September 25, 2025 • 47 mins
What makes a “girl's girl”? Is it wiping a stranger's tears in the bathroom, helping her block her ex’s number and then lending her your lip gloss? Does it mean agreeing with every woman you’ve ever met (or haven’t met), on every subject, no matter what it is? Or is it as simple as stepping off another girl’s couple if you’re a contestant on Love Island? Inspired by the Huda of it all, Stephanie and Melissa dive into what it really means to be a “girl's girl” in this day and age, and whether they claim that label for themselves. Also, what ever happened to “girl code”?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Did I ever tell you that one time that I
was an audition and I was like trying to be
friendly to people and there was a girl that was like, oh,
what are you singing? I've told you the story. She
was like, oh what are you singing? And I showed
her and she was like, oh that's brave. That was
like I think I went home something. I was like devastated.
That is not being a girl's girl.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Does not being a girl's girl?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
More Better, More and more, A little bit more better.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
More, Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop
pretending to have it all together.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Day, or at least trying to. That's definitie the interest.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
That's a little of a girl. Here we are in person.
If you are listening to this on iHeart or wherever
else you find your podcasts. You can also find us
on YouTube. We're here in person. You can check out
our outfits and what my hair might be doing well.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Today or not has doing today. It's mad that I
tried to straight. We're great, We're doing great. We're doing great.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
We're doing great. What have you done lately? That's a
little more better. Deep in hell, Deep in hell.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I feel like I've said this so many times on
the pod.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
I am back in the workout routine, back on the wagon.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Okay, as they say.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
That mean for you, For me, that means like more
structured eating food choices, not just like all day every day,
just like this is, you know, a little bit of
meal planning, just intentional choices, and then working out while
(01:56):
taking advantage of the fact that I'm not on set
right now. And this is a very privileged thing to say,
but working out five days a week amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Trying to maybe go for like three weeks of seven
days a week.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Girl, three weeks of seven days a week, that's not
good for your body.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
But not like not les not like an hour long workout,
like a like like a recovery workout. Yeah, like a
recovery workout, or like one day is a yoga or
like a stretch or like just like a physical movement
for twenty thirty minutes. I fell off the consistency.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
For a few weeks, and now I'm back.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The consistencies everything with workouts, it really is. I mean,
you don't want to be doing the same thing all
the time, but it really is.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
But when you like don't move sometimes just for like
a week, and then you start again.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
You're like, I mean it's like three days, Like if
I don't do something, I get. I mean it's also
because it releases endorphins and stuff. Yeah, like I get
Hella depressed, like Hella depressed. And then I'm like, why
do I want to just stay in my bed all
the time. Oh, it's because I haven't moved my body
in like three days. Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh well that's great.
Yeah that's wonderful. What about you? What have you done later?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
It's better?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Let me see. I have since trying to spend some
you know, extended quality time with my child and not
judging myself about sometimes that's TV.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, I love watching stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
We watched Hercules, and then we watched the Lego Disney Princess.
Yes there's two of them now. I highly enjoyed all three.
I mean, I love Hercules. I think it's fantastic, bless Mass.
I love it, love it, love I love it. But yeah,
I've been spending time with her and not judging myself
(03:34):
for the like the way the way then spending time.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah, time is time, man.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
It just be like that. It just be like that.
Sometimes you gotta just watch TV. My therapist gave me
the A okay on that one. Listen.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Some of the best conversations I've had with my kids
have been off of watching something.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah that's real, you know it's.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Really It sparks a conversation, or it's like or it
gives you the opportunity to be like, wow, what did
you think when the character made that choice?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Or or what do you think is going to happen?
Thinking is the end of the story. The other day,
I was reading her Cinderella and After the Ball, like
she never she's not seen the movie or anything, And
I was reading her out of a book that we have,
and oh, is it one of those cute little books
with the little the Golden Book? No, okay, it was
(04:18):
a book that I stole from set sorry that was
like a vintage collection of Disney stories And I was like,
is this and they were like, I don't know. We
just bought it for a start dressing. And I was like, oh,
I don't you hear that. I actually never stolen from
stut before. But I was like, this book is from
like nineteen sixty, so I had to take it home.
I wish I had stolen so much more from the
Brooklyn nine nine set. I didn't take anything. People always
(04:41):
ask me like, what'd you steal, and I'm like, I
don't steal, so like, I didn't take anything.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I wasn't raised to be a thief, so I didn't
take anything.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
But anyway, that this book that I stole, Yeah, But
I was reading it to her and we got to
the park where you know, Cinderella leaves the ball and
she has the one glass slipper and like the coach
turns back into pumpkin or whatever, and it was at
the end of a page and I was like, I
stopped reading. I was like, do you think that's the end?
And she was like no, like devastated that, like possibly
(05:11):
this would be the end. And I was like, sometimes
that is the end of the story, Like you get
that one night. It's very special.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
And then I was like, this is a lesson for later. Yeah,
You're like, we're right now, you know what I mean?
And keep it moving more better. So this week we're
talking about being it's controversial, it's a hot it's a
(05:39):
hot topic. Being a girl's girl, Being a girl's girl.
I'm kind of stressed about this topic. Actually, I think
I am too.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yeah, when I first read the outline in our email
that our brilliant producer is just gives us that I'm
giving a side I do off camera, I read it
as for some reason like like being a girl, like
girly girl, being a girly girl, and I was like, yeah,
not being like.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
And me being like, oh no, that's so funny. And
then I read the outline. I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
No no utter failure at this. It's gonna be fine.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
But it is, it's it's it's uh, it's tricky.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I'm gonna read the definition of what we have down here. Obviously,
this is like a in flux right, actively supporting and
uplifting other women, rejecting negative societal stereotypes, the foster competition,
and fostering authentic female community rather than seeing other women
as threats. Now on the page, it sounds per utopian,
(06:51):
hundred percent fantastic. We all want to be that girl.
Sounds great. I'm that girl. Yes, I want other women
to do this all the time. Yes, what the reality
is that A this is very difficult to do at
all times. One hundred percent of the time. Yeah, and
b not everybody has this active definition of it. It's
(07:13):
not like we all are carrying around this definition or memorized. Right. So,
like some people's idea of what it is to be
a girl's girl is different than others, and so we're
gonna kind of get into that too. This idea has
always been around. It's like the sort of like girl's
girl of it has been popularized through like TikTok and
(07:33):
Instagram and stuff. Yeah, it's having a moment, right, Yeah,
but it used to be called like girl code, yeah
or uh not rose before hose. But the other one
not that behave that. Actually I can't remember what the
female one is. It's like something kind of rude. It's
(07:55):
like bitches before not.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Oh no, I remember, I want to be like cunts before.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Like ovaries before ovaries before brovaries.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
That is very gendered but hilarious. I mean on the surface, obviously,
this is a great idea, right, Like it would be
wonderful to walk down the street and have anyone that
is a woman like and like, let's be real, Like
this is gonna get tricky because we're going to get
into language that's like girls, women fems Like who is
(08:35):
who gets to say what? But like, for purposes of
this conversation, like let's just say like girls and fems, right,
people that are like I'm a girl, right, you're in
You're in this club, but some girls are whack as fuck.
Like the reality is that not all human beings are great.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Right that there's yes, like I yeah, like I know
I want to be that woman that supports and uplifts
and defends and.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Is like yeah, women power.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Then also you trash and I don't. Yeah, I don't
want to have your back, like I definitely don't have mine, Like.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
If you don't have mine, like or if you like
are So let's let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Get into it.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Think of like what does a girl's girl mean to you?
Like what does that for you? To define that in
your brain? Like what is that for you?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, I think you're like Stephanie Bee literally like I do.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Like I think our dynamic is very that.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
I think it's you know, like, yeah, I think we're
a good example of a girl's girl dynamic because we're
in the same industry, like we it doesn't happen that often,
but occasionally we're competing for the same roles like um,
because people are dumb dumb, yeah, so different, like if
(09:59):
you want both of us, like you're trying, you don't know, yeah, kind.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Of the broadest just like I don't know, like yeah,
the Walls.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Says, but we're we were like cheerleaders for each other.
