'm working on a one man show that I'm excited
to put up, so I'll post about that. You can
find me on the grams at Dwayne Perkins. D e
w A y n e W is another nigga. Do
not do that now?

Speaker 1 (01:23:29):
E w A y n E Perkins love it. See
you at dance class and are matching blazers.

Speaker 5 (01:23:35):
I won't be there.

Speaker 1 (01:23:37):
I'm gonna bring you a blazer.

Speaker 4 (01:23:43):
Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast creatd
and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston.

Speaker 1 (01:23:52):
Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonni super produced
by Beca Ramos, edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries.

Speaker 4 (01:24:00):
If you would like your messages read on air, please
email us at messthpodcast at gmail dot com, or call
for your messages to be played at seven six three
two eight zero six five eight eight

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Hosts And Creators

Sydnee Washington

Marie Faustin

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