June 28, 2024 • 25 mins
For a limited time only, Tori takes viewer comments, questions, and LOTS OF critiques.
From toilet paper troubles, burning butts, and boobs that can hold her podcast microphone, Tori takes a deep dive into her noTORIous body parts!
Plus, wait until you hear her placenta sTORIes!!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Miss Spelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. It's the weekend.
It's fun. Welcome to another edition of Miss Commentatory, the
weekend Edition. I'm really into fast food, so I'm gonna
(00:32):
say it limited time only here for the summer. Here
I am. I'm here all summer long. But it's the weekend,
and kicking off my weekend, I'm going to go right
into something that happened to me this morning. So I
pulled up to CBS because celebrities they're just like us.
(00:55):
We were on a toilet paper and that's not going
to be pretty, not just out of toilet paper like
we had gone through. I was like, okay, middle of
the night, hold please, a child comes in, get paper,
next child. It was like a revolving door of children
coming in. I'ming to take a shit, so I we said, no,
(01:19):
they're healthy. So I then moved on to wet wipes,
and then it was my turn this morning and there
was nothing left. So I was like, oh God, what
do I have? I'm not ashamed to say, uh, I
went for makeup wipes, nut Regina. They're great for your face,
(01:41):
not for your Enis that mother burned? I'm okay. Now
though anyway, pulled into the CBS had to go in
and get toilet paper for the family. As I pull in, uh,
it was like this guy came out of nowhere right
in my eyeland. And I was texting my kids saying,
do you need anything else while I'm here, because they
(02:01):
are notorious for oh I forgot to tell you we
needed this, or I forgot this. I wanted this, and
it's like, oh, you knew I was going. I was
right there. So I was texting them and a guy
appeared out of nowhere and weighed me down in my
eye line, and uh, I waved back, thinking do I
(02:24):
know this man? You know you look normal, wish And
so then he comes over to my car window and
I'm a people pleaser, I'm too nice to be like
sorry on the phone, can't And he tells me he
does the signal like roll down your window. So, of course,
when a stranger comes up to your window and startles
(02:45):
you and tells you to roll down your window, what
do you do? Rolled down my window? And he says
you're that actress and I said, yep, I am, And
he said, do you want to smoke a joint? And
I was like, oh my gosh, Ashton, Ashton, am I
(03:08):
being punked? Like what is this? Sorry? As my kids
tell me it's walk the plank now that's the new
version for their generation. So I'm like, uh no, no,
thank you. I'm actually here to get stuff from my kids.
I have five kids. I'm a mother. As if mothers
(03:30):
can't smoke joints, but I'm a mother, like that would
make them go away? And he goes, I need a
sugar mama. I'm like, yeah, don't we all? Don't we all?
I need sugar daddy, and he goes, I can connect
(03:52):
you with one. I have connections in Dubai. I'm not
gonna lie you guys. For half a second, I blankly
looked at this man, but in my head I was like, oh,
that could be an option. So he said, do you
want to exchange information? And I said no, I'm sorry.
(04:16):
I don't feel comfortable. But you know who I am?
He said I do, and I said, oh, if you
happen to slide into my DMS, maybe we can figure
this out. Yeah, do you want to smoke a joint?
(04:38):
I need a sugar mama, and I have connections. As
you buy three things, you don't hear on a morning
when you're just going to get toilet paper for your
kids to wipe the ast. Anyway, welcome to the weekend edition.
And I'm now going to go into comments questions. You
guys had so many badman you're on.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Why does she look like a bobblehead? I don't get it.
It's not an insult. She looks nice if you take
the parts separately, but together it's odd.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Huh. There are some compliments, backhanded compliments, and some insults
all in one. There I'm processing.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
By the way, they also say, and her fingers look
so tiny as well?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Oh, thank you. I do have tiny fingers. I have
really nice fingers. My mom was actually a hand model
little known fact. When she was young. I think in
her early early twenties, lateeen, she was a hand model.
And I believe I have her hands. So I do
have really nice hands. Anyway, that's just a side note.
(05:51):
When they are tiny. Uh, okay, bobblehead, I like bobbleheads. Wait,
what are the wait funko pops? What are those things? Oh?
Can we make a business out of that? Okay? If
I have a bobblehead, I could be a funko pop.
