June 23, 2022 • 16 mins
Everyone's favorite therapist, Soco, returns to the podcast to help with a letter from a fan who writes in asking if she should pay for her father's funeral cost despite him not being in her life.
Soco and Tanya discuss healing from family generational trauma, one's responsibility to their family, and setting up financial boundaries with your family.
Guest IG: @yourfavoritetherapist
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, money Movers, Welcome back to Money Moves, the daily
podcast determined to give you the keys to the kingdom
of financial stability, wealth and abundant Hey money Movers, I'm
Tanya Sam and welcome to another episode of the Money
(00:22):
Moves podcast powered by Greenland. Alright, Soko, welcome back to
the podcast. We have another message from one of our fans.
Hey girl, Hey, can't wait to hear it. Okay, let's
dive in. All right, So this message came from Elise
from Los Angeles. Dear money Movers. My father recently died
(00:45):
and we didn't have a great relationship. My two sisters
want us to split the funeral cost. He didn't have
any money, so it all falls on us. He had
more of a relationship with them than me, even though
he was never really there for any of us. I
don't feel like he contributed at all to my life.
So should I really feel obligated to pay for the services? Okay?
(01:08):
This season is very mental health oriented and I'm here
for you. Okay, this is all real stuff. I feel
like last time was money. This time time about emotions. Okay,
but I love it. Okay, at least this is very hard.
This is very hard because you are in a stage
of grief that you're probably unaware of because you're consumed
(01:32):
with like the big W T F right now, Like
wait a minute, how do you think you're just gonna
make me not be there for me? And then I'm
on the hook to pay for you leaving while I'm
sucking left and it wasn't good. It's a lot, it's
a lot. Um. I have a rule that goes like this,
(01:53):
Only do what you want to do. Don't do what
you don't want to do. Oh my gosh, simple facts
that I love it. Only do what you want to do,
don't do what you don't want to do. Okay, Look,
because a lot of us are in very unhealthy family dynamics,
let's call it like we see it. There's a lot
(02:14):
of intergenerational trauma that has a lot of people acting
in very weird ways. And I don't know about you, Tanya,
I know you just had two nieces or the nieces,
the two beles. I have two little premy nieces, little angels. Yeah,
little little angels. I have one on the way I
have to. I don't know if the next one's a
niece or nephew, but I have one d may second
a niece, and I am really about making sure that
(02:37):
she doesn't have to deal with the same bs I
had to deal with in this lifetime, right like I
moved the needle forward. I want her to know she
doesn't have to do things that don't feel good. I
want her to know that she doesn't have to spend
money on someone that she doesn't feel like honored her
own life. And I also want her to know and
I want at least to know that when you move
like this, not everyone's going to like you. So there's
(02:58):
a high, high, high cost you pay for freedom. It's
like do you want to be like, do you want
to be freed? Okay, So I want to tap into
this because you say, like you said, this season of
our questions are so different than the last season, because
I think there's really people are crying out for answers
on a different way. They're seeking and they're growing and
(03:18):
they need help. So I am so here for it,
and in particular, you know, with black women, because I
honestly feel that for so many of us, we've we
have been groomed to just do the right thing, to
be people pleasers, to be everything for everyone. So this
concept of only do things that you want to do
is so foreign to me. Like it especially because you know,
(03:40):
I also come from a family where it's very African,
so you just kind of have to do as you're
told as females. So this is hard, like at least
this is a hard, hard thing, and especially because as
you mentioned so co you're grieving, and especially with grief
and life and death, there's this idea where you have
to give honor to people and what happens if you
(04:01):
don't honor this person who you've also sort of said
you weren't really close with. So imagine you could just
have the freedom to be like, I'm only going to
do things that I want to do. I don't even
know what to say with this. It's very difficult. It's
very difficult because I think we've always wanted to do
what we wanted to do, and we always know what
we want to do, and we feel strife and we
can't because we know that when we say no, we
(04:23):
will be shamed into saying yes. A black woman's no
is not well received. But I want that for me.
