February 5, 2025 • 29 mins
Minnie questions Delaney Rowe, comedian, writer, and social media star. Delaney shares stories from her days as a private chef, the key to being in a relationship with a performer, and why jazz hands are a secret message to her friends.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You'll know because you're the bellwether of cultural zegeist. What
is it called when you know guys want that kind
of the perfect it's the perfect, like descriptor of the girlfriend,
Manic Pixy dream girl. That's exactly right. Did you see
how quickly she knew what I was talking about? You
see how she speaks youth. She speaks youth. That's my
(00:21):
bread and butter. Well, Manic Pixie dream girl, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's me.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well, I think I was just manic. I was just
fan of Hello, I'm mini driver. I've always loved Proust's questionnaire.
It was originally in nineteenth century parlor game where players
would ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
The other player's true nature.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
In asking different people the same set of questions, you
can make observations about which truths appear to be universal.
And it made me wonder, what if these questions were
just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be
revealed if I asked these questions as conversation stuff. So
I adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven
questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
They are When and where were you happiest? What is
the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real
or fictionalized, defines.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Love for you?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
What question would you most like answered? What person, place,
or experience has shaped you the most? What would be
your last meal? And can you tell me something in
your life that's grown out of a personal disaster? And
I've gathered a group.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and
humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You
may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions.
We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to
their experience, or the most surprising.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Or created the most fertile ground to connect.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
My guest today is writer and comedian Delaney Rowe. She
has millions and millions of followers on Instagram and TikTok,
But I hesitate to use the term social media personality
because to me as a descriptor, it lacks the depth
of interest that Delaney possesses. Now, this could just be
me forcing narratives into concepts, I understand, But she makes
(02:16):
what are essentially short films on Instagram and TikTok. Her
most famous creation being a character called insufferable female lead
of an indie movie. Now, perhaps I love this character
so much because I have been that character, But mostly
I think it's because it is so well observed, so
brilliantly executed, and that Delaney possesses that rare quality of beauty, wit,
(02:40):
and timing. I always love asking these questions of mine
to younger people, largely because they offer such a different
and unique perspective. At the risk of standing even more patronizing,
I just couldn't be more interested to see how Delaney
evolves and grows as an artist and continues to shape
this particular core of our culture, because she is clever
(03:03):
and observant and really cool. What person, place, or experience
most altered your life?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Okay? I used to be a private chef like before
what I do now, and that was a crazy time
in my life because it was the thing that allowed
me to realize I can do very difficult things. I
can access a stamina in myself that I didn't know
(03:32):
that I had, maybe growing up and then being in
a highly pressorized situation like being a private chef for
like big clients who are expecting so much from you.
You can't fuck up like you just and if you
do fuck up, you just have to get right back
on track and figure it out and you enter this
flow state and it's incredible. And it was also at
(03:53):
a time where like everyone my age was not doing
anything like that. Everyone was like a hostess or like
a nanny or like working for their dads blah blah
blah blah. And like I was like, I am hitting
the streets every day. I didn't know how to drive.
I still don't know how to drive. I would walk
to the market with a wagon at six am and
(04:15):
like fill it with food for like these football players
and then go off and work from like seven am
to like eight pm at night. And I was like,
nobody can do what I'm doing like that I know
right now. And I was not a professional. I was
like learning on the job. And it gave me a
tremendous amount of self esteem because it was like I
(04:40):
can do hard things. And it was this kind of
turning point where I was like I might not be
a little bitch, like I can be out here in
the world really working hard. And it made me really
happy and really confident.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Wow, I think that's such a good point about learning
how to do hard things. I think that's like that.
I talk about that a lot with my son. That
part of my job is to teach him how to
do that. But I think figuring out for yourself just
by actually doing it is even more impassibl Yeah, how
would you get to the venue? How would you do? Uber?
Speaker 2 (05:12):
When you were go it was wagon to the grocery store,
fill the wagon and then lift the wagon into the
back of a black suv like Uber black suv.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Oh my god. It was like I was ripped, Manny.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I had these insane biceps from just you know, and
like you know, they're athletes, so it's like you're carrying.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Like boxes of booze in.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It was just and I was like this kind of
like tiny twenty two year old, and I was like,
I don't ever have to work out. I just have
to do this job forever. You're on your feet your Wow. Fuck,
it's big, like in a good way, like Mustella, like
it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I was like, I was ripped.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I miss it.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
My god, how amazing, So which leads very nicely then
into what would I can't wait to hear this? What
would be your last?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
It's going to be a little disappointing. I think it
always is. My favorite food in the world is just
white rice, and I love it with just some sort
of like fat.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
My choice is butter, So like white.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Rice with a ton of butter, and then I would
put two over easy eggs on that, and I have
that most days for breakfast. So I like that my
last meal is something that I kind of have every day.
Like that's how much I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
That's very comforting. But I also like that. I like
that you have it for breakfast and that's how you
would go out, and it was my last meal.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Two bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes one
hundred percent Magenta Capri cigarettes. Yeah, two bottles of orange
wine and a pack cigarettes one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I love the drinking natural wine and smoking a pack
of ye way out. Now, have you just developed a
real taste for orange wine?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, I'm like that. I'm into that shit. I'm into
that world all of a sudden. And I actually got
into the world because when I was cheffing, I had
this massive budget to spend on wine every day. And
athletes they're not drinking a ton of wine. Most of
them weren't anyway, like it was more like Don Julio
nineteen forty two, Like that was kind of there. But
(07:13):
you know, I had all this extra budget for wine,
so I would buy the wine anyway and.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Then I would drink it, and then I would drink it. Yeah,
that's right, I was doing.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I'm a hero, Okay, I'm a hero. I would also
get like a book about wine, and then I'd be
reading a book about wine as I would wait for
them to come home and in between lunch and dinner service,
and I'm like, try and love it a loine and
have it a great time.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Is wine you'r thing? Is wine what you love? Yeah,
it's a big deal. Yeah yeah, yeah, wine. Wine is
a really big deal.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I have wine fridges in both my apartments because of that.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It's a big deal for me.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I'm not taking cocktails off the table though, Like of course,
I love a martini as much as the next broad So,
like gin is also big for me.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I like monkey forty seven gin.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You know this?
