July 28, 2021 • 29 mins
Minnie questions actor, comedian, and podcaster Anna Faris. Anna shares how her personality was shaped by growing up in Seattle, the painful story of how one of her closest friendships fell apart, and Minnie and Anna trade stories of being recognized... incorrectly.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Do you think I'm too old to play Annie? I?
I do. Won't you be my Miss Hannigan though? You know,
because by the way, we're at the perfect age to
play Miss Hannigan and I'm older than you. I'll tell
you what man up? Play Daddy Warbox? Yeah, I will
(00:22):
do that. Now you're not you can forever be Annie.
I come see that, I come see that like every night. Hello,
I'm Mini driver and welcome to many questions. I've always
loved pruce questionnaire. It was originally an eighteenth century parlor
game meant to reveal an individual's true nature. But with
so many questions, there wasn't really an opportunity to expand
(00:45):
on anything. So I took the format of Pruce's questionnaire
and adapted What I think are seven of the most
important questions you could ever ask someone. They are when
and where were you happiest? What is the quality you
least about yourself? What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love
for you? What question would you most like answered, What person, place,
(01:11):
or experience has shaped you the most? What would be
your last meal? And can you tell me something in
your life that has grown out of a personal disaster?
The more people we ask, the more we begin to
see what makes us similar and what makes us individual.
I've gathered a group of really remarkable people who I
(01:33):
am honored and humbled to have had a chance to
engage with. My guest today is actress and podcaster Anna Faris.
Anna is a very curious creature. I was recently the
guest on her podcast Unqualified, and the questions she asked
me were not only far reaching and interesting, they gently
(01:54):
asked for real interrogation of my experience having a second
chapter to a conversation. By inviting her onto this podcast
was an absolute treat, as her answers have the same
depth as her questions, which always makes for a lively
and memorable chat. What is the quality you like least
(02:18):
about yourself? I think that I can be neglectful towards
my relationships, specifically my friendships, and that also ties in
with my laziness. I have developed a reputation for being
very phone inattentive, so people don't really reach out to
(02:40):
me so much anymore. It's my friend Amanda's birthday today.
She was one of my very first friends that I
made in Los Angeles and she is great with birthdays.
Which is always thoughtful, always sending cards, always thinking about me,
and I haven't done anything for her birthday. Yeah, I'm
embarrassed and lazy about it. Do you mean that you
(03:04):
are bad about maintaining friendships because work and that programming
of ambition which you sort of have to have if
you're an actress an actor? Is that what got on
the way of it? Perhaps? But I was. I've always
been a person with few friends me too. I believe
that about you, Minnie. Yeah, really, really, Johnny, no friends,
I mean really, maybe like six friends. I believe that
(03:27):
because I believe that you're an intimate person and will
not to say that people with tons of friends aren't
intimate people. That's rude, incorrect. You are quite right, But
it does feel like I'm not great at the day
to day attentiveness. I never was, and I feel like
there is maybe more pressure on our gender to be
(03:49):
better at those things. Thank you notes, birthday cards, just
being thoughtful. I think about myself a lot, Minnie. You
think about yourself being an asshole. You're not. You're not.
You're so attentive and sort of involved and engaged with people,
but then they think goodbye, goodbye and meeting for all. Yes, please,
(04:14):
it's funny. I think that massive expansion that fame like
if fame is like a bomb going off, and there's
that extraordinary pressure that is released. In order to kind
of cope with the fallout after it and the sheer
kind of mass of energy, one becomes inattentive to other things,
things that are other than the maintenance of that energy.
(04:35):
In a way, I found it impossible in my twenties
to maintain friendships because I was so busy working and
sort of prostrating myself at the altar of fame and
ambition and loving working so much and loving that experience.
As I got a bit older, I became more attentive
to less friendships. And don't you find the would age
(04:56):
your feelings get hurt so much less? Yeah? Yes, yes,
laugh of an enormous amount do, But that's good. The
other day, we were in Hawaii. My parents invested in
a time share there about twenty years ago. On the
way to the airport, I was talking with the cab
(05:20):
driver about lava and he was giving me a great
lecture on different forms of lava and what its uses are,
and so I was, you know, gaining a new appreciation
for rock and and then at the end of the
trip he said, this is such a weird humble brag,
I suppose, but he said, you know, you're pretty funny
(05:41):
in person too, which I was delighted by. But I
also had not made the assumption that he had recognized me.
And I think that I go through even with this
shockingly bleached blonde hair, I move about life without that assumption.
And it took me aback a little bit, and I
(06:04):
was a little bit to disappoint. It sounds drastic, but um,
you were bum You weren't just having a regular conversation
about love that it might have been fueled by his
shit I'm having it. I'm having a conversation with aunt
affairs a little bit. Or maybe it was that because
I felt like I was being kind of funny and witty,
(06:25):
and everybody in the car was exhausted and silent, and
so I was just kind of hamming it up with
the taxi driver, and I felt anonymous, I guess, and
liberated in that if he had mentioned that before, I
probably would have been pretty quiet. Maybe I don't know.