I wanted to be easy, and like I said, I
wanted to be easy for everyone else. So at least
I have this question for you. At least if you
have a daughter, think about this way, if you don't
imagine yourself having one, how would you want her to
(04:43):
navigate this if she felt hurt, betrayed, like she was
third best? Would you want her to give and dishonor
herself if that's what comes up by in the giving,
or would you want for her to stand firm and say,
this is me, take in care of me, and this
is me not worrying about everyone else, and this is
how I want to live, and this is how I
(05:04):
want other people to try to live too. It's hard,
It is so hard, but it's this idea of standing
in your truth and it's like oftentimes I think it's
really high level, wishy washy stuff that were like standing
your truth, But it feels good because I think, you know,
we make decisions, were pressured into stuff and it eats
(05:26):
you up on the inside. But when you actually take
the time to like say those notes, it's very freeing.
It is really really freeing. It's freeing. It's a reminder
that how you feel is important. Um. Yeah, it brings
us a lot of good, but it comes through the
very hard stuff. And you know, I hear a lot
of women trying to figure out and maybe men too,
but mostly women talking about like that that gut instinct,
(05:48):
that how do I listen to my intuition? It's like,
here's how you do what it says. If it says
like you're giving your money, that's you not listening to
your intuition. And how do we shore gonna steal by
doing it more and more? Right? So, like women grow
away from their intuition by saying yes when we mean no.
So if you're interested in growing closer to yourself, you
(06:09):
kind of got it on yourself to see what happens
when you take that trail. But it's a scary, true
because you don't know where it's leading. But you just
got to trust that loving you is the best thing
you can do. And this is one of those times
to do it. Beautiful. I really love that, and I
appreciate the peace of like, how do you sharpen that?
How do you sharpen that ability to like trust your gut?
(06:31):
You gotta do it, You gotta take the leap and
do it. Um. I do want to bring us back
to a little bit more about this because I also
think that oftentimes, at least when we're in it's so
co you might disagree with this, you know, the answer
feels like it has to be black and white and
there's some gray in here, because you can also set
the boundaries of saying I have one dollars to contribute
(06:52):
and I'm using that as whatever it is. You know,
that's all I can get. You know, they want you
to split, they want you to do this. Well, maybe
you just say, listen, you know, I don't want to
say it's all or nothing. I'm you know, not going
to help contribute to my father's funeral. But maybe it's
like I can give five dollars. That might be a
stretch for you, but there's some number there that will
(07:14):
make you feel comfortable that you haven't um, that you've
honored yourself and a little bit of him for what
he gave you. So, you know, sometimes I think we
get caught up in going like has to be one
or the other. Like maybe I would say, at least
explore that, you know, thank you for bringing me in
because I was coming in hot. You're right, there is
more to explore and I think so important, Like I'm
(07:36):
based off what you said I established some questions that
people can use while they're going through this. One is
what feels like it would honor me? Right? Is it
giving something? Is giving a little? Is giving all? And
then how can I navigate honoring the other relationships that
are important to me beyond what I feel good about?
So it's like, okay, let's say she can give three
(07:58):
D and then what's happened. What I'm here is she
thinks she values the relationship with her sisters at least somewhat,
and she wants to honor her father's life too. Write
so like, so here's an example. I can give three D.
Now I'm going to talk to my sisters and say,
this is a very difficult situation for me. I want
to just say yes and give whatever it takes, but
(08:19):
I feel like that would be dishonoring myself, and I
also know that that creates more financial burden for you all.
Please know that me moving this way is not to
stick it to you. I love you, guys, I hope
we can have a great relationship, but it's me honoring me.
This is what I can give, This is what I'm
willing to do. Please let me know where I can
send the money, I love you both, right, like a
(08:40):
way to make sure that everyone at least please write
that down. I was perfect. Sometimes I want people to
like write my my notes like that. That's why I
also people go to therapy. Yeah, so finding ways to
honor all the things that feel like they're worth honoring
in the process is a good compromise. Yes, Oh, I
(09:01):
really love that. Okay, I would be remiss because this
is Money Moves to say that. We've had a lot
of financial experts that have come on the show as
well that have talked specifically about estate planning and how
to deal with these costs, and so I also want
to share with our Money Moves audience, like please go back,
please check out some of those episodes, because I think
in our communities in particular, we don't talk about death
(09:22):
and dying. We don't sit down with our parents and
have the conversations that are obviously so difficult. Um, hey,
how can we prepare you for this before it happens?