I could be oh, you know what, always turning lemons
(06:11):
into lemonchella would be nice right now. Okay, I've heard
that before. I've heard lollipop head, which I like lollipops. Oh,
by the way, if anyone's wondering, I feel like you're
that person. You're either, for instance, if you like licorice,
(06:34):
it's very telling about a human if they like black
licorice or red licorice. In my opine, and I steer
clear people that eat black licorice, I'm like, oh, feel
your energy all the way right here. Uh and yeah,
I feel like you can also tell totally different type
(06:57):
of thing. Tell a lot about people that suck on
lollipops or bite them. I'm a bier, just just so
you know, because I know you're all wondering. I just
think I'm a very very patient person, but not when
it comes to lollipops. I just want to get it done.
(07:17):
I just it tastes good. Oh I love it great, Okay, next,
get it done. Oh but bobblehead, Yeah, I think I
see this a lot online. They refer to people that
they feel like are thin, that their heads are too
big for their body. Well, I mean, I'm literally the
way now that I was since I was sixteen, So
(07:42):
I guess I was maybe it's maybe what is it?
Born that way?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah? Born that way?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Maybeling no revelent, I'm thinking Lady Gaga. Oh, I was
giving the old school reference this way born like that?
Remember that perfume Charlie. Anyway, I digress. I don't know.
I guess my head's too big. I mean, I don't
(08:11):
know what to do like, but I don't fall over.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Damn. Okay, here are a few comments. I eat your butt?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
May I look at that? First of all, she said
I eat your butt, and it says I'd eat your butt.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I said you did. I heard I'd eat your butt.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Thank you? I wow? I mean not after, not after
the incident that occurred with my makeup points wiping my ass.
You wouldn't want to eat it, but but I'll reconsider
(08:57):
I kind of proper anema. Thank you? Oh like my cheeks.
I thought he's talking like my buttole, what does it
mean you got? Didn't he didn't specify, isn't he? It
could be a sheet through, it could be.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
A day through. Yeah, that doesn't that isn't specify it either.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Okay, So two person out there that said they'd like
to eat my butt, could you please clarify if it's
both cheeks, left cheek, right cheek or buttle. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
There are a lot of people in this world that
love you and pray for you. But self worship is
a sin. Movie stars are notorious for thousands of selfies
and their looks, but vanity is a sin.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Good you know, I don't have that. I have no
self confidence at all. Uh vain, No, Vein's not my
thing thanks to a lot of you out there. I
think the haters for that. Actually, I'll never be vain.
I'll never be into myself and never be like, oh
look at me, look at me because of you. Not
(10:10):
a positive note, Yeah, there's nothing positive there. But oh.
Referring to veins, I had the worst veins ever, like
the tiniest veins you could ever, and I think they're genetic.
I think I passed them on to my kids. I'd
rather that than like big bulging veins. I feel like
that's like a deep thing.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
She has a giant crevice between her tits.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I do I do? I get a lot of comments
about my cleavage. Is it cleavage, clavage? What is this?
I'm just kidding. Uh. So I get comments for years
about like fix that, Like that thing between your boobs?
(10:57):
What is it? It's like a gaping hole. So it's
actually a bone thing. It's called a pectus escavatum. I know,
I sound really smart right now, right. No, it's a
thing and it's genetic and it's where your bone one
side is higher. So I've actually was born with this. Yeah,
(11:22):
and it comes from someone in my family. I think
it's my mom's side. Anyway, three two, Two of my
children have it as well, and they're like thanks Mom.
I'm like, I'm like, hey, let's look at this. So anyway,
I could get fifty million boob jobs you guys, and
it wouldn't take this away. It's just like your bone
(11:45):
one side is higher and it curbs in. So it
ain't about the tips. Positive note that I have not
shared with my kids, but I will when they are
of age.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
It makes for a hell of a party trick. Let
me just tell you. I can hold a glass, I
can hold a bottle. You know. I was the life
of the party in my twenties, like literally, like you know,
the guys thought it was so funny, like, oh, she
can hold a beer bottle between her boobs, and I
was like beer bottle, bring out the champagne. Uh yeah,
(12:26):
so I can. I can pretty much hold up anything
in between my boobs. So it's good. It also comes
in handy when I'm carrying things because I can just
put something there and then it's like I have three hands.
