April 3, 2025 • 53 mins
Buckle up, More Better-ettes, because today we’re kicking off our two-part season finale. We’ve been reading your e-mails, comments and DMs all year and are dedicating our last two episodes to YOU! This week, Stephanie and Melissa are reading your messages, looking at pictures of your pets and answering some rapid-fire questions. After all’s said and done, Stephanie may just have an existential crisis and become a full-blown horse girl. See you next week for the season finale!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Na, I can't remember what the fuck I said.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I don't recall me neither, but I'm glad it helped,
because really, this is a podcast is like a stream
of consciousness, like it's just word vomit.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah, more better.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Or a little more better, Welcome to more Better. A
podcast where we stop pretending to have it all together
in a bracest journey of becoming a little more better
every day, or at least trying to.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
That's Stephanie Beatrice, and that's Melissa Fumero. And this is
a podcast that you're listening to in your car or
maybe at your home. Perhaps you're trying to go to sleep,
and we've absolutely ruined over you.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah we have.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Are your friend. I'm pretty I'm bringing eh Yeah listen.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, you know, there's one episode left of White Lotus
at this point.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I've heard it's ninety minutes long. Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
The government's in a real turmoil, I'd say, is a
polite way to say it.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm keeping it together, how about you? Yeah, man, Yeah,
pretty much the same. The world is on fire. Yeah,
I'm packing up my apartment in Atlanta going home this weekend.
So that is keeping me afloat and ativated. Although I
(01:42):
fucking hate packing.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Why do you?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Now, why do you hate packing when you're leaving? Because that,
to me is the best part. I just get overwhelmed
with packing.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Okay, I mean this is an easier form of packing
because I don't have to decide what to put in bags.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
You just take everything bags.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, either it goes in the trash or it goes
in the bags, yeah, or donated.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yes, yeah, So it just feels like a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'm just I can't believe how much stuff I've accumulated
over five months. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, and uh okay,
so I think I'm maybe judging myself or how you accumulated.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
To you, that's the worst part for you.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Is like what's wrong with me? Why did I get
all these things? And it's like because you were there
for five months. People, if everybody in the world had
to see what they accumulated in the last five months,
like just delineated into like a marked out, taped out
box and their living room floor, everybody would be shocked.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Everybody.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Now, Yeah, like I'm judging myself for like the spices
I bought that I didn't end up using because I
bought now cook more nobody. I cooked like three times
the whole time I was here.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, you either you give them to someone. I mean
half of your crew probably lives there, right.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah. I gave a huge bag of like kids necks
to Matthew Davis on my show because he has two
little kids.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
See.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, so there, and I found there's a food bank
down the road. I'm going to bring a bunch of
stuff to tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
You're paying a fea baby, I know. I know.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It's just like, I have two days to do all
of this. Well, then sometimes it's going to get Listen. Also,
sometimes you're gonna throw an or you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Like sometimes you just yeah, it has to go in
the trahood, in the fridge and freezer that is just
going to go in the trash and it kills me.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
But I know that's a hard one. I know that somebody.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
The last job I did, one of our riding staff
was looking at places, like a week before everybody got there,
and he was looking at places to rent. And while
he was looking at one of them, he decided not
to go with it, I think. But while he was
looking at one, the realtor was like, Oh, don't worry
about the fridge. The last person that was here was
an actor and he just left yesterday. He opens the fridge.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
He's with her.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
He opens the fridge and it's just like from the
bottom of the fridge to the top, it's just like juices, all.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
These amazing juices. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
She was like, he couldn't take them with you. Feel
free to take one when you leave.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
She left. He put as many as he could carry
in his bag, like, I was like, good for you.
They would have gone to waste. So I was gonna
drink those. Like the people that come and look at
the apartment, they're gonna throw.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Them away once someone decides to get the apartment or whatever,
you know, take twelve or whatever, go for it.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
An actor's refrigerator full top to bottom of juice.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I think he had like a lot of He had
a lot of shirtless scenes, this guy. So, guys, this
is this is that you guys. You know we're on
a tangent. We're gonna bring it back. Let's put it
back anyway. That's part of why you like this though.
I feel like.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
More Better.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Today's episode's very special Season one of More Better is coming.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
To the close.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
We are I don't know I've liked doing it. I mean,
I think it's been very fun. Melissa, I agree.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I agree, it's been very very fun, and and we're
gonna celebrate by dedicating the last two episodes to you listeners.