And I think, you know, I'll even bring in my
own personal experience here with my dad. My dad passed
away recently and he was, you know, eighty four years old,
like a strong African man and it was not in
(09:43):
his customs and traditions to sit down with his kids
and talk about dying or estate planning or this. So
like if you ever dared to ask him, he'd be
like Tanya, and he would just like push you away
in this answer because it just wasn't customed for him.
And so I think now things are chained jing you know,
um technology is changing a lot of these things. So
(10:04):
being able to help aging parents through setting up the
process for funeral planning life insurance that can help cover that.
I think it's a really important part of how we
can do better than perhaps our parents generation because with
what because of what we know and what we've learned,
and the and the assets we have out there, because
(10:24):
this might have been avoided. Absolutely, Tanya, I totally agree.
I think that this podcast exists to move the needle
right for our people and their finances. And I think
that this is one very um it's clear way that
we can is by preparing for death and talking about
and hopefully everyone listening and everyone who comes after that
will be a little more prepared. Have the discussions, have
(10:47):
the numbers crunched out, have it ready. It's tough, you know,
and understanding you know what your parents wishes are. I mean,
these are all super, super tough conversations, but they should
be laid out and then you know, I also think,
like within relationships for husband and wives, like you know, oftentimes,
like we're even young people, we don't want to have
these conversations. I'm gonna live forever by the time you know,
(11:10):
I'm nine. We might be living in the metaverse on
avatars like in the matrix. Who knows. But we need
to decide what those questions are. Um, I just watched
a crazy show called upload. I want you to upload
me to whatever, and I want to look like, um,
a mix of I don't know me, Beyonce, Tracy, Ellis
Ross and whatever. So make my pa. But these are
(11:31):
really important questions that we need to have before death.
They are they are? Um, I know that we're we
are moving in terms of death, right. I know that
there are death duels now and we are now honoring
death in the sacred process, not some like horrible catastrophic event. Right.
So I think that we're getting there, and it's through
these conversations of what to do, how to do it differently,
(11:52):
how to do it better? Yes, well, this sounds very morbid,
but I actually really enjoy talking about death and dying.
You know my background, Um, I was a nurse. I
worked in oncology, so I've seen a lot of people
and helped a lot of families transition through, you know,
the really difficult times of losing a loved one. And
then I also, um, I'm on the board of an
um an organization called Kate's Club, which it literally helps
(12:15):
kids and families navigate through losing a loved one UM
And it's never easy, you know, it is. It is
never easy. But I think I'm really drawn to it
because I lost my mom when I was twelve, and
back then, it's a couple of decades ago, y'all. You
know how we really coped a bit, coped with it
as a family, was to not talk about it. And
(12:36):
so I think we're sort of breaking down those sort
of barriers of comfort around talking about death and dying.
And I think it's a society. We are going to
be so much better for it, Yes we are. This
isn't worth recording, but I just want to say too that, like,
I love that you're into death, because I think that
the people who are into death, we're not afraid to
(12:59):
love of right, It's like very empowering to be comfortable
with the one thing that is we know is coming,
the only thing that's guaranteed. You shouldn't grow some familiarity
with it and not be scared of it. Yes, no,
I love it. Um, I love death, I love past lives,
I love it all. Probably a witch please record cut
(13:22):
this out like all of it. Ums, just laughing. Okay,
all right, let's break it back. Um, how do I
take us out? Do we do? We get to our
mark at least? Oh we're great? Um, well, go ahead,
so want to know. But I think it's important to
let at least know that we shouldn't give more than
(13:44):
we have. That's for sure. If they're looking for a
cost split and you ain't got it, we're not going
into debt over this. That's definitely dishonoring in my book. Yeah,
And you know what, UM, I think that's a really
interesting point because there's this poll towards creating like funeral
serve us is and you know, these big monumental markings
(14:04):
of life and death weddings are the same thing. And
I think, as a rule, if you don't got it,
don't do it, and this is a conversation that we
need to start having it because it goes for your
child's first birthday party where people are having these ridiculous blowouts,
gender reveals, like all of it. If you don't get it,
don't do it, because the only people that will be
stressed about it is you, not the people who came
and told you the chicken was dry. So I think,
(14:26):
like on that note, at least we wish you the best,
Like our heart goes out to you and your family.
