Local Love Island

This week the ladies are BACK solo! Sydnee and Marie are talking all things scam and Love Island MESS. 

Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Listening to mess Are you saying my titties hanglo? Is
that what? Okay? But we've talked numerous times about you
wanted to get them, so maybe you should be doing
some push my non expert opinion, how are you doing?
How are you doing? You know? I feel like we

(00:23):
kind of switched spots. I think we're doing a Freaky Friday.
What you mean When I first knew you, you wasn't
working out and I was, And now I'm trying to
get back into working out because you're doing it to
me so effortlessly, right forty five days, I'm like, Wow,
Sydney's doing it. Let me see if I could do
Friday in a row. And now I'm looking at apartments.

(00:47):
So so you working out and I'm looking at apartments,
and I do I feel like we Freaky Friday? For sure?
We did, we both Lindsay Lohanna. Well, let's talk about
the apartments. What's going on? Well, I've only gotten to
see two. I saw two yesterday and I was like,
there's no reason why you guys should be letting people
see this. This is bad. That's what they do. Both apartments,

(01:07):
they were both the people still live there. The first
one I walked in, the dogs started barking. Immediately. I
don't want that. I don't want to be in the
dog's house, and he don't want me in his house either.
And then they were like, careful, there's a bunny. Why
is there a bunny? Whoa, there's a bunny going ei
ei yo yeah Donald McDonald yeah. So I want to

(01:28):
see it. And the prices that I saw online is
not the prices that he was telling me. They were
in person, and I was like, okay, so the first
one fine, hated the kitchen. They were like, let's just
go to the third, the fourth floor to see the
second unit and fourth floor walk up. I was about
to say no, they didn't. No, they did that. This

(01:52):
is what they do. They did it, girl. What's the address?
We gotta pull up? Girl? So I go up and
the ceilings are way taller, but it's like unfinished. It's
all like wood planks. I feel like I was that
was ei e I oh, because I felt like it
was in a barn. Really is that? I know it's
bugs in here. I know there are spiders and termites,

(02:15):
and the ceiling was innocent as that. Basically, we're the
whole apartment ceiling was just wood planks going all the
way across and I'm like, it's very farmhouse chic. And
they had a bunny too. What's going on now? What
neighborhood is this? This is Crown Heights, Crown hid as Bunnies.
Well they got changed white people in it, and the

(02:35):
white people have bunnies. Bunnies don't belong in Crown Heights
and Bushwick. I see a bunny in bush Bushwick bunnies, Yeah,
but on the J train, absolutely, but not in Crown Heights. Yeah.
And this bunny, the first floor bunny was hiding. The
second floor bunny in the living room eating the rug.
Hold on watching it. Wait, rip the rug up. They
had the bunny out. The bunny was out. Maybe he

(02:56):
was also a realtor and was like, so to the
left we have you know, he was just he was
eating the rug. Look at the countertops, you know, like that.
There was another lady. I didn't like the County make
our food. I didn't like the countertops. So there was
another woman that was there to see the apartment at
the same time, and she was like, have you have
any issue any issues in this apartment? And you know,
the tenant was there, and she was like, what do

(03:16):
you mean issues? And I was like, you know what
she means. She knows exactly what I mean, exactly what
she means. Don't do that. And I think the better
question should have been why are you leaving? That's a
crazy question. Why are you leaving this apartment? No, I
don't think that's a crazy question. Why are you leaving?
You moving in with your boyfriend? Do you hate the landlord?
Is the land raising your rent by seventy percent? Does

(03:38):
the rabbit need a yard? Like? She was like, I
don't know, what do you mean problems? And the girl
kind of pushed her a little bit and she was like, yeah,
I mean I've only ever seen ants, said ants, she's lying.
Whereas ants, there's roaches. Whereas roaches there's rats. You know what.
I'm so glad that you're on this mission because that's
exactly what I was going through. Girl Girl. And then

(04:01):
she was like, oh, and then if there's like a
really hard like rainy day, it'll leak in the bedroom.
Now the wood is leaking in the bedroom. Yeah, but
I'll just put a I'll just put a bucket there
up a bucket, get a bucket in a mop's girl.
If there's a bucket of loose of just seal water,
that means I know there's bugs here. I told you.

(04:24):
Where there are planks, there are bugs. Where there are leaks,
there's even more bugs. The rabbit was there. I think
maybe he's the security or something. He should just literally
just like, oh yeah, maybe he eats the bugs. Rabbits
do that. We think they're vegetarian. Crown Heights bunnies, Mike

(04:49):
dietary restrictions. That's bushwick bushwait is bugs cries rabbits they're vegan.
You know what I mean? Okay, can't you tell us
how to bunny looked? Was it like fluffy? Was it given?
Let me see if I had didn't have black eyes? Yeah, barely.

(05:10):
I wanted to get the bunny in it. I didn't
get the ceiling, but I did get the bunny. Does
the bunny have an Instagram? Because you already know how
I feel about it. I've been Donnie has some updates.
I'm not gonna mention it, but I just had to
put it out there. Check Donnie. Check Donnie out on TikTok.
They're going to graduations and everything. It's it's wild. This

(05:30):
kid is going to graduations. Girl. Okay, let me see
this bunny under the coffee table, white fat bunny. Oh
my god, it's so cute like you way about. I
don't know. I don't know how much rabbit's weigh fifteen pounds. No,
I don't like this apartment at all. It's almost giving
a little bit of struggling artists. Look at the kitchen.

(05:51):
The kitchen, I don't like the artist. I don't like
the dining table. I was like, that's the table that
grows on a balcony. Like that's an outside table inside?
Like what is it was for the deck? A deck
was in the D three? So what happened to the
other apartment? The press was just more than what I

(06:13):
wanted to pay. Plus we were on the fourth floor.
It was blazing hip hop and it was hot. No hot,
I said, oh, well, heat rises for sure. But I
can't live in a place like this. I ran out
of there real quick. So what are you gonna do?
I've been sending you stuff, you have been sending me stuff,
But I mean, technically I don't really need to move

(06:34):
quite yet. I don't know what my rent is going
up by, so you still have not spoken to this woman.
I haven't spoken to her. No, why would I speak
to her. I mean, I'll message her the other day
because she messaged the other Listen an invisible ink. You
gotta hey, so I see these before she's raising my rental.
It's still gonna be cheaper than what both of those
apartments I saw was yesterday. Really, yes, Plus they're asking

(06:57):
for it, so he sent me an application. I was like, sir,
I did not tell you all wanted this apartment. But
he was like, we need the last we need paystubs,
we need the first four pages of your tax return.
Still haven't done my taxes, We need a blah blah
blah credit score. Credit score is in the trash, So really,

(07:17):
I can't move until I bring it. But since that's
was what I was doing last year, I literally I
was like, nothing was in order. Papers, papers, papers, papers, Well, well,
let me look at the bottom of my closet. Maybe
I'll find those papers that you're looking. Look, you listen,
I'm showing up to the to the to the apartment.
I'm clean, I smell good, I got all my teeth.

