November 29, 2023 • 29 mins
Is it Christian Comedy because you don’t cuss and you love Jesus or do actual Christian references have to be applied? Hell,I don’t know. Let’s Laugh about it. Not. Christianity, Comic Labelization. And I am certain that is Not a word.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
H y'all ready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome missus. Michael called this world, started doing Venice Peach.
Now he reached in the world. He'll make you left.
Take the stomach car superfly, nice guy. I'm praid if
you need to work at the trust. Kidding now he's
ready for the star searching winner and oh g three times.
This ain't gonna beginning whether you win, y'all house, you
want your brother's a dinner on your job and your brother.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I mean, it's a call.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Michael Taus said.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Everybody I call Yes, Michael Taus had everybody I call, Yes, Michael.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Taus say everybody you know what they need shine.
Speaker 5 (00:36):
I called Michael fuck to everybody I call. Michael talks
to everybody. Michael to say my body.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Everybody.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Everybody call Hello, everybody, How y'all doing today?
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I hope you are super calor listic ext old shift.
I love comedy, I mean, I just love all kinds
of comedy.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
I like clean comedy.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I like dirty comedy too, you know, I like when
it's christ and clean and no caffeine. You know, just
like my church joke, the lady came home early from
church and some guy was.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
Burglar in the house.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So she shouts out, halt acts two thirty eight, you know,
repenting the name of me, and the lady just froke
and no, the guy froze.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
The lady walks over to the phone, pick phone, call
the police.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Twenty minutes later, police get there, the guy is still
froze in the same position. So the police handcuffing walking
to the car and the police said, now, how you
let that lady stop you back shouting?
Speaker 5 (01:36):
Not a scripture, she said, scriptures a scripture?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I thought she said she had an axe and two
thirty eighths.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
That to me, that's Christian comedy.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
That's not just clean, but it's church and vow So
I'm not sure what it is. But in my midst,
I have two In my midst, I have two great comedians, well,
one comedian and one comedy. And the comedy and the Lovely,
the Wonderful, the Awesome, Stray of Blackstray of Black, Welcome Today.
(02:07):
And this guy is a clean master when it comes
to this comedy. Man, I keep telling people you can
hit him in the head with two bayo and he
ain't gonna cuss. He's a great commedity. My nephew and
I ain't just saying this because he's my nephew. I'm
saying I love him because he's awesome and all that
he does, he always keeps God first. Josiah B Joes
(02:28):
in the house, So listen, Josiah Jones. He really specializing
in churches and things like, not just Church of Chicken.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
That's why I do my set, but in real churches.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
He go around the country and pack him out and
he could be funny forty minutes without.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Cussing at all.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
And because he goes and does so many churches, I
just call him a Christian comedian.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
And you're just in time, Josiah to define the difference.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
What's the difference between a clean comedian and a Christian
commedy or is there a difference?
Speaker 5 (02:58):
I'm glad you asked that one.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I oftentimes tell people that I am not a Christian comedian.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I am a comedian that's a Christian.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
And so what.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Happens is my comedy connotations or my explanations. My content
is always in line with the context of our relationship
with God. So there are certain things that I don't say.
I don't have any Jesus donkey jokes. I don't have
no disciple jokes, but I do do my jokes in
a way in which be its family friendly and not
(03:31):
an offense to anyone. Because I don't live in offensive lifestyle,
So why should I do comedy that I can't live
off stage?
Speaker 5 (03:38):
Wow? Wow? So but what's clean comedy opposed to Christian?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Now, Christian comedy has, like you said, like, let's say
a joke I was gonna work out, but the Bible
says the wicked runner when no man chases.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Okay, that's Bible, and it's tied into a joke.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
It's so literally being.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
The tire set is Bible deria, Bible derivative. Everything is
coming out of the Bible. And so that's Christian comedy.
You take all your jokes and material are.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Coming straight out of the room from the Good Book.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
So just just telling the joke with Christ in it
is not enough to make a Christian joke. Now you
have some people that do blasphemic jokes of Christ, and
where they may let me do this joke blasphemic.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Writing that down, I don't know what that is.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
I mean blast for blasphemy fun of Christ. Oh, I
gotta do a blast phemic one too. But I'm not
making fun of Christ, don't. I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Okay, but first let me get I'll get this joke,
and you tell me if it's a Christian joker.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Okay. So one day, uh Jesus.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Christ and Saint Peter walk around the clouds, you know,
they're trying to figure out something to do their little
bored you know, Jesus looking down on Earth and he
sees some people playing golf.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
You know, Arnold Palmer. You remember, the great Arnold Palmer.
He was a great, great golfer, you know. But but
this Tiger Woods he saw.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
But he saw Arnold Palmer down there, man, and I
mean Arnold Palmer was killing the game.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Man. He was hitting birdie, birdie, par Park, you name it.
He swapping out of there right.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
So after they watched a little bit, Jesus said to
Saint Peter, yo, Pete, you know, cause they're on first names.
He said, Yo, Pete, why don't we go down on
earth and get in the sun. And so Pete like, yo,
Jesus with you on that. But what you want to
get into, he said, they're playing golf. Let's let's let's
get out of shot. So Peter said, you know cool,
So they come down on earth. Is Jesus, Saint Peter?
You know they brought a couple of caddies. Okay, Saint
(05:34):
Peter go first, right, he hits the ball. What ball
goes three hundred yards in a row?
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Okay, Jesus come up. He hit the ball. Ball goes
four hundred yards and a.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Dove grabs it, starts flying a fancy can.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
A lightning bolt hits the dove. The dove dropped the ball.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
A rabbit grabs the ball, start running, trips over stone,
the ball flat.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
Through the air, laying in the hole hole of one.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Say turn to Jesus said, look, we're gonna play golf
for a funk around?
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Now? Is that a Christian Christian jokes? Know what? If
I said we're gonna fool around, it could be a
Christian joke or still not.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It had a lot of undertones in it because people
think because they put Jesus name in in the.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Saint Peter like, oh yeah, we got it. It's good.
I'm gonna give you another example, but but can you
give me another example? Finish on that? Is that not Christian?
Christian or not?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
It's clean it's clean or not, or if you take
the app out is clean, but it's not Christians, All right,
go ahead, what were you gonna say that? So it's
like you look at it where most Christian comedians make
fun of church stuff. Most clean comedians make fun of life.