We know that this is still a tough time no
matter how close you are with your father. You know
a lot of stuff will bubble up from that, but
we hope that our words gave you some sort of solace.
Um So, Co, do you have any closing remarks for
our audience and Elise as well, Just at least know
(14:50):
that this is like one of the most difficult circumstances
to be in and after here, I think it's going
to get easier. So it's open up to the process
and learn from it. Be gentle and kind with yourself,
very loving with yourself. Always. Thank you, Soco, that was beautiful.
A lease again, our condolences are hurt, goes out to
you and thank you Money Movers audience for being so
(15:12):
candid and forthright and sharing your questions with us. We
love to hear them, so keep letting them come in. Um.
We hope that we can help you make your money
move also bring you into the Kingdom of abundance and
spiritual well being because we are trying to take all
of our listeners on a journey with us to health, wealth, prosperity,
and a little bit of all of that. So Money Movers,
(15:34):
that's all the time we have for today. Soco, Can
you please share where our audience can find you on
social media? Yes, y'all can find me on Instagram at
your favorite therapist. That's a rap you guys. Please continue
to send in your questions and thank you money movers. Um.
If we help you make your money move, please make
(15:54):
sure to let us know by sending us alike, sharing
the knowledge on social media, and or leave us a
review on Apple podcast us Money Movers. That's all the
time we have for today. Make sure to tune in
Monday through Friday and subscribe to the Money Moves podcast
powered by Greenway, so that you two can have the
keys to financial freedom. You so rightly deserve. Thank you
(16:18):
so much for tuning in Money Moves audience. If you
want more or a recap of this episode, please go
to the bank Greenwood dot com and check out the
Money Moves podcast blog. Money Moves is an I heart
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For more podcasts on I heart Radio, visit the i
(16:40):
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
podcasts from.
Hey, money Movers, Welcome back to Money Moves, the daily
podcast determined to give you the keys to the kingdom
of financial stability, wealth and abundant Hey money Movers, I'm
Tanya Sam and welcome to another episode of the Money
(00:22):
Moves podcast powered by Greenland. Alright, Soko, welcome back to
the podcast. We have another message from one of our fans.
Hey girl, Hey, can't wait to hear it. Okay, let's
dive in. All right, So this message came from Elise
from Los Angeles. Dear money Movers. My father recently died
(00:45):
and we didn't have a great relationship. My two sisters
want us to split the funeral cost. He didn't have
any money, so it all falls on us. He had
more of a relationship with them than me, even though
he was never really there for any of us. I
don't feel like he contributed at all to my life.
So should I really feel obligated to pay for the services? Okay?
(01:08):
This season is very mental health oriented and I'm here
for you. Okay, this is all real stuff. I feel
like last time was money. This time time about emotions. Okay,
but I love it. Okay, at least this is very hard.