(06:46):
Sometimes I lean into it and ham it up more.
But it's also a relief, I think because there was
a time in my twenties when it felt electric to
be recognized and I did you know, I went through
those phases of wondering if I would get a good
table or what you know what I mean, like just
(07:07):
if somehow people would be you know, breathless. It's oh god,
there she is, scary, scary movie, There she is, Tana.
I think I've shed a little bit of that with age,
which is nice, or at least just what it occupied
(07:27):
in my mind. Then it's funny. It's just funny about
wanting to escape the thing which you was so exciting
and that you wanted to foster. Like I loved it
when people recognize me when I was younger, and now
I sort of hope that they don't. Usually it's because
you're in your pajamas browing milk. I was at the
Beverly Center probably when I was twenty three, and I
(07:49):
was wearing white, low slung jeans. I was probably wearing
a G string. Maybe probably not because I'm verified of
bump flows. Yeah I don't. I don't need to be
reminded all the time that I have a crot. But
(08:09):
this man came up to me and he said are
you who I think you are? And I was coy
because I was so excited, and I said, uh, god,
you know, I don't know, like who do you? Who
do you think I am? And he said, no, you're not.
And so we did that for a second, which was stupid,
and he was like, I don't know if you are
(08:29):
and I said, I'm the girl from Scary Movie and
he said, ah funk, I thought you were Britney Spears,
which was a huge compliment. Oh my god. It was
a complicated moment just in general. Wait, did I tell
you about Did I tell you about Stevie Wonder? No.
(08:50):
I was at the Grove, like I don't know, fifteen
years ago, and I just come from a photo shoot
and I did have big hair and I was still
in sort of like heels, and I walked by Stevie
Wonder and his security guarden his girlfriend and I walked
by them and then I I just stopped and I
was like, there was Stevie Wonder, maybe only like two
other people who have meant as much musically. I have
(09:11):
to go back and say hello. I just have to.
So I went back and I did the completely embarrassing
thing of saying hello and the whole thing and you know,
I love you and in a vision has changed my
life and I love you and you're amazing and I
love you, and he was he was so he was like,
that's great, that's great. And he was like, and what's
your name? And his girlfriend went, oh, Stevie, it's Mariah
(09:33):
Carey and I went, no, no, no, no, it isn't.
I was so mortified, and I was so embarrassed in
the girl. The girl really confused and I was like,
I'm I'm British. It was honestly, it was one of
those moments where you hope that someone might recognize who
(09:55):
you are, but you also hope that they might not
think that you're Mariah Carey, because I carry that could
be only one, you know. Okay, So what person, place,
(10:15):
or experience has most altered your life? I thought about
this question, and I think the best, the largest idea
I could come up with is my parents decision to
move to Seattle when I was six years old. I
was born in Baltimore. My dad was a professor at
Housing State University of Sociology, and both my parents grew
(10:38):
up in Washington State, and my parents insistence on Raisin
Us in Washington gave me the theater culture that I
grew up with. It was also a really fascinating time
in Seattle too, even though I was definitely observing it
from a distance. But it was a time of economic depression,
(11:01):
and so it gave birth to grunge and in the
nineties I wish it could I could legitimize that more
and not use the word angst. But did it give
you something to push up against? Like watching you know,
this sort of musical movement happened and it was clearly
a super vibe place, and there were other people who
(11:22):
were reacting to it, all those musicians, all those bands.
Was that the general feeling that you feel was good.
It fed into something in my personality that felt very resistant,
that felt very angry. I can't remember if I told
you this. I was very angry that I was born
a woman. Were you not that I was born a woman?
(11:44):
But I was. I had just really absorbed the inequality.
I have an older brother who I love him dearly,
but growing up we did not get along. He was
big and popular and like physically big, and we were
completely opposite and we just fought all the time. And
(12:07):
I just felt that injustice of being a woman, and
at that time too, being in Seattle, where there was
like it felt like it could be nurtured easily. That
just unchangeable frustration of circumstance in life, and that felt good,
(12:29):
Um to feed that. Do you think that it's creative
to feel that like that, that feeling, that conflict, feeling
that that is actually super creative that when you feel
a bit uncomfortable, it forces you to reimagine and to
keep imagining and to create. Definitely, I wrote a lot more,
and I had an odd sense of style. I wore
(12:50):
a lot of black, I wore big boots. I went
through this period freshman year where it was the first
time I felt attractive in my life, and I would
wear these tiny little skirts just barely covering my ass
and like thy high stockings, and it was like I
(13:11):
was truly experimenting. Yet I was terrified of men. I
was so terrified of the boys. It was like I
was I got to experiment playing various characters during that
time as well. I remember my brother ran into me
on campus. I was like smoking, I was wearing this
really promiscuous outfit, and he was just shocked and I
(13:34):
was so embarrassed. I think that's part of the right
of passage of women, is that we were so unsure
of how sexuality is meant to be metabolized because we're
told that it is to be metabolized by a man.
So are you supposed to dress for them to attract
them or you to dress for you to feel that
so you you become more confident in whatever it is.