Are observational comedy.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
It's their life. It's them.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Christian comedians do the Bible. They make fun of the Bible,
the Church and everything is about. Like an example, it
was three It was three ladies that went to heaven
and they had it want to rule Uncle Michael. They
had one room strayler. The rule was don't step on
any ducks. The first lady got to heaven, she stepped
on a duck, so they changed her to an ugly
(07:11):
man and said, you got to live the rest of
your life with this ugly man. Second late stepped on
a duck. They said you got to live the rest
of your life. Changed to another ugly man. So next
thing you know, the third lady lived with not stepping
on one duck, and they changed her next to the
most gorgeous man she ever saw.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And she said, yes, I made it. And she asked
the man.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
She says, I was so good.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I didn't step on any ducks.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
He says, well, I don't know what you did, but
I stepped on a lot of ducks and look where
it got me.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
Oh my god. Okay, okay, all right, all right this one, hey, folks,
have you with us? Right here? It is Michael talks
to everybody.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
To them, I'm talking to a couple of comedians because
we're trying to get to the bottom of this whole thing.
Christian comedy as opposed to clean comedy.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Can you tell me if this is one?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Okay, So this guy, you know, he's driving down the street.
He truck driver, got eighteen wheeler, and he gives Jesus
a lift. Now understand, he didn't know stifle Jesus.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
You know, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
He just saw this hippie looking dude stand alongside the road.
He had a blanket around tied with a rope for
a belt. He had this long after you know, long
hair thing going on, the little beerd and stuff, and
you know, and and so the driver seen homeless people before,
he just figures another home to do.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
He give him a lift.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So Jesus getting the truck, they drive him and a
guy off of Jesus a cheeseberg.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Jesu said, yeah, I take that cheap berg.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
The drive a little further. Truck drivers said, look, I'll
get two Coca colas.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
I can't drink about one. Jes said, Man, don't give
me a cocoa.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
So when you get through eating, truck driver turned to
Jesus said, look, pop up in that glood. Jesus, pop
up with the look upon it, right, big old blunt
there with a lighter. So truck drivers said, man, don't
don't fight a up.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Jesus like, now, I'm good. I'm good. Like man up,
you know, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
He don't want to be inhospitable right, So he found
the joint, take a long hit, he blows it out.
He turns to the truck driver. He said, you know,
I probably should tell you I'm Jesus Christ. Truck driver said,
(09:25):
good ship. Huh. She thought it wasn't Jesus, just some
dude thinking Jesus, that's a funny joke.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
I know. It ain't no Christian joke.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
It's wonderful. That's that's that's one of the wonderful blasphemy.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Oh my god, that one's blasphemy. Yes, you made Jesus
smoke a blood. It's blasphemous for Jesus will smoke weed.
They smoked weed during his time. Come on, it's in
the Bible.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It didn't say it in here.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
It doesn't say in the Bible that they that they
arteth take on and on the smokabolel.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
No, No, they just drunk wine. Oh, they just drank wine.
But you're on a joint. Would have really went good
with a glass wine. Everybody. Everybody know that. Now, Okay, okay,
I ever mean the blasphemous.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
I love God and I certainly love Jesus, so I
don't mean to be blasphemous.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
I'm just wow. I know you said I can't tell
that joke the moment.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Since you point out that this blasphemous, it's a good joke.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
It is.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
But I mean, if you can say it in that
context to where you know it's blasphemous, it's like you
did it to make laughter.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Out of it.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Some people do it to intentionally blasphe me.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
What on atheists. Oh my baby back, Missta.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I've done clean comedy at a nursing home before. I
haven't done Christian comedy. I've done clean comedy, but I
admire any body that can do clean comedy. I admire
Joe Siyah so much, and not just he's funny, but
to be able. You know, he's positive on and off
(11:10):
the stage. But for him to you know, conflict that
with comedy is just so amazing to me because I'm
so fucked up.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
I cussed in every fucking thing.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
I mean not not like you know, all the time,
but I definitely cuss when I'm on stage. I definitely do.
I think it makes me more funnier. Now, can I
polish it up? Yes, absolutely, if the check for the check.
But you know, right now, you know with me, this
(11:40):
all being kind of still new, not that new, but
still being new. I just think it's something that I
want to work at.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
But I'm comfortable with person on stage.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
So again, I admire people like you.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
To Australian, I.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Have a red.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I don't know if it's a Christian joke, it's more
there's more religious. I guess it's more of a religious
joke than just a Christian. No, it's just not a
Christian joke. It's just it's just a spiritual joke. Okay,
all right, So this guy dies.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
And goes to heaven.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
So the guy who's you know, the guy who gives
the escorts the tours there, and he said, come on
with me. So they walk a little bit and he say,
those guys over there, those are the Christians.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
They said, look over there, those the Hebrews. Look over there,
those are the Muslims. And the guy said, well, why
do you keep whispering? He said, cause they all think
they're the only ones here. Come on, is that brilliant?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Come on now.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
And guess who told it?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
My minister Michael Beck with out a guy paying internet center.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
That takes us to our commercial break. We'll be right black.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Hey, Michael talks to everybody today. I he with Josiah B.
Jones and Stray of Black and they are funny.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
See you manut and we're back. Okay, okay, man, we'd
be talking to everybody on this show. Man.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I just love it that we also talk about whatever
we want to talk about.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
In today's topic, what the hell is Christian comedy?
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I've been telling jokes that I thought was Christian, but
they weren't even because there'd be a couple of elements
in there that eliminates the.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
Christian part of it. So tell me a really good,
clean joke that's not Christian.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
I got one for you, a good joke that's not Christian.
My mom's wife, my dad's missing. And so what it
does is I make the audience think so now in
their mind they don't know whether the national I never
tell the nationality of my father. I just go ahead
and bring nuances up and I stretch it to just
(13:54):
let them know. And I bring my father in at
the end of for the punchline, for the whole thing.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Now, I just focus on.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Having a white mom, but I don't bring my daddy
into the end. And so I basically I said, I
look at this like I tell the story about my daughter.
She says, Daddy, where does babies come from? I said,
I'm glad you asked. As a man of God, I
can tell you exactly where babies come from. I said,
God and Daddy helped mommy make you. And the words
of my car very good, very good.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Very good, very good.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
She says, are you saying that God need a man
to make a baby? I said absolutely. She said, until
you got thrown baby said, she ain't got no man.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
That's clean. Okay, all right, that's clean. Okay, what about
what about this? What about this? Do you tell me?
What is this? Christian is just clean? What is it?
So this? Okay? First of all, people say, you're not
supposed to say handicap jokes. It's wrong.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
It's wrong to say jokes, especially if you're not a handicapped.
