November 13, 2025 • 89 mins
This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by friend and comedy Jay Jurdan! The three call each other IN in some group therapy MESS.
Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at messthepodcast@gmail.com, or call in at (763) 280-6588 to have your MESSages read live on air!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oooh, you're listening to mess Okay, we made it. We
I'm so excited at my energy. It's back. You've got
some rest. I did not. Oh it's not I.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
When I start a show, I could really binge it
if I could.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
If I could, if it's really good, I could finish
it in one sitting, which is disgusting.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I think we should bring back episodes coming out one
week at a time.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
But you know what I don't. I don't like watching
it with everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I would like, actually wait because if everybody's hyping up
at the same time, I don't want to get involved
with that. I want to do it on my time,
you know. But it just so happened that I got
caught up in the hype because everybody's been talking about
it on tiktook. We'll talk about tell the people what
you're talking about, because we don't know what you're talking about.
It's a show called It's All Her Fault, And I said, damn, women, damn.
(00:53):
But also that's how I look at it. It is
all her fault. Oh, whoever her is, it's her fault.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Oh. I usually say her.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Is my mom, but whatever it is her fault. Yes,
it's it's and we're starting at the source and it's
my mom. But yeah, it's with Sarah Snook from Severance.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
She's in it.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
And then what's the other one, succession one of them
about white people doing you know, white collar embezzlement and
whatnot in really thousand dollars suits and whatnot. But yeah, her,
then then Lawrence from Insecure j Ellish, Yeah, not as mine,
(01:32):
no more. Yeah, I love when our people out here working.
And then remember the guy who was in Crash, the
guy who was like the invisible cloak.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Remember the dude was like fix the.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Lock was telling the guy the door guy or the
lock guy, the lock guy, Oh, yes, okay, he's in it. Yes,
And it was so crazy because I was looking at
him and I was like, I'm just waiting for him
to be like.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You need a new door.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
No, no, no, the invisible invisible cloak where I cry
it's here. Remember Crash, I really everybody said how corny
it was, but.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Like I like, I loved it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Mister Reese Witherspoon was in that what's his name justin
Timberlake's dupe.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
That's that's what we're talking about, the same guy.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yes, Ryan, Yes, just related dupe, Yes exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So I watched the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I went to bed at like two something, and I
got back up at sets crazy. We made a pack
that we were gonna go to bed at midnight last night,
and I text you at twelve oh.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
One, Hey girl, go to bed and you said the
bed feels good. It say good that queen. Yeah, but
I watch it. It's phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I will get into it again, maybe on a solo episode,
but yeah, I recommend everybody watching.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It's on Peacock. Wooh, you know that was my mess.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
My mess is, yo, people are really shutting down their apps.
They're not paying no more. They said no Netflix, no,
no Hulu, no Peacock. I have to run through a
couple of people to get to the peacock.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So you got the peacock. I got it. Yeah. I
text her friend.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
In a thirty year shut out to Larry Larry Owens,
thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Wow shout out shout out to him. I love it.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, So that was my mess. I need to pay
for one of the maps one one. Yeah, I mean
I told you this morning. I have the Disney Hulu package,
but it's with ads.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
So that's fine. Yeah, the way the world is going,
you need a little break.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Run to the bathroom. Your little cheese will run off
through something, peese will and check your emails. Yes that
I do need a break. That you do ignore you
do it, and I know you home and I know.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
You can see it. First of all, it doesn't matter
if I'm home or not. I don't want to respond
to that email. Look at that.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
This email did not find me, well, it found me unwell, Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, Marie. What's your mess week? My messed this week?
The US government? Uh raggedy.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
You've been around since seventeen seventy six, right, you still
haven't figured it out. So I was in Chicago this
weekend and I had a bunch of flights because I
flew from Nashville to Chicago, then Chicago back to New York.
All my flights were seven six am flights, which I
was like, I don't that's not ideal, but I do
need to get out of this state right sooner rather
(04:26):
than later. So I missed my seven am flight home
on Sunday morning. You sure did, which was mad because
you tell them what you did. Well, I was at
you know, Dwayne Perkins' birthday party. Huh, you got there late.
You didn't stay there that long? Well, I stayed till
the end. When it ended, I left. What time did
you get there? First of all, I came from a show,
(04:47):
don't it seemed like out of that at the hole,
just watching friends or whatever. No, I I had a show.
I got to Dwayne's at I don't know, eleven thirty.
I was there till about twelve. Something, got some rhyme,
in went back to the hotel. I went to bed
at three am, set my alarm five am, and then
at back up five thirty. You know when you're getting
(05:10):
a lot of rest, You know, when you're sleeping and
you're like, I feel like I'm sleeping too much. They
need to stop the snooze. Snooze, eliminate the snooze.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
The alarm never went off. Oh, it's my phone.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It doesn't My alarm doesn't go off on Sundays because
that's the biggest opst The biggest op is your phone.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Bitch. I looked out. I rolled over. I looked at
the clock.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I said, seven oh one, seven oh one, that's what
time they were boarding my flock.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You know, I hadn't packed. So I'm oh, my god, friend.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Thrown it in the bag, right, I get I get downstairs,
I get in my uber. The driver's like, what time
is your flight? I was like, right now? Who was
leaving at seven forty five? I get to the airport
eight am, right, miss. I'm like, well, apparently I had
booked the first class ticket because you know, I care
about me, So they rebooked me on another first class
(05:59):
flight and I was like, oh, that means I get
to go to the lounge.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I was like Delta one.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I go to the lounge. The lady the guy's like,
you know you have Delta one. I said yes. He
said that's for long haul international flights. I was like oh.
He said, are you going to I see Luardia? Are
you connecting to London or something? After I was like
mm I am and he was like I don't see.
I said, well, I just missed my flight. Maybe they
(06:26):
haven't rebooked me for that portion yet. He was like, okay,
I see you're going to London on the twenty fifth.
Now in your business okay, sir, you know my Hawaii tenerary.
Now say you don't see the tonight flight. He's like, no,
he said, but you know what, I'll tell you what.
You can be my guest in the lounge today.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Look at that.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Let me tell you something in my heart, I said,
I missed the flight. I'm not missing the lounge.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
NA missing the lounge. So I was like, oh my god,
oh thank you so much. Like he gives me a card.
He's like, you know, a message of my super far
So let her know how all I did today. I
was like, I will, and I.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Will shout out to do you have not but yet,
but shout out to Darren. So I had been rebooked
on a twelve thirty flight. That flight delayed, then canceled,
right then a two thirty canceled.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Then they were like all the flights out canceled.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
So I'm talking to I'm talking to you, I'm talking
to my mom, I'm talking to my sister. We're all
trying to like figure out how I'm getting back and
if I live in Chicago now, and we're like maybe
United all the United flights booked.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
My manager's like Spirit Airlines has a flight.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I said, girl, you know I don't want to, but
let me see if we can get it. That that
went away because everybody was trying to get to New York.
All the JFK flights, all the LaGuardia of everything was booked. Finally,
the lady at Delta goes, the earliest flight we can
get you on is eight twenty five tomorrow PM. No,
I've been here since eight o'clock in the morning. You
(07:55):
told me I can't leave till eight o'clock tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Now, No, ma'am girl. And that happened to us when
we were in Paris.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yes, but I was like, am I going to be
reimbursed for this? And they said, oh, Delta doesn't reimburse
unless it's a Delta issue of our plane or our pilot.
This is the government, so you will not be reimbursed.
They said, they ain't got nothing to do with me.
I'm like, are you guys gonna put me in a hotel.
They're like, no hotel either. No, they got a lot
(08:22):
of nerve Delta and you platinum status almost I will
be at the end of the year, Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I said that to the lady.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I'm basically platinum anyway. I was on stand by for
a five fifty flight. She after I screamed, I'm almost platinum.
She called Delta and she was like, we got you
no longer stand by. You're on that flight.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Each that flight boarded at eight.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Something and then we sat for an hour and a
half on the plane, not moving, and then they finally
took off.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
The flight is two hours.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I'm at the airport for twelve I'm sitting on the
tar back for another two hours.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
And then they had the nerve to have turbulence. So
I the government is messed. Delta is mess, the clouds
is mess. No, no, no, Marie, let's start with the
who started the mess. You you missed the flight, and
you were supposed to take the seven am flight so
you could get to New York early because we had
a concert for Kate Trenada, because I got your tickets
for your birthday. You sing all that miss miss, but
(09:31):
you're right, you are one hundred percent right. Seven thirty
flight and the nine thirty flight are the only flights
that left on time? Yeah, yeah, the only flights. And
then everything else just two, three, four, five ten hours delays.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Crazy, Marie, wo crazy.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
And people on Instagram are like, you could stay with me,
I can drive you take a train. I was like,
the train is gonna call. It's gonna take me a
whole day. I'd rather wait. Also, to be fair, I
was in the lounge of the entire time. You were
a li and just fine. I had nine plates of food.
I was drinking for free.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
They have showershowers.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I didn't take a shower, but they have them. But yeah,
and everybody in the in the lounge was like stressed
and tired and over it.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
But imagine I was in the regular airport for those
twelve hours. I couldn't imagine. That's the hell. Yeah, shout
out to Darren. I will be messaging your supervisor. We
love Darren. You're at mess Okay, Jay Jay Jurten is
in the building.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yay, so exciting. Thanks y'all for having me here. Yesterday too,
I flew Monday. I want to say, yeah, I flew
Monday from Portland and it was fine.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Was your flight?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
My flight was at seven yea, yeah, and you made it.
I did make my flight. I was, I was. I
was lucky that I made my flight. I had and
I had an early flight to Seattle like two days before,
and it was like miss acting was like not the
early flights that's before ten. I think you're fine. After ten,
(11:04):
you might be fucked because these flights have been saying
the N word, And by saying the N word, I
mean these flights are canceled, these flights have been in
these flights.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I was like, oh, no, no.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Frontier, I said, no, it sounds American.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
American air.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah, they say all the words American, all the words
on spirit they said, but you know they can't say
it because.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
That's g A yeah, g.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
A h exclamation points yeah spirit. They said, when you
will see nigga I And then I had to do.
I had to go from Kansas City to Tulsa and
we had a connection in Dallas, and I had to
I had to fly southwest, which I haven't done in
(11:53):
a while. That was I was an airport for four hours.
They were like doing the whole gate. They were like,
we charged the gates, we charged the gate, they changed
gates four times. I'm fine, I'm able bodies, I can move.
These older people, they was getting mad. Some of them
had to be like pushed to the different gates and
some of them they could have walked, but they still
wanted to be pushed because like that's a that's a
choice on your part sometimes when you're older in the airport,
(12:15):
you go, I could use help, but I think I
can make it. These folks they walking to the gate
agent mad. They said, is this the final gate? And
the gay agent say, I ain't even gonna hold you.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I just changed. Yeah. They walked up and don't you pay?
You have to pay to get someone to assist you.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Yeah, I think you can request it, but I think
if you have medical documentation, you don't have to pay.
But I think sometimes, but then I don't trust it
because sometimes in Atlanta, the folks who be riding on
them carts, they be young, they just be driver.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
If they think they're you're cute, they'll just be like,
you know what the back I'll be hopping on those.
Why is that you be hopping on those?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
JFK was like yeah, he said, what okay, okay in
Atlanta stressed, okay, sweating bags.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I'm not gonna try to New York, but in Atlanta
with all them, I'm trying. I'm hopping on the back
of one of them.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I'm be like, yeah, girl, wheelie for you, ja girl.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
But yeah, airports, I mean they are held right now.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
In regard to Delta one, I was just in Delta
one JFK and l A X Jeff JFFK like it's
it's that's a fun delf to one lounge, it's cute.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
The l A X one immaculate. Oh go to that one.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
They have caviar there, they have caviar theres you can
get massages there.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
They have given that.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I mean the steak free is amazing, is amazing usual
in the Delta one lounge, which is not relatable at all.
But the also the government shutdown hurt me because now
you don't even get private TSA for Delta one. You
gotta go through regularly and you pay for Deulta one
is go through private TSA. Yes, fact, you go through.
And they said we don't got it because the government shut down.
(14:02):
I said, you can't check me right now. I said,
you see, you can't look at this, you can't pay
me down screaming sky priority.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
They were like that don't really mean anything, said everybody's
priority right now. But you know, I mean, I hope
people get paid.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
It sucks that like the Democrats cave because now that
means that might fucking people's health care.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
But I don't, I don't, I can't fix it. So
is the shutdown over or the shutdown.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
The shutdown is about to be I was like, moving forward.
They're trying to fix it by Thanksgiving, because if this
happens a Thanksgiving, I guarantee someone's gonna get hurt. Someone's
gonna get hurt if everything shut down. Come Turkey time,
Turkey Lurkey season.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
First of all, people by their turkeys, and now you
can't get to the family that ain't got no turkey.
Think the shutdown should happen because I like this. Everybody
be running to their family for what?
Speaker 1 (14:52):
For what? The first of all, we all.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Know that everybody's family is fucked up.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
That's just my dad's sid. I'm just saying, who were
talking about? Okay, listen, a lot of times we're going home.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Listen, you going there, you ain't got nobody and they're like,
oh so you're still not married another year older, or
you're coming with somebody and you're like, you know, we
don't like that girl.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
This is are you bringing this today? The specifics in
this are really we don't like that girl.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Family are this is like when Sinney said it's all
her fault and I was like, well, if it's a
lesbian relationship, it.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Might be her. They fall, but it's her fault. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
But I think because of the government shutdown and everything
that went on this that transparent this year, we should
not be subscribing to things like Thanksgiving and Christmas saying.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
One step forward, colonize your holidays.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
You're celebrating the white men coming and talking to the
Native Americans and tricking them.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Come on, let me go and buckles the hand. You're
doing the turkey with the hand.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, that hand should be a hand. That should be
a Black power fist. You can't make a turkey from that.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
All my turkeys. Look, Jay, what's up?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Because I have the Hulu with ads now, I did
watch your new.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Special Thank you yes man, Yes ma'am, Yes ma'am, Yes ma'am.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
And you only say yes ma'am. I think one time
I said it one time.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, I said to my mama, an important part of
the specials. Thank you for watching with ass. We love ass. Listen, listen,
get Hulu with ads. If you want to get Disney,
read download Disney plus. Jimmy Kimmel is back on the air,
Stop and John protesting and Disney Walt Disney was a Nazi.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Okay, so it's Kanye wh wow, please please. But Walk
was a Disney Nazi the whole time. The whole time,
Snow White White.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Jay, you were making it work for You were like, listen,
we need a Disney Hulu plug.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah. I said, that's come on, let's do something with it.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
The fun part about recording the special in New Orleans
was that the crowds were crazy fun, Like there's a
woman you can hear in the beginning of the special
her this was her laugh like Okay, we're gonna we
tore her down a little bit in the head. I said,
let's let's tweet and move the boom mic con her.
But they were fun, they were wild. I went to
a gay bar literally afterwards, and there was like an
(17:25):
underwear party in the back. You know, I can't say
if I went or not, but I was. You know
when you go to a game man, and now you
say you can't say if you win. I can't say
if I went in the back or not, but I
say I never went to the gay club, because you
go to a gay club, it's kind of pack. You go,
all what's up? When it's really pack, you go, what's
the event? You go, what's the event? And they go oh,
it's a underwear party back there, I went, Oh, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
So you so you put everything in the locker. Locker, Marie,
this is New Orleans.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You put everything in a trash bag, and the trash
look like Katrina Victims.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
We had clothing you back there like this. You don't
hold your bad You can get your ticket.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
And someone who you don't know, who you met that night,
who is not trustworthy, is watching your bag.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Okay and wait and so after your special you went
there and it's the underwear party?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Did they lift you up by your jockstrap? And like
tru truly this is how this is how little gay
people care.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
They went you ever what anyway?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
You said you special? Special? You know I got a
special on toob right now? They got a special only
fan special discount rate. Yeah. By the way, every.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Everyone can't be on only y'all, we've reached critical mass?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Is that your mess? Is that? No, that's a little
bit of my mess.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Everybody can't everybody someone's gotta pay for it, are you?
Are we all just passing the same twenty dollars a
round if everybody's on there?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
So you're saying everybody can't be on OnlyFans, not everybody.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I think we're within six months of being like, okay,
closed door.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
We don't we got enough everyone. We're everybody only fans.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Everyone they here, everyone here, everyone here knows somebody only
everybody in this room knows at least five people are
only fans.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Like personally, yeah, yeah, no, I know, maybe like.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Maybe game you know what gay men might be very specific.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
It's your community. It's not you know what, that's us.
That's on us, that's on us.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
But they everybody on there, everybody, and sometimes you see
the pictures, you go, can I give you some notes?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
No, if you know money, but I'm gonna give you
some notes. Yeah, I think you know, maybe you know
clean up in the back. It was this, this is
a song, get this out of here.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
So every now and then I think that people need
to I think we could do less public sex work
because we do need there to be mystery, We need
some allure.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Not being said, I feel like if we started it
only okay, people would be like, well, I got to
see what they talking about black beaches, Let's see why
what makes them feel so good about themselves? And my
only fans with I would fully be wearing a turtle
neck because it's like you got to the next if no, no, no,
I'm gonna flash. No, I'm gonna have a thick turtlenet
(20:14):
going and turtle and then nipple nipple covers no.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Or do the kim k You could be like, oh
you thought you saw my nipples even.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
My nipples bra okay, got.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Off the bra. Wait, let me write that down. You
had the Kuchie before she had the Kuchie panties.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
You don't know about the hair, with the hair, the
pew with with the you know, with all different types
of textures.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
You can go stop it. She did not. You can go.
You can go Michael Jackson all the way, Michael Jackson.
When it comes to the puba, she had the one
and then the four sea.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, Kim, you gotta get and the force you the
capitalism has gone out of country.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
It's crazy girl.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
But the forese is also the foresea is on the
brown panties and the blonde panties. So you could you
can have like a kinky Rachel. You can have an
albinism situation where how does.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
She know this?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Who is doing the work to find out what different
pubeses on different bodies.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I've done some research, You've done some research. No research
can be honest. The people I've been with.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
If there's one Gucci expert on this podcast, one Ucci
expert on every podcast.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
You got a.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Cookie ex brow you anybody in here? Hey, I'm a
partaker of the Kuchie. She is a coucie connoisseur, not
a coochie connoisseur. Y'all think I've been in but.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You see them, I know, but sometimes it's against my will.
I didn't want to see those. You can drive by flashy.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Know you when you This is the thing about being
with older women who.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Wait, wait, yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Yes, First of all, I grew up with very modest elders,
but then when I got with people who are, like,
you know, not as old as sixty five, like around
my mom and and then her people, I mean, coochies
is out, bushes is out, people have that. I don't
know if she would wear the panties that just like
the elastic is loose, a rip is on the side.
(22:29):
And sometimes she's just like, hey, I want to sit
sit on my couch without nothing on. She said, this
is my couch and it was a leather couch come
from get.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
On a leather couch.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, but in the summertime or the winter time, you asking,
you're really good at journalism.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Thank you? You know.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You know who's getting horny listening to this? JD Vans.
He said, wait a second, cow a couch. I'm about
to the couch.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
But then I got older and I was in the pandemic,
and there was a couple of times I said, on
the couch with no panties on.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Okay, you're wearing a robe that's open, is it? Bear?
Just bearkay on it. After I took a.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Shower, I'll do what I open, I'll do a robe
open on the couch, on the couch ready, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never just said we digging a new couch and
the husband says, I cannot be naked on this couch,
which I understand.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
What color is a couch.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
It's like a swayed Yeah that's not a good Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah. It catches everything. It catches oistures and oil pair
we yeah, swayed and anyone who has done I forgot
about the balls and they hang. So it's like basically after.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
The shower, the after a shower, balls.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
On today, like on the day like today.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
This is how when I was walking here, they're here
when I was talking a shower like, Man.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I could never do this act out because I don't
know balls like what they're doing Sidney expert and you
don't know nothing nothing.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Listen, I dabbled in ball. I know you know both.
I don't I know nothing. Not listen. If Sidney is
a virgin now we're rebranding Sidney is a version I
have not Listen, I'm not a virgin.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I just want people to know that, like, I am
not the end all be all of what it like
the couchie is lesbian.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I'm not an expert. You're not calling you an expert.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well, I did said a degree.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
This room is an expert. It's you.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Yeah, I'm in coucci. I'm I get to go back
to couchie every now and then. The last time you
went to some couchie, I don't want to. I can't
blow nobody spot up.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
But it wasn't. It wasn't in New Orleans. It wasn't
in New Orleans, but it was.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
This month was again, Man, are talking about cochi time rough?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Hey hey off? That benefits of gone I gotta eat something.