(13:56):
I've always been confused, but I think that it is
someone part of a woman trying to figure out who
she is is the way that she dresses when she's young,
and her relationship with the world. I e. Men, but many,
and I felt so hungry for it. I was so
hungry in high school. I had a couple of stunning
(14:17):
friends and I just yearned. I wanted to be that, so,
I mean, who doesn't. So getting a little bit of
attention in college made me feel like it made me
feel irrationally angry because it felt like, fuck you, where
have you been? Which is nonsense. But I think I
(14:44):
was hungry for glances and attention from men. And I
would go to fraternity parties and I would pretend that
I was fifteen because my theory was these guys would
still try to sleep with me. Like I I was
very confused. I was mad, and I wanted them to
(15:05):
prove me right. Isn't that odd? Oh god, yeah, it's awful.
It's like the gauntlet, the gauntlet that young women run,
or feel that they're expected to run in order to
figure out this thing that sort of biased against them fundamentally,
which is judgment, judgment of the way that you look,
(15:26):
judgment of how in quotes hot you are. My mom
tried to protect me from it. She tried to. She
never let me look at women's magazines. I wasn't allowed
to like watch MTV or she has the whole diet
tribe about pretty woman and grief for that matter. Um,
(15:50):
she really hated it if they and detained for the man. Yeah,
I mean, I gotta say. I mean I liked her
curly hair and wearing the leather at it, but it
did bother me. I was like it did. I liked
her skirts more than hers brion pants. But I think
my mom's insistence that I not be boy crazy just
(16:12):
made it worse. Oh yeah, it's so weird. You see,
even with direction, even when you have your mother giving
you that direction, you still and saying this, really, this
is not a good idea, that what is this compulsion
that we have. It's almost like it comes in fully
formed that we have to go and garner that attention
(16:33):
and that somehow qualifies us. You can't just gently explore it.
I remember being so willing to be like, oh, change, yes,
so you'll fancy me absolutely, What would you like me
to do? Shave my head? You know what will it be, sir?
I don't know. It's it's terrible. I mean, I'm very
happy that we're still here, because I mean, when we
talk about it, it's like, Jesus Christ, how did you
(16:55):
say childhood? So where and when were you happiest? Mini?
All right, if I were ten years old, I would
tell you that I would be so euphoric galloping on
(17:17):
a horse, like through the fields of Wyoming. Even though
I'm not a horsewoman. I know how to write a
pony that feeling of like childhood euphoria, where happiness and
sadness are at such extremities in your life. As I
(17:38):
was thinking about this question, I was thinking, do we
get those highs anymore? I didn't grow up very wealthy
at all, but my parents prioritized traveling specifically to Italy
as we got older, and we would all pile into
a minivan with suitcases on our laps, six of us usually.
(17:59):
And there's a restaurant on the Amalfi coast called Da
Teresa and it's a little family place and it's right
on the beach and you walk down like four hundred
stairs to get there in the heat, and they serve
you like peach wine and this shaliaatelli, this hand rolled
(18:21):
pasta with these cherry tomatoes and these little dime sized
sweet clams. And being there with my family and my
fiance we were able to go there a couple of
years ago, is kind of the most perfect afternoon being
with people that you love in a place that's so
(18:44):
astoundingly beautiful, eating food that's made with love. I'm so
glad that I have those memories, and I'm really grateful
that I was able to experience. I hope that I'll
be able to experience that lunch again at Datosa. That
makes for a pretty perfect moment. I love that, I
(19:06):
mean I love I love the Amalficas. It was the
cheapest holiday that you could get, was just going to
Europe from England. When I was a kid. I have
a restaurant like that on the Amalfikas La Scolia, which
is again it's just right on the water, and we
would usually get a little put put boat and either
come up to the jetty or you just dive in
(19:26):
and swim up the beach and then go into the restaurant.
And they grow everything up on the hillside behind the restaurant,
so the white anchovies that you eat that have just
come out of the sea, with the warm tomatoes that
they've just harvested. I had an Italian woman tell me
that the tomatoes taste so good in Italy because it
(19:46):
is the continent where Jesus built his blood. This has
never left me, Mini, and I had to pass it
on to you now, so do with it what you
will do, you know, I think that's a very interesting
reason for the tomatoes tasting good. I like that because,
funny enough, we would go and we would end up
in this little tiny town called Ravello, which is up
(20:09):
above Positano, and we'd stay in this tiny bed and breakfast.
And when I was about sixteen, I went out with
this guy who was so cute, and he told me
he was a barrista, and my mom was asking me, like,
who was the guy? And I was like, he's a barrister,
which in England you know, means a lawyer, like a litigator.
(20:30):
She was like, no, he's fucking not. He makes coffee,
you idiots. And I was like it doesn't know anyway,
I didn't mind that he in your life. Can you
(21:05):
tell me about something that has grown out of a
personal disaster. I have two big incidences. The first one
was I was in a relationship well let me, I'll
put it okay, during my first divorce to the last
(21:26):
chapter carry on. During my first of us, I found
out something that I had suspected, which was my dear friend,
My dear, dear, dear friend had slept with my husband.