This is very hard because you are in a stage
of grief that you're probably unaware of because you're consumed
(01:32):
with like the big W T F right now, Like
wait a minute, how do you think you're just gonna
make me not be there for me? And then I'm
on the hook to pay for you leaving while I'm
sucking left and it wasn't good. It's a lot, it's
a lot. Um. I have a rule that goes like this,
(01:53):
Only do what you want to do. Don't do what
you don't want to do. Oh my gosh, simple facts
that I love it. Only do what you want to do,
don't do what you don't want to do. Okay, Look,
because a lot of us are in very unhealthy family dynamics,
let's call it like we see it. There's a lot
(02:14):
of intergenerational trauma that has a lot of people acting
in very weird ways. And I don't know about you, Tanya,
I know you just had two nieces or the nieces,
the two beles. I have two little premy nieces, little angels. Yeah,
little little angels. I have one on the way I
have to. I don't know if the next one's a
niece or nephew, but I have one d may second
a niece, and I am really about making sure that
(02:37):
she doesn't have to deal with the same bs I
had to deal with in this lifetime, right like I
moved the needle forward. I want her to know she
doesn't have to do things that don't feel good. I
want her to know that she doesn't have to spend
money on someone that she doesn't feel like honored her
own life. And I also want her to know and
I want at least to know that when you move
like this, not everyone's going to like you. So there's
(02:58):
a high, high, high cost you pay for freedom. It's
like do you want to be like, do you want
to be freed? Okay, So I want to tap into
this because you say, like you said, this season of
our questions are so different than the last season, because
I think there's really people are crying out for answers
on a different way. They're seeking and they're growing and
(03:18):
they need help. So I am so here for it,
and in particular, you know, with black women, because I
honestly feel that for so many of us, we've we
have been groomed to just do the right thing, to
be people pleasers, to be everything for everyone. So this
concept of only do things that you want to do
is so foreign to me. Like it especially because you know,
(03:40):
I also come from a family where it's very African,
so you just kind of have to do as you're
told as females. So this is hard, like at least
this is a hard, hard thing, and especially because as
you mentioned so co you're grieving, and especially with grief
and life and death, there's this idea where you have
to give honor to people and what happens if you
(04:01):
don't honor this person who you've also sort of said
you weren't really close with. So imagine you could just
have the freedom to be like, I'm only going to
do things that I want to do. I don't even
know what to say with this. It's very difficult. It's
very difficult because I think we've always wanted to do
what we wanted to do, and we always know what
we want to do, and we feel strife and we
can't because we know that when we say no, we
(04:23):
will be shamed into saying yes. A black woman's no
is not well received. But I want that for me.
I wanted to be easy, and like I said, I
wanted to be easy for everyone else. So at least
I have this question for you. At least if you
have a daughter, think about this way, if you don't
imagine yourself having one, how would you want her to
(04:43):
navigate this if she felt hurt, betrayed, like she was
third best? Would you want her to give and dishonor
herself if that's what comes up by in the giving,
or would you want for her to stand firm and say,
this is me, take in care of me, and this
is me not worrying about everyone else, and this is
how I want to live, and this is how I
(05:04):
want other people to try to live too. It's hard,
It is so hard, but it's this idea of standing
in your truth and it's like oftentimes I think it's
really high level, wishy washy stuff that were like standing
your truth, But it feels good because I think, you know,
we make decisions, were pressured into stuff and it eats
(05:26):
you up on the inside. But when you actually take
the time to like say those notes, it's very freeing.
It is really really freeing. It's freeing. It's a reminder
that how you feel is important. Um. Yeah, it brings
us a lot of good, but it comes through the
very hard stuff. And you know, I hear a lot
of women trying to figure out and maybe men too,
but mostly women talking about like that that gut instinct,
(05:48):
that how do I listen to my intuition? It's like,
here's how you do what it says. If it says
like you're giving your money, that's you not listening to
your intuition. And how do we shore gonna steal by
doing it more and more? Right? So, like women grow
away from their intuition by saying yes when we mean no.
So if you're interested in growing closer to yourself, you
(06:09):
kind of got it on yourself to see what happens
when you take that trail. But it's a scary, true
because you don't know where it's leading. But you just
got to trust that loving you is the best thing
you can do. And this is one of those times
to do it. Beautiful. I really love that, and I
appreciate the peace of like, how do you sharpen that?
How do you sharpen that ability to like trust your gut?