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Do I know? That? Chin Chin Chin? For me is
just it's just the taste of hopelessness, cleaning supplies. I
get that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I do get that. What is your drink? Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Tequila on the Rocks. I just love a good episode.
But I love beer, Okay, cool girl of beer. I
also love cheap beer, no way, man, by the way.
That's honestly. It was because you get these weird YenS,
like when you get pregnant and stuff, and one of them.
I'd never really been a beer drinker before, and then
I had this yen that never went away since I
(08:32):
had my son, and I just I fucking love them hops.
That is great, that's sexy. I love that you're saying
that it's sexy and it's cool on Never in a
million years though sexy. It's little maintenance. She's like down.
I love that. Yeah, cheap beer and expensive tequila. I
(08:53):
can't believe you're a chef. There's so much more that
I want to ask you about that. Wait, did you
just chef for athletes? Was that?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Fol It was mostly athletes and then it was some
other actors and like people like that as well.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But did you stop doing that to do what you're
doing now or did you do them in like concurrently?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah? I was doing at the end there, I was
doing it concurrently and it was so embarrassing. I'd be
like in the kitchen making like gaspacho and I would
like hear my voice on their phone, like I would
come up on their TikTok and I was like, that's
not me, that's a look alike. And then I had
a job and naturally, and then in that gap between
finding a new driver, I was like, what if I
(09:31):
just don't find a new job and see what happens
with this internet stuff?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And then blah and beholt I'm on Mini Drivers podcast. Dude,
would to be able to like, it's so impressive to
be able to convert what's funny and interesting and that
you have a facility for into actually being able to
live off. Like that's quite something, Like it really is,
Like I think it's such an extraordinary bit of alchemy
to ever be able to take your interest that's outside
(09:57):
of what you've been previously doing, particularly and make a
living out of there. Fuck yeah, it's amazing, just amazing.
You do it too, find what you love and get
someone to pay you to do it. So what quality
(10:21):
do you like? Least about yourself?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Easy? I can be so self centered and single minded.
I was having a discussion with someone last night who
was talking about a very specific experience to them, and
I went no, that can't be right, and he goes, no, no, no,
(10:45):
Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not
true for me, And I was like, aha, yes, you're
probably right about that. So a lot of that goes
on with me, a lot of if I haven't felt it,
how could it possibly be going on? And so trying
to step outside my own experience is really like what
I've been working on in the twilight of my twenties.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Here, how do you do that? Do you do that
by listening and going I'm just going to let this
like talk and I'm not going to comment on what
he's saying, even if I don't agree with it, Like
how do you practice it?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
How I practice it is by allowing myself to be
incorrect a lot like looking for reasons that evidence in
my mind for whatever I'm thinking, like the contrary evidence
of that, where I'm like, okay, now look for examples
in the world where what you're so sure of is
not true and you can always find it.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
So I try to do that.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I try to prove myself wrong a lot because I
actually really want to be wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
It makes me feel hopeful. I love it. You must
love getting pulled over by the cops. Well, thank you
for setting right. I needed to feel wrong and now
I do. Maybe that's my king being wrong sounds like
it either way. That's so hilarious. It's like being cool
breaking an entering, right, I'm just doing this is like right,
this is my I'm trying to better myself. Yeah, this
(12:05):
honestly this doesn't live like self improvement. It looks like
I'm trying to make your jewelry, but it is self improvement.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Right, It's that, And then it also manifests itself and
just like this intense like horse blinder focus around something
that I'm working on, where it is like everything around
me is just like destroyed tables flipped over, like apartment
in disarray until I like finish that thing. And I'm
(12:33):
using like examples of like physical objects, but same with relationships,
like I will let things really go by the wayside,
communicating with my family, like romantic things. It's just like
jettison that to edit this goddamn video. Like that kind
of single mindedness can really be like it's not pleasurable.
It feels bad even when I'm doing it, but I
can't really help it, so I think it all is
(12:55):
wrapped up in a self centeredness that I'm trying to
grow out of.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You know what, I home, you didn't grow out of
all of it. Some therapist, rather brilliantly it said to
me once when I was whatever it was I was
going through, It was like, you never want to get
rid of one hundred percent of your shit. You always
need to keep a certain percentage in order to recognize it,
in order to know it, and also in order to
(13:20):
pay it its dues for having taught you. And I
was like, oh my god, I'm supposed to literally tithe
to my emotional and psychological shit. And he was like, yeah,
pretty much. I think it's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And I think also those.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Women were told there was supposed to iron out every
single thing that is somehow difficult or unappealing, when a
natural thing what you've just described. Yes, I know that
being self centered and single minded. I've been there, of
suffering the loss of relationships and family, being mad, But
it's also becomes the engine. There's nobody else motivating you.
(13:53):
It is part of your engine. It is part of
what propels us to create and to make things, and
it does require a certain Maybe you'll reframe it won't
just be self centeredive, but it will be yeah driven.
I mean anyone could see that by looking at the
films that you make, the videos that you may thank you,
I mean you have to be in order to create
that content. I think the best thing about you and
(14:16):
the worst thing about you, or.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Often like just two sides of the same coin like that. Yeah,
so you need it? What's yours? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
What's yours? Everything mine a spiral, a spiral, and I
pull everything into the vortex of the small thing that's
going wrong is suddenly everything? Is this just in a
form of anxiety? Do you?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I think?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah? Which I never had that word. I really genuinely
never had that word. And there was never a bottom
to it, so you could never actually hit the bottom
and go, oh what was that? It was a kind
of I think it's a free fall. And I think
also because there wasn't a word for it, and so
there wasn't a medication or a therapy or anything. Is
it be years of putting that together to go, oh,
this is thing I do. I remember introducing this to
(15:04):
my boyfriend almost like it was like an elderly aunt
who I have custody of, darling this is my spiraling
free for She's fragile and she's sweet, but if you
just put her on the sofa with a cup of tea,
usually she gets it back together and she won't shit
the bad. I love that. I love gently explaining your
own sort.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Of like pathologies to other people, being like, hey, this
is what's going on right now. I even have a
signal now to the people in my life. I shake
my hands like this. If I'm like going into this
weird sort of introverted like the hall, I just go.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I'll talk to you in three hours. Listen. Communication and
the ability to teach people about your language. I think
that's really cool to be able to do that. Yeah,
it's not easy, all this living now, it's not You've
got to find whatever tools you possibly can. Becoming friendly
with and having signals I think is all really positive.
