October 17, 2024 • 36 mins
It’s October! Time to put on your finest costume and embrace all of the spooky things under a full moon. Are you a fight, flight, freeze or FLOP type of person? Are you a haunted house enthusiast? What’s your favorite scary movie? On today’s episode Stephanie and Melissa discuss their relationships with fear, Halloween and communing with the ancestors on Día de Los Muertos.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
If I could, I would let other people carry me
through a haunted house. I would literally flop down on
the ground and let other people carry me through of a
haunted house.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
More More Better, More More Better.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Oh hello, oh hello, and welcome to More Better, a
podcast where we stop pretending to have it all together
and embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Day, or at least trying to.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
That's Molsa for Merril, and that's Stephanie Beatrice, And here
we are, once again embracing the journey. You know, you
can't see me right now, but I mean Melissa can
see me. But I have these extensions in for this
season of Twisted Metal, and it is like impossible not
to mess with them. They are these tiny, tiny, tiny
little k tip extensions are beautifully done. They're like having
(01:01):
individual tenC tinsy ponytails on your head. Oh nuts, all
I want to do is like pull individual hairs out
of that. Yeah, there's something wrong with me. Let me
just say that, because the hell time here, the health
of my hair depends on.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Me not doing this.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And I will consistently do this during the day, like
I'm just like fucking messing with my dumb ca tips
like I should just leave them alone. Okay, I'm gonna
try to leave them alone for this pod. Hmmm, what
have you done lightly well? So that's more better?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You're literally crossing your physically restraining yourself so that you
don't pick at your hair.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
These are expensive to treat them well, to treat them well.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay, what have you done lately? That's more better? Me?
I'm not picking up my k tips? What are you do?
Are not picking at your cake tips? I don't know.
I mean, I kind of you know, I've been I've
been on this high, this pre show, pre gig high,
just trying to ride that, and I'm doing lots of
little things more better. It definitely is. You know, it
(02:08):
sucks because part of me wishes I could be like
this all the time, but I also recognize like I
would eventually burn out. But it does feel good to
be like ultra productive every day and like getting a
lot of shit done, and also like being sort of
actively rooted in gratitude and like actively trying to be
(02:31):
present when I'm with my kids and my family. And
I don't know why. I mean, I think we're just
all human and that's life. It's hard to sustain that
for long periods of time. But I'm just really enjoying
this moment right now where I feel all those things.
But yeah, it's because I'm about to leave. You know.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I'm not to like Devil's advocate you, but I will say, like,
maybe it's getting easier to be in that moment, you know,
like maybe you do yet and like you're just getting
better at doing it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I think it's like.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Being in a mode where you feel your best, whether
whatever the circumstances around it are. It's like sometimes you
just like start getting better at doing that stuff, you know,
and like you are supercharged right now because you are
going to leave soon. So like there's that element of
it too, But like there's nothing that says you can't
take some of this motivation and like take it beyond
the job and take it, take it into the job,
(03:26):
take it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Beyond the job, you know, Like yeah, no, And you're
totally right because I think actually in the past, I
feel like when I left for Blockbuster to do that show, Uh,
I don't think I was this positive. I think I
was more anxious and stressed out and like frozen a
little bit, you know. So thank you for pointing that out, because, yeah,
(03:48):
I me realize in this moment that like there is
improvement I think with like, you know, the anxiety of
leaving and being separated from my family, and I think
I'm I'm approaching it in a healthier, more positive way
than I have in the past. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, listen,
you thank you for pointing that out. Friend.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You know, all it took uh for me to be
able to point that out to you was uh.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Me going to therapy and getting on some meds. You
know what I mean. Heany you gotta do what you
gotta do. That's also growth. That's also growth. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And like I think this is about in about a month,
it'll be a year since I've been on medication to
help with anxiety and depression. And I have been really
good about taking it every day. I've been really good
at like seeing where my anxiety comes from, seeing if
(04:44):
I hate to you know, if I need to medicate,
uh if meaning like sometimes I have like additional meds
that I can take during the day if I really
need them. Yeah, but that's something that I've done lately
that's way more better then that's a been one.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
And helps me a lot.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I mean from from where I was, Like, I guess
it was last year. Last year to now is like
day and night for how I feel about almost everything.
You know, my brain just like was not in a
place that it could help itself anymore with those feelings,
and like, and I am. If anybody is somebody that
(05:25):
wants to try to do it by themselves, it's me.
I'm like, no, I don't need meds. I don't need
to do that.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I don't need that. It's like people that are weak and.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Can't do it on their own, and like that's not
true at all.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It's just not at all. Sometimes you just need help,
you know. Yeah, And it sounds like you're you're much
more able to get to the root causes of your
anxiety or some of the things that are hard for
you because you have Yeah yeah, not always, but not
always because it's hard, but yeah, but it's definitely much
(05:58):
harder to do when you're buried under yes, all of them.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, then it's just like it's too big of a mountain.
It's just like m hmm, everything is scary.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, more better, Yeah, speaking of scary, speaking of scary,
Since we're in spooky season, happy October. Well, we're not
talking about spooky stuff per se, but we are talking
about fear today. Spooky season. Is that what you call it?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
That is what I call it, maybe because I have
small children and we're talking about spooky creepy things all day.
I have one Halloween kid and one kid. When I
say Halloween kid, I mean a kid. Please talk about
the doll, Please talk about the animated thing. My god,
oh my god, it's so funny. Last year, my youngest son, Axel,
and so he is, he was three last year, three
(06:50):
years old, and he is obsessed with Halloween. Talks about
Halloween all year, like needs periodic reminders of how long
it is until the next Halloween. This starts at like
Christmas and goes all year. And he last year, he uh,
I led him. I took him to the store a
couple of times to pick out some new ghosts to
(07:11):
decorate our house or whatever. And he got really into it.
And there was this doll that was a white faced
ghost looking doll with a black dress and her hair
black hair and pigtails and like no eyes. But when
you're a type terrifying when you turn her on, her
eyes are just glow green, possessed doll, possessed all and
(07:32):
she goes, I bet you can't do what I can do.
Watch this, and she takes her head off, which is
accompanied by like this like like creepy music, and then
she goes and then she puts her head back on.
She goes, I bet you can't do that. And he
(07:54):
wanted her so.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Badly, totally normal three years old.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And at first I was like, no, this is an
impulsive decision, like we're going to get home and you're
gonna be like this doll is terrifying, And so I
said no, and we went home, and then for like
fort days straight, he asked about the doll and I went, fuck,
he really wants this fucking doll. Oh my god, that's
so funny. So I went and got him the doll.
But you know what plot twist This year. I brought
(08:20):
her out of the closet and he said, Mama, I
think she's a little too creepy this year. Wow, okay,
I said, you want me to like donate hers and
he said no, no, she can go back in the closet.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Let's see next year, oh buddy, or no, actually.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
He didn't have you put her back in the in
the closet. He just had me instead of putting her
out as a decoration. She's just kind of like in
the corner of like the player. Like she's not that's
not creepy at all, but like she can she can
be accessed. Is she not plugged in? She plugged in?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Er she battery powered? No, she's battery powered. She's just
like some batteries here. Scare the shit out of your husband.