(07:38):
You should just let me live here, you know. And
that's what happened with one of the guys. It was
it was a duplex and I really wanted the apartment
and had a washer and dryer and everything, and he's like, listen,
I really want to give you this apartment. You know
it looks like you you have yourself together. Send me
the paperwork. I sent it and he asked me in text,
he said, are you serious? Are you serious? In invisible

(08:00):
or regular and reggae? He said in lowercase was it
a you? Why owe you? Or you serious? He said
are you why? O you serious? Question mark? Question mark?
Question mark? How do you respond to that? I said,
what do you mean? What do you mean? Are you serious?
He's like, are you serious about getting this apartment? I
said absolutely? He said, not what you gave me? What

(08:22):
you gave me? He's like, you you need a guaranteur, Oh,
you need a guaranteur to day. I don't like that.
I don't like that. I mean that because that shook
me up because it was like I could if this
place and it was rent stabilized, Rent stabilized. Marie. I
was tears was coming out my eyes because I was like,
but that means the press was right. Yeah, it was
like twenty one ninety five, and you needed a guaranteur

(08:44):
for that, Yes, that was it was my rent. It
was my credit score. My credit score, well I have
I don't know a year because credit scores go down
quick like you'll lose like eight points out a time.
But when it comes up, it goes up. I want
to say, like five points a month. It goes it

(09:05):
goes up really slow. So no, what it is people?
So now, because now I'm in the credit I don't
know if y'all want to get my ebook, but it's
coming out. But it's about credit utilization. So how much
you use of your credit cards. So it's supposed to
be thirty percent, you're still only supposed to be using

(09:25):
thirty percent if you use more. This is at ninety
nine point nine. So I'm using all of the credit
that I have possible, I'm not using all of it.
What it is is I refuse to pay my student loans.
That's what's making my credit go down. My credit cards
on time, on tim I don't use them all. No,

(09:46):
I don't have all pay but you email me, they
email me do it on time? Yes, I do it
on time. I don't do my student loans on time
at all. So that's that's the only thing you're doing
on time is the credit my phone bill long time.
That's the only thing that I have on autopay because
I need you need your phone, my WiFi auto pay. Well,

(10:08):
they also said, we have to do autopay or we're
gonna charge you more, right, so for the discount. Yes,
you got to do the autopay, But those are the
only things. That's the only thing. Everything else you can
send me a couple of notices to remind me. I'll
pay it eventually. So okay, mess is credit. We got
to get that in order. Mess is looking for an apartment.
Mess is living in New York. Mess is the student loans,

(10:30):
which was which is forever. Oh, let me tell you
what happened to me the other day. I almost got
got Wow, almost got got the student loan thing. Right now,
they said, because Trump don't care about us or anybody, now,
they're reinstating you know, whatever student loans you need to pay.
I think two people's student loans got forgiven, and they're

(10:52):
the only people that are, Like Joel's student loans got forgiven.
She's the only person that I know. And then I
think one other person in America and everybody else. They
were like, no, you still have to be I think
somebody else I know was qualified for the student loan forgiveness.
And she said I had already paid it. I said,
you already paid it. Can you pass it off to
someone else? Right? Double it and give it to somebody else?

(11:13):
The hell? What the helly? What the helly? So then
so someone called me and you know, no offense. I
heard the language barrier, and I already was like, this
might be a scam, supervisor, it might be a scam.
So they're saying, hey, so you qualify for this loan
forgiveness program because you owe you know, X amount of

(11:37):
money for student loans. And I, you know, I don't
know how much I owe. But what she said he
sounded about right. Said she must have my file. Then
she gives my number like whatever, my like barcode or whatever,
my account number for the student loan. And I said, yeah, yeah.
And so they're verifying all this stuff, my email, my birthday,

(11:59):
all it. And I said, so just this person, they
had the information already and you were just confirming that
it was correct. Yes, But then they were like, hey,
your email, your email's not right, and I said, well,
this is the only email I have. They're like, this
is the email you use for business. I said, yes,
this is only email that I use on I don't
have anything else. And then they said, okay, so the
last thing we're gonna need is your social security and

(12:22):
I said, come on man, woman woman said, now you know,
miss I can't do that. Oh no, no, no, absolutely,
you know what. And so the email that you gave me,
I'm going to send you something that you could put
your social security in and then I won't see it.

(12:43):
I said, sure you are, but I'm telling you I
can't do that either. And she said, well, in order
for you to what was the accent? Do it? Do
the accent. I'm not doing an accent, but I'll show
you it's new student assistance or something like that. And
I said, well, I'm gonna I'm gonna not a new student.
I forgot the Hey, guys, if something says knew something assistance,

(13:06):
that is a scam. Because then I said, I'm going
to look on Better Business Bureau and it already had
an alert like this is not a part of the
Better Business Bureau, so it already is already letting me
know that this is what they do. They send me
an email. The email didn't look correct. Nope. And do
you know two years ago, I would have never done
any of that, and I would have just given that
woman my social security number. That's how it got your

(13:27):
AARP information or whatever. You know what. Honestly, I'm thinking
about that. Or I hadn't seen that that debit card
in years, so it could any anybody could have had it.
Some old person stole your debit card and opened an
AARP account with it. And now they're calling you for
your security number. Yeah, somebody, somebody has my somebody, and
I just want to let you know. With my credit

(13:48):
right now, you're not getting anything. Nothing is opening with
my information at Babe. You're gonna need a guarantee. You're
going to need a guaranteur, and the cops might come
after you. So good luck, good luck. I couldn't believe it.
How long were you on the phone with this person?

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Was?

Speaker 1 (14:06):
I was like, because I wasn't. I was walking, so
I was like, sure, chatting on the phone with her,
I got time. I should have really played her out.
I told Duane this. He said, you should have said,
my social Security number is nine one one, nine one one,
one one one, you're calling it. You're gonna be calling
nine one one because it was crazy. So what happened?

(14:28):
She said, Well, if you if you get off the
phone with me, then I don't know if you qualify
for I said, well, I guess I don't. I guess
I oh, I guess my loss tell Joe Biden said,
call me sorry, girl, have a good day bye. Like,
but you know how they get people like that every day,
every day, specifically old people. Old people stay falling for

(14:50):
some scam. You send them a text that's like your
nephew's in jail, and you're like they're like, oh, not
justin you know what I'm saying. Or they're like your
car warranty is about to expire. Click this is a
link for us to whatever, and they're like, okay, my
old smobile. And that's how they get old people every day.

(15:10):
So I'm so glad that you're still young. You a
new stupid I am. I am. And the thing is
that makes me so frustrated is because there's so much
going on in the world. This is not the time
to be scamming people because you don't even know what
they'll do. You don't know, like if somebody would said
that they were going to be my stylist and pulled
up with the stuff that this guy, I'm sure I'm fighting.