I love what you do. Jazz hair.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah, I don't know. It seems like a way to
make people laugh when it's happening. So it's just sort
of like.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Hey, delady's going into that mode exactly. I might have
to steal that. That's really good. That's really great. Where
and when were you happiest?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Okay, I recently threw a dinner party at my loft
in Los Angeles. This moment where I wake up and
I know that that evening I'm entertaining, I'm having a
bunch of people over. That moment is when I'm the happiest.
When I get to look forward to a day of
(16:41):
writing a list of groceries with a pen and a
piece of paper and taking it to like one of
those tiny like gourmet food stores and really nerding out
on some weird brand of grain that I didn't know existed,
and then and like heirloom blah blah blah blah and
(17:03):
broth and all that stuff, and getting really crazy with
that and seeing what's in season, and then putting together
a menu and like talking to the butcher and the
fishmonger and being like, how much do I need to
feed sixteen people? And then there's this dialogue that's happening there,
and then you feel like you're like, oh my god,
I really live in my city. I know my butcher.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
And then you come home.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And it's the stay of repping and creating sauces while
all simultaneously watching like a Nancy Meyer's movie at the background.
That's my ritual I love to put on a movie
and I'm getting ready for a dinner party, and then
it's the making the table, setting the table. I did
some really crazy things where I would like go to
the fabric District in Los Angeles and make my own
(17:45):
tablecloth and really get into that kind of thing. And
then you're having a glass of wine right before everybody
shows up, and everyone comes in and maybe you've invited
your crush and that's going to be exciting, and there's
so much wine. The night is so full of potential.
So a day like that is always when I'm the happiest,
(18:05):
and it's imperative that it is in my space. Having
people to MySpace like that's just what brings a home warmth.
And so I just got this place in New York
and it's significantly smaller here, and so I haven't quite
been able to do the type of parties they do
in Los Angeles, but I'm hoping to bring that here
so I feel that same kind of happiness.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Wow, God, if I've got sixteen people coming over, I
wake up on the morning to be like, oh fucking footballs, yeah, wow,
so good. How most people find that way? I know,
and my sister loves it. You two and you I'm
sure are very good at it because you take pleasure
in it.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, I think it's a performance or maybe even a manipulation,
because it's look at how I can show you that
my life is put together.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Look at all these little tricks I'm showing you.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
How I shut then oyster in, how I was able
to get sixteen bottles of wine.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It is a little bit of a manipulation.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
And I think about that a lot.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
That's interesting how I'm come instantly, not constantly every now
and again, when I'm stop breaking down, Like performance and
being an actor, I can never get away from the
embarrassing need for approbation and of people's acknowledgement of what
I've done and needing supports the nice way of saying
it around that, are you aware of kind of your
(19:19):
foibles around the things that you like? You say, that's
a tenet of you. Having a dinner party is going.
Maybe there's some manipulation in there of wanting people to
be or thinking about it. She got oysters and she
knew how to shuck it. Yeah. Do you think that's
part of being an actor or do you think that's
just part of your pathology.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I definitely think it's part of being a performer of
any kind. I think that people who have been doing
it for a really long time and have been able
to sustain a career as a performer probably are able
to shed that sooner rather than later, because it's an
unsustainable way to go about doing it expecting that sort
of positive feedback loop.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah, I think about sometimes my apartment.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
It's more of like a set that I've like, really
thought about the production design of it more than enough apartment. Oh,
I've got these beautiful gold salt and pepper grinders.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Do I like these?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Or do I just want them so that people see
them and go, Delaney has those?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
And what does that say?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
That she found those or sourced them from an interesting
vantage website and she must have such a rich internal life?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
What am I always looking for? But that's it. I
think it's interesting. I've always felt like if one is
in on the jug of what one is doing, that
there's an absolution in that. Like it was like, is
this Delaney wanting the gold pepper and salt things or
is this actually me wanting to bread? Like I think
having that self awareness, I think it's observably that way,
(20:42):
and none of this is much to come across as
patronizing even if it does. But I am significantly older
than you. I think it does save you. I think
self awareness is the thing that actually forks you out
of more shit in life, actually being able to acknowledge
it and go, yeah I did that, or yeah I
did that.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
There's this sort of funny rhetoric on it where it's like,
if you are even considering whether you're a narcissist or
googling it, you're probably not a narcissist. And I'm like, okay,
but come on, there's got to be a loopho hole there.
That's some narcissists have figured out.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
So I'm still not stop free on that. No convinced, Yeah, no, convinced,
not entirely.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Are the really good narcissists in on that too.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah, exactly. I'm really well prepared. What relationship, real or fictionalized,
defines love for you.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I was actually watching when Harry met Sali recently, and
you know how it's interspersed with these introductions to these
couples who have been together in real life for like
one hundred and forty seven years. It's like Marty and
Nancy met in a bread factory and they've been together
for two hundred years. I I am really fascinated by
(22:02):
couples who withstand like an insane test of time like that,
because it's increasingly rare, and I find it very old
fashioned and very romantic. And as I get older, I
think I'm realizing, like I might be sort of romantic
and old fashioned. And so I'm looking around at all
(22:23):
of these couples around my age, and I don't know,
I have no idea what to say about what's going
on with them. I actually think my generation is getting
a lot wrong when it comes to romantic relationships right now.