(06:31):
You gotta do it, You gotta take the leap and
do it. Um. I do want to bring us back
to a little bit more about this because I also
think that oftentimes, at least when we're in it's so
co you might disagree with this, you know, the answer
feels like it has to be black and white and
there's some gray in here, because you can also set
the boundaries of saying I have one dollars to contribute
(06:52):
and I'm using that as whatever it is. You know,
that's all I can get. You know, they want you
to split, they want you to do this. Well, maybe
you just say, listen, you know, I don't want to
say it's all or nothing. I'm you know, not going
to help contribute to my father's funeral. But maybe it's
like I can give five dollars. That might be a
stretch for you, but there's some number there that will
(07:14):
make you feel comfortable that you haven't um, that you've
honored yourself and a little bit of him for what
he gave you. So, you know, sometimes I think we
get caught up in going like has to be one
or the other. Like maybe I would say, at least
explore that, you know, thank you for bringing me in
because I was coming in hot. You're right, there is
more to explore and I think so important, Like I'm
(07:36):
based off what you said I established some questions that
people can use while they're going through this. One is
what feels like it would honor me? Right? Is it
giving something? Is giving a little? Is giving all? And
then how can I navigate honoring the other relationships that
are important to me beyond what I feel good about?
So it's like, okay, let's say she can give three
(07:58):
D and then what's happened. What I'm here is she
thinks she values the relationship with her sisters at least somewhat,
and she wants to honor her father's life too. Write
so like, so here's an example. I can give three D.
Now I'm going to talk to my sisters and say,
this is a very difficult situation for me. I want
to just say yes and give whatever it takes, but
(08:19):
I feel like that would be dishonoring myself, and I
also know that that creates more financial burden for you all.
Please know that me moving this way is not to
stick it to you. I love you, guys, I hope
we can have a great relationship, but it's me honoring me.
This is what I can give, This is what I'm
willing to do. Please let me know where I can
send the money, I love you both, right, like a
(08:40):
way to make sure that everyone at least please write
that down. I was perfect. Sometimes I want people to
like write my my notes like that. That's why I
also people go to therapy. Yeah, so finding ways to
honor all the things that feel like they're worth honoring
in the process is a good compromise. Yes, Oh, I
(09:01):
really love that. Okay, I would be remiss because this
is Money Moves to say that. We've had a lot
of financial experts that have come on the show as
well that have talked specifically about estate planning and how
to deal with these costs, and so I also want
to share with our Money Moves audience, like please go back,
please check out some of those episodes, because I think
in our communities in particular, we don't talk about death
(09:22):
and dying. We don't sit down with our parents and
have the conversations that are obviously so difficult. Um, hey,
how can we prepare you for this before it happens?
And I think, you know, I'll even bring in my
own personal experience here with my dad. My dad passed
away recently and he was, you know, eighty four years old,
like a strong African man and it was not in
(09:43):
his customs and traditions to sit down with his kids
and talk about dying or estate planning or this. So
like if you ever dared to ask him, he'd be
like Tanya, and he would just like push you away
in this answer because it just wasn't customed for him.
And so I think now things are chained jing you know,
um technology is changing a lot of these things. So
(10:04):
being able to help aging parents through setting up the
process for funeral planning life insurance that can help cover that.
I think it's a really important part of how we
can do better than perhaps our parents generation because with
what because of what we know and what we've learned,
and the and the assets we have out there, because
(10:24):
this might have been avoided. Absolutely, Tanya, I totally agree.
I think that this podcast exists to move the needle
right for our people and their finances. And I think
that this is one very um it's clear way that
we can is by preparing for death and talking about
and hopefully everyone listening and everyone who comes after that
will be a little more prepared. Have the discussions, have
(10:47):
the numbers crunched out, have it ready. It's tough, you know,
and understanding you know what your parents wishes are. I mean,
these are all super, super tough conversations, but they should
be laid out and then you know, I also think,
like within relationships for husband and wives, like you know, oftentimes,
like we're even young people, we don't want to have
these conversations. I'm gonna live forever by the time you know,
(11:10):
I'm nine. We might be living in the metaverse on
avatars like in the matrix. Who knows. But we need
to decide what those questions are. Um, I just watched
a crazy show called upload. I want you to upload
me to whatever, and I want to look like, um,
a mix of I don't know me, Beyonce, Tracy, Ellis
Ross and whatever. So make my pa. But these are
(11:31):
really important questions that we need to have before death.
They are they are? Um, I know that we're we
are moving in terms of death, right. I know that
there are death duels now and we are now honoring
death in the sacred process, not some like horrible catastrophic event. Right.
So I think that we're getting there, and it's through
these conversations of what to do, how to do it differently,
(11:52):
how to do it better? Yes, well, this sounds very morbid,
but I actually really enjoy talking about death and dying.