She's so creepy to be like, No, I didn't put
batteries in, babe. I didn't put batteries in her this year.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
That's so weird. I like move her around the house.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, just keep Oh no, because she scares my older
one's so much.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Well that's what you're gonna say, right the other kid,
the other child is not interested in this.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
No. He watched Nightmare before Christmas for the very first
time because his brother, at two years old, insisted on
watching it and then watched it every single day, and
Enzo was like forced to see it. And he doesn't
like it. He thinks it's scary, And now he liked it.
Now he likes it. But the first time he saw it,
he was like, why does he like this movie? This
movie is so scary and I was like, it's not. Though.
(09:40):
I was like, I get they look a little creepy,
but they're just like spooky, it's fun. And I was like,
he's too, and he's like he's into it, into it. Yeah.
So I kind of ended up being a good thing
for him.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
But I saw a Nightmare before Christmas for the first
time when I was like fifteen or something, and I
was not about it. I was like, no, I don't
like this. I felt like they were making it creepy
and I liked Christmas.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I was like no, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
But I rewatched it yesterday. I've rewatched it since then.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
But I watched it yesterday for the first time with
Roz who was three, and she was mez my Ries,
mezz my Ries.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
She got another.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Spooky, spooky kid because she was like into it, like.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Well, I remember last year, yeah, when you guys trigger
treated with us. She was all into the nothing. None
of the decorations scared her now nothing. She was right
there with Axel just being like this is awesome. It
might not last, but like right now, shes spooky Dookie.
She loves spooky Dookie. This season is scary for me.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I'm a really I'm a little baby when it comes
to some of this stuff, like.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Are you yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I yes, I.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I don't know why I'm smiling with glee right now. Okay,
So here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
As an actor, it's fun because like you, like if
you're on set and so something scary or like there's
blood and guts and stuff, like you.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Are aware that it's fake. It's very fake.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You know you've read the script or whatever whatever whatever, right,
And like, so I did this play in London two
years ago, I think, and it was called two twenty two.
And the whole play is like scary. It's a scary, right,
It's like a scary plach of like jump scares in
it and they're scared. There's like ghosty, ghosty ideas. Like
it's fun and as somebody who loves that stuff, like
(11:28):
loves to be in it, that's one thing, right. But
the first time I read the script, I read it
at midnight and I stayed up to read it and
I was fucking scared by the end of it. I
like scared myself could not sleep like scared me. And
this is coming from someone who really likes, like I
(11:48):
love a true crime podcast that used to go to
sleep with them on all.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah, that's what I think why I'm surprised.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But I cannot do a haunted house.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I will close my eyes and bury my face into
the person in front of me. I cannot do Halloween
horror nights.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
At what's it called, Oh yeah, Universal Universal. I can't
do it.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I can't even really do Ougi Boogie, Like I've never
bought tickets to Oogi Boogie Bash in Disneyland, and I
love Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
When we were on our honeymoon and we went to.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Disneyland in Tokyo, I was pretty freaked out when we
were in the Hunted mansion because it's different and it's
bigger and it's spookier, and I was pretty scared. Like
I was like, like I.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Have my eyes closed a couple times.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I don't know what it is, Like I have memories
of being a kid and being on pirates and it
being really scary for me. Like it's like something about
not knowing where the story's going to go, or like
what's going to happen. That is the control freak part
of my brain just gets really I cannot handle it.
Like I don't want to watch scary movies. I'm not
real good at it, Like I have to watch with
(12:56):
a group and I have to make fun of them.
I can't go see a scary movie in the theater
because you know, no one's gonna want me to be
like doing my bits, Like yeah, only I can survive
a scary movie is or I can like sit with
my friends on the couch and like do bits.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I am so fascinated by this because I find true
crime stories and podcasts or movies scary movies that feel
too much like they could happen in real life, that
like don't have a ghost or supernatural element freak me
the fuck out and stress me out, and I don't
(13:31):
I don't want to know. I don't want to know.
I don't want to know about serial killers. I don't
want to know about you know, I don't want to
It's the reason I could never watch like the Saw movies. Like,
and I like watching scary movies, but like something about
soft felt too.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Like I was like too gory and it's too like
like just a deranged guy.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Like even Silence of the Lambs to me was like
so much more scary than like The Ring, do you
know what I mean? Because I was like this could
really happen like in real life, like and I and
I just I find those stories like so so scary.
But I love I love a scary movie. I love
(14:10):
a scary movie with like a supernatural or like ghost
element to it, I guess, and like they scare me,
but like it's a fun scary And I love going
to hotted houses and I love going to fright Night
and I love it. I love it. I love it.
It's so fun.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
No no, no, like when the people are like up
on you.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oh yes, war.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
War. So I have like a very interesting relationship I
guess with fear because like I like it. It's fun,
Like it's fun to be in situations where you know
you're safe. Yeah, and it's a little bit scary or whatever,
but there's the moment, the moment where you don't know
it's fake. The but like I don't know my body just.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Like ugh, like I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I just can't do it. I don't know, I don't know.
I yeah, Like.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What what can you think on like a time that
you felt really scared, Like what was your immediate like
how did you react to it?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Well, I remember the first time that I was like
deathly scared was we had a babysitter when I was
like seven, and she let us watch Nightmare on Elm Street.
The first one.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Oh, I was too scared to see Nightmare on Elm
Street when I was a kid with the bed scene
with Johnny Depp. I never saw it.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Actually, it fucked me up because like the waterbed thing
where he gets like sucked into the water spoiler.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Lord, if you haven't seen it, this movie's like forty
years old. I remember that clip.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, I was fucked up, and like this was somebody
that like, you know, not that my brain thought this
necessarily at the time, but like a babysitter is an adult,
so like you're like, oh, well, this must be safe
if she's letting us do it, like she had the
mindful of that and you were seven seven, I was
that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, And I remember sitting in front.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Of seven, sitting in front of the TV, being like
but there was something about it that like I couldn't
walk away from, you know, And then like there are
times where I've been scared, but it was like too real.
Like when my when my sister was three, no two,
my mom was setting the table and I think we
were gonna have people come over because she was setting
(16:30):
steak knives on the table and there were those serrated
steak knives you know.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Oh yeah, I'll never forget I made a wood wooden handle. Yeah,
we had n there like that.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, they were very popular in the eighties. And Jenny
was two and she was sitting on one of the
chairs the dining room table. My mom was setting the table.
My mom had very short hair at the time, very chic,
and I remember being close to my sister who was
sitting on the big chair, and my sister grabbed a
knife and before anybody could do anything, she took the
knife and just stabbed it straight into.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Her knee, like oh.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
And there was blood everywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I mean, like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
We were in the car on Like what I remember
is us being in the Bronco on the way to
the hospital. My mom like scream crying, my sister scream crying.
My somebody had wrapped like a towel around Jenny's leg.
It was like blood was just gushing everywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
And then I remember being in the emergency room and
like I remember, the room was small, there was a
table over there.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
My mom and dad were like in front.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Of Jenny, so I couldn't see what was happening, and
the doctor was also on the other side of the
blockade of adults. Jenny was behind them, so I couldn't see,
and I was like in a chair in the corner
of the room. And I remember laughing hysterically, like I
was hissed.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Laughing because I didn't know what to do because she
was screaming so loud. Oh my god, laugh is murder.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And like I remember, like I remember knowing like I
should not be laughing right now, but there.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Was nothing like my b He was just like no.