Uh and uh here. I'll actually demonstrate it right now,
my sugar free red bull. Oh you know what, that's lame.
(12:51):
I'm a podcast host.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Let me do this.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Who needs a stand when you've got esca bars? What
is it?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Data?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Pedro Escobar?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
What is it there? You go?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I mean besy.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Not many podcast hosts can do that. Take that. Joe Rogan,
look at that.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I think he would happily take that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Oh you know what I meant. There's your social clip
and scene.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Everyone's entiled to a middle life crisis?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Where are they referring them? Are they trying to say
I'm having one? I'm having one for years? Are you kidding? Oh? Yeah?
Is that a real thing that people have midlife crisis?
I don't think I'm having one. I think I'm had
(13:45):
one still in it. I don't ever want to come
out of it because I'm having fun.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Okay, what is the last thing anybody would think you
having your refrigerator healthy food? I think they're looking for
something a litttle more unusual.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Uh okay, I mean I have every pickle under the sun.
It's odd or pickle people awesome. They would think that
would have the refrigerator hmmm, I don't know. I will
comment on the last thing they would think I have
in my freezer though, and that would that'd be my placenta.
(14:29):
Unsure which child. There's two in there, so unless I
have like the biggest placenta in the world, there's two
vats in there. And this is normal, you know, because
there's all that fancy stuff you're supposed to They say
it's good luck to eat it, or it's good luck
to bury it, or it's good luck to you know,
have it sent and made into that powder and they
(14:51):
put into pills and I'm just too lazy to send
it out. Everything's throwing up right now in your mouth. Yeah, Laurie,
it's the thing, right, I mean, yes, yeah, people do.
I feel like they mat they it's supposed to be good.
It's something that is good for your body, and they
take it out of your body, and it's good to
(15:13):
put it back in your body.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Probably not stored in your freezer for too long though,
how long has it been in there.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I'm trying to think which one's in there. I'll have
to check after this podcast.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I mean your your youngest is seven.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, I'm really sorry to my best friend Jess because
his is still in her freezer. And I am let's
you know, you want to talk good friends. She came
to the hospital obviously the day Bo was born. She's
come to the hospital readbirth, so of you, so of you.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Except I didn't pick the placenta home with me.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Well, because I would never ask you to take the
placenta home with you because you would be grossed out,
like you're grossed out right now. But I said, Jess,
because I had a c section and we had had
complications and bo, I think Bo did bowhead John disne
(16:12):
he had something. We had to stay in the hospital
for a bit, And I said, Jess, can you take
the placenta home because they've given it to me and
I don't know what to do with it. So she,
like a proper best friend, does did take it?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Home.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I feel like she has asked me a few times
over the last seven years to take that back, and
I say, yep, next time I'm there, and then I don't.
I don't take it back, but I'm going to. I'm
going to one day. So the ones in my freezer
currently we move a lot. So unfortunately a couple got lost.
But imagine that you guys like they got lost or
(16:52):
left at some rental someone like opens up a freezer
tory spelling PLACEA Wow, that'd be interesting. You put on eBay.
You'd have to like dry ice it, though to ship,
I don't know. Shipping might be wild, so maybe someone
wouldn't buy it. What would they pay for that? Any who? Uh?
(17:17):
One time at our camp and how crazy as a
camp my ex I was on board. Uh. We cooked
the placenta, oh my god. Uh huh and eat it?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
How very primitive of you?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
People do it all the time. And Deans an amazing chef.
So I mean it was like.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Little truffle oil, dut, little salt and pepper.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yes, oh lemon, oh good, I'm gonna give you the
crpant one. You're gonna cook this one for me? Perfect?
Our next best he did tonight. Yep, no, no, no,
we he did. He cooked it and season did and
it was it was actually really good. And it's like,
you know, it's like cooking liver, and I hate liver,
(18:15):
so that's a bad reference. I like chocolate liver, cook liver. Hey,
my mom taught me when I was young, try take
one bite, try everything once. If you don't like it,
you don't eat it again. And I believe in that philosophy.
I have carried it through with my kids. When we're
at a restaurant and something comes like ew, what is
that that doesn't look good? I say, take one paint.