And also I acknowledge this question could have been about
platonic love. But yeah, I guess what I'm most interested
in romantic love, Sue me. I think that's the most fun.
(22:47):
Even looking at couples like in the industry, I like
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who have been together since
what nineteen eighty three, Like, I really want to know
what's going on they're like, who knows the shit that
they've been through? Who knows how they make it work?
But I'm interested in the devotion of staying together beyond
(23:10):
whatever they've gone through, Like, I really find that fascinating.
So I don't know. I think I'm hopeful. It makes
me feel hopeful.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I love that My aunt was married for sixty two
years and he died quite recently, and I was asking
her about her marriage and she said, it's like a centrifuge,
and you have all of these things that will get
put into that centrifige. But because there was a ton
(23:38):
of shit that went down that he did and that
today we would go, well, I can't believe they didn't
get divorced or whatever from whatever, all these different things.
And she said, you sometimes take years where you're processing
whether or not these things that have come at you
actually qualify as shutting down this centrifuge. Are they bigger
than this central thing? And she was like I kept
(24:00):
not being able to answer yes. I kept going No,
this affair or this infraction, this argument, this lack of
moral compunction, this whatever it was, is not greater than
the profound connection, devotion, and shared life that we have together.
And I was like, but why are you just boiling
(24:21):
with fucking rage? And she was like, of course I was.
Then there were years where I would boil, and I
was like, what would you do? And she was like,
don't you remember when I used to come and stay
with you for extended periods of time? And I was like,
I thought, it's just because you liked us, and she
was like, don't be ridiculous, right, you know that's special.
So maybe it is that it's like going, is this
more important? Then? But you've got to have that solid
(24:43):
devotion to that kind of initial that love. Yeah, have
you been in love? I have a couple times. Did
you like it?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Of course, love makes everything better, and it makes when
something is networking in your life, it makes that all
the sweeter because you go, it's okay, I'm in love.
I don't have to work out with it. I'm in love.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I just paid X amount of taxes. I'm fine, I'm
in love.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
That's what I like about love. It really does make
everything better. And I find that, like when I'm in love,
I am healthyest physically healthy, Like my like disposition changes
when I'm in love, Like my hair looks better, you know.
And these are all probably results of the hormonal in
(25:30):
flux coursing through your system, of course, with.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
What comes with love. But yeah, totally that's really nice.
That's really nice to acknowledge that I don't know that
I really liked being in love that much. Are you
in love at the moment? Well, oh yes, there I go,
Oh yes, I But I have to say it is
an evolved version of the love that I felt at
twenty six is different from the love that I feel.
(25:55):
I love them both, but this one feels like it
could manage a tornado, and it could in it will.
It is sustainable. And that's not to say that it
is not interesting, varied, charismatic, sexy and all those other things.
It's just I think it's probably just that we are
(26:15):
different in these different seasons of our life. But it's
very different. It's a very different kind of it's a
very different kind of love.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
What would you say to the mid to late twenties
MANI who is either in love or falling in love?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
What's that love advice that you're going to give now?
It genuinely would say, just please just put a moratorium
on dating actors. Just don't do it. Just don't do it.
Just if I'm going to do one thing, I'm not
going to do this, because there isn't with all the
love in the world, and God knows, I love actors.
(26:50):
I love them, fascinated by them. I think they're sexy
and cool and great, and they do what I do,
and they love what I love, and I love watching
how they do it. Or there is room, but it's
not room for two of these sensibilities. Something has to give,
someone has to give it up, someone just has to do.
I do agree with that.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
I've constructed a theory in the last few months, which
is that within every great romantic relationship, there is the ham,
and then there's the straight man. And this reference doesn't
work because'm actually about to reference to actors, but it's like,
there's got to be the Charlie Day and then there's
the Jason Bateman, meaning like Charlie's the hair, and then
(27:30):
we've got a straight man over here. So it's like,
I've noticed that whenever I have a relationship that's really working,
it's because they've allowed me to be the ham. I
always have to be the hand.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
By the way, Can I tell you that is what
Addison has in all of his like capacious intellectual amazingness,
what he has done for me is just to let
me be the ham, not be angry with me for it.
Not put poke fun at me, not feel threatened, not
be jealous, not be jealous. I need to shut it down.
So maybe to throw that blanket thing over. Well, just
(28:01):
no actors, But I really do think as a general
rule of thumb, the actors are better off with civilians. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
I've done it both, so I'll let you know how
it goes.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
You know, it's all up in the air and now.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
But no, I'd love to date like a dentist. That
sounds great. Dentists start really on RAYA is the problem?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Have you ever been on Riya?
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Really?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
I yet? No, I have not been on Rare. I've
swiped through with a friend of mine, and the world
of online dating that is quite something. Oh yeah, is
that way you meet people?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
No, I meet people at work events and they're usually actors, writers, directors, comedians.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I've got a hot dentist.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'm really to it.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Yeah, okay, I'm not even kidding. Then where does he live.
He's like in Hudson. Oh that's not too far. Okay,
I'm in Chinatown. I'm definitely texting him after we we
hang out. Okay, how old are we talking? He's thirty four. Oh,
that's per effect. I know that's where dentist. I was like,
(29:05):
hold please, she looks like me. You're gonna be so happy. Okay,
this is so funny. Mini Questions is hosted and written
by me Mini Driver, Executive produced by Me and Aaron Kaufman,
with production support from Jennifer Bassett, Zoey Dentler and Ali Perry.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
The theme music is also by me.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
An Additional music by Aaron Kaufman. Special thanks to Jim
Nikolay Addison, O'Day, Henry Driver, Lisa Castella, Anick oppenheim, A,
Nick Muller and Annette Wolfe at w kp R, Will Pearson,
Nicki Etoor, Morgan Levoy and Mangesh had ticke Adore
You'll know because you're the bellwether of cultural zegeist. What
is it called when you know guys want that kind
of the perfect it's the perfect, like descriptor of the girlfriend,
Manic Pixy dream girl. That's exactly right. Did you see
how quickly she knew what I was talking about? You
see how she speaks youth. She speaks youth. That's my
(00:21):
bread and butter. Well, Manic Pixie dream girl, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
That's me.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well, I think I was just manic. I was just
fan of Hello, I'm mini driver. I've always loved Proust's questionnaire.