Oh god, and I had suspected it and then it
(21:48):
was confirmed. And I loved this woman so intensely. I
wonder if that's why you you know, you're neglectful of relationships,
Perhaps because it's like, look what happens when you're well.
This is something I'm kind of proud of though, because
what happened was for four years, I imagined running into
(22:12):
her in Los Angeles, and I imagined what it would
be like I imagine just getting into her face. I
imagined just I would fantasize about it, you know. And
I didn't run into her years past, which was surprising
because you know, we live alone but not far from
each other. We're both actors. But I would miss her
(22:33):
like I would ask people, like, what do you think?
What does it mean that I missed her so much?
Like my heart? It kind of aches in a way
that it didn't at all for my ex That's hilarious,
that's amazing. And I was on a flight with my son,
who was ten months old at the time, to London,
(22:57):
and I had our nanny with us. We decided to
exit the plane after everybody else because this kid, you know,
all this stuff, and I'm leaving the flight with a
whole of my ship and I hear Anna and I
turned around and coming up the other aisle was my
(23:20):
friend and I just dropped my stuff. I burst into tears.
We like collapsed into each other's arms. The flight attendants
must have been just totally freaked out. We held each
other as we walked to baggage claim. My nanny was like,
(23:44):
row boy, what's happening? And now we're dear friends. It
felt so good. It felt so good. She was. She
was just like, I'm so sorry, and I said, I
just missed you so and it felt so good. And
I'm proud that my first reaction my gut wasn't like
(24:08):
fuck you, you know it was it was so it
felt very honest, and I'm I'm I'm proud of myself
for prioritizing what I really felt, which was that I
missed her. It's so commendable. I mean, it's really extraordinary.
It's really extraordinary to still be friends with the person
that was instrumental in part of the ending of a marriage.
(24:31):
Because maybe it's not the whole story, but like it's
a pretty huge thing. It's a huge betrayal of a friendship.
But then to be able to go beyond that and
into the friendship is actually stronger and needs to survive
more than the betrayal does. That's that's a beautiful evolution.
If I may. The other moment that I thought about
what this question was, my son was born early. He
(24:55):
was born ten weeks early. And I'm really well, I
don't know if I'm proud, but I was able to
be very present and focused in the moment my mind
didn't leap too far into tragedy, into whatever. You know.
(25:17):
I was able to absorb information that was scary and
process it and continue to march forward and be there
at the nick you with my son in that position
that one just doesn't imagine, you know. So I think
(25:38):
that knowing that I could do that, I think was affirming. Yeah,
oh my god, especially at that time, in that moment
when you're flooded with expectation and then there's a different
set of circumstances that you're faced with in this you know,
the anticipated most joyful moment of your life is then
kind of co opted by serious medical concerns. Yeah. I remember,
(26:02):
because it was my first pregnancy, my first baby. I
remember having a couple of moments of envy and a
couple of moments of why me. But I'm really proud
that there were only a couple of them, you know.
I'm really proud that I was able to like no, no, no,
like this, Well, here's what we do. How old is
(26:25):
he now? He's eight, he's about to turn nine. I
can't believe he's great. He's just a confident gem. He's
so confident it's wild. Yeah, these kids are I mean
I think they're just kids who are very different to
when I was young. They feel like they're more confident
(26:46):
and they're way more knowledgeable about like what's up in
the world. Oh completely, I am such a luddite, and
I think I'm both a willing and unwilling luddite. I
think because I got scary movie right after college, I
didn't have to learn how to use anything. So yeah,
(27:07):
so I'm in trouble when it comes to him being
a teenager with technology. Well, maybe he'll teach you. My
son is very patient and sweetly patronizing. I can't wait
to meet your son, Minie. He's like, Okay, now, what's
your password? Have you written it down? Have you written
it down somewhere mom? Yet in my notes? Okay, we
might want to have a hard copy as well as
(27:28):
a digital copy because sometimes you delete shit. Okay, all right,
thanks Dad. It's so funny, it really is, And I
think there's something so sweet, like he loves teaching me,
and sometimes I pretend not to know stuff so that
he can tell me. Oh that's really sweet. I mean
it's a bit manipulative, but I really like watching him
(27:49):
figure out stuff and tell me about it. Oh, love.
I can't wait. I can't wait to see. I don't
know whenever that will be, but I hope that it's
I hope that it's soon. Earnie. Thank you, Minnie, I
just love you. Recent guests on Anna's podcast Unqualified include
me Hassan Minaj, Bob Odenkirk, and Glennon Doyle. Mini Questions
(28:17):
is hosted and written by me Mini Driver, supervising producer
Aaron Kaufman, Producer Morgan Lavoy, Research assistant Marissa Brown. Original
music Sorry Baby by Minni Driver, Additional music by Aaron Kaufman.
Executive produced by me Mini Driver. Special thanks to Jim Nikolay,
(28:42):
Will Pearson, Addison No Day, Lisa Castella and a Nick
Oppenheim at w kPr, de La Pescador, Kate Driver and
Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech support, Henry Driver
Do you think I'm too old to play Annie? I?