(15:33):
I've been in the gym, I'm ready to box. Okay,
I've been looking at taekwondo videos. Oh yeah, that's why
you source this Taekwondoh. I didn't even surround house kicking
everything in the damn apartment. Okay, yeah, yeah, Brie. Have

(16:08):
you ever cheated on someone or No? I don't cheat
it on I don't think so. I had somebody lie
to me about them being in a relationship, So I
accidentally helped somebody cheat once unbeknownst to me. Wait a minute,
there's a loophole. Is I didn't know he was in

(16:29):
a relationship. So how did you find out? She called me?
Oh she called me from his phone. Oh my god,
she called me from his phone. That means he was
at the house taking a nap or taking a dump.
I don't know where he was. Maybe he went across
the street to get a chop cheese or whatever. But
she called me and I picked up Hi. Hi, I said,

(16:51):
oh is this this mom? Hey girl? And said hi,
So now you. So you say hi, and then you
hear her and then you're like ye, And she's like,
can I speak to Marie place. I'm like, yeah, let
me get her Murray, Marie girl, you're friend. Now. I

(17:12):
gotta come back with a third voice. La, I just
want to know you're British and not British in it
in it. She's like, I just want to know how
you know, blah blah blah. I'm like, oh, I have
We have been hooking up for a year. I'm like, who,
who are you? Well? I just want you to know

(17:34):
that we have a child together. I don't even know
about that. Oh my gosh, wow, I don't even know
about this child. I had been to his house. I
never tripped over a Fisher Price or nothing. She said that,
I said, gosh, but gosh, I said, I didn't know
he had a kid. All up and through it, she said,
we have a baby together, a baby. How old was

(17:56):
the baby I don't know, but it was twelve, one
was six months now, it was maybe under two, under two.
That's I think maybe that's a child. That's a baby.
That's a child, a child toddler, no child too when
they can set under two that's a baby. Okay, but

(18:16):
some people's babies are pretty tall and they walk and
they're means, so that's a child. That's a long wait. Wait,
hold on, okay, hold on you you didn't see this video,
but this uh this, she's like a stud like masculine presenting,
uh lesbian. She's in the store and she's like recording
herself and the girl's like, are you a boy or

(18:38):
a girl? She's like, what I look like? Well, your
hair look like it's a boy. She's like, well what
the body looks like? The body also looks like a boy,
so then why she said, Well, I'm a girl. She said,
where are your mama at I was like, oh, I'm
like that Now that's a child. Yeah, but that's me.

(19:02):
But you can throw that many words together in a sentence.
You're yeah, you school. Your body also looks like a boy.
So hard you could tell she wasn't mad. But she
also was like, now now you're doing too much because
my body also, Like being honest, did the body look

(19:23):
like a boy? No, no, not at all. She was
giving like curvacious, I don't think you're ready for oh
she wearing Oh I don't know what, but that probably.
I was like, what do you do after that? After kid? Basically,
that's a hate crime. No, that genders you. That's not
a bullies you. That's a viral shoe. That's a viral

(19:46):
video band. So it was viral people people do things
now and now if you fail, you actually win if
you fail. I got to always have my phone. That's
why I was like, Marie, we need to invest in
a like camcorder so we can like vlog and be
The battle quarter is crazy. It's kind of the little
thing that the Blocker girls got. No no, no, no no. It
has the legs and the little tiny box on top.

(20:07):
No no, no, no no, We're not doing a go Bro.
That's not our brand. We need cam quarter footage cam quarter.
So my hand is in the little strap and I'm
holding it like this, uh huh. And we gotta get
the discs what like for the storage. We gotta get
that twenty five dollars we got, hey guys, So now
we're gonna to be on a new journey. We're gonna

(20:27):
be blogging who's going to edit money that I guess
we're looking at about how much you how much it
costs get you up in the in on the team
of editing. Does I movie costs? Yeah, we have that
cap cut. We have it, but I don't want to
do it on my laptop. This is mess, Marie. In

(20:49):
order to be a boss, bitch entrepreneur, you have to
do it all on my laptop. Yes, No, I gotta
get a new man. Who's gonna get me a new laptops?
Have you received any new gifts from that guy or
just from men in general? Oh? No, I love all
of this this yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean famously.

(21:11):
This guy has gotten me two different air conditioners. The
first brag from the one from last year is at
my mother's house. The one from this year not enough
b to us. If I'm gonna be honest with you,
it's that my house is still hot. Where you have
high ceilings, it's really for a New York City or
par you're giving. You're giving Carrie Bradshaw. It really is
like a loft setting. And yeah, beautiful lighting right up

(21:35):
on the window for the thing the air to hit me. Well,
thank goodness, I got you that portable fan. You could
just hit yourself with that in the house. The portable
fan is for outside. That's why you know you have
to use the tools that you have for everything. They're
all purpose. Well, what's the point in having a man
send you an air conditioner if it's only gonna be
you know that few amount of b to us? Should

(21:55):
you yelp him? You should yelp him. I'm not yelping him.
He is dead to me. But and I'm cooking. I'm
in there cooking now. Won't know if he's watching these
videos or not, or listening to the podcast or not.
If I get a new air conditioner. Oo, So this
I see how you work. I see how you work.
Is that mess? I don't know if it's messed? But

(22:16):
also how much is an AC? I don't know. Dan,
I'm like, we have best Buy in the building. We
have best By here. Yeah, like it depends. I feel
like mine was like four fifty. Now, how many bats
us is that I'm looking for? Like ten thousand BTUs?
I feel like I just want my apartment, and said,
you ask me for a lot. That's why he was

(22:38):
like yeah. The man was like, yeah, no, ten thousand,
I have five thousand. You said about five thousand. Yeah,
he said, I could do that. I mean maybe it's
also because I installed the AC myself. It's not really
in their problemly, Oh my god, we do not really
see you. You cannot do that, Murray. What if your
AC falls out and falls on something and truly looks
like it is going to crush somebody. I'm you can't

(23:01):
do that. If I coughed too hard in the apartment,
the thing might fall out the window. God forbid, there's
an earthquake, shake the room. Oh my god, I don't
eat close the train. But so now we have to
fix your ac. Yeah, but I don't want him to
do it. And I was like, I'm a strong, independent
woman and I don't need no man to help me
murder somebody with an air conditioner. It's true, It's so true.

(23:23):
You're it's literally not on the plant like that. And
did you tape it up? You put some tape on it,
not taped. I just pushed the window down as hard
as because I feel like if the window can hold it,
then I'm okay, bro, you have to get a task rabbit.
That feels like it's too hot in my apartment for
a second body to be in there. To your place.

(23:43):
You have been in there in July. Oh no, it's hot, Marie,
it's time, it's time to it. Don't touch rabbit. Yeah,
it's okay. If you can't do something. I tried to
put a shelf together, broke it. I said, something is
not going in, So I said I just have to
hit it. Didn't harder and it will go in. It
wasn't supposed to go there. And that's that's what's mess

(24:04):
is the instructions. I don't know. First of all, I
don't even want to touch Ikea because those those Ikea
I can't. It's Ikea. I can't Ikia. I can't because
first of all, it's in another language. Even in English,
it looks like it's another language. Oh for me, okay, yeah,
it doesn't make sense. And then you're like, well, I
can eyeball this because I know. I know what a

(24:26):
shelf is supposed to do. It's supposed to be straight.
I put the wrong thing in and then, yeah, just
you broke it. I did. But I got a task
rabbit who's a friend, and he was able to you
know most it. Yeah, it's cute. I sent it to you.
It looks great. My ac don't look like that. Matter
of fact, I'm not even gonna hold you. I use
the I use the part of the box to prop

(24:49):
it up, so if it rains, the box is gonna Reely,
enough is enough. I don't want to be connected to
this because if if anything happens and it's all that
podcast message, that will be the title. And that's how
the podcast pops off and elevates us to the level
that we shouldn't be at because my ac kills somebody. Okay, no, man,

(25:13):
slaughter never hurt nobody. It sure did, it, sure did, Okay,
it sure did allegedly allegedly. I don't want this, but
I already have my record for you know, the airport
in an airport bunged it is. But like on my heart,
I know that in your heart you're a criminal. You
know the platinum when they handcuffed you at the airport

(25:34):
that time so many years ago. Was it in the
front or was it in the back? It was in
the back. Yeah. And they did not like mirandom me
at all. No, Nope, they didn't Steve, No, they didn't.
They didn't random loans. They didn't give me my rights
at all. So that's why I was like, is this
a prank? Yeah? But can you do you have to
read somebody's rights at the airport. Yes, you do anytime

(25:57):
you could. Anytime they put them platinum braces, are they
not when they arresting the immigrants and stuff, they not
reading them nothing. Well, they're not mirandurizing Miranda. However you
say it mirandizing. Yeah, they're not mirandizing the men. Menendez is, well,
this is why we don't respect Ice, the government, oh America. Okay,

(26:20):
all of that, I said it. Now another thing that's mess.
So you know, I have to do these walks. We
have to get our steps in ten thousand steps. And
so you know, I've been walking at night, and so
I went to the hospital the other night and I
walked from the hospital to my house. That was two hours.
I didn't know how not scary. It is not scary,

(26:43):
not scary. But people kept putting in my head like
something is going to happen to me, and I was like,
I didn't. I don't put that energy out. Also, I
have this, Yeah, but that's gonna make you slow you.
I will knock somebody out with this. Yeah, but how
could is your aim says you don't even do push ups? AnyWho?
Is it mess as a woman to walk late at night? Yes?