But I asked this lady in the wheelchait the.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Other day and I says, it's true. The handicap people
don't like jokes.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
And she said, look, we like everybody else, you tell
that damn joke.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
So here it is. Okay.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
This guy wanted a job, but he didn't have no arms.
Responsible brother, responsible brother, So he decided to.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Look for a job.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
You know. So Sunday morning he went down and get
the Sunday paper. You know, he took his face, he
flipped the pages. Okay, sorry, anyway, he finds his job saying,
they want to hire somebody at the.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Church to ring the bell on Sunday. Okay, So he
go down.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
To the church, right, he go down to church, see
the minister. He says, give me, father, reverend, minister past left,
I like to have that job ring the bell at
the church on Sunday.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
And the father said but by my son, you have
no arms. He said, look to ring the bell. Could
I have a job? Repent? Yeah, man, you ring the bell,
you can have a job. Okay.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
So the guy go up to the steeple right, he's
lying himself up on the bell the night line. He
runs his fancy camp, slams his face into the bell,
big ma bell ring like mo fuck. They give him
the job.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Man, He happy man every week like clockwork.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Sunday morning, he kept up in the morning throwing his suit.
You know, took the sleeves in the pocket. Wait anyway,
he throws his suit on, right, and.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
He go down to the church. He go up to
the steeple, line himself up on the bell.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Run fast camp, slam his face to the bell, bing
man ban ban bean bell ringing.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
He making money, he's stacking paper. He feeling good about hisself. Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
So one Saturday he decided to go out and celebrate.
Then a little dancing, they little.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Drinking, then little eating, then a little drinking, then a
little drinking, then a little drinking. He was fucked up.
He I mean, he was ripped. But he still went
to work the next day with the hangover.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Responsible brother, straight, responsible brother. So he gets up, put
on a suit, you know, touch the sleeves. He go
up to the to the to the steeple. He lined
himself up, little tipsy line runs his fancy can miss
the bell throughout the window, hit the ground.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Fucker's dead. Now everybody's gathering around, and the police is there, and.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
They say, does anybody notice men? Anybody recognize them? And
one lady come up and she said, well, you know,
his face does can't ring a bell. You could do
that joke without profanity, but even without profanity still wouldn't
pass as a Christian joke. With it, it actually passed
because you can do it in church. There's four derivatives
(17:33):
of clean comedy. There's church clean comedy. Church clean comedy
is that you can listen. You can do it with children,
grandmas and mothers in the room.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Where it's it's not offensive to religion.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Now there's club clean comedy, club king comedy. You can
say damn in hell, you can get away with those.
You can say those, that's that's club clean. Then you
have for the knack of the National Association of Colleges.
You can't say you can't say we, you can't say six,
you can't say crack, you.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Can't allude to anything, you can't say ray.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
It literally has to be so clean that literally professors
and students could come watch you and that's like, that's
that's basically PG and no one will be offended and
talk about who come, Nobody would be offended.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
I I don't know how I could do that comedy.
And the last thing is kids comedy.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
That's more physical because kids, kids ages five to twelve
not listening to what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
They looking at what you're doing. It's kid comedy. It's
PG G.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Ray and it's a lot of movement, a lot of color,
you know, more than a word, because they don't care
what you're saying. They just want to be like ju
Now go on Venice Beach. The kids love me, so
the crowd will be there. I can look at all
the children. The children were the ones most fascinated with
me because my show is physical.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
So I'm all over the place.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
You know, I got a flash while I'm jumping out
from yelling people, from running, I'm doing all this stuff.
As the kids like didn't know what's going on with
they excited because there's an action going on. Okay, what's
a truly clean joke that's not Christians just a clean joke.
Speaker 5 (19:12):
A good joke would be.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Here. I got one, his one, his one. He was
talking to Zebra, rapping, wrapping Zebra. Finally Zebra says, hey,
what do you want?
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Horse? He said, you know what I want?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Baby, Now get over here and take off them pajamas clean.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
Here's another.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
What did what did the what did the street light
say to the other street light?
Speaker 5 (19:40):
What don't watch me change? But sheet saying to the left,
but chet, if we stick together, I think we can
hold this ship down.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Now, this nasty, but it was so good, It was
so good.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I got one.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I got one that I can say in the club
that I can't say in the church.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
It ain't a cussoing one. You can't.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I can't say this in the church trail, but I
can say it in the club.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
One day the devil caught Jesus on the phone and
he said, phone rung. He said, he says, all right, Heaven,
And so his receptionist was like, I need to speak
to Jesus.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
They said, all right, hold on my moment.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
So all of a sudden the receptions came back. The
devil said you know what, I gotta go for five minutes.
The devil left for five minutes, then come back. They said,
you called Jesus. How you gonna put Jesus on hold?
He came back, he said, can you go eat Jesus?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I need them.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
It's a real emergency. They says, okay, be going to
get Jesus. The devil left the phone for thirty whole
minute trail.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Next thing you know, the devil got back and was like, Jesus,
I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
He said, what do you mean?
Speaker 5 (21:00):
You said, them niggas don't put the fire out, But
you can't tell that the church.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
No, I can't tell the church, but I can say
what part of that is not The nigga does not
make it good? Oh, but you could say it without nigga, yep,
And then could you say.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
It in church? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I can say those dang because I gotta.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Say you say, you can say ninjas them ninjas didn't
put out the fire because it wouldn't be in the
wording as much as the actual delivery tone. You know,
I need to go exactly what did the pillows say
when it fell off the be.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
She so that's just clean. I guess that wouldn't fall
into Christian that would just be clear.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
So I love all comedy. I like blue comedy, Ryan comedy.
I love clean comedy. Well clean comedy could be funny.
It's a brilliant thing. And I love Christian comedy. I
just don't always know what it is. We did that show,
Uncle Michael, Me and Uncle Michael did two shows out
of church and knocked them out in Texas.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Turned it out. I said, blue comedy blue is dirty.
So if you if you call it.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Blue, yeah, I ain't talking about cussin and grabbing your
dick and all that kind of stuff, which is.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
The fabulous thing which can't do it the church.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
And the reason they called it blue comedy Stred is
because back in the days with Johnny Carson, they would
have a blue card and this they were writing down
the things you couldn't say on it, and so whatever
it's on that list, then you couldn't say it. And
there were like some words back then that was considered
it was like seven words that was considered blue, but
(22:41):
they wrote them down.
Speaker 5 (22:42):
I just learned. But who said those seven words? I believe?
