November 18, 2021 • 10 mins
Everyone's favorite therapist Soco joins Tanya to help with a letter from a soon to be married couple who cant seem to see eye to eye on investing into crypto together as a couple.
Tanya and Soco discuss about building wealth through crypto investments, combining wealth with your partner, diversifying your portfolio, and navigating the conversation about building wealth together as a couple.
Lets see what Tanya and Soco have to say about that.
Host IG: @itstanyatime
Guest IG: @yourfavoritetherapist
Learn more about Soco Rey's therapy at: https://www.socorey.com/
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, Money Movers, Welcome back to Money Moves, the daily
podcast determined to give you the keys to the Kingdom
of financial stability, wealth and abundance. Pay Money Movers and
welcome back to Money Moves. As we've learned, cryptocurrency can
(00:23):
be a really difficult thing for people to grasp. The
ways in which it seems abstract can cause anyone to
have a little bit of internal conference. But can you
imagine the ways in which that problem could be amplified
if you're trying to get involved in cryptocurrency with a
reluctant partner. Partnerships are never easy. Relationships are never easy.
But we here at Money Moves are here to help.
(00:45):
And also here to help is one of our favorite therapists.
She is a licensed clinical social worker who received her
master's degree from UC Berkeley and is the owner of
Soako Ray Therapy. Let's welcome back our favorite therapist, soak
Hi Soco, Hi, Tanya, Nice to be here again. I'm
excited about what we're going to discuss today. Oh, we're
(01:07):
going in today. So the question, Soco is whether or
not to combine finances when planning your future. And I'm
going to go ahead and read this question so that
we can dive in and help perhaps this happy couple
navigate the road to wealth, financial independence, and a long
lasting marriage. All right, okay, allow me to read dear
(01:36):
money Moves. My girlfriend soon to be fiance, and I
have been together for three years and we're considering the
next steps in our relationship and planning for the future.
As we've done that, we've begun to combine our financial responsibilities.
No joint accounts as yet, but we're sharing and figuring
out how to combine our financial profiles. That being said,
(01:56):
when all said and done, our combined savings is in
the high five digits. Not bad, guys. What do you
do when you have extra money? You try to turn
it into more? Oh my gosh, these are money movers.
All right, But here is the dilemma. We want to
invest in cryptocurrency together, but we disagree on which one
to invest in. Should we invest in one or should
(02:17):
we invest in many? My girlfriend suggested that maybe we
just split the money and each invest how we want
for ourselves. But that's the problem. I feel like the
goal is we're combining our finances, were combining our lives.
I'm getting ready to propose why would we not then
want to combine all of our investments, For one, there's
(02:37):
more purchasing power in that, and too, why does she
need things in her name alone? All right? He asks?
In closing, Am I bugging out? Okay? Sok? Another great
question for you, And I'm really excited to see how
you weigh in on this. So as a therapist, when
(02:58):
I hear stories and I would and with clients, I
have my own internal response, and then I have what
I know I should probably say. My first thought was
like linger, like, whoa that last? What was the last
sentence or the second last sentences? Um? Why does she
need things in her name? That's a sentence to me
(03:18):
that says what's really going on. He's feeling like his
idea of joining is not the same as hers, and
maybe he's experienced or something that she has some hesitation
to fully be in. So what I'm reading is possibly
some insecurity on his part or possibly her own hesitation
to fully merge in this relationship. Oh, I totally see that,
(03:41):
because there was a line that stood out for me,
and he's like, I'm getting ready to propose, why would
you want? And then he segued into things in your
name like that did feel a little bit heavy. It does,
and thanks to bringing that up to so she doesn't
know that they are getting married, so she's like, he's
expecting her to assume a role that she doesn't yet
know that is out there for her. Yes, it's complex,
(04:05):
there is. So let's bring it back to this idea
of cryptocurrency, because we've talked a lot about cryptocurrency on
this show, and I'm really passionate about advocating people of color, black, brown,
the Latin community to get involved in cryptocurrency and get
involved now because it's literally like taking a seat on
a spaceship to outer space in terms of being able
to build and accumulate financial wealth. So I'm excited that
(04:28):
they're considering cryptocurrency as a way to invest um But
there's some other themes in here that I think we'd
be remissed if we didn't talk about, because you know,
they're talking about should we just invest in one cryptocurrency
or should we invest in many? And they're differing on it.