(18:39):
If you don't like it, don't eat it. You can
spit it out. Just take it and you might enjoy
the taste and don't look at how it looks and
judge it by that, like don't judge a book by
its cover, or don't judge me by me. You know,
same philosophy. Because uh, that goes back to when we
were in pairs when I was eleven and my mom said, oh,
(19:05):
do you want to try this? And I said what
is it? And she said, sweetbreads.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Take a bite.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it.
Same thing. Yeah, So technically she did tell me what
it was, but didn't clarify what it was. So I
took a bite. I actually liked it, and that's when
she told me it was what are sweetbreads?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Brain?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
It's like the ballamous gland. Look at the big brain
on tea. Not just a bobblehead with gaping cleavage.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
She has a big brain filling that bobblehead.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah yeah, Oh my god, it's so true. That's me.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Doesn't she have about a dozen kids? Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Man? Yeah, if I had started younger, I'm telling you
I would, I'd have a whole what is it sports team?
Hockey team, I don't know, I hate sports. I would
have an all uh litter. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Stop with verbal masturbation.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I've never heard that. Is that a thing?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You guys, what that person thinks I talk too much?
I'm doing a podcast? Aren't? Is not? Who else would
talk if I didn't talk? A verbal masturbation?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Is that like when someone like over talks and like
and they're talking to you and you're like, oh, they
just eer rate me. So me alone? Just verbal masturbation
because it's oh, I'm alone doing it all. I like
that one sorry, I won't stop, can't stop. So wait, wait, wait,
(20:53):
I have a question. So, if you're likening it to
masturbation and it's verbal, what would be the verbal version
of squirting. I'm asking for a friend, I'm asking for
a ruthan ruthan.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, I'd like to know.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Wait, I feel like the verbal masturbation form of squirting
would be I mean, that's vomiting, but that's gross. That's
a whole different kink.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Wait.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Uh, spitting, spinning, spinning, ooh, like drooling. So, oh my gosh,
I'm verbally masturbating. Oh I'm drooling all over myself, salivating, spelling,
(21:40):
that's me salivating.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I can do better. I'll think of it later.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
What is going on with her voice? She must chain smoke?
Fr FR?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
What is fr FR? I don't smoke, you, guys, I've
never smoked.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I mean maybe time.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I'm a girl that like occasionally, like since I was
like in my twenties, Like if everyone's out drinking and
like having a cigarette, I'll have like a cigarette, but no,
not a smoker.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Why, oh my gosh, you guys, my voice because it's changed.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Mh.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So my friend said that my laugh changed. Every time
I was pregnant, I would get the cackle. I'm not kidding,
Uncle Scotty. May he rest in peace. He had said
he knew one time when I was pregnant and I
hadn't told him yet. I was going to tell him
that night at dinner, and he said something because he
(22:41):
always made me laugh, that made me laugh, and I
busted out laughing, and he said, that's the pregnancy cackle. MoMA,
are you pregnant? And I was like, like, barely. I
had just taken the test, like peak test, and I
was like, yes, oh yeah, so yeah. My friends would
(23:04):
always say I went from my like giggle to my
cackle when I was pregnant, maybe because I couldn't breathe
for something, because it starts to affect. It would get
worse as the pregnancy went on. And now it just
never went away. It literally never went away. And now
I guess I don't know. Yeah, called age, I think,
(23:25):
but thought, you do make your voice go way up
when you are asking for help in a store, or
I know, I do get like a donna little voice
when I'm nervous and get anxiety, like and yeah, so
(23:47):
for instance, at a restaurant, I get nervous to order.
I'm getting better. I'm getting better now that you know,
I am not married anymore, and I have to order
for myself and my children. But I'm teaching them to order,
actually younger, so that I they don't it doesn't happen
(24:10):
what happened to me, which you know, I grew up
like scared talk on the phone and like scared order
for myself. But uh yeah, when I order, I'm like,
I'll be like, hey, so whatever, and we'll be like
Ruth Anne and I are laughing, and they're like, maybe
take your order. I'm like, yes, that's the cheeseburger. I
(24:41):
know it says cheeseburger, but I don't feel entitled to
have cheese. Please please may I? Yeah, that's the voice.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
And then as soon as they thank you, thank you,
thank you so much, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, like for ordering,
and then they walk away and they walk away, and
I'm like, anyway, what were we talking about. It's true,
so true, it's so true, hilarious.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
They are handing podcasts out like coke in the eighties
at a rock and roll concert.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Wait, coke like coke or coke zero or diet coke, OH,
cocaine HM cool well, glad to be your new drug. Here,
I am
Miss Spelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. It's the weekend.