I do. Won't you be my Miss Hannigan though? You know,
because by the way, we're at the perfect age to
play Miss Hannigan and I'm older than you. I'll tell
you what man up? Play Daddy Warbox? Yeah, I will
(00:22):
do that. Now you're not you can forever be Annie.
I come see that, I come see that like every night. Hello,
I'm Mini driver and welcome to many questions. I've always
loved pruce questionnaire. It was originally an eighteenth century parlor
game meant to reveal an individual's true nature. But with
so many questions, there wasn't really an opportunity to expand
(00:45):
on anything. So I took the format of Pruce's questionnaire
and adapted What I think are seven of the most
important questions you could ever ask someone. They are when
and where were you happiest? What is the quality you
least about yourself? What relationship, real or fictionalized, defines love
for you? What question would you most like answered, What person, place,
(01:11):
or experience has shaped you the most? What would be
your last meal? And can you tell me something in
your life that has grown out of a personal disaster?
The more people we ask, the more we begin to
see what makes us similar and what makes us individual.
I've gathered a group of really remarkable people who I
(01:33):
am honored and humbled to have had a chance to
engage with. My guest today is actress and podcaster Anna Faris.
Anna is a very curious creature. I was recently the
guest on her podcast Unqualified, and the questions she asked
me were not only far reaching and interesting, they gently
(01:54):
asked for real interrogation of my experience having a second
chapter to a conversation. By inviting her onto this podcast
was an absolute treat, as her answers have the same
depth as her questions, which always makes for a lively
and memorable chat. What is the quality you like least
(02:18):
about yourself? I think that I can be neglectful towards
my relationships, specifically my friendships, and that also ties in
with my laziness. I have developed a reputation for being
very phone inattentive, so people don't really reach out to
(02:40):
me so much anymore. It's my friend Amanda's birthday today.
She was one of my very first friends that I
made in Los Angeles and she is great with birthdays.
Which is always thoughtful, always sending cards, always thinking about me,
and I haven't done anything for her birthday. Yeah, I'm
embarrassed and lazy about it. Do you mean that you
(03:04):
are bad about maintaining friendships because work and that programming
of ambition which you sort of have to have if
you're an actress an actor? Is that what got on
the way of it? Perhaps? But I was. I've always
been a person with few friends me too. I believe
that about you, Minnie. Yeah, really, really, Johnny, no friends,
I mean really, maybe like six friends. I believe that
(03:27):
because I believe that you're an intimate person and will
not to say that people with tons of friends aren't
intimate people. That's rude, incorrect. You are quite right, But
it does feel like I'm not great at the day
to day attentiveness. I never was, and I feel like
there is maybe more pressure on our gender to be
(03:49):
better at those things. Thank you notes, birthday cards, just
being thoughtful. I think about myself a lot, Minnie. You
think about yourself being an asshole. You're not. You're not.
You're so attentive and sort of involved and engaged with people,
but then they think goodbye, goodbye and meeting for all. Yes, please,
(04:14):
it's funny. I think that massive expansion that fame like
if fame is like a bomb going off, and there's
that extraordinary pressure that is released. In order to kind
of cope with the fallout after it and the sheer
kind of mass of energy, one becomes inattentive to other things,
things that are other than the maintenance of that energy.
(04:35):
In a way, I found it impossible in my twenties
to maintain friendships because I was so busy working and
sort of prostrating myself at the altar of fame and
ambition and loving working so much and loving that experience.
As I got a bit older, I became more attentive
to less friendships. And don't you find the would age
(04:56):
your feelings get hurt so much less? Yeah? Yes, yes,
laugh of an enormous amount do, But that's good. The
other day, we were in Hawaii. My parents invested in
a time share there about twenty years ago. On the
way to the airport, I was talking with the cab
(05:20):
driver about lava and he was giving me a great
lecture on different forms of lava and what its uses are,
and so I was, you know, gaining a new appreciation
for rock and and then at the end of the
trip he said, this is such a weird humble brag,
I suppose, but he said, you know, you're pretty funny
(05:41):
in person too, which I was delighted by. But I
also had not made the assumption that he had recognized me.
And I think that I go through even with this
shockingly bleached blonde hair, I move about life without that assumption.
And it took me aback a little bit, and I
(06:04):
was a little bit to disappoint. It sounds drastic, but um,
you were bum You weren't just having a regular conversation
about love that it might have been fueled by his
shit I'm having it. I'm having a conversation with aunt
affairs a little bit. Or maybe it was that because
I felt like I was being kind of funny and witty,
(06:25):
and everybody in the car was exhausted and silent, and
so I was just kind of hamming it up with
the taxi driver, and I felt anonymous, I guess, and
liberated in that if he had mentioned that before, I
probably would have been pretty quiet. Maybe I don't know.
(06:46):
Sometimes I lean into it and ham it up more.