I genuinely get psyched when you're doing something cool or
I see you doing something cool or and you know,
I I mean, god, that time we were in Disneyland
and your voice was ringing. I'm getting chills now, get
ringing out over the fireworks show, like and I fucking
(10:33):
cried like a baby, you know, because I'm so proud
of you, and I'm proud of everything you've done. And
I think when you when you love someone, but especially
when it's a woman, and you know that there's things
are just like a little harder and there's different obstacles,
and like maybe some of your male colleagues in the
same industry like it, just so the winds just feel bigger,
(10:53):
you know, and you want to celebrate them and just
and it's also to me, being a girl's girl is
very much that what's that saying, like like be the
kind of woman that fixes another woman's crown without it
without pointing it out, like it's that thing too, of
helping and supporting without it feeling like like virtue signaling
(11:19):
or performative or you know, to prove anything. It's like
genuinely be that person that's gonna like do it without
do it without making a big deal out of it.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
You know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
That's what I I kind of try to strive for. Yeah, yeah,
I think I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I'm with you in that, Like I want, you know,
in an ideal world, all of the interactions that I
would have with women would be friendly, kind, generous, graceful,
you know, like meaning like allowing grace for the other
person's like whatever's going on with them. Yeah, as opposed
(11:59):
to like full of judgment or something. Yeah, I I
really like what you said about like things are tougher. Yeah,
for women, it'd be like that, just like that. But
we do live in a patriarchy.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Everything is just like a little Sometimes it's way harder,
and then sometimes it's just little ways.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, thing little things or big things. But either way
it's like, well, who's going to have each other's backs then? Right,
And like so it's disappointing sometimes when it feels like
some women align themselves with like the strength that is
(12:43):
in power just to be safe, you know, it feels
like really like yeah, guys, like if we all banded together,
like if we were all on the same sort of side,
if we were all like helping each other, then it
would be like less like O don't no competitive sometimes
(13:04):
or and like the the competition thing is like it's
not just related to work, right, Like sometimes it's related
to love interests. Sometimes it's related to how we look,
how we function in society, our abilities as wives, mothers, friends,
(13:25):
working people, like our earning power, our it like it
sucks because we're in like this, we're in this like
ring where sometimes it feels like we're in a ring
where they've like thrown us all in there and are
like all right, climb out and you get a prize.
And like instead of us being like, oh shit, let's
(13:47):
do like a human chain kind of thing and like
pull each other up like as we go, it feels
very like, well, who can I fucking murder from it?
And then like I'll just pile up all the dead
bodies like this it feels good. I can't feel very
much like that, and so like it can be really
difficult because like I, of course want to be I
(14:08):
want to believe that every woman that I meet, every
friend that I meet, is a girl's girl. But the
reality that I've actually lived is that sometimes I get
fucked over because I'm like, I'm I give you the
benefit of the doubt all the time, and like you know,
my legs get chopped out from underneath me. So like
that is a tricky thing, Like it's not just about it.
(14:33):
I wish it was just about like I want to
support all other women, but like it can I think,
like the value system is like differs between people, and.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
I think about this, Yes it does make sense, But
I think about this a lot about the origin of
that kind of because I feel like when we were teenagers,
or when I was a teenager, it was like do
you know what I'm saying, Like it was the height
that like late nineties to early two thousands, even like twenties,
early twenty tens, that culture of like women pitted against women,
(15:07):
the you know, there were constantly, like you know, the
Paris Hilton days of like and who's beefing with who?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
And who's in a.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Scandal, and and I feel like I grew up around
and I remember in high school being like.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Where are the feminists?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Like where where have they gone?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Where are they?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, you know, I don't see any anywhere. And I
feel like so much of that time period.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Because it felt like it was a whole decade of
it where it was permeated the pop culture so deeply
it like rewired some women, do you know what I mean?
I think it rewired me for a moment, and I
had to like deprogram myself. But that competitiveness, that like
(15:55):
there's only room for a few of us, right, which
that's very real, Like we don't see ourselves with a
lot of seats at the table, we don't see ourselves
in a lot of positions of power. We don't see
a lot of us up at the top. And so
you I think digest that as like well, like every
every woman for herself, you know, and and so that
(16:18):
competitive thing and even just like oh my god, and
like parenting circles too, like who's momming the hardest stay
at home moms versus working moms, and like and I
just feel like we're we're put into categories, competitive categories
so much more than men, and and then that that
(16:41):
makes the being a girl's girl thing hard because sometimes
you meet another woman and you're like, what kind of.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
What side of the root?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Which camp do you fall into?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Very like vulnerable to get you like go out on
a limb, because you run the risk of being like burned,
you know. But at the same time, how are you
gonna know if you don't run the risk, right, So,
like you do have to be vulnerable, and you do
have to try, and you do have to kind of
like go it's my not work, but I'm gonna give
(17:16):
it a shot.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
More better, more better.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I feel like I I don't think that I would
say that I'm not a girl's girl, But I don't
know that that's how I would leadingly describe myself. I
think I would say like I'm a supporter of women
and like I love my female friends, and like I
like I want to be the kind of person that
(17:46):
other women can rely on. Yes, but I don't know
that I would be like I'm a girl's girl, Like
I don't know the same. Yeah, probably because it feels
like there's like a I don't know, like a like
a just or something of something on it that I'm
like it's.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Been yeah, it's yeah, yeah, it's been tainted well because
it's like so having a moment now and being talked
about and it's been in in the uh this geist
a lot, and so yeah, like anything trendy, you're just
like am I.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Am I lot? I will say like something that I
do that I and I don't care if people think
it's performing or not. There's a whole like discussion going
on right now about like whether something is performative, and
it's like, well, we are performing all the time. This
is all the life is like a bit of a
like you know, we're all feel strongly about what is
(18:42):
performance and when is it? Not like when are you so?
But when I see like whenever I'm out and I
see like a girl like with her camera set up
and she's like doing a fit check or like another
girl taking photos of somebody else or whatever, I always
am like you look great or like yeah, yeah, Like
I do that a lot because it's as someone who
(19:04):
like is totally embarrassed when I do stuff like that
in public, I always feel it kind of dumb, even
though everybody does it. Everybody does fitchags, everybody does like tiktoks.
Everybody does their little like set this up and like
take this moment of a photo, right, Like everybody does it.
And I've definitely been not maybe not everybody does it,
but I've definitely been outside somewhere and like Brad's taking
(19:28):
my picture or something and someone passes by and like
you can tell they're laughing at you, and it feels shitty.
It just feels shitty.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
So like, yeah, there were like video of it. Was
like a few years ago.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
There was a video of a girl who was like
doing I don't know, she was at an event, she
was at a game, she was somewhere, and she was
like doing videos, uh selfie videos of herself and she
saw in the background that there were two girls like
making fun of her and it was so mean girl,
and then she like feels like so conscious and like
(20:02):
I don't know, I think you feel like she posted
about it fucks and I was like that sucks, man,
Like is it bo Like is it affecting your life?
Like just whatever, mind your business, Like why do we
have to I just like.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
I don't know if it's because I got made in
front of or like left out a lot when I
was a kid, but like I have so many visceral
memories of being like little girl and feeling like I
wanted to be a part of the thing, and like
people were laughing at me for even wanting to be
a part of it, and it just like it's like,
I don't ever I'm gonna cry. I don't ever want
to like make somebody feel like that. So like, why
(20:37):
would you ever actively in a moment? And I've done
it once. I was like mean, like actively mean once
and it was a competition thing because it was the
organ chicks for festival and there was a new girl
that had come in and everyone was like, Oh, she's amazing,
She's amazing. It was like the beginning of the season.
And the guy that I was dating at the time
was like, oh, have you met her yet? I just
(20:59):
met her on the dance or she's like really great.
And I was like, like so mad that he had
met her on the dance word and who was this bitch?
So like when he introduced me, he turned his back
and I literally did the thing that I've seen in
every teen movie, which is like I looked up and
down and then I walked away. And afterwards and like
as I was walking away. I saw her face like crumble,
(21:21):
and I was like, oh my god, I never want
to do that again, and I never want to make
someone feel like that again, like unless I'm being paid
on camera. But I felt like really like I just
don't understand. I don't understand making somebody else I feel
(21:42):
like shit either just like walk away or uh, I
don't know. I just don't understand mining a business. I
just don't understand business. Yeah, mind your business.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I can understand mine in the business.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I can understand being like mad at somebody and like
being in an an altercation to somebody. Yeah, but I
can't understand like I don't know you and I'm gonna
make you feel stupid, Like I don't that I don't.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Yeah, I don't know what I don't. Yeah, I don't like.
There's also like the side of being a girl's girl.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
That is like a little bit like.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
Toxic positivity, where you know where it's like there could
be like a shitty mom at your kid's school that
you can't stand right, and then there could be sentiments
or views from other moms that you're being like anti
woman somehow, and it's like that person just sucks.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I just don't like her. I just like her, I
get along with her, and I don't like how she
I don't like.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
The way she handles, like the way she talks to
me or whatever, like you know, and it's like that
person just sucks regard.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I don't have to whether she's male or female. Don't
have to like everybody, right, Like, you're never gonna actually
like everybody. But there's a difference between like I don't
like everybody, I have like a select group of friends,
and then like I actively being shitty to other women, Yes,
because you're threatened by them in some way, right.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Like women.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
So I guess, like, yeah, what is like I'm trying
to is, how is it.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Being a girl's girl like different from just like being
a good friend. It's it's I think it's more in
like the treat strangers. It's part of its strangers, right, strangers?
Like yeah, like people, how you treat women you don't know?
Speaker 1 (23:20):
You don't know? Yes, how do you treat women that
you don't know and that you haven't assigned a value to?
There's just another human being, right, They're just a human
being that you're coming across, right, Like that is a
good question. I personally I like them. I think like,
if I don't know you and you're like doing something
(23:40):
out in the world, like I'm either gonna not bother
you or I'm gonna be cool to you, probably right,
like unless you're being shitty to me or like a
small animal.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
And if like I'm at a party and let's say
it's like kind of dude heavy, I'm probably instinctually looking
for the women because I'd rather talk to them than
take my chance is with like a guy. You know,
depends on the guy though, But I'm scanning the room.