And sometimes that's just the reaction. I have a kid
who laughs when he gets shots. He's so scared of shots,
and then every time it happens, he starts laughing. I mean,
how can it's so hot feel it's so terrifying that
you have to laugh. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
God, I'll never forget it though. On that Jenny still
has a big star. I was a frigging psychopath.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Is she laughing?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
She wasn't been like, that's a sociopath. I'm a sociopaths child.
Just giggling, fucking I'll never forget it. So anyway, me
and scary things, we have a little bit of a
Now there's like, have you heard about these haunted houses
where you have to sign waivers and the you're like
they can touch you and they can like do all
(18:47):
sorts of Like there's haunted houses where you have to
sign a waiver because they're like people have had. Maybe
I'm like bullshitting right now, maybe this is not true. Guys, No,
don't give anything I say.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I love going to I haven't been to one in
a really long time, but when I was younger, we
used to go every year. That was like part of
our Halloween season tradition, was like to at least hit
a haunted house. The two best ones I went to.
One was an oh oh uh Headless Horseman? Where's Headless Horseman? From? Oh?
(19:20):
In New York Sleepy Hollow, sleep Hollow? Stop, you went
to a haunted house in Sleepy Hollow. Yes. First of all,
Sleepy Hollow is a dope fucking place to go during
hollow times because they go all out and they had
a motherfucking real man on a real ass horse with
a pup with no head, holding the pumpkin head, riding
(19:42):
the horse back and forth as you waited online. I
don't like it. I don't like And then it was
like a hole. It wasn't I think, I don't think
it was a house. It was like it was a
whole outdoor maze kind of thing that you went through
and people jumped out and scared you, and the jokes
were so good. And then you saw the again at
the end and it was amazing. And I have a
(20:04):
really beautiful Christmas ornament of like a headless horseman from
Oh my God, that trip. I don't like it. I
don't like it, but I do like it. Yeah. And
then I went to another good one in Pennsylvania once.
Oh god, that was like very thorough and people chased
you and oh so fun. What if you trip? What
do they do they help you up? What happened to trip? Oh?
(20:29):
Oh no, I don't I'm not in I'm not interested.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
We you know, we went to the Haunted hay Ride
once in Oh yeah, La. We waited a really long time.
Those weight lines are long, long long. We were in
line for hours, and then we finally did it, and
I was like, this isn't gonna be and it was
plure thing I was.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I had the worst war.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I was like, I waited three hours in line for
what to close my eyes because I was so scared.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
The whole time. Oh my God. But I do I
think there is something sort of invigorating about getting scared.
I think it's kind of good to do once in
a while. I think it's like I don't know, I
think it's it's good for like your brain. And I
feel like when I was little, there were definitely scary
movies that like scared the shit out of me. And
Candy Man. I don't think I showered for like a
(21:17):
week after seeing Oh my God. I could not go
in the bathroom for anything. I was terrified of the
bathroom after Candy Man. That movie scared the shit out
of me. Absolutely not no thing. But I think that
there was something in me at that age, like those
like older kids sort of tween years, that like, even
(21:41):
though some things really scared me, there was something I
liked about it. And I think it was this little
like adrenaline thing, or this like feeling alive kind of
thing or I don't. I think that there is. I
think there can be positive things to fear.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I mean, I also like, not for nothing, one of
the first sex scenes I ever saw on TV or
like in a movie was a video like a VHS
with some like crappy horror movie where there was there's
always sex scenes in those movies, right.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, always sex scenes. It's always like.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know what I mean, like Virginity in the eighties
and stuff, and like people are like doing it in
the woods, and like you know, we'd be like downstairs
in someone's basement, like rewinding the sex scene, you know,
like and then everyone gets killed at the end whatever whatever,
but like do the sex scene again. You know, like
there was something for me that like connected the two
(22:34):
in my brain because like at the time, like oh well,
let's rent the scary movie. Like nobody's gonna let you
rent like a sexy movie, but like they'll let you
rent a scary movie watching the basement with no adults.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
No to self, don't let that happen.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
But like you know, then there's that all the lore
about the final girl stuff. You know, like in movies,
there's like there's these tropes of like, oh, well, the
characters that have sex are definitely gonna die, you know,
there's always a final girl.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Oh yeah, that's what I really liked about the Scream movie.
Like the first time I saw it, I was just like, oh,
this movie is kind of brilliant, the way it's like,
oh my god, the first Scream movie. Do you remember
watching that? Brilliant brilliant? Like now you watch it and
you're like, how is this so popular? It was kind
of it's kind of a little bit hokey, and but
I at that time it was so good. At the time,
(23:23):
it was brilliant. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I was turning those tropes on its head, and it
was like really doing things that hadn't happened before in
that genre at all. More, I have a complicated relationship
with scary stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I think, uh huh yeah sense Yeah, I know. I
have to be into like a right frame of mind
to see a scary movie, which I found has been
less so since having kids. Yeah, well it's scarier.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Everything's like, everything is scarier, Like I won't be reminded
in a fear.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Do you guys celebrate the attle mortos?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
We don't because I didn't grow up with it. It's
something I really came to learn about when I moved
to La Yeah, I have taken the kids and I
was thinking about trying to take them this year to
the big festival that they have at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
It's really fun. We have tried to talk about it
(24:24):
and like teach it to our kids because we think
it's like a very healthy relationship with death and loved ones.
I think we did do in a friend that last year,
Like Enzo was learning about it in school and wanted
to do one, and I said, yeah, let's do one.
And we put, you know, like a picture of our
dog Bella, and like I think David put a picture
of his grandfather, and so yeah, I think it's it's
(24:49):
so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
If you don't know about the Aettles morthos, it's the
day of the Dead, and it's you know, all these
like there's this one, there's Allsool's Day. It's basically like
Halloween and all of these like ancient sort of like
holidays around this idea that like we're the veil between
the world of the living and the world of the
dead becomes thinner and so like for the other est mottos,
(25:13):
it's like there our ancestors kind of come back and
visit us. So like I think it's ushered in. And
like with the with animals, like starting around like the
twenty eighth or something like that.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I might be full of shit, but we always.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Do our dog first, like we do our pets first,
and like, okay, you like candles, you set out food
for them, and different people do it in different ways. Oh,
those like beautiful decorated sugar skulls are part of the
tradition a lot of the time. The Katrina, the skeleton,
the dress up skeleton is part of it. Like and
(25:49):
like I think that that's such a fun way to
honor our ancestors. It makes me think of them in
this celebratory way because I think a lot of times
death is like a really scary and sad thing, and
this is a time of year where you know death
is a part of life and and celebrating our ancestors
and like having my dad's picture on our old frienda
(26:11):
our altar and like lighting a candle and then like
putting out food that he liked, Like we got him
a Coca Cola last year because he loved coke even
though he was just diabetic. He was like not supposed
to be having it, so like it stuck out there
for him, you know, just stuff like we we did
them buy them though I think it's called we hang
Papa Picallo. We like do the whole thing so that
(26:33):
Roz gets this, like because Roz is a Mexican, but
I want her growing up with as many Latino traditions
and holidays as I can, and I want her to remember,
like even from the time that she's little that like
death is a part of life, and death is something
that she doesn't always have to be scared of. It
is scary, and it can be scary to lose people,
(26:55):
and it's scary to think about life without people. But
it's also like they brought so much joy to us.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, not that we started.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Talking about fear and like we ended on this really
sweet like yeah, as you can see, I deal with
fear vibe trying trying to befriend it. Melissa, how do
you deal with fear? You think there's like a couple
of ways, right, Like what do they say?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
A couple of ways? They say, yeah, you either you
can here it is that you can freeze, you can flop,
you can friend it. You can fight it or you
can fight run away from it. I think I probably
had well, I don't think I run away from fear.