But it's also a relief, I think because there was
a time in my twenties when it felt electric to
be recognized and I did you know, I went through
those phases of wondering if I would get a good
table or what you know what I mean, like just
(07:07):
if somehow people would be you know, breathless. It's oh god,
there she is, scary, scary movie, There she is, Tana.
I think I've shed a little bit of that with age,
which is nice, or at least just what it occupied
(07:27):
in my mind. Then it's funny. It's just funny about
wanting to escape the thing which you was so exciting
and that you wanted to foster. Like I loved it
when people recognize me when I was younger, and now
I sort of hope that they don't. Usually it's because
you're in your pajamas browing milk. I was at the
Beverly Center probably when I was twenty three, and I
(07:49):
was wearing white, low slung jeans. I was probably wearing
a G string. Maybe probably not because I'm verified of
bump flows. Yeah I don't. I don't need to be
reminded all the time that I have a crot. But
(08:09):
this man came up to me and he said are
you who I think you are? And I was coy
because I was so excited, and I said, uh, god,
you know, I don't know, like who do you? Who
do you think I am? And he said, no, you're not.
And so we did that for a second, which was stupid,
and he was like, I don't know if you are
(08:29):
and I said, I'm the girl from Scary Movie and
he said, ah funk, I thought you were Britney Spears,
which was a huge compliment. Oh my god. It was
a complicated moment just in general. Wait, did I tell
you about Did I tell you about Stevie Wonder? No.
(08:50):
I was at the Grove, like I don't know, fifteen
years ago, and I just come from a photo shoot
and I did have big hair and I was still
in sort of like heels, and I walked by Stevie
Wonder and his security guarden his girlfriend and I walked
by them and then I I just stopped and I
was like, there was Stevie Wonder, maybe only like two
other people who have meant as much musically. I have
(09:11):
to go back and say hello. I just have to.
So I went back and I did the completely embarrassing
thing of saying hello and the whole thing and you know,
I love you and in a vision has changed my
life and I love you and you're amazing and I
love you, and he was he was so he was like,
that's great, that's great. And he was like, and what's
your name? And his girlfriend went, oh, Stevie, it's Mariah
(09:33):
Carey and I went, no, no, no, no, it isn't.
I was so mortified, and I was so embarrassed in
the girl. The girl really confused and I was like,
I'm I'm British. It was honestly, it was one of
those moments where you hope that someone might recognize who
(09:55):
you are, but you also hope that they might not
think that you're Mariah Carey, because I carry that could
be only one, you know. Okay, So what person, place,
(10:15):
or experience has most altered your life? I thought about
this question, and I think the best, the largest idea
I could come up with is my parents decision to
move to Seattle when I was six years old. I
was born in Baltimore. My dad was a professor at
Housing State University of Sociology, and both my parents grew
(10:38):
up in Washington State, and my parents insistence on Raisin
Us in Washington gave me the theater culture that I
grew up with. It was also a really fascinating time
in Seattle too, even though I was definitely observing it
from a distance. But it was a time of economic depression,
(11:01):
and so it gave birth to grunge and in the
nineties I wish it could I could legitimize that more
and not use the word angst. But did it give
you something to push up against? Like watching you know,
this sort of musical movement happened and it was clearly
a super vibe place, and there were other people who
(11:22):
were reacting to it, all those musicians, all those bands.
Was that the general feeling that you feel was good.
It fed into something in my personality that felt very resistant,
that felt very angry. I can't remember if I told
you this. I was very angry that I was born
a woman. Were you not that I was born a woman?
(11:44):
But I was. I had just really absorbed the inequality.
I have an older brother who I love him dearly,
but growing up we did not get along. He was
big and popular and like physically big, and we were
completely opposite and we just fought all the time. And
(12:07):
I just felt that injustice of being a woman, and
at that time too, being in Seattle, where there was
like it felt like it could be nurtured easily. That
just unchangeable frustration of circumstance in life, and that felt good,
(12:29):
Um to feed that. Do you think that it's creative
to feel that like that, that feeling, that conflict, feeling
that that is actually super creative that when you feel
a bit uncomfortable, it forces you to reimagine and to
keep imagining and to create. Definitely, I wrote a lot more,
and I had an odd sense of style. I wore
(12:50):
a lot of black, I wore big boots. I went
through this period freshman year where it was the first
time I felt attractive in my life, and I would
wear these tiny little skirts just barely covering my ass
and like thy high stockings, and it was like I
(13:11):
was truly experimenting. Yet I was terrified of men. I
was so terrified of the boys. It was like I
was I got to experiment playing various characters during that
time as well. I remember my brother ran into me
on campus. I was like smoking, I was wearing this
really promiscuous outfit, and he was just shocked and I
(13:34):
was so embarrassed. I think that's part of the right
of passage of women, is that we were so unsure
of how sexuality is meant to be metabolized because we're
told that it is to be metabolized by a man.
So are you supposed to dress for them to attract
them or you to dress for you to feel that
so you you become more confident in whatever it is.