What are your thoughts on this idea of like, hey,
we'd like to invest, but how do they navigate those
(04:49):
tricky conversations of exactly what to invest in. That's a
good question, and I'm not like some expert investor, but
I'm just thinking about the two stances. One person wants
to do it one way, the other person wants to
do wants to do it another. I think it's important
for each person to understand why the other person wants
to move the way that they want to move, and
(05:11):
then make the decision based on that. Which motivation seems
most important, Which motivation seems most real, Which motivation seems
like it needs to be honored the most in the relationship.
We've had a lot of cryptocurrency experts come on the show,
and they recommend that, you know, even if you're just
getting involved in cryptocurrency at the very early stages, you
(05:32):
look at diversifying your portfolio. So do the research. I
understand which coins are important to you. Um, you know
where you want to put your money, but diversify is
always a good idea. So I think this conversation and
I'll kick this to you as our relationship expert, of
how they navigate where they put their money. Do you
have any tips for them on how they can sort
(05:53):
of um navigate that you know, they can explore what
they want their decision making strategy to look like, and
I think it's unique to each relationship. One idea that
I just came up with is perhaps their agreement will
be that any investment is unanimous. We both agree and
that's how we do it, and then it can be plentiful.
(06:14):
Then it does doesn't have to be just one. It
can before that they all agree in. But maybe that's
the way that they want to move with their money,
or maybe they say the majority we invest together. Then
there's this many outside whatever they feel like, I feel
good for them. I think would be the best thing
to do, you know, I think that's such an interesting strategy.
Um And then adding the caveat of like this may change,
(06:34):
like we might come back and renegotiate this. You know,
one person might get more and more involved in investing
and be like, you know what, I'd like to hold
the reins. I'm doing really well here, and so just
being able to renegotiate those contracts I think will serve
them well in their relationship. But I always come back
to this piece of like does it always have to
be in agreement? You know? Could they allocate some set
(06:57):
of funds where and this might be really interesting because
I think you touched on this, like he feels like
he has to have a lot of the control here
where they can have like slush pots for each of them,
where you know, investing always has risk, where they can
each individually make some decisions and then come back together
and be like, I'm really passionate about this. I'm not sure,
(07:17):
but I think that's a really good idea. No, I
totally second that, And then I just I don't want
to like walk away without driving home the point that
there is some insecurity here about this woman not joining
him fully in the way he wants to be joined
that I think can be remedied through a conversation about
him stating the fear and what's coming up for him
(07:39):
and giving her the opportunity to share that it probably
isn't rooted in her being. Hesitance is how she wants
to move differently with her money. Sometimes we make up
stories in our head and we let them run and
they create chaos that in fact doesn't need to be creative.
That's right, Communicate and then know the real story. That's right.
And you know that last line of him going, am
I bugging? Like? Really, what he's saying is like I mean,
(08:01):
I think like there needs to be conversation here because
he's not actually expressing his feelings. He's just wondering if he's,
like you say, sitting there spinning this narrative in his
head going like am I bugging? Is something really going
on here? So conversation, conversation, conversation, and you know, tune
in again to money versus moves because we have the
experts SOCO here to give you those one two threes
(08:23):
on how you can navigate these challenging questions in your relationship.
SoC thank you again for being here and dropping stuffs
wisdom and pearls of relationship advice mixed in with money moves.
It's always a pleasure to have you. Tell us where
our folks at home can find you. You can all
reach me on Instagram at your favorite therapist. That's why,
(08:46):
oh you are favorite therapists. And thanks for having me Tanya.
It's always a pleasure. We love having you here and
money movers. If you want to get more information on
what we talked about here and the one two threes
of how you can and to your financial abundance with
the narrative of your relationship, please tune in. We recap
our blogs on the bank Greenwood dot com website, and
(09:08):
we'd love to hear from you, so please sign up
and send us your relationship questions for the next episode
of Money Versus Moves. Thank you so much for tuning
in Money Moves audience. If you want more or a
recap of this episode, please go to the bank Greenwood
dot com and check out the Money Moves podcast blog.
(09:31):
Stay tuned tomorrow from Guess you won't want to miss
say now. It is such a pleasure to have you here.
I'll never forget. My mother came with me to this
show in Detroit when the sixth Mile. It was at
a strip club, which even that would move for me.
