October 8, 2025 • 31 mins
Legendary model Jennifer Gimenez educates us about the dark side of the industry, from a model’s perspective.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Campsite Media.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
My name is Jennifer Menez and I am an actress, supermodel,
TV personality, addiction specialist, writer, and many other things. I
was born in California. My family's from Buenostartis, Argentina. My
parents decided to come to America have an American child
named me one of the most common names, Jennifer, and
raised me back in Argentina.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
When Jennifer Hejimenez stepped into Paul Fisher's office on Hollywood Boulevard,
she was so young, and as you can tell from
her list of accomplishments, she's had a lot of hard
won success since that day. She's had a career at
the top of the modeling industry and the kind of
life story that qualifies you to be an addiction specialist.
(00:48):
She's also been very famous on the cover of countless magazines.
She's been in movies with Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp
like blow, oh No, don't make it, Don't make you.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So, Jennifer's got.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Quite a resume, and it all started very young.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I grew up in you know, in the late eighties nineties,
like what little girl didn't want to be Miss ye say,
miss you know missie for a model, an actress to
something you know, And I was a lot. I was
a lot taller than the average kid in my age.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Jennifer began modeling in the early nineties.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I always say I just got the cabbage doll ripped
out of my arms, you know, a year prior to that.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Within a short time, she's living in a moment that
feels like pure fantasy. She's getting mobbed by adoring classmates
on the playground because she's on the cover of L magazine.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I come back to sign up to school, to register
to start school, and at a public high school, my
public high school where.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I went, and everyone came running with a magazine and
I had no idea I was coming out that.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Day, and it was just like a surreal moment, like wait,
what what.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
At that moment, Jennifer feels like she's made it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Now.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
All she has to do is stand magazine covers, make
sure to keep looking skinny once her body decides to
grow boobs, keep the modeling checks coming, support her family,
learn how to walk in high heels, maybe talk to
a cute boy in school, someone enough confidence to get
photographers and their assistants to stop groping her during shoots,
(02:32):
decide whether to keep Paula's an agent, hide her drug habit,
score more drugs, and deal with the trauma of sexual assaults.
But she'll have plenty of time for that. She's only
a teenager after all. From iHeart Podcasts and Campsite Media,
I'm Vanessa Grigoriantas and this is Model Wars Episode six.
(02:59):
So in this episode we're going to flip the tables
a bit. We've been talking so much about men and
their control of the industry, but now we're going to
give Jennifer the mic so that she can tell her story.
And it's a story of what success in the modeling
industry really means. And as I said last time, it
(03:20):
is a bit darker than most of these kinds of stories,
but at the same time, it's worth you hearing, and
it may make you a little sick about the entire
idea of this industry. But maybe then you can root
for Paul to get to that point too, because after Jennifer,
he'll be well on his way to that point of
(03:40):
view as well. So here's Jennifer's story, beginning with her
childhood in Argentina.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
In Argentina, while the neighbors come over. You call everyone
aunt's uncles, even if they're not, you know, and you
always have late night dinners. And I remember in the
backyard in my grandparents' house they have till this day,
they have this long table backyard, and I remember the
table being filled with food and there was.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
So much food on the plate. The visual I.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Remember seeing till this day is my parents and everyone grabbing.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Drinks and the Morley poured the morally drank that more.
They had fun. I remember people having a great time.
My family was filled with lots of love, lots of parties.
I remember seeing people dancing with each other.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I remember just feeling the feeling of joy seeing my
mom and dad dancing with each other, smiling at each other.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Even saying I love you to each other.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
And I'm so glad I have that memory because in
the end, that was not their story, but that was
my story to share it, you know, and it's my
memory to keep.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Jennifer says that even as a little kid, she knew
she wanted to be a model, but in the United States,
she just felt like she didn't fit in.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
My parents realized when I was around six and a
half years old, I'd have more opportunities in America than
in Argentina. So my parents sacrificed everything in their friends
family's careers and we moved back to California. And growing
up in La, I do not look like it's a
La girl at all. And I didn't know English. I
had to learn English in school, and as children are
very absorbent and very observed, we observe a lot. And
(05:08):
I remember seeing a lot of cliques in school and
like there was no clique I could fit into to
save my life. And I remember this one day, in
my broken, thick accent, I turned to like the two
coolest girls in school and I wanted to be like that,
I'm so bad, you know. And we were in line,
and I remember I looked over and I just turned
to their direction, and I remember, in my broke, thick accent,
(05:29):
broken English, I said to them that I had the
secret that I wanted to tell them. It was really
important for me to tell them. They looked at me
so annoyed, like what I mean, please, Like what do
you want to tell us?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Like? And I was like it' said I have a
twin sister.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
In my thick, broken accent, you know, and I was like,
she has blonde hair, blue eyes.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Her name's Natalie.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
She lives in England because she's studying abroad. And they
were like, oh my god, why didn't you tell us
about that.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
They're like, come on, hang out, come hang out with us.
We want to be with you at a I don't
have a twin sister, b I lied my way through childhood.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
And see, I got accepted into a group of cool people.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know, I did anything to fit in.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
This girl who has to con her way into fitting
in starts growing up and people start telling her parents
that she should be a model, and soon she and
her mom start interviewing agents. One of them, of course,
is Paul.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I was introduced to go see Paul Fisher at East
West and I wore this bright ass like as bright
as my scarf, blue like mc hammer pants and like
just as baggy top. It was awful and I matched
my eyelash, my eyeshadow with the thing. And now I'm thirteen,
So I'm thirteen putting blue on. Imagine the blue is
(06:41):
like everywhere and I walk in and I had high heels.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
On, like I comparently fuck, you know, like folding onto
the walls.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
And I'm coming in trying to look super hot, like
I don't even know what hot is at thirteen, but
I'm trying to act like I do.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
And he walked I walked in, and.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I swear I thought I saw you work, Like I remember,
he looked like mad you work back in.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
The day, you know, And he.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Was like so cool, so swab like so mysterious looking.
I mean again, I'm thirteen. He had this it factor
at that time. I didn't know, but it was like
this coolness, you know. And he looks at me and
he's like, I go, Hi, I'm Jennifer Medics and he goes, Hi,
go take off your eyeshadow, go get rid of all
your makeup and then come back in here.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And I was like what. So he made me take
up all my makeup to come back and see him,
and I went through the room. I took all Megavov
and he's like, now I see you.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
And our relationship started like that. It was instant and like,
I don't know, we just connected.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Right after Jennifer met Paul, things were moving quickly. She
booked her first gig with a major fashion photographer.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Bruce webber Is, who I dedicate my I think for
changing my life. It happened to have been my brother's
birthday that day, and my mom was very hesitant, but
she had heard for so long you should get your
daughter into model, and you should get your daughter into modeling.
And you know, I come Vinceo my mom that night
to let me show up.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
The next day.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
And when I met him, he was like, he reminded me
a Papa Smurf because he wears a scarf, and he
was just a giant teddy bear to me.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And he was so sweet and.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
So endearing, and I felt such a great connection with him.