(13:56):
I've always been confused, but I think that it is
someone part of a woman trying to figure out who
she is is the way that she dresses when she's young,
and her relationship with the world. I e. Men, but many,
and I felt so hungry for it. I was so
hungry in high school. I had a couple of stunning
(14:17):
friends and I just yearned. I wanted to be that, so,
I mean, who doesn't. So getting a little bit of
attention in college made me feel like it made me
feel irrationally angry because it felt like, fuck you, where
have you been? Which is nonsense. But I think I
(14:44):
was hungry for glances and attention from men. And I
would go to fraternity parties and I would pretend that
I was fifteen because my theory was these guys would
still try to sleep with me. Like I I was
very confused. I was mad, and I wanted them to
(15:05):
prove me right. Isn't that odd? Oh god, yeah, it's awful.
It's like the gauntlet, the gauntlet that young women run,
or feel that they're expected to run in order to
figure out this thing that sort of biased against them fundamentally,
which is judgment, judgment of the way that you look,
(15:26):
judgment of how in quotes hot you are. My mom
tried to protect me from it. She tried to. She
never let me look at women's magazines. I wasn't allowed
to like watch MTV or she has the whole diet
tribe about pretty woman and grief for that matter. Um,
(15:50):
she really hated it if they and detained for the man. Yeah,
I mean, I gotta say. I mean I liked her
curly hair and wearing the leather at it, but it
did bother me. I was like it did. I liked
her skirts more than hers brion pants. But I think
my mom's insistence that I not be boy crazy just
(16:12):
made it worse. Oh yeah, it's so weird. You see,
even with direction, even when you have your mother giving
you that direction, you still and saying this, really, this
is not a good idea, that what is this compulsion
that we have. It's almost like it comes in fully
formed that we have to go and garner that attention
(16:33):
and that somehow qualifies us. You can't just gently explore it.
I remember being so willing to be like, oh, change, yes,
so you'll fancy me absolutely, What would you like me
to do? Shave my head? You know what will it be, sir?
I don't know. It's it's terrible. I mean, I'm very
happy that we're still here, because I mean, when we
talk about it, it's like, Jesus Christ, how did you
(16:55):
say childhood? So where and when were you happiest? Mini?
All right, if I were ten years old, I would
tell you that I would be so euphoric galloping on
(17:17):
a horse, like through the fields of Wyoming. Even though
I'm not a horsewoman. I know how to write a
pony that feeling of like childhood euphoria, where happiness and
sadness are at such extremities in your life. As I
(17:38):
was thinking about this question, I was thinking, do we
get those highs anymore? I didn't grow up very wealthy
at all, but my parents prioritized traveling specifically to Italy
as we got older, and we would all pile into
a minivan with suitcases on our laps, six of us usually.
(17:59):
And there's a restaurant on the Amalfi coast called Da
Teresa and it's a little family place and it's right
on the beach and you walk down like four hundred
stairs to get there in the heat, and they serve
you like peach wine and this shaliaatelli, this hand rolled
(18:21):
pasta with these cherry tomatoes and these little dime sized
sweet clams. And being there with my family and my
fiance we were able to go there a couple of
years ago, is kind of the most perfect afternoon being
with people that you love in a place that's so
(18:44):
astoundingly beautiful, eating food that's made with love. I'm so
glad that I have those memories, and I'm really grateful
that I was able to experience. I hope that I'll
be able to experience that lunch again at Datosa. That
makes for a pretty perfect moment. I love that, I
(19:06):
mean I love I love the Amalficas. It was the
cheapest holiday that you could get, was just going to
Europe from England. When I was a kid. I have
a restaurant like that on the Amalfikas La Scolia, which
is again it's just right on the water, and we
would usually get a little put put boat and either
come up to the jetty or you just dive in
(19:26):
and swim up the beach and then go into the restaurant.
And they grow everything up on the hillside behind the restaurant,
so the white anchovies that you eat that have just
come out of the sea, with the warm tomatoes that
they've just harvested. I had an Italian woman tell me
that the tomatoes taste so good in Italy because it
(19:46):
is the continent where Jesus built his blood. This has
never left me, Mini, and I had to pass it
on to you now, so do with it what you
will do, you know, I think that's a very interesting
reason for the tomatoes tasting good. I like that because,
funny enough, we would go and we would end up
in this little tiny town called Ravello, which is up
(20:09):
above Positano, and we'd stay in this tiny bed and breakfast.
And when I was about sixteen, I went out with
this guy who was so cute, and he told me
he was a barrista, and my mom was asking me, like,
who was the guy? And I was like, he's a barrister,
which in England you know, means a lawyer, like a litigator.
(20:30):
She was like, no, he's fucking not. He makes coffee,
you idiots. And I was like it doesn't know anyway,
I didn't mind that he in your life. Can you
(21:05):
tell me about something that has grown out of a
personal disaster. I have two big incidences. The first one
was I was in a relationship well let me, I'll
put it okay, during my first divorce to the last
(21:26):
chapter carry on. During my first of us, I found
out something that I had suspected, which was my dear friend,
My dear, dear, dear friend had slept with my husband.