(27:05):
Bye kidney that's Mess. Have you has Olivia Benson taught
you nothing? In New York City, there's a dedicated group
of the these are their stories, my story, and you're brilliant.
And you're brilliant and that's why we love you here
at MESS because you will always provide and you never

(27:27):
let up, and we appreciate you. But I should be
able to feed five four FuMB up and down the
blocks at whatever hour I want. Do you know I
used to I used to break day all the time,
or break night. Break day is different than break night. Also,
it's a different time you used to break day free
pandem Okay, it's we live in a post pandemic world.

(27:49):
Okay you a black woman? Yes, leaving an area like
that with Sunset Park, it's not even men. I know
Sunset Park. I don't know what's going on over there.
I don't know nothing and literally nothing that like the
streets were just chill, like it wasn't a ton and
I don't know what's worse walking down a street and
there's just one person on there, or walking on a

(28:10):
on a sidewalk and there's like six Okay, well, paint
the picture for us. What time did you leave the hospital.
I'm gonna say about about twelve thirty am midnight girl,
that's peak crime hours. I'm just like, so we can't

(28:31):
take the train because they lighten women on fire on
a train, So I can't. So I can't walk at
night because they they robbing and stealing and all that. Like,
it's not robbing and stealing. They're gonna take your box,
you won't you giving away the box for the free
and something park girl. I'm just saying, we can't get
into uber because we're getting trafficking. It's like, what do

(28:53):
we have? I don't know. And the thing is, I
would I would love to do a sketch about walking
in New York because and then you have this app
that tells you where it's safe to walk and nothing
nothing is safe up. Nothing is is that the Citizen.
The Citizen app tells you where the crime is. You
don't even have that. You just should in your way downtown.

(29:14):
Should I download that? I mean I think if you
if you download it, it's gonna stress you out. I'm
not excited. I will not have anxiety because I have
News Break and it literally tells me every time somebody dies. Yeah,
but that's everywhere in the world. Citizen app is like
three blocks away. Somebody just got stabbed two seconds from

(29:34):
where you're standing. A rat humped the lady like the
citizen app is. And then people put stuff on there
that's like it's just inconvenient for them that it's a
crime to them. Somebody stole my package, you know what
I mean? Like, and I love that a car backed
up without looking back, like you know, I like to
be in the mix, you know, I like to be
in the know. So I think I don't know that

(29:56):
you like to be in that. I like to be
in the know. I like to be in my nocause
it every time I look at something and I'm like, oh,
I know what happened, and then you re asked me
what I don't know? So you don't like to be
in the know. I think I'm gonna download Citizen App.
And I'm also thinking, like maybe I should get a
walking group. You know how there's a wrong group is
not walking with you at twelve thirty am. I'm not

(30:18):
park Marie. If you would have walked with me for
those two hours, you would have felt invigorating at it.
At the end, I would have been like you would
have walked forward, and I would have walked back like this,
and we would have walked like I got your six,
we would walk. But also there's safety in numbers. You
were by yourself with you know, cousin Skeeter here. I

(30:40):
was not scared. The only thing that I was First
of all, I was out of breath. I was sweating profusely.
I had a white top on, and then my makeup
that I had on my face dripping down, So there's
make so it looks like brown spots. I was like,
I'm actually the most unattractive thing that could be walking
down in I'm actually okay. So if you're gonna walk

(31:02):
at midnight, that I guess that's the way to do it. Yeah,
I was. I mean you could see the pool, the
puddle that was happening in between my cheeks. Yeah, I
was sweating heavily. Some people are into that. Some people
are into butt sweat. Cis is butt sweat mess? Mmmm?
It depends on what the butt looks like. Is that yeah? Hmmm?

(31:23):
Is a big juicy butt? Is it a small flat butt?
Is it a high tight butt? What kind of butt
is it? I would say that it has a long
crack but if partially it's partially lifted. Okay, a couple
of hip dips, but that's okay, Yeah, you only because
if people are not. Uh and because I'm having a

(31:44):
lot of fiber in my diet, I will say it's
being used regularly. So you telling is this you? Is this?
You confessing to skid marks? Like what you saying? Okay,
so you're I can't believe you said that. Who said that? Well,
let's finder, Well, let's chat about it. Are y'all using

(32:07):
baby wipes? Like? How are you wiping? Because not everybody
is not having skid marks? I'm gonna I'm gonna put
that on this. I have a bidet. Not everybody has
a bedet. And when you're in public, what about that?
Do you have a portable bidet? No you don't, Marie,
you spit on it. Eh, that's worse. Maybe wait, hey, guys,

(32:37):
can you guys just dm us and let us know. Hey,
are you do you? How do you wipe? Because you
can't get it all, especially if you have nails. I
got a ball up my my fingers. Then get the
actual toilet paper that I'm using to actually wipe. How
do you what do you mean? Ball? Up your fingers
because you don't want to get dissed. Because remember Lisa

(32:59):
says that she's like, I don't know how Cardi B
wipes her butt. She has to have like a little
bit of Cardi B has a bidet and then she's
in public. What do you do when you're in Starbucks?
You don't poop in Starbucks? Saved your You bring your
poop home. Let me tell you there is a strong
correlation between Starbucks and pooping. You are going to that baby.

(33:20):
You doodle domestically. You don't doodle in the street. You are.
You're doodoing wherever it says you are. That's the thing.
You are not in control of your dodo. Your dodo
is you have control of my dude, You're not. What
is my booty hole? Okay, good for you, Good for you.
You're not in control your booty hole. Next next topic. Okay,

(33:43):
so speaking of this, have you watched the documentary on
the Poop Cruise The Last Night Baby? It was in thing?
Is it on HBO? No, it's on Netflix. First of all,
let's let's just chat. Why are you taking a cruise?
Why do you want to be on a one? It's
not a yacht? Can I share? Can I not a ferry?

(34:05):
What is it? What is a cruise? Cammaran? It's not
a camran, It's not a yacht, It's not a cruise.
Four thousand people are on this? What is it? That
sounds like a like a party boat? A ferry? I
don't want to be on anything with four thousand people.
Have y'all not learned anything from Titanic? How many people

(34:25):
were on Titanic Alexa every night and that's more people
than the Titanics. Yeah, I don't want I don't want
to be on anything with that many people ever. Okay,

(34:46):
so you're watching this thing. First of all, let me
just say I'm no longer on Netflix because my ex
x I guess kick me off with it or getting
beda bill. I don't know. I don't remember what happened.
But Marie, you have to start paying for stuff. Pay
for Spotify. You can't watch anything on Spotify, I know,
but it says the tone for my whole day. Girl.