You feel like a fighter to me, as your friend
feels like you would fight. I do sometimes. Yeah, Like,
sometimes I will do something that I'll regret later because
(27:43):
I was a little scared of it, Like improv shows,
Oh my god, I'm always scared of them so much,
and so then I forced myself to say yes. And
I always after the fact, I'm like, okay, I'm kind.
I mean, I had one good show where I was like, Okay,
I'm really glad I did that. But most of the
time I'm like, I didn't need to do that. Why
(28:04):
did I do that? Why did I did not need to? Yeah?
Why did I do that to myself? So yeah, I do.
I think that is sort of my my first kind
of thing. When I feel I'm scared of something, I go, well,
I guess I guess I gotta go do it. I
guess I gotta face it and like fight that thing.
I do.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I feel that way, like with work stuff, like if
I feel scared of like like that was part of
why I wanted to do something like Twisted Metal because
I was like, I wonder if I could do like action,
like an action series, like a real action series where
I have to like learn fight choreography and like drive
cars and like you know, do that kind of like
action stuff like action. I wonder if I could do it.
(28:44):
And I was like, no, I can't do that. That's scary,
you know, yeah, and that's part of why I did it, like,
or that's part of why I wanted to do it,
you know.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
And you're killing it, and I feel I think that
that's probably so empowering to know to face a fear
like that.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
You know. Yeah, it is scary though, Like and you
can't show fear in those rits, like because you know,
not for nothing.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
I'm I'm. It's me and Anthony Mackie. He's about to
be the new Captain America, So like I cannot show fear.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Like I'm next to him and we're learning the same
fightchreography and like we're having to like team up and
do stuff, and like he's learning it so fast, he's
so strong. He's like yeah, you know, And so I
can't show fear to me. I can't show fear at
that moment because I don't want to slow the thing down.
I don't want to have anybody be like that's really
just shoot it with your you know, body double or
(29:38):
whatever because you can't handle it. Like obviously, sometimes of
course the answer is yes, right, you know I'm not
going to be in like a car slipping.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
You don't need to be.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, no, no, nobody needs to be ton needs to
be doing that stuff.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
And like, you know, not for nothing.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I watch Anthony and like I'm always taking notes about
like when he decides to do things and when he
sits back and lets his double do stuff, you know,
and it's always the super risky stuff is like nobody
wants us to get hurt. So but you know, you
throw yourself at it.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Because you go like I got to I gotta do it.
I gotta do anything. I'm scared. I gotta just do it.
You know, Yeah, you just do it. You just do it.
But what do you think flopping on fear means? That's
on this list? What does that mean? I think it's
me when I'm in a haunted house, like I just.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Go, like I close my eyes. If I could, I
would let other people carry me through a haunted house.
I would literally flop down on the ground and let
other people carry me through a haunted house.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Carry you like like like physically go like yeah, but
like like a piggyback or like a cradle.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't want to keep piggyback. Your back needs to
be to the people I need.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, so you need to be like cradled.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
That's why the Haunted Hay ride was great because we
were in the hay and they'd sit in the middle
of people. Yeah, like contained, I was contained. I closed
my eyes, I was I was Yeah, Yeah, I flop.
I would flop in certain situations. I flop for sure.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah. I just go limp, Just go limp. That's what
it means. Yeah, you're just sort of it's like a
different kind of frozen state. Maybe you're still moving, but
it's just sort of floppy.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I think in terms of like why fear is fun
for us, there there is an element and it's like
you know, science y that we we really enjoy being
scared when we know we're safe. This quote is by Regitta,
who is a doctor. Excitement is a cousin of Fear
(31:41):
founding director of the Yale Stress Center. At moderate levels,
fear makes you feel quote pumped up, which is that
thing that you were talking about earlier where.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You get like yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that is
the cousin of fear.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
David Klemansky, another another smart person smart person, direct of
the Psychological Assessment Service for Yale New Haven Hospitals, said,
we need to know when we're safe.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Quote.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Essentially, we can put ourselves in situations that are scary
because our brain knows it's not real. I will say
that that is definitely why I like listening to true
crime podcasts because I'm just but they're realm in my
car that doesn't make any sense, but they happen safe,
I'm safe. They've talked about this on My Favorite Murder,
which is one of my favorite podcasts. Ever I can't
(32:27):
how like the fans of My Favorite Murder are like,
not this is not a pun, but die hard. Like
one of the great things about listening to it is
like you're listening to these really sad, sometimes horrible, graphic
sometimes but like intense stories. Some of them are just
happened in real life, that are real that happened in
real life, but like you were listening, so like you
(32:48):
know you're safe. You're listening in your bedroom, in your
like well home, and you're also like listening for these
tips of like you know, oh, like.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
How you could survive. Okay, that I could get down Listen.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Am I ever going to help a handsome man put
some furniture in the back of his van?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Absolutely? Never, ever, ever, No.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And they have this thing that I love that they
always say fuck politeness, which I think is key, especially
for women. I think a lot of the time we're
taught to be polite. I mean, I'm teaching my kid
to be polite all the time right that I'm also
teaching I'm going to try to teach her that when
she instinctually feels something is like wrong or like doesn't
want to that that's God only too. Yeah, you know
(33:31):
what I mean, because like otherwise you're, you know, helping
somebody push a wheelchair up a ramp and suddenly you're
in someone's basement. That's directly from a book that I
just read, call Holly by Stephen King. Highly recommend. It's fantastic,
(33:52):
It's really good. Highly recommend. It's a great one.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Oh my god, more better.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Anyway, guys, we're excited for you to enjoy spooky season. Melissa,
did you do then a new thing today about yourself
like that that.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
You're are you? Are you getting more better at fear?
I guess I mean maybe, because now I'm considering listening
to true crime podcasts so that I can get survival tips.
You may have just like changed it for me. Yeah,
I think you maybe like affected me too.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I mean I think I I think I like my
own brand of scary, but I like I like some
scary things.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
I'm not as much of a little. No, it's fun
to get a little, get a little, you know, it's fun.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I mean, I'm not going on at house anytime soon,
but I would No, I'm not doing that with you.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I'm not doing that with you.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
My god, that sounds horrifying to me. Horrifying. I would
probably cry.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
So am I more better at fear? Yes? Am I
more better at Honted houses? No? No? But yeah, this
was fun to talk about.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Happy you never one, Happy elloween, Happy spooky season.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
See you next time, Bye bye, more more better.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want to talk about in a future episode?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
with Stephanie Melissa is a production from wvsound and iHeartMedia's
Mikutura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz, and Melissa Fumero.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
More Better is produced.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
By Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, and Sophie Spencer Zebos.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Our executive producers.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Are Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at wvsound. This episode
was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy
and features original music by Madison Devenport and Hey Loo Boy.
Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by
David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
You listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
See you next week, Suga Bye, Yeah
Speaker 2 (36:03):
H oh not Pokitomas mahor
If I could, I would let other people carry me
through a haunted house. I would literally flop down on
the ground and let other people carry me through of a
haunted house.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
More More Better, More More Better.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Oh hello, oh hello, and welcome to More Better, a
podcast where we stop pretending to have it all together
and embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Day, or at least trying to.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
That's Molsa for Merril, and that's Stephanie Beatrice, And here
we are, once again embracing the journey. You know, you
can't see me right now, but I mean Melissa can
see me. But I have these extensions in for this
season of Twisted Metal, and it is like impossible not
to mess with them. They are these tiny, tiny, tiny
little k tip extensions are beautifully done. They're like having
(01:01):
individual tenC tinsy ponytails on your head. Oh nuts, all
I want to do is like pull individual hairs out
of that. Yeah, there's something wrong with me. Let me
just say that, because the hell time here, the health
of my hair depends on.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Me not doing this.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
And I will consistently do this during the day, like
I'm just like fucking messing with my dumb ca tips
like I should just leave them alone. Okay, I'm gonna
try to leave them alone for this pod. Hmmm, what
have you done lightly well? So that's more better?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You're literally crossing your physically restraining yourself so that you
don't pick at your hair.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
These are expensive to treat them well, to treat them well.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay, what have you done lately? That's more better? Me?
I'm not picking up my k tips? What are you do?
Are not picking at your cake tips? I don't know.
I mean, I kind of you know, I've been I've
been on this high, this pre show, pre gig high,
just trying to ride that, and I'm doing lots of
little things more better. It definitely is. You know, it
(02:08):
sucks because part of me wishes I could be like
this all the time, but I also recognize like I
would eventually burn out. But it does feel good to
be like ultra productive every day and like getting a
lot of shit done, and also like being sort of
actively rooted in gratitude and like actively trying to be
(02:31):
present when I'm with my kids and my family. And
I don't know why. I mean, I think we're just
all human and that's life. It's hard to sustain that
for long periods of time. But I'm just really enjoying
this moment right now where I feel all those things.
But yeah, it's because I'm about to leave. You know.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
I'm not to like Devil's advocate you, but I will say, like,
maybe it's getting easier to be in that moment, you know,
like maybe you do yet and like you're just getting
better at doing it.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I think it's like.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Being in a mode where you feel your best, whether
whatever the circumstances around it are. It's like sometimes you
just like start getting better at doing that stuff, you know,
and like you are supercharged right now because you are
going to leave soon. So like there's that element of
it too, But like there's nothing that says you can't
take some of this motivation and like take it beyond
the job and take it, take it into the job,
(03:26):
take it.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Beyond the job, you know, Like yeah, no, And you're
totally right because I think actually in the past, I
feel like when I left for Blockbuster to do that show, Uh,
I don't think I was this positive. I think I
was more anxious and stressed out and like frozen a
little bit, you know. So thank you for pointing that out, because, yeah,
(03:48):
I me realize in this moment that like there is
improvement I think with like, you know, the anxiety of
leaving and being separated from my family, and I think
I'm I'm approaching it in a healthier, more positive way
than I have in the past. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, listen,
you thank you for pointing that out. Friend.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
You know, all it took uh for me to be
able to point that out to you was uh.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Me going to therapy and getting on some meds. You
know what I mean. Heany you gotta do what you
gotta do. That's also growth. That's also growth. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And like I think this is about in about a month,
it'll be a year since I've been on medication to
help with anxiety and depression. And I have been really
good about taking it every day. I've been really good
at like seeing where my anxiety comes from, seeing if
(04:44):
I hate to you know, if I need to medicate,
uh if meaning like sometimes I have like additional meds
that I can take during the day if I really
need them. Yeah, but that's something that I've done lately
that's way more better then that's a been one.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
And helps me a lot.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
I mean from from where I was, Like, I guess
it was last year. Last year to now is like
day and night for how I feel about almost everything.
You know, my brain just like was not in a
place that it could help itself anymore with those feelings,
and like, and I am. If anybody is somebody that
(05:25):
wants to try to do it by themselves, it's me.
I'm like, no, I don't need meds. I don't need
to do that.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I don't need that. It's like people that are weak and.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Can't do it on their own, and like that's not
true at all.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
It's just not at all. Sometimes you just need help,
you know. Yeah, And it sounds like you're you're much
more able to get to the root causes of your
anxiety or some of the things that are hard for
you because you have Yeah yeah, not always, but not
always because it's hard, but yeah, but it's definitely much
(05:58):
harder to do when you're buried under yes, all of them.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, then it's just like it's too big of a mountain.
It's just like m hmm, everything is scary.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, more better, Yeah, speaking of scary, speaking of scary,
Since we're in spooky season, happy October. Well, we're not
talking about spooky stuff per se, but we are talking
about fear today. Spooky season. Is that what you call it?
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
That is what I call it, maybe because I have
small children and we're talking about spooky creepy things all day.
I have one Halloween kid and one kid. When I
say Halloween kid, I mean a kid. Please talk about
the doll, Please talk about the animated thing. My god,
oh my god, it's so funny. Last year, my youngest son, Axel,
and so he is, he was three last year, three
(06:50):
years old, and he is obsessed with Halloween. Talks about
Halloween all year, like needs periodic reminders of how long
it is until the next Halloween. This starts at like
Christmas and goes all year. And he last year, he uh,
I led him. I took him to the store a
couple of times to pick out some new ghosts to
(07:11):
decorate our house or whatever. And he got really into it.
And there was this doll that was a white faced
ghost looking doll with a black dress and her hair
black hair and pigtails and like no eyes. But when
you're a type terrifying when you turn her on, her
eyes are just glow green, possessed doll, possessed all and
(07:32):
she goes, I bet you can't do what I can do.
Watch this, and she takes her head off, which is
accompanied by like this like like creepy music, and then
she goes and then she puts her head back on.
She goes, I bet you can't do that. And he
(07:54):
wanted her so.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Badly, totally normal three years old.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
And at first I was like, no, this is an
impulsive decision, like we're going to get home and you're
gonna be like this doll is terrifying, And so I
said no, and we went home, and then for like
fort days straight, he asked about the doll and I went, fuck,
he really wants this fucking doll. Oh my god, that's
so funny. So I went and got him the doll.
But you know what plot twist This year. I brought
(08:20):
her out of the closet and he said, Mama, I
think she's a little too creepy this year. Wow, okay,
I said, you want me to like donate hers and
he said no, no, she can go back in the closet.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Let's see next year, oh buddy, or no, actually.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
He didn't have you put her back in the in
the closet. He just had me instead of putting her
out as a decoration. She's just kind of like in
the corner of like the player. Like she's not that's
not creepy at all, but like she can she can
be accessed. Is she not plugged in? She plugged in?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Er she battery powered? No, she's battery powered. She's just
like some batteries here. Scare the shit out of your husband.
She's so creepy to be like, No, I didn't put
batteries in, babe. I didn't put batteries in her this year.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
That's so weird. I like move her around the house.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Yeah, just keep Oh no, because she scares my older
one's so much.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Well that's what you're gonna say, right the other kid,
the other child is not interested in this.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
No. He watched Nightmare before Christmas for the very first
time because his brother, at two years old, insisted on
watching it and then watched it every single day, and
Enzo was like forced to see it. And he doesn't
like it. He thinks it's scary, And now he liked it.