Was it? George George Carlin.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
George Carlin did an album with the seven words you
can't use.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
He said every one of them in his album, every
one of them. He used all of them.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
That ship so like crazy because it was different from
me anything anybody else is doing. Man, that's deep. But nowadays,
as we were talking before, like.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
Sometimes when you're getting these like television shows or network whatever,
it's like the money is connected to you not be
using gratitous language or profanity.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And so sometimes that check, the check will determine. They'll
say you can't say this and that, and if you do,
then you don't get the check.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
It it was.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
A clean club Uncle Michael in Ohio called I forget
the name of it, but it was an all clean club.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
And if you cuss in the contract, you getting get paid.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Oh yeah, there's a lot of clubs like that, this
club that you won't get paid if you go over.
There's clubs that will penalize you buy dollar if you
go over. So like if you go over, like let's.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
Let's say you have one course world, they'll take ten
dollars from your check.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Or if you do, you know what I mean, take
out ten dollars per word. You know, you come out,
stay and you done nine cuss.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
Words, you just lost ninety dollars, you know, click astray, Like,
what the hell I never heard?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
I mean I know that, you know if you go over,
but I'm not penalized like where your money and stuff
like that.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Oh oh, a lot of them are penalize you for
going over time. They'll penalize you for your money for
going on test, especially the concerts when we're doing the
places of two, three.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Four thousand, because they have a hard out. Wow.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
So if they're hard out it's ten o'clock, that means
everybody gotta be out that building at ten o'clock or
they're gonna bet charged another twenty five hundred dollars or
another five thousand dollars.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
So they have a heart out.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
So if you decide to stretch your set, you're suppot
to be doing ten minutes, you end up doing thirty.
Now they're gonna penalize you big because if they don't
get out in time, it's twenty five hundred coming out
of day pocket. So they do that with that kind
of thing. But when you're when you're working at the level.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Of working at that kind of shit is not available.
Anybody will ever do a shit like that.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Everybody ever say to me, we're gonna cut you off
because we're gonna we're gonna change your money. They're not
gonna do any of that with me. Otherwise they can't
have me. I'm not doing that, you know. But if
you as you become seasoned and they respect you, they
know that you're not.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Going to hurt the crowd.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
And at the end of the day, no one wants
you to hurt the crowd because that crowd is their
bread and butter.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
That's where their money is.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
So be kind, rewind, Okay, I'm let the young lady
tell us first where they can find her.
Speaker 5 (25:22):
It's a stray of black.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Oh my gosh, she's a fabuist comedian. But she's also
so smart, so clever, and so smooth.
Speaker 5 (25:28):
Stray tell people how they can find you. Monday through Friday.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
They can find me on the Michael Call Your Morning Show,
the best TV.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Show on the Internet. Right now, Come on to somebody.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
And you can find me over here on iHeart with
Michael talks to Everybody, and you can find me on cash,
aff Zel, food Stamp, PayPal.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
You can find me on all of them. Yeah, yay.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
And she's very very funny Josiah be Jon't somebody they
find you. They can find me on Instagram, on Facebook
at comedian Josiah or just go to my website Josiah
Bjones dot com. That's Josiah Bjones dot com. And that's
what we're doing. We're just trying to We do three
(26:13):
things when I do my comedy, I make them laugh,
I make them listen, and I share the love of
God every thirty seconds of my set, so I don't
get off stage after they laugh. I tell them God
loves them and ain't nothing they can do about it.
So that's my that's my method of operation, and that's
my gift to the world, to share God's love with
an unconmissioned way, with not Bible banging them, without being fanatical.
(26:34):
We're just letting my life shine and preadventure. Somebody asks
what must they do to be saved? And I can
tell them believe God.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
That's me wow.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
And I love that the way you present it, the
way you give it to them. And you know, it's
an audience for everything. You know, there's an audience that
needs the joke to be crisp and clean and no caffeine.
There's an audience that want somebody to call them motherfucker
a motherfucker, you know. So you just pay attention to
which club you're going to so you don't get surprised,
so you get the thing you want.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Because sometimes I break hearts. People come to mind show.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Thinking is clean because I don't do a lot of
cussing on these other forums, but on stage, I'll be
cousin and.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Shit, if we didn't know, we didn't know you did
a cussing, you know. All right, Look we out of time.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Y'all can find me right here three days a week
every Monday, Window Friday. We got brand new shaw. I've
do one hundred and fifty three so far. Please check
them out. Michael talks to everybody. We always talked to Earthquake, Jlinda,
Adam t I, he O Harper, we talked to everybody.
Speaker 5 (27:34):
We talk about everything. So y'all just keep on visiting
us here.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
And also you can find me on my Michael Kye
Morning Show five days a week on YouTube. And it
was good trailers there. Katie Funny af is there. It's
just wonderful, just like y'all. So have a super calor
Friday x me at Adocious Day that no one's still
your rainbow. Remember, life is a garden if you dig it.
And if y'all got a problem, or if you got
(27:57):
a question, go ahead and write me. Comic King one
two three at aol dot com.
Speaker 5 (28:03):
See you later, Bye woo. I had a good time today.
I hope y'all did too.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Man, Thank y'all for checking us out here at Michael
talks to everybody. Hey, you can follow me, man, I'm
easy to follow. I'm on Instagram just under at Michael Kaya.
I'm on TikTok. That's Michael Kye one three five. I
have a very sexety web page called the Realmichael Kaye
dot com. You know, you go over there you can
find out a buy my merchandise and what I'm doing
and where all my shows, our airthing is right there.
(28:34):
Or if you really love me, you can go to
my cash shapp that's dollar sign Michael Kaya's money. I'm
playing with y'all, but I accept Green Stem Foods Canadian money.
I'll take your bus transfer if it's got some time
left on it. And my morning show, oh my goodness,
the Michael Kye Morning Show. That's seven a m. Pacific time, yo,
five days a week. This has been a ray Lock
(28:54):
Group production.
Speaker 5 (28:56):
I see y'all later.
H y'all ready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Welcome missus. Michael called this world, started doing Venice Peach.
Now he reached in the world. He'll make you left.
Take the stomach car superfly, nice guy. I'm praid if
you need to work at the trust. Kidding now he's
ready for the star searching winner and oh g three times.
This ain't gonna beginning whether you win, y'all house, you
want your brother's a dinner on your job and your brother.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I mean, it's a call.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Michael Taus said.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Everybody I call Yes, Michael Taus had everybody I call, Yes, Michael.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Taus say everybody you know what they need shine.
Speaker 5 (00:36):
I called Michael fuck to everybody I call. Michael talks
to everybody. Michael to say my body.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
Everybody.
Speaker 5 (00:44):
Everybody call Hello, everybody, How y'all doing today?