It was originally in nineteenth century parlor game where players
would ask each other thirty five questions aimed at revealing.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
The other player's true nature.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
In asking different people the same set of questions, you
can make observations about which truths appear to be universal.
And it made me wonder, what if these questions were
just the jumping off point, what greater depths would be
revealed if I asked these questions as conversation stuff. So
I adapted Pru's questionnaire and I wrote my own seven
questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
They are When and where were you happiest? What is
the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real
or fictionalized, defines.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Love for you?
Speaker 3 (01:16):
What question would you most like answered? What person, place,
or experience has shaped you the most? What would be
your last meal? And can you tell me something in
your life that's grown out of a personal disaster? And
I've gathered a group.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Of really remarkable people, ones that I am honored and
humbled to have had the chance to engage with. You
may not hear their answers to all seven of these questions.
We've whittled it down to which questions felt closest to
their experience, or the most surprising.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Or created the most fertile ground to connect.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
My guest today is writer and comedian Delaney Rowe. She
has millions and millions of followers on Instagram and TikTok,
But I hesitate to use the term social media personality
because to me as a descriptor, it lacks the depth
of interest that Delaney possesses. Now, this could just be
me forcing narratives into concepts, I understand, But she makes
(02:16):
what are essentially short films on Instagram and TikTok. Her
most famous creation being a character called insufferable female lead
of an indie movie. Now, perhaps I love this character
so much because I have been that character, But mostly
I think it's because it is so well observed, so
brilliantly executed, and that Delaney possesses that rare quality of beauty, wit,
(02:40):
and timing. I always love asking these questions of mine
to younger people, largely because they offer such a different
and unique perspective. At the risk of standing even more patronizing,
I just couldn't be more interested to see how Delaney
evolves and grows as an artist and continues to shape
this particular core of our culture, because she is clever
(03:03):
and observant and really cool. What person, place, or experience
most altered your life?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Okay? I used to be a private chef like before
what I do now, and that was a crazy time
in my life because it was the thing that allowed
me to realize I can do very difficult things. I
can access a stamina in myself that I didn't know
(03:32):
that I had, maybe growing up and then being in
a highly pressorized situation like being a private chef for
like big clients who are expecting so much from you.
You can't fuck up like you just and if you
do fuck up, you just have to get right back
on track and figure it out and you enter this
flow state and it's incredible. And it was also at
(03:53):
a time where like everyone my age was not doing
anything like that. Everyone was like a hostess or like
a nanny or like working for their dads blah blah
blah blah. And like I was like, I am hitting
the streets every day. I didn't know how to drive.
I still don't know how to drive. I would walk
to the market with a wagon at six am and
(04:15):
like fill it with food for like these football players
and then go off and work from like seven am
to like eight pm at night. And I was like,
nobody can do what I'm doing like that I know
right now. And I was not a professional. I was
like learning on the job. And it gave me a
tremendous amount of self esteem because it was like I
(04:40):
can do hard things. And it was this kind of
turning point where I was like I might not be
a little bitch, like I can be out here in
the world really working hard. And it made me really
happy and really confident.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Wow, I think that's such a good point about learning
how to do hard things. I think that's like that.
I talk about that a lot with my son. That
part of my job is to teach him how to
do that. But I think figuring out for yourself just
by actually doing it is even more impassibl Yeah, how
would you get to the venue? How would you do? Uber?
Speaker 2 (05:12):
When you were go it was wagon to the grocery store,
fill the wagon and then lift the wagon into the
back of a black suv like Uber black suv.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Oh my god. It was like I was ripped, Manny.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I had these insane biceps from just you know, and
like you know, they're athletes, so it's like you're carrying.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Like boxes of booze in.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It was just and I was like this kind of
like tiny twenty two year old, and I was like,
I don't ever have to work out. I just have
to do this job forever. You're on your feet your Wow. Fuck,
it's big, like in a good way, like Mustella, like
it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I was like, I was ripped.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
I miss it.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
My god, how amazing, So which leads very nicely then
into what would I can't wait to hear this? What
would be your last?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
It's going to be a little disappointing. I think it
always is. My favorite food in the world is just
white rice, and I love it with just some sort
of like fat.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
My choice is butter, So like white.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Rice with a ton of butter, and then I would
put two over easy eggs on that, and I have
that most days for breakfast. So I like that my
last meal is something that I kind of have every day.
Like that's how much I love it.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
That's very comforting. But I also like that. I like
that you have it for breakfast and that's how you
would go out, and it was my last meal.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Two bottles of wine and a pack of cigarettes one
hundred percent Magenta Capri cigarettes. Yeah, two bottles of orange
wine and a pack cigarettes one hundred percent.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
I love the drinking natural wine and smoking a pack
of ye way out. Now, have you just developed a
real taste for orange wine?
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Yeah, I'm like that. I'm into that shit. I'm into
that world all of a sudden. And I actually got
into the world because when I was cheffing, I had
this massive budget to spend on wine every day. And
athletes they're not drinking a ton of wine. Most of
them weren't anyway, like it was more like Don Julio
nineteen forty two, Like that was kind of there. But
(07:13):
you know, I had all this extra budget for wine,
so I would buy the wine anyway and.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Then I would drink it, and then I would drink it. Yeah,
that's right, I was doing.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I'm a hero, Okay, I'm a hero. I would also
get like a book about wine, and then I'd be
reading a book about wine as I would wait for
them to come home and in between lunch and dinner service,
and I'm like, try and love it a loine and
have it a great time.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Is wine you'r thing? Is wine what you love? Yeah,
it's a big deal. Yeah yeah, yeah, wine. Wine is
a really big deal.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I have wine fridges in both my apartments because of that.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
It's a big deal for me.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I'm not taking cocktails off the table though, Like of course,
I love a martini as much as the next broad So,
like gin is also big for me.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I like monkey forty seven gin.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
You know this?