Oh god, and I had suspected it and then it
(21:48):
was confirmed. And I loved this woman so intensely. I
wonder if that's why you you know, you're neglectful of relationships,
Perhaps because it's like, look what happens when you're well.
This is something I'm kind of proud of though, because
what happened was for four years, I imagined running into
(22:12):
her in Los Angeles, and I imagined what it would
be like I imagine just getting into her face. I
imagined just I would fantasize about it, you know. And
I didn't run into her years past, which was surprising
because you know, we live alone but not far from
each other. We're both actors. But I would miss her
(22:33):
like I would ask people, like, what do you think?
What does it mean that I missed her so much?
Like my heart? It kind of aches in a way
that it didn't at all for my ex That's hilarious,
that's amazing. And I was on a flight with my son,
who was ten months old at the time, to London,
(22:57):
and I had our nanny with us. We decided to
exit the plane after everybody else because this kid, you know,
all this stuff, and I'm leaving the flight with a
whole of my ship and I hear Anna and I
turned around and coming up the other aisle was my
(23:20):
friend and I just dropped my stuff. I burst into tears.
We like collapsed into each other's arms. The flight attendants
must have been just totally freaked out. We held each
other as we walked to baggage claim. My nanny was like,
(23:44):
row boy, what's happening? And now we're dear friends. It
felt so good. It felt so good. She was. She
was just like, I'm so sorry, and I said, I
just missed you so and it felt so good. And
I'm proud that my first reaction my gut wasn't like
(24:08):
fuck you, you know it was it was so it
felt very honest, and I'm I'm I'm proud of myself
for prioritizing what I really felt, which was that I
missed her. It's so commendable. I mean, it's really extraordinary.
It's really extraordinary to still be friends with the person
that was instrumental in part of the ending of a marriage.
(24:31):
Because maybe it's not the whole story, but like it's
a pretty huge thing. It's a huge betrayal of a friendship.
But then to be able to go beyond that and
into the friendship is actually stronger and needs to survive
more than the betrayal does. That's that's a beautiful evolution.
If I may. The other moment that I thought about
what this question was, my son was born early. He
(24:55):
was born ten weeks early. And I'm really well, I
don't know if I'm proud, but I was able to
be very present and focused in the moment my mind
didn't leap too far into tragedy, into whatever. You know.
(25:17):
I was able to absorb information that was scary and
process it and continue to march forward and be there
at the nick you with my son in that position
that one just doesn't imagine, you know. So I think
(25:38):
that knowing that I could do that, I think was affirming. Yeah,
oh my god, especially at that time, in that moment
when you're flooded with expectation and then there's a different
set of circumstances that you're faced with in this you know,
the anticipated most joyful moment of your life is then
kind of co opted by serious medical concerns. Yeah. I remember,
(26:02):
because it was my first pregnancy, my first baby. I
remember having a couple of moments of envy and a
couple of moments of why me. But I'm really proud
that there were only a couple of them, you know.
I'm really proud that I was able to like no, no, no,
like this, Well, here's what we do. How old is
(26:25):
he now? He's eight, he's about to turn nine. I
can't believe he's great. He's just a confident gem. He's
so confident it's wild. Yeah, these kids are I mean
I think they're just kids who are very different to
when I was young. They feel like they're more confident
(26:46):
and they're way more knowledgeable about like what's up in
the world. Oh completely, I am such a luddite, and
I think I'm both a willing and unwilling luddite. I
think because I got scary movie right after college, I
didn't have to learn how to use anything. So yeah,
(27:07):
so I'm in trouble when it comes to him being
a teenager with technology. Well, maybe he'll teach you. My
son is very patient and sweetly patronizing. I can't wait
to meet your son, Minie. He's like, Okay, now, what's
your password? Have you written it down? Have you written
it down somewhere mom? Yet in my notes? Okay, we
might want to have a hard copy as well as
(27:28):
a digital copy because sometimes you delete shit. Okay, all right,
thanks Dad. It's so funny, it really is, And I
think there's something so sweet, like he loves teaching me,
and sometimes I pretend not to know stuff so that
he can tell me. Oh that's really sweet. I mean
it's a bit manipulative, but I really like watching him
(27:49):
figure out stuff and tell me about it. Oh, love.
I can't wait. I can't wait to see. I don't
know whenever that will be, but I hope that it's
I hope that it's soon. Earnie. Thank you, Minnie, I
just love you. Recent guests on Anna's podcast Unqualified include
me Hassan Minaj, Bob Odenkirk, and Glennon Doyle. Mini Questions
(28:17):
is hosted and written by me Mini Driver, supervising producer
Aaron Kaufman, Producer Morgan Lavoy, Research assistant Marissa Brown. Original
music Sorry Baby by Minni Driver, Additional music by Aaron Kaufman.
Executive produced by me Mini Driver. Special thanks to Jim Nikolay,
(28:42):
Will Pearson, Addison No Day, Lisa Castella and a Nick
Oppenheim at w kPr, de La Pescador, Kate Driver and
Jason Weinberg, and for constantly solicited tech support, Henry Driver
Host
Minnie Driver
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.