And I remember when it was tied for me to
stand and look front of the camera, it was like,
for the first time in my life, I felt like
I belonged.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
You know, all those years of my life, I didn't
believe like I ever fit in anywhere.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And there I am in front of the lens and
I was home, you know, I was home. It was
It was a pretty like beautiful moment for me, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And I remember Bruce was like, oh my god, I'm
in love.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I need to have her. I need to have her.
She's staying with me or keeping her. And everything changed
in that instant moment, you know, my life completely changed.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
So Jennifer's been shot by the big photographer, Bruce Weber,
and now she's getting lots of interest from magazines and
Paul is managing her career.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Paul's tactic as an agent, he was very straightforward. He
did not sugarcoat anything, like when he was like, high,
nice to meet you, go take your makeup off, like
I mean, like you just can't.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Get as more matter of fact as that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And he was just not filled with bullshit, excuse my language.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And you know, my mom and I we didn't know
any better.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Again, like when we were first we met with all
these agencies, and then like when we were going to
go to Paris, all these agencies from Paris flew out
to meet me and my mom and they'd drive out
to West Covina and Sangerfali in La and come pick
me up and my mom and then we go to
La and have dinner.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And the Drava was back down and it was just
a little like so real.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
But because I had met so many people, they were
just so extra sweet and extra promising and extra shore
that they can guarantee.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
All these things, and it kind of got.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Us extra scary, you know, like it just got scared
because we weren't hearing that from Pom. I just felt
really safe for them. It wasn't an over cell or
an overkill, you know.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
So young Jennifer felt that Paul was her protector, and
she went on to find other people in the industry
to also fill that role.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
And I was able to relate with people, and there
was there was somebody I remember when I first started
mudeling in Naomi Campbell.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I mean Naomi and I.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Became really good friends, and like she really kind of helped.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
She helped me.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Immensely, like understand like the teenage years, like no one
was really teaching me.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Now I'm working.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Against like models that are in their twenties, like you
know that are like renowned, huge, iconic supermodels, and you
know I'm there, so I'm a threat to take their
jobs away.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So they're going to treat me crappy and so like
I was, you know, instead of.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Learning, I had to learn to fight for myself. Like
I had to learn to fight. And I don't mean
like fistfight, I mean like I had to learn to
stand my ground because girls can beat you down, and
especially when you're in that like realm of like you know,
the top of the top girls. And again I was
just kind of like some of them, some of them
models really shocked me. The ones that like are the
(11:11):
biggest iconic ones, You're like, you're not cool?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
What that so sucks?
Speaker 3 (11:15):
You know? But then you have other ones that were
like incredible and like, I'm so eternally grateful, like Elle
mc spheerson, Naomi Linda Christy Turlington.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
So many girls taught.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Me how to walk on in high heels, like on
the runway, because I walked my first runway at as
a Jane Alaiah.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
When I did it and they were like, do you
know how to walk in heels?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I was like, I stand in the heels for the
photos and they're like, do you know how to walk
in them?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Like not really. I go on to walls because I.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Tell her about like seatball pulling on the walls, and
all these girls taught me how to walk on the
runway and so I come.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Out and I'm lazing at Paul my mom, and I'm like,
I know, I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Like as an Eliah like the sexiest of all sex
like designers. You know, everyone aspires to be like Asdina
Liyah was back in the day, and I'm like totally
turning into like a team, like hi, guys, like I'm
on American pants and look at me kind of thing,
and you know, they took it, and they were so
the audience and the press were really kind with me.
(12:13):
You know, They're like, this innocent girl that you know,
got it kind of brings a delight to him.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Jennifer was the face of innocence in a way, as
most thirteen year old models would be, but she was
growing up very quickly. Jennifer followed Paul when he was
fired by East West and started his own agency it
(12:42):
but then after a couple of years with Paul, Jennifer
and her mother made the decision to leave Paul for Elite,
the agency that was founded by John Casablancis.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I knew John well and he was charming.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
He was nice, he was magical, but he liked to
hang out with a lot of little girls.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
I think we mentioned earlier that John Pasablanciz had a
relationship with Stephanie Seymour when she was sixteen, and she
wasn't the only young woman he was with. But thankfully,
Jennifer was not one of those underaged girls. Still a
couple of years into modeling, her childhood felt like it
was officially over.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
The abnormal became the new normal for me, you know,
and I was being looked at from the moment I
started as an object.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Even in school, she felt like she stuck out.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Well, once I started realizing that some of it, it
wasn't fun all the time, and like getting bashed when
you're a teenager, it's not the funnest feeling, you know,
like you're already getting bashed at school anyways.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Everyone is right, like we all get like made fun
of somewhere.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I'm already the tall girl in school now, in the
model in school, now in the model. It's on you know,
in magazines and TV shows and like on TV or
commercials or music videos, and you know, I'm already I'm
ready dealing with that end. And then I have trauma
growing up, you know, from my childhood, traumas with my
family that I'm having to deal with because I have
mental health in my family. I had an addiction in my family,
(14:15):
people suffering, and you know, I uh, it was you know,
it was a lot. And then I'm being bashed for modeling.
I mean, now I'm the provider of my family, and
I'm taking care of my mom, and I'm clothing and
feeding and taking care of my brother.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
There's a lot of responsibilities that are coming to me.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
And I was too afraid that when the dark things
were happened to me, when my mom wouldn't be able
to go with me, I was too afraid to come
home and tell them what was going on because I
knew that if they found out, they'd immediately remove.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Me from what was happening.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
And then I felt very responsible because I would think
who would take care of us? Then, you know, again,
I felt very responsible as a child at a.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Very young age.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
And it wasn't that they made me feel responsible, was
that I took that role on, you know, And that
was just the way life happened. And all of a sudden,
I'm trying to run the show in my house and
like I'm trying, you know, and it's like I'm a kid,
you know, and I'm like trying, and then there's this
chaos happening there, and then the chaos in the modeling world.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
I mean, my head was tripping, you know, Like who
am I like?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
And they told me it was only as good as
my next job cover campaign.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So I'm like, am I worth anything? You know, Like
it's all this stuff, but.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yet I'm at the top of my game and I'm
talking like there is a point where it's like Victoria's
Secrets catalogs. I'm working at Vogue at this and my
voice still didn't matter, and you would have.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Thought that it would.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
And with all these pressures, it became very hard for
Jennifer to say no to anything. I'm just going to
let her talk about it for a little while.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
That was like the sad part of it all, you know,
because we're working with the best of the best. You know,
There's been so many times I've been promised, for.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Example, that like I shot news right, like it's an
art for me.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
It's not like I wasn't shooting it for play, but
you know, I wasn't shooting it for Panheals. But I remember,
you know, being told i'd have like i'd be safe,
I'd have females on set that I would have, you know,
there wouldn't be any weird things going on or anything.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It was I show up and they'd be all males.