He said, you gotta eat something that benefits is gone.
I gotta eat something that's mess.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Congressman, Jay, I need to stop being funny because we
(25:37):
brought you in here for mess.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Okay, mess, and I know that has been messing.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
No, no, no, but I know you have your own
personal but I'm actually here to talk to you about
your mess.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Well, y'all, y'all kind of teased it and staid that
I'm messy. So what mess do y'all think I'm gonna bring?
And I can tell you if its aligned?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Jay, you know you know your mess? What do you know?
Your man threads?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
You'll be on on tow and then I'm promoting my special.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
So every now and then you gotta hook them on
a little mess. You gotta say I'm really good, but
you know who's not. I'm ready to stand up.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
And I love that about you well because and it
does tidy y'all.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Whenever you let's say, you make an article and you go,
oh my gosh, it's comedy hot again, and you don't
include these two. You when you write an article specifically
hot sexy comedy has gotten and you don't include these
two innovators of hot girl, hot comic, hot black, hot queer,
hot sexy comedy.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I get to be mad because I go, yeah, you
don't gotta put me on there. That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
You don't put me on it. You have to put
them on there, you Sidney Marial. The reason people were like,
I got drsed up with this show, Well, I want to.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Say people have take showers and look like they do
on stage.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yeah, I don't want to say it, but we bathing
back top tops and cute heels. When I started doing comedy,
they were like, you can't wear shorts, you can't show
your legs.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You you can't wear wear, you can't wear anything cute.
I can't show way. So that's like one level of
the message.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
I do like to call out when people don't, you know,
pay homage to pioneers.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
But then another thing is that you know right now
it's lam motherfuckers.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Who don't be that funny, but they be super famous.
And then it kind of just shifts everyone's opinion of
what comedy is. So then they see y'all, they see me,
they go, oh, I was laughing the whole time. I
ain't never done that in a comedy show I go
where you been, well, who you've been going to see?
Speaker 1 (27:33):
And I used to you?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
I usually I usually tell them, I usually say what
I do for a living, and then they kind of
rip off that.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I go, baby, I'm gonna talk. You gotta wear I'm talking. Yeah,
I got stuff saying, But Jay.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Don't you think that?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Like I get it, like pointing out, Oh, you know
there's people who are doing things that are not so
traditional or even things that you might not even consider funny.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Well, why not just be funny?
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Why do I have to point out the people who
I don't funny?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I think that like I get to be funny, but
then I also kind of have to hold people to
task because if you don't, everything shifts and then you
have your team telling you all, should you do this
that this person is doing? So then you have to
be like, Okay, I'm gonna make a very explicit call
to action basically where like you're never gonna have to
(28:21):
be like, oh, where does Jay stand on this? So
if I if y'all were to be like, oh, Ja,
would you ever do a crowd work Christmas special?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
No, I would not a crowd word Christmas?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Isn't that crazy then that though, But that's what I'm saying,
Like it's a corniash shit out there, and every now
and then it does reach a point where I do
like to call out, like, let's okay, like, uh, okay, what.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Are you saying?
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Specific No, when it comes okay, when it comes to
like a Tim Dillon right now, Tim Dillon, he's super popular,
but guess what, you don't get to say you're against
the American political machine.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
And then also text jd Vance that's cool he texting
jd Yes, texting him. That's what I'm saying, exact.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Exactly, but that's what I'm saying, Like, you don't get
to be like, oh, tear all this ship down and
then be like, what's up, Ivanka?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
You don't get to do that. She got text yes, yes,
what do you think she's doing? Morris code? Yeah, you know,
I don't.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
She she like she don't really talk. And also, and
I like, I like being a little chippy. I like
having people go I don't know, I got hey, I
gotta I gotta be careful around Jay because Jay, if
he sees some ship, he might call out.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I kind of like that. I like that because in
the people I love. It's all love.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
But if you ever go, oh, I'm a little bit worried, good,
be a little word around me, because if not, then
where do we end up? We end up in a
place where everybody fake, everybody lies, and then like those lies,
sometimes it's like all that person's other person's not the
funniest but like innocent. The other part of it is, now,
some people are are so actively racist and homophobic and
(30:02):
transphobic and evil that people pretend to be friends with them.
So like, if I make fun of Joe and Tony,
it's because motherfucker's from that club. Be Like I love
saying the N word in green rooms because it lets
other white comics know we end on this together. I
don't want to be friends with you if you're a
comic who goes on Bobby Lee's podcast and says, oh,
you know every now and then, I like to say
nigga in the green room because it lets other white
comics know that we in this together. I don't want
(30:23):
to be friends with you, said Ari from Fucking Mothership. Yeah,
and guess what if it's a joke, work on that joke.
But if it's the truth, you making Cam look stupid.
Because he came up with you. You making every black
comic who works a room if you look crazy.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
No they don't. I disagree, but you do know.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
You But if you but if you arms around these
motherfuckers and photos nigga on podcasts and say that ship.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Work is work, listen every time.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
But that's the thing, that's that.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
But I'm saying that that's a lot. To me, that's
a lie. And I can like be like, no, I'm not.
I can't being a photo for you telling people you
say nigger, I'm good on that that I've just said.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
When we start talking about morals and integrity and comedy,
it's it's a very fine line, like I wouldn't work here,
but this place is it is ran by Zionists, So like,
what what is it?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
What we're gonna talk about? Are we doing?
Speaker 3 (31:17):
I think that conversation is way more nuanced than like
if you're going around Bragg and saying you want to
say slurs.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I think that's a different conversation. Do you disagree? I
think it's not the same. Yeah, it's a similar basket.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
I just I don't ever want you to think that
I'm okay with you talking crazy about people who I
love or people who are a group of people.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
That I'm in.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
So that then I'm like, oh, yeah, we boys, It's
just it's just jokes and shit.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I'm okay with that that call out, but just the
stuff about who's funny who's not, because you're still platforming
those people. No.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Sometimes but like if someone's really someone you have.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Big platforms, Yeah, I agree, Jay, drag them if you But.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Then sometimes okay, like perfect example, if if someone says, oh, well, Jay,
like you don't like that person, are you actually are
you actually like jealous of them I have, that's when
I have to be like, well, look at my resume.
Look at their resume. They got a bunch of stuff
I don't want. I have a bunch of stuff that
he's still trying to get. So it is. It's true,
though don't have more than me. It's probably followers of money.
(32:21):
But if you look at respect, because the respect of
my peers and the respect of my fans and the
people who follow me and my patrons, that's super important.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
That's nice. But I'll take a little more money.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Money, but money also money, more money, I mean money
also is like there's a certain amount of money where
I go, Okay, you're making good money, but people kind
of looking at you.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Thirty million dollars from live NI for what? But for what?
You do a tour? Where do a crowd work special?
To a crowd work special? Million dollars? Nah, j you're not.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Christmas thirty million dollars.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
For doing it? Now, I'm a liar, Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
People are tell me about yeah, yeah, we never met.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
I never met.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
What way to be redundant? Thirty million? How long you
don't got to repeat the number you gon't do?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
How long you're gonna do it? How many cities I
don't want to hear it. How many cities you know?
How is it you go to for yours?
Speaker 3 (33:23):
I mean I worked on that tour for about two years,
like thirty dates a year for the past two years.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
So like, like thirty cities is fun. That's a lot. Yeah,
thirty cities, but CrowdWork for thirty I don't want to
thirty million dollars. That would be so painful. Million dollars.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
My ego is so big. I want to talk for
the hour. I hate talking to people and they're not fun. Okay,
So it doesn't have to be a crowd work Okay,
it has It doesn't need to be thirty cities for
thirty million to do a Christmas You're doing it, Jay,
You're Twitter.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
I got like a polo joint.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
You're unserious. I'm not a couple of polos, but is
aware is Ralph?
Speaker 3 (34:05):
If Ralph Lauren is sponsoring and I get a polo
brand campaign.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
You get thirty million dollars. No, you got a Sweetens
You making better sweeter than thirty million dollars.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Okay, so do I okay, let's look at Okay, let
me see if I can really justify.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Let me Sydney, Sydney thirty million dollars, Christmas crowd working,
yes with I wouldn't even think twice about it before
you would even say Christmas.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yes whatever you said.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Thirty million, yes, thirty million, thirty million, but no.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
One but benefit provide you. Jay, You're that The whole
thing is, You'll be like all duty. I'm a elitist
about comedy.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yes, we and that's where I'm gonna I want to
stop everybody.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
We are not curing cancer. We are not doctors, we
are not lawyers. But we are artists. We are entertainers.
Why are what is this?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
What is if that if they have a lane and
people are flocking to them, let them do their thing.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
But I think people I'm focused on, But I think
we should be able to make fun of dog ship.
You should should you should like you should be able
to be like man, you got your own lane.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
But if you ever come over here, I'll be like,
don't come over here.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Of course, and those people will not be in my circles.
But all I want to do is the people that
I know I don't even want to talk about, the
people who I don't really care about. Like Beyonce is
not mentioning people who she don't.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Want, No, but tell me who Okay, So Beyonce is
us in this situation? Who are I don't want to
were about? You about to say? What name? Were you
about to say? I'm not saying no names, no, but like, okay,
I'll say this.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
If Beyonce wanted to make fun of Kashan Rock, you
can make fun of Krishan Rock, you, beyon.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
But that's not clashing down. That's collection.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
The right way, uh, the right way to do it
is somebody uh.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Lower like a mid tier Harry Hilson.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Wait, whoa whoa?
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Okay, right, he already made fun of Beyonce. She got
in trouble and you see what happened. But if but
that's okay, But I'm not carry Hilson in this situation.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Who's Who's Scissa?
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Okay, okay, okay, let's call you Sis. Okay, I'm Sissa,
but Scissor work will Beyonce.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Right, but that's not the friends. Let's say you Scissor.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Okay, So somebody we have to think about somebody who's
more successful than or more famous than Scissa but less talent.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Morgan Wiland and jelly Roll. Okay, okay, are they more
They don't even know who those people are. They're more famous,
and Morgan Wild and jelly Roll are more famous country
artists and then a chef, jelly Roll a chef. But
he is the country artist? Is he a reality TV action?
He's also a rapper. They look like he looked like
jelly lit his song jelly Roll.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Yeah, I mean he got he got a jelly Roll
been making money.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
People love jelly Roll if you've never seen it.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
But if you've never seen jelly Roll, you know the
people who operate the fairest wheel ah like Carnees. Yeah,
he's a carney. He's got a carney. Look, he looks
very carne. You have Okay, you have been in the dollars?
You ever been in You ever been in the Dollar General? Yes, okay,
that's a jelly roll. Whoever you see when you walk in.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
I'm looking right now. Somebody with a big bat. You
ever seen a family dollar? Okay? Oh well he got
face tattoos. Let me see. Oh they got a lot
of nerve.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
But you want to say what I'm saying, So I
feel like you're talking about people.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Who have I'm talking about taste versus like popularity, I guess.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
And but you have to remember the time that we
living in. People love famous people, and people want to
be famous for the sake of being famous, and you
don't really have to have any skills job.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
But when I see people taking up space and not
necessarily earning it, it's not even an earn thing. It's
that they don't respect their fans, they don't respect the
kind of like art form that they're in, and they
don't necessarily even respect their peers who are more skilled
than them but not necessarily as marketable because they did
(38:08):
not have whatever people wanted to latch onto at the moment,
I do feel okay calling them out. I do I
feel okay saying hey, this isn't is so fucked up,
and you know what, I know it's fucked up. This
person is super popular and produces nothing but dog shit,
and this person is a genius and they're having their struggle.
I think that as a person who's kind of in
(38:29):
the middle of all that shit, I feel like I
do well enough, but I'm also very skilled. Like I
think that you, I think I'll get to be like, hey,
once you look at this person and then people are, oh,
that person's not popular.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Yeah, but that person's popular and they suck once you
make it.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
First of all, you got to remember this, right In
a post pandemic world, I feel like stand up comedy
is going through a renaissance, and the renaissance is very
much everybody wants to be a comedian and a lot
of these say that a lot of these influences, a
lot of these influencers, their agents and managers are like,
you got a lot of followers.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
People don't know that. People don't know this. People actually
don't know that this happens. So what happens is that
people like get popular from whatever, they get whatever, a
viral video, yeah, whatever, and so then they keep doing
the video and then people like sign them. So then
they get like a manager and an agent. They get
a team, and that team says, hey, you should go
on tour. What makes me upset about those tours is
they are scamming those people because people pay money to
(39:23):
see them.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
They go out, they pay money to see them, and what.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
They're paying scam. Government is a scam.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Scam. Everybody's getting scammed left and right.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
But y'all, don't scam people. I don't scam people are peers,
and we like, don't scam people. I mean, you know,
not on stage. Don't be scamming people.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Stage before surprise that have never seen that was so funny.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
And they go and I'm coming back with these other
people they never said they're coming back.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
They go, well, that's what the experience, that's what one
of the I was at some comedy club. The owner
said the same thing. He was like, these influencers show
up and the crowds are full and they sell out
the shows and they do like their one viral video,
and after that it gets.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Really sometimes they go I want to feel They say
you want to see an unreleased video.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
What they're playing the videos? They go pulls green. Now no, yeah,
that's realize. The crowds realize very quickly that the jokes
ain't there, or.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
That they go, oh, you know what you're gonna be Listen,
Marie is gonna be a live event.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
You're gonna stay a phone event.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
And I would be okay if that was happening, if
people went, I'm never gonna see you live.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I'm gonna watch you on that phone though, I'm gonna
watch that phone.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
But that's what happens. These people pay all this money
to see their faves. The jokes don't land. You can say,
they don't say there, the jokes ain't there, or they go,
how much time I gotta do?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Please do forty five? I can give you twenty, okay,
so bring that. I'm gonna bring five of my friends.
They go do time. So then these people mad because
they gotta watch people they don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Yep. To this, it's becomes a showcase. Now, these these
these fans never come back when they come.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
To But I will say, to Sydney's point, I understand
why I my mess might turn some people off.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Someone asked me recently.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
They said, but Jay, what if a person is friends
with a person you talked about and now they can't
be friends with you. I said, well, you know what,
that's a loss. I gotta take that. I gotta take that.
Someone said, well, someone said one time they were like, wow,
J Man, you're really getting on my boy. I said,
why is he Why is he still your boy? If
I'm getting on him this hard and we're boys, Okay,
I'm still gonna be friends with you.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
But that's you know, if that's your boy, get if
he's trying to check you.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Yeah, but then that's what's crazy.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
But Jay, what if it's like, Oh, I like Jay,
he's so funny, but every time I talk to him,
he's dragging somebody who's not funny.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
That's not a vibebe but you hear producers are laughing,
so it is kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
It is kind of a vibe.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
If you think every time every time I see J
he mad at somebody, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I'm joyful. We were just a Coushi. The root is Joy.
The room lit up, Yes, but my name is Joy.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
When I see I will I will say a personal
thing that I've seen on TikTok, Yes, you have been,
that's your thing.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Like, it's not a call in, it's a call out.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Well, I think I think on TikTok, you want to hook,
you want to be like. But I think that's like,
I think that's maybe ten percent of my online ship.
The rest of it is me talking about combooks, me
talking about comedy, not in the bad way, like in
a good way.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Me shining people out and be like, all these people
are so fun about.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
X Men, talking about x men, talking about animals, talk
about truly.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
I think that it is a smaller portion, but it
does get a bit more attention because people I like
the fact that some people do consider me just a
person go to and be like, oh, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (42:46):
What's kind of messy? Because that that has been lost.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
We have lost a little bit of like everybody's friends,
I my mess and this might I don't think everybody
needs to be friends.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
No, never, I agree everybody doesn't need to be friends.
But I don't think you need to be mean somebody
that you don't like.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
I've been, I have been.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
There have been two instances where I, if I look
back on it, I went, oh, okay, that was a
little that was a little hot. What you do that
was a little hot? Well, okay, so this is this
is what happened. So one time, so I told someone
that I was working on something and you know, and
then they were like, oh, and if it doesn't sell,
you can just cut it up and put on the internet.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
And I said, if it doesn't sell, I said, who
you're talking to? I said who? I said, who are
you talking to? It's sold, by the way. Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
So then so then you know, I did say something
a little crazy about this person. And now, well you
could it's on theirs on threads, I've said, we don't
have that. You can you can guess who I said
this about if you want to, if they tell us
what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
And then they were the Bravo show. I think now
we know.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Uh So that situation happened at It happened at a
party where they said that to me, and the reason
I had reaction They said that to me in front
like other comedians who are more famous in both of us,
and I was like, who the fuck you said this
to me? Look time out, don't ever.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
So that's why I was like, okay, I'm gonna have to.
I actually got to check you, and so that was
like why there was a caller. But looking back on
I don't think I had to, but I did, and
the word yes, yeah, but that is a crazy but
now y'all got it. That is a crazy thing to
say to me in front of Royal Junior and the
long glazer.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Right right, Yes, but I can. I'm Maria grat No, no, truly.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
But somebody who's not in the game, like the rest
of the people, they could have just been thinking like,
oh this this you just cut it up, you know
what I mean, like, because they're not thinking about it
in the same way as you think about comedy.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
And you're not wrong, but still a crazy thing to say. Yes, no, no,
truly truly, and like I did, I was like, what what.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
In the world and the time of social media, it
makes sense for someone like that to be like, well,
at least you have clips.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah yeah, and you know I'm always gonna have clips.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
I kind of think about clips and social media in
a way of like, all these are always just commercials
for you to come see me live. Because what people
don't know is that the way comics make money right now,
touring and like then if you get some sort of
deal through someone who is making something or like a
larger producing body or just like if you sell anything.
But like the first, like the first thing that's gonna
make you money right now is being on tour. Spot
(45:25):
pay is wonderful in the city, and if you pass
the right clubs, but like once you go tour, once
you once, you so good on weekends, once you hit
your bonuses.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Touring is everybody's touring musician, podcasters, stand up comedian.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Then in the summertime it's festivals. And this is.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
But my my goal, especially like right now, like you
can watch my special Hulu and you go see me,
and I'm doing a different hour than the Hulu right now,
like you can. I try to make my tour experiences.
I don't in regards to what we say with those clubs.
I want people to go, oh my god, I have
to see Jay again. Yes, oh my god, I have
to go back. Jay's amazing. That's my goal. That's what
(46:10):
I always do. That's also why I'm so like precious
about comedy, because like the minute you start turning people
away from comedy, you are fucking with my money a
little bit, just in a larger picture.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
If people start.
Speaker 3 (46:22):
To think stand up comedy is not good live, you
have fucked with me a little bit.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
That's not true that I see what your mind is doing.
But it's great it my fans. I think my fans
are gonna be my fans.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
But if people start going, I'll say them coming out
there funny, I have to go you're wrong, you're wrong,
and here's a list of people who are very funny
and very good live. I have to do that because
these people have poisoned the well.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
You're dating is trash.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
But everybody is still dating, no matter how many times
anybody there, everybody is not still dating. There are people
who there are plenty of people, specifically women and men,
who dating because they're like, I can't.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Hand, I'm not doing the apps. I'm not. It's poop
in the pool. A lot of people I agree with
you a little tell you, and I just want to
be honest with a lot of those girls that are online.
They're lying. I'm not talking about that. I'm saying in general,
women are you're saying.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
You're saying that everybody who's who hates dating is still dating.
That's what you're saying it.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
But it's not.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Someone's like still dating but they've been celibate for a year.
That's they ain't really dating no more. That they kind
of give people.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
And I think if you're the penis expert and you're
the coochie expert, I think I'm the dating expert.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
People are in my d MS. People are in my
d MS every day.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Any city I go to, they're talking to me about
dating in that city every day. There everyone is happy
about it, and there are people who fully are like, listen,
I ain't been on a date in this many years.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
There's not There's some famous TikTok councilor that went, I'm
gonna go date sober for a year. I'm gonna be
celibate for a year, and like they aren't. They aren't
gay man, because impossible. But a lot of women, a
lot of non binary people, a lot of people who
like have had bad experiences with dating.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
I just don't want.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
I'm protective and precious with stand up comedy because I
love it so much and because it's changed my life.
And like I know, I'm like mean and harsh about it,
but I do. I do admit that I do it.