(24:10):
And if I'm scanning the room, like yeah, I'm maybe
making preconceived you know, maybe the way she's dressed, or
like this girl looks cool, like, but I'm I am like.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
More, here's okay.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
You walk into a party, okay, and there's mostly women there.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Oh yeah, I think you answered the question.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'm immediately I'm nervous. I'm immediately because if it's mostly
intimidated by large groups of women, I'm also like, oh no,
everyone's already friends and they and I don't know anyone
that's my That's where I immediately go, which I like
my childhood traumas like Oh, everyone's already friends and they
don't want anymore friends. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I think my nervousness is like what is the majority
camp that most of these women fall into, Like we're
talking about like are they the competitive like gonna look
me up and down and you know, or are they
gonna be weird? Or is it gonna be like girls
girl vibes or also is it going to be like
(25:19):
two intense girls girl vibes?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Like we don't like that either. No, we don't need
to become best friends.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
And what are you fighting? What are you?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, I'm like, yeah, what do you want?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Like I'm always like, oh, give me your phone number,
and then I see people go like I did that
the other day to a woman I met on a
panel and I was like, Oh, you're so cool, you
live so close to me, give me your phone. Ever
put your phone up on my phone and she was like,
like I could see her wheels turning. I don't know
you don't have any friends.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I don't actually know you. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's
a bold move.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
I'm trying to make more friends, Wilsa. I don't have that.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I get friends.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
I usually start with are you on social and then
I start like it, but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
On social social real Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
You know what, kudos, it's very brave.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Did I ever tell you that one time that I
was an audition and I was like trying to be
friendly to people and there was a girl that was like, oh,
what are you singing? I've told you this story. She
was like, oh what are you singing? And I showed her.
She was like, Oh that's brave. That was like I
think I went home. Oh, I was like devastated. That
is not being a girl's girl. Does not being a
(26:41):
girl's girl? Or like when you see someone's outfit and
you're like, that's a thing that like a woman would say.
Then here's the thing, Like have you ever had someone
say something about your outfit and be like, oh that's cute.
That's really I would never be able to pull that off,
but you're really doing it and I and like it's
kind of like we've talked about this before jellyfishing, Yeah,
just from Bridgie Diary, I think too, where it's like
(27:04):
the rude comment, it's already happened, and think it's just gone,
she's already gone on her way, and like you're like, ah,
it hurts so bad, and it's already done. It's already
already happened, just gone, it's gone. You don't have anything
with your day.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
You didn't get to say a comeback.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
You hate it so much?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I hate it?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh yeah, I don't know, man, Like I think, like
I want this to be a thing. Okay. The guilt
around not clicking with certain women.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Ooh yeah, I think I internalized that, like too much,
you know of just like you feel like a bad person,
you feel like a bad I feel like a bad person.
I feel like sometimes I do ask myself or judge myself.
I think and like, why don't I get along with
(27:58):
more different types of women? Like I feel like there's
just a few categories of women I click with, and
then I feel bad about that? Yeah, am I being judgie?
Like what is that about?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I do find it was harder before I had kids.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Weirdly, like, I think becoming a mom there's something that
I can always find something to talk to you or
connect with you with if you're also a mom, it
is a unifier for sure. As a unifier, I can
have nothing in common with you, but I can talk
for days about whatever you're struggling with your kid or
like what anything that has to do with motherhood. Yeah,
(28:46):
because it's such a universal, connective thing. It's connective experience.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I think like female friendships are very They can be
really intimate in a way that male friendships aren't always
necessarily allowed to be. Yeah, So like culturally and societally
across the board, I think like male friendships are they
are allowed in a certain way to be very surface.
(29:14):
Like Brad has this thing that he does every year
and he goes with his fantasy football team and he
like or fantasy football like league, and they go for
a couple of days and they have like a little
retreat and they like, you know, drink a bunch and
eat a bunch of food and do their fantasy football
shit and like that. But I don't necessarily know that
anyone's having like deep conversations trying heart to heart, And
(29:38):
like That's what I value in my female friendships is
that like I can you know, burst into tears and
no one's gonna judge me, or like I can say
the things that I'm actually pretty afraid to say in
any other environments, you know, like my vulnerabilities, my weakness
is stuff that I'm scared of whatever, and like these
(30:01):
are the women that I can trust and they'll go
like yeah, they'll just sit there and like listen, they're
not gonna like recoil and be like ill, right, right,
And so that closeness is it's not an automatic, it's
earned and like it has to be earned over time, yeah,
(30:21):
and it has to be earned over experiences and so like, yes,
on the surface, I can be friendly and kind to
women and friends that I am around and with, but
that closeness is something that is that is a that's
like a seed growing and it just like doesn't happen
overnight now, it takes time, right, And like this brings
(30:42):
me to Love Island. What a segue, because you know
they're only there for however many days, like it's like
weeks at a time, right, And there they are. They
are shoved into these really weird situations where they're not
seeing anybody else else, they don't have any social there,
just with each other, right, and so they're bonding in
(31:05):
this very strange way. And also this last season of
Love Island, if you haven't watched it, please catch up.
It's on Peacock. They're bonding in this way. That's like
they know when they get out, they're going to be
like super famous, right, Like they know everyone's going to
be like looking at them because the last goal.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Right, right, and they get their little league part of
why they're there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, like and no, you know, like get your bag, Henny,
like get your little like you get all their things
like listen me too, you know. Like, but like what
I thought was interesting, and I think it's like linked here.
It's like is she a girl's girl or just playing one?
On TV? The Great Love Island debate and now this
(31:49):
isn't this isn't time. This is an article, but like
I did read I think it was in People, and
it was like discussing some of the ways that the
women on Love Island behave. And again we're coming back
to this like performative idea, right, So there were multiple
friendships on Love Island that looked really good for the cameras.
And these are people that they're in their twenties, so
(32:11):
they've grown up with social media, they've grown up with
understanding like what reality TV is, they understand how they
look from the outside, right, And so some of their
behavior while projecting girls girl miss friendships that are super
close support at every level all the time. Sometimes it's
(32:32):
like to be a real girls girl, you gotta be like, bro, no,
you can't, you can't act like that, you can't do that,
you shouldn't do that, that's fucked up what you're doing,
or like or saying like, you know, there was that moment.
Did you watch it? You know the answer? Okay, So Shelley,
she was like kind of she was kind of trying
(32:54):
to decide between these two guys, Chris and Ace. Okay,
she ended up with Ace, right, Both of them are
very had some very different types. But she was kind
of like like kind of in the mix with both
of them and hadn't really made a choice, right, and
so then she kind of did choose. She was kind
of kind of leaning more toward Ace and Chris, who
was kind of up for grabs now and like didn't
(33:16):
have a partner. One of Shelley's friends, Hudda, who's very controversial.
Huda was like, well, I'm going to go after Ace, right,
But I guess she didn't. I don't remember exactly, but
I don't think she checked with Shelley first. I don't
think she was like, hey, I'm gonna do this now, right.
I think she just kind of like I think it
kind of organically happened. Okay, that's up for debate, Okay.
(33:39):
But Shelley, even after she had been partnered up with Ace,
was like pissed off at Hoodah because she was like,
this isn't girl's girl behavior. Like and I for me
as a viewer, I was like, what part of it
is in girl's girl behavior? Because this is Love Island.
It's not for an island. Oh yeah right, like you
are from here to like make a man? Yeah, So
(34:01):
what part was it that she didn't check with you first?
Was it that she didn't do it the way you
wanted her.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
To do it?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
And then Huda even apologize afterwards. She was like, I'm sorry.
I think she didn't check with her. She was like,
I'm really sorry, Like I really value our friends. She
was like crying. Whether or not it was real or not,
she was she was crying, okay, and she was like,
I'm really sorry, Like I really value our friendship. I
don't know what I did wrong. I like I messed up.
I fucked up. And Shelley was like not having it. Oh,
(34:30):
and it very much felt like so what are you
mad about?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
What are you mad about?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Like? What do you want her to do? What do
you want her to do?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
You want her to do that she didn't?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And also like are you mad because like that guy
isn't pining over you even though you moved on with
somebody else, right, I don't know the answer, Like, I
don't know the answer.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Just get DIBs on whoever you're like almost with.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Is that that is that brings you back to like
the nineties, two thousands, things of like where the movies were,
Like girl code is like you never date somebody's ex boyfriend.
It's like, well, what if you fall in love with
their ex boyfriend? Like wait you do? Then?
Speaker 3 (35:03):
Yea?
Speaker 1 (35:04):
What if a lot of time has passed? What? What?