You know me, what am I going to tell them?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Like I don't want to do this, that I'd get fired,
you know, that I'd get canned from my agency.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I mean, like they can you know. That's the thing
with modeling is that you are so afraid that you're.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Either going to be dropped or that like you know,
weren't doing enough that you can't like you're not good enough,
And every single moment and every casting you're being rejected.
It's the most rejected you know, industry possible that in Hollywood,
you know, acting like every day it could be the
best actor of the best model, but like if you're
not what they're looking for, it's like, you know, that's
not your fault, but you get you feel like it's
(16:39):
your fault. Right, So you know, you're like constantly trying
to compare it to yourself, to outside things that you
can never compare yourself to. So it becomes a little
very it becomes confusing, to.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Say the least.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
But there is a lot of bad encounters with photographers.
You know, there was a lot of bad encounters. I remember,
you know, they promised me what I made equivalent to
what would be a million dollars today.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
In Tokyo. I went on a huge.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Contract for a month and a half, and I was
supposed to live with the agents, and I was supposed
to have a chauffeur and the whole thing. And I
get there and there's no agent i'm living with. I'm
actually living in a male model's apartment building. I turned
my sweet sixteen there.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
They throw me a big party.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
And when I go to my birthday party for my
sweet sixteen, I'm at some Japanese billionaire playboy's house.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
There's all these beautiful artworks and all these old.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Men and they're all Japanese, and there's all these models
and all the agents, and all the models said I
was their best friend. And I can't remember one of
their names. The agent said I was their favorite.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
I just there was their favorite because I made the
money at that moment, that's all. And I remember asking, like,
what's this painting? And they're like Picasso, and I'm like,
what's Picasso?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Like I don't know anything. I'm a kid again.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
And these pictures of I have, I'm smiling and I'm
blowing out my candle and I look.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
So happy, and I'm so lonely.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
All I was doing was calling my mom and my
friends up and saying like there was like towards prom,
some spring formal or something, and I remember going like,
what do you guys wearing, like, Oh, I wish I
was there, Like I wish I was at my school
dance instead of being worked twenty two hours a day
because I had a contract to fill. So it was like,
you know, gets your job done. And it was just
(18:28):
so surreal. I mean, those are like the kind of moments.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
That I had. And you know there was other times.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
My mom you know, I wouldn't go with me and I.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Was sexually assaulted.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You know, on sets I was sexually assaulted in different countries.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
That it started, you know with the.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Little girl being this and that and like the oohing
and the ayeing at a.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Really young age is a weird thing.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
The you know, they come by you and they kind
of just touch you and like it's a little like, oh,
let's fix this bit. You know, your boobs are being
touched or your butt's being touched, and.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
It kind of starts out like.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
That, I mean in the midst of me being happy
and go lucky, and it's like so innocent, like you know,
in my eyes, I think it's all innocent.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I remember I was shooting with Jelle.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Bensimon and I was doing L another L I don't
remember which one it was, and I was in this
really beautiful dress and.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I was on my hands and knees.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
They were doing a cover test and he was from
like way in front of me, like like ten feet
in front of me, and he's shooting from down up
and we did some cover tests and we did that photograph. Well,
when the magazine came out, it's me and on all fours.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
And I looked like, come fuck me. I'm like at fourteen,
you know, Like but that's it.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Was so innocent when we were on set, like there
was do you know what I mean. We were having
these innocent moments, but it didn't look like that on paper,
you know, when the photographs came out, and then, you.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Know, my mom at times couldn't come.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
So I started experiencing a lot of bad things and
dark things, and a lot of sexual assault, you know,
and a lot of men thinking that it's okay, just
go ahead, like touch the model.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You know. I remember the agencies, not again.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Paul, but I remember my other agencies would say we
have a model dinner, and especially when you're out of country,
like you go and you go to the model dinner,
so you feel like you're going to be safe and
they're going to feed you, and you're excited about eating ooh.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Which is like a no go in modeling.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
And I remember I would go to these things and
it was like you had to wear the smallest, tightest
little dress, your little black dress, and you know, show
your boobs, and you know, always show your legs, and
that's just how you were, you know, but that's not.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Who you are.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
So there's a moment that sticks out to Jennifer from
this period of her life. She'd just gotten back from
having her sixteenth birthday at a fancy mansion in Japan.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
So I'm dealing with chaos at home.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I'm dealing with crazy agencies and modeling and traveling all
over the.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
World, and between trying to be a kid.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
I like that boy at school, and I can't like
them because I have to go away for a month
and I want to go and stay the night at
my girlfriend's house. Or I would love to go to
a football game, and I can't go to normal football
games because that there's no normalcy for me anymore. I
remember the teachers were really hard on me in school.
I remember this one teacher, drama teacher of all teachers,
(21:13):
and she was like, Oh, you think you're going to
get away with everything because you have a pretty face.
And I just looked at her like she has no idea.
I just came back from Tokyo. I've been sexually assaulted.
I'm paying for my family, like for us to survive.
And she's making fun of like me being pretty or
ugly or something like go fuck yourself, lady.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
So Jennifer is increasingly stressed, isolated, and abused, and she's
learning to take comfort anywhere she can find. When Jennifer
talks about addiction, you can tell she spent a lot
of years telling her story and recovery meetings, and a
(21:56):
lot of it began for her early, especially the drinking,
which she tied to her good childhood memories. In that
backyard in Argentina.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I took my first drink at twelve years old. I
wasn't modeling. I took my first drink. I was taking
care of my little brother. I looked over into my parents'
dining room and they had a liquor cabinet. I just
wanted to feel like they did in Argentina, because I
equate drinking the happy and it was warm and fuzzy,
and it kind of imploded in my stomach and all
of a sudden I felt like across of the jolly, green,
(22:28):
giant wonder woman.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
And she wrote drinking also helped her cope with professional pressures.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
So I was five six when I got discovered modeling,
and I'm five ten today. So my body I was
straight right, like straight leg I hadn't hit puberty, and
puberty kicked in high gear. And the curvier I got,
the taller I got, the more people were like, oh,
you can't be curvy, like you got to be skinnier,
and like to this day, honestly, if I see a
measuring tape, I fucking freak out.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I cringed, like I.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Can't take it because it just brought me so much
stress and it created such a wirdworld of madness in
my head throughout the years of modeling.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Every day, at.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
The top of my game, your hair is either too
short to blonde, too rent to brown, too too long
to this, your eyebrows are this far apart. I knew
every imperfection, even like getting the jobs like she's great,
can you lose like three more pounds.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
So like someone's always like kind of beating.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Me down with words. I can't change how I look.
I'm Latin, like I gap curves. I'm a curvey girl,
like you know, Boobs was like, don't even like you know,
let's don't grow please don't grow Around close to eighteen
years old, I tried cocaine for the first time, and
I got to tell you, cocaine gave me a heartbeat
(23:42):
like nothing else ever has.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
But it brought me to my knees in the end.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
But what alcohol and drugs were doing to me, it
was telling me and making me believe that that was beautiful.