You know my background, Um, I was a nurse. I
worked in oncology, so I've seen a lot of people
and helped a lot of families transition through, you know,
the really difficult times of losing a loved one. And
then I also, um, I'm on the board of an
um an organization called Kate's Club, which it literally helps
(12:15):
kids and families navigate through losing a loved one UM
And it's never easy, you know, it is. It is
never easy. But I think I'm really drawn to it
because I lost my mom when I was twelve, and
back then, it's a couple of decades ago, y'all. You
know how we really coped a bit, coped with it
as a family, was to not talk about it. And
(12:36):
so I think we're sort of breaking down those sort
of barriers of comfort around talking about death and dying.
And I think it's a society. We are going to
be so much better for it, Yes we are. This
isn't worth recording, but I just want to say too that, like,
I love that you're into death, because I think that
the people who are into death, we're not afraid to
(12:59):
love of right, It's like very empowering to be comfortable
with the one thing that is we know is coming,
the only thing that's guaranteed. You shouldn't grow some familiarity
with it and not be scared of it. Yes, no,
I love it. Um, I love death, I love past lives,
I love it all. Probably a witch please record cut
(13:22):
this out like all of it. Ums, just laughing. Okay,
all right, let's break it back. Um, how do I
take us out? Do we do? We get to our
mark at least? Oh we're great? Um, well, go ahead,
so want to know. But I think it's important to
let at least know that we shouldn't give more than
(13:44):
we have. That's for sure. If they're looking for a
cost split and you ain't got it, we're not going
into debt over this. That's definitely dishonoring in my book. Yeah,
And you know what, UM, I think that's a really
interesting point because there's this poll towards creating like funeral
serve us is and you know, these big monumental markings
(14:04):
of life and death weddings are the same thing. And
I think, as a rule, if you don't got it,
don't do it, and this is a conversation that we
need to start having it because it goes for your
child's first birthday party where people are having these ridiculous blowouts,
gender reveals, like all of it. If you don't get it,
don't do it, because the only people that will be
stressed about it is you, not the people who came
and told you the chicken was dry. So I think,
(14:26):
like on that note, at least we wish you the best,
Like our heart goes out to you and your family.
We know that this is still a tough time no
matter how close you are with your father. You know
a lot of stuff will bubble up from that, but
we hope that our words gave you some sort of solace.
Um So, Co, do you have any closing remarks for
our audience and Elise as well, Just at least know
(14:50):
that this is like one of the most difficult circumstances
to be in and after here, I think it's going
to get easier. So it's open up to the process
and learn from it. Be gentle and kind with yourself,
very loving with yourself. Always. Thank you, Soco, that was beautiful.
A lease again, our condolences are hurt, goes out to
you and thank you Money Movers audience for being so
(15:12):
candid and forthright and sharing your questions with us. We
love to hear them, so keep letting them come in. Um.
We hope that we can help you make your money
move also bring you into the Kingdom of abundance and
spiritual well being because we are trying to take all
of our listeners on a journey with us to health, wealth, prosperity,
and a little bit of all of that. So Money Movers,
(15:34):
that's all the time we have for today. Soco, Can
you please share where our audience can find you on
social media? Yes, y'all can find me on Instagram at
your favorite therapist. That's a rap you guys. Please continue
to send in your questions and thank you money movers. Um.
If we help you make your money move, please make
(15:54):
sure to let us know by sending us alike, sharing
the knowledge on social media, and or leave us a
review on Apple podcast us Money Movers. That's all the
time we have for today. Make sure to tune in
Monday through Friday and subscribe to the Money Moves podcast
powered by Greenway, so that you two can have the
keys to financial freedom. You so rightly deserve. Thank you
(16:18):
so much for tuning in Money Moves audience. If you
want more or a recap of this episode, please go
to the bank Greenwood dot com and check out the
Money Moves podcast blog. Money Moves is an I heart
Radio podcast powered by Greenwood Executive produced by Sunwise Media, Inc.
For more podcasts on I heart Radio, visit the i
(16:40):
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