I love but I also never push back. Whenever y'all
whenever both y'all like, well, Jay, you're messy. Do you
ever go I'm not messy? I go, you right, Yeah,
I got you damn right.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I go.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
I go pull the tweet up, I go repost it
if you want to screenshot it sends to somebody someone
one time they were like, oh well Jay, it's always
like straight white guys.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
They go, aren't you worried about? Aren't you worried about
your career? And I go, why are you whispering? Aren't
you worried about? Not Listen.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
I always make a very calculated point that if I
ever say something crazy about you, it's because I'm okay,
never working with you.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
That is my thing.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
So no, Matt Rife and Jay Jorden to truly, let
me tell you, that's his though.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
That's what he's doing. That's what he's doing. What he got,
that's why they keep throwing money. Yeah, and you know
what they are throwing them respect respectfully. We'll tell you
what there's.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
I know a lot of people who got a lot
of respect in comedy and they cannot pay their bills.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I don't want to put nobody's name.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Out there but a lot of respector just respect, like
a lot.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
They write jokes, they're funny, but like a lot of respect,
and they can't pay their bills, and they can't pay
their bills. Okay, all right, they can write a joke,
they get laughs on stage, they're booked at places, and
they can't pay their bills, and they they ain't gotta
like okay.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Sound like they need to start an only fans. What
can we can?
Speaker 3 (49:46):
We look at the expenditure. We gotta look at the
money going out. I mean, I'm also like, I'm a
very what's the best way to put this. I'm like,
because I'm thirty seven, I'm also at a place where
I just I truly don't want to have to be
around people I don't like for a long time. So like,
if I ever had to like sit sit around with
people who like I don't think are funny, who I
(50:07):
don't respect, who don't like gay people, who don't like
black people, who don't like trans people, I'm just gonna
be like, well, I'm getting up.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
I don't believe it.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
I just don't have that sort of like I need
y'all to like me energy anymore. I just don't have it,
and because like I kind of have, I'm spoiled. I'm
very spoiled. I mean that I'm very lucky. I'm very spoiled.
I have gotten everything I've wanted in comedy so far
while talking shit, and.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
You know what, that's why you're gonna keep talking shit.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
I've just not no one's ever been like, oh well no, Jay,
we can't we can't put we can't put you on
the podcast with Joe Nigga dit An ask m hm.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
And if he wanted to, if he was like, we
gotta reach out so we could argue, I'll be like, Okay,
let's talk about let's talk about bears, let's talk about wrestling,
let's talk about kinesiology, let's talk about muscles, let's talk
about bodybuilding. We can talk about anything except for trans people.
And if we do that, now we're gonna fight, cause
like what hm hmm, what do I want from some
of these people besides access to Netflix, Hulu or uh.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
I guess Amazon or HBO. But that's what I was like,
if you say you got it all, you got everything
that you want.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
That yeah, but he didn't he got but say that
like that, But I think he's wanted in comedy. He's
gotten so far he's gotten. You've been on the Tonight
Show four times. You have the Hulu special. I got
that while Talking Ship, you got Talking Shit.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
I got that after at the beginning of the year.
People said, oh, I don't know you have enough followers
to get a special.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
And then you said, well, they don't post these commercials,
and then you have it.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
You have a Netflix. No, I don't have a Netflix.
You didn't do the ten minutes. No. And the crazy
part about Netflix is that I did a warm up.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
I did warm up for the Verified Standards.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
They asked me to do that. I said absolutely. Here's
here's the crazy part.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
So they asked me and I said, okay, I walk
in Rosebud, don't say Nimes, Jamarco, Robbie.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
They wouldn't say you going up. I said, I'm doing
warm up.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
They said why, I said, that's them I was.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I was traveling when that happened, so I wouldn't have been.
I wasn't in town for that anyway. But they're like,
I know you're away, but Netflix has if you can
warm up, we can.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Actually talk about the mess that is that. I'll say
it so sometime I'm not about to I'm not about
to burn the bridge. But this is writ large whenever
you ask black comedians who you think are very funny
to warm up a crowd, you go, oh.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Yeah, I know this crowd likes me because I'm gonna crush.
Speaker 3 (52:31):
But y'all are using black people when you could have
put them on the lineup, but then they kind of go, oh, no,
we want you.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
It was the way that I took it was funny
enough to get the room hot, but not funny enough
to showcase me like you're showcasing the other.
Speaker 3 (52:49):
But also in regard to that particular when they tried
that failed experiment in part because it couldn't make anyone
pop off the way they wanted to, because they didn't
chop it up for the people individually.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
They were just they.
Speaker 3 (53:02):
Cutting two so you had to so it. They didn't
even get to go watch mine. They had to say, hey,
if you two people in, it's gonna get good.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
So and that was like a thing that like looking
back on it silver lining for me because then I
just was like, oh, okay, okay, thank good.
Speaker 1 (53:18):
But like I got I got to Netflix fast.
Speaker 3 (53:20):
I got Netflix is a joke Fast, got to do JFL,
I got do Variety. I like did all three jfls
this year. I've no one's ever said, oh, Jay, we
can't put you on this thing because you talked shit.
Because guess what, I'm never talking shit about producers. I'm
never talking shit about execs. I'm talking about a comic
who I don't like. I'm talking about comic who says
(53:41):
something stupid I'm talking about I'm talking about a comic
who like, I don't think it's fit to like wash
my jockstrap.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
That's who I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
But what about the execs? What about the net what
about the networks? Those are the big businesses that are
actually the reasons why.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
But I guess like that can get on. But there's
a crazy part about it. I like this, I love
doing that. I love them, but.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
We love you talking shit. Yeah, I'm not talking about
Robbie and Netflix. I'm talking ship about people who I go,
I don't love this whatever it is you're doing. And
athletes get to talk to ship, artists get to talk ship.
The fact that people then comics can't talk shit, that
limits us, doesn't it.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
But comics do talk shit exactly about stuff and society.
Speaker 1 (54:31):
About each other.
Speaker 3 (54:32):
It's people that go to it's people that sit down
at the clubs that we are at.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
After they do that set and argue for hours.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
I mean, we've all seen people go, y'all, stop fighting
in front of all these people. We arguing, We argue,
we argue the minute I kind of go, I don't
think they're bitch funny.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
They go, oh, why would you say that? Listen?
Speaker 2 (54:51):
It was a comic that posted something on their Instagram
the other a couple of weeks ago that had everybody
at certain clubs mad.
Speaker 3 (54:57):
Yeah, so and that was a lie and I was
a lie, and that was a big old fat lie.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
Am I line?
Speaker 3 (55:04):
No, no, no, because guess what the craziest part about
that If you say that about a club and you
walk back in and accept money from that club, that club,
and go, hey, man, just so you know, don't be
talking about don't be talking about that.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
He was there the next day, next day. But that's
what I'm saying. But that is not going to ban him.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
To me, that's messier than anything I'm doing. That's messy,
that's real messy. I'm just going, hey, this way, this way.
The industry works every now and on threads, every nothing
on Twitter. I would even argue that what I'm doing
is a public service.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
You know what, You're a philanthropist.
Speaker 3 (55:38):
I'm a philanthropic. I'm giving money back. I'm passing out turkey.
It's like you know, Brown on Thanksgiving. I'm helping these people.
I'm helping people. Go Oh Jay Jay Jay talks a
little shit. He's still out everything and wants maybe I
can talk a little shit about it.
Speaker 1 (55:50):
Here's what I'm saying, Here's what I'm say about it.
As a comedian.
Speaker 2 (55:54):
Once people decide they like you, once they decide that
you're funny, they don't on board with anything that you're saying.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
You do. That's it.
Speaker 3 (56:02):
Well, I mean in the bad way too, because Chris
Deliah still be having people come see him.
Speaker 1 (56:07):
They bringing the kid. He's a pro.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
He's a problematic dude, but he's funny the whole problematic.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
He's also you can say, you could say it. The
allegations is out there.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Yeah, statutory statutory you are barely eighteen and a cult
basically while the wife was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (56:24):
Yeah, but the wife was pregnant. Yeah, But did Adam
Levigne do the same thing. This is men in entertainment
and generally.
Speaker 3 (56:30):
And then it was just kind of cheating.
Speaker 1 (56:33):
He was cheating, okay, he said, she my wife is
big for some reason. What you're doing tonight? He said that, No,
I did not say that she was pregnant.
Speaker 3 (56:44):
She sat there over the past, over the past seven months,
this helped to let herself go cheat. It's all in
the belly to feet somehow, nose spreading, what's up?
Speaker 1 (56:55):
Where are you at today? Cheating on your pregnant wife
is mess.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
But also like, because all three of us get along,
I accept these conversations and these critiques and these notes
from y'all.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
If y'all weren't funny, I wouldn't let y'all say this.
You know what I'm saying. Don't you know what I'm saying?
If I just stay.
Speaker 3 (57:33):
But if y'all weren't funny, if we didn't come up together,
if I didn't love y'all, I'd be like, what the
fun y'all know about? Because truly, some people will defend mediocrity,
not only mediocrity, but they'll go, oh, why does why
do people have to be good?
Speaker 1 (57:47):
And I go, well, that's a crazy question that everyone
whod I've never heard that.
Speaker 3 (57:53):
Everyone says, Oh, you don't have to be good now,
you just gotta make sure you find you can find
your angle, find your find your clip, find find it,
find it?
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Why you be good? People who are not good talk
like that.
Speaker 3 (58:03):
But I'm saying what I'm saying, a lot of people
aren't good, and what they see is they go, people
are chasing virality, People are chasing desperation. People are chasing
People are treating stand up comedy not like something you like,
work on and get better at. And you go, I'm
doing stand up comedy, but I'm gonna do this side.
I'm gonna do stand up comedy. I'm gonna get this one.
(58:25):
I'm gonna get this one guest star role on an
episode of TV. Go back to doing stand up comedy.
I'm doing standup comedy. I'm gonna go in this writer's
room for a little bit. I'm just stand up comedy.
I'm gonna get to do this movie. I almost do
stand up comedy. I get to do this shorter set
on the network, but I get to do back to
my hour.
Speaker 1 (58:38):
People aren't treating like that.
Speaker 3 (58:39):
People are treating like stand up comedy like ooh, if
I have this one clip of this one crowd member
telling me that his dick don't work is gonna make
me a superstar, and.
Speaker 1 (58:49):
I don't like that. I do not like it.
Speaker 3 (58:52):
And so when people kind of give that advice to
everyone in the beginning with when you send the motherfucking
troppods an open when you asking people at an open
mic what they do for a living nigga the same
thing as you waiting to get five minutes on this list.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
I don't. I don't and I'm not.
Speaker 1 (59:12):
Even pulling the letter up behind me because I shut
out comics. Every no you do, I.
Speaker 2 (59:16):
Will say that you do use your your platform for good.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
No, no, no, I think I am here for that.
Speaker 2 (59:25):
The only thing is like I'll be at the comedy
clubs or people have these discussions about comedy and I'm
gonna hit them with kim people are dying true, just.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
Like that we be hung up on is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (59:39):
It's like I rather rather the people that I follow
online that I enjoy, or like an example, Marie will
talk about her ship that she's got going on in
the she'll specifically this person.
Speaker 1 (59:51):
Is is stupid that happened to me?
Speaker 2 (59:54):
Instead of hitting random people that she's doesn't have that
are not really entangled with. I feel like that is
that doesn't do it for me. I want to hear
about your ship, but what.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Is there is there?
Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
But is there a line when like they're kind of homophobia, racism, transphobia,
or just sort of bigotry reaches reaches like a critical
mass where you as a black person, as a quick person,
as a person with a bunch of trans people who
you love in your life. Isn't there sometimes where you
got to say, hey man, there's some people saying some
stupid as ship right now I have to address it.
(01:00:30):
Or just so you know, not all stand up comics
are okay with this motherfucker shit, because that is a
place where we are headed. Because every interview I have now,
people go, oh, don't you love the fact that like
comedy is getting back to comedy. You can say whatever
you want. I can say whatever the fuck I want
all the time. Those motherfuckers want to say stupid shit.
Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
The difference that's like I I think I have to
say it because I don't. I don't think anyone else
is qualified. Both from a martialized identity standpoint, from a
popularity standpoint, from a traditional success standpoint, and from an
Internet success standpoint to call out because they go, oh
(01:01:09):
Jay's not funny, Well that's a lie. All day's not successful.
Well that's why, Oh J doesn't. Why did Jay care
about these groups? I'm part of these groups. I think
because of that kind of triangulation of effects, I feel
like I have to like say something every now and then.
Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
For Neo, you're the one, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
I say you're the Malcolm X of comedy. I'm not.
I'm one hundred Yeah, because I used to be a hole.
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
He was a sex worker, I'm not. He was, he was,
he was, I wasn't. In the movie Malcolm X with
a sex Worker.
Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Wait, wait a minute, and it might have been in
the beginning he was. Wait when he was hooking up
with that white woman.
Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Malcolm X was the hustler. He was.
Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
He people paid him for sex, which people black people.
It's right in the book Malcolm.
Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
X with sex Worker. Look it up. Look it up
right now, did you get Look I got this from
dum only.
Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
Yes, yes, yeah, he had a he had a my
only fans mean necessary.
Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
Let me look this up. You said Malcolm X was a.
Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
Sex work was a sex worker? Yeah, Michael, Malcolm X
was a male prostitution. What is this special, because that's
that's next in the next hour, Malcolm triple X.
Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Yeah, I'm gonna Malcolm X sex work.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Malcolm Malcolm triple X by any pens necessary, by any pens.
Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
They said, Malcolm X bisexual question mark.
Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
That'sing Reddit question mark.
Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
That's how you know the root Malcolm X and his
sex get to the root, from the root of to
the tutor.
Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
The sex work of Malcolm X. Sick of being low?
Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
Had you got with his home means? I want to
know what it means to be love?
Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
Okay, it did say a teenage Malcolm was back doing
sex work with a rich white guy. Oh not connect
what's fine? Not lobs and pasta? What he'd be feeding
me in lobster and papa. Well, what I'm saying, I'm like, Ah,
(01:03:14):
there's just so much that you can talk about that's
not but that's people in your feet.
Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
These majority of is that I talk about, Like, if
you actually the I think me calling people out does
get a little bit of focused And I do like
that because as a queer black person, I don't say
as a queer person. As a queer person, they really
don't expect queer men to pop off. They expect us
to be me. They expect us to be quiet about
this ship. They expect us to let everyone call us
(01:03:42):
all types of fagus. They expect no, none of us
to be funny on stage for straight people. They don't
expect us to be able to do well in the
straight rooms.
Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
They so crazy in this day and age, after all
that the gays have given us, and that they all
of the entertainment that they provide.
Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Listen, these dudes still are mad.
Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
They can't say faggot, So now they say faggot and
they think it was gonna be like, oh, they said
it so like that, But that's like that's their push,
that's like there they want to be able to punch.
Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Not only that's their person line.
Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
That's like there, they really mean that, even because like
a while ago, Louis had a joke where he was
figuring out how he could say nigger and how he
can say faggot. And now they're still doing that, and
you kind and be like Louis c K did this
joke years ago and he figured out as soon as.
Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
He did it, they all tried to do it. We
were coming up there twenty sixteen seventeen to drop it. Yeah,
an N word A word, a word.
Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
So when that like has a place to like thrive
and fester and metastasize and get bigger and bigger and bigger,
if I don't call that out, then I feel kind
of crazy. And I've done less of like just calling
out people who are like, I don't think that person's
finding it. I've done a little bit less Now. I'm
kind of like, all that person's an asshole. All that
person like is pretty transphobic. I've trying to make it
(01:04:58):
less of, Like I don't think it's person is funny,
because that is more so that is subjective. That is subjective.
Some people you know they're gonna do, They're gonna do
what they want to do.
Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
People gonna write for them, while people you're gonna do
what they're gonna do. I think might be the title
of episode.
Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
People are gonna gonna do what they want to Snapcoochie Benefits.
Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
Snapcoocie Benefits is a hook. The hook right there, Malcolm
triple excel by any pains necessary.
Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Maria we didn't land on Plymouth cock
Plymouth cock landing, I hit.
Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
You first, but on the side of us.
Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
But I like I also, but like, I want to
have this conversation with y'all. The thing that actually makes
me when I get heated is when people who I
don't like say this stuff to me, because I go,
I don't like you, why are you talking to me?
Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Has anybody ever pulled up on you? Yeah? The people people?
Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
So what happened? I think I was. I was at
a party. I was at some sort of common.
Speaker 1 (01:05:58):
Party right in front of the Bokasota. It's like, let
me talk to you. This is what they said. This
is what they said.
Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
They said, hey, you know, you're probably gonna get farther
like not talking about people. And I went to the
exactly what I said, y'all there, I said, I have
not talked about anyone who I want to work with.
Speaker 1 (01:06:18):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
And if someone goes, oh, WHI y'all want to work
with you, roll the tape. Make sure make sure you
want to work with me, because like, well that's true.
Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Just make sure make sure you want to work with me.
I don't want to work with you.
Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
We make sure you I want to work with me
if I've said it about you and that ship stung.
Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Sorry here let's talk about this.
Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
So our friend and yours Iowa Debris was on a podcast,
would you answer a question?
Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
She made a comment about Jayleen.
Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
Then fast forward, I don't know how many years, probably
asked seven or eight right seven years later they asked
io to host s and l and the musical guest
Jennifer little Bit somebody, Yeah, somebody messy jug up the.
Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Podcast yeah, and was like, look at what she is? Yeah,
who did that?
Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
People on the internet bored people, sleuth people. People could
do that about me with j Low. But then they
also had to be like, listen, I have made fun
of her. But I also say Waiting for Tonight is
one of the best gay songs ever. Waiting for Tonight
changes gave people's lives.
Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
When it comes on an amendment to that, it's just
a great song. It's a great Okay. I was gonna
waiting for Tonight.
Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
I still see the green lights.
Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
I don't ever pretend like what I said on the
Internet didn't occur, Like it's just.
Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
Oh, you've not you've not done a sweep, you've not
done a tweet. Cleanse.
Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
I mean the tweet, don't they They cleanse after a
certain aunt time.
Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
They do not Because after the Kevin Hart fiasco, when
his old tweets got dug up, that's when I cleared
mind because I don't know what the hell I was
talking about.
Speaker 1 (01:08:01):
I mean, I probably have. No.
Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
It's hard for me to be like, oh, I don't
stand by that because if it was funny, I usually
say something so crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
Yeah, but you might have. You might have tweeted something
in twenty twelve that you don't necessarily look up. Let
me look up Jay Jurton, twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
But it's so hard for I'm also, you don't relax
and I'm gay.
Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
If I said a nigga, If I said a faggot,
let it rock. No, but we're not. I'm not in
trouble for that. You get in trouble, or to get
in trouble. If I'm about throwing out house, yeah he said.
Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
He he says gonna hit his son over the head
with a doll house if he got it, and then
he he didn't get the oscars.
Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:08:39):
Okay, Jay Jurden controversial, this is seven years ago. I
just want to be naked on HBO before I die, and.
Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
Then and then that happened, and then I and then
and then my ass is on HBO. How mad I
got to put my boody on that? They asked with
my team, I said yes in the front. They asked
for from I said yes. My team said, Jay, don't
say yes, we can. We can negotiate you. But but I said,
I can show my Dick said, day, this is the
first time on TV. Let's wait, that's a way, I said.
(01:09:06):
I said, I'll send the text now, they said.
Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
He said, I'm not mad at it. He said, put
it on there. Need I think.
Speaker 3 (01:09:16):
I think it's harder to find crazy stuff for me
because my existence online is crazy. If I'm talking about
wanting to blow one of the X men, you ain't
gonna be like, we trust.
Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
Everything, he said. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (01:09:27):
If I'm talking about, oh, I need to suck bishops,
Dick like, that's not this bishop. He's the one with
the locks. It's tougher for you to take me seriously.
Speaker 1 (01:09:38):
You're killing me.
Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Okay, though, what you did, I feel like you did it.
I honestly, Jay, I'm not gonna lie. I've said before
I'm like, Jay is really funny.
Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
Yeah, well, you know he always but you're not wrong
saying that.
Speaker 3 (01:09:51):
I would never be like, I can't believe Sidney said
I'm starting drama anyway, girl.
Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
Guess what? Like, no, no, no, I don't disagree.
Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
And that's why I was like, Oh, I'm glad you
came to and you've you've shifted.
Speaker 1 (01:10:01):
I said. Fuck in the middle of this, I was like,
all right, I guess he's got mad points.
Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
Well, it's just but the harder part for me isn't oh,
that person is not funny. The harder part for me
is that person actually is kind of evil.
Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
Because if someone said, oh, Jay.
Speaker 3 (01:10:18):
Because we all the motherfuckers who are kind of evil
and like in this industry, In this industry, I mean
like truly where you go, you're like, oh, you're the devil,
holy shit. So like that has been the shift for me.
Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
So now the execs, that's the producer, that's the network.
Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
But but here's the thing. I do call out streamers.