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Do I know? That? Chin Chin Chin? For me is
just it's just the taste of hopelessness, cleaning supplies. I
get that.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
I do get that. What is your drink? Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Tequila on the Rocks. I just love a good episode.
But I love beer, Okay, cool girl of beer. I
also love cheap beer, no way, man, by the way.
That's honestly. It was because you get these weird YenS,
like when you get pregnant and stuff, and one of them.
I'd never really been a beer drinker before, and then
I had this yen that never went away since I
(08:32):
had my son, and I just I fucking love them hops.
That is great, that's sexy. I love that you're saying
that it's sexy and it's cool on Never in a
million years though sexy. It's little maintenance. She's like down.
I love that. Yeah, cheap beer and expensive tequila. I
(08:53):
can't believe you're a chef. There's so much more that
I want to ask you about that. Wait, did you
just chef for athletes? Was that?
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Fol It was mostly athletes and then it was some
other actors and like people like that as well.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
But did you stop doing that to do what you're
doing now or did you do them in like concurrently?
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah? I was doing at the end there, I was
doing it concurrently and it was so embarrassing. I'd be
like in the kitchen making like gaspacho and I would
like hear my voice on their phone, like I would
come up on their TikTok and I was like, that's
not me, that's a look alike. And then I had
a job and naturally, and then in that gap between
finding a new driver, I was like, what if I
(09:31):
just don't find a new job and see what happens
with this internet stuff?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
And then blah and beholt I'm on Mini Drivers podcast. Dude,
would to be able to like, it's so impressive to
be able to convert what's funny and interesting and that
you have a facility for into actually being able to
live off. Like that's quite something, Like it really is,
Like I think it's such an extraordinary bit of alchemy
to ever be able to take your interest that's outside
(09:57):
of what you've been previously doing, particularly and make a
living out of there. Fuck yeah, it's amazing, just amazing.
You do it too, find what you love and get
someone to pay you to do it. So what quality
(10:21):
do you like? Least about yourself?
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Easy? I can be so self centered and single minded.
I was having a discussion with someone last night who
was talking about a very specific experience to them, and
I went no, that can't be right, and he goes, no, no, no,
(10:45):
Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not
true for me, And I was like, aha, yes, you're
probably right about that. So a lot of that goes
on with me, a lot of if I haven't felt it,
how could it possibly be going on? And so trying
to step outside my own experience is really like what
I've been working on in the twilight of my twenties.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Here, how do you do that? Do you do that
by listening and going I'm just going to let this
like talk and I'm not going to comment on what
he's saying, even if I don't agree with it, Like
how do you practice it?
Speaker 2 (11:16):
How I practice it is by allowing myself to be
incorrect a lot like looking for reasons that evidence in
my mind for whatever I'm thinking, like the contrary evidence
of that, where I'm like, okay, now look for examples
in the world where what you're so sure of is
not true and you can always find it.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
So I try to do that.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I try to prove myself wrong a lot because I
actually really want to be wrong.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
It makes me feel hopeful. I love it. You must
love getting pulled over by the cops. Well, thank you
for setting right. I needed to feel wrong and now
I do. Maybe that's my king being wrong sounds like
it either way. That's so hilarious. It's like being cool
breaking an entering, right, I'm just doing this is like right,
this is my I'm trying to better myself. Yeah, this
(12:05):
honestly this doesn't live like self improvement. It looks like
I'm trying to make your jewelry, but it is self improvement.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Right, It's that, And then it also manifests itself and
just like this intense like horse blinder focus around something
that I'm working on, where it is like everything around
me is just like destroyed tables flipped over, like apartment
in disarray until I like finish that thing. And I'm
(12:33):
using like examples of like physical objects, but same with relationships,
like I will let things really go by the wayside,
communicating with my family, like romantic things. It's just like
jettison that to edit this goddamn video. Like that kind
of single mindedness can really be like it's not pleasurable.
It feels bad even when I'm doing it, but I
can't really help it, so I think it all is
(12:55):
wrapped up in a self centeredness that I'm trying to
grow out of.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
You know what, I home, you didn't grow out of
all of it. Some therapist, rather brilliantly it said to
me once when I was whatever it was I was
going through, It was like, you never want to get
rid of one hundred percent of your shit. You always
need to keep a certain percentage in order to recognize it,
in order to know it, and also in order to
(13:20):
pay it its dues for having taught you. And I
was like, oh my god, I'm supposed to literally tithe
to my emotional and psychological shit. And he was like, yeah,
pretty much. I think it's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
And I think also those.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Women were told there was supposed to iron out every
single thing that is somehow difficult or unappealing, when a
natural thing what you've just described. Yes, I know that
being self centered and single minded. I've been there, of
suffering the loss of relationships and family, being mad, But
it's also becomes the engine. There's nobody else motivating you.
(13:53):
It is part of your engine. It is part of
what propels us to create and to make things, and
it does require a certain Maybe you'll reframe it won't
just be self centeredive, but it will be yeah driven.
I mean anyone could see that by looking at the
films that you make, the videos that you may thank you,
I mean you have to be in order to create
that content. I think the best thing about you and
(14:16):
the worst thing about you, or.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Often like just two sides of the same coin like that. Yeah,
so you need it? What's yours? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
What's yours? Everything mine a spiral, a spiral, and I
pull everything into the vortex of the small thing that's
going wrong is suddenly everything? Is this just in a
form of anxiety? Do you?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I think?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah? Which I never had that word. I really genuinely
never had that word. And there was never a bottom
to it, so you could never actually hit the bottom
and go, oh what was that? It was a kind
of I think it's a free fall. And I think
also because there wasn't a word for it, and so
there wasn't a medication or a therapy or anything. Is
it be years of putting that together to go, oh,
this is thing I do. I remember introducing this to
(15:04):
my boyfriend almost like it was like an elderly aunt
who I have custody of, darling this is my spiraling
free for She's fragile and she's sweet, but if you
just put her on the sofa with a cup of tea,
usually she gets it back together and she won't shit
the bad. I love that. I love gently explaining your
own sort.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Of like pathologies to other people, being like, hey, this
is what's going on right now. I even have a
signal now to the people in my life. I shake
my hands like this. If I'm like going into this
weird sort of introverted like the hall, I just go.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I'll talk to you in three hours. Listen. Communication and
the ability to teach people about your language. I think
that's really cool to be able to do that. Yeah,
it's not easy, all this living now, it's not You've
got to find whatever tools you possibly can. Becoming friendly
with and having signals I think is all really positive.