Thank you so much for listening to friends out there,
give your emails, your reviews, your community on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
That's been you. We love you. It's been awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So today is the listener mail Bag Extravaganza Banza. If
it was a ball, you would be dressed head to
toe in your letters.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
We're gonna answer some questions. We're gonna read some emails and.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Dms et cetera, et cetera, etcetera.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Shall we shall we die? We have?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
We have a lot of replies and voice notes and
fun stuff to get through. Okay, this first one I'm
excited about this. Okay, this first one is from our
Spring cleaning episode. It is Okay, we have a thank
you email and we have a couple comment and a
comment and like a question.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Okay, So hi more better team.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Just want to say thank you for this episode and
what Stephanie said about how she didn't grow up having
money and as a result, she knows it's hard to
get rid of things that you've spent good money on.
That hit me so hard, and I had a revelation
because I didn't realize.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
That that's my own problem. Oh gotta remember it's okay.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
So I really hope they didn't think this episode was
just them bullshitting around.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
We always do. We always think that because it helped
me at least. Thank you for all that you do, Amanda.
That's very cool. And then there was.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Quite the fiery debate over the you guessed it drunk
junk drawer, the drunk it should be?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It does? It looks like a drunk organized it. So
we have a couple.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Abby said, as a really organized person, a junk drawer
is necessary a la Monica Geller to show people you
are not actually crazy and sometimes you don't want to
get rid of things but they are uncate, categorizable.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Okay, Abby, I don't know if you knew this, but
Monica Geller's fake person. She's not real. She's on a
TV show. Somebody wrote her. It's not real, babe, it's
not real.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Stephanie.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Stephanie a Beatrice representation matters, okay, and she represents organized people.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
And she has a valid point. But I also I.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Love that Abby was like, oh, you need the juncture
to show other people that you're not crazy. Because what
Abby wants, deep down in her heart is to not
have the junk drawer. She wants to organize her junk
drawer and gosh dark, but she realized, Abby, you should
live your truth and absolutely have an organized junk drawer.
You can have an organized junk drawer. Meanwhile, it's still
(08:02):
a junk drawer.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
The whole debate was about whether or not you have
a junk drawer.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Okay, I wish I could pull this strawer out right
now because there's a lot of junk in this strawer.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
But it's organized. Duh, I don't.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I don't begrudge, but there's a lot of dundellaneous things
that are in there. Are there, not, Stephanie, There are
a lot of things, miscellaneous things that are not related
to each other.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
No in that drawer, aren't there?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
No? Okay, no, no, no. I'm going to take a
picture of this and I'm not even going to clean
it up. I'm going to take a picture so that
we can put it on our Instagram and you guys
can see the drunk drawer because no.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Okay, Well, Josh would like to know Joshi from TikTok
would like to know where you keep your batteries and
your twist ties?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Motherfuckers. I keep them organized, okay, Josh. The batteries have
a place. Everything has a home, is okay? Okay? Where
does that bin go?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It lives in the cabinet in the office. It lives
on the second shelf in the cabinet. Because where do
you put your twist ties? Where do you put your
rubber bands? Why do you have twist ties? What do
you need a twist tie for? Melissa?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I have children?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
What where do you keep your little clippies for the bags?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
What are you talking about? Open a bag of tortilla chips?
Because your you have a clip for the okay, fine clip? Okay,
we have chip clips, and we have rubber bands.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
We use rubber bands mostly like we save all the
rubber bands from produce and stuff in the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And I don't ever pick up a rubber band off
of any and no, why would I need a rubber band?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I don't need the right for closing bags? No, and
and not in this house. Not in this house. I
reject you. I reject it.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I reject it.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I'm also trying to reject every every twist tie or
rubber band that I'm coming in, trying to be sustainable,
use a recycle. I don't know when the last time
is that I actually bought something that had a twist
tie on it.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Maybe bread. I guess bread has twist ties on it.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
But like, yeah, you can just excuse me, but you
just stripped the twist tie of the paper. Throw the
paper part away because it's usually died, and then stick
the little thing in your recycling the metal part anyway.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Question number two fave place.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I'm Clara from France.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
First of all, I'd love to thank you for this
amazing podcast, but especially for being such beautiful people. That's
really sweet. Every episode is a little dose of happiness,
and you too have created a safe space for everyone
who had a bad day.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
That is truly what we wanted to do, so that's
really nice to hear. Clara, Thank you for the laughs,
all your advice. My question for you, is there a
place on earth that makes you feel better, a place
that tastes like home or maybe a trip that changed
your life forever. Mmmm, and then she said episode that's
(10:56):
really cute.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
What about you?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I always feel great when I am at the beach.