It's fun. Welcome to another edition of Miss Commentatory, the
weekend Edition. I'm really into fast food, so I'm gonna
(00:32):
say it limited time only here for the summer. Here
I am. I'm here all summer long. But it's the weekend,
and kicking off my weekend, I'm going to go right
into something that happened to me this morning. So I
pulled up to CBS because celebrities they're just like us.
(00:55):
We were on a toilet paper and that's not going
to be pretty, not just out of toilet paper like
we had gone through. I was like, okay, middle of
the night, hold please, a child comes in, get paper,
next child. It was like a revolving door of children
coming in. I'ming to take a shit, so I we said, no,
(01:19):
they're healthy. So I then moved on to wet wipes,
and then it was my turn this morning and there
was nothing left. So I was like, oh God, what
do I have? I'm not ashamed to say, uh, I
went for makeup wipes, nut Regina. They're great for your face,
(01:41):
not for your Enis that mother burned? I'm okay. Now
though anyway, pulled into the CBS had to go in
and get toilet paper for the family. As I pull in, uh,
it was like this guy came out of nowhere right
in my eyeland. And I was texting my kids saying,
do you need anything else while I'm here, because they
(02:01):
are notorious for oh I forgot to tell you we
needed this, or I forgot this. I wanted this, and
it's like, oh, you knew I was going. I was
right there. So I was texting them and a guy
appeared out of nowhere and weighed me down in my
eye line, and uh, I waved back, thinking do I
(02:24):
know this man? You know you look normal, wish And
so then he comes over to my car window and
I'm a people pleaser, I'm too nice to be like
sorry on the phone, can't And he tells me he
does the signal like roll down your window. So, of course,
when a stranger comes up to your window and startles
(02:45):
you and tells you to roll down your window, what
do you do? Rolled down my window? And he says
you're that actress and I said, yep, I am, And
he said, do you want to smoke a joint? And
I was like, oh my gosh, Ashton, Ashton, am I
(03:08):
being punked? Like what is this? Sorry? As my kids
tell me it's walk the plank now that's the new
version for their generation. So I'm like, uh no, no,
thank you. I'm actually here to get stuff from my kids.
I have five kids. I'm a mother. As if mothers
(03:30):
can't smoke joints, but I'm a mother, like that would
make them go away? And he goes, I need a
sugar mama. I'm like, yeah, don't we all? Don't we all?
I need sugar daddy, and he goes, I can connect
(03:52):
you with one. I have connections in Dubai. I'm not
gonna lie you guys. For half a second, I blankly
looked at this man, but in my head I was like, oh,
that could be an option. So he said, do you
want to exchange information? And I said no, I'm sorry.
(04:16):
I don't feel comfortable. But you know who I am?
He said I do, and I said, oh, if you
happen to slide into my DMS, maybe we can figure
this out. Yeah, do you want to smoke a joint?
(04:38):
I need a sugar mama, and I have connections. As
you buy three things, you don't hear on a morning
when you're just going to get toilet paper for your
kids to wipe the ast. Anyway, welcome to the weekend edition.
And I'm now going to go into comments questions. You
guys had so many badman you're on.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Why does she look like a bobblehead? I don't get it.
It's not an insult. She looks nice if you take
the parts separately, but together it's odd.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Huh. There are some compliments, backhanded compliments, and some insults
all in one. There I'm processing.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
By the way, they also say, and her fingers look
so tiny as well?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Oh, thank you. I do have tiny fingers. I have
really nice fingers. My mom was actually a hand model
little known fact. When she was young. I think in
her early early twenties, lateeen, she was a hand model.
And I believe I have her hands. So I do
have really nice hands. Anyway, that's just a side note.
(05:51):
When they are tiny. Uh, okay, bobblehead, I like bobbleheads. Wait,
what are the wait funko pops? What are those things? Oh?
Can we make a business out of that? Okay? If
I have a bobblehead, I could be a funko pop.