Speaker 3 (00:53):
I hope you are super calor listic ext old shift.
I love comedy, I mean, I just love all kinds
of comedy.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
I like clean comedy.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I like dirty comedy too, you know, I like when
it's christ and clean and no caffeine. You know, just
like my church joke, the lady came home early from
church and some guy was.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
Burglar in the house.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
So she shouts out, halt acts two thirty eight, you know,
repenting the name of me, and the lady just froke
and no, the guy froze.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
The lady walks over to the phone, pick phone, call
the police.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Twenty minutes later, police get there, the guy is still
froze in the same position. So the police handcuffing walking
to the car and the police said, now, how you
let that lady stop you back shouting?
Speaker 5 (01:36):
Not a scripture, she said, scriptures a scripture?
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I thought she said she had an axe and two
thirty eighths.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
That to me, that's Christian comedy.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
That's not just clean, but it's church and vow So
I'm not sure what it is. But in my midst,
I have two In my midst, I have two great comedians, well,
one comedian and one comedy. And the comedy and the Lovely,
the Wonderful, the Awesome, Stray of Blackstray of Black, Welcome Today.
(02:07):
And this guy is a clean master when it comes
to this comedy. Man, I keep telling people you can
hit him in the head with two bayo and he
ain't gonna cuss. He's a great commedity. My nephew and
I ain't just saying this because he's my nephew. I'm
saying I love him because he's awesome and all that
he does, he always keeps God first. Josiah B Joes
(02:28):
in the house, So listen, Josiah Jones. He really specializing
in churches and things like, not just Church of Chicken.
Speaker 5 (02:35):
That's why I do my set, but in real churches.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
He go around the country and pack him out and
he could be funny forty minutes without.
Speaker 5 (02:42):
Cussing at all.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
And because he goes and does so many churches, I
just call him a Christian comedian.
Speaker 5 (02:49):
And you're just in time, Josiah to define the difference.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
What's the difference between a clean comedian and a Christian
commedy or is there a difference?
Speaker 5 (02:58):
I'm glad you asked that one.
Speaker 3 (03:00):
I oftentimes tell people that I am not a Christian comedian.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
I am a comedian that's a Christian.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
And so what.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Happens is my comedy connotations or my explanations. My content
is always in line with the context of our relationship
with God. So there are certain things that I don't say.
I don't have any Jesus donkey jokes. I don't have
no disciple jokes, but I do do my jokes in
a way in which be its family friendly and not
(03:31):
an offense to anyone. Because I don't live in offensive lifestyle,
So why should I do comedy that I can't live
off stage?
Speaker 5 (03:38):
Wow? Wow? So but what's clean comedy opposed to Christian?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Now, Christian comedy has, like you said, like, let's say
a joke I was gonna work out, but the Bible
says the wicked runner when no man chases.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Okay, that's Bible, and it's tied into a joke.
Speaker 5 (03:58):
It's so literally being.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
The tire set is Bible deria, Bible derivative. Everything is
coming out of the Bible. And so that's Christian comedy.
You take all your jokes and material are.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
Coming straight out of the room from the Good Book.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
So just just telling the joke with Christ in it
is not enough to make a Christian joke. Now you
have some people that do blasphemic jokes of Christ, and
where they may let me do this joke blasphemic.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Writing that down, I don't know what that is.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
I mean blast for blasphemy fun of Christ. Oh, I
gotta do a blast phemic one too. But I'm not
making fun of Christ, don't. I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Okay, but first let me get I'll get this joke,
and you tell me if it's a Christian joker.
Speaker 5 (04:44):
Okay. So one day, uh Jesus.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Christ and Saint Peter walk around the clouds, you know,
they're trying to figure out something to do their little
bored you know, Jesus looking down on Earth and he
sees some people playing golf.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
You know, Arnold Palmer. You remember, the great Arnold Palmer.
He was a great, great golfer, you know. But but
this Tiger Woods he saw.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
But he saw Arnold Palmer down there, man, and I
mean Arnold Palmer was killing the game.
Speaker 5 (05:08):
Man. He was hitting birdie, birdie, par Park, you name it.
He swapping out of there right.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
So after they watched a little bit, Jesus said to
Saint Peter, yo, Pete, you know, cause they're on first names.
He said, Yo, Pete, why don't we go down on
earth and get in the sun. And so Pete like, yo,
Jesus with you on that. But what you want to
get into, he said, they're playing golf. Let's let's let's
get out of shot. So Peter said, you know cool,
So they come down on earth. Is Jesus, Saint Peter?
You know they brought a couple of caddies. Okay, Saint
(05:34):
Peter go first, right, he hits the ball. What ball
goes three hundred yards in a row?
Speaker 5 (05:41):
Okay, Jesus come up. He hit the ball. Ball goes
four hundred yards and a.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Dove grabs it, starts flying a fancy can.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
A lightning bolt hits the dove. The dove dropped the ball.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
A rabbit grabs the ball, start running, trips over stone,
the ball flat.
Speaker 5 (05:57):
Through the air, laying in the hole hole of one.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Say turn to Jesus said, look, we're gonna play golf
for a funk around?
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Now? Is that a Christian Christian jokes? Know what? If
I said we're gonna fool around, it could be a
Christian joke or still not.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
It had a lot of undertones in it because people
think because they put Jesus name in in the.
Speaker 5 (06:19):
Saint Peter like, oh yeah, we got it. It's good.
I'm gonna give you another example, but but can you
give me another example? Finish on that? Is that not Christian?
Christian or not?
Speaker 3 (06:29):
It's clean it's clean or not, or if you take
the app out is clean, but it's not Christians, All right,
go ahead, what were you gonna say that? So it's
like you look at it where most Christian comedians make
fun of church stuff. Most clean comedians make fun of life.
Are observational comedy.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
It's their life. It's them.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Christian comedians do the Bible. They make fun of the Bible,
the Church and everything is about. Like an example, it
was three It was three ladies that went to heaven
and they had it want to rule Uncle Michael. They
had one room strayler. The rule was don't step on
any ducks. The first lady got to heaven, she stepped
on a duck, so they changed her to an ugly
(07:11):
man and said, you got to live the rest of
your life with this ugly man. Second late stepped on
a duck. They said you got to live the rest
of your life. Changed to another ugly man. So next
thing you know, the third lady lived with not stepping
on one duck, and they changed her next to the
most gorgeous man she ever saw.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
And she said, yes, I made it. And she asked
the man.