It doesn't matter what beach. I love a day at
the beach. I feel relaxed, I feel I just feel
so good. I like that whole woo woo thing of
like letting your feet touch wet sand and it like
have you heard that before? It like takes out all
(11:22):
the negative things in your body, Like I do feel.
I feel that and I believe it. Yeah, it's it's
my happy place. I don't know, I grew up going
to the beach. Maybe it's you know, ancestral DNA. Maybe yeah,
you arean the Caribbean. Yeah, but it's.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It's really is my happy place. What about you? That's beautiful.
I think there were two.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I mean, I really love Paris. I love Paris. I
think it's really special and beautiful. I don't know that I've.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Had a trip there that has felt like.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
There's always been something about the trips that I take there,
something funky. So I don't know if it's like I
need to go back, or if I need to free
myself from expectations of Paris.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
But I do love Paris very much.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I think I've been really I built it up in
my mind for so long when I was a kid.
It was this like amazing, magical place. And then the
first time that I ever went there, I was in
my you know, thirties already, and I just was like
overwhelmed by it. You know, I don't think it's a
city that you can explore like that.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Our trip was that was your first time, right, yeah trip, Yeah,
that was my first time.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
It was really special and like, but the the thing
about Paris is that it always makes me look at
my life like it always makes me like I was
dating somebody that didn't want to go at the time,
and I had to convince them to journey with all
of us to Paris, and it was like what the pick?
And then the second time I went, I went with
(13:04):
a friend who really just wasn't a great traveling partner.
And then the last time that I went was I
was like, I'm gonna do Paris with the baby, and
so like we went after oh gosh, we went after
a really long job that I had in London and
then went to Paris with the baby and my sister
(13:26):
joined us, and it was like a hillscape. I mean,
it is a hellscape if you're trying to like see
that city with a child like that, they can't walk
with themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Right, But since Ros is a little older, I do
have a great Paris tip that I got from another
mom that I wanted to do with my boys at
some point, but now they've outgrown.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Like the playground.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yeah, so this mom went to Paris and every day
they picked a different playground to go to, and then
they just kind of centered their day around that, right
and went to stuff around it. And she said they
explored the whole city and every day it was a
different playground. So it was like exciting for her kid.
And she also like wore out some you know energy,
(14:07):
And I thought that was such a cool, fun way
to do a city with a small kid.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yes, that's really smart. I think we Ross was still napping,
so we know.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
She was like itty bitty, like, I mean, now if
you went back, like if you went back at some
point in the next few years, like you still have
like probably yeah, if we I mean we're I go.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Back, I'm not going to take my kid, you know
what I was playing that you just want to go
and have like a romantic experience of it. Pars for
love of.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, okay, next question, I yeah, so I really love
pears uh okay. So this next one is from the
Style episode with our very own Ril Tunnel, who we
adore and love. She is both of our stylists. This
comes from Celeste. She said absolutely loved this episode. Ariel's
(15:03):
advice about shopping was so helpful and I literally felt
more better in my dress in my last dressing room
too all sizes and when something didn't fit I like
I had hoped, I totally thought, well, too bad for
that dress.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Great advice, Thank you. Yes, we love that.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I also thought of that episode recently because I went
through some thrift stores here in Atlanta. In there's some
really cute thrift stores in the Old Fourth Ward for
those of you visiting Atlanta. And I also thought of
that episode because obviously thrifting and vintage, the sizes are
(15:40):
crazy crazy, They're all over the place. Oh and I
just took all different sizes and kind of eyeballed and
didn't like stress out about it. I found a great
pair of Levi jeans from the seventies that are super
high waisted and like I guess people waists were smaller
(16:01):
then because like the weight. Sometimes I have a problem
with something fitting over my butt and not my waist
because I'm a booty girl, and I'm like, oh my god,
did ladies in the seventies have like booties like, because
if it's really good on the booty, but then it's
like a cinched waist and I've never found jeans with
that wit.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I think it was just the fit.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Really, it was like slightly different on all of the pants,
you know, it's just like lightly different.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, I don't know, it's it's it's they're great and
they're soft, and like, yes, yeah, and they're real. De
just didn't And then there were some things I took
in the same size that like did not zip at all,
Like they were just so so small.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
And I was like, well, to bad for those pants.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, too bad for those Oh that's great. I'm so
glad that uh she felt that way. IG is also
demanding to see your pink pants from that episode.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I did post them on my stories, so we'll try
to uh in the post. I don't know, maybe we
can highlight them on the more better pod. I'll try
to find the story or something, but I did do it.