Told me that I was invincible, would never leave me.
It told me it was me, It's my best friend.
It told me, you know, I'd never be abandoned. I
told me I was smart. It told me I was talented.
It told me I was you know, I was witty.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
It told me all these things until it stopped telling me.
Then I was in quest for more. The day that
I did my first line, I was hooked.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
And it also came in very very very handy because
the waiftbook came in and.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
The Cape Mosses of the world and all that. And
I was curvy, and I you know, I.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Had to be as skinny as possible.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I remember one day I was shooting. I think it
was a cattle.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I was shooting for Victoria Seekers. I remember looking at
the mirror in my fitting and I hadn't eaten five
days like and by this point, I haven't slept in
five days, like, I barely drink anything. And I looked
at the mirror and I saw this elephant man looking
back at me. It wasn't even me. It was like
this deformed shape thing looking at me. And I was
ANAREK six, skinny like two the nines cut.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Off like gorgeous, top of my game.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
But I saw this monster, this big monster, you know,
of my perception.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Despite all the drugs, Jennifer was able to keep her
career going, and she even broke into Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
I wanted to get into acting.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I started studying, and I get my first movie role,
and it's a movie called Blow with Johnny Depp. And
then I get Vanilla Skuy with Tom Cruise.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And then I get Charlie's Angels with Cameron Diaz, Threw Bary.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
More, Lucy Lou, I get Sweetest thing with Karen Diaz,
Jason Bateman, Selma.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Blair, Christina Apple Gay.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I'm doing all these things all of a sudden, I'm
the new it girl in Hollywood on the cover of
Latina back in Vogue, details like the it girl, like
all this stuff, and I can't stay sober.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
To save my life. I was sober in the beginning
to blow, not in the end.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And I'm trying to play it off like I'm hanging on.
You know, I've lost a lot of huge roles, a
model of acting roles because I was high and I
couldn't show up. And I'm still the it girl, like
I said, And my mom and my best friend come
to me, and they say that I need to go
get some help and I need to go to treatment.
And at this point I disconnected my jaw and a
(25:56):
gaged up moment, my jaws hanging, noses, dripping a lot
of everywhere in the house.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
That went by kind of quickly. Jennifer was saying she
dislocated her job while she was high on cocaine.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Forget showering on end, that like would go weeks on end,
I mean not doing it.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And I looked at them with my.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Job disconnected, blood dripping down, and I.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Said, treatments for losers, I am not going there, and
they were like, we can't, why you die like this.
It didn't go.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Very well for them, but it stuck with me, and
I ended up going to treatment a couple days later,
and I went for five days under my terms, five
days I needed to sleep and eat anyways, but I
had a whole master plan, like I was gonna go
back out there, but I was.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Going to use the way I was going to control it.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I was going to be under my terms, right, And
those five days lasted nine and a half months.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
While in rehab, Jennifer found out she was pregnant and.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I had to go through an R forty six afores
miscarriage and I signed the PaperWorks away that I had
to do that, and they told me not to connect
to that feeling, and of course I connected. I went
through contractions and all that for like twelve hours, and
it was a very brutal and painful thing, and I
wasn't feeling good afterwards for like two weeks, and I
kept begging my doctors at the treatment center so let
(27:06):
me go. And I kept asking to go to my
doctor in Beverly Hills. They finally let me go. I
found out I was like four and a half five
months pregnant, and I had to go through an emergency
DNC that day, and that doctor decided not to sedate me.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
So I saw and felt everything.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I've got a few months under my belve sobriety, you know,
and I'm laying.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
On this cold table and I'm asking myself.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
What am I doing on this table? What did I do?
And like how did I get here? And oh my,
you know, like that what happened?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Moment? I was like completely traumatized.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Two weeks later, I went back to see my Beverly
Hills fancy doctor from Cedar Sinine, and he decided to
check me with the wand and then he decided to
sexually assault me with that WAND.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
And I was.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
So petrified, you know, that this man that I just
entrusted with a moment something so devastating for me. And
I just remember going, Who's going to believe me? It
was just me and him. I'm in treatment, I'm a
drug addict. Who's going to believe the drug addict? I
was able to start talking about it probably a few
(28:10):
years later, you know, and like, because I need to
break my I need to break the cycle.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I need to break the silence for.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Women, and I need it helps me mainly, you know,
by talking about this, because men don't understand how bad
women have it sometimes, you know, and we have it
very rough. We have to hold for hold house, be
a mom, be a wife, be an employer, be a daughter,
be a sister, be an aunt.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Cousin something. We have many responsibilities, and we wear many hats.
Today we wear many masks.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
But one of the greatest thing is I can sit
here right now to you, speaking to you without a mask.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
And that's an accomplishment for any of us, but maybe
especially for a model. So I know that was a
heavy episode, and Jennifer knows it too.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
It's so weird because I can talk so dark and
a bit like I also can tell you it is
so beautiful and magnificent.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
And that seems to be true. Modeling is beautiful and magnificent,
and it can also be really dark. What I heard
from a lot of models when I was working on
this podcast is that half of them ended up being
okay through the experience of modeling, and half of them
ended up just a mess. It does make you wonder
(29:25):
about an industry that would leave half of its most
significant figures that battered. At least for Jennifer, she turned
her bad experiences around and she survived. Next time on
Model Wars, we're going to follow Paul as he becomes
a bigger agent than ever and starts to work with
(29:48):
even bigger supermodels.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
He always wanted more. He wanted more for people than
they wanted for themselves.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
And I walked into a nightclub one night and there's
and his freaking goofball Mook's bodyguards and friends and motorcycle guys.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I would meet someone in Milan. They go, what does
your mom and dad think of modeling? I go, I
don't didn't ask my mom and dad what they thought.
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Model Wars was a production of iHeart Podcasts and Campside Media.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts. Model Wars was executive produced and hosted
by Vanessa Gregoriotis. Our senior writer was Michael Kenyon Meyer.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Julia K.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
S Levine was our producer and reporter. Our senior producer
was Lily Houston Smith, and our assistant editor was Emma Simonoff.
We had story and production help from Shoshi Shmulowitz, Ali Haney,
and Blake Rook. Our production manager was Ashley Warren and
our studio recordist was Ewan Lei Tremuen. Sound design, mix
and engineering by Mark McCadam. iHeart Podcasts Executive producers were
(30:57):
Jennifer Bassett and Katrina Norbel. The show was also executive
produced by Rachel winter In. Campside Media's Josh Dean, Adam Hoff,
and Matt Share. If you'd like to access behind the
scenes content from Model Wars and Campside Media, please go
to join campside dot com. That's j O I n
C A, M P s I d.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
E dot com.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
If you enjoyed Model Wars, please rate and review the
show wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks so much for listening.