I could be oh, you know what, always turning lemons
(06:11):
into lemonchella would be nice right now. Okay, I've heard
that before. I've heard lollipop head, which I like lollipops. Oh,
by the way, if anyone's wondering, I feel like you're
that person. You're either, for instance, if you like licorice,
(06:34):
it's very telling about a human if they like black
licorice or red licorice. In my opine, and I steer
clear people that eat black licorice, I'm like, oh, feel
your energy all the way right here. Uh and yeah,
I feel like you can also tell totally different type
(06:57):
of thing. Tell a lot about people that suck on
lollipops or bite them. I'm a bier, just just so
you know, because I know you're all wondering. I just
think I'm a very very patient person, but not when
it comes to lollipops. I just want to get it done.
(07:17):
I just it tastes good. Oh I love it great, Okay, next,
get it done. Oh but bobblehead, Yeah, I think I
see this a lot online. They refer to people that
they feel like are thin, that their heads are too
big for their body. Well, I mean, I'm literally the
way now that I was since I was sixteen, So
(07:42):
I guess I was maybe it's maybe what is it?
Born that way?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah? Born that way?
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Maybeling no revelent, I'm thinking Lady Gaga. Oh, I was
giving the old school reference this way born like that?
Remember that perfume Charlie. Anyway, I digress. I don't know.
I guess my head's too big. I mean, I don't
(08:11):
know what to do like, but I don't fall over.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Damn. Okay, here are a few comments. I eat your butt?
Speaker 1 (08:21):
May I look at that? First of all, she said
I eat your butt, and it says I'd eat your butt.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I said you did. I heard I'd eat your butt.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Thank you? I wow? I mean not after, not after
the incident that occurred with my makeup points wiping my ass.
You wouldn't want to eat it, but but I'll reconsider
(08:57):
I kind of proper anema. Thank you? Oh like my cheeks.
I thought he's talking like my buttole, what does it
mean you got? Didn't he didn't specify, isn't he? It
could be a sheet through, it could be.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
A day through. Yeah, that doesn't that isn't specify it either.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Okay, So two person out there that said they'd like
to eat my butt, could you please clarify if it's
both cheeks, left cheek, right cheek or buttle. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
There are a lot of people in this world that
love you and pray for you. But self worship is
a sin. Movie stars are notorious for thousands of selfies
and their looks, but vanity is a sin.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Good you know, I don't have that. I have no
self confidence at all. Uh vain, No, Vein's not my
thing thanks to a lot of you out there. I
think the haters for that. Actually, I'll never be vain.
I'll never be into myself and never be like, oh
look at me, look at me because of you. Not
(10:10):
a positive note, Yeah, there's nothing positive there. But oh.
Referring to veins, I had the worst veins ever, like
the tiniest veins you could ever, and I think they're genetic.
I think I passed them on to my kids. I'd
rather that than like big bulging veins. I feel like
that's like a deep thing.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
She has a giant crevice between her tits.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I do I do? I get a lot of comments
about my cleavage. Is it cleavage, clavage? What is this?
I'm just kidding. Uh. So I get comments for years
about like fix that, Like that thing between your boobs?
(10:57):
What is it? It's like a gaping hole. So it's
actually a bone thing. It's called a pectus escavatum. I know,
I sound really smart right now, right. No, it's a
thing and it's genetic and it's where your bone one
side is higher. So I've actually was born with this. Yeah,
(11:22):
and it comes from someone in my family. I think
it's my mom's side. Anyway, three two, Two of my
children have it as well, and they're like thanks Mom.
I'm like, I'm like, hey, let's look at this. So anyway,
I could get fifty million boob jobs you guys, and
it wouldn't take this away. It's just like your bone
(11:45):
one side is higher and it curbs in. So it
ain't about the tips. Positive note that I have not
shared with my kids, but I will when they are
of age.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
It makes for a hell of a party trick. Let
me just tell you. I can hold a glass, I
can hold a bottle. You know. I was the life
of the party in my twenties, like literally, like you know,
the guys thought it was so funny, like, oh, she
can hold a beer bottle between her boobs, and I
was like beer bottle, bring out the champagne. Uh yeah,
(12:26):
so I can. I can pretty much hold up anything
in between my boobs. So it's good. It also comes
in handy when I'm carrying things because I can just
put something there and then it's like I have three hands.
Uh and uh here. I'll actually demonstrate it right now,
my sugar free red bull. Oh you know what, that's lame.
(12:51):
I'm a podcast host.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Let me do this.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Who needs a stand when you've got esca bars? What
is it?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Data?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Pedro Escobar?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
What is it there? You go?