I was like, Oh, I thought we would do in comedy,
but string. Once you see a G string, you don't
want to hear joke, you know. Money Moves is an
(09:54):
I heart Radio podcast powered by Greenwood Executive produced by
sun Wise Media, Inc. For more p podcast on iHeart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts from.
Hey, Money Movers, Welcome back to Money Moves, the daily
podcast determined to give you the keys to the Kingdom
of financial stability, wealth and abundance. Pay Money Movers and
welcome back to Money Moves. As we've learned, cryptocurrency can
(00:23):
be a really difficult thing for people to grasp. The
ways in which it seems abstract can cause anyone to
have a little bit of internal conference. But can you
imagine the ways in which that problem could be amplified
if you're trying to get involved in cryptocurrency with a
reluctant partner. Partnerships are never easy. Relationships are never easy.
But we here at Money Moves are here to help.
(00:45):
And also here to help is one of our favorite therapists.
She is a licensed clinical social worker who received her
master's degree from UC Berkeley and is the owner of
Soako Ray Therapy. Let's welcome back our favorite therapist, soak
Hi Soco, Hi, Tanya, Nice to be here again. I'm
excited about what we're going to discuss today. Oh, we're
(01:07):
going in today. So the question, Soco is whether or
not to combine finances when planning your future. And I'm
going to go ahead and read this question so that
we can dive in and help perhaps this happy couple
navigate the road to wealth, financial independence, and a long
lasting marriage. All right, okay, allow me to read dear
(01:36):
money Moves. My girlfriend soon to be fiance, and I
have been together for three years and we're considering the
next steps in our relationship and planning for the future.
As we've done that, we've begun to combine our financial responsibilities.
No joint accounts as yet, but we're sharing and figuring
out how to combine our financial profiles. That being said,
(01:56):
when all said and done, our combined savings is in
the high five digits. Not bad, guys. What do you
do when you have extra money? You try to turn
it into more? Oh my gosh, these are money movers.
All right, But here is the dilemma. We want to
invest in cryptocurrency together, but we disagree on which one
to invest in. Should we invest in one or should
(02:17):
we invest in many? My girlfriend suggested that maybe we
just split the money and each invest how we want
for ourselves. But that's the problem. I feel like the
goal is we're combining our finances, were combining our lives.
I'm getting ready to propose why would we not then
want to combine all of our investments, For one, there's
(02:37):
more purchasing power in that, and too, why does she
need things in her name alone? All right? He asks?
In closing, Am I bugging out? Okay? Sok? Another great
question for you, And I'm really excited to see how
you weigh in on this. So as a therapist, when
(02:58):
I hear stories and I would and with clients, I
have my own internal response, and then I have what
I know I should probably say. My first thought was
like linger, like, whoa that last? What was the last
sentence or the second last sentences? Um? Why does she
need things in her name? That's a sentence to me
(03:18):
that says what's really going on. He's feeling like his
idea of joining is not the same as hers, and
maybe he's experienced or something that she has some hesitation
to fully be in. So what I'm reading is possibly
some insecurity on his part or possibly her own hesitation
to fully merge in this relationship. Oh, I totally see that,
(03:41):
because there was a line that stood out for me,
and he's like, I'm getting ready to propose, why would
you want? And then he segued into things in your
name like that did feel a little bit heavy. It does,
and thanks to bringing that up to so she doesn't
know that they are getting married, so she's like, he's
expecting her to assume a role that she doesn't yet
know that is out there for her. Yes, it's complex,
(04:05):
there is. So let's bring it back to this idea
of cryptocurrency, because we've talked a lot about cryptocurrency on
this show, and I'm really passionate about advocating people of color, black, brown,
the Latin community to get involved in cryptocurrency and get
involved now because it's literally like taking a seat on
a spaceship to outer space in terms of being able
to build and accumulate financial wealth. So I'm excited that
(04:28):
they're considering cryptocurrency as a way to invest um But
there's some other themes in here that I think we'd
be remissed if we didn't talk about, because you know,
they're talking about should we just invest in one cryptocurrency
or should we invest in many? And they're differing on it.