Now he likes it. But the first time he saw it,
he was like, why does he like this movie? This
movie is so scary and I was like, it's not. Though.
(09:40):
I was like, I get they look a little creepy,
but they're just like spooky, it's fun. And I was like,
he's too, and he's like he's into it, into it. Yeah.
So I kind of ended up being a good thing
for him.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
But I saw a Nightmare before Christmas for the first
time when I was like fifteen or something, and I
was not about it. I was like, no, I don't
like this. I felt like they were making it creepy
and I liked Christmas.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
I was like no, uh huh.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
But I rewatched it yesterday. I've rewatched it since then.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
But I watched it yesterday for the first time with
Roz who was three, and she was mez my Ries,
mezz my Ries.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
She got another.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Spooky, spooky kid because she was like into it, like.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Well, I remember last year, yeah, when you guys trigger
treated with us. She was all into the nothing. None
of the decorations scared her now nothing. She was right
there with Axel just being like this is awesome. It
might not last, but like right now, shes spooky Dookie.
She loves spooky Dookie. This season is scary for me.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I'm a really I'm a little baby when it comes
to some of this stuff, like.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Are you yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
I yes, I.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
I don't know why I'm smiling with glee right now. Okay,
So here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
As an actor, it's fun because like you, like if
you're on set and so something scary or like there's
blood and guts and stuff, like you.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Are aware that it's fake. It's very fake.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You know you've read the script or whatever whatever whatever, right,
And like, so I did this play in London two
years ago, I think, and it was called two twenty two.
And the whole play is like scary. It's a scary, right,
It's like a scary plach of like jump scares in
it and they're scared. There's like ghosty, ghosty ideas. Like
it's fun and as somebody who loves that stuff, like
(11:28):
loves to be in it, that's one thing, right. But
the first time I read the script, I read it
at midnight and I stayed up to read it and
I was fucking scared by the end of it. I
like scared myself could not sleep like scared me. And
this is coming from someone who really likes, like I
(11:48):
love a true crime podcast that used to go to
sleep with them on all.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah, that's what I think why I'm surprised.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
But I cannot do a haunted house.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I can't.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I will close my eyes and bury my face into
the person in front of me. I cannot do Halloween
horror nights.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
At what's it called, Oh yeah, Universal Universal. I can't
do it.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
I can't even really do Ougi Boogie, Like I've never
bought tickets to Oogi Boogie Bash in Disneyland, and I
love Disneyland.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
When we were on our honeymoon and we went to.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Disneyland in Tokyo, I was pretty freaked out when we
were in the Hunted mansion because it's different and it's
bigger and it's spookier, and I was pretty scared. Like
I was like, like I.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Have my eyes closed a couple times.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
I don't know what it is, Like I have memories
of being a kid and being on pirates and it
being really scary for me. Like it's like something about
not knowing where the story's going to go, or like
what's going to happen. That is the control freak part
of my brain just gets really I cannot handle it.
Like I don't want to watch scary movies. I'm not
real good at it, Like I have to watch with
(12:56):
a group and I have to make fun of them.
I can't go see a scary movie in the theater
because you know, no one's gonna want me to be
like doing my bits, Like yeah, only I can survive
a scary movie is or I can like sit with
my friends on the couch and like do bits.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I am so fascinated by this because I find true
crime stories and podcasts or movies scary movies that feel
too much like they could happen in real life, that
like don't have a ghost or supernatural element freak me
the fuck out and stress me out, and I don't
(13:31):
I don't want to know. I don't want to know.
I don't want to know about serial killers. I don't
want to know about you know, I don't want to
It's the reason I could never watch like the Saw movies. Like,
and I like watching scary movies, but like something about
soft felt too.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Like I was like too gory and it's too like
like just a deranged guy.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Like even Silence of the Lambs to me was like
so much more scary than like The Ring, do you
know what I mean? Because I was like this could
really happen like in real life, like and I and
I just I find those stories like so so scary.
But I love I love a scary movie. I love
(14:10):
a scary movie with like a supernatural or like ghost
element to it, I guess, and like they scare me,
but like it's a fun scary And I love going
to hotted houses and I love going to fright Night
and I love it. I love it. I love it.
It's so fun.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
No no, no, like when the people are like up
on you.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oh yes, war.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
War. So I have like a very interesting relationship I
guess with fear because like I like it. It's fun,
Like it's fun to be in situations where you know
you're safe. Yeah, and it's a little bit scary or whatever,
but there's the moment, the moment where you don't know
it's fake. The but like I don't know my body just.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Like ugh, like I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I just can't do it. I don't know, I don't know.
I yeah, Like.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
What what can you think on like a time that
you felt really scared, Like what was your immediate like
how did you react to it?
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Well, I remember the first time that I was like
deathly scared was we had a babysitter when I was
like seven, and she let us watch Nightmare on Elm Street.
The first one.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Oh, I was too scared to see Nightmare on Elm
Street when I was a kid with the bed scene
with Johnny Depp. I never saw it.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Actually, it fucked me up because like the waterbed thing
where he gets like sucked into the water spoiler.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Lord, if you haven't seen it, this movie's like forty
years old. I remember that clip.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, I was fucked up, and like this was somebody
that like, you know, not that my brain thought this
necessarily at the time, but like a babysitter is an adult,
so like you're like, oh, well, this must be safe
if she's letting us do it, like she had the
mindful of that and you were seven seven, I was
that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, And I remember sitting in front.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Of seven, sitting in front of the TV, being like
but there was something about it that like I couldn't
walk away from, you know, And then like there are
times where I've been scared, but it was like too real.
Like when my when my sister was three, no two,
my mom was setting the table and I think we
were gonna have people come over because she was setting
(16:30):
steak knives on the table and there were those serrated
steak knives you know.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Oh yeah, I'll never forget I made a wood wooden handle. Yeah,
we had n there like that.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Yeah, they were very popular in the eighties. And Jenny
was two and she was sitting on one of the
chairs the dining room table. My mom was setting the table.
My mom had very short hair at the time, very chic,
and I remember being close to my sister who was
sitting on the big chair, and my sister grabbed a
knife and before anybody could do anything, she took the
knife and just stabbed it straight into.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Her knee, like oh.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
And there was blood everywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I mean, like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
We were in the car on Like what I remember
is us being in the Bronco on the way to
the hospital. My mom like scream crying, my sister scream crying.
My somebody had wrapped like a towel around Jenny's leg.
It was like blood was just gushing everywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
And then I remember being in the emergency room and
like I remember, the room was small, there was a
table over there.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
My mom and dad were like in front.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Of Jenny, so I couldn't see what was happening, and
the doctor was also on the other side of the
blockade of adults. Jenny was behind them, so I couldn't see,
and I was like in a chair in the corner
of the room. And I remember laughing hysterically, like I
was hissed.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Laughing because I didn't know what to do because she
was screaming so loud. Oh my god, laugh is murder.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
And like I remember, like I remember knowing like I
should not be laughing right now, but there.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Was nothing like my b He was just like no.
And sometimes that's just the reaction. I have a kid
who laughs when he gets shots. He's so scared of shots,
and then every time it happens, he starts laughing. I mean,
how can it's so hot feel it's so terrifying that
you have to laugh. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
God, I'll never forget it though. On that Jenny still
has a big star. I was a frigging psychopath.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Is she laughing?