Speaker 5 (07:37):
She says, I was so good.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
I didn't step on any ducks.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
He says, well, I don't know what you did, but
I stepped on a lot of ducks and look where
it got me.
Speaker 5 (07:50):
Oh my god. Okay, okay, all right, all right this one, hey, folks,
have you with us? Right here? It is Michael talks
to everybody.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
To them, I'm talking to a couple of comedians because
we're trying to get to the bottom of this whole thing.
Christian comedy as opposed to clean comedy.
Speaker 5 (08:03):
Can you tell me if this is one?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Okay, So this guy, you know, he's driving down the street.
He truck driver, got eighteen wheeler, and he gives Jesus
a lift. Now understand, he didn't know stifle Jesus.
Speaker 5 (08:15):
You know, Jesus.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
He just saw this hippie looking dude stand alongside the road.
He had a blanket around tied with a rope for
a belt. He had this long after you know, long
hair thing going on, the little beerd and stuff, and
you know, and and so the driver seen homeless people before,
he just figures another home to do.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
He give him a lift.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
So Jesus getting the truck, they drive him and a
guy off of Jesus a cheeseberg.
Speaker 5 (08:37):
Jesu said, yeah, I take that cheap berg.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
The drive a little further. Truck drivers said, look, I'll
get two Coca colas.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
I can't drink about one. Jes said, Man, don't give
me a cocoa.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
So when you get through eating, truck driver turned to
Jesus said, look, pop up in that glood. Jesus, pop
up with the look upon it, right, big old blunt
there with a lighter. So truck drivers said, man, don't
don't fight a up.
Speaker 5 (08:58):
Jesus like, now, I'm good. I'm good. Like man up,
you know, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
He don't want to be inhospitable right, So he found
the joint, take a long hit, he blows it out.
He turns to the truck driver. He said, you know,
I probably should tell you I'm Jesus Christ. Truck driver said,
(09:25):
good ship. Huh. She thought it wasn't Jesus, just some
dude thinking Jesus, that's a funny joke.
Speaker 5 (09:38):
I know. It ain't no Christian joke.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
It's wonderful. That's that's that's one of the wonderful blasphemy.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Oh my god, that one's blasphemy. Yes, you made Jesus
smoke a blood. It's blasphemous for Jesus will smoke weed.
They smoked weed during his time. Come on, it's in
the Bible.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It didn't say it in here.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
It doesn't say in the Bible that they that they
arteth take on and on the smokabolel.
Speaker 5 (10:03):
No, No, they just drunk wine. Oh, they just drank wine.
But you're on a joint. Would have really went good
with a glass wine. Everybody. Everybody know that. Now, Okay, okay,
I ever mean the blasphemous.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
I love God and I certainly love Jesus, so I
don't mean to be blasphemous.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
I'm just wow. I know you said I can't tell
that joke the moment.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Since you point out that this blasphemous, it's a good joke.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
It is.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
But I mean, if you can say it in that
context to where you know it's blasphemous, it's like you
did it to make laughter.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Out of it.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Some people do it to intentionally blasphe me.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
What on atheists. Oh my baby back, Missta.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
I've done clean comedy at a nursing home before. I
haven't done Christian comedy. I've done clean comedy, but I
admire any body that can do clean comedy. I admire
Joe Siyah so much, and not just he's funny, but
to be able. You know, he's positive on and off
(11:10):
the stage. But for him to you know, conflict that
with comedy is just so amazing to me because I'm
so fucked up.
Speaker 5 (11:17):
I cussed in every fucking thing.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
I mean not not like you know, all the time,
but I definitely cuss when I'm on stage. I definitely do.
I think it makes me more funnier. Now, can I
polish it up? Yes, absolutely, if the check for the check.
But you know, right now, you know with me, this
(11:40):
all being kind of still new, not that new, but
still being new. I just think it's something that I
want to work at.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
But I'm comfortable with person on stage.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
So again, I admire people like you.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
To Australian, I.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Have a red.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
I don't know if it's a Christian joke, it's more
there's more religious. I guess it's more of a religious
joke than just a Christian. No, it's just not a
Christian joke. It's just it's just a spiritual joke. Okay,
all right, So this guy dies.
Speaker 5 (12:10):
And goes to heaven.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
So the guy who's you know, the guy who gives
the escorts the tours there, and he said, come on
with me. So they walk a little bit and he say,
those guys over there, those are the Christians.
Speaker 5 (12:23):
They said, look over there, those the Hebrews. Look over there,
those are the Muslims. And the guy said, well, why
do you keep whispering? He said, cause they all think
they're the only ones here. Come on, is that brilliant?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Come on now.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
And guess who told it?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
My minister Michael Beck with out a guy paying internet center.
Speaker 5 (12:48):
That takes us to our commercial break. We'll be right black.
Speaker 3 (12:52):
Hey, Michael talks to everybody today. I he with Josiah B.
Jones and Stray of Black and they are funny.
Speaker 5 (12:58):
See you manut and we're back. Okay, okay, man, we'd
be talking to everybody on this show. Man.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I just love it that we also talk about whatever
we want to talk about.
Speaker 5 (13:17):
In today's topic, what the hell is Christian comedy?
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I've been telling jokes that I thought was Christian, but
they weren't even because there'd be a couple of elements
in there that eliminates the.
Speaker 5 (13:28):
Christian part of it. So tell me a really good,
clean joke that's not Christian.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
I got one for you, a good joke that's not Christian.
My mom's wife, my dad's missing. And so what it
does is I make the audience think so now in
their mind they don't know whether the national I never
tell the nationality of my father. I just go ahead
and bring nuances up and I stretch it to just
(13:54):
let them know. And I bring my father in at
the end of for the punchline, for the whole thing.
Speaker 5 (14:00):
Now, I just focus on.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Having a white mom, but I don't bring my daddy
into the end. And so I basically I said, I
look at this like I tell the story about my daughter.
She says, Daddy, where does babies come from? I said,
I'm glad you asked. As a man of God, I
can tell you exactly where babies come from. I said,
God and Daddy helped mommy make you. And the words
of my car very good, very good.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Very good, very good.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
She says, are you saying that God need a man
to make a baby? I said absolutely. She said, until
you got thrown baby said, she ain't got no man.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
That's clean. Okay, all right, that's clean. Okay, what about
what about this? What about this? Do you tell me?
What is this? Christian is just clean? What is it?
So this? Okay? First of all, people say, you're not
supposed to say handicap jokes. It's wrong.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
It's wrong to say jokes, especially if you're not a handicapped.