What are your thoughts on this idea of like, hey,
we'd like to invest, but how do they navigate those
(04:49):
tricky conversations of exactly what to invest in. That's a
good question, and I'm not like some expert investor, but
I'm just thinking about the two stances. One person wants
to do it one way, the other person wants to
do wants to do it another. I think it's important
for each person to understand why the other person wants
to move the way that they want to move, and
(05:11):
then make the decision based on that. Which motivation seems
most important, Which motivation seems most real, Which motivation seems
like it needs to be honored the most in the relationship.
We've had a lot of cryptocurrency experts come on the show,
and they recommend that, you know, even if you're just
getting involved in cryptocurrency at the very early stages, you
(05:32):
look at diversifying your portfolio. So do the research. I
understand which coins are important to you. Um, you know
where you want to put your money, but diversify is
always a good idea. So I think this conversation and
I'll kick this to you as our relationship expert, of
how they navigate where they put their money. Do you
have any tips for them on how they can sort
(05:53):
of um navigate that you know, they can explore what
they want their decision making strategy to look like, and
I think it's unique to each relationship. One idea that
I just came up with is perhaps their agreement will
be that any investment is unanimous. We both agree and
that's how we do it, and then it can be plentiful.
(06:14):
Then it does doesn't have to be just one. It
can before that they all agree in. But maybe that's
the way that they want to move with their money,
or maybe they say the majority we invest together. Then
there's this many outside whatever they feel like, I feel
good for them. I think would be the best thing
to do, you know, I think that's such an interesting strategy.
Um And then adding the caveat of like this may change,
(06:34):
like we might come back and renegotiate this. You know,
one person might get more and more involved in investing
and be like, you know what, I'd like to hold
the reins. I'm doing really well here, and so just
being able to renegotiate those contracts I think will serve
them well in their relationship. But I always come back
to this piece of like does it always have to
be in agreement? You know? Could they allocate some set
(06:57):
of funds where and this might be really interesting because
I think you touched on this, like he feels like
he has to have a lot of the control here
where they can have like slush pots for each of them,
where you know, investing always has risk, where they can
each individually make some decisions and then come back together
and be like, I'm really passionate about this. I'm not sure,
(07:17):
but I think that's a really good idea. No, I
totally second that, And then I just I don't want
to like walk away without driving home the point that
there is some insecurity here about this woman not joining
him fully in the way he wants to be joined
that I think can be remedied through a conversation about
him stating the fear and what's coming up for him
(07:39):
and giving her the opportunity to share that it probably
isn't rooted in her being. Hesitance is how she wants
to move differently with her money. Sometimes we make up
stories in our head and we let them run and
they create chaos that in fact doesn't need to be creative.
That's right, Communicate and then know the real story. That's right.
And you know that last line of him going, am
I bugging? Like? Really, what he's saying is like I mean,
(08:01):
I think like there needs to be conversation here because
he's not actually expressing his feelings. He's just wondering if he's,
like you say, sitting there spinning this narrative in his
head going like am I bugging? Is something really going
on here? So conversation, conversation, conversation, and you know, tune
in again to money versus moves because we have the
experts SOCO here to give you those one two threes
(08:23):
on how you can navigate these challenging questions in your relationship.
SoC thank you again for being here and dropping stuffs
wisdom and pearls of relationship advice mixed in with money moves.
It's always a pleasure to have you. Tell us where
our folks at home can find you. You can all
reach me on Instagram at your favorite therapist. That's why,
(08:46):
oh you are favorite therapists. And thanks for having me Tanya.
It's always a pleasure. We love having you here and
money movers. If you want to get more information on
what we talked about here and the one two threes
of how you can and to your financial abundance with
the narrative of your relationship, please tune in. We recap
our blogs on the bank Greenwood dot com website, and
(09:08):
we'd love to hear from you, so please sign up
and send us your relationship questions for the next episode
of Money Versus Moves. Thank you so much for tuning
in Money Moves audience. If you want more or a
recap of this episode, please go to the bank Greenwood
dot com and check out the Money Moves podcast blog.
(09:31):
Stay tuned tomorrow from Guess you won't want to miss
say now. It is such a pleasure to have you here.
I'll never forget. My mother came with me to this
show in Detroit when the sixth Mile. It was at
a strip club, which even that would move for me.
I was like, Oh, I thought we would do in comedy,
but string. Once you see a G string, you don't
want to hear joke, you know. Money Moves is an
(09:54):
I heart Radio podcast powered by Greenwood Executive produced by
sun Wise Media, Inc. For more p podcast on iHeart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts from.
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