Campsite Media.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
My name is Jennifer Menez and I am an actress, supermodel,
TV personality, addiction specialist, writer, and many other things. I
was born in California. My family's from Buenostartis, Argentina. My
parents decided to come to America have an American child
named me one of the most common names, Jennifer, and
raised me back in Argentina.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
When Jennifer Hejimenez stepped into Paul Fisher's office on Hollywood Boulevard,
she was so young, and as you can tell from
her list of accomplishments, she's had a lot of hard
won success since that day. She's had a career at
the top of the modeling industry and the kind of
life story that qualifies you to be an addiction specialist.
(00:48):
She's also been very famous on the cover of countless magazines.
She's been in movies with Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp
like blow, oh No, don't make it, Don't make you.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
So, Jennifer's got.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Quite a resume, and it all started very young.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
I grew up in you know, in the late eighties nineties,
like what little girl didn't want to be Miss ye say,
miss you know missie for a model, an actress to
something you know, And I was a lot. I was
a lot taller than the average kid in my age.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
Jennifer began modeling in the early nineties.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I always say I just got the cabbage doll ripped
out of my arms, you know, a year prior to that.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Within a short time, she's living in a moment that
feels like pure fantasy. She's getting mobbed by adoring classmates
on the playground because she's on the cover of L magazine.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
I come back to sign up to school, to register
to start school, and at a public high school, my
public high school where.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I went, and everyone came running with a magazine and
I had no idea I was coming out that.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Day, and it was just like a surreal moment, like wait,
what what.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
At that moment, Jennifer feels like she's made it.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Now.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
All she has to do is stand magazine covers, make
sure to keep looking skinny once her body decides to
grow boobs, keep the modeling checks coming, support her family,
learn how to walk in high heels, maybe talk to
a cute boy in school, someone enough confidence to get
photographers and their assistants to stop groping her during shoots,
(02:32):
decide whether to keep Paula's an agent, hide her drug habit,
score more drugs, and deal with the trauma of sexual assaults.
But she'll have plenty of time for that. She's only
a teenager after all. From iHeart Podcasts and Campsite Media,
I'm Vanessa Grigoriantas and this is Model Wars Episode six.
(02:59):
So in this episode we're going to flip the tables
a bit. We've been talking so much about men and
their control of the industry, but now we're going to
give Jennifer the mic so that she can tell her story.
And it's a story of what success in the modeling
industry really means. And as I said last time, it
(03:20):
is a bit darker than most of these kinds of stories,
but at the same time, it's worth you hearing, and
it may make you a little sick about the entire
idea of this industry. But maybe then you can root
for Paul to get to that point too, because after Jennifer,
he'll be well on his way to that point of
(03:40):
view as well. So here's Jennifer's story, beginning with her
childhood in Argentina.
Speaker 3 (03:47):
In Argentina, while the neighbors come over. You call everyone
aunt's uncles, even if they're not, you know, and you
always have late night dinners. And I remember in the
backyard in my grandparents' house they have till this day,
they have this long table backyard, and I remember the
table being filled with food and there was.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
So much food on the plate. The visual I.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Remember seeing till this day is my parents and everyone grabbing.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Drinks and the Morley poured the morally drank that more.
They had fun. I remember people having a great time.
My family was filled with lots of love, lots of parties.
I remember seeing people dancing with each other.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I remember just feeling the feeling of joy seeing my
mom and dad dancing with each other, smiling at each other.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Even saying I love you to each other.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
And I'm so glad I have that memory because in
the end, that was not their story, but that was
my story to share it, you know, and it's my
memory to keep.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
Jennifer says that even as a little kid, she knew
she wanted to be a model, but in the United States,
she just felt like she didn't fit in.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
My parents realized when I was around six and a
half years old, I'd have more opportunities in America than
in Argentina. So my parents sacrificed everything in their friends
family's careers and we moved back to California. And growing
up in La, I do not look like it's a
La girl at all. And I didn't know English. I
had to learn English in school, and as children are
very absorbent and very observed, we observe a lot. And
(05:08):
I remember seeing a lot of cliques in school and
like there was no clique I could fit into to
save my life. And I remember this one day, in
my broken, thick accent, I turned to like the two
coolest girls in school and I wanted to be like that,
I'm so bad, you know. And we were in line,
and I remember I looked over and I just turned
to their direction, and I remember, in my broke, thick accent,
(05:29):
broken English, I said to them that I had the
secret that I wanted to tell them. It was really
important for me to tell them. They looked at me
so annoyed, like what I mean, please, Like what do
you want to tell us?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Like? And I was like it' said I have a
twin sister.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
In my thick, broken accent, you know, and I was like,
she has blonde hair, blue eyes.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Her name's Natalie.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
She lives in England because she's studying abroad. And they
were like, oh my god, why didn't you tell us
about that.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
They're like, come on, hang out, come hang out with us.
We want to be with you at a I don't
have a twin sister, b I lied my way through childhood.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
And see, I got accepted into a group of cool people.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
You know, I did anything to fit in.
Speaker 4 (06:06):
This girl who has to con her way into fitting
in starts growing up and people start telling her parents
that she should be a model, and soon she and
her mom start interviewing agents. One of them, of course,
is Paul.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
I was introduced to go see Paul Fisher at East
West and I wore this bright ass like as bright
as my scarf, blue like mc hammer pants and like
just as baggy top. It was awful and I matched
my eyelash, my eyeshadow with the thing. And now I'm thirteen,
So I'm thirteen putting blue on. Imagine the blue is
(06:41):
like everywhere and I walk in and I had high heels.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
On, like I comparently fuck, you know, like folding onto
the walls.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
And I'm coming in trying to look super hot, like
I don't even know what hot is at thirteen, but
I'm trying to act like I do.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
And he walked I walked in, and.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I swear I thought I saw you work, Like I remember,
he looked like mad you work back in.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
The day, you know, And he.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Was like so cool, so swab like so mysterious looking.
I mean again, I'm thirteen. He had this it factor
at that time. I didn't know, but it was like
this coolness, you know. And he looks at me and
he's like, I go, Hi, I'm Jennifer Medics and he goes, Hi,
go take off your eyeshadow, go get rid of all
your makeup and then come back in here.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And I was like what. So he made me take
up all my makeup to come back and see him,
and I went through the room. I took all Megavov
and he's like, now I see you.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
And our relationship started like that. It was instant and like,
I don't know, we just connected.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Right after Jennifer met Paul, things were moving quickly. She
booked her first gig with a major fashion photographer.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Bruce webber Is, who I dedicate my I think for
changing my life. It happened to have been my brother's
birthday that day, and my mom was very hesitant, but
she had heard for so long you should get your
daughter into model, and you should get your daughter into modeling.
And you know, I come Vinceo my mom that night
to let me show up.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
The next day.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
And when I met him, he was like, he reminded me
a Papa Smurf because he wears a scarf, and he
was just a giant teddy bear to me.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And he was so sweet and.
Speaker 3 (08:18):
So endearing, and I felt such a great connection with him.