But I asked this lady in the wheelchait the.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Other day and I says, it's true. The handicap people
don't like jokes.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
And she said, look, we like everybody else, you tell
that damn joke.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
So here it is. Okay.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
This guy wanted a job, but he didn't have no arms.
Responsible brother, responsible brother, So he decided to.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Look for a job.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
You know. So Sunday morning he went down and get
the Sunday paper. You know, he took his face, he
flipped the pages. Okay, sorry, anyway, he finds his job saying,
they want to hire somebody at the.
Speaker 5 (15:28):
Church to ring the bell on Sunday. Okay, So he
go down.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
To the church, right, he go down to church, see
the minister. He says, give me, father, reverend, minister past left,
I like to have that job ring the bell at
the church on Sunday.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
And the father said but by my son, you have
no arms. He said, look to ring the bell. Could
I have a job? Repent? Yeah, man, you ring the bell,
you can have a job. Okay.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
So the guy go up to the steeple right, he's
lying himself up on the bell the night line. He
runs his fancy camp, slams his face into the bell,
big ma bell ring like mo fuck. They give him
the job.
Speaker 5 (16:09):
Man, He happy man every week like clockwork.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Sunday morning, he kept up in the morning throwing his suit.
You know, took the sleeves in the pocket. Wait anyway,
he throws his suit on, right, and.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
He go down to the church. He go up to
the steeple, line himself up on the bell.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Run fast camp, slam his face to the bell, bing
man ban ban bean bell ringing.
Speaker 5 (16:28):
He making money, he's stacking paper. He feeling good about hisself. Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
So one Saturday he decided to go out and celebrate.
Then a little dancing, they little.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
Drinking, then little eating, then a little drinking, then a
little drinking, then a little drinking. He was fucked up.
He I mean, he was ripped. But he still went
to work the next day with the hangover.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
Responsible brother, straight, responsible brother. So he gets up, put
on a suit, you know, touch the sleeves. He go
up to the to the to the steeple. He lined
himself up, little tipsy line runs his fancy can miss
the bell throughout the window, hit the ground.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
Fucker's dead. Now everybody's gathering around, and the police is there, and.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
They say, does anybody notice men? Anybody recognize them? And
one lady come up and she said, well, you know,
his face does can't ring a bell. You could do
that joke without profanity, but even without profanity still wouldn't
pass as a Christian joke. With it, it actually passed
because you can do it in church. There's four derivatives
(17:33):
of clean comedy. There's church clean comedy. Church clean comedy
is that you can listen. You can do it with children,
grandmas and mothers in the room.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Where it's it's not offensive to religion.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Now there's club clean comedy, club king comedy. You can
say damn in hell, you can get away with those.
You can say those, that's that's club clean. Then you
have for the knack of the National Association of Colleges.
You can't say you can't say we, you can't say six,
you can't say crack, you.
Speaker 5 (18:05):
Can't allude to anything, you can't say ray.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
It literally has to be so clean that literally professors
and students could come watch you and that's like, that's
that's basically PG and no one will be offended and
talk about who come, Nobody would be offended.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
I I don't know how I could do that comedy.
And the last thing is kids comedy.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
That's more physical because kids, kids ages five to twelve
not listening to what you're saying.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
They looking at what you're doing. It's kid comedy. It's
PG G.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
Ray and it's a lot of movement, a lot of color,
you know, more than a word, because they don't care
what you're saying. They just want to be like ju
Now go on Venice Beach. The kids love me, so
the crowd will be there. I can look at all
the children. The children were the ones most fascinated with
me because my show is physical.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
So I'm all over the place.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
You know, I got a flash while I'm jumping out
from yelling people, from running, I'm doing all this stuff.
As the kids like didn't know what's going on with
they excited because there's an action going on. Okay, what's
a truly clean joke that's not Christians just a clean joke.
Speaker 5 (19:12):
A good joke would be.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
Here. I got one, his one, his one. He was
talking to Zebra, rapping, wrapping Zebra. Finally Zebra says, hey,
what do you want?
Speaker 5 (19:25):
Horse? He said, you know what I want?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Baby, Now get over here and take off them pajamas clean.
Speaker 5 (19:34):
Here's another.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
What did what did the what did the street light
say to the other street light?
Speaker 5 (19:40):
What don't watch me change? But sheet saying to the left,
but chet, if we stick together, I think we can
hold this ship down.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Now, this nasty, but it was so good, It was
so good.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I got one.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I got one that I can say in the club
that I can't say in the church.
Speaker 5 (20:11):
It ain't a cussoing one. You can't.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
I can't say this in the church trail, but I
can say it in the club.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
One day the devil caught Jesus on the phone and
he said, phone rung. He said, he says, all right, Heaven,
And so his receptionist was like, I need to speak
to Jesus.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
They said, all right, hold on my moment.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
So all of a sudden the receptions came back. The
devil said you know what, I gotta go for five minutes.
The devil left for five minutes, then come back. They said,
you called Jesus. How you gonna put Jesus on hold?
He came back, he said, can you go eat Jesus?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I need them.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
It's a real emergency. They says, okay, be going to
get Jesus. The devil left the phone for thirty whole
minute trail.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Next thing you know, the devil got back and was like, Jesus,
I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
He said, what do you mean?
Speaker 5 (21:00):
You said, them niggas don't put the fire out, But
you can't tell that the church.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
No, I can't tell the church, but I can say
what part of that is not The nigga does not
make it good? Oh, but you could say it without nigga, yep,
And then could you say.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
It in church? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I can say those dang because I gotta.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Say you say, you can say ninjas them ninjas didn't
put out the fire because it wouldn't be in the
wording as much as the actual delivery tone. You know,
I need to go exactly what did the pillows say
when it fell off the be.
Speaker 5 (21:40):
She so that's just clean. I guess that wouldn't fall
into Christian that would just be clear.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
So I love all comedy. I like blue comedy, Ryan comedy.
I love clean comedy. Well clean comedy could be funny.
It's a brilliant thing. And I love Christian comedy. I
just don't always know what it is. We did that show,
Uncle Michael, Me and Uncle Michael did two shows out
of church and knocked them out in Texas.
Speaker 5 (22:10):
Turned it out. I said, blue comedy blue is dirty.
So if you if you call it.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
Blue, yeah, I ain't talking about cussin and grabbing your
dick and all that kind of stuff, which is.
Speaker 5 (22:17):
The fabulous thing which can't do it the church.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
And the reason they called it blue comedy Stred is
because back in the days with Johnny Carson, they would
have a blue card and this they were writing down
the things you couldn't say on it, and so whatever
it's on that list, then you couldn't say it. And
there were like some words back then that was considered
it was like seven words that was considered blue, but
(22:41):
they wrote them down.