What is the girl code? I don't know what the
girl code is. I'm pretty sure the girl code.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Is is not going back, not doing it without, don't
go behind people's backs, don't go behind people's backs. Like yeah,
if you truly value the friendship over the guy, you're
like running it by the friend. Yeah, I mean I
would if I was trying to get with some of
my friend's ex.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I probably it's you know, very.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Like is that it, I mean. And then the other
other part of that is like, you know, no one
is perfect. Because when a Hooda was dating this other guy, Jeremiah,
they were dating, they were like a couple together, and
they had this very not appropriate for television, Okay, they
had this very sexy thing like where they all like
(35:56):
got it was very snm and everybody like it's too
long to explain, Melissa, But there was bombshells that came in. Oh,
and one of the bombshells was like, all about this
Jeremiah guy that Huda was dating. And Huda was so
hateful to this girl, like from the get just like
hateful to her, Like she was like, I don't like
(36:16):
her vibe, I don't like how she's playing this. I
don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her.
And it's like, well, you don't like that she is
beautiful and that she might be someone that your guy
is interested in, and like, I understand that feeling, but
I also like, you can't act a fool, right, right,
But then again, these girls were like twenty, so yeah, a.
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Lot of it is like age guess and check definitely
the worst experience.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, and how you be. I mean, I acted a
dumb ass fool that day at that party when I
was mean to that woman. You know, like that's not
something I would ever do again, but my experience, I
kind of had to do it once.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Yeah, I definitely was an asshole to other women in
like college and early twenties and yeah, but yeah, you
have to, unfortunately have those moments sometimes be like, oh
that doesn't feel I.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Don't I don't want to be that. I don't like myself.
I don't like that. I don't like that I tried
that on and I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I don't like that persona. I don't think that's me.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yeah, more better, more better, I think.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
You know, it's how do we be uh, how do
we be more better at being a girl's girl?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Like in general, like out in the world, Like is it?
I mean I would say like lead with kindness. Yeah,
like that's so cliche, but it really is like lead
with kindness, you know, like when you experience someone like,
to me, this is being girls girls. The The other
(37:48):
day at the airport, I saw this young mom. She
was young, like real cute, her little baby was super cute,
and her stroller were but her baby was flipping out,
like flipping out. The little girl was like screaming at
the top of the homs, right, And so the mom
stops to do something. She's like kind of struggling with
all the bags and stuff, and I like walk over
(38:09):
and I'm like hi to the baby, you know, like
playing with the baby a little bit, not getting too close,
just a little distraction, you know, so the mom can
kind of like do what she needs to do. And
it's like, I don't know what the story is. I
don't know who you are. I don't know your politics,
I don't know any of that. What I see is
a woman who needs a little bit of help and
I'm gonna help you, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Or like if I see two girls outside of a
happened in New York. These two girls were outside of
a coffee shop taking a ton of pictures, like taking
up the whole sidewalk. Am I gonna be like eugh no, yeah,
because like do do you babe? Like I can walk
in the street for a second. It's not gonna hurt me.
Like I'm fine, Like get your pictures, get your you know,
(38:50):
get your little moment like that. I think leading with
Kindness in general as a human being is good, but
like particularly toward women who are, like, as you said,
facing a wall of bullshit at any given moment.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
Yeah, it's like having a little extra empathy, a little
extra kindness, a little extra whatever that you can give
that day. It's it's a woman because when.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
People are shit, yeah, because like we get it the worst,
you know, So like even when people are kind of shitty,
it's like, Okay, okay, she's having a bad day. I
need to get an argument with you unless you gonna
pick a fight with me, and then yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's kind of it. Right. Like also that thing that
(39:36):
therapists say all the time, which is like, hurt people,
hurt people. But it's like, if you're being shit to
me in public and I don't know you, that's got
everything to do with you.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
And nothing nothing to do with me. Yeah that's the thing.
Oh wait I wanted to do. Oh yes.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
In the nerd time, there was the four zodiacs that
are the biggest girls.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Girl are you ready?
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I'm ready? It is Aries. I'm an Aries rising are you?
Speaker 4 (40:11):
Aries are incredibly loyal when it comes to their friendships,
but they don't like to sugarcoat or play games either.
That that's what makes aries a perfect girl's girl. They
aren't afraid to share the hard truths. When they tell
you something you might not want to hear, they can
still do it in a loving way.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
I hope, I think so.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Trying to think of you ever told me something I
didn't want to hear? Gemini?
Speaker 4 (40:37):
I do not agree with that. Isn't Gemini that the
twins one?
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, No, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I feel like I've known a Commni gets a bad
rap for being two faced, and I don't think that's
what it is. I think Gemini is of two minds,
like they can see both sides of things, you know,
I don't know. I've known some bad Geminis.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I've been friends with some Geminis that h did feel
two face?
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Oh that's brutal.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
It's easy to get along with a Gemini because they
make friends everywhere they go. They enjoy, okay, they enjoy
being around other people, and they celebrate and support all
their close friends, do they.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
But especially the women in their lives. Plus, Gemini's curiosity
means they'll be your biggest cheerleader.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Geminis, why don't you write in specifically to Melissa and
tell her about how you're a good friend.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Yeah, great, I will. I can't wait to hear it. Okay,
virgo virgo.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
My mom's a virgo?
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Oh really? Because my mom a girl and my mom
is kind of a girl's girl. My mom's a girl's
girl about it.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
But I feel like virgos are also.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
That's just your mom, I mean, like that's your relationship
with your mom coming out.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
Virgos are sure to be a great resource when you're
having a hard time. Problem solving makes virgos feel more productive.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
You know what, I think my rising or my moon,
my moon is in virgo.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Okay. Virgos are also really interested in self growth. Oh
are they?
Speaker 3 (42:12):
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Virgos are stubble. We'll say you're not having a girl's
girl about this girl. Virgos, I know are very stubborn.
So helping you helps them learn more about themselves. In turn,
girls girls have a deep appreciation for their relationships with
other women because there's so much you can learn from
being around them. Hmm. Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
The last one is Capricorn.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
What is Capricorn? Capricorn is like end of December beginning.
Let's see what they can say. Let's fucking see what
they fucking say.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Ready.
Speaker 4 (42:48):
Capricorns are known for their strong work ethic, Yes, but
they're also extremely intentional with their friendships. Yeah, she is
this Earth's sign. Is emotionally dependable and oh no, not
the big laugh, not the big laugh. Emotionally dependable and
(43:10):
very loyal.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
But they still expect you to value their friendship as
much as they do.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Interesting. That feels a little tip for Tepe.
Speaker 4 (43:19):
Capricorns will do anything they can to help their friends succeed,
and they won't let jealousy get in the way of
celebrating women's wins.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Yeah. I think that's pretty true about my mom, because.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
They don't really care about being the center of attention.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
That's not true, that's not true at all. But she
does celebrate other people's wins. She's always really excited.
Speaker 4 (43:41):
Yeah, she I feel that was energy Like the first
few times I met her, Like she was just like,
she's always so excited.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
There was another life on the show and like, yeah, yeah,
very proud. A Capricorn friend will help you achieve your goals,
ensure you on while you do it. That's the definition
of a girl's girl.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
More better that is I like that as a place
to sort of wrap up, And that is my takeaway,
is that I want to be a girls girl in
as much as that, like, I want to support and
help other people women feel good in the world. Yeah, right,
(44:24):
like in general, Like and we're talking about like general
girls girl right, Like if that's how we describe ourselves, right, Like,
if I'm in a bathroom and I think you're off,
it's cute. I'm gonna tell you if you need help
with like something, I'm going to try to help you.
If you are like just out in the world living
your life, I'm not gonna shot on you. You know,
there's no reason to.
Speaker 4 (44:45):
Yeah, yeah, that might take away just like being a
general cheerleader for women. Yeah, and like I said before,
I think holding a little more empathy, a little bit
more grace, a little bit more kindness.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah, I'm like holding yourself also accountable when you feel
yourself like like that. It's like, where is that base?
Is that based in my mm hmm competitiveness? Is that
based in the Yes? Those are good questions.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Do I not like this woman because of the things
I've been programmed to kind of not like about women?
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Or is this like genuinely just like a shitty person.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, like asking yourself that question as opposed to just
doing the default.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Of like, oh you know, like I like that. Yeah,
those good.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Do you feel more better?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
I do feel more better better.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
I mean I'm not as like averse to the phrase.
I think I was a little like I was like
scared to take on this. I do want to do gurly.
Let's do gurly. Oh my god. Oh okay, we'll see
you next time, see you next week. Bye.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
More.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
You have something you'd like to be more better at
that you want us to talk about in a future episode.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's
my Kunpua podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Beatriz, and
Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid and
Sophie Spencer Zebos.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself Melissa Fumero, along
with Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Klem at WV Sound and
ISIS Madrid.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by
Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and
Hello Boy. Our cover art is by Vincent Remy's and
photography by David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows. See you next week, Suckers, Bye Hoo,
(47:01):
Pokitomas mahor
Did I ever tell you that one time that I
was an audition and I was like trying to be
friendly to people and there was a girl that was like, oh,
what are you singing? I've told you the story. She
was like, oh what are you singing? And I showed
her and she was like, oh that's brave. That was
like I think I went home something. I was like devastated.