(35:07):
You have to get one. In order for people to
do a barter system, you gotta get something. You gotta
have something. You're paying for it. If you're watching this
right now, send me your Netflix. I would love to
see it. Also, I'm looking for Disney Plus again, so
send me your Disney pluses. And my most recent ex
did cancel the Max, so I'll also take Max. So

(35:30):
wait flex Max. They're taking everything from your friend, so
marine you that means you need to get something back
from them. And I refuse to text any of these men.
But anyway, Yeah, so four thousand people were on a
poop cruise. Well it was. It was Carnival. Carnival is
known for their there's a clause where you can't sue them.

(35:56):
Like as soon as you sign up, be like, yeah,
I'm doing this crew, Yo, anything happen, you know, you die,
you get sick, something happens on the water at the dock.
It ain't ourf that that's messy because that means Carnival. No,
they are going to get Yes, they know. It's a
smart clause. That's great business. It's a great business model

(36:18):
for them. Hey, if you get on this, you know
it's your fault, cause why are you going on a cruise?
Carnivals letting you know what kind of person gets on
a cruise. I need to see what So you just
you just want to be on the water with all
these people, and you know, everything is made of mass.
The food is made mask. You're in the pool with masks.
It doesn't feel chic. It doesn't feel like you know,

(36:41):
a la carte. It feels like banquet. It feels like
a what's the when you when you at the delhi
and they have the food? What is it called? When
you're at the deli they have the food like you
are high in the thing? No, no, no, when you
could just like take the food yourself salad, bffey. It's
a buffet. That's what the cruise is. That's it's buffet energy. Anyway,

(37:05):
they long story short, they're on this cruise, all these
people and they lose power. They're in the middle of
the Gulf of Mexico. No, no, that's a lot no electricity,
no nothing, right, So one minute they're partying, they're drinking
living life to everything just shut exactly. That's on repeat.

(37:29):
Everything is shut down so they can't the food is
not refrigerated anymore. So they're making onion and tomato sandwiches.
This is what the people are happy. Onion and tomato sandwiches. Yeah,
that's the only thing that hadn't gone that wasn't spoiled,
because God forbid you eat like a hamburger that hasn't
been refrigerator, which has happened to me. I had some

(37:52):
unrefrigerated chicken for breakfast today. Yeah, but I want to
see how tight it is cooked out. It's still tight.
There's no goodoo coming out of me talking about Okay,
so no electricity, they can't use the toilets. So now
they got a poop. You need electricity. Way, they got

(38:13):
to wall in the shower, poop in the bags. They
got actually two types of bags, the pea bag, the
poop bag, and and they're in their pain and shower. Okay,
So now they're trying to serve people food. I don't
want to eat anything. I gotta poop in the bag.
After you know, people they start panicking, they're stressed out.

(38:33):
They're like, give me, give me ten of them onion
sandwich and sure, I'll take it. Uh So people are
waiting two hours for these these struggle fire festival meals. Also,
this happened in twenty thirteen, So not enough water, not
enough drink. Somebody bright idea we open in the bar. Absolutely,

(38:55):
so now it's open bar. Everybody's drinking, losing their mind.
They're taking the poop bags, throwing the poop bags off
the boat. The wind hit poop bag is back on
the boat and it hits somebody in the face. People are,
oh my god. If I get hit with a poop

(39:17):
bag in the ocean, and you said there's no running
water so I can't even wash them, I'm jumping off.
I'm jumping off for sure. Honestly, this sounds worse than
that Titanic. I'd rather be hit by an iceberg than
a poop bag. Poop bag, which is worse. What's more messy?
Getting hit by an iceberg or a poop bag. I'm
gonna say poop bag every time. But it was warm.

(39:39):
Gulf of Mexico is warm. Shut up, okayberg go, So forrie.
Now they're trying to get help. Mind you, another another
boat is coming by, and uh, they're taking videos, they're singing.
But then they can get some Wi Fi. So everybody's
got their phones out trying to get Wi Fi from

(40:00):
this other boat. They're trying to like call people, let
people know, Hey, we've been on this boat for like
six days now, whoa six seven days? They didn't have
no flares, no, no, nothing, nope no. So then they
get so help is on the way. They get a
tugboat to try to like pull pull this this boat

(40:22):
that has four thousand people on it. Who thought of that? Honestly,
I feel like somebody was smoking weed. It was like,
you know what if we just give somebody pull the boat,
well they take get them out. They say things, way
less in the ocean, ain't no way. Yeah, that's how
people can like swim with you on their back or something.
Actually that's a person, not a boat. I don't know

(40:43):
how many tons or kiloids or whatever it is. It was.
It was kiloids, it was whatever it was. It was
very heavy. So the tugboat is trying to pull it.
It starts tilting, tilting, tilting. Not a flooded with all
the sewage. There's nothing but sewage, and you know the
floors carpet, Wait, the carnival crap cruise tilts, not the tugboat.

(41:09):
Not the tugboat. Girl. This sounds like what's that movie,
Random Acts of not random acts of kindness, Triangle of sadness.
Did you see that? No? I didn't see that. This
is giving trigonal triangle of zoodle like that's wow. That yeah.
So people are losing their minds because now the sewage
is coming from the walls. It's on the floor, it's

(41:33):
seeping through the walls, through the ceilings. People are trying
to get on, Like on the deck of the boat,
people are throwing up, they're sick, they're crying, They're like,
I just want to get off. And that's where I like,
I fell asleep because I was like, I gotta go
to mandfl right there, that's the one you should have been.
I know, but I was like, my eyes is just
too heavy. I have But what would you do? First

(41:57):
of all, do you think being on a cruise is mess? Yes?
I absolutely think being on a cruise is a mess.
I mean before I thought it was messy because its Titanic,
but now I know about this Doodoo cruise. It's double mess.
I just don't understand why you want to The thing is,
it's like you're trying to do too much. The thing
is you want to be on a cruise and you
want to make multiple stops. You want to get off
for today. Oh I'm in the Bahamas. Okay, now we're

(42:20):
going to Jamaica. Like pick one, you got that's the
ADHD move, like, Oh, I want to have everything all
in the same space at the same time. No, baby,
you gotta get off the boat. You gotta do things.
You gotta get a hotel, you got to meet up
with new people. You gotta do that. Stop trying to
be in a safe space, because I don't know anything
safe about being on a cruise. Mey neither. And I

(42:40):
feel like cruises, I mean, there are some adult only cruises.
You don't want to do that either, because, let me
tell you, on those adult cruises, they don't know how
to be adults. They kids, and they nasty. Yeah, but
I'd rather be stuck on a boat with a bunch
of adults than kids and adults. No dot Because none
of the kids were pissing off the boat and throwing

(43:00):
poop into the into the air and then flying back
on everybody. Well it sounds like they had bad aim.
If you swing the bag and then release, it's not
coming back in your face. If you does what then
it might come back. Yeah, first of all, stop throwing
the poop anything. So anyways, I think I think it's
a mess to be on a cruise, But I also

(43:22):
think it's a mess to want to be with that
many people. I don't like going to I don't like
to go to the events that's packed to the brim.
I don't want to feel like sardines already live in
New York City. That's why I hate Times Square. Also
don't like Soho. I don't want to be in Chinatown.
I don't want I want to be where it's about
maybe three. That's why I felt so good in Sunset
Park because on the streets I was like, this is safe.