Speaker 5 (22:42):
I just learned. But who said those seven words? I believe?
Was it? George George Carlin.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
George Carlin did an album with the seven words you
can't use.
Speaker 5 (22:51):
He said every one of them in his album, every
one of them. He used all of them.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
That ship so like crazy because it was different from
me anything anybody else is doing. Man, that's deep. But nowadays,
as we were talking before, like.
Speaker 6 (23:06):
Sometimes when you're getting these like television shows or network whatever,
it's like the money is connected to you not be
using gratitous language or profanity.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
And so sometimes that check, the check will determine. They'll
say you can't say this and that, and if you do,
then you don't get the check.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
It it was.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
A clean club Uncle Michael in Ohio called I forget
the name of it, but it was an all clean club.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
And if you cuss in the contract, you getting get paid.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Oh yeah, there's a lot of clubs like that, this
club that you won't get paid if you go over.
There's clubs that will penalize you buy dollar if you
go over. So like if you go over, like let's.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
Let's say you have one course world, they'll take ten
dollars from your check.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Or if you do, you know what I mean, take
out ten dollars per word. You know, you come out,
stay and you done nine cuss.
Speaker 5 (24:01):
Words, you just lost ninety dollars, you know, click astray, Like,
what the hell I never heard?
Speaker 4 (24:09):
I mean I know that, you know if you go over,
but I'm not penalized like where your money and stuff
like that.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Oh oh, a lot of them are penalize you for
going over time. They'll penalize you for your money for
going on test, especially the concerts when we're doing the
places of two, three.
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Four thousand, because they have a hard out. Wow.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
So if they're hard out it's ten o'clock, that means
everybody gotta be out that building at ten o'clock or
they're gonna bet charged another twenty five hundred dollars or
another five thousand dollars.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
So they have a heart out.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
So if you decide to stretch your set, you're suppot
to be doing ten minutes, you end up doing thirty.
Now they're gonna penalize you big because if they don't
get out in time, it's twenty five hundred coming out
of day pocket. So they do that with that kind
of thing. But when you're when you're working at the level.
Speaker 5 (24:52):
Of working at that kind of shit is not available.
Anybody will ever do a shit like that.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
Everybody ever say to me, we're gonna cut you off
because we're gonna we're gonna change your money. They're not
gonna do any of that with me. Otherwise they can't
have me. I'm not doing that, you know. But if
you as you become seasoned and they respect you, they
know that you're not.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Going to hurt the crowd.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
And at the end of the day, no one wants
you to hurt the crowd because that crowd is their
bread and butter.
Speaker 5 (25:15):
That's where their money is.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
So be kind, rewind, Okay, I'm let the young lady
tell us first where they can find her.
Speaker 5 (25:22):
It's a stray of black.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Oh my gosh, she's a fabuist comedian. But she's also
so smart, so clever, and so smooth.
Speaker 5 (25:28):
Stray tell people how they can find you. Monday through Friday.
Speaker 4 (25:32):
They can find me on the Michael Call Your Morning Show,
the best TV.
Speaker 5 (25:35):
Show on the Internet. Right now, Come on to somebody.
Speaker 4 (25:38):
And you can find me over here on iHeart with
Michael talks to Everybody, and you can find me on cash,
aff Zel, food Stamp, PayPal.
Speaker 5 (25:48):
You can find me on all of them. Yeah, yay.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
And she's very very funny Josiah be Jon't somebody they
find you. They can find me on Instagram, on Facebook
at comedian Josiah or just go to my website Josiah
Bjones dot com. That's Josiah Bjones dot com. And that's
what we're doing. We're just trying to We do three
(26:13):
things when I do my comedy, I make them laugh,
I make them listen, and I share the love of
God every thirty seconds of my set, so I don't
get off stage after they laugh. I tell them God
loves them and ain't nothing they can do about it.
So that's my that's my method of operation, and that's
my gift to the world, to share God's love with
an unconmissioned way, with not Bible banging them, without being fanatical.
(26:34):
We're just letting my life shine and preadventure. Somebody asks
what must they do to be saved? And I can
tell them believe God.
Speaker 5 (26:40):
That's me wow.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
And I love that the way you present it, the
way you give it to them. And you know, it's
an audience for everything. You know, there's an audience that
needs the joke to be crisp and clean and no caffeine.
There's an audience that want somebody to call them motherfucker
a motherfucker, you know. So you just pay attention to
which club you're going to so you don't get surprised,
so you get the thing you want.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
Because sometimes I break hearts. People come to mind show.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
Thinking is clean because I don't do a lot of
cussing on these other forums, but on stage, I'll be
cousin and.
Speaker 5 (27:13):
Shit, if we didn't know, we didn't know you did
a cussing, you know. All right, Look we out of time.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Y'all can find me right here three days a week
every Monday, Window Friday. We got brand new shaw. I've
do one hundred and fifty three so far. Please check
them out. Michael talks to everybody. We always talked to Earthquake, Jlinda,
Adam t I, he O Harper, we talked to everybody.
Speaker 5 (27:34):
We talk about everything. So y'all just keep on visiting
us here.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
And also you can find me on my Michael Kye
Morning Show five days a week on YouTube. And it
was good trailers there. Katie Funny af is there. It's
just wonderful, just like y'all. So have a super calor
Friday x me at Adocious Day that no one's still
your rainbow. Remember, life is a garden if you dig it.
And if y'all got a problem, or if you got
(27:57):
a question, go ahead and write me. Comic King one
two three at aol dot com.
Speaker 5 (28:03):
See you later, Bye woo. I had a good time today.
I hope y'all did too.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Man, Thank y'all for checking us out here at Michael
talks to everybody. Hey, you can follow me, man, I'm
easy to follow. I'm on Instagram just under at Michael Kaya.
I'm on TikTok. That's Michael Kye one three five. I
have a very sexety web page called the Realmichael Kaye
dot com. You know, you go over there you can
find out a buy my merchandise and what I'm doing
and where all my shows, our airthing is right there.
(28:34):
Or if you really love me, you can go to
my cash shapp that's dollar sign Michael Kaya's money. I'm
playing with y'all, but I accept Green Stem Foods Canadian money.
I'll take your bus transfer if it's got some time
left on it. And my morning show, oh my goodness,
the Michael Kye Morning Show. That's seven a m. Pacific time, yo,
five days a week. This has been a ray Lock
(28:54):
Group production.
Speaker 5 (28:56):
I see y'all later.
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