That is not being a girl's girl.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Does not being a girl's girl?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
More Better, More and more, A little bit more better.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
More, Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop
pretending to have it all together.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
And embrace the journey of becoming a little more better every.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Day, or at least trying to. That's definitie the interest.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
That's a little of a girl. Here we are in person.
If you are listening to this on iHeart or wherever
else you find your podcasts. You can also find us
on YouTube. We're here in person. You can check out
our outfits and what my hair might be doing well.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Today or not has doing today. It's mad that I
tried to straight. We're great, We're doing great. We're doing great.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
We're doing great. What have you done lately? That's a
little more better. Deep in hell, Deep in hell.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I feel like I've said this so many times on
the pod.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
I am back in the workout routine, back on the wagon.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Okay, as they say.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
That mean for you, For me, that means like more
structured eating food choices, not just like all day every day,
just like this is, you know, a little bit of
meal planning, just intentional choices, and then working out while
(01:56):
taking advantage of the fact that I'm not on set
right now. And this is a very privileged thing to say,
but working out five days a week amazing.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Trying to maybe go for like three weeks of seven
days a week.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Girl, three weeks of seven days a week, that's not
good for your body.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
But not like not les not like an hour long workout,
like a like like a recovery workout. Yeah, like a
recovery workout, or like one day is a yoga or
like a stretch or like just like a physical movement
for twenty thirty minutes. I fell off the consistency.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
For a few weeks, and now I'm back.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
The consistencies everything with workouts, it really is. I mean,
you don't want to be doing the same thing all
the time, but it really is.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
But when you like don't move sometimes just for like
a week, and then you start again.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
You're like, I mean it's like three days, Like if
I don't do something, I get. I mean it's also
because it releases endorphins and stuff. Yeah, like I get
Hella depressed, like Hella depressed. And then I'm like, why
do I want to just stay in my bed all
the time. Oh, it's because I haven't moved my body
in like three days. Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh well that's great.
Yeah that's wonderful. What about you? What have you done later?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
It's better?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Let me see. I have since trying to spend some
you know, extended quality time with my child and not
judging myself about sometimes that's TV.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah, I love watching stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
We watched Hercules, and then we watched the Lego Disney Princess.
Yes there's two of them now. I highly enjoyed all three.
I mean, I love Hercules. I think it's fantastic, bless Mass.
I love it, love it, love I love it. But yeah,
I've been spending time with her and not judging myself
(03:34):
for the like the way the way then spending time.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah, time is time, man.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
It just be like that. It just be like that.
Sometimes you gotta just watch TV. My therapist gave me
the A okay on that one. Listen.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
Some of the best conversations I've had with my kids
have been off of watching something.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah that's real, you know it's.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Really It sparks a conversation, or it's like or it
gives you the opportunity to be like, wow, what did
you think when the character made that choice?
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Or or what do you think is going to happen?
Thinking is the end of the story. The other day,
I was reading her Cinderella and After the Ball, like
she never she's not seen the movie or anything, And
I was reading her out of a book that we have,
and oh, is it one of those cute little books
with the little the Golden Book? No, okay, it was
(04:18):
a book that I stole from set sorry that was
like a vintage collection of Disney stories And I was like,
is this and they were like, I don't know. We
just bought it for a start dressing. And I was like, oh,
I don't you hear that. I actually never stolen from
stut before. But I was like, this book is from
like nineteen sixty, so I had to take it home.
I wish I had stolen so much more from the
Brooklyn nine nine set. I didn't take anything. People always
(04:41):
ask me like, what'd you steal, and I'm like, I
don't steal, so like, I didn't take anything.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I wasn't raised to be a thief, so I didn't
take anything.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
But anyway, that this book that I stole, Yeah, But
I was reading it to her and we got to
the park where you know, Cinderella leaves the ball and
she has the one glass slipper and like the coach
turns back into pumpkin or whatever, and it was at
the end of a page and I was like, I
stopped reading. I was like, do you think that's the end?
And she was like no, like devastated that, like possibly
(05:11):
this would be the end. And I was like, sometimes
that is the end of the story, Like you get
that one night. It's very special.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
And then I was like, this is a lesson for later. Yeah,
You're like, we're right now, you know what I mean?
And keep it moving more better. So this week we're
talking about being it's controversial, it's a hot it's a
(05:39):
hot topic. Being a girl's girl, Being a girl's girl.
I'm kind of stressed about this topic. Actually, I think
I am too.
Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yeah, when I first read the outline in our email
that our brilliant producer is just gives us that I'm
giving a side I do off camera, I read it
as for some reason like like being a girl, like
girly girl, being a girly girl, and I was like, yeah,
not being like.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
And me being like, oh no, that's so funny. And
then I read the outline. I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
No no utter failure at this. It's gonna be fine.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
But it is, it's it's it's uh, it's tricky.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I'm gonna read the definition of what we have down here. Obviously,
this is like a in flux right, actively supporting and
uplifting other women, rejecting negative societal stereotypes, the foster competition,
and fostering authentic female community rather than seeing other women
as threats. Now on the page, it sounds per utopian,
(06:51):
hundred percent fantastic. We all want to be that girl.
Sounds great. I'm that girl. Yes, I want other women
to do this all the time. Yes, what the reality
is that A this is very difficult to do at
all times. One hundred percent of the time. Yeah, and
b not everybody has this active definition of it. It's
(07:13):
not like we all are carrying around this definition or memorized. Right. So,
like some people's idea of what it is to be
a girl's girl is different than others, and so we're
gonna kind of get into that too. This idea has
always been around. It's like the sort of like girl's
girl of it has been popularized through like TikTok and
(07:33):
Instagram and stuff. Yeah, it's having a moment, right, Yeah,
but it used to be called like girl code, yeah
or uh not rose before hose. But the other one
not that behave that. Actually I can't remember what the
female one is. It's like something kind of rude. It's
(07:55):
like bitches before not.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
What is it?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Oh no, I remember, I want to be like cunts before.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Like ovaries before ovaries before brovaries.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
That is very gendered but hilarious. I mean on the surface, obviously,
this is a great idea, right, Like it would be
wonderful to walk down the street and have anyone that
is a woman like and like, let's be real, Like
this is gonna get tricky because we're going to get
into language that's like girls, women fems Like who is
(08:35):
who gets to say what? But like, for purposes of
this conversation, like let's just say like girls and fems, right,
people that are like I'm a girl, right, you're in
You're in this club, but some girls are whack as fuck.
Like the reality is that not all human beings are great.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
Right that there's yes, like I yeah, like I know
I want to be that woman that supports and uplifts
and defends and.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Is like yeah, women power.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Then also you trash and I don't. Yeah, I don't
want to have your back, like I definitely don't have mine, Like.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
If you don't have mine, like or if you like
are So let's let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Get into it.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Think of like what does a girl's girl mean to you?
Like what does that for you? To define that in
your brain? Like what is that for you?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, I think you're like Stephanie Bee literally like I do.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Like I think our dynamic is very that.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
I think it's you know, like, yeah, I think we're
a good example of a girl's girl dynamic because we're
in the same industry, like we it doesn't happen that often,
but occasionally we're competing for the same roles like um,
because people are dumb dumb, yeah, so different, like if
(09:59):
you want both of us, like you're trying, you don't know, yeah, kind.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Of the broadest just like I don't know, like yeah,
the Walls.
Speaker 4 (10:11):
Says, but we're we were like cheerleaders for each other.
I genuinely get psyched when you're doing something cool or
I see you doing something cool or and you know,
I I mean, god, that time we were in Disneyland
and your voice was ringing. I'm getting chills now, get
ringing out over the fireworks show, like and I fucking
(10:33):
cried like a baby, you know, because I'm so proud
of you, and I'm proud of everything you've done. And
I think when you when you love someone, but especially
when it's a woman, and you know that there's things
are just like a little harder and there's different obstacles,
and like maybe some of your male colleagues in the
same industry like it, just so the winds just feel bigger,
(10:53):
you know, and you want to celebrate them and just
and it's also to me, being a girl's girl is
very much that what's that saying, like like be the
kind of woman that fixes another woman's crown without it
without pointing it out, like it's that thing too, of
helping and supporting without it feeling like like virtue signaling
(11:19):
or performative or you know, to prove anything. It's like
genuinely be that person that's gonna like do it without
do it without making a big deal out of it.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
You know, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
That's what I I kind of try to strive for. Yeah, yeah,
I think I'm with you.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
I'm with you in that, Like I want, you know,
in an ideal world, all of the interactions that I
would have with women would be friendly, kind, generous, graceful,
you know, like meaning like allowing grace for the other
person's like whatever's going on with them. Yeah, as opposed
(11:59):
to like full of judgment or something. Yeah, I I
really like what you said about like things are tougher. Yeah,
for women, it'd be like that, just like that. But
we do live in a patriarchy.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
Everything is just like a little Sometimes it's way harder,
and then sometimes it's just little ways.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, thing little things or big things. But either way
it's like, well, who's going to have each other's backs then? Right,
And like so it's disappointing sometimes when it feels like
some women align themselves with like the strength that is
(12:43):
in power just to be safe, you know, it feels
like really like yeah, guys, like if we all banded together,
like if we were all on the same sort of side,
if we were all like helping each other, then it
would be like less like O don't no competitive sometimes
(13:04):
or and like the the competition thing is like it's
not just related to work, right, Like sometimes it's related
to love interests. Sometimes it's related to how we look,
how we function in society, our abilities as wives, mothers, friends,
(13:25):
working people, like our earning power, our it like it
sucks because we're in like this, we're in this like
ring where sometimes it feels like we're in a ring
where they've like thrown us all in there and are
like all right, climb out and you get a prize.