Speaker 1 (18:27):
She wasn't been like, that's a sociopath. I'm a sociopaths child.
Just giggling, fucking I'll never forget it. So anyway, me
and scary things, we have a little bit of a
Now there's like, have you heard about these haunted houses
where you have to sign waivers and the you're like
they can touch you and they can like do all
(18:47):
sorts of Like there's haunted houses where you have to
sign a waiver because they're like people have had. Maybe
I'm like bullshitting right now, maybe this is not true. Guys, No,
don't give anything I say.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
I love going to I haven't been to one in
a really long time, but when I was younger, we
used to go every year. That was like part of
our Halloween season tradition, was like to at least hit
a haunted house. The two best ones I went to.
One was an oh oh uh Headless Horseman? Where's Headless Horseman? From? Oh?
(19:20):
In New York Sleepy Hollow, sleep Hollow? Stop, you went
to a haunted house in Sleepy Hollow. Yes. First of all,
Sleepy Hollow is a dope fucking place to go during
hollow times because they go all out and they had
a motherfucking real man on a real ass horse with
a pup with no head, holding the pumpkin head, riding
(19:42):
the horse back and forth as you waited online. I
don't like it. I don't like And then it was
like a hole. It wasn't I think, I don't think
it was a house. It was like it was a
whole outdoor maze kind of thing that you went through
and people jumped out and scared you, and the jokes
were so good. And then you saw the again at
the end and it was amazing. And I have a
(20:04):
really beautiful Christmas ornament of like a headless horseman from
Oh my God, that trip. I don't like it. I
don't like it, but I do like it. Yeah. And
then I went to another good one in Pennsylvania once.
Oh god, that was like very thorough and people chased
you and oh so fun. What if you trip? What
do they do they help you up? What happened to trip? Oh?
(20:29):
Oh no, I don't I'm not in I'm not interested.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
We you know, we went to the Haunted hay Ride
once in Oh yeah, La. We waited a really long time.
Those weight lines are long, long long. We were in
line for hours, and then we finally did it, and
I was like, this isn't gonna be and it was
plure thing I was.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
I had the worst war.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I was like, I waited three hours in line for
what to close my eyes because I was so scared.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
The whole time. Oh my God. But I do I
think there is something sort of invigorating about getting scared.
I think it's kind of good to do once in
a while. I think it's like I don't know, I
think it's it's good for like your brain. And I
feel like when I was little, there were definitely scary
movies that like scared the shit out of me. And
Candy Man. I don't think I showered for like a
(21:17):
week after seeing Oh my God. I could not go
in the bathroom for anything. I was terrified of the
bathroom after Candy Man. That movie scared the shit out
of me. Absolutely not no thing. But I think that
there was something in me at that age, like those
like older kids sort of tween years, that like, even
(21:41):
though some things really scared me, there was something I
liked about it. And I think it was this little
like adrenaline thing, or this like feeling alive kind of
thing or I don't. I think that there is. I
think there can be positive things to fear.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I mean, I also like, not for nothing, one of
the first sex scenes I ever saw on TV or
like in a movie was a video like a VHS
with some like crappy horror movie where there was there's
always sex scenes in those movies, right.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, always sex scenes. It's always like.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
You know what I mean, like Virginity in the eighties
and stuff, and like people are like doing it in
the woods, and like you know, we'd be like downstairs
in someone's basement, like rewinding the sex scene, you know,
like and then everyone gets killed at the end whatever whatever,
but like do the sex scene again. You know, like
there was something for me that like connected the two
(22:34):
in my brain because like at the time, like oh well,
let's rent the scary movie. Like nobody's gonna let you
rent like a sexy movie, but like they'll let you
rent a scary movie watching the basement with no adults.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
No to self, don't let that happen.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
But like you know, then there's that all the lore
about the final girl stuff. You know, like in movies,
there's like there's these tropes of like, oh, well, the
characters that have sex are definitely gonna die, you know,
there's always a final girl.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Oh yeah, that's what I really liked about the Scream movie.
Like the first time I saw it, I was just like, oh,
this movie is kind of brilliant, the way it's like,
oh my god, the first Scream movie. Do you remember
watching that? Brilliant brilliant? Like now you watch it and
you're like, how is this so popular? It was kind
of it's kind of a little bit hokey, and but
I at that time it was so good. At the time,
(23:23):
it was brilliant. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I was turning those tropes on its head, and it
was like really doing things that hadn't happened before in
that genre at all. More, I have a complicated relationship
with scary stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
I think, uh huh yeah sense Yeah, I know. I
have to be into like a right frame of mind
to see a scary movie, which I found has been
less so since having kids. Yeah, well it's scarier.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Everything's like, everything is scarier, Like I won't be reminded
in a fear.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Do you guys celebrate the attle mortos?
Speaker 2 (24:04):
We don't because I didn't grow up with it. It's
something I really came to learn about when I moved
to La Yeah, I have taken the kids and I
was thinking about trying to take them this year to
the big festival that they have at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
It's really fun. We have tried to talk about it
(24:24):
and like teach it to our kids because we think
it's like a very healthy relationship with death and loved ones.
I think we did do in a friend that last year,
Like Enzo was learning about it in school and wanted
to do one, and I said, yeah, let's do one.
And we put, you know, like a picture of our
dog Bella, and like I think David put a picture
of his grandfather, and so yeah, I think it's it's
(24:49):
so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
If you don't know about the Aettles morthos, it's the
day of the Dead, and it's you know, all these
like there's this one, there's Allsool's Day. It's basically like
Halloween and all of these like ancient sort of like
holidays around this idea that like we're the veil between
the world of the living and the world of the
dead becomes thinner and so like for the other est mottos,
(25:13):
it's like there our ancestors kind of come back and
visit us. So like I think it's ushered in. And
like with the with animals, like starting around like the
twenty eighth or something like that.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
I might be full of shit, but we always.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Do our dog first, like we do our pets first,
and like, okay, you like candles, you set out food
for them, and different people do it in different ways. Oh,
those like beautiful decorated sugar skulls are part of the
tradition a lot of the time. The Katrina, the skeleton,
the dress up skeleton is part of it. Like and
(25:49):
like I think that that's such a fun way to
honor our ancestors. It makes me think of them in
this celebratory way because I think a lot of times
death is like a really scary and sad thing, and
this is a time of year where you know death
is a part of life and and celebrating our ancestors
and like having my dad's picture on our old frienda
(26:11):
our altar and like lighting a candle and then like
putting out food that he liked, Like we got him
a Coca Cola last year because he loved coke even
though he was just diabetic. He was like not supposed
to be having it, so like it stuck out there
for him, you know, just stuff like we we did
them buy them though I think it's called we hang
Papa Picallo. We like do the whole thing so that
(26:33):
Roz gets this, like because Roz is a Mexican, but
I want her growing up with as many Latino traditions
and holidays as I can, and I want her to remember,
like even from the time that she's little that like
death is a part of life, and death is something
that she doesn't always have to be scared of. It
is scary, and it can be scary to lose people,
(26:55):
and it's scary to think about life without people. But
it's also like they brought so much joy to us.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, not that we started.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Talking about fear and like we ended on this really
sweet like yeah, as you can see, I deal with
fear vibe trying trying to befriend it. Melissa, how do
you deal with fear? You think there's like a couple
of ways, right, Like what do they say?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
A couple of ways? They say, yeah, you either you
can here it is that you can freeze, you can flop,
you can friend it. You can fight it or you
can fight run away from it. I think I probably
had well, I don't think I run away from fear.