Speaker 3 (01:10:40):
I literally said, I said a few weeks ago, I said,
if you want to turn your platform into a into
like a rental space for people who are bad, then
you're not gonna have any you're not gonna have any
critical a claim. So if you want to put people
in front of all your fans and all the people
who are subscribing to your stuff who are not good
at comedy, don't be surprised when those fans are terrible
(01:11:02):
and make you create terrible ship. And like, if you
know who that's about, you know who that's about, if
you know what trend that is, you know what trend
that is. And that's me calling them out because they
saw numbers. They saw numbers, but be for real, they
saw numbers on YouTube and they said, oh, let's do that,
and then the YouTube people they forgot. YouTube people are
different than subscribers because them YouTube people they like YouTube
(01:11:27):
because they can say evil ship directly to you.
Speaker 1 (01:11:30):
They want to go, it's not funny.
Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
My gosh, Harbor, she's not funny funny, Like that's you
know what I'm saying, But like it is a very
it is a very kind of like it's an intentional
effort on my part.
Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
Whenever I call shit out.
Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
I've never been like all that person who's knew it
comedy isn't funny because keep in mind, part of the
reason people like kill Tony's get they get to see
people bomb. I don't want to see people who are
just starting out comedy bombing and have them ruin their careers.
Speaker 1 (01:12:01):
I don't want.
Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
That for them because I didn't have to go through that,
and I'm better for not having gone through that. But
because the resources are limited, everything's kind of shrunk people.
It's the only way I can make it. This is
the only way I can the only way I can
make Let this man make fun of me.
Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
But there are people who've made it big on the rude.
But guess what.
Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
You can't be racist and then have the only person
who makes it out of your fucking racist bullshit be
a nigga from Orlando.
Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
And I'm just saying what but he did what. You
can't be racist.
Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
And have the only person who makes it, big guy
be a black person from Orlando and then keep saying
racist shit. Okay, this point, I don't I don't even
know if Cam is still assiliated.
Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
That's exactly is he? Probably no more. Let's see if
we can get them on the pot. You don't need them,
but here's it. But God, but if get on that.
But if your whole thing is.
Speaker 3 (01:12:56):
You want white boys to get up in front of
a panel of other comedians and say nigger, then you're
more the most famous person from your open mic. It
is an open Your most famous person from an open
mic is a nigga.
Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
That ship ain't lining.
Speaker 3 (01:13:11):
Enough for me, because you need to be nice to
niggas because they're giving credibility to your bullshit.
Speaker 1 (01:13:17):
Is that not true?
Speaker 2 (01:13:19):
I don't think that the black people are giving them credibility.
The white people don't think they need it.
Speaker 1 (01:13:23):
But you're like, we're.
Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
Gonna say what we want anyway, and our audience, the
demo of people who come are people who say that
word at home, Madison Square Garden, Boo Knights in a
row credibility.
Speaker 3 (01:13:36):
But then you can't you can't be like, oh look
at we can get you on SNL. But then you
can't say they didn't say that, but they are saying
and that.
Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
Well maybe, but Cam got on there because he's funny,
truly good.
Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
But you can't be. But I don't think you can be.
Speaker 3 (01:13:50):
I don't think you can be antagonistic towards black people
and then a black person helped help your thing.
Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
I don't know. I don't know nothing about kill Tony.
I don't know how even knowing it's like, who's to say?
Is it a burger joint? What is this?
Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
I thought it was a cartoon the Wesley Snipes having
to shoot him during the race war that clip. But like,
I just I'm strict about that kind of stuff because
for me, it is like the height of hypocrisy to
like champion people who want to kind of be evil
towards black people and towards women and towards trans people,
(01:14:28):
and then the person that's making your brand the most
famous is a black person. I think that hypocritical. I
think it's shortsighted. I think it's I think it's corny. Really,
I've an activist? Is that what at all? I can't say.
I can't claim an activist.
Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
I don't do enough work to be activists every now
and they go there you go look, go for me, Okay,
there political action, Okay, click the link. I can't be
activists because I'm a comedian. For me, now is the activist?
Wait a minute, is that what we're saying here on
mess I'm more of.
Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
A comedie and then I am an activist.
Speaker 3 (01:15:01):
So if I claim the activist title, I gotta be
doing more activist stuff than comedy stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:15:05):
Do you disagree?
Speaker 3 (01:15:08):
But I'm being for real with that because if someone said, oh,
j you're actives, I'm a comedian who has done activist stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
I'm a comedian who has helped with some mutual a If.
Speaker 3 (01:15:18):
You come me activists, you're gonna have to be like, well, Jay,
you haven't spoke up enough about no true.
Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
Yeah, once you put that title on there, you better
be boots on the ground baby all the time, every story.
Jesse Jackson, No, you got you? I mean you, j
Jesse Jordan Jackson. Yeah, activist. I don't want you to
talk on the next post. I need something. It needs
to make sense.
Speaker 3 (01:15:42):
Justice for ball, Justice for balls. It's not even like
I'm giving activist. I'm just trying to really think about
this from just from a strategy standpoint, Like if if
I think about everything I do and everything I say,
it's either attention grabbing so that people go look at
my stuff and go oh, he's very funny, where they
go ooh, Jay's really outspoken and they agree with the
(01:16:03):
point even if they go I don't like comedy, but
I do like what he's saying. And if someone kind
of like disagrees with me instantly, did not also have
their attention because they might comment that boost algorithm. I'm
not saying controversial stuff so that people don't pay attention.
I'm saying this ship so that you think I didn't
know people were gonna repost all the stuff when I
posted that the crazy thread, when I said, oh, this
(01:16:24):
is how I feel about Tony, this is how I
feel about Tim Didllon, this, I feel about je Rogan,
this half about theobon.
Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
I want people to post that. I want people to go,
ooh I agree. I want people to go.
Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
I disagree, and I'll be like, why tell me why
quote sweet quote engagement.
Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Yeah, it's not like strategy Day has a strategy and
I didn't even know that.
Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
And a publicist which is yeah, my public is they
don't even they like it. You're serious about.
Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
Work show tomorrow, they gonna give me I'm gonna say
something crazy. They're oh, please do and make sure you
shout outs, be like.
Speaker 1 (01:16:57):
You know, you know who you'll should have on here.
Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
I'd be like, Josh, you know you need to have next.
But I also value conversations with people who I like,
so like I get to hang out with y'all and
we get to have these conversations whenever.
Speaker 1 (01:17:09):
Whenever I do stand up, I do want stand up
to be the focus.
Speaker 3 (01:17:12):
Like the Special to me is very good because I
don't talk about nothing in the special exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:17:16):
You know what I mean. It's just jokes.
Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
It's just I say one thing about podcasts, but I
kind of talk about how like the manisphere in general's
fucking men up.
Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
But like my goal is for people to get to
my comedy.
Speaker 3 (01:17:27):
If it takes being a little messy, if it takes
talking a little ship, if it takes me being in
the speedo, if it takes me kind of like being
politically aware, Like all those things should lead back to
you buying.
Speaker 2 (01:17:40):
A ticket, okay, send us a speedo pick for the
dump okay, and then send us like a strategy thing
like I need I want to like I need them,
I want to follow.
Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
So I should talk ship a little bikini post. Then
I see you girl, you know for you know I
do not use now why would I use have j
I have the equation right here.
Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
If you talk a little ship, talk a little ship
showlotle dick.
Speaker 1 (01:18:10):
That's it, little ship shoulder dick. That sounds like a
good that might be Yeah, yeah, like Malcolm X.
Speaker 3 (01:18:20):
I can't believe you'all were like Malcolm X want fucking
sucking for money.
Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
I didn't know we had. I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
I didn't teach that dirt like I didn't know that.
I watched the movie so many times.
Speaker 1 (01:18:30):
You don't know her. You didn't get to do it.
You can do a poem on that.
Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
Oral report on his oral situation. The ir eyes is
really Max. Come on, yeah, he's the Maya Angelou Malcolm X.
He was putting it down on Betty shabaz Yo. She
was in there justice for Betty. Yeah, hey, back that
you bads up. I gotta go back to herd.
Speaker 1 (01:18:55):
That you bas up is also a good.
Speaker 3 (01:19:00):
This is why I talk ship because I'm fun I'm
not that funny.
Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
Listen, hey, hey, look at me.
Speaker 3 (01:19:06):
I love every comment every comic who've ever talked about.
I won't say anything bad about you for the rest
of the day, for the day, for the rest.
Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
For the rest the day. We need Marie hol Me
say this the rest of the day. Let me to this.
I'm not talking about anybody today, for the rest of
the day, for the rest of the day, for the
rest of the day.
Speaker 2 (01:19:28):
That is, Oh my god, I can't believe that I
had an appeal on my Instagram on my account that
should have been my mess yes, because I did, I
didn't add for a lift, and then I posted it
and they were supposed to monetize it and they were like, oh,
we can't monetize it because you had a violation. A
violation because I posted a picture of a barbie doing
(01:19:51):
cocaine from my show. And they were like, oh, you
cannot do ads until February second of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (01:19:58):
What because of barbel.
Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
Because you can't be soliciting drugs, doing drugs, bullying, violence, nudity.
Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
What One time I posted I posted my booty so
that people were buy tickets to a show. Uh, and
then someone reported the booty and then but like booties
are allowed, just a little bit of booty I think
is allowed. Cancel home. No, that's the only thing that's evil.
But uh, they reported me and then I peeled and
(01:20:31):
Instagram was like you can you can do that. They
were like you can, you can put your booty up.
So it went back up. But I had like people
kind of try to get me in situations like that,
who would have reported you.
Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
Oh, honey, I don't know, but they I I was
distraught because it's it's money, you know, I'm trying to
get paid. And uh yeah they got, they got. They
just got back to me.
Speaker 1 (01:20:52):
What they say.
Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
They said, Hey, I have the best news. Just got
the message from the policy. It looks like we made
a mistake and remove something you post it on Facebook
Instagram that didn't go against our community standards. We want
to apologize and let you know that we've restored your
content and removed any blocks on your account related to
this incorrect action.
Speaker 1 (01:21:11):
I should sue. That's great, z. Yeah. They don't want
people to get money either. That's another thing they're like.
Speaker 2 (01:21:18):
So many peopleff is not monetized on Instagram, so many
how long it's been Wait, why, Marie, I don't know
front Wait if it's not my Instagram is not monetized.
Speaker 3 (01:21:28):
And people but you know, and people think all all
these videos make money.
Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
Those people think about my videos used to be monetized.
Now they are no longer monetized. I got to update
my tax stuff, so mine aren't coming to you. I
gotta get my I'm gonna send you Michaels Michael's number, Yes,
and so you hit him up.
Speaker 1 (01:21:43):
He'll help you for sure. Who missed? Wow, we did it?
We really this is.
Speaker 3 (01:21:49):
An extended I'm also glad that we have this conversation
because so many people think you can't have this conversation,
like I think, a legit conversation about like the pros
and cons of like talking a little shit it. And
because we work both in an industry that's like artists
but also like make your money, like having these conversations
and they continue. But we can't even have these conversations
(01:22:10):
because the minute you say, oh, I don't really I
don't know how I feel about them, people go, oh,
you should be best friends, or they go, oh, you
should hate them.
Speaker 1 (01:22:16):
I don't think anyone has to hate the people I hate.
Speaker 3 (01:22:19):
But you just take you know, every down there and
listen to what I'm saying about these people, because they
do be scamming folks I don't like. I don't like
people scamming people when they come to see them. If
I say, oh, you just trick those people and give
you money, okay, listen.
Speaker 1 (01:22:32):
Let me tell you some people want to be scammed's
okay money give ways.
Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
Don't care you see how they live their lives and
their homes and whatnot. They're okay, listen, they stay giving
out their emails the last four digits of their Social Security.
Those people want to get their money took, and they
got extra four of the Social I can't.
Speaker 1 (01:22:52):
I can't get mad at them. That's me.
Speaker 3 (01:22:54):
I got scammed one time. The way they got me,
they got me a well Spargo. They got me a
while ago. They called me up up. They said there's
some charges on your account. I said where. They said, Houston.
I said, I'm not in Houston. How can I fix it?
I said, okay, all you gotta do is give me.
I said, okay, I'm gonna give it to you. They
ran they and then the crazy part about me getting
scammed is I call that number back. I said, Hey,
y'all scammed me. Y'all ain't Wells Fargo.
Speaker 2 (01:23:18):
Wait, a number called you and I said something about
Houston and then you might to verify your information, and
you gave them your actual information.
Speaker 3 (01:23:24):
No, I said, I'm gonna call Wells Fargo, and Wells
Fargo said we didn't make that call. And then I
called that number back and I said, y'all scammed y'all
gonna give me. Yeah, y'all pick up yes, because.
Speaker 1 (01:23:33):
They thought I was calling back to give them in form.
And what did they say? Is it I'll never get
I was walking in the little fields. I said, oh
my god, he's okay. Let me let me come up back.
Speaker 2 (01:23:44):
Hey, shooters, gotta shoot. They almost got you got you
got when I got I got robbed.
Speaker 1 (01:23:50):
It's not sad. It's not sad. I did get robbed.
Speaker 3 (01:23:53):
They only got like forty They got like one hundred
dollars out of me because I shut the cars down.
Speaker 1 (01:23:57):
But even then they robbed me. I was like, y'all
know we can shut cars is down. Where did you
get up, Rob Harlem? Recently? Did they hit you too? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:24:07):
Him in the back of the head, Like they took
my coach bag, so they like to know you were
gag they took that was they took the coach Empire bag,
which was funny because then when they run away, I
was like, some fucking faggots with a purse.
Speaker 1 (01:24:21):
Did they they? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
Yeah, Well it wasn't two sexy Nigeria, So I'm kind
of what did they hit you with?
Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
Justice?
Speaker 2 (01:24:29):
Small?
Speaker 3 (01:24:29):
Let got gang him? Not he got hit by No,
it was a gang jump. They jumped him.
Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
Wait, Jay, what did they hit you? They hand and
they said they had a gun. Ja did they show
your bag I had? I had the big joint. They
knew you were a game. You look if you look.
Speaker 3 (01:24:49):
At the podcast with Devin, if you look at my
favorite lyrics, like it's that the light one, the leather one.
They got that one. They ran away with it, totop
in it. No, it had my cards, my keys, and
my and then I also had to get new glasses.
I had a concussion and I did a podcast next day.
I was very funny because I didn't know I was concussed.
Uh yeah, wait did.
Speaker 1 (01:25:09):
They're not supposed to sleep when you have a concussion.
Speaker 3 (01:25:11):
You can't sleep when you have a concussion. So I
was like in and out all day, like Lucas.
Speaker 2 (01:25:15):
You were still funny? And did they start to go
fund me? I didn't see that for you.
Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
No, I'm fine, I don't. I mean, it's not like
a situation. I just now can talk about it because
when I was telling people, They're like, oh my gosh.
I was like, yeah, it was very I got I
was walking by school because it was lit, but because.
Speaker 1 (01:25:30):
No it was you got knocked the fuck out?
Speaker 3 (01:25:33):
What happened the episode tell you that's yeah, jumping people's
some mess people. I got scammed like the old school way,
like they robbed me. But they said they had a gun.
So that's also why I didn't fire. You didn't see it, no,
but like they like if you see, like they fucked
me up a little bit there, like that's like still
healing from it. Wait, what did they hit you with?
(01:25:53):
They hit me in the back of the head. So
I was walking. I was walking towards the subway, headed west,
and they hit me in the back of the head
with like with the fist. Because I didn't go, I
didn't black out, like I just kind of fell down.
And so then I was like oh, and it was
two dudes and they're like, don't know, we got a gun.
I said, oh my god. And so then I still
have my phone. So they got my bag and so
they they were like, we need the phone. I said, man, no,
(01:26:15):
you got my bag. They said we need the phone.
I said I need the phone, and so once again
not I should have been trying to be funny, and
I was like, man, just give my phone, like no,
So they were like wrestling for the phone, and so
they got the phone.
Speaker 1 (01:26:26):
Here's the crazy part. I literally had all this song.
I'm like, why you were fighting.
Speaker 3 (01:26:32):
I'm not gonna say how much these rings are, but
like these these are like coffee diamonds.
Speaker 2 (01:26:35):
So like it's not I thought you got the stuff
from a jury. No, this is this is nice. This
is David Yearman and this is like and this is
like our custom jeweler. But like they didn't get into this,
our custom jewels.
Speaker 1 (01:26:47):
Me and my husband. Wait, is that Rose goes? Yeah?
I love get a custom jeweler.
Speaker 3 (01:26:53):
I love once again, this is why I can talk ship.
We'll talk shitet hit, but I didn't hit. Uh they
wait a second, I think Matt Rice sent them goons
to Rob.
Speaker 2 (01:27:07):
And you're gonna put that on mess and you know,
if they get us a cease and desist, we're coming
for you.
Speaker 1 (01:27:12):
Jay.
Speaker 2 (01:27:12):
Well, I'm not seating. I say, Hannah sent the goons.
I said Matt I say names every now and then.
Speaker 1 (01:27:19):
It's fun.
Speaker 2 (01:27:22):
You have.
Speaker 1 (01:27:24):
Where can people find you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:27:27):
On the socials, Jay Jurden on all socials. J A
Y j U R D E N. That's on Instagram,
that's on Facebook. Yeah, I'm still on there. I gotta
go to my twentieth class reunion. I'm on, I'm on,
I'm on X, I'm on Twitter. On Twitter, there's a
lot of porn people who follow me on Twitter. I
want to say this right now. Keep following me and
send your nasty ass friends too. I'm on blue Sky.
(01:27:51):
See you got your blue Sky. It's boring, but it's cute.
I'm on TikTok. What else?
Speaker 1 (01:27:56):
I'm okay, I'm on Truvada and what else? What's oh?
I was like, what's that? We need to get on
your bad sound? That sounds like let's get on all
these gay men.
Speaker 3 (01:28:12):
Yeah, these gay men, they don't prep and that's hibbaba.
Speaker 1 (01:28:16):
Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
Thank y'all, and Sydney, thank you because sometimes I do
need to be checked. So thank you for being a
good friend and checking me when I need to be checked. Marie,
thank you for being the devil on my shoulder. Be like,
keep going, that's what I need. I like that more
than like someone who goes, well, I'm not gonna talk
to Jay.
Speaker 1 (01:28:33):
Thank you for doing that. That's unnecessary, but that's not
like but that's like that to me.
Speaker 3 (01:28:38):
That's a way more productive conversation than people being like, oh,
we know James a hater, because every now that Jay's
right but also a hater.
Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
Okay, you're hey, every hater is right at least twice.
You gotta be listen so you know I had a
good time. We all keep your head up, the right hater.
That's the title episode.
Speaker 3 (01:28:57):
Head up, Marie, don't want me to get jumped again.
Don't jump please, don't get please, don't jump me again. Yeah,
I don't know. I don't know who's in the good
I mean, y'all know the real mess about someone who's
singing goons?
Speaker 1 (01:29:08):
We yea okay, okay, okay, y'all be thinking of I
will not talk about it.
Speaker 3 (01:29:20):
Why the bestial on Hulu, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (01:29:24):
Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast, created
and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced
by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos,
edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.
Speaker 1 (01:29:41):
If you would like your messages read on air, please
email us at mess The podcast at gmail dot com
or call for your messages to be played at seven
six three two eight zero six five eight eight
Oooh, you're listening to mess Okay, we made it. We
I'm so excited at my energy. It's back. You've got
some rest. I did not. Oh it's not I.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
When I start a show, I could really binge it
if I could.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
If I could, if it's really good, I could finish
it in one sitting, which is disgusting.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I think we should bring back episodes coming out one
week at a time.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
But you know what I don't. I don't like watching
it with everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I would like, actually wait because if everybody's hyping up
at the same time, I don't want to get involved
with that. I want to do it on my time,
you know. But it just so happened that I got
caught up in the hype because everybody's been talking about
it on tiktook. We'll talk about tell the people what
you're talking about, because we don't know what you're talking about.
It's a show called It's All Her Fault, And I said, damn, women, damn.
(00:53):
But also that's how I look at it. It is
all her fault. Oh, whoever her is, it's her fault.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Oh. I usually say her.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Is my mom, but whatever it is her fault. Yes,
it's it's and we're starting at the source and it's
my mom. But yeah, it's with Sarah Snook from Severance.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
She's in it.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
And then what's the other one, succession one of them
about white people doing you know, white collar embezzlement and
whatnot in really thousand dollars suits and whatnot. But yeah, her,
then then Lawrence from Insecure j Ellish, Yeah, not as mine,
(01:32):
no more. Yeah, I love when our people out here working.