And like instead of us being like, oh shit, let's
(13:47):
do like a human chain kind of thing and like
pull each other up like as we go, it feels
very like, well, who can I fucking murder from it?
And then like I'll just pile up all the dead
bodies like this it feels good. I can't feel very
much like that, and so like it can be really
difficult because like I, of course want to be I
(14:08):
want to believe that every woman that I meet, every
friend that I meet, is a girl's girl. But the
reality that I've actually lived is that sometimes I get
fucked over because I'm like, I'm I give you the
benefit of the doubt all the time, and like you know,
my legs get chopped out from underneath me. So like
that is a tricky thing, Like it's not just about it.
(14:33):
I wish it was just about like I want to
support all other women, but like it can I think,
like the value system is like differs between people, and.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
I think about this, Yes it does make sense, But
I think about this a lot about the origin of
that kind of because I feel like when we were teenagers,
or when I was a teenager, it was like do
you know what I'm saying, Like it was the height
that like late nineties to early two thousands, even like twenties,
early twenty tens, that culture of like women pitted against women,
(15:07):
the you know, there were constantly, like you know, the
Paris Hilton days of like and who's beefing with who?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
And who's in a.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Scandal, and and I feel like I grew up around
and I remember in high school being like.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Where are the feminists?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Like where where have they gone?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Where are they?
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Yeah, you know, I don't see any anywhere. And I
feel like so much of that time period.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Because it felt like it was a whole decade of
it where it was permeated the pop culture so deeply
it like rewired some women, do you know what I mean?
I think it rewired me for a moment, and I
had to like deprogram myself. But that competitiveness, that like
(15:55):
there's only room for a few of us, right, which
that's very real, Like we don't see ourselves with a
lot of seats at the table, we don't see ourselves
in a lot of positions of power. We don't see
a lot of us up at the top. And so
you I think digest that as like well, like every
every woman for herself, you know, and and so that
(16:18):
competitive thing and even just like oh my god, and
like parenting circles too, like who's momming the hardest stay
at home moms versus working moms, and like and I
just feel like we're we're put into categories, competitive categories
so much more than men, and and then that that
(16:41):
makes the being a girl's girl thing hard because sometimes
you meet another woman and you're like, what kind of.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
What side of the root?
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Which camp do you fall into?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Very like vulnerable to get you like go out on
a limb, because you run the risk of being like burned,
you know. But at the same time, how are you
gonna know if you don't run the risk, right, So,
like you do have to be vulnerable, and you do
have to try, and you do have to kind of
like go it's my not work, but I'm gonna give
(17:16):
it a shot.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
More better, more better.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
I feel like I I don't think that I would
say that I'm not a girl's girl, But I don't
know that that's how I would leadingly describe myself. I
think I would say like I'm a supporter of women
and like I love my female friends, and like I
like I want to be the kind of person that
(17:46):
other women can rely on. Yes, but I don't know
that I would be like I'm a girl's girl, Like
I don't know the same. Yeah, probably because it feels
like there's like a I don't know, like a like
a just or something of something on it that I'm
like it's.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Been yeah, it's yeah, yeah, it's been tainted well because
it's like so having a moment now and being talked
about and it's been in in the uh this geist
a lot, and so yeah, like anything trendy, you're just
like am I.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Am I lot? I will say like something that I
do that I and I don't care if people think
it's performing or not. There's a whole like discussion going
on right now about like whether something is performative, and
it's like, well, we are performing all the time. This
is all the life is like a bit of a
like you know, we're all feel strongly about what is
(18:42):
performance and when is it? Not like when are you so?
But when I see like whenever I'm out and I
see like a girl like with her camera set up
and she's like doing a fit check or like another
girl taking photos of somebody else or whatever, I always
am like you look great or like yeah, yeah, Like
I do that a lot because it's as someone who
(19:04):
like is totally embarrassed when I do stuff like that
in public, I always feel it kind of dumb, even
though everybody does it. Everybody does fitchags, everybody does like tiktoks.
Everybody does their little like set this up and like
take this moment of a photo, right, Like everybody does it.
And I've definitely been not maybe not everybody does it,
but I've definitely been outside somewhere and like Brad's taking
(19:28):
my picture or something and someone passes by and like
you can tell they're laughing at you, and it feels shitty.
It just feels shitty.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
So like, yeah, there were like video of it. Was
like a few years ago.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
There was a video of a girl who was like
doing I don't know, she was at an event, she
was at a game, she was somewhere, and she was
like doing videos, uh selfie videos of herself and she
saw in the background that there were two girls like
making fun of her and it was so mean girl,
and then she like feels like so conscious and like
(20:02):
I don't know, I think you feel like she posted
about it fucks and I was like that sucks, man,
Like is it bo Like is it affecting your life?
Like just whatever, mind your business, Like why do we
have to I just like.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
I don't know if it's because I got made in
front of or like left out a lot when I
was a kid, but like I have so many visceral
memories of being like little girl and feeling like I
wanted to be a part of the thing, and like
people were laughing at me for even wanting to be
a part of it, and it just like it's like,
I don't ever I'm gonna cry. I don't ever want
to like make somebody feel like that. So like, why
(20:37):
would you ever actively in a moment? And I've done
it once. I was like mean, like actively mean once
and it was a competition thing because it was the
organ chicks for festival and there was a new girl
that had come in and everyone was like, Oh, she's amazing,
She's amazing. It was like the beginning of the season.
And the guy that I was dating at the time
was like, oh, have you met her yet? I just
(20:59):
met her on the dance or she's like really great.
And I was like, like so mad that he had
met her on the dance word and who was this bitch?
So like when he introduced me, he turned his back
and I literally did the thing that I've seen in
every teen movie, which is like I looked up and
down and then I walked away. And afterwards and like
as I was walking away. I saw her face like crumble,
(21:21):
and I was like, oh my god, I never want
to do that again, and I never want to make
someone feel like that again, like unless I'm being paid
on camera. But I felt like really like I just
don't understand. I don't understand making somebody else I feel
(21:42):
like shit either just like walk away or uh, I
don't know. I just don't understand mining a business. I
just don't understand business. Yeah, mind your business.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
I can understand mine in the business.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
I can understand being like mad at somebody and like
being in an an altercation to somebody. Yeah, but I
can't understand like I don't know you and I'm gonna
make you feel stupid, Like I don't that I don't.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Yeah, I don't know what I don't. Yeah, I don't like.
There's also like the side of being a girl's girl.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
That is like a little bit like.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
Toxic positivity, where you know where it's like there could
be like a shitty mom at your kid's school that
you can't stand right, and then there could be sentiments
or views from other moms that you're being like anti
woman somehow, and it's like that person just sucks.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I just don't like her. I just like her, I
get along with her, and I don't like how she
I don't like.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
The way she handles, like the way she talks to
me or whatever, like you know, and it's like that
person just sucks regard.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
I don't have to whether she's male or female. Don't
have to like everybody, right, Like, you're never gonna actually
like everybody. But there's a difference between like I don't
like everybody, I have like a select group of friends,
and then like I actively being shitty to other women, Yes,
because you're threatened by them in some way, right.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Like women.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
So I guess, like, yeah, what is like I'm trying
to is, how is it.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Being a girl's girl like different from just like being
a good friend. It's it's I think it's more in
like the treat strangers. It's part of its strangers, right, strangers?
Like yeah, like people, how you treat women you don't know?
Speaker 1 (23:20):
You don't know? Yes, how do you treat women that
you don't know and that you haven't assigned a value to?
There's just another human being, right, They're just a human
being that you're coming across, right, Like that is a
good question. I personally I like them. I think like,
if I don't know you and you're like doing something
(23:40):
out in the world, like I'm either gonna not bother
you or I'm gonna be cool to you, probably right,
like unless you're being shitty to me or like a
small animal.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
And if like I'm at a party and let's say
it's like kind of dude heavy, I'm probably instinctually looking
for the women because I'd rather talk to them than
take my chance is with like a guy. You know,
depends on the guy though, But I'm scanning the room.
(24:10):
And if I'm scanning the room, like yeah, I'm maybe
making preconceived you know, maybe the way she's dressed, or
like this girl looks cool, like, but I'm I am like.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
More, here's okay.