And I remember when it was tied for me to
stand and look front of the camera, it was like,
for the first time in my life, I felt like
I belonged.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
You know, all those years of my life, I didn't
believe like I ever fit in anywhere.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
And there I am in front of the lens and
I was home, you know, I was home. It was
It was a pretty like beautiful moment for me, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And I remember Bruce was like, oh my god, I'm
in love.
Speaker 3 (08:50):
I need to have her. I need to have her.
She's staying with me or keeping her. And everything changed
in that instant moment, you know, my life completely changed.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
So Jennifer's been shot by the big photographer, Bruce Weber,
and now she's getting lots of interest from magazines and
Paul is managing her career.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Paul's tactic as an agent, he was very straightforward. He
did not sugarcoat anything, like when he was like, high,
nice to meet you, go take your makeup off, like
I mean, like you just can't.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Get as more matter of fact as that.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And he was just not filled with bullshit, excuse my language.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
And you know, my mom and I we didn't know
any better.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Again, like when we were first we met with all
these agencies, and then like when we were going to
go to Paris, all these agencies from Paris flew out
to meet me and my mom and they'd drive out
to West Covina and Sangerfali in La and come pick
me up and my mom and then we go to
La and have dinner.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And the Drava was back down and it was just
a little like so real.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
But because I had met so many people, they were
just so extra sweet and extra promising and extra shore
that they can guarantee.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
All these things, and it kind of got.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
Us extra scary, you know, like it just got scared
because we weren't hearing that from Pom. I just felt
really safe for them. It wasn't an over cell or
an overkill, you know.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
So young Jennifer felt that Paul was her protector, and
she went on to find other people in the industry
to also fill that role.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
And I was able to relate with people, and there
was there was somebody I remember when I first started
mudeling in Naomi Campbell.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I mean Naomi and I.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Became really good friends, and like she really kind of helped.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
She helped me.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Immensely, like understand like the teenage years, like no one
was really teaching me.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Now I'm working.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Against like models that are in their twenties, like you
know that are like renowned, huge, iconic supermodels, and you
know I'm there, so I'm a threat to take their
jobs away.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
So they're going to treat me crappy and so like
I was, you know, instead of.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Learning, I had to learn to fight for myself. Like
I had to learn to fight. And I don't mean
like fistfight, I mean like I had to learn to
stand my ground because girls can beat you down, and
especially when you're in that like realm of like you know,
the top of the top girls. And again I was
just kind of like some of them, some of them
models really shocked me. The ones that like are the
(11:11):
biggest iconic ones, You're like, you're not cool?
Speaker 2 (11:14):
What that so sucks?
Speaker 3 (11:15):
You know? But then you have other ones that were
like incredible and like, I'm so eternally grateful, like Elle
mc spheerson, Naomi Linda Christy Turlington.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
So many girls taught.
Speaker 3 (11:26):
Me how to walk on in high heels, like on
the runway, because I walked my first runway at as
a Jane Alaiah.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
When I did it and they were like, do you
know how to walk in heels?
Speaker 3 (11:35):
I was like, I stand in the heels for the
photos and they're like, do you know how to walk
in them?
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Like not really. I go on to walls because I.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Tell her about like seatball pulling on the walls, and
all these girls taught me how to walk on the
runway and so I come.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Out and I'm lazing at Paul my mom, and I'm like,
I know, I'm.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
Like as an Eliah like the sexiest of all sex
like designers. You know, everyone aspires to be like Asdina
Liyah was back in the day, and I'm like totally
turning into like a team, like hi, guys, like I'm
on American pants and look at me kind of thing,
and you know, they took it, and they were so
the audience and the press were really kind with me.
(12:13):
You know, They're like, this innocent girl that you know,
got it kind of brings a delight to him.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
Jennifer was the face of innocence in a way, as
most thirteen year old models would be, but she was
growing up very quickly. Jennifer followed Paul when he was
fired by East West and started his own agency it
(12:42):
but then after a couple of years with Paul, Jennifer
and her mother made the decision to leave Paul for Elite,
the agency that was founded by John Casablancis.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
I knew John well and he was charming.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
He was nice, he was magical, but he liked to
hang out with a lot of little girls.
Speaker 4 (13:04):
I think we mentioned earlier that John Pasablanciz had a
relationship with Stephanie Seymour when she was sixteen, and she
wasn't the only young woman he was with. But thankfully,
Jennifer was not one of those underaged girls. Still a
couple of years into modeling, her childhood felt like it
was officially over.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
The abnormal became the new normal for me, you know,
and I was being looked at from the moment I
started as an object.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Even in school, she felt like she stuck out.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Well, once I started realizing that some of it, it
wasn't fun all the time, and like getting bashed when
you're a teenager, it's not the funnest feeling, you know,
like you're already getting bashed at school anyways.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Everyone is right, like we all get like made fun
of somewhere.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I'm already the tall girl in school now, in the
model in school, now in the model. It's on you know,
in magazines and TV shows and like on TV or
commercials or music videos, and you know, I'm already I'm
ready dealing with that end. And then I have trauma
growing up, you know, from my childhood, traumas with my
family that I'm having to deal with because I have
mental health in my family. I had an addiction in my family,
(14:15):
people suffering, and you know, I uh, it was you know,
it was a lot. And then I'm being bashed for modeling.
I mean, now I'm the provider of my family, and
I'm taking care of my mom, and I'm clothing and
feeding and taking care of my brother.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
There's a lot of responsibilities that are coming to me.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
And I was too afraid that when the dark things
were happened to me, when my mom wouldn't be able
to go with me, I was too afraid to come
home and tell them what was going on because I
knew that if they found out, they'd immediately remove.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Me from what was happening.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
And then I felt very responsible because I would think
who would take care of us? Then, you know, again,
I felt very responsible as a child at a.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Very young age.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
And it wasn't that they made me feel responsible, was
that I took that role on, you know, And that
was just the way life happened. And all of a sudden,
I'm trying to run the show in my house and
like I'm trying, you know, and it's like I'm a kid,
you know, and I'm like trying, and then there's this
chaos happening there, and then the chaos in the modeling world.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
I mean, my head was tripping, you know, Like who
am I like?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
And they told me it was only as good as
my next job cover campaign.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So I'm like, am I worth anything? You know, Like
it's all this stuff, but.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yet I'm at the top of my game and I'm
talking like there is a point where it's like Victoria's
Secrets catalogs. I'm working at Vogue at this and my
voice still didn't matter, and you would have.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Thought that it would.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
And with all these pressures, it became very hard for
Jennifer to say no to anything. I'm just going to
let her talk about it for a little while.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
That was like the sad part of it all, you know,
because we're working with the best of the best. You know,
There's been so many times I've been promised, for.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Example, that like I shot news right, like it's an
art for me.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
It's not like I wasn't shooting it for play, but
you know, I wasn't shooting it for Panheals. But I remember,
you know, being told i'd have like i'd be safe,
I'd have females on set that I would have, you know,
there wouldn't be any weird things going on or anything.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It was I show up and they'd be all males.