And then remember the guy who was in Crash, the
guy who was like the invisible cloak.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Remember the dude was like fix the.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Lock was telling the guy the door guy or the
lock guy, the lock guy, Oh, yes, okay, he's in it. Yes,
And it was so crazy because I was looking at
him and I was like, I'm just waiting for him
to be like.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You need a new door.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
No, no, no, the invisible invisible cloak where I cry
it's here. Remember Crash, I really everybody said how corny
it was, but.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Like I like, I loved it was amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Mister Reese Witherspoon was in that what's his name justin
Timberlake's dupe.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
That's that's what we're talking about, the same guy.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yes, Ryan, Yes, just related dupe, Yes exactly.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
So I watched the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I went to bed at like two something, and I
got back up at sets crazy. We made a pack
that we were gonna go to bed at midnight last night,
and I text you at twelve oh.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
One, Hey girl, go to bed and you said the
bed feels good. It say good that queen. Yeah, but
I watch it. It's phenomenal.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
I will get into it again, maybe on a solo episode,
but yeah, I recommend everybody watching.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It's on Peacock. Wooh, you know that was my mess.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
My mess is, yo, people are really shutting down their apps.
They're not paying no more. They said no Netflix, no,
no Hulu, no Peacock. I have to run through a
couple of people to get to the peacock.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
So you got the peacock. I got it. Yeah. I
text her friend.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
In a thirty year shut out to Larry Larry Owens,
thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Wow shout out shout out to him. I love it.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, So that was my mess. I need to pay
for one of the maps one one. Yeah, I mean
I told you this morning. I have the Disney Hulu package,
but it's with ads.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
So that's fine. Yeah, the way the world is going,
you need a little break.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Run to the bathroom. Your little cheese will run off
through something, peese will and check your emails. Yes that
I do need a break. That you do ignore you
do it, and I know you home and I know.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
You can see it. First of all, it doesn't matter
if I'm home or not. I don't want to respond
to that email. Look at that.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
This email did not find me, well, it found me unwell, Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, Marie. What's your mess week? My messed this week?
The US government? Uh raggedy.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
You've been around since seventeen seventy six, right, you still
haven't figured it out. So I was in Chicago this
weekend and I had a bunch of flights because I
flew from Nashville to Chicago, then Chicago back to New York.
All my flights were seven six am flights, which I
was like, I don't that's not ideal, but I do
need to get out of this state right sooner rather
(04:26):
than later. So I missed my seven am flight home
on Sunday morning. You sure did, which was mad because
you tell them what you did. Well, I was at
you know, Dwayne Perkins' birthday party. Huh, you got there late.
You didn't stay there that long? Well, I stayed till
the end. When it ended, I left. What time did
you get there? First of all, I came from a show,
(04:47):
don't it seemed like out of that at the hole,
just watching friends or whatever. No, I I had a show.
I got to Dwayne's at I don't know, eleven thirty.
I was there till about twelve. Something, got some rhyme,
in went back to the hotel. I went to bed
at three am, set my alarm five am, and then
at back up five thirty. You know when you're getting
(05:10):
a lot of rest, You know, when you're sleeping and
you're like, I feel like I'm sleeping too much. They
need to stop the snooze. Snooze, eliminate the snooze.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
The alarm never went off. Oh, it's my phone.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It doesn't My alarm doesn't go off on Sundays because
that's the biggest opst The biggest op is your phone.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Bitch. I looked out. I rolled over. I looked at
the clock.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
I said, seven oh one, seven oh one, that's what
time they were boarding my flock.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You know, I hadn't packed. So I'm oh, my god, friend.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Thrown it in the bag, right, I get I get downstairs,
I get in my uber. The driver's like, what time
is your flight? I was like, right now? Who was
leaving at seven forty five? I get to the airport
eight am, right, miss. I'm like, well, apparently I had
booked the first class ticket because you know, I care
about me, So they rebooked me on another first class
(05:59):
flight and I was like, oh, that means I get
to go to the lounge.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
I was like Delta one.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I go to the lounge. The lady the guy's like,
you know you have Delta one. I said yes. He
said that's for long haul international flights. I was like oh.
He said, are you going to I see Luardia? Are
you connecting to London or something? After I was like
mm I am and he was like I don't see.
I said, well, I just missed my flight. Maybe they
(06:26):
haven't rebooked me for that portion yet. He was like, okay,
I see you're going to London on the twenty fifth.
Now in your business okay, sir, you know my Hawaii tenerary.
Now say you don't see the tonight flight. He's like, no,
he said, but you know what, I'll tell you what.
You can be my guest in the lounge today.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Look at that.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Let me tell you something in my heart, I said,
I missed the flight. I'm not missing the lounge.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
NA missing the lounge. So I was like, oh my god,
oh thank you so much. Like he gives me a card.
He's like, you know, a message of my super far
So let her know how all I did today. I
was like, I will, and I.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Will shout out to do you have not but yet,
but shout out to Darren. So I had been rebooked
on a twelve thirty flight. That flight delayed, then canceled,
right then a two thirty canceled.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Then they were like all the flights out canceled.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
So I'm talking to I'm talking to you, I'm talking
to my mom, I'm talking to my sister. We're all
trying to like figure out how I'm getting back and
if I live in Chicago now, and we're like maybe
United all the United flights booked.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
My manager's like Spirit Airlines has a flight.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I said, girl, you know I don't want to, but
let me see if we can get it. That that
went away because everybody was trying to get to New York.
All the JFK flights, all the LaGuardia of everything was booked. Finally,
the lady at Delta goes, the earliest flight we can
get you on is eight twenty five tomorrow PM. No,
I've been here since eight o'clock in the morning. You
(07:55):
told me I can't leave till eight o'clock tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Now, No, ma'am girl. And that happened to us when
we were in Paris.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Yes, but I was like, am I going to be
reimbursed for this? And they said, oh, Delta doesn't reimburse
unless it's a Delta issue of our plane or our pilot.
This is the government, so you will not be reimbursed.
They said, they ain't got nothing to do with me.
I'm like, are you guys gonna put me in a hotel.
They're like, no hotel either. No, they got a lot
(08:22):
of nerve Delta and you platinum status almost I will
be at the end of the year, Okay.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I said that to the lady.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
I'm basically platinum anyway. I was on stand by for
a five fifty flight. She after I screamed, I'm almost platinum.
She called Delta and she was like, we got you
no longer stand by. You're on that flight.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Each that flight boarded at eight.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Something and then we sat for an hour and a
half on the plane, not moving, and then they finally
took off.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
The flight is two hours.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
I'm at the airport for twelve I'm sitting on the
tar back for another two hours.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
And then they had the nerve to have turbulence. So
I the government is messed. Delta is mess, the clouds
is mess. No, no, no, Marie, let's start with the
who started the mess. You you missed the flight, and
you were supposed to take the seven am flight so
you could get to New York early because we had
a concert for Kate Trenada, because I got your tickets
for your birthday. You sing all that miss miss, but
(09:31):
you're right, you are one hundred percent right. Seven thirty
flight and the nine thirty flight are the only flights
that left on time? Yeah, yeah, the only flights. And
then everything else just two, three, four, five ten hours delays.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Crazy, Marie, wo crazy.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
And people on Instagram are like, you could stay with me,
I can drive you take a train. I was like,
the train is gonna call. It's gonna take me a
whole day. I'd rather wait. Also, to be fair, I
was in the lounge of the entire time. You were
a li and just fine. I had nine plates of food.
I was drinking for free.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
They have showershowers.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
I didn't take a shower, but they have them. But yeah,
and everybody in the in the lounge was like stressed
and tired and over it.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
But imagine I was in the regular airport for those
twelve hours. I couldn't imagine. That's the hell. Yeah, shout
out to Darren. I will be messaging your supervisor. We
love Darren. You're at mess Okay, Jay Jay Jurten is
in the building.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yay, so exciting. Thanks y'all for having me here. Yesterday too,
I flew Monday. I want to say, yeah, I flew
Monday from Portland and it was fine.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Was your flight?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
My flight was at seven yea, yeah, and you made it.
I did make my flight. I was, I was. I
was lucky that I made my flight. I had and
I had an early flight to Seattle like two days before,
and it was like miss acting was like not the
early flights that's before ten. I think you're fine. After ten,
(11:04):
you might be fucked because these flights have been saying
the N word, And by saying the N word, I
mean these flights are canceled, these flights have been in
these flights.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I was like, oh, no, no.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Frontier, I said, no, it sounds American.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
American air.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Yeah, they say all the words American, all the words
on spirit they said, but you know they can't say
it because.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
That's g A yeah, g.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
A h exclamation points yeah spirit. They said, when you
will see nigga I And then I had to do.
I had to go from Kansas City to Tulsa and
we had a connection in Dallas, and I had to
I had to fly southwest, which I haven't done in
(11:53):
a while. That was I was an airport for four hours.
They were like doing the whole gate. They were like,
we charged the gates, we charged the gate, they changed
gates four times. I'm fine, I'm able bodies, I can move.
These older people, they was getting mad. Some of them
had to be like pushed to the different gates and
some of them they could have walked, but they still
wanted to be pushed because like that's a that's a
choice on your part sometimes when you're older in the airport,
(12:15):
you go, I could use help, but I think I
can make it. These folks they walking to the gate
agent mad. They said, is this the final gate? And
the gay agent say, I ain't even gonna hold you.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I just changed. Yeah. They walked up and don't you pay?
You have to pay to get someone to assist you.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Yeah, I think you can request it, but I think
if you have medical documentation, you don't have to pay.
But I think sometimes, but then I don't trust it
because sometimes in Atlanta, the folks who be riding on
them carts, they be young, they just be driver.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
If they think they're you're cute, they'll just be like,
you know what the back I'll be hopping on those.
Why is that you be hopping on those?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
JFK was like yeah, he said, what okay, okay in
Atlanta stressed, okay, sweating bags.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
I'm not gonna try to New York, but in Atlanta
with all them, I'm trying. I'm hopping on the back
of one of them.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I'm be like, yeah, girl, wheelie for you, ja girl.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
But yeah, airports, I mean they are held right now.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
In regard to Delta one, I was just in Delta
one JFK and l A X Jeff JFFK like it's
it's that's a fun delf to one lounge, it's cute.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
The l A X one immaculate. Oh go to that one.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
They have caviar there, they have caviar theres you can
get massages there.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
They have given that.
Speaker 3 (13:40):
I mean the steak free is amazing, is amazing usual
in the Delta one lounge, which is not relatable at all.
But the also the government shutdown hurt me because now
you don't even get private TSA for Delta one. You
gotta go through regularly and you pay for Deulta one
is go through private TSA. Yes, fact, you go through.
And they said we don't got it because the government shut down.
(14:02):
I said, you can't check me right now. I said,
you see, you can't look at this, you can't pay
me down screaming sky priority.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
They were like that don't really mean anything, said everybody's
priority right now. But you know, I mean, I hope
people get paid.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
It sucks that like the Democrats cave because now that
means that might fucking people's health care.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
But I don't, I don't, I can't fix it. So
is the shutdown over or the shutdown.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
The shutdown is about to be I was like, moving forward.
They're trying to fix it by Thanksgiving, because if this
happens a Thanksgiving, I guarantee someone's gonna get hurt. Someone's
gonna get hurt if everything shut down. Come Turkey time,
Turkey Lurkey season.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
First of all, people by their turkeys, and now you
can't get to the family that ain't got no turkey.
Think the shutdown should happen because I like this. Everybody
be running to their family for what?
Speaker 1 (14:52):
For what? The first of all, we all.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Know that everybody's family is fucked up.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
That's just my dad's sid. I'm just saying, who were
talking about? Okay, listen, a lot of times we're going home.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Listen, you going there, you ain't got nobody and they're like,
oh so you're still not married another year older, or
you're coming with somebody and you're like, you know, we
don't like that girl.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
This is are you bringing this today? The specifics in
this are really we don't like that girl.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Family are this is like when Sinney said it's all
her fault and I was like, well, if it's a
lesbian relationship, it.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Might be her. They fall, but it's her fault. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
But I think because of the government shutdown and everything
that went on this that transparent this year, we should
not be subscribing to things like Thanksgiving and Christmas saying.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
One step forward, colonize your holidays.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
You're celebrating the white men coming and talking to the
Native Americans and tricking them.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Come on, let me go and buckles the hand. You're
doing the turkey with the hand.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, that hand should be a hand. That should be
a Black power fist. You can't make a turkey from that.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
All my turkeys. Look, Jay, what's up?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Because I have the Hulu with ads now, I did
watch your new.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Special Thank you yes man, Yes ma'am, Yes ma'am, Yes ma'am.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
And you only say yes ma'am. I think one time
I said it one time.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, I said to my mama, an important part of
the specials. Thank you for watching with ass. We love ass. Listen, listen,
get Hulu with ads. If you want to get Disney,
read download Disney plus. Jimmy Kimmel is back on the air,
Stop and John protesting and Disney Walt Disney was a Nazi.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Okay, so it's Kanye wh wow, please please. But Walk
was a Disney Nazi the whole time. The whole time,
Snow White White.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Jay, you were making it work for You were like, listen,
we need a Disney Hulu plug.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah. I said, that's come on, let's do something with it.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
The fun part about recording the special in New Orleans
was that the crowds were crazy fun, Like there's a
woman you can hear in the beginning of the special
her this was her laugh like Okay, we're gonna we
tore her down a little bit in the head. I said,
let's let's tweet and move the boom mic con her.
But they were fun, they were wild. I went to
a gay bar literally afterwards, and there was like an
(17:25):
underwear party in the back. You know, I can't say
if I went or not, but I was. You know
when you go to a game man, and now you
say you can't say if you win. I can't say
if I went in the back or not, but I
say I never went to the gay club, because you
go to a gay club, it's kind of pack. You go,
all what's up? When it's really pack, you go, what's
the event? You go, what's the event? And they go oh,
it's a underwear party back there, I went, Oh, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
So you so you put everything in the locker. Locker, Marie,
this is New Orleans.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You put everything in a trash bag, and the trash
look like Katrina Victims.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
We had clothing you back there like this. You don't
hold your bad You can get your ticket.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
And someone who you don't know, who you met that night,
who is not trustworthy, is watching your bag.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Okay and wait and so after your special you went
there and it's the underwear party?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Did they lift you up by your jockstrap? And like
tru truly this is how this is how little gay
people care.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
They went you ever what anyway?
Speaker 1 (18:18):
You said you special? Special? You know I got a
special on toob right now? They got a special only
fan special discount rate. Yeah. By the way, every.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
Everyone can't be on only y'all, we've reached critical mass?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
Is that your mess? Is that? No, that's a little
bit of my mess.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
Everybody can't everybody someone's gotta pay for it, are you?
Are we all just passing the same twenty dollars a
round if everybody's on there?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
So you're saying everybody can't be on OnlyFans, not everybody.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I think we're within six months of being like, okay,
closed door.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
We don't we got enough everyone. We're everybody only fans.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Everyone they here, everyone here, everyone here knows somebody only
everybody in this room knows at least five people are
only fans.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Like personally, yeah, yeah, no, I know, maybe like.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Maybe game you know what gay men might be very specific.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
It's your community. It's not you know what, that's us.
That's on us, that's on us.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
But they everybody on there, everybody, and sometimes you see
the pictures, you go, can I give you some notes?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
No, if you know money, but I'm gonna give you
some notes. Yeah, I think you know, maybe you know
clean up in the back. It was this, this is
a song, get this out of here.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
So every now and then I think that people need
to I think we could do less public sex work
because we do need there to be mystery, We need
some allure.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Not being said, I feel like if we started it
only okay, people would be like, well, I got to
see what they talking about black beaches, Let's see why
what makes them feel so good about themselves? And my
only fans with I would fully be wearing a turtle
neck because it's like you got to the next if no, no, no,
I'm gonna flash. No, I'm gonna have a thick turtlenet
(20:14):
going and turtle and then nipple nipple covers no.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Or do the kim k You could be like, oh
you thought you saw my nipples even.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
My nipples bra okay, got.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Off the bra. Wait, let me write that down. You
had the Kuchie before she had the Kuchie panties.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
You don't know about the hair, with the hair, the
pew with with the you know, with all different types
of textures.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
You can go stop it. She did not. You can go.
You can go Michael Jackson all the way, Michael Jackson.
When it comes to the puba, she had the one
and then the four sea.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah, Kim, you gotta get and the force you the
capitalism has gone out of country.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
It's crazy girl.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
But the forese is also the foresea is on the
brown panties and the blonde panties. So you could you
can have like a kinky Rachel. You can have an
albinism situation where how does.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
She know this?
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Who is doing the work to find out what different
pubeses on different bodies.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
I've done some research, You've done some research. No research
can be honest. The people I've been with.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
If there's one Gucci expert on this podcast, one Ucci
expert on every podcast.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
You got a.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Cookie ex brow you anybody in here? Hey, I'm a
partaker of the Kuchie. She is a coucie connoisseur, not
a coochie connoisseur. Y'all think I've been in but.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
You see them, I know, but sometimes it's against my will.
I didn't want to see those. You can drive by flashy.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Know you when you This is the thing about being
with older women who.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Wait, wait, yes, okay.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Yes, First of all, I grew up with very modest elders,
but then when I got with people who are, like,
you know, not as old as sixty five, like around
my mom and and then her people, I mean, coochies
is out, bushes is out, people have that. I don't
know if she would wear the panties that just like
the elastic is loose, a rip is on the side.
(22:29):
And sometimes she's just like, hey, I want to sit
sit on my couch without nothing on. She said, this
is my couch and it was a leather couch come
from get.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
On a leather couch.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Yeah, but in the summertime or the winter time, you asking,
you're really good at journalism.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Thank you? You know.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You know who's getting horny listening to this? JD Vans.
He said, wait a second, cow a couch. I'm about
to the couch.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
But then I got older and I was in the pandemic,
and there was a couple of times I said, on
the couch with no panties on.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Okay, you're wearing a robe that's open, is it? Bear?
Just bearkay on it. After I took a.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Shower, I'll do what I open, I'll do a robe
open on the couch, on the couch ready, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never just said we digging a new couch and
the husband says, I cannot be naked on this couch,
which I understand.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
What color is a couch.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
It's like a swayed Yeah that's not a good Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah. It catches everything. It catches oistures and oil pair
we yeah, swayed and anyone who has done I forgot
about the balls and they hang. So it's like basically after.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
The shower, the after a shower, balls.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
On today, like on the day like today.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
This is how when I was walking here, they're here
when I was talking a shower like, Man.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
I could never do this act out because I don't
know balls like what they're doing Sidney expert and you
don't know nothing nothing.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Listen, I dabbled in ball. I know you know both.
I don't I know nothing. Not listen. If Sidney is
a virgin now we're rebranding Sidney is a version I
have not Listen, I'm not a virgin.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I just want people to know that, like, I am
not the end all be all of what it like
the couchie is lesbian.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
I'm not an expert. You're not calling you an expert.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well, I did said a degree.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
This room is an expert. It's you.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Yeah, I'm in coucci. I'm I get to go back
to couchie every now and then. The last time you
went to some couchie, I don't want to. I can't
blow nobody spot up.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
But it wasn't. It wasn't in New Orleans. It wasn't
in New Orleans, but it was.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
This month was again, Man, are talking about cochi time rough?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Hey hey off? That benefits of gone I gotta eat something.
He said, you gotta eat something that benefits is gone.
I gotta eat something that's mess.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Congressman, Jay, I need to stop being funny because we
(25:37):
brought you in here for mess.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Okay, mess, and I know that has been messing.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
No, no, no, but I know you have your own
personal but I'm actually here to talk to you about
your mess.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Well, y'all, y'all kind of teased it and staid that
I'm messy. So what mess do y'all think I'm gonna bring?
And I can tell you if its aligned?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Jay, you know you know your mess? What do you know?
Your man threads?
Speaker 2 (25:59):
You'll be on on tow and then I'm promoting my special.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
So every now and then you gotta hook them on
a little mess. You gotta say I'm really good, but
you know who's not. I'm ready to stand up.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
And I love that about you well because and it
does tidy y'all.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Whenever you let's say, you make an article and you go,
oh my gosh, it's comedy hot again, and you don't
include these two. You when you write an article specifically
hot sexy comedy has gotten and you don't include these
two innovators of hot girl, hot comic, hot black, hot queer,
hot sexy comedy.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
I get to be mad because I go, yeah, you
don't gotta put me on there. That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
You don't put me on it. You have to put
them on there, you Sidney Marial. The reason people were like,
I got drsed up with this show, Well, I want to.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Say people have take showers and look like they do
on stage.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Yeah, I don't want to say it, but we bathing
back top tops and cute heels. When I started doing comedy,
they were like, you can't wear shorts, you can't show
your legs.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
You you can't wear wear, you can't wear anything cute.