(43:47):
M please don't do that again. I'm telling you nobody
was even thinking about me, even when I was wanting no,
I didn't get cat called. People. People were on a phone.
They saw you with your makeup dripping off your face
and then were like, whoa, shut the door, close the curtains,
What is this person up to? Well, yeah, I looked
a mess, but you could tell that the essence of

(44:08):
a batty stop that do me sweaty batty essence. The
essence of the batty was they could see the pool
of sweat on your long butt crack from your back.
It was so long. Is there is there a surgery
to get your butt cracked shortened? Like filled in? I

(44:28):
don't know. I just I think maybe it's because I
have to lift the butt up. Are you doing lunges?
Are you do doo lunges? Here's just a nice seat,
it's up and I'm trying to get it up. Maybe Turkey.
Maybe we gotta go to Turkey for you to get
your book. I'm not doing I'm only doing one thing.
They might add hair along to the top of your
butt crack, what to make it look shorty? Ad hair?

(44:51):
Are you hungry now? I feel like your sugar is
low and you just say anything I'm saying known for
being the hair place. Maybe they'll just add, you know,
O little bag a butt bang. Marie, let me tell
you about the time I went on a cruise. I
went on a booze cruise. Okay, I feel like all
cruises are booze cruises. No, no, no, this one's was specifically
for house music. So this is people that are doing

(45:14):
Lomali k coke. It's like an XM yes, m oh girl.
That sounds like the worst thing that I can ever
do in a night. Mayor, because you also know to
have motion sickness. So the boat was rocked the boat.
Don't tip the boat over rock the boat. Don't rock
the boat. Baby. That's how it was giving the whole

(45:36):
fucking time. So we're going this, we're dancing, and they
were like that was happening most of the trip. It
was like for like three days we went from Miami
and then my friends were professional, Like I'm not saying
professional drug addicts, but druggies. You know, they know how
to They're doing combos, they're mixing stuff, they're putting the

(45:59):
number three with a number, and so I'm following their lead.
They're like, Okay, so we're gonna do We're gonna do
this one of these somebody use a pinch of that. Yes,
but then we're all gonna put it in a tissue
and it's supposed to be like a bomb. So you're
gonna you're gonna swallow the bomb in that. It's gonna
be in a tissue, in a tissue, yes, so it's
like supposed to be like a capsule. Okay, So then

(46:23):
I do that, right, my body explodes. Sure, I'm throwing
up sitting everywhere. They called it a bomb, I know,
But you ever been being like you girl, you the
bomb bomb dot calm, like thinking like that girl that
tastes bomb. That's what I was thinking about, not bomb,
like girl, drugs in a tissue in your stomach, A

(46:45):
bomb girl. It was Fourth of July like Macy's Parade,
Like everything was coming out of both sides. And then
you know the cruise Toyle list, the potty vibe. It's
not a real flush. So you had a pool bag.

(47:07):
I did not. I wish I had one, but I had.
I had got it all over the door, the door door, yeah,
the door of the bathroom. So then it's just spewing everywhere.
They're all upstairs partying because I was like, I'm gonna
go to the room. Girl. They professional party animal. No.
I was so pissed. I couldn't believe that happened to me.
And then the next day and you know, I had

(47:29):
a like the short bang but also a bob, So
it just it was it was really giving like office
energy at the club and so so I was walking
around looking like a zombie with glasses on, and they're like,
come on, we getting vodka sodas. I was like, no, no, no, no,
no no, no, I'm dead. I'm going like I feel

(47:49):
like a bob pairs well with a with a boat
you think. No, mm hmmm, I feel like your hair
would go cute on the boat. This hair not going
on the boat. If anything, I'm getting like a yeah,

(48:25):
what's the next thing that I've seen? Oh, okay, I
have one more. Wow, Sidney, you're actually blessing us today.
You're feeding us. Well, no, you you have something else? No, no, no, no, no,
you are feeding people. The people needed this from you today.
And honestly, I think every time we do a solo episode,
you got to come to us with a new documentary.

(48:47):
I like the doc you what was the what was
the first one you owe the mortician? Mortician? I watched
that because you thank you and other people too. Yeah,
the first episode was crazy and then it got then
it didn't. It wasn't really that interesting after that. But
the first will they get you in with the first episode.
That's why I'm like documentaries, they got to be an
hour and a half and that's it. Like, why are
we chopping it up? Yeah, we don't need three parts.

(49:08):
I don't want three parts. Tell me what happened all
in this part, all in one part. And also I'm
tired of oh have you been watching We're Housewives Miami,
which oh Miami, No, Atlanta, I'm not watching Real Housewives
right now? Why you think you better than us? What's
going on a little bit, a little bit doing in
your time? What I mean? I just finished Love Island.

(49:30):
Oh talk to us about that, Mary, because you know
I'm famously against Love Island, the whole franchise. Becca Guests
your diaphragm. Yeah, as many times people are like, oh
my god, you know, we're all we care about is
hot people. You gotta be skinny, and that is all
we care about. No what it says, that's what they say.

(49:52):
They like overall in general, like even in Hollywood, like, oh,
you gotta be thin, you gotta be beautiful, And then
they have this show where every is conventionally beautiful. Everybody
looks good. So after this show you don't win, you're
still gonna get out there and get fucked and get
deals and have a man or a girlfriend. I don't
feel sorry for these people because they ain't got Riz girl.

(50:12):
Nobody feels bad for anybody from Love Island. I know,
but that's why I was like, literally, nobody listening or
in this room feels bad for anybody on Love Island.
The girl that had the most followers and had the
biggest crash out. She's the one that people I'm Hooder. Yeah,
oh they love Hooded and she shouldn't have been she
should have made it to the end, but they pushed

(50:34):
her all the way to the end. They did because
you got to be the most toxic. And that's what
I've learned. That's another reason why I don't want to
watch these shows. It's too much toxicity. I will say
the way Island used to be about this season, I
will say that I had no interest in watching this
season and I wasn't going to, but I wanted to
see Hooder's crash out, so I started watching the show

(50:54):
because of her. So I think that's the reason why
they were like, well, we just got to keep her,
even though everybody doesn't really likes She's good TV, she's
great for TV. But that people are mad because they
said that the producers definitely edited the show to make
her look a certain way and make everybody else look
a different way. D that's why it's like, come on now,
like one plus one equals to the redemption arc and

(51:21):
she's still she's still left single, so that but now
apparently they're all talking about each other or Alandria nic Alandria.
Everyone's talking talking about them now that they're all out
of the villa. I don't know, but the reunion is
coming up, so Love on the Spectrum is more entertaining
than Love Island. It is, and it may be rooting

(51:45):
for these people, maybe Love on the Spectrum Island. That
might that might go of on the Spectrum Island, but
like they don't have to be in these you know,
fashion nova pretty little thing outfits. They don't, yeah, what
they normally wear on the island where they're like loose,

(52:07):
oversized shirts and be like, well, he said he doesn't
like trains, and I really thought I liked him, but
now I don't Love Island on the Spectrum. I think
they should do it. I'm just I'm just it's not
that clearly, you know, we are.

Speaker 2 (52:24):
Okays it on the spec Okay, maybe, but I think that,
you know, I just one TV.