I love what you do. Jazz hair.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Yeah, I don't know. It seems like a way to
make people laugh when it's happening. So it's just sort
of like.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Hey, delady's going into that mode exactly. I might have
to steal that. That's really good. That's really great. Where
and when were you happiest?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Okay, I recently threw a dinner party at my loft
in Los Angeles. This moment where I wake up and
I know that that evening I'm entertaining, I'm having a
bunch of people over. That moment is when I'm the happiest.
When I get to look forward to a day of
(16:41):
writing a list of groceries with a pen and a
piece of paper and taking it to like one of
those tiny like gourmet food stores and really nerding out
on some weird brand of grain that I didn't know existed,
and then and like heirloom blah blah blah blah and
(17:03):
broth and all that stuff, and getting really crazy with
that and seeing what's in season, and then putting together
a menu and like talking to the butcher and the
fishmonger and being like, how much do I need to
feed sixteen people? And then there's this dialogue that's happening there,
and then you feel like you're like, oh my god,
I really live in my city. I know my butcher.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
And then you come home.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
And it's the stay of repping and creating sauces while
all simultaneously watching like a Nancy Meyer's movie at the background.
That's my ritual I love to put on a movie
and I'm getting ready for a dinner party, and then
it's the making the table, setting the table. I did
some really crazy things where I would like go to
the fabric District in Los Angeles and make my own
(17:45):
tablecloth and really get into that kind of thing. And
then you're having a glass of wine right before everybody
shows up, and everyone comes in and maybe you've invited
your crush and that's going to be exciting, and there's
so much wine. The night is so full of potential.
So a day like that is always when I'm the happiest,
(18:05):
and it's imperative that it is in my space. Having
people to MySpace like that's just what brings a home warmth.
And so I just got this place in New York
and it's significantly smaller here, and so I haven't quite
been able to do the type of parties they do
in Los Angeles, but I'm hoping to bring that here
so I feel that same kind of happiness.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
Wow, God, if I've got sixteen people coming over, I
wake up on the morning to be like, oh fucking footballs, yeah, wow,
so good. How most people find that way? I know,
and my sister loves it. You two and you I'm
sure are very good at it because you take pleasure
in it.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, I think it's a performance or maybe even a manipulation,
because it's look at how I can show you that
my life is put together.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Look at all these little tricks I'm showing you.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
How I shut then oyster in, how I was able
to get sixteen bottles of wine.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
It is a little bit of a manipulation.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
And I think about that a lot.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
That's interesting how I'm come instantly, not constantly every now
and again, when I'm stop breaking down, Like performance and
being an actor, I can never get away from the
embarrassing need for approbation and of people's acknowledgement of what
I've done and needing supports the nice way of saying
it around that, are you aware of kind of your
(19:19):
foibles around the things that you like? You say, that's
a tenet of you. Having a dinner party is going.
Maybe there's some manipulation in there of wanting people to
be or thinking about it. She got oysters and she
knew how to shuck it. Yeah. Do you think that's
part of being an actor or do you think that's
just part of your pathology.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I definitely think it's part of being a performer of
any kind. I think that people who have been doing
it for a really long time and have been able
to sustain a career as a performer probably are able
to shed that sooner rather than later, because it's an
unsustainable way to go about doing it expecting that sort
of positive feedback loop.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Yeah, I think about sometimes my apartment.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
It's more of like a set that I've like, really
thought about the production design of it more than enough apartment. Oh,
I've got these beautiful gold salt and pepper grinders.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Do I like these?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Or do I just want them so that people see
them and go, Delaney has those?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
And what does that say?
Speaker 2 (20:16):
That she found those or sourced them from an interesting
vantage website and she must have such a rich internal life?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
What am I always looking for? But that's it. I
think it's interesting. I've always felt like if one is
in on the jug of what one is doing, that
there's an absolution in that. Like it was like, is
this Delaney wanting the gold pepper and salt things or
is this actually me wanting to bread? Like I think
having that self awareness, I think it's observably that way,
(20:42):
and none of this is much to come across as
patronizing even if it does. But I am significantly older
than you. I think it does save you. I think
self awareness is the thing that actually forks you out
of more shit in life, actually being able to acknowledge
it and go, yeah I did that, or yeah I
did that.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
There's this sort of funny rhetoric on it where it's like,
if you are even considering whether you're a narcissist or
googling it, you're probably not a narcissist. And I'm like, okay,
but come on, there's got to be a loopho hole there.
That's some narcissists have figured out.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
So I'm still not stop free on that. No convinced, Yeah, no, convinced,
not entirely.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Are the really good narcissists in on that too.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Yeah, exactly. I'm really well prepared. What relationship, real or fictionalized,
defines love for you.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I was actually watching when Harry met Sali recently, and
you know how it's interspersed with these introductions to these
couples who have been together in real life for like
one hundred and forty seven years. It's like Marty and
Nancy met in a bread factory and they've been together
for two hundred years. I I am really fascinated by
(22:02):
couples who withstand like an insane test of time like that,
because it's increasingly rare, and I find it very old
fashioned and very romantic. And as I get older, I
think I'm realizing, like I might be sort of romantic
and old fashioned. And so I'm looking around at all
(22:23):
of these couples around my age, and I don't know,
I have no idea what to say about what's going
on with them. I actually think my generation is getting
a lot wrong when it comes to romantic relationships right now.