Speaker 4 (24:26):
You walk into a party, okay, and there's mostly women there.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Oh yeah, I think you answered the question.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'm immediately I'm nervous. I'm immediately because if it's mostly
intimidated by large groups of women, I'm also like, oh no,
everyone's already friends and they and I don't know anyone
that's my That's where I immediately go, which I like
my childhood traumas like Oh, everyone's already friends and they
don't want anymore friends. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I think my nervousness is like what is the majority
camp that most of these women fall into, Like we're
talking about like are they the competitive like gonna look
me up and down and you know, or are they
gonna be weird? Or is it gonna be like girls
girl vibes or also is it going to be like
(25:19):
two intense girls girl vibes?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Like we don't like that either. No, we don't need
to become best friends.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
And what are you fighting? What are you?
Speaker 3 (25:30):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, I'm like, yeah, what do you want?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Like I'm always like, oh, give me your phone number,
and then I see people go like I did that
the other day to a woman I met on a
panel and I was like, Oh, you're so cool, you
live so close to me, give me your phone. Ever
put your phone up on my phone and she was like,
like I could see her wheels turning. I don't know
you don't have any friends.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
I don't actually know you. Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's
a bold move.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
I'm trying to make more friends, Wilsa. I don't have that.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I get friends.
Speaker 4 (26:05):
I usually start with are you on social and then
I start like it, but I'm not.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
On social social real Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
You know what, kudos, it's very brave.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Did I ever tell you that one time that I
was an audition and I was like trying to be
friendly to people and there was a girl that was like, oh,
what are you singing? I've told you this story. She
was like, oh what are you singing? And I showed her.
She was like, Oh that's brave. That was like I
think I went home. Oh, I was like devastated. That
is not being a girl's girl. Does not being a
(26:41):
girl's girl? Or like when you see someone's outfit and
you're like, that's a thing that like a woman would say.
Then here's the thing, Like have you ever had someone
say something about your outfit and be like, oh that's cute.
That's really I would never be able to pull that off,
but you're really doing it and I and like it's
kind of like we've talked about this before jellyfishing, Yeah,
just from Bridgie Diary, I think too, where it's like
(27:04):
the rude comment, it's already happened, and think it's just gone,
she's already gone on her way, and like you're like, ah,
it hurts so bad, and it's already done. It's already
already happened, just gone, it's gone. You don't have anything
with your day.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
You didn't get to say a comeback.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
You hate it so much?
Speaker 2 (27:25):
I hate it?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh yeah, I don't know, man, Like I think, like
I want this to be a thing. Okay. The guilt
around not clicking with certain women.
Speaker 4 (27:37):
Ooh yeah, I think I internalized that, like too much,
you know of just like you feel like a bad person,
you feel like a bad I feel like a bad person.
I feel like sometimes I do ask myself or judge myself.
I think and like, why don't I get along with
(27:58):
more different types of women? Like I feel like there's
just a few categories of women I click with, and
then I feel bad about that? Yeah, am I being judgie?
Like what is that about?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I do find it was harder before I had kids.
Speaker 4 (28:23):
Weirdly, like, I think becoming a mom there's something that
I can always find something to talk to you or
connect with you with if you're also a mom, it
is a unifier for sure. As a unifier, I can
have nothing in common with you, but I can talk
for days about whatever you're struggling with your kid or
like what anything that has to do with motherhood. Yeah,
(28:46):
because it's such a universal, connective thing. It's connective experience.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I think like female friendships are very They can be
really intimate in a way that male friendships aren't always
necessarily allowed to be. Yeah, So like culturally and societally
across the board, I think like male friendships are they
are allowed in a certain way to be very surface.
(29:14):
Like Brad has this thing that he does every year
and he goes with his fantasy football team and he
like or fantasy football like league, and they go for
a couple of days and they have like a little
retreat and they like, you know, drink a bunch and
eat a bunch of food and do their fantasy football
shit and like that. But I don't necessarily know that
anyone's having like deep conversations trying heart to heart, And
(29:38):
like That's what I value in my female friendships is
that like I can you know, burst into tears and
no one's gonna judge me, or like I can say
the things that I'm actually pretty afraid to say in
any other environments, you know, like my vulnerabilities, my weakness
is stuff that I'm scared of whatever, and like these
(30:01):
are the women that I can trust and they'll go
like yeah, they'll just sit there and like listen, they're
not gonna like recoil and be like ill, right, right,
And so that closeness is it's not an automatic, it's
earned and like it has to be earned over time, yeah,
(30:21):
and it has to be earned over experiences and so like, yes,
on the surface, I can be friendly and kind to
women and friends that I am around and with, but
that closeness is something that is that is a that's
like a seed growing and it just like doesn't happen
overnight now, it takes time, right, And like this brings
(30:42):
me to Love Island. What a segue, because you know
they're only there for however many days, like it's like
weeks at a time, right, And there they are. They
are shoved into these really weird situations where they're not
seeing anybody else else, they don't have any social there,
just with each other, right, and so they're bonding in
(31:05):
this very strange way. And also this last season of
Love Island, if you haven't watched it, please catch up.
It's on Peacock. They're bonding in this way. That's like
they know when they get out, they're going to be
like super famous, right, Like they know everyone's going to
be like looking at them because the last goal.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Right, right, and they get their little league part of
why they're there.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, like and no, you know, like get your bag, Henny,
like get your little like you get all their things
like listen me too, you know. Like, but like what
I thought was interesting, and I think it's like linked here.
It's like is she a girl's girl or just playing one?
On TV? The Great Love Island debate and now this
(31:49):
isn't this isn't time. This is an article, but like
I did read I think it was in People, and
it was like discussing some of the ways that the
women on Love Island behave. And again we're coming back
to this like performative idea, right, So there were multiple
friendships on Love Island that looked really good for the cameras.
And these are people that they're in their twenties, so
(32:11):
they've grown up with social media, they've grown up with
understanding like what reality TV is, they understand how they
look from the outside, right, And so some of their
behavior while projecting girls girl miss friendships that are super
close support at every level all the time. Sometimes it's
(32:32):
like to be a real girls girl, you gotta be like, bro, no,
you can't, you can't act like that, you can't do that,
you shouldn't do that, that's fucked up what you're doing,
or like or saying like, you know, there was that moment.
Did you watch it? You know the answer? Okay, So Shelley,
she was like kind of she was kind of trying
(32:54):
to decide between these two guys, Chris and Ace. Okay,
she ended up with Ace, right, Both of them are
very had some very different types. But she was kind
of like like kind of in the mix with both
of them and hadn't really made a choice, right, and
so then she kind of did choose. She was kind
of kind of leaning more toward Ace and Chris, who
was kind of up for grabs now and like didn't
(33:16):
have a partner. One of Shelley's friends, Hudda, who's very controversial.
Huda was like, well, I'm going to go after Ace, right,
But I guess she didn't. I don't remember exactly, but
I don't think she checked with Shelley first. I don't
think she was like, hey, I'm gonna do this now, right.
I think she just kind of like I think it
kind of organically happened. Okay, that's up for debate, Okay.
(33:39):
But Shelley, even after she had been partnered up with Ace,
was like pissed off at Hoodah because she was like,
this isn't girl's girl behavior. Like and I for me
as a viewer, I was like, what part of it
is in girl's girl behavior? Because this is Love Island.
It's not for an island. Oh yeah right, like you
are from here to like make a man? Yeah, So
(34:01):
what part was it that she didn't check with you first?
Was it that she didn't do it the way you
wanted her.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
To do it?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
And then Huda even apologize afterwards. She was like, I'm sorry.
I think she didn't check with her. She was like,
I'm really sorry, Like I really value our friends. She
was like crying. Whether or not it was real or not,
she was she was crying, okay, and she was like,
I'm really sorry, Like I really value our friendship. I
don't know what I did wrong. I like I messed up.
I fucked up. And Shelley was like not having it. Oh,
(34:30):
and it very much felt like so what are you
mad about?
Speaker 2 (34:34):
What are you mad about?
Speaker 1 (34:35):
Like? What do you want her to do? What do
you want her to do?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
You want her to do that she didn't?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
And also like are you mad because like that guy
isn't pining over you even though you moved on with
somebody else, right, I don't know the answer, Like, I
don't know the answer.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Just get DIBs on whoever you're like almost with.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Is that that is that brings you back to like
the nineties, two thousands, things of like where the movies were,
Like girl code is like you never date somebody's ex boyfriend.
It's like, well, what if you fall in love with
their ex boyfriend? Like wait you do? Then?
Speaker 3 (35:03):
Yea?
Speaker 1 (35:04):
What if a lot of time has passed? What? What?
What is the girl code? I don't know what the
girl code is. I'm pretty sure the girl code.
Speaker 4 (35:11):
Is is not going back, not doing it without, don't
go behind people's backs, don't go behind people's backs. Like yeah,
if you truly value the friendship over the guy, you're
like running it by the friend. Yeah, I mean I
would if I was trying to get with some of
my friend's ex.