Speaker 1 (52:35):
I'm so tired of the lips, the lips, lips the guy.
Like I'm tired of seeing that on TV because it's
like not that it's making me feel a type of
way because you see what I'm doing, but I'm just
like that's not interesting in, like, so nobody has holotosis,
nobody got fucked up feet, nobody's got long labys. Everybody

(52:56):
is just nipped in, perfect and young. It's not perfect though,
because everybody a lot of the face stuff is overdone
and it's kind of botched. They had this one girl,
she's like twenty two. She came in. She had a
whole like sharp chin and a lips were too big
and like, once you do this, you gotta do this. Yeah,
her face was crazy, and then her friend came out

(53:18):
to like defend her, and she was like, my friend
is really beautiful, and she showed a picture of her
before all the work, and it was like she should
have just stayed that. But in order to be on
these shows, these girls think they gotta do x ycas
not don Like everybody's got a thigh gap, everybody's got
a high butt. Like this is just not real. That's
not really was out there in the dating pool, all

(53:38):
these guys with their hairlines that at least short foreheads,
get the fuck out of here. That's not what I
see on the six train. Yeah, but everybody on Love
Island is like twenty three, twenty four, twenty five. Let
me let's have it started twenty four twenty five. The
foreheads even started to let me tell you, I was
not doing my makeup good at twenty three, twenty fourteen five.
I my makeup didn't get good good until twenty eight,

(54:01):
twenty nine. Right, But this is is before TikTok. This
is before YouTube make up tutorials. The girls are watching
things like that. You will watch a whole mester class online. Now,
where is the girl that works at the post office?
Where's the girl that works at Chick filip I'm just like,
let me tell you, let me tell you where the
girl at the post office? Is you mention? No? But

(54:22):
like buddy will girl, she's at post office ignoring everybody
at the post office. And that's who needs to be
on the show. I want to see a bitch in
the corner, like I'm not impressed. I don't want to
watch somebody bored. I want to watch somebody who's to
do too much. That's not boring, that's giving. Why do
we always got to do too much? Why can't we
just do enough? It's entertainment, sis, I don't want to

(54:45):
watch the post office lady ignore everybody in the house.
I need to see some drama in the villa, and
then baby see somebody fall in love, hears somebody say
the wrong word a bunch of times in the confessional,
and then I want to go home like nothing simple.
If I can see it at my local post office,
I don't want to see it on my TV. I

(55:06):
want to see it on the TV, because that's the
thing is, when they're putting it other stuff on the TV,
we're not getting the locals we need local Love Island, Yes,
get the people from Reese Beach, get the people from
Long Island, Jersey Shore. No, they did, They did that already. Yeah,
we did it also, if you want to really talk
about it, when Jersey Shore first came out, people weren't
really messing with that show like that. And they didn't

(55:27):
even really that was all regular looking people with regular
bodies and regular faces on Now don't you do that
to my? Jay? Wow? Jay Wow, don't you do that?
They wump it in the back. None of them, None
of them was an icon, beauty, a standard a standard
of what standard of what our New York, New Jersey standard.

(55:49):
But they would just go out and get drunk and
like party and Jim Tam laundry, right, But people weren't
really watching the show. And then there was this episode
where Snookie got punched in the face. Some guy punched
her in the face at some bar. Now the show
explodes because everyone's talking about how she got punched in
the face. Now the people in the house who hated
her rally around her, and now the show is an

(56:12):
international well I don't know if international a national phenomenon,
but she needed to get punched for people to be like,
I like this show. Somebody to confirm this, because you know,
when Marie comes with Marie facts, that's what happened. No
one was really They didn't even really like Snooky in
the house. They were not messing with her. The show
was not doing well. The ratings were in the toilet.

(56:34):
She got stand by you, I'm sorry by some man
at a bar and they all jumped on him. They
kicked his ass or whatever they did. JWoww yeah. And
that was it. I mean I started. I also started
watching Jersey Shore because I heard somebody got punched in
the face. So I only watch when I hear bad
things or crazy things have happened. I joined for the
crash outs, but otherwise that's not happening on Real Housewives

(56:57):
was Miami? Is it? If it was all what I
mean the ladies are older, so they're not I mean
they're throwing water. Yeah. That has not stopped Housewives before.
I mean yeah, I mean I still remember the iconic
moment where you know, Teresa flipped the table over and prostitution.
I say that once a week I call somebody need that,

(57:17):
we need that. But I'm just saying, like, Love Island
is fine, it's fine, but the way people are just
so wrapped up in it. It's just because it's young,
hot people who I'm like, you're telling you you have
issues finding people in real life. That's a lie. Yeah.
But the whole thing is Shelley is stunning. Orlandria, oh
my god. I was like, girl, you ain't got to

(57:40):
do this. Like why for the endorsements that they get
after they leave the house, it's all business. They trying
to get a pretty little thing, uh collab. Oh. They
all the people that people like all have one point
three million plus followers, and then Taylor has like no,

(58:01):
stop Taylor. They can't stand I mean, I didn't like
tell I don't know, he just wanted to wear his
cowboy hats and be like, Okay, but I will say this.
I'm gonna put it on record. At first, I was like, Taylor,
I kind of and then you was into yokseanmity sending
and I was like, he kind of looks like a lesbian,

(58:24):
That's what it was. I was like, Yeah, are you
a girl or you a boy? Are you a cowgirl?
Or you a cowboy? You know, cowboy Carter? Can we
say this? Would you be on Love Island? Should we
rally for you to be on Love Island? Somebody else
told me they think I should be on Love Island?
Who was that? It might have been Carolina. Honestly, Marie,

(58:46):
you're hot. I don't want to be on the show.
All they do is swap spit. Yeah, every challenge is
a and then and then she will turn around and
I'm like, I'd be in the hep like, but we
need that. We need one girl that's like, hey, I'm
not kissing all y'all. Y'all like girl gonna vot it

(59:07):
off immediately. But that's all we need. We Who was
your girl that said back this season? Beledsha oh? Yeah
I remember, yeah, well yeah, I remember. She's very tall.
Was like no, like I don't kiss on the first day,
and then they were like, you're going it off, okay,
but Marie, hold on now she was not giving Marie.

(59:30):
Marie's gonna go in there charm everybody where, her where,
her comedy and you know her saying, I be on
Love Island, freaking they called ice on some girls family. Yes,
and you know I'm a Haitian American citizen, but they're
gonna be like I love No. First of all, your

(59:52):
family has androids, so they're not gonna be able to
get there. And see that's the slander. I'm not gonna
open my off up to if I'm on Love Island.
Her family looks like they all got android you know
the check I green bubble. Marie know you that. And
then there's an episode where the families come to visit. Oh,
and they're so beat. I love the failures. Your family's

(01:00:13):
gonna show up and not embarrass me on I'll show
up girl. Marie's friend Sydney came because her mom declined,
I'm on behalf of a fuston. I am here doing work.
I'm in and then I'll be like, I'm like your stuff.
I'll be in there judging see and then for free

(01:00:34):
All you need is one episode and you'll already blow
up one episode. I'm not doing this. I think that's
something you do right out of carriage. Get on Love Island,
get on love right out of college. You do Love Island,
easy on Love islandy honestly, But I'm gonna I'm gonna champion.
I need everybody in the d MS re tag Love
Island on Freeze's page. I think I might rather be

(01:00:58):
on a poop cruise show me. I thought you were
gonna be like, I'd rather be on Love on the Spectrum.
We need you on that jumper. I like Love on
the Spectrum because it's like, are they on the spectrum
or are we on the spectrum? I think we are
because they're so honest. They're like, hey, I like this.