I can't show way. So that's like one level of
the message.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
I do like to call out when people don't, you know,
pay homage to pioneers.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
But then another thing is that you know right now
it's lam motherfuckers.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Who don't be that funny, but they be super famous.
And then it kind of just shifts everyone's opinion of
what comedy is. So then they see y'all, they see me,
they go, oh, I was laughing the whole time. I
ain't never done that in a comedy show I go
where you been, well, who you've been going to see?
Speaker 1 (27:33):
And I used to you?
Speaker 3 (27:35):
I usually I usually tell them, I usually say what
I do for a living, and then they kind of
rip off that.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I go, baby, I'm gonna talk. You gotta wear I'm talking. Yeah,
I got stuff saying, But Jay.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
Don't you think that?
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Like I get it, like pointing out, Oh, you know
there's people who are doing things that are not so
traditional or even things that you might not even consider funny.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Well, why not just be funny?
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Like?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
Why do I have to point out the people who
I don't funny?
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I think that like I get to be funny, but
then I also kind of have to hold people to
task because if you don't, everything shifts and then you
have your team telling you all, should you do this
that this person is doing? So then you have to
be like, Okay, I'm gonna make a very explicit call
to action basically where like you're never gonna have to
(28:21):
be like, oh, where does Jay stand on this? So
if I if y'all were to be like, oh, Ja,
would you ever do a crowd work Christmas special?
Speaker 1 (28:26):
No, I would not a crowd word Christmas?
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Isn't that crazy then that though, But that's what I'm saying,
Like it's a corniash shit out there, and every now
and then it does reach a point where I do
like to call out, like, let's okay, like, uh, okay, what.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Are you saying?
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Specific No, when it comes okay, when it comes to
like a Tim Dillon right now, Tim Dillon, he's super popular,
but guess what, you don't get to say you're against
the American political machine.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
And then also text jd Vance that's cool he texting
jd Yes, texting him. That's what I'm saying, exact.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Exactly, but that's what I'm saying, Like, you don't get
to be like, oh, tear all this ship down and
then be like, what's up, Ivanka?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
You don't get to do that. She got text yes, yes,
what do you think she's doing? Morris code? Yeah, you know,
I don't.
Speaker 3 (29:21):
She she like she don't really talk. And also, and
I like, I like being a little chippy. I like
having people go I don't know, I got hey, I
gotta I gotta be careful around Jay because Jay, if
he sees some ship, he might call out.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
I kind of like that. I like that because in
the people I love. It's all love.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
But if you ever go, oh, I'm a little bit worried, good,
be a little word around me, because if not, then
where do we end up? We end up in a
place where everybody fake, everybody lies, and then like those lies,
sometimes it's like all that person's other person's not the
funniest but like innocent. The other part of it is, now,
some people are are so actively racist and homophobic and
(30:02):
transphobic and evil that people pretend to be friends with them.
So like, if I make fun of Joe and Tony,
it's because motherfucker's from that club. Be Like I love
saying the N word in green rooms because it lets
other white comics know we end on this together. I
don't want to be friends with you if you're a
comic who goes on Bobby Lee's podcast and says, oh,
you know every now and then, I like to say
nigga in the green room because it lets other white
comics know that we in this together. I don't want
(30:23):
to be friends with you, said Ari from Fucking Mothership. Yeah,
and guess what if it's a joke, work on that joke.
But if it's the truth, you making Cam look stupid.
Because he came up with you. You making every black
comic who works a room if you look crazy.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
No they don't. I disagree, but you do know.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
You But if you but if you arms around these
motherfuckers and photos nigga on podcasts and say that ship.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Work is work, listen every time.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
But that's the thing, that's that.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
But I'm saying that that's a lot. To me, that's
a lie. And I can like be like, no, I'm not.
I can't being a photo for you telling people you
say nigger, I'm good on that that I've just said.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
When we start talking about morals and integrity and comedy,
it's it's a very fine line, like I wouldn't work here,
but this place is it is ran by Zionists, So like,
what what is it?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
What we're gonna talk about? Are we doing?
Speaker 3 (31:17):
I think that conversation is way more nuanced than like
if you're going around Bragg and saying you want to
say slurs.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I think that's a different conversation. Do you disagree? I
think it's not the same. Yeah, it's a similar basket.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
I just I don't ever want you to think that
I'm okay with you talking crazy about people who I
love or people who are a group of people.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
That I'm in.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
So that then I'm like, oh, yeah, we boys, It's
just it's just jokes and shit.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
I'm okay with that that call out, but just the
stuff about who's funny who's not, because you're still platforming
those people. No.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
Sometimes but like if someone's really someone you have.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Big platforms, Yeah, I agree, Jay, drag them if you But.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Then sometimes okay, like perfect example, if if someone says, oh, well, Jay,
like you don't like that person, are you actually are
you actually like jealous of them I have, that's when
I have to be like, well, look at my resume.
Look at their resume. They got a bunch of stuff
I don't want. I have a bunch of stuff that
he's still trying to get. So it is. It's true,
though don't have more than me. It's probably followers of money.
(32:21):
But if you look at respect, because the respect of
my peers and the respect of my fans and the
people who follow me and my patrons, that's super important.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
That's nice. But I'll take a little more money.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
Money, but money also money, more money, I mean money
also is like there's a certain amount of money where
I go, Okay, you're making good money, but people kind
of looking at you.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Thirty million dollars from live NI for what? But for what?
You do a tour? Where do a crowd work special?
To a crowd work special? Million dollars? Nah, j you're not.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Christmas thirty million dollars.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
For doing it? Now, I'm a liar, Okay.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
People are tell me about yeah, yeah, we never met.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
I never met.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
What way to be redundant? Thirty million? How long you
don't got to repeat the number you gon't do?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
How long you're gonna do it? How many cities I
don't want to hear it. How many cities you know?
How is it you go to for yours?
Speaker 3 (33:23):
I mean I worked on that tour for about two years,
like thirty dates a year for the past two years.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
So like, like thirty cities is fun. That's a lot. Yeah,
thirty cities, but CrowdWork for thirty I don't want to
thirty million dollars. That would be so painful. Million dollars.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
My ego is so big. I want to talk for
the hour. I hate talking to people and they're not fun. Okay,
So it doesn't have to be a crowd work Okay,
it has It doesn't need to be thirty cities for
thirty million to do a Christmas You're doing it, Jay,
You're Twitter.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
I got like a polo joint.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
You're unserious. I'm not a couple of polos, but is
aware is Ralph?
Speaker 3 (34:05):
If Ralph Lauren is sponsoring and I get a polo
brand campaign.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
You get thirty million dollars. No, you got a Sweetens
You making better sweeter than thirty million dollars.
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Okay, so do I okay, let's look at Okay, let
me see if I can really justify.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
Let me Sydney, Sydney thirty million dollars, Christmas crowd working,
yes with I wouldn't even think twice about it before
you would even say Christmas.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yes whatever you said.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
Thirty million, yes, thirty million, thirty million, but no.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
One but benefit provide you. Jay, You're that The whole
thing is, You'll be like all duty. I'm a elitist
about comedy.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yes, we and that's where I'm gonna I want to
stop everybody.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
We are not curing cancer. We are not doctors, we
are not lawyers. But we are artists. We are entertainers.
Why are what is this?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
What is if that if they have a lane and
people are flocking to them, let them do their thing.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
But I think people I'm focused on, But I think
we should be able to make fun of dog ship.
You should should you should like you should be able
to be like man, you got your own lane.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
But if you ever come over here, I'll be like,
don't come over here.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Of course, and those people will not be in my circles.
But all I want to do is the people that
I know I don't even want to talk about, the
people who I don't really care about. Like Beyonce is
not mentioning people who she don't.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Want, No, but tell me who Okay, So Beyonce is
us in this situation? Who are I don't want to
were about? You about to say? What name? Were you
about to say? I'm not saying no names, no, but like, okay,
I'll say this.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
If Beyonce wanted to make fun of Kashan Rock, you
can make fun of Krishan Rock, you, beyon.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
But that's not clashing down. That's collection.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
The right way, uh, the right way to do it
is somebody uh.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Lower like a mid tier Harry Hilson.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Wait, whoa whoa?
Speaker 3 (36:02):
Okay, right, he already made fun of Beyonce. She got
in trouble and you see what happened. But if but
that's okay, But I'm not carry Hilson in this situation.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Who's Who's Scissa?
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Okay, okay, okay, let's call you Sis. Okay, I'm Sissa,
but Scissor work will Beyonce.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Right, but that's not the friends. Let's say you Scissor.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
Okay, So somebody we have to think about somebody who's
more successful than or more famous than Scissa but less talent.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Morgan Wiland and jelly Roll. Okay, okay, are they more
They don't even know who those people are. They're more famous,
and Morgan Wild and jelly Roll are more famous country
artists and then a chef, jelly Roll a chef. But
he is the country artist? Is he a reality TV action?
He's also a rapper. They look like he looked like
jelly lit his song jelly Roll.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
Yeah, I mean he got he got a jelly Roll
been making money.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
People love jelly Roll if you've never seen it.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
But if you've never seen jelly Roll, you know the
people who operate the fairest wheel ah like Carnees. Yeah,
he's a carney. He's got a carney. Look, he looks
very carne. You have Okay, you have been in the dollars?
You ever been in You ever been in the Dollar General? Yes, okay,
that's a jelly roll. Whoever you see when you walk in.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
I'm looking right now. Somebody with a big bat. You
ever seen a family dollar? Okay? Oh well he got
face tattoos. Let me see. Oh they got a lot
of nerve.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
But you want to say what I'm saying, So I
feel like you're talking about people.
Speaker 3 (37:32):
Who have I'm talking about taste versus like popularity, I guess.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
And but you have to remember the time that we
living in. People love famous people, and people want to
be famous for the sake of being famous, and you
don't really have to have any skills job.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
But when I see people taking up space and not
necessarily earning it, it's not even an earn thing. It's
that they don't respect their fans, they don't respect the
kind of like art form that they're in, and they
don't necessarily even respect their peers who are more skilled
than them but not necessarily as marketable because they did
(38:08):
not have whatever people wanted to latch onto at the moment,
I do feel okay calling them out. I do I
feel okay saying hey, this isn't is so fucked up,
and you know what, I know it's fucked up. This
person is super popular and produces nothing but dog shit,
and this person is a genius and they're having their struggle.
I think that as a person who's kind of in
(38:29):
the middle of all that shit, I feel like I
do well enough, but I'm also very skilled. Like I
think that you, I think I'll get to be like, hey,
once you look at this person and then people are, oh,
that person's not popular.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Yeah, but that person's popular and they suck once you
make it.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
First of all, you got to remember this, right In
a post pandemic world, I feel like stand up comedy
is going through a renaissance, and the renaissance is very
much everybody wants to be a comedian and a lot
of these say that a lot of these influences, a
lot of these influencers, their agents and managers are like,
you got a lot of followers.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
People don't know that. People don't know this. People actually
don't know that this happens. So what happens is that
people like get popular from whatever, they get whatever, a
viral video, yeah, whatever, and so then they keep doing
the video and then people like sign them. So then
they get like a manager and an agent. They get
a team, and that team says, hey, you should go
on tour. What makes me upset about those tours is
they are scamming those people because people pay money to
(39:23):
see them.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
They go out, they pay money to see them, and what.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
They're paying scam. Government is a scam.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Scam. Everybody's getting scammed left and right.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
But y'all, don't scam people. I don't scam people are peers,
and we like, don't scam people. I mean, you know,
not on stage. Don't be scamming people.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Stage before surprise that have never seen that was so funny.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
And they go and I'm coming back with these other
people they never said they're coming back.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
They go, well, that's what the experience, that's what one
of the I was at some comedy club. The owner
said the same thing. He was like, these influencers show
up and the crowds are full and they sell out
the shows and they do like their one viral video,
and after that it gets.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Really sometimes they go I want to feel They say
you want to see an unreleased video.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
What they're playing the videos? They go pulls green. Now no, yeah,
that's realize. The crowds realize very quickly that the jokes
ain't there, or.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
That they go, oh, you know what you're gonna be Listen,
Marie is gonna be a live event.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
You're gonna stay a phone event.
Speaker 3 (40:32):
And I would be okay if that was happening, if
people went, I'm never gonna see you live.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
I'm gonna watch you on that phone though, I'm gonna
watch that phone.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
But that's what happens. These people pay all this money
to see their faves. The jokes don't land. You can say,
they don't say there, the jokes ain't there, or they go,
how much time I gotta do?
Speaker 3 (40:47):
Please do forty five? I can give you twenty, okay,
so bring that. I'm gonna bring five of my friends.
They go do time. So then these people mad because
they gotta watch people they don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Yep. To this, it's becomes a showcase. Now, these these
these fans never come back when they come.
Speaker 3 (40:59):
To But I will say, to Sydney's point, I understand
why I my mess might turn some people off.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
Someone asked me recently.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
They said, but Jay, what if a person is friends
with a person you talked about and now they can't
be friends with you. I said, well, you know what,
that's a loss. I gotta take that. I gotta take that.
Someone said, well, someone said one time they were like, wow,
J Man, you're really getting on my boy. I said,
why is he Why is he still your boy? If
I'm getting on him this hard and we're boys, Okay,
I'm still gonna be friends with you.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
But that's you know, if that's your boy, get if
he's trying to check you.
Speaker 3 (41:35):
Yeah, but then that's what's crazy.
Speaker 2 (41:38):
But Jay, what if it's like, Oh, I like Jay,
he's so funny, but every time I talk to him,
he's dragging somebody who's not funny.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
That's not a vibebe but you hear producers are laughing,
so it is kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
It is kind of a vibe.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
If you think every time every time I see J
he mad at somebody, that's not true.
Speaker 1 (41:58):
I'm joyful. We were just a Coushi. The root is Joy.
The room lit up, Yes, but my name is Joy.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
When I see I will I will say a personal
thing that I've seen on TikTok, Yes, you have been,
that's your thing.
Speaker 1 (42:13):
Like, it's not a call in, it's a call out.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Well, I think I think on TikTok, you want to hook,
you want to be like. But I think that's like,
I think that's maybe ten percent of my online ship.
The rest of it is me talking about combooks, me
talking about comedy, not in the bad way, like in
a good way.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
Me shining people out and be like, all these people
are so fun about.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
X Men, talking about x men, talking about animals, talk
about truly.
Speaker 3 (42:36):
I think that it is a smaller portion, but it
does get a bit more attention because people I like
the fact that some people do consider me just a
person go to and be like, oh, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (42:46):
What's kind of messy? Because that that has been lost.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
We have lost a little bit of like everybody's friends,
I my mess and this might I don't think everybody
needs to be friends.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
No, never, I agree everybody doesn't need to be friends.
But I don't think you need to be mean somebody
that you don't like.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
I've been, I have been.
Speaker 3 (43:02):
There have been two instances where I, if I look
back on it, I went, oh, okay, that was a
little that was a little hot. What you do that
was a little hot? Well, okay, so this is this
is what happened. So one time, so I told someone
that I was working on something and you know, and
then they were like, oh, and if it doesn't sell,
you can just cut it up and put on the internet.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
And I said, if it doesn't sell, I said, who
you're talking to? I said who? I said, who are
you talking to? It's sold, by the way. Okay.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
So then so then you know, I did say something
a little crazy about this person. And now, well you
could it's on theirs on threads, I've said, we don't
have that. You can you can guess who I said
this about if you want to, if they tell us
what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
And then they were the Bravo show. I think now
we know.
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Uh So that situation happened at It happened at a
party where they said that to me, and the reason
I had reaction They said that to me in front
like other comedians who are more famous in both of us,
and I was like, who the fuck you said this
to me? Look time out, don't ever.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
So that's why I was like, okay, I'm gonna have to.
I actually got to check you, and so that was
like why there was a caller. But looking back on
I don't think I had to, but I did, and
the word yes, yeah, but that is a crazy but
now y'all got it. That is a crazy thing to
say to me in front of Royal Junior and the
long glazer.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Right right, Yes, but I can. I'm Maria grat No, no, truly.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
But somebody who's not in the game, like the rest
of the people, they could have just been thinking like,
oh this this you just cut it up, you know
what I mean, like, because they're not thinking about it
in the same way as you think about comedy.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
And you're not wrong, but still a crazy thing to say. Yes, no, no,
truly truly, and like I did, I was like, what what.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
In the world and the time of social media, it
makes sense for someone like that to be like, well,
at least you have clips.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah yeah, and you know I'm always gonna have clips.
Speaker 3 (45:03):
I kind of think about clips and social media in
a way of like, all these are always just commercials
for you to come see me live. Because what people
don't know is that the way comics make money right now,
touring and like then if you get some sort of
deal through someone who is making something or like a
larger producing body or just like if you sell anything.
But like the first, like the first thing that's gonna
make you money right now is being on tour. Spot
(45:25):
pay is wonderful in the city, and if you pass
the right clubs, but like once you go tour, once
you once, you so good on weekends, once you hit
your bonuses.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Touring is everybody's touring musician, podcasters, stand up comedian.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Then in the summertime it's festivals. And this is.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
But my my goal, especially like right now, like you
can watch my special Hulu and you go see me,
and I'm doing a different hour than the Hulu right now,
like you can. I try to make my tour experiences.
I don't in regards to what we say with those clubs.
I want people to go, oh my god, I have
to see Jay again. Yes, oh my god, I have
to go back. Jay's amazing. That's my goal. That's what
(46:10):
I always do. That's also why I'm so like precious
about comedy, because like the minute you start turning people
away from comedy, you are fucking with my money a
little bit, just in a larger picture.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
If people start.
Speaker 3 (46:22):
To think stand up comedy is not good live, you
have fucked with me a little bit.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
That's not true that I see what your mind is doing.
But it's great it my fans. I think my fans
are gonna be my fans.
Speaker 3 (46:33):
But if people start going, I'll say them coming out
there funny, I have to go you're wrong, you're wrong,
and here's a list of people who are very funny
and very good live. I have to do that because
these people have poisoned the well.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
You're dating is trash.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
But everybody is still dating, no matter how many times
anybody there, everybody is not still dating. There are people
who there are plenty of people, specifically women and men,
who dating because they're like, I can't.
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Hand, I'm not doing the apps. I'm not. It's poop
in the pool. A lot of people I agree with
you a little tell you, and I just want to
be honest with a lot of those girls that are online.
They're lying. I'm not talking about that. I'm saying in general,
women are you're saying.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
You're saying that everybody who's who hates dating is still dating.
That's what you're saying it.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
But it's not.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Someone's like still dating but they've been celibate for a year.
That's they ain't really dating no more. That they kind
of give people.
Speaker 2 (47:29):
And I think if you're the penis expert and you're
the coochie expert, I think I'm the dating expert.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
People are in my d MS. People are in my
d MS every day.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Any city I go to, they're talking to me about
dating in that city every day. There everyone is happy
about it, and there are people who fully are like, listen,
I ain't been on a date in this many years.
Speaker 3 (47:49):
There's not There's some famous TikTok councilor that went, I'm
gonna go date sober for a year. I'm gonna be
celibate for a year, and like they aren't. They aren't
gay man, because impossible. But a lot of women, a
lot of non binary people, a lot of people who
like have had bad experiences with dating.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
I just don't want.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
I'm protective and precious with stand up comedy because I
love it so much and because it's changed my life.
And like I know, I'm like mean and harsh about it,
but I do. I do admit that I do it.
I love but I also never push back. Whenever y'all
whenever both y'all like, well, Jay, you're messy. Do you
ever go I'm not messy? I go, you right, Yeah,
I got you damn right.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
I go.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
I go pull the tweet up, I go repost it
if you want to screenshot it sends to somebody someone
one time they were like, oh well Jay, it's always
like straight white guys.
Speaker 1 (48:38):
They go, aren't you worried about? Aren't you worried about
your career? And I go, why are you whispering? Aren't
you worried about? Not Listen.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
I always make a very calculated point that if I
ever say something crazy about you, it's because I'm okay,
never working with you.
Speaker 1 (48:57):
That is my thing.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
So no, Matt Rife and Jay Jorden to truly, let
me tell you, that's his though.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
That's what he's doing. That's what he's doing. What he got,
that's why they keep throwing money. Yeah, and you know
what they are throwing them respect respectfully. We'll tell you
what there's.
Speaker 2 (49:16):
I know a lot of people who got a lot
of respect in comedy and they cannot pay their bills.
Speaker 1 (49:21):
I don't want to put nobody's name.
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Out there but a lot of respector just respect, like
a lot.