And also I acknowledge this question could have been about
platonic love. But yeah, I guess what I'm most interested
in romantic love, Sue me. I think that's the most fun.
(22:47):
Even looking at couples like in the industry, I like
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who have been together since
what nineteen eighty three, Like, I really want to know
what's going on they're like, who knows the shit that
they've been through? Who knows how they make it work?
But I'm interested in the devotion of staying together beyond
(23:10):
whatever they've gone through, Like, I really find that fascinating.
So I don't know. I think I'm hopeful. It makes
me feel hopeful.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
I love that My aunt was married for sixty two
years and he died quite recently, and I was asking
her about her marriage and she said, it's like a centrifuge,
and you have all of these things that will get
put into that centrifige. But because there was a ton
(23:38):
of shit that went down that he did and that
today we would go, well, I can't believe they didn't
get divorced or whatever from whatever, all these different things.
And she said, you sometimes take years where you're processing
whether or not these things that have come at you
actually qualify as shutting down this centrifuge. Are they bigger
than this central thing? And she was like I kept
(24:00):
not being able to answer yes. I kept going No,
this affair or this infraction, this argument, this lack of
moral compunction, this whatever it was, is not greater than
the profound connection, devotion, and shared life that we have together.
And I was like, but why are you just boiling
(24:21):
with fucking rage? And she was like, of course I was.
Then there were years where I would boil, and I
was like, what would you do? And she was like,
don't you remember when I used to come and stay
with you for extended periods of time? And I was like,
I thought, it's just because you liked us, and she
was like, don't be ridiculous, right, you know that's special.
So maybe it is that it's like going, is this
more important? Then? But you've got to have that solid
(24:43):
devotion to that kind of initial that love. Yeah, have
you been in love? I have a couple times. Did
you like it?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Of course, love makes everything better, and it makes when
something is networking in your life, it makes that all
the sweeter because you go, it's okay, I'm in love.
I don't have to work out with it. I'm in love.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I just paid X amount of taxes. I'm fine, I'm
in love.
Speaker 2 (25:09):
That's what I like about love. It really does make
everything better. And I find that, like when I'm in love,
I am healthyest physically healthy, Like my like disposition changes
when I'm in love, Like my hair looks better, you know.
And these are all probably results of the hormonal in
(25:30):
flux coursing through your system, of course, with.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
What comes with love. But yeah, totally that's really nice.
That's really nice to acknowledge that I don't know that
I really liked being in love that much. Are you
in love at the moment? Well, oh yes, there I go,
Oh yes, I But I have to say it is
an evolved version of the love that I felt at
twenty six is different from the love that I feel.
(25:55):
I love them both, but this one feels like it
could manage a tornado, and it could in it will.
It is sustainable. And that's not to say that it
is not interesting, varied, charismatic, sexy and all those other things.
It's just I think it's probably just that we are
(26:15):
different in these different seasons of our life. But it's
very different. It's a very different kind of it's a
very different kind of love.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
What would you say to the mid to late twenties
MANI who is either in love or falling in love?
Speaker 1 (26:30):
What's that love advice that you're going to give now?
It genuinely would say, just please just put a moratorium
on dating actors. Just don't do it. Just don't do it.
Just if I'm going to do one thing, I'm not
going to do this, because there isn't with all the
love in the world, and God knows, I love actors.
(26:50):
I love them, fascinated by them. I think they're sexy
and cool and great, and they do what I do,
and they love what I love, and I love watching
how they do it. Or there is room, but it's
not room for two of these sensibilities. Something has to give,
someone has to give it up, someone just has to do.
I do agree with that.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
I've constructed a theory in the last few months, which
is that within every great romantic relationship, there is the ham,
and then there's the straight man. And this reference doesn't
work because'm actually about to reference to actors, but it's like,
there's got to be the Charlie Day and then there's
the Jason Bateman, meaning like Charlie's the hair, and then
(27:30):
we've got a straight man over here. So it's like,
I've noticed that whenever I have a relationship that's really working,
it's because they've allowed me to be the ham. I
always have to be the hand.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
By the way, Can I tell you that is what
Addison has in all of his like capacious intellectual amazingness,
what he has done for me is just to let
me be the ham, not be angry with me for it.
Not put poke fun at me, not feel threatened, not
be jealous, not be jealous. I need to shut it down.
So maybe to throw that blanket thing over. Well, just
(28:01):
no actors, But I really do think as a general
rule of thumb, the actors are better off with civilians. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
I've done it both, so I'll let you know how
it goes.
Speaker 1 (28:12):
You know, it's all up in the air and now.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
But no, I'd love to date like a dentist. That
sounds great. Dentists start really on RAYA is the problem?
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Have you ever been on Riya?
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Really?
Speaker 1 (28:25):
I yet? No, I have not been on Rare. I've
swiped through with a friend of mine, and the world
of online dating that is quite something. Oh yeah, is
that way you meet people?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
No, I meet people at work events and they're usually actors, writers, directors, comedians.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I've got a hot dentist.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I'm really to it.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Yeah, okay, I'm not even kidding. Then where does he live.
He's like in Hudson. Oh that's not too far. Okay,
I'm in Chinatown. I'm definitely texting him after we we
hang out. Okay, how old are we talking? He's thirty four. Oh,
that's per effect. I know that's where dentist. I was like,
(29:05):
hold please, she looks like me. You're gonna be so happy. Okay,
this is so funny. Mini Questions is hosted and written
by me Mini Driver, Executive produced by Me and Aaron Kaufman,
with production support from Jennifer Bassett, Zoey Dentler and Ali Perry.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
The theme music is also by me.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
An Additional music by Aaron Kaufman. Special thanks to Jim
Nikolay Addison, O'Day, Henry Driver, Lisa Castella, Anick oppenheim, A,
Nick Muller and Annette Wolfe at w kp R, Will Pearson,
Nicki Etoor, Morgan Levoy and Mangesh had ticke Adore
Host
Minnie Driver
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