You feel like a fighter to me, as your friend
feels like you would fight. I do sometimes. Yeah, Like,
sometimes I will do something that I'll regret later because
(27:43):
I was a little scared of it, Like improv shows,
Oh my god, I'm always scared of them so much,
and so then I forced myself to say yes. And
I always after the fact, I'm like, okay, I'm kind.
I mean, I had one good show where I was like, Okay,
I'm really glad I did that. But most of the
time I'm like, I didn't need to do that. Why
(28:04):
did I do that? Why did I did not need to? Yeah?
Why did I do that to myself? So yeah, I do.
I think that is sort of my my first kind
of thing. When I feel I'm scared of something, I go, well,
I guess I guess I gotta go do it. I
guess I gotta face it and like fight that thing.
I do.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
I feel that way, like with work stuff, like if
I feel scared of like like that was part of
why I wanted to do something like Twisted Metal because
I was like, I wonder if I could do like action,
like an action series, like a real action series where
I have to like learn fight choreography and like drive
cars and like you know, do that kind of like
action stuff like action. I wonder if I could do it.
(28:44):
And I was like, no, I can't do that. That's scary,
you know, yeah, and that's part of why I did it, like,
or that's part of why I wanted to do it,
you know.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
And you're killing it, and I feel I think that
that's probably so empowering to know to face a fear
like that.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
You know. Yeah, it is scary though, Like and you
can't show fear in those rits, like because you know,
not for nothing.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
I'm I'm. It's me and Anthony Mackie. He's about to
be the new Captain America, So like I cannot show fear.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Like I'm next to him and we're learning the same
fightchreography and like we're having to like team up and
do stuff, and like he's learning it so fast, he's
so strong. He's like yeah, you know, And so I
can't show fear to me. I can't show fear at
that moment because I don't want to slow the thing down.
I don't want to have anybody be like that's really
just shoot it with your you know, body double or
(29:38):
whatever because you can't handle it. Like obviously, sometimes of
course the answer is yes, right, you know I'm not
going to be in like a car slipping.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
You don't need to be.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, no, no, nobody needs to be ton needs to
be doing that stuff.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
And like, you know, not for nothing.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I watch Anthony and like I'm always taking notes about
like when he decides to do things and when he
sits back and lets his double do stuff, you know,
and it's always the super risky stuff is like nobody
wants us to get hurt. So but you know, you
throw yourself at it.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Because you go like I got to I gotta do it.
I gotta do anything. I'm scared. I gotta just do it.
You know, Yeah, you just do it. You just do it.
But what do you think flopping on fear means? That's
on this list? What does that mean? I think it's
me when I'm in a haunted house, like I just.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Go, like I close my eyes. If I could, I
would let other people carry me through a haunted house.
I would literally flop down on the ground and let
other people carry me through a haunted house.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Carry you like like like physically go like yeah, but
like like a piggyback or like a cradle.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't want to keep piggyback. Your back needs to
be to the people I need.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yeah, so you need to be like cradled.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
That's why the Haunted Hay ride was great because we
were in the hay and they'd sit in the middle
of people. Yeah, like contained, I was contained. I closed
my eyes, I was I was Yeah, Yeah, I flop.
I would flop in certain situations. I flop for sure.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah. I just go limp, Just go limp. That's what
it means. Yeah, you're just sort of it's like a
different kind of frozen state. Maybe you're still moving, but
it's just sort of floppy.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I think in terms of like why fear is fun
for us, there there is an element and it's like
you know, science y that we we really enjoy being
scared when we know we're safe. This quote is by Regitta,
who is a doctor. Excitement is a cousin of Fear
(31:41):
founding director of the Yale Stress Center. At moderate levels,
fear makes you feel quote pumped up, which is that
thing that you were talking about earlier where.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You get like yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that is
the cousin of fear.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
David Klemansky, another another smart person smart person, direct of
the Psychological Assessment Service for Yale New Haven Hospitals, said,
we need to know when we're safe.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Quote.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Essentially, we can put ourselves in situations that are scary
because our brain knows it's not real. I will say
that that is definitely why I like listening to true
crime podcasts because I'm just but they're realm in my
car that doesn't make any sense, but they happen safe,
I'm safe. They've talked about this on My Favorite Murder,
which is one of my favorite podcasts. Ever I can't
(32:27):
how like the fans of My Favorite Murder are like,
not this is not a pun, but die hard. Like
one of the great things about listening to it is
like you're listening to these really sad, sometimes horrible, graphic
sometimes but like intense stories. Some of them are just
happened in real life, that are real that happened in
real life, but like you were listening, so like you
(32:48):
know you're safe. You're listening in your bedroom, in your
like well home, and you're also like listening for these
tips of like you know, oh, like.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
How you could survive. Okay, that I could get down Listen.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Am I ever going to help a handsome man put
some furniture in the back of his van?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
Absolutely? Never, ever, ever, No.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And they have this thing that I love that they
always say fuck politeness, which I think is key, especially
for women. I think a lot of the time we're
taught to be polite. I mean, I'm teaching my kid
to be polite all the time right that I'm also
teaching I'm going to try to teach her that when
she instinctually feels something is like wrong or like doesn't
want to that that's God only too. Yeah, you know
(33:31):
what I mean, because like otherwise you're, you know, helping
somebody push a wheelchair up a ramp and suddenly you're
in someone's basement. That's directly from a book that I
just read, call Holly by Stephen King. Highly recommend. It's fantastic,
(33:52):
It's really good. Highly recommend. It's a great one.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Oh my god, more better.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Anyway, guys, we're excited for you to enjoy spooky season. Melissa,
did you do then a new thing today about yourself
like that that.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
You're are you? Are you getting more better at fear?
I guess I mean maybe, because now I'm considering listening
to true crime podcasts so that I can get survival tips.
You may have just like changed it for me. Yeah,
I think you maybe like affected me too.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
I mean I think I I think I like my
own brand of scary, but I like I like some
scary things.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
I'm not as much of a little. No, it's fun
to get a little, get a little, you know, it's fun.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I mean, I'm not going on at house anytime soon,
but I would No, I'm not doing that with you.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
I'm not doing that with you.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
My god, that sounds horrifying to me. Horrifying. I would
probably cry.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
So am I more better at fear? Yes? Am I
more better at Honted houses? No? No? But yeah, this
was fun to talk about.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Happy you never one, Happy elloween, Happy spooky season.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
See you next time, Bye bye, more more better.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want to talk about in a future episode?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
with Stephanie Melissa is a production from wvsound and iHeartMedia's
Mikutura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephanie Beatriz, and Melissa Fumero.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
More Better is produced.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
By Isis Madrid, Leo Clem, and Sophie Spencer Zebos.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Our executive producers.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Are Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Clem at wvsound. This episode
was edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy
and features original music by Madison Devenport and Hey Loo Boy.
Our cover art is by Vincent Remis and photography by
David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
You listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
See you next week, Suga Bye, Yeah
Speaker 2 (36:03):
H oh not Pokitomas mahor
Hosts And Creators
Stephanie Beatriz
Melissa Fumero
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