Speaker 1 (13:05):
I mean besy.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Not many podcast hosts can do that. Take that. Joe Rogan,
look at that.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
I think he would happily take that.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Oh you know what I meant. There's your social clip
and scene.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Everyone's entiled to a middle life crisis?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Where are they referring them? Are they trying to say
I'm having one? I'm having one for years? Are you kidding? Oh? Yeah?
Is that a real thing that people have midlife crisis?
I don't think I'm having one. I think I'm had
(13:45):
one still in it. I don't ever want to come
out of it because I'm having fun.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Okay, what is the last thing anybody would think you
having your refrigerator healthy food? I think they're looking for
something a litttle more unusual.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Uh okay, I mean I have every pickle under the sun.
It's odd or pickle people awesome. They would think that
would have the refrigerator hmmm, I don't know. I will
comment on the last thing they would think I have
in my freezer though, and that would that'd be my placenta.
(14:29):
Unsure which child. There's two in there, so unless I
have like the biggest placenta in the world, there's two
vats in there. And this is normal, you know, because
there's all that fancy stuff you're supposed to They say
it's good luck to eat it, or it's good luck
to bury it, or it's good luck to you know,
have it sent and made into that powder and they
(14:51):
put into pills and I'm just too lazy to send
it out. Everything's throwing up right now in your mouth. Yeah, Laurie,
it's the thing, right, I mean, yes, yeah, people do.
I feel like they mat they it's supposed to be good.
It's something that is good for your body, and they
take it out of your body, and it's good to
(15:13):
put it back in your body.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Probably not stored in your freezer for too long though,
how long has it been in there.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I'm trying to think which one's in there. I'll have
to check after this podcast.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I mean your your youngest is seven.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, I'm really sorry to my best friend Jess because
his is still in her freezer. And I am let's
you know, you want to talk good friends. She came
to the hospital obviously the day Bo was born. She's
come to the hospital readbirth, so of you, so of you.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Except I didn't pick the placenta home with me.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Well, because I would never ask you to take the
placenta home with you because you would be grossed out,
like you're grossed out right now. But I said, Jess,
because I had a c section and we had had
complications and bo, I think Bo did bowhead John disne
(16:12):
he had something. We had to stay in the hospital
for a bit, And I said, Jess, can you take
the placenta home because they've given it to me and
I don't know what to do with it. So she,
like a proper best friend, does did take it?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Home.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
I feel like she has asked me a few times
over the last seven years to take that back, and
I say, yep, next time I'm there, and then I don't.
I don't take it back, but I'm going to. I'm
going to one day. So the ones in my freezer
currently we move a lot. So unfortunately a couple got lost.
But imagine that you guys like they got lost or
(16:52):
left at some rental someone like opens up a freezer
tory spelling PLACEA Wow, that'd be interesting. You put on eBay.
You'd have to like dry ice it, though to ship,
I don't know. Shipping might be wild, so maybe someone
wouldn't buy it. What would they pay for that? Any who? Uh?
(17:17):
One time at our camp and how crazy as a
camp my ex I was on board. Uh. We cooked
the placenta, oh my god. Uh huh and eat it?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
How very primitive of you?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
People do it all the time. And Deans an amazing chef.
So I mean it was like.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Little truffle oil, dut, little salt and pepper.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Yes, oh lemon, oh good, I'm gonna give you the
crpant one. You're gonna cook this one for me? Perfect?
Our next best he did tonight. Yep, no, no, no,
we he did. He cooked it and season did and
it was it was actually really good. And it's like,
you know, it's like cooking liver, and I hate liver,
(18:15):
so that's a bad reference. I like chocolate liver, cook liver. Hey,
my mom taught me when I was young, try take
one bite, try everything once. If you don't like it,
you don't eat it again. And I believe in that philosophy.
I have carried it through with my kids. When we're
at a restaurant and something comes like ew, what is
that that doesn't look good? I say, take one paint.
(18:39):
If you don't like it, don't eat it. You can
spit it out. Just take it and you might enjoy
the taste and don't look at how it looks and
judge it by that, like don't judge a book by
its cover, or don't judge me by me. You know,
same philosophy. Because uh, that goes back to when we
were in pairs when I was eleven and my mom said, oh,
(19:05):
do you want to try this? And I said what
is it? And she said, sweetbreads.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Take a bite.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it.