You know me, what am I going to tell them?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Like I don't want to do this, that I'd get fired,
you know, that I'd get canned from my agency.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
I mean, like they can you know. That's the thing
with modeling is that you are so afraid that you're.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Either going to be dropped or that like you know,
weren't doing enough that you can't like you're not good enough,
And every single moment and every casting you're being rejected.
It's the most rejected you know, industry possible that in Hollywood,
you know, acting like every day it could be the
best actor of the best model, but like if you're
not what they're looking for, it's like, you know, that's
not your fault, but you get you feel like it's
(16:39):
your fault. Right, So you know, you're like constantly trying
to compare it to yourself, to outside things that you
can never compare yourself to. So it becomes a little
very it becomes confusing, to.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Say the least.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
But there is a lot of bad encounters with photographers.
You know, there was a lot of bad encounters. I remember,
you know, they promised me what I made equivalent to
what would be a million dollars today.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
In Tokyo. I went on a huge.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Contract for a month and a half, and I was
supposed to live with the agents, and I was supposed
to have a chauffeur and the whole thing. And I
get there and there's no agent i'm living with. I'm
actually living in a male model's apartment building. I turned
my sweet sixteen there.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
They throw me a big party.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
And when I go to my birthday party for my
sweet sixteen, I'm at some Japanese billionaire playboy's house.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
There's all these beautiful artworks and all these old.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Men and they're all Japanese, and there's all these models
and all the agents, and all the models said I
was their best friend. And I can't remember one of
their names. The agent said I was their favorite.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
I wasn't.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
I just there was their favorite because I made the
money at that moment, that's all. And I remember asking, like,
what's this painting? And they're like Picasso, and I'm like,
what's Picasso?
Speaker 2 (17:55):
Like I don't know anything. I'm a kid again.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
And these pictures of I have, I'm smiling and I'm
blowing out my candle and I look.
Speaker 2 (18:03):
So happy, and I'm so lonely.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
All I was doing was calling my mom and my
friends up and saying like there was like towards prom,
some spring formal or something, and I remember going like,
what do you guys wearing, like, Oh, I wish I
was there, Like I wish I was at my school
dance instead of being worked twenty two hours a day
because I had a contract to fill. So it was like,
you know, gets your job done. And it was just
(18:28):
so surreal. I mean, those are like the kind of moments.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
That I had. And you know there was other times.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
My mom you know, I wouldn't go with me and I.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Was sexually assaulted.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
You know, on sets I was sexually assaulted in different countries.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
That it started, you know with the.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
Little girl being this and that and like the oohing
and the ayeing at a.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Really young age is a weird thing.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
The you know, they come by you and they kind
of just touch you and like it's a little like, oh,
let's fix this bit. You know, your boobs are being
touched or your butt's being touched, and.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
It kind of starts out like.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
That, I mean in the midst of me being happy
and go lucky, and it's like so innocent, like you know,
in my eyes, I think it's all innocent.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
I remember I was shooting with Jelle.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
Bensimon and I was doing L another L I don't
remember which one it was, and I was in this
really beautiful dress and.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
I was on my hands and knees.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
They were doing a cover test and he was from
like way in front of me, like like ten feet
in front of me, and he's shooting from down up
and we did some cover tests and we did that photograph. Well,
when the magazine came out, it's me and on all fours.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
And I looked like, come fuck me. I'm like at fourteen,
you know, Like but that's it.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Was so innocent when we were on set, like there
was do you know what I mean. We were having
these innocent moments, but it didn't look like that on paper,
you know, when the photographs came out, and then, you.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Know, my mom at times couldn't come.
Speaker 3 (19:49):
So I started experiencing a lot of bad things and
dark things, and a lot of sexual assault, you know,
and a lot of men thinking that it's okay, just
go ahead, like touch the model.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
You know. I remember the agencies, not again.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Paul, but I remember my other agencies would say we
have a model dinner, and especially when you're out of country,
like you go and you go to the model dinner,
so you feel like you're going to be safe and
they're going to feed you, and you're excited about eating ooh.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Which is like a no go in modeling.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
And I remember I would go to these things and
it was like you had to wear the smallest, tightest
little dress, your little black dress, and you know, show
your boobs, and you know, always show your legs, and
that's just how you were, you know, but that's not.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Who you are.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
So there's a moment that sticks out to Jennifer from
this period of her life. She'd just gotten back from
having her sixteenth birthday at a fancy mansion in Japan.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
So I'm dealing with chaos at home.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I'm dealing with crazy agencies and modeling and traveling all
over the.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
World, and between trying to be a kid.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
I like that boy at school, and I can't like
them because I have to go away for a month
and I want to go and stay the night at
my girlfriend's house. Or I would love to go to
a football game, and I can't go to normal football
games because that there's no normalcy for me anymore. I
remember the teachers were really hard on me in school.
I remember this one teacher, drama teacher of all teachers,
(21:13):
and she was like, Oh, you think you're going to
get away with everything because you have a pretty face.
And I just looked at her like she has no idea.
I just came back from Tokyo. I've been sexually assaulted.
I'm paying for my family, like for us to survive.
And she's making fun of like me being pretty or
ugly or something like go fuck yourself, lady.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
So Jennifer is increasingly stressed, isolated, and abused, and she's
learning to take comfort anywhere she can find. When Jennifer
talks about addiction, you can tell she spent a lot
of years telling her story and recovery meetings, and a
(21:56):
lot of it began for her early, especially the drinking,
which she tied to her good childhood memories. In that
backyard in Argentina.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
I took my first drink at twelve years old. I
wasn't modeling. I took my first drink. I was taking
care of my little brother. I looked over into my parents'
dining room and they had a liquor cabinet. I just
wanted to feel like they did in Argentina, because I
equate drinking the happy and it was warm and fuzzy,
and it kind of imploded in my stomach and all
of a sudden I felt like across of the jolly, green,
(22:28):
giant wonder woman.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
And she wrote drinking also helped her cope with professional pressures.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
So I was five six when I got discovered modeling,
and I'm five ten today. So my body I was
straight right, like straight leg I hadn't hit puberty, and
puberty kicked in high gear. And the curvier I got,
the taller I got, the more people were like, oh,
you can't be curvy, like you got to be skinnier,
and like to this day, honestly, if I see a
measuring tape, I fucking freak out.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
I cringed, like I.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Can't take it because it just brought me so much
stress and it created such a wirdworld of madness in
my head throughout the years of modeling.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Every day, at.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
The top of my game, your hair is either too
short to blonde, too rent to brown, too too long
to this, your eyebrows are this far apart. I knew
every imperfection, even like getting the jobs like she's great,
can you lose like three more pounds.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
So like someone's always like kind of beating.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
Me down with words. I can't change how I look.
I'm Latin, like I gap curves. I'm a curvey girl,
like you know, Boobs was like, don't even like you know,
let's don't grow please don't grow Around close to eighteen
years old, I tried cocaine for the first time, and
I got to tell you, cocaine gave me a heartbeat
(23:42):
like nothing else ever has.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
But it brought me to my knees in the end.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
But what alcohol and drugs were doing to me, it
was telling me and making me believe that that was beautiful.