Speaker 2 (49:28):
They write jokes, they're funny, but like a lot of respect,
and they can't pay their bills, and they can't pay
their bills. Okay, all right, they can write a joke,
they get laughs on stage, they're booked at places, and
they can't pay their bills, and they they ain't gotta
like okay.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Sound like they need to start an only fans. What
can we can?
Speaker 3 (49:46):
We look at the expenditure. We gotta look at the
money going out. I mean, I'm also like, I'm a
very what's the best way to put this. I'm like,
because I'm thirty seven, I'm also at a place where
I just I truly don't want to have to be
around people I don't like for a long time. So like,
if I ever had to like sit sit around with
people who like I don't think are funny, who I
(50:07):
don't respect, who don't like gay people, who don't like
black people, who don't like trans people, I'm just gonna
be like, well, I'm getting up.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
I don't believe it.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
I just don't have that sort of like I need
y'all to like me energy anymore. I just don't have it,
and because like I kind of have, I'm spoiled. I'm
very spoiled. I mean that I'm very lucky. I'm very spoiled.
I have gotten everything I've wanted in comedy so far
while talking shit, and.
Speaker 1 (50:31):
You know what, that's why you're gonna keep talking shit.
Speaker 3 (50:33):
I've just not no one's ever been like, oh well no, Jay,
we can't we can't put we can't put you on
the podcast with Joe Nigga dit An ask m hm.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (50:42):
And if he wanted to, if he was like, we
gotta reach out so we could argue, I'll be like, Okay,
let's talk about let's talk about bears, let's talk about wrestling,
let's talk about kinesiology, let's talk about muscles, let's talk
about bodybuilding. We can talk about anything except for trans people.
And if we do that, now we're gonna fight, cause
like what hm hmm, what do I want from some
of these people besides access to Netflix, Hulu or uh.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
I guess Amazon or HBO. But that's what I was like,
if you say you got it all, you got everything
that you want.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
That yeah, but he didn't he got but say that
like that, But I think he's wanted in comedy. He's
gotten so far he's gotten. You've been on the Tonight
Show four times. You have the Hulu special. I got
that while Talking Ship, you got Talking Shit.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
I got that after at the beginning of the year.
People said, oh, I don't know you have enough followers
to get a special.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
And then you said, well, they don't post these commercials,
and then you have it.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
You have a Netflix. No, I don't have a Netflix.
You didn't do the ten minutes. No. And the crazy
part about Netflix is that I did a warm up.
Speaker 3 (51:43):
I did warm up for the Verified Standards.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
They asked me to do that. I said absolutely. Here's
here's the crazy part.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
So they asked me and I said, okay, I walk
in Rosebud, don't say Nimes, Jamarco, Robbie.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
They wouldn't say you going up. I said, I'm doing
warm up.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
They said why, I said, that's them I was.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
I was traveling when that happened, so I wouldn't have been.
I wasn't in town for that anyway. But they're like,
I know you're away, but Netflix has if you can
warm up, we can.
Speaker 3 (52:09):
Actually talk about the mess that is that. I'll say
it so sometime I'm not about to I'm not about
to burn the bridge. But this is writ large whenever
you ask black comedians who you think are very funny
to warm up a crowd, you go, oh.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
Yeah, I know this crowd likes me because I'm gonna crush.
Speaker 3 (52:31):
But y'all are using black people when you could have
put them on the lineup, but then they kind of go, oh, no,
we want you.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
It was the way that I took it was funny
enough to get the room hot, but not funny enough
to showcase me like you're showcasing the other.
Speaker 3 (52:49):
But also in regard to that particular when they tried
that failed experiment in part because it couldn't make anyone
pop off the way they wanted to, because they didn't
chop it up for the people individually.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
They were just they.
Speaker 3 (53:02):
Cutting two so you had to so it. They didn't
even get to go watch mine. They had to say, hey,
if you two people in, it's gonna get good.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (53:11):
So and that was like a thing that like looking
back on it silver lining for me because then I
just was like, oh, okay, okay, thank good.
Speaker 1 (53:18):
But like I got I got to Netflix fast.
Speaker 3 (53:20):
I got Netflix is a joke Fast, got to do JFL,
I got do Variety. I like did all three jfls
this year. I've no one's ever said, oh, Jay, we
can't put you on this thing because you talked shit.
Because guess what, I'm never talking shit about producers. I'm
never talking shit about execs. I'm talking about a comic
who I don't like. I'm talking about comic who says
(53:41):
something stupid I'm talking about I'm talking about a comic
who like, I don't think it's fit to like wash
my jockstrap.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
That's who I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
But what about the execs? What about the net what
about the networks? Those are the big businesses that are
actually the reasons why.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
But I guess like that can get on. But there's
a crazy part about it. I like this, I love
doing that. I love them, but.
Speaker 3 (54:08):
We love you talking shit. Yeah, I'm not talking about
Robbie and Netflix. I'm talking ship about people who I go,
I don't love this whatever it is you're doing. And
athletes get to talk to ship, artists get to talk ship.
The fact that people then comics can't talk shit, that
limits us, doesn't it.
Speaker 2 (54:26):
But comics do talk shit exactly about stuff and society.
Speaker 1 (54:31):
About each other.
Speaker 3 (54:32):
It's people that go to it's people that sit down
at the clubs that we are at.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
After they do that set and argue for hours.
Speaker 3 (54:38):
I mean, we've all seen people go, y'all, stop fighting
in front of all these people. We arguing, We argue,
we argue the minute I kind of go, I don't
think they're bitch funny.
Speaker 1 (54:46):
They go, oh, why would you say that? Listen?
Speaker 2 (54:51):
It was a comic that posted something on their Instagram
the other a couple of weeks ago that had everybody
at certain clubs mad.
Speaker 3 (54:57):
Yeah, so and that was a lie and I was
a lie, and that was a big old fat lie.
Speaker 1 (55:03):
Am I line?
Speaker 3 (55:04):
No, no, no, because guess what the craziest part about
that If you say that about a club and you
walk back in and accept money from that club, that club,
and go, hey, man, just so you know, don't be
talking about don't be talking about that.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
He was there the next day, next day. But that's
what I'm saying. But that is not going to ban him.
Speaker 3 (55:24):
To me, that's messier than anything I'm doing. That's messy,
that's real messy. I'm just going, hey, this way, this way.
The industry works every now and on threads, every nothing
on Twitter. I would even argue that what I'm doing
is a public service.
Speaker 1 (55:37):
You know what, You're a philanthropist.
Speaker 3 (55:38):
I'm a philanthropic. I'm giving money back. I'm passing out turkey.
It's like you know, Brown on Thanksgiving. I'm helping these people.
I'm helping people. Go Oh Jay Jay Jay talks a
little shit. He's still out everything and wants maybe I
can talk a little shit about it.
Speaker 1 (55:50):
Here's what I'm saying, Here's what I'm say about it.
As a comedian.
Speaker 2 (55:54):
Once people decide they like you, once they decide that
you're funny, they don't on board with anything that you're saying.
Speaker 1 (56:00):
You do. That's it.
Speaker 3 (56:02):
Well, I mean in the bad way too, because Chris
Deliah still be having people come see him.
Speaker 1 (56:07):
They bringing the kid. He's a pro.
Speaker 2 (56:09):
He's a problematic dude, but he's funny the whole problematic.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
He's also you can say, you could say it. The
allegations is out there.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Yeah, statutory statutory you are barely eighteen and a cult
basically while the wife was pregnant.
Speaker 2 (56:24):
Yeah, but the wife was pregnant. Yeah, But did Adam
Levigne do the same thing. This is men in entertainment
and generally.
Speaker 3 (56:30):
And then it was just kind of cheating.
Speaker 1 (56:33):
He was cheating, okay, he said, she my wife is
big for some reason. What you're doing tonight? He said that, No,
I did not say that she was pregnant.
Speaker 3 (56:44):
She sat there over the past, over the past seven months,
this helped to let herself go cheat. It's all in
the belly to feet somehow, nose spreading, what's up?
Speaker 1 (56:55):
Where are you at today? Cheating on your pregnant wife
is mess.
Speaker 3 (57:20):
But also like, because all three of us get along,
I accept these conversations and these critiques and these notes
from y'all.
Speaker 1 (57:27):
If y'all weren't funny, I wouldn't let y'all say this.
You know what I'm saying. Don't you know what I'm saying?
If I just stay.
Speaker 3 (57:33):
But if y'all weren't funny, if we didn't come up together,
if I didn't love y'all, I'd be like, what the
fun y'all know about? Because truly, some people will defend mediocrity,
not only mediocrity, but they'll go, oh, why does why
do people have to be good?
Speaker 1 (57:47):
And I go, well, that's a crazy question that everyone
whod I've never heard that.
Speaker 3 (57:53):
Everyone says, Oh, you don't have to be good now,
you just gotta make sure you find you can find
your angle, find your find your clip, find find it,
find it?
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Why you be good? People who are not good talk
like that.
Speaker 3 (58:03):
But I'm saying what I'm saying, a lot of people
aren't good, and what they see is they go, people
are chasing virality, People are chasing desperation. People are chasing
People are treating stand up comedy not like something you like,
work on and get better at. And you go, I'm
doing stand up comedy, but I'm gonna do this side.
I'm gonna do stand up comedy. I'm gonna get this one.
(58:25):
I'm gonna get this one guest star role on an
episode of TV. Go back to doing stand up comedy.
I'm doing standup comedy. I'm gonna go in this writer's
room for a little bit. I'm just stand up comedy.
I'm gonna get to do this movie. I almost do
stand up comedy. I get to do this shorter set
on the network, but I get to do back to
my hour.
Speaker 1 (58:38):
People aren't treating like that.
Speaker 3 (58:39):
People are treating like stand up comedy like ooh, if
I have this one clip of this one crowd member
telling me that his dick don't work is gonna make
me a superstar, and.
Speaker 1 (58:49):
I don't like that. I do not like it.
Speaker 3 (58:52):
And so when people kind of give that advice to
everyone in the beginning with when you send the motherfucking
troppods an open when you asking people at an open
mic what they do for a living nigga the same
thing as you waiting to get five minutes on this list.
Speaker 2 (59:07):
I don't. I don't and I'm not.
Speaker 1 (59:12):
Even pulling the letter up behind me because I shut
out comics. Every no you do, I.
Speaker 2 (59:16):
Will say that you do use your your platform for good.
Speaker 1 (59:20):
No, no, no, I think I am here for that.
Speaker 2 (59:25):
The only thing is like I'll be at the comedy
clubs or people have these discussions about comedy and I'm
gonna hit them with kim people are dying true, just.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
Like that we be hung up on is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (59:39):
It's like I rather rather the people that I follow
online that I enjoy, or like an example, Marie will
talk about her ship that she's got going on in
the she'll specifically this person.
Speaker 1 (59:51):
Is is stupid that happened to me?
Speaker 2 (59:54):
Instead of hitting random people that she's doesn't have that
are not really entangled with. I feel like that is
that doesn't do it for me. I want to hear
about your ship, but what.
Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Is there is there?
Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
But is there a line when like they're kind of homophobia, racism, transphobia,
or just sort of bigotry reaches reaches like a critical
mass where you as a black person, as a quick person,
as a person with a bunch of trans people who
you love in your life. Isn't there sometimes where you
got to say, hey man, there's some people saying some
stupid as ship right now I have to address it.
(01:00:30):
Or just so you know, not all stand up comics
are okay with this motherfucker shit, because that is a
place where we are headed. Because every interview I have now,
people go, oh, don't you love the fact that like
comedy is getting back to comedy. You can say whatever
you want. I can say whatever the fuck I want
all the time. Those motherfuckers want to say stupid shit.
Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:00:48):
The difference that's like I I think I have to
say it because I don't. I don't think anyone else
is qualified. Both from a martialized identity standpoint, from a
popularity standpoint, from a traditional success standpoint, and from an
Internet success standpoint to call out because they go, oh
(01:01:09):
Jay's not funny, Well that's a lie. All day's not successful.
Well that's why, Oh J doesn't. Why did Jay care
about these groups? I'm part of these groups. I think
because of that kind of triangulation of effects, I feel
like I have to like say something every now and then.
Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
For Neo, you're the one, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (01:01:24):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (01:01:25):
I say you're the Malcolm X of comedy. I'm not.
I'm one hundred Yeah, because I used to be a hole.
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (01:01:34):
He was a sex worker, I'm not. He was, he was,
he was, I wasn't. In the movie Malcolm X with
a sex Worker.
Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Wait, wait a minute, and it might have been in
the beginning he was. Wait when he was hooking up
with that white woman.
Speaker 1 (01:01:46):
Malcolm X was the hustler. He was.
Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
He people paid him for sex, which people black people.
It's right in the book Malcolm.
Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
X with sex Worker. Look it up. Look it up
right now, did you get Look I got this from
dum only.
Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
Yes, yes, yeah, he had a he had a my
only fans mean necessary.
Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
Let me look this up. You said Malcolm X was a.
Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
Sex work was a sex worker? Yeah, Michael, Malcolm X
was a male prostitution. What is this special, because that's
that's next in the next hour, Malcolm triple X.
Speaker 1 (01:02:18):
Yeah, I'm gonna Malcolm X sex work.
Speaker 3 (01:02:21):
Malcolm Malcolm triple X by any pens necessary, by any pens.
Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
They said, Malcolm X bisexual question mark.
Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
That'sing Reddit question mark.
Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
That's how you know the root Malcolm X and his
sex get to the root, from the root of to
the tutor.
Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
The sex work of Malcolm X. Sick of being low?
Speaker 3 (01:02:44):
Had you got with his home means? I want to
know what it means to be love?
Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
Okay, it did say a teenage Malcolm was back doing
sex work with a rich white guy. Oh not connect
what's fine? Not lobs and pasta? What he'd be feeding
me in lobster and papa. Well, what I'm saying, I'm like, Ah,
(01:03:14):
there's just so much that you can talk about that's
not but that's people in your feet.
Speaker 3 (01:03:21):
These majority of is that I talk about, Like, if
you actually the I think me calling people out does
get a little bit of focused And I do like
that because as a queer black person, I don't say
as a queer person. As a queer person, they really
don't expect queer men to pop off. They expect us
to be me. They expect us to be quiet about
this ship. They expect us to let everyone call us
(01:03:42):
all types of fagus. They expect no, none of us
to be funny on stage for straight people. They don't
expect us to be able to do well in the
straight rooms.
Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
They so crazy in this day and age, after all
that the gays have given us, and that they all
of the entertainment that they provide.
Speaker 1 (01:03:56):
Listen, these dudes still are mad.
Speaker 3 (01:03:59):
They can't say faggot, So now they say faggot and
they think it was gonna be like, oh, they said
it so like that, But that's like that's their push,
that's like there they want to be able to punch.
Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Not only that's their person line.
Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
That's like there, they really mean that, even because like
a while ago, Louis had a joke where he was
figuring out how he could say nigger and how he
can say faggot. And now they're still doing that, and
you kind and be like Louis c K did this
joke years ago and he figured out as soon as.
Speaker 1 (01:04:27):
He did it, they all tried to do it. We
were coming up there twenty sixteen seventeen to drop it. Yeah,
an N word A word, a word.
Speaker 3 (01:04:37):
So when that like has a place to like thrive
and fester and metastasize and get bigger and bigger and bigger,
if I don't call that out, then I feel kind
of crazy. And I've done less of like just calling
out people who are like, I don't think that person's
finding it. I've done a little bit less Now. I'm
kind of like, all that person's an asshole. All that
person like is pretty transphobic. I've trying to make it
(01:04:58):
less of, Like I don't think it's person is funny,
because that is more so that is subjective. That is subjective.
Some people you know they're gonna do, They're gonna do
what they want to do.
Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
People gonna write for them, while people you're gonna do
what they're gonna do. I think might be the title
of episode.
Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
People are gonna gonna do what they want to Snapcoochie Benefits.
Speaker 2 (01:05:16):
Snapcoocie Benefits is a hook. The hook right there, Malcolm
triple excel by any pains necessary.
Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Maria we didn't land on Plymouth cock
Plymouth cock landing, I hit.
Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
You first, but on the side of us.
Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
But I like I also, but like, I want to
have this conversation with y'all. The thing that actually makes
me when I get heated is when people who I
don't like say this stuff to me, because I go,
I don't like you, why are you talking to me?
Speaker 1 (01:05:50):
Has anybody ever pulled up on you? Yeah? The people people?
Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
So what happened? I think I was. I was at
a party. I was at some sort of common.
Speaker 1 (01:05:58):
Party right in front of the Bokasota. It's like, let
me talk to you. This is what they said. This
is what they said.
Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
They said, hey, you know, you're probably gonna get farther
like not talking about people. And I went to the
exactly what I said, y'all there, I said, I have
not talked about anyone who I want to work with.
Speaker 1 (01:06:18):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (01:06:19):
And if someone goes, oh, WHI y'all want to work
with you, roll the tape. Make sure make sure you
want to work with me, because like, well that's true.
Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
Just make sure make sure you want to work with me.
I don't want to work with you.
Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
We make sure you I want to work with me
if I've said it about you and that ship stung.
Speaker 1 (01:06:38):
Sorry here let's talk about this.
Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
So our friend and yours Iowa Debris was on a podcast,
would you answer a question?
Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
She made a comment about Jayleen.
Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
Then fast forward, I don't know how many years, probably
asked seven or eight right seven years later they asked
io to host s and l and the musical guest
Jennifer little Bit somebody, Yeah, somebody messy jug up the.
Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Podcast yeah, and was like, look at what she is? Yeah,
who did that?
Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
People on the internet bored people, sleuth people. People could
do that about me with j Low. But then they
also had to be like, listen, I have made fun
of her. But I also say Waiting for Tonight is
one of the best gay songs ever. Waiting for Tonight
changes gave people's lives.
Speaker 1 (01:07:23):
When it comes on an amendment to that, it's just
a great song. It's a great Okay. I was gonna
waiting for Tonight.
Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
I still see the green lights.
Speaker 3 (01:07:34):
I don't ever pretend like what I said on the
Internet didn't occur, Like it's just.
Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
Oh, you've not you've not done a sweep, you've not
done a tweet. Cleanse.
Speaker 3 (01:07:48):
I mean the tweet, don't they They cleanse after a
certain aunt time.
Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
They do not Because after the Kevin Hart fiasco, when
his old tweets got dug up, that's when I cleared
mind because I don't know what the hell I was
talking about.
Speaker 1 (01:08:01):
I mean, I probably have. No.
Speaker 3 (01:08:04):
It's hard for me to be like, oh, I don't
stand by that because if it was funny, I usually
say something so crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:08:09):
Yeah, but you might have. You might have tweeted something
in twenty twelve that you don't necessarily look up. Let
me look up Jay Jurton, twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (01:08:17):
But it's so hard for I'm also, you don't relax
and I'm gay.
Speaker 1 (01:08:22):
If I said a nigga, If I said a faggot,
let it rock. No, but we're not. I'm not in
trouble for that. You get in trouble, or to get
in trouble. If I'm about throwing out house, yeah he said.
Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
He he says gonna hit his son over the head
with a doll house if he got it, and then
he he didn't get the oscars.
Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
That's what I mean.
Speaker 2 (01:08:39):
Okay, Jay Jurden controversial, this is seven years ago. I
just want to be naked on HBO before I die, and.
Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
Then and then that happened, and then I and then
and then my ass is on HBO. How mad I
got to put my boody on that? They asked with
my team, I said yes in the front. They asked
for from I said yes. My team said, Jay, don't
say yes, we can. We can negotiate you. But but I said,
I can show my Dick said, day, this is the
first time on TV. Let's wait, that's a way, I said.
(01:09:06):
I said, I'll send the text now, they said.
Speaker 1 (01:09:09):
He said, I'm not mad at it. He said, put
it on there. Need I think.
Speaker 3 (01:09:16):
I think it's harder to find crazy stuff for me
because my existence online is crazy. If I'm talking about
wanting to blow one of the X men, you ain't
gonna be like, we trust.
Speaker 1 (01:09:24):
Everything, he said. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (01:09:27):
If I'm talking about, oh, I need to suck bishops,
Dick like, that's not this bishop. He's the one with
the locks. It's tougher for you to take me seriously.
Speaker 1 (01:09:38):
You're killing me.
Speaker 2 (01:09:39):
Okay, though, what you did, I feel like you did it.
I honestly, Jay, I'm not gonna lie. I've said before
I'm like, Jay is really funny.
Speaker 1 (01:09:47):
Yeah, well, you know he always but you're not wrong
saying that.
Speaker 3 (01:09:51):
I would never be like, I can't believe Sidney said
I'm starting drama anyway, girl.
Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
Guess what? Like, no, no, no, I don't disagree.