(01:01:18):
If you don't like this, I don't like you, and
it's like, yeah, that's what dating should instead. We hear
somebody say they don't like something and we'll be like,
I can change them. No, and it's stupid because it's
just like, why can't people just be honest? Up jump
Hey man, I don't like your hairline, but this Calmary
is fod so I'm gonna stay here for the whole
night until you know, we cease this and then peace. No,

(01:01:43):
I'm not gonna see you again. And that's okay. Listen,
the girl and I put her barbies on all the dates.
She I want to bring an emotional support something to
the date. Okay, I think we gotta read a message. Oh, yes,
we do, and then we gotta wrap this up because
I'm sorry for holding y'all hostage. But the ever, it
was so fun. What do you mean? Does anybody have
any complaints in the room? Tell us now or forever?

(01:02:04):
Hold your piece? Okay, here we go Tattoo Bay versus
Hinge man Ooh I choose miss Hey Sidney Marie. I
have a big mess to share. I recently got out
of a two and a half year relationship and have
officially entered my whole era. We like that. I'm also
a teacher on summer break, so it hits even more

(01:02:25):
with those summer vibes. So here's the mess. I've been
casually seeing two guys on my summer roster. One is
a twenty three year old tattoo artist who gave me
a couple tats about a year ago. I'm thirty. Lol.
We reconnected recently after he found out I was single.
The other guy I met on Hinge he's my age
and super sweet. We've been hanging out for about a

(01:02:47):
month and a half. Okay, cut to last week. I'm
out at a bar with Hinge guy. We're vibing, having
drinks when he suddenly tells me he has feelings for me. Men.
Remember when I was thinking that guy that was like,
I fox you And I was like, what does that mean?
And we saw him, We saw him in broad daylight.
It was crazy. Girl. He texted me after that and

(01:03:08):
I said, Marie, what's the problem. Okay, we'll bring that back. Okay,
he has feelings for me, which I had no idea about.
I'm flattered, but I'm also in my single era, so
I'm kind of on the fence. Then I glanced down
the bar and just one seat away from us the
tattoo artists. Yeah. Girl, the pit I got in my

(01:03:32):
stomach was so real. I ran upstairs to the bathroom
trying to figure out what the hell to do. So,
of course I make the very intelligent decision to text
tattoo artists. Lol. We at the same bar. That's something
you were doing, yeah, and not as at the same bar.
Immediately you regret, Like, what the fuck would I do that,

(01:03:54):
Queen Bozo. I head back down and try to sneak
the long way around to my seat, but of course
tattoo artists seese me no escaping now, I say hi.
He offers to buy me a drink, and I sit
down with him because I'm just embracing the chaos. At
this point, hinge guy comes over and asks what's up
being the mess that I am. I basically say I'm

(01:04:16):
gonna stay with him. Oh oh girl, girl, But I
like that. She's like this this is my world and
I'm living in it. I mean, but the tattoo artist
is twenty three, kind of gross. She's the hinge guy
is thirty. I wouldn't want to be with a twenty
three year old tattoo artist because he's hot. Hinge guy

(01:04:36):
is clearly upset, but I finish my drink hof on
the back of a limescooter with lime art with tattoo
artists and head back to his place to watch Love Island.
I told you mess. Fast forward to the next day.
I hit him with damn, I'm a fucking asshole guilt
and text hinge guy to apologize he's understandably hurt. But

(01:04:59):
guess who's still spent the night at my place last night?
Ye hinge man. Thanks for reading my mess talk love
you both. I recently discovered mess after Marie was on
Caleb's So True pod obsessed. Thanks for making me laugh
throughout the mundane tasks. Life consists of, Well, she provided,

(01:05:22):
it's just living. It definitely does live in living. Yes,
it is living. It's just living because first of all,
she's not She's not anybody's girlfriend. So if you see
me out with somebody else, know you didn't, but also
you did, and so what Yeah, but she was out
with one he said he had feelings for her. She

(01:05:42):
sees the other one. She leaves feelings for the other one.
If I'm out with you, then the other one you
didn't see me? Okay, that is messy. Yeah, but obviously
it wasn't that hurt because he spent the night the
next night. So but also it's like, why are you
telling me you have feelings for me in public? Like
that should be inside. That's inside behavior. That's like we're

(01:06:03):
in the house, like stop it. There's but you know,
what a hinge guy is gonna be the one to
tell you he has feelings for you? Hmm, ever happened
to me? I feel like that's hinge. Oh yeah, tattoo
art is he gonna be like, hey, a fox with you? Yeah?
And then that's why she was like, listen, it's summer

(01:06:27):
twenty twenty five. Be messy, but also be safe, so
don't walk at midnight through deserted areas. But also, you know,
these men egos or egos are real fragile. So like
her being like, I'm gonna stay with him, he could
have been like you know what I'm saying, Like he
could have fully, okay, crap, and now you a dead

(01:06:50):
body next to a twenty three year old tattoo artists,
and what are you gonna do? Tattoo r ip on you? Right?
What's up? He's on tattoo rip on him? Oh? Or
maybe he'll yeah, maybe have you face on his shoulder,
because that's who artists would do that as well. Maybe
I don't know. I feel like, what would you do
I feel on a date with two people, with one

(01:07:12):
person the other person bumped into you, what do you do?
Do you acknowledge them? Do you hey and ignore it.
We're like, you see what it is? You know what
it is. I wasn't responding baby this, I'm out And
that's why you need to work harder. Who am I
out with? Not you? Right? Then you need to work
harder too, because now I'm with him because what you're doing, Like,
if anything, I would have sat between them and then

(01:07:34):
been like, you do this? What do you do? You
do this? You do that? Oh, and then you can
have like a little poly situation. So who house we
going back to? Oh, oh no, that three people can't
fit on the line scooter. Somebody's got to get the
uber because that's what adults need to do. Well. The
tattoo or just said, I'm not that far from the crib,

(01:07:57):
so you think he popped a wheelie on it? I
do see that. Thank you for sharing your mess friend.
We love it. Yes, you guys need to send more, more,
more mess We need it. You love it. Jimmy, gimme more.
What is it? At messthepodcast at gmail dot com, email us,

(01:08:17):
call us, send us messages that leaves listen to I
love that And if you have any new documentaries I
should get into tell me about that as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
don't forget to leave us some reviews because we like.
I like reading the comments, Sydney, anyss any messy words
you want to leave the people with before we go.
A place is only as safe as you think it is. Yeah,

(01:08:40):
that's a fortune cookie. No, like, if you wanted to
be a safe place, it is. And that's what happened
on my walk. Everything felt safe. I wasn't scared. Were
you listening to music? No, no, you can't do that.
Don't do that. Yeah, no, I had, I had. I
actually was playing my music on the phone loud loud,
so you already know who will kind of person than

(01:09:00):
I am. You got here. It is also I want
to soundtrack if something does pop off. You know what song?
Do you want to get murdered too? Hmmm? You know what?
I'll leave that for the listeners, Yeah, murdered too. Couldn't
play that? I mean, uh, leave that in the comments
of the Spotify and stuff because I want to read it.

(01:09:20):
I'm gonna read them for the next show. Good Bye
Bye Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Foston is a
production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast,
created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive
produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by
Becca Ramos, edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you

(01:09:44):
would like your messages read on air, please email us
at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or call for
your messages to be played at seven six three two
eight zero six five eight eight