Told me that I was invincible, would never leave me.
It told me it was me, It's my best friend.
It told me, you know, I'd never be abandoned. I
told me I was smart. It told me I was talented.
It told me I was you know, I was witty.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
It told me all these things until it stopped telling me.
Then I was in quest for more. The day that
I did my first line, I was hooked.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
And it also came in very very very handy because
the waiftbook came in and.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
The Cape Mosses of the world and all that. And
I was curvy, and I you know, I.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Had to be as skinny as possible.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I remember one day I was shooting. I think it
was a cattle.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
I was shooting for Victoria Seekers. I remember looking at
the mirror in my fitting and I hadn't eaten five
days like and by this point, I haven't slept in
five days, like, I barely drink anything. And I looked
at the mirror and I saw this elephant man looking
back at me. It wasn't even me. It was like
this deformed shape thing looking at me. And I was
ANAREK six, skinny like two the nines cut.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Off like gorgeous, top of my game.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
But I saw this monster, this big monster, you know,
of my perception.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Despite all the drugs, Jennifer was able to keep her
career going, and she even broke into Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
I wanted to get into acting.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I started studying, and I get my first movie role,
and it's a movie called Blow with Johnny Depp. And
then I get Vanilla Skuy with Tom Cruise.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
And then I get Charlie's Angels with Cameron Diaz, Threw Bary.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
More, Lucy Lou, I get Sweetest thing with Karen Diaz,
Jason Bateman, Selma.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Blair, Christina Apple Gay.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I'm doing all these things all of a sudden, I'm
the new it girl in Hollywood on the cover of
Latina back in Vogue, details like the it girl, like
all this stuff, and I can't stay sober.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
To save my life. I was sober in the beginning
to blow, not in the end.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
And I'm trying to play it off like I'm hanging on.
You know, I've lost a lot of huge roles, a
model of acting roles because I was high and I
couldn't show up. And I'm still the it girl, like
I said, And my mom and my best friend come
to me, and they say that I need to go
get some help and I need to go to treatment.
And at this point I disconnected my jaw and a
(25:56):
gaged up moment, my jaws hanging, noses, dripping a lot
of everywhere in the house.
Speaker 4 (26:00):
That went by kind of quickly. Jennifer was saying she
dislocated her job while she was high on cocaine.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Forget showering on end, that like would go weeks on end,
I mean not doing it.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
And I looked at them with my.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Job disconnected, blood dripping down, and I.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Said, treatments for losers, I am not going there, and
they were like, we can't, why you die like this.
It didn't go.
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Very well for them, but it stuck with me, and
I ended up going to treatment a couple days later,
and I went for five days under my terms, five
days I needed to sleep and eat anyways, but I
had a whole master plan, like I was gonna go
back out there, but I was.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
Going to use the way I was going to control it.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
I was going to be under my terms, right, And
those five days lasted nine and a half months.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
While in rehab, Jennifer found out she was pregnant and.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I had to go through an R forty six afores
miscarriage and I signed the PaperWorks away that I had
to do that, and they told me not to connect
to that feeling, and of course I connected. I went
through contractions and all that for like twelve hours, and
it was a very brutal and painful thing, and I
wasn't feeling good afterwards for like two weeks, and I
kept begging my doctors at the treatment center so let
(27:06):
me go. And I kept asking to go to my
doctor in Beverly Hills. They finally let me go. I
found out I was like four and a half five
months pregnant, and I had to go through an emergency
DNC that day, and that doctor decided not to sedate me.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
So I saw and felt everything.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
I've got a few months under my belve sobriety, you know,
and I'm laying.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
On this cold table and I'm asking myself.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
What am I doing on this table? What did I do?
And like how did I get here? And oh my,
you know, like that what happened?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Moment? I was like completely traumatized.
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Two weeks later, I went back to see my Beverly
Hills fancy doctor from Cedar Sinine, and he decided to
check me with the wand and then he decided to
sexually assault me with that WAND.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
And I was.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
So petrified, you know, that this man that I just
entrusted with a moment something so devastating for me. And
I just remember going, Who's going to believe me? It
was just me and him. I'm in treatment, I'm a
drug addict. Who's going to believe the drug addict? I
was able to start talking about it probably a few
(28:10):
years later, you know, and like, because I need to
break my I need to break the cycle.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
I need to break the silence for.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Women, and I need it helps me mainly, you know,
by talking about this, because men don't understand how bad
women have it sometimes, you know, and we have it
very rough. We have to hold for hold house, be
a mom, be a wife, be an employer, be a daughter,
be a sister, be an aunt.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Cousin something. We have many responsibilities, and we wear many hats.
Today we wear many masks.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
But one of the greatest thing is I can sit
here right now to you, speaking to you without a mask.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
And that's an accomplishment for any of us, but maybe
especially for a model. So I know that was a
heavy episode, and Jennifer knows it too.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
It's so weird because I can talk so dark and
a bit like I also can tell you it is
so beautiful and magnificent.
Speaker 4 (29:03):
And that seems to be true. Modeling is beautiful and magnificent,
and it can also be really dark. What I heard
from a lot of models when I was working on
this podcast is that half of them ended up being
okay through the experience of modeling, and half of them
ended up just a mess. It does make you wonder
(29:25):
about an industry that would leave half of its most
significant figures that battered. At least for Jennifer, she turned
her bad experiences around and she survived. Next time on
Model Wars, we're going to follow Paul as he becomes
a bigger agent than ever and starts to work with
(29:48):
even bigger supermodels.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
He always wanted more. He wanted more for people than
they wanted for themselves.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
And I walked into a nightclub one night and there's
and his freaking goofball Mook's bodyguards and friends and motorcycle guys.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
I would meet someone in Milan. They go, what does
your mom and dad think of modeling? I go, I
don't didn't ask my mom and dad what they thought.
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
Model Wars was a production of iHeart Podcasts and Campside Media.
Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts. Model Wars was executive produced and hosted
by Vanessa Gregoriotis. Our senior writer was Michael Kenyon Meyer.
Speaker 3 (30:35):
Julia K.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
S Levine was our producer and reporter. Our senior producer
was Lily Houston Smith, and our assistant editor was Emma Simonoff.
We had story and production help from Shoshi Shmulowitz, Ali Haney,
and Blake Rook. Our production manager was Ashley Warren and
our studio recordist was Ewan Lei Tremuen. Sound design, mix
and engineering by Mark McCadam. iHeart Podcasts Executive producers were
(30:57):
Jennifer Bassett and Katrina Norbel. The show was also executive
produced by Rachel winter In. Campside Media's Josh Dean, Adam Hoff,
and Matt Share. If you'd like to access behind the
scenes content from Model Wars and Campside Media, please go
to join campside dot com. That's j O I n
C A, M P s I d.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
E dot com.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
If you enjoyed Model Wars, please rate and review the
show wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks so much for listening.
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