Speaker 2 (01:09:58):
And that's why I was like, Oh, I'm glad you
came to and you've you've shifted.
Speaker 1 (01:10:01):
I said. Fuck in the middle of this, I was like,
all right, I guess he's got mad points.
Speaker 3 (01:10:06):
Well, it's just but the harder part for me isn't oh,
that person is not funny. The harder part for me
is that person actually is kind of evil.
Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
Because if someone said, oh, Jay.
Speaker 3 (01:10:18):
Because we all the motherfuckers who are kind of evil
and like in this industry, In this industry, I mean
like truly where you go, you're like, oh, you're the devil,
holy shit. So like that has been the shift for me.
Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
So now the execs, that's the producer, that's the network.
Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
But but here's the thing. I do call out streamers.
Speaker 3 (01:10:40):
I literally said, I said a few weeks ago, I said,
if you want to turn your platform into a into
like a rental space for people who are bad, then
you're not gonna have any you're not gonna have any
critical a claim. So if you want to put people
in front of all your fans and all the people
who are subscribing to your stuff who are not good
at comedy, don't be surprised when those fans are terrible
(01:11:02):
and make you create terrible ship. And like, if you
know who that's about, you know who that's about, if
you know what trend that is, you know what trend
that is. And that's me calling them out because they
saw numbers. They saw numbers, but be for real, they
saw numbers on YouTube and they said, oh, let's do that,
and then the YouTube people they forgot. YouTube people are
different than subscribers because them YouTube people they like YouTube
(01:11:27):
because they can say evil ship directly to you.
Speaker 1 (01:11:30):
They want to go, it's not funny.
Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
My gosh, Harbor, she's not funny funny, Like that's you
know what I'm saying, But like it is a very
it is a very kind of like it's an intentional
effort on my part.
Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
Whenever I call shit out.
Speaker 3 (01:11:48):
I've never been like all that person who's knew it
comedy isn't funny because keep in mind, part of the
reason people like kill Tony's get they get to see
people bomb. I don't want to see people who are
just starting out comedy bombing and have them ruin their careers.
Speaker 1 (01:12:01):
I don't want.
Speaker 3 (01:12:02):
That for them because I didn't have to go through that,
and I'm better for not having gone through that. But
because the resources are limited, everything's kind of shrunk people.
It's the only way I can make it. This is
the only way I can the only way I can
make Let this man make fun of me.
Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
But there are people who've made it big on the rude.
But guess what.
Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
You can't be racist and then have the only person
who makes it out of your fucking racist bullshit be
a nigga from Orlando.
Speaker 1 (01:12:29):
And I'm just saying what but he did what. You
can't be racist.
Speaker 2 (01:12:34):
And have the only person who makes it, big guy
be a black person from Orlando and then keep saying
racist shit. Okay, this point, I don't I don't even
know if Cam is still assiliated.
Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
That's exactly is he? Probably no more. Let's see if
we can get them on the pot. You don't need them,
but here's it. But God, but if get on that.
But if your whole thing is.
Speaker 3 (01:12:56):
You want white boys to get up in front of
a panel of other comedians and say nigger, then you're
more the most famous person from your open mic. It
is an open Your most famous person from an open
mic is a nigga.
Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
That ship ain't lining.
Speaker 3 (01:13:11):
Enough for me, because you need to be nice to
niggas because they're giving credibility to your bullshit.
Speaker 1 (01:13:17):
Is that not true?
Speaker 2 (01:13:19):
I don't think that the black people are giving them credibility.
The white people don't think they need it.
Speaker 1 (01:13:23):
But you're like, we're.
Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
Gonna say what we want anyway, and our audience, the
demo of people who come are people who say that
word at home, Madison Square Garden, Boo Knights in a
row credibility.
Speaker 3 (01:13:36):
But then you can't you can't be like, oh look
at we can get you on SNL. But then you
can't say they didn't say that, but they are saying
and that.
Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
Well maybe, but Cam got on there because he's funny,
truly good.
Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
But you can't be. But I don't think you can be.
Speaker 3 (01:13:50):
I don't think you can be antagonistic towards black people
and then a black person helped help your thing.
Speaker 1 (01:13:56):
I don't know. I don't know nothing about kill Tony.
I don't know how even knowing it's like, who's to say?
Is it a burger joint? What is this?
Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
I thought it was a cartoon the Wesley Snipes having
to shoot him during the race war that clip. But like,
I just I'm strict about that kind of stuff because
for me, it is like the height of hypocrisy to
like champion people who want to kind of be evil
towards black people and towards women and towards trans people,
(01:14:28):
and then the person that's making your brand the most
famous is a black person. I think that hypocritical. I
think it's shortsighted. I think it's I think it's corny. Really,
I've an activist? Is that what at all? I can't say.
I can't claim an activist.
Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
I'm not.
Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
I don't do enough work to be activists every now
and they go there you go look, go for me, Okay,
there political action, Okay, click the link. I can't be
activists because I'm a comedian. For me, now is the activist?
Wait a minute, is that what we're saying here on
mess I'm more of.
Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
A comedie and then I am an activist.
Speaker 3 (01:15:01):
So if I claim the activist title, I gotta be
doing more activist stuff than comedy stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:15:05):
Do you disagree?
Speaker 3 (01:15:08):
But I'm being for real with that because if someone said, oh,
j you're actives, I'm a comedian who has done activist stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
I'm a comedian who has helped with some mutual a If.
Speaker 3 (01:15:18):
You come me activists, you're gonna have to be like, well, Jay,
you haven't spoke up enough about no true.
Speaker 2 (01:15:22):
Yeah, once you put that title on there, you better
be boots on the ground baby all the time, every story.
Jesse Jackson, No, you got you? I mean you, j
Jesse Jordan Jackson. Yeah, activist. I don't want you to
talk on the next post. I need something. It needs
to make sense.
Speaker 3 (01:15:42):
Justice for ball, Justice for balls. It's not even like
I'm giving activist. I'm just trying to really think about
this from just from a strategy standpoint, Like if if
I think about everything I do and everything I say,
it's either attention grabbing so that people go look at
my stuff and go oh, he's very funny, where they
go ooh, Jay's really outspoken and they agree with the
(01:16:03):
point even if they go I don't like comedy, but
I do like what he's saying. And if someone kind
of like disagrees with me instantly, did not also have
their attention because they might comment that boost algorithm. I'm
not saying controversial stuff so that people don't pay attention.
I'm saying this ship so that you think I didn't
know people were gonna repost all the stuff when I
posted that the crazy thread, when I said, oh, this
(01:16:24):
is how I feel about Tony, this is how I
feel about Tim Didllon, this, I feel about je Rogan,
this half about theobon.
Speaker 1 (01:16:28):
I want people to post that. I want people to go,
ooh I agree. I want people to go.
Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
I disagree, and I'll be like, why tell me why
quote sweet quote engagement.
Speaker 2 (01:16:36):
Yeah, it's not like strategy Day has a strategy and
I didn't even know that.
Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
And a publicist which is yeah, my public is they
don't even they like it. You're serious about.
Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
Work show tomorrow, they gonna give me I'm gonna say
something crazy. They're oh, please do and make sure you
shout outs, be like.
Speaker 1 (01:16:57):
You know, you know who you'll should have on here.
Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
I'd be like, Josh, you know you need to have next.
But I also value conversations with people who I like,
so like I get to hang out with y'all and
we get to have these conversations whenever.
Speaker 1 (01:17:09):
Whenever I do stand up, I do want stand up
to be the focus.
Speaker 3 (01:17:12):
Like the Special to me is very good because I
don't talk about nothing in the special exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:17:16):
You know what I mean. It's just jokes.
Speaker 3 (01:17:17):
It's just I say one thing about podcasts, but I
kind of talk about how like the manisphere in general's
fucking men up.
Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
But like my goal is for people to get to
my comedy.
Speaker 3 (01:17:27):
If it takes being a little messy, if it takes
talking a little ship, if it takes me being in
the speedo, if it takes me kind of like being
politically aware, Like all those things should lead back to
you buying.
Speaker 2 (01:17:40):
A ticket, okay, send us a speedo pick for the
dump okay, and then send us like a strategy thing
like I need I want to like I need them,
I want to follow.
Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
So I should talk ship a little bikini post. Then
I see you girl, you know for you know I
do not use now why would I use have j
I have the equation right here.
Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
If you talk a little ship, talk a little ship
showlotle dick.
Speaker 1 (01:18:10):
That's it, little ship shoulder dick. That sounds like a
good that might be Yeah, yeah, like Malcolm X.
Speaker 3 (01:18:20):
I can't believe you'all were like Malcolm X want fucking
sucking for money.
Speaker 1 (01:18:23):
I didn't know we had. I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
I didn't teach that dirt like I didn't know that.
I watched the movie so many times.
Speaker 1 (01:18:30):
You don't know her. You didn't get to do it.
You can do a poem on that.
Speaker 2 (01:18:34):
Oral report on his oral situation. The ir eyes is
really Max. Come on, yeah, he's the Maya Angelou Malcolm X.
He was putting it down on Betty shabaz Yo. She
was in there justice for Betty. Yeah, hey, back that
you bads up. I gotta go back to herd.
Speaker 1 (01:18:55):
That you bas up is also a good.
Speaker 3 (01:19:00):
This is why I talk ship because I'm fun I'm
not that funny.
Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
Listen, hey, hey, look at me.
Speaker 3 (01:19:06):
I love every comment every comic who've ever talked about.
I won't say anything bad about you for the rest
of the day, for the day, for the rest.
Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
For the rest the day. We need Marie hol Me
say this the rest of the day. Let me to this.
I'm not talking about anybody today, for the rest of
the day, for the rest of the day, for the
rest of the day.
Speaker 2 (01:19:28):
That is, Oh my god, I can't believe that I
had an appeal on my Instagram on my account that
should have been my mess yes, because I did, I
didn't add for a lift, and then I posted it
and they were supposed to monetize it and they were like, oh,
we can't monetize it because you had a violation. A
violation because I posted a picture of a barbie doing
(01:19:51):
cocaine from my show. And they were like, oh, you
cannot do ads until February second of twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (01:19:58):
What because of barbel.
Speaker 2 (01:20:02):
Because you can't be soliciting drugs, doing drugs, bullying, violence, nudity.
Speaker 3 (01:20:10):
What One time I posted I posted my booty so
that people were buy tickets to a show. Uh, and
then someone reported the booty and then but like booties
are allowed, just a little bit of booty I think
is allowed. Cancel home. No, that's the only thing that's evil.
But uh, they reported me and then I peeled and
(01:20:31):
Instagram was like you can you can do that. They
were like you can, you can put your booty up.
So it went back up. But I had like people
kind of try to get me in situations like that,
who would have reported you.
Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
Oh, honey, I don't know, but they I I was
distraught because it's it's money, you know, I'm trying to
get paid. And uh yeah they got, they got. They
just got back to me.
Speaker 1 (01:20:52):
What they say.
Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
They said, Hey, I have the best news. Just got
the message from the policy. It looks like we made
a mistake and remove something you post it on Facebook
Instagram that didn't go against our community standards. We want
to apologize and let you know that we've restored your
content and removed any blocks on your account related to
this incorrect action.
Speaker 1 (01:21:11):
I should sue. That's great, z. Yeah. They don't want
people to get money either. That's another thing they're like.
Speaker 2 (01:21:18):
So many peopleff is not monetized on Instagram, so many
how long it's been Wait, why, Marie, I don't know
front Wait if it's not my Instagram is not monetized.
Speaker 3 (01:21:28):
And people but you know, and people think all all
these videos make money.
Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
Those people think about my videos used to be monetized.
Now they are no longer monetized. I got to update
my tax stuff, so mine aren't coming to you. I
gotta get my I'm gonna send you Michaels Michael's number, Yes,
and so you hit him up.
Speaker 1 (01:21:43):
He'll help you for sure. Who missed? Wow, we did it?
We really this is.
Speaker 3 (01:21:49):
An extended I'm also glad that we have this conversation
because so many people think you can't have this conversation,
like I think, a legit conversation about like the pros
and cons of like talking a little shit it. And
because we work both in an industry that's like artists
but also like make your money, like having these conversations
and they continue. But we can't even have these conversations
(01:22:10):
because the minute you say, oh, I don't really I
don't know how I feel about them, people go, oh,
you should be best friends, or they go, oh, you
should hate them.
Speaker 1 (01:22:16):
I don't think anyone has to hate the people I hate.
Speaker 3 (01:22:19):
But you just take you know, every down there and
listen to what I'm saying about these people, because they
do be scamming folks I don't like. I don't like
people scamming people when they come to see them. If
I say, oh, you just trick those people and give
you money, okay, listen.
Speaker 1 (01:22:32):
Let me tell you some people want to be scammed's
okay money give ways.
Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
Don't care you see how they live their lives and
their homes and whatnot. They're okay, listen, they stay giving
out their emails the last four digits of their Social Security.
Those people want to get their money took, and they
got extra four of the Social I can't.
Speaker 1 (01:22:52):
I can't get mad at them. That's me.
Speaker 3 (01:22:54):
I got scammed one time. The way they got me,
they got me a well Spargo. They got me a
while ago. They called me up up. They said there's
some charges on your account. I said where. They said, Houston.
I said, I'm not in Houston. How can I fix it?
I said, okay, all you gotta do is give me.
I said, okay, I'm gonna give it to you. They
ran they and then the crazy part about me getting
scammed is I call that number back. I said, Hey,
y'all scammed me. Y'all ain't Wells Fargo.
Speaker 2 (01:23:18):
Wait, a number called you and I said something about
Houston and then you might to verify your information, and
you gave them your actual information.
Speaker 3 (01:23:24):
No, I said, I'm gonna call Wells Fargo, and Wells
Fargo said we didn't make that call. And then I
called that number back and I said, y'all scammed y'all
gonna give me. Yeah, y'all pick up yes, because.
Speaker 1 (01:23:33):
They thought I was calling back to give them in form.
And what did they say? Is it I'll never get
I was walking in the little fields. I said, oh
my god, he's okay. Let me let me come up back.
Speaker 2 (01:23:44):
Hey, shooters, gotta shoot. They almost got you got you
got when I got I got robbed.
Speaker 1 (01:23:50):
It's not sad. It's not sad. I did get robbed.
Speaker 3 (01:23:53):
They only got like forty They got like one hundred
dollars out of me because I shut the cars down.
Speaker 1 (01:23:57):
But even then they robbed me. I was like, y'all
know we can shut cars is down. Where did you
get up, Rob Harlem? Recently? Did they hit you too? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:24:07):
Him in the back of the head, Like they took
my coach bag, so they like to know you were
gag they took that was they took the coach Empire bag,
which was funny because then when they run away, I
was like, some fucking faggots with a purse.
Speaker 1 (01:24:21):
Did they they? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
Yeah, Well it wasn't two sexy Nigeria, So I'm kind
of what did they hit you with?
Speaker 1 (01:24:29):
Justice?
Speaker 2 (01:24:29):
Small?
Speaker 3 (01:24:29):
Let got gang him? Not he got hit by No,
it was a gang jump. They jumped him.
Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
Wait, Jay, what did they hit you? They hand and
they said they had a gun. Ja did they show
your bag I had? I had the big joint. They
knew you were a game. You look if you look.
Speaker 3 (01:24:49):
At the podcast with Devin, if you look at my
favorite lyrics, like it's that the light one, the leather one.
They got that one. They ran away with it, totop
in it. No, it had my cards, my keys, and
my and then I also had to get new glasses.
I had a concussion and I did a podcast next day.
I was very funny because I didn't know I was concussed.
Uh yeah, wait did.
Speaker 1 (01:25:09):
They're not supposed to sleep when you have a concussion.
Speaker 3 (01:25:11):
You can't sleep when you have a concussion. So I
was like in and out all day, like Lucas.
Speaker 2 (01:25:15):
You were still funny? And did they start to go
fund me? I didn't see that for you.
Speaker 3 (01:25:18):
No, I'm fine, I don't. I mean, it's not like
a situation. I just now can talk about it because
when I was telling people, They're like, oh my gosh.
I was like, yeah, it was very I got I
was walking by school because it was lit, but because.
Speaker 1 (01:25:30):
No it was you got knocked the fuck out?
Speaker 3 (01:25:33):
What happened the episode tell you that's yeah, jumping people's
some mess people. I got scammed like the old school way,
like they robbed me. But they said they had a gun.
So that's also why I didn't fire. You didn't see it, no,
but like they like if you see, like they fucked
me up a little bit there, like that's like still
healing from it. Wait, what did they hit you with?
(01:25:53):
They hit me in the back of the head. So
I was walking. I was walking towards the subway, headed west,
and they hit me in the back of the head
with like with the fist. Because I didn't go, I
didn't black out, like I just kind of fell down.
And so then I was like oh, and it was
two dudes and they're like, don't know, we got a gun.
I said, oh my god. And so then I still
have my phone. So they got my bag and so
they they were like, we need the phone. I said, man, no,
(01:26:15):
you got my bag. They said we need the phone.
I said I need the phone, and so once again
not I should have been trying to be funny, and
I was like, man, just give my phone, like no,
So they were like wrestling for the phone, and so
they got the phone.
Speaker 1 (01:26:26):
Here's the crazy part. I literally had all this song.
I'm like, why you were fighting.
Speaker 3 (01:26:32):
I'm not gonna say how much these rings are, but
like these these are like coffee diamonds.
Speaker 2 (01:26:35):
So like it's not I thought you got the stuff
from a jury. No, this is this is nice. This
is David Yearman and this is like and this is
like our custom jeweler. But like they didn't get into this,
our custom jewels.
Speaker 1 (01:26:47):
Me and my husband. Wait, is that Rose goes? Yeah?
I love get a custom jeweler.
Speaker 3 (01:26:53):
I love once again, this is why I can talk ship.
We'll talk shitet hit, but I didn't hit. Uh they
wait a second, I think Matt Rice sent them goons
to Rob.
Speaker 2 (01:27:07):
And you're gonna put that on mess and you know,
if they get us a cease and desist, we're coming
for you.
Speaker 1 (01:27:12):
Jay.
Speaker 2 (01:27:12):
Well, I'm not seating. I say, Hannah sent the goons.
I said Matt I say names every now and then.
Speaker 1 (01:27:19):
It's fun.
Speaker 2 (01:27:22):
You have.
Speaker 1 (01:27:24):
Where can people find you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:27:27):
On the socials, Jay Jurden on all socials. J A
Y j U R D E N. That's on Instagram,
that's on Facebook. Yeah, I'm still on there. I gotta
go to my twentieth class reunion. I'm on, I'm on,
I'm on X, I'm on Twitter. On Twitter, there's a
lot of porn people who follow me on Twitter. I
want to say this right now. Keep following me and
send your nasty ass friends too. I'm on blue Sky.
(01:27:51):
See you got your blue Sky. It's boring, but it's cute.
I'm on TikTok. What else?
Speaker 1 (01:27:56):
I'm okay, I'm on Truvada and what else? What's oh?
I was like, what's that? We need to get on
your bad sound? That sounds like let's get on all
these gay men.
Speaker 3 (01:28:12):
Yeah, these gay men, they don't prep and that's hibbaba.
Speaker 1 (01:28:16):
Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (01:28:17):
Thank y'all, and Sydney, thank you because sometimes I do
need to be checked. So thank you for being a
good friend and checking me when I need to be checked. Marie,
thank you for being the devil on my shoulder. Be like,
keep going, that's what I need. I like that more
than like someone who goes, well, I'm not gonna talk
to Jay.
Speaker 1 (01:28:33):
Thank you for doing that. That's unnecessary, but that's not
like but that's like that to me.
Speaker 3 (01:28:38):
That's a way more productive conversation than people being like, oh,
we know James a hater, because every now that Jay's
right but also a hater.
Speaker 1 (01:28:45):
Okay, you're hey, every hater is right at least twice.
You gotta be listen so you know I had a
good time. We all keep your head up, the right hater.
That's the title episode.
Speaker 3 (01:28:57):
Head up, Marie, don't want me to get jumped again.
Don't jump please, don't get please, don't jump me again. Yeah,
I don't know. I don't know who's in the good
I mean, y'all know the real mess about someone who's
singing goons?
Speaker 1 (01:29:08):
We yea okay, okay, okay, y'all be thinking of I
will not talk about it.
Speaker 3 (01:29:20):
Why the bestial on Hulu, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (01:29:24):
Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast, created
and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced
by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos,
edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.
Speaker 1 (01:29:41):
If you would like your messages read on air, please
email us at mess The podcast at gmail dot com
or call for your messages to be played at seven
six three two eight zero six five eight eight
Hosts And Creators
Sydnee Washington
Marie Faustin
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