Speaker 1 (35:30):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
I probably it's you know, very.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Like is that it, I mean. And then the other
other part of that is like, you know, no one
is perfect. Because when a Hooda was dating this other guy, Jeremiah,
they were dating, they were like a couple together, and
they had this very not appropriate for television, Okay, they
had this very sexy thing like where they all like
(35:56):
got it was very snm and everybody like it's too
long to explain, Melissa, But there was bombshells that came in. Oh,
and one of the bombshells was like, all about this
Jeremiah guy that Huda was dating. And Huda was so
hateful to this girl, like from the get just like
hateful to her, Like she was like, I don't like
(36:16):
her vibe, I don't like how she's playing this. I
don't like her. I don't like her. I don't like her.
And it's like, well, you don't like that she is
beautiful and that she might be someone that your guy
is interested in, and like, I understand that feeling, but
I also like, you can't act a fool, right, right,
But then again, these girls were like twenty, so yeah, a.
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Lot of it is like age guess and check definitely
the worst experience.
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah, and how you be. I mean, I acted a
dumb ass fool that day at that party when I
was mean to that woman. You know, like that's not
something I would ever do again, but my experience, I
kind of had to do it once.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Yeah, I definitely was an asshole to other women in
like college and early twenties and yeah, but yeah, you
have to, unfortunately have those moments sometimes be like, oh
that doesn't feel I.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
Don't I don't want to be that. I don't like myself.
I don't like that. I don't like that I tried
that on and I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I don't like that persona. I don't think that's me.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
Yeah, more better, more better, I think.
Speaker 4 (37:23):
You know, it's how do we be uh, how do
we be more better at being a girl's girl?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
Like in general, like out in the world, Like is it?
I mean I would say like lead with kindness. Yeah,
like that's so cliche, but it really is like lead
with kindness, you know, like when you experience someone like,
to me, this is being girls girls. The The other
(37:48):
day at the airport, I saw this young mom. She
was young, like real cute, her little baby was super cute,
and her stroller were but her baby was flipping out,
like flipping out. The little girl was like screaming at
the top of the homs, right, And so the mom
stops to do something. She's like kind of struggling with
all the bags and stuff, and I like walk over
(38:09):
and I'm like hi to the baby, you know, like
playing with the baby a little bit, not getting too close,
just a little distraction, you know, so the mom can
kind of like do what she needs to do. And
it's like, I don't know what the story is. I
don't know who you are. I don't know your politics,
I don't know any of that. What I see is
a woman who needs a little bit of help and
I'm gonna help you, yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Or like if I see two girls outside of a
happened in New York. These two girls were outside of
a coffee shop taking a ton of pictures, like taking
up the whole sidewalk. Am I gonna be like eugh no, yeah,
because like do do you babe? Like I can walk
in the street for a second. It's not gonna hurt me.
Like I'm fine, Like get your pictures, get your you know,
(38:50):
get your little moment like that. I think leading with
Kindness in general as a human being is good, but
like particularly toward women who are, like, as you said,
facing a wall of bullshit at any given moment.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
Yeah, it's like having a little extra empathy, a little
extra kindness, a little extra whatever that you can give
that day. It's it's a woman because when.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
People are shit, yeah, because like we get it the worst,
you know, So like even when people are kind of shitty,
it's like, Okay, okay, she's having a bad day. I
need to get an argument with you unless you gonna
pick a fight with me, and then yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's kind of it. Right. Like also that thing that
(39:36):
therapists say all the time, which is like, hurt people,
hurt people. But it's like, if you're being shit to
me in public and I don't know you, that's got
everything to do with you.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
And nothing nothing to do with me. Yeah that's the thing.
Oh wait I wanted to do. Oh yes.
Speaker 4 (39:55):
In the nerd time, there was the four zodiacs that
are the biggest girls.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Girl are you ready?
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I'm ready? It is Aries. I'm an Aries rising are you?
Speaker 4 (40:11):
Aries are incredibly loyal when it comes to their friendships,
but they don't like to sugarcoat or play games either.
That that's what makes aries a perfect girl's girl. They
aren't afraid to share the hard truths. When they tell
you something you might not want to hear, they can
still do it in a loving way.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
I hope, I think so.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Trying to think of you ever told me something I
didn't want to hear? Gemini?
Speaker 4 (40:37):
I do not agree with that. Isn't Gemini that the
twins one?
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Yeah, No, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I feel like I've known a Commni gets a bad
rap for being two faced, and I don't think that's
what it is. I think Gemini is of two minds,
like they can see both sides of things, you know,
I don't know. I've known some bad Geminis.
Speaker 2 (40:58):
I've been friends with some Geminis that h did feel
two face?
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Oh that's brutal.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
It's easy to get along with a Gemini because they
make friends everywhere they go. They enjoy, okay, they enjoy
being around other people, and they celebrate and support all
their close friends, do they.
Speaker 4 (41:18):
But especially the women in their lives. Plus, Gemini's curiosity
means they'll be your biggest cheerleader.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Geminis, why don't you write in specifically to Melissa and
tell her about how you're a good friend.
Speaker 4 (41:31):
Yeah, great, I will. I can't wait to hear it. Okay,
virgo virgo.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
My mom's a virgo?
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Oh really? Because my mom a girl and my mom
is kind of a girl's girl. My mom's a girl's
girl about it.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
But I feel like virgos are also.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
That's just your mom, I mean, like that's your relationship
with your mom coming out.
Speaker 4 (41:55):
Virgos are sure to be a great resource when you're
having a hard time. Problem solving makes virgos feel more productive.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
You know what, I think my rising or my moon,
my moon is in virgo.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Okay. Virgos are also really interested in self growth. Oh
are they?
Speaker 3 (42:12):
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Virgos are stubble. We'll say you're not having a girl's
girl about this girl. Virgos, I know are very stubborn.
So helping you helps them learn more about themselves. In turn,
girls girls have a deep appreciation for their relationships with
other women because there's so much you can learn from
being around them. Hmm. Okay.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
The last one is Capricorn.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
What is Capricorn? Capricorn is like end of December beginning.
Let's see what they can say. Let's fucking see what
they fucking say.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
Ready.
Speaker 4 (42:48):
Capricorns are known for their strong work ethic, Yes, but
they're also extremely intentional with their friendships. Yeah, she is
this Earth's sign. Is emotionally dependable and oh no, not
the big laugh, not the big laugh. Emotionally dependable and
(43:10):
very loyal.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
But they still expect you to value their friendship as
much as they do.
Speaker 1 (43:16):
Interesting. That feels a little tip for Tepe.
Speaker 4 (43:19):
Capricorns will do anything they can to help their friends succeed,
and they won't let jealousy get in the way of
celebrating women's wins.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
Yeah. I think that's pretty true about my mom, because.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
They don't really care about being the center of attention.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
That's not true, that's not true at all. But she
does celebrate other people's wins. She's always really excited.
Speaker 4 (43:41):
Yeah, she I feel that was energy Like the first
few times I met her, Like she was just like,
she's always so excited.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
There was another life on the show and like, yeah, yeah,
very proud. A Capricorn friend will help you achieve your goals,
ensure you on while you do it. That's the definition
of a girl's girl.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
More better that is I like that as a place
to sort of wrap up, And that is my takeaway,
is that I want to be a girls girl in
as much as that, like, I want to support and
help other people women feel good in the world. Yeah, right,
(44:24):
like in general, Like and we're talking about like general
girls girl right, Like if that's how we describe ourselves, right, Like,
if I'm in a bathroom and I think you're off,
it's cute. I'm gonna tell you if you need help
with like something, I'm going to try to help you.
If you are like just out in the world living
your life, I'm not gonna shot on you. You know,
there's no reason to.
Speaker 4 (44:45):
Yeah, yeah, that might take away just like being a
general cheerleader for women. Yeah, and like I said before,
I think holding a little more empathy, a little bit
more grace, a little bit more kindness.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah, I'm like holding yourself also accountable when you feel
yourself like like that. It's like, where is that base?
Is that based in my mm hmm competitiveness? Is that
based in the Yes? Those are good questions.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
Do I not like this woman because of the things
I've been programmed to kind of not like about women?
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Or is this like genuinely just like a shitty person.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, like asking yourself that question as opposed to just
doing the default.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
Of like, oh you know, like I like that. Yeah,
those good.
Speaker 1 (45:33):
Do you feel more better?
Speaker 2 (45:34):
I do feel more better better.
Speaker 3 (45:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
I mean I'm not as like averse to the phrase.
I think I was a little like I was like
scared to take on this. I do want to do gurly.
Let's do gurly. Oh my god. Oh okay, we'll see
you next time, see you next week. Bye.
Speaker 3 (45:54):
More.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
You have something you'd like to be more better at
that you want us to talk about in a future episode.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
with Stephanie Melissa is a production from Wvsound and iHeartMedia's
my Kunpua podcast network, hosted by me, Stephanie Beatriz, and
Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid and
Sophie Spencer Zebos.
Speaker 2 (46:25):
Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself Melissa Fumero, along
with Wilmer Valderrama and Leo Klem at WV Sound and
ISIS Madrid.
Speaker 1 (46:34):
This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by
Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and
Hello Boy. Our cover art is by Vincent Remy's and
photography by David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows. See you next week, Suckers, Bye Hoo,
(47:01):
Pokitomas mahor
Hosts And Creators
Stephanie Beatriz
Melissa Fumero
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