Same thing. Yeah, So technically she did tell me what
it was, but didn't clarify what it was. So I
took a bite. I actually liked it, and that's when
she told me it was what are sweetbreads?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
Brain?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
It's like the ballamous gland. Look at the big brain
on tea. Not just a bobblehead with gaping cleavage.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
She has a big brain filling that bobblehead.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Yeah yeah, Oh my god, it's so true. That's me.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Doesn't she have about a dozen kids? Oh?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Man? Yeah, if I had started younger, I'm telling you
I would, I'd have a whole what is it sports team?
Hockey team, I don't know, I hate sports. I would
have an all uh litter. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Stop with verbal masturbation.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I've never heard that. Is that a thing?
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
You guys, what that person thinks I talk too much?
I'm doing a podcast? Aren't? Is not? Who else would
talk if I didn't talk? A verbal masturbation?
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Is that like when someone like over talks and like
and they're talking to you and you're like, oh, they
just eer rate me. So me alone? Just verbal masturbation
because it's oh, I'm alone doing it all. I like
that one sorry, I won't stop, can't stop. So wait, wait, wait,
(20:53):
I have a question. So, if you're likening it to
masturbation and it's verbal, what would be the verbal version
of squirting. I'm asking for a friend, I'm asking for
a ruthan ruthan.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Yeah, I'd like to know.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Wait, I feel like the verbal masturbation form of squirting
would be I mean, that's vomiting, but that's gross. That's
a whole different kink.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Wait.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Uh, spitting, spinning, spinning, ooh, like drooling. So, oh my gosh,
I'm verbally masturbating. Oh I'm drooling all over myself, salivating, spelling,
(21:40):
that's me salivating.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I can do better. I'll think of it later.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
What is going on with her voice? She must chain smoke?
Fr FR?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
What is fr FR? I don't smoke, you, guys, I've
never smoked.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I mean maybe time.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
I'm a girl that like occasionally, like since I was
like in my twenties, Like if everyone's out drinking and
like having a cigarette, I'll have like a cigarette, but no,
not a smoker.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Why, oh my gosh, you guys, my voice because it's changed.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Mh.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
So my friend said that my laugh changed. Every time
I was pregnant, I would get the cackle. I'm not kidding,
Uncle Scotty. May he rest in peace. He had said
he knew one time when I was pregnant and I
hadn't told him yet. I was going to tell him
that night at dinner, and he said something because he
(22:41):
always made me laugh, that made me laugh, and I
busted out laughing, and he said, that's the pregnancy cackle. MoMA,
are you pregnant? And I was like, like, barely. I
had just taken the test, like peak test, and I
was like, yes, oh yeah, so yeah. My friends would
(23:04):
always say I went from my like giggle to my
cackle when I was pregnant, maybe because I couldn't breathe
for something, because it starts to affect. It would get
worse as the pregnancy went on. And now it just
never went away. It literally never went away. And now
I guess I don't know. Yeah, called age, I think,
(23:25):
but thought, you do make your voice go way up
when you are asking for help in a store, or
I know, I do get like a donna little voice
when I'm nervous and get anxiety, like and yeah, so
(23:47):
for instance, at a restaurant, I get nervous to order.
I'm getting better. I'm getting better now that you know,
I am not married anymore, and I have to order
for myself and my children. But I'm teaching them to order,
actually younger, so that I they don't it doesn't happen
(24:10):
what happened to me, which you know, I grew up
like scared talk on the phone and like scared order
for myself. But uh yeah, when I order, I'm like,
I'll be like, hey, so whatever, and we'll be like
Ruth Anne and I are laughing, and they're like, maybe
take your order. I'm like, yes, that's the cheeseburger. I
(24:41):
know it says cheeseburger, but I don't feel entitled to
have cheese. Please please may I? Yeah, that's the voice.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
And then as soon as they thank you, thank you,
thank you so much, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, like for ordering,
and then they walk away and they walk away, and
I'm like, anyway, what were we talking about. It's true,
so true, it's so true, hilarious.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
They are handing podcasts out like coke in the eighties
at a rock and roll concert.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Wait, coke like coke or coke zero or diet coke, OH,
cocaine HM cool well, glad to be your new drug. Here,
I am
Host
Tori Spelling
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