I just paired them with like a simple little black
tank top I think cute, and I think I did.
I don't even remember if I did heels or like
(17:14):
sneakers and they looked were they like kind of long
or something? They were kind of long, so maybe it
was heels.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Do you still own them? Did you get rid of them?
Speaker 4 (17:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I still have them, but I do plan to get
them tailored for sneakers because I feel like they look
cute with like white sneakers, nice, nice, and they need
to be a little shorter, like I don't want to
have to wear a heel every time.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, I just tailored, like I think. I paid like
forty bucks for three T shirts. But I took them
to the dry cleaner and I was like, they because
they're like, you know, they fit everywhere else, but they're
like so long that they're hitting the whitest part of
my hips. And then they like, I don't want to
wear them, so I took a T shirt shorter. Yeah,
I took a T shirt that fits me great and
(17:55):
hits in the right spot. It was forty bucks for
three T shirts to get them hemmed, and they look
oh god, I'm gonna do that because I always end
up just cutting them and then I do and I'm
just I'm just gonna work out in this now.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. No, they have like
a finish tim Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah, because are we leaving our T shirts out or
are we tucking in?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
What do I think?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
It depends on the T shirt and the pair of
pants and also the belts. Okay, we can have this
discussion if you want. Y.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, if we're we're tucking in, we're using a belt.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Usually we're using a belt or like a pant that
lays like really flat. Because what I really to test
for myself is like you know, when you have so
now it's a fashion podcast.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You know when you like when.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You sit with a tucked T shirt in or a
tuck tucked T shirt especially, and then the waistband of
your pants starts to wrinkle up. Yeah, you know what
I'm talking about, Like the actual band of fabric, it
like starts to wrinkle and then it just looks bad.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Like to me, it looks bad on me. I don't
care why other people wear what I wear.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Whatever you want, but like that's a lot of times
we're all why I'll stick on a belt because I'm like, oh, well,
I want to tuck this shirt in, but I also
don't want to look at my wrinkled waistband.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Tips tips, we got them tips tips.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Or the work life balance episode got a reply from
Amanda on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Oh, she's the one who sent in. She's the one
that sent in the voice note.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
She needed help with like balancing and balancing all the
things she said the way I was shaking all capital
letters when I saw this episode drop.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
She put the.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Capital letters, not me. I was the one who sent
the voice message. Thank you for talking about this, y'all
made me feel a lot better. I'm gonna keep this
episode on repeat. Such good nuggets of wisdom here, Bitch,
I can't remember what the fuck I said.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm glad it helped, because really, this is a podcast,
is like a stream of consciousness, like it's just word vomit.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
And then we tried you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I feel like I did re listen to that episode
and thought to myself, bitch, you should do more of this.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I'm practice what you catch.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
These are great tips and you don't always follow them.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
That's real, that's real. Okay, do you want to read
this next one.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Next one is oh pep talk question email from Julie. Hi,
Melissa and Stephanie. My name is Julie and I live
in Northern Ontario, Canada. I am emailing because I am Canada.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
What's so Canada? We still love you even though our
government doesn't, but we do.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Sorry fifty one, Yeah, sorry, I am emailing because I'm
sitting at home with a concussion right now. Oh, and
your podcast is so entertaining and I'm so glad you
made it because I can't watch Brooklyn nine nine or
any screens for another week. Last week, I was singing
at a red light on my way to work and
someone drove right into the back of my car. Now
(21:03):
I have whiplash and a concussion. I was wondering if
you guys could talk about how you deal with it
when bad shit just happens to you and there is
nothing you can do about it. Oh, Julie, that is
so relatable and like, I feel like we've all been there.
I tore my ACL once in my twenties, and I
was a struggling actor, and I tried to because you
(21:27):
don't like need your ACL to really function in life,
Like I know someone that like never got into me. Okay, yeah, yeah,
because it's only for when you plant your foot and
change direction, so like you would in tennis, or you
would in dancing, or you would probably doing like an
action scene. So I just didn't want to like be
(21:50):
out of auditions. So I was like, I'm going to
wait till maybe like a slower time of year to
do the surgery. But then I did a job where
I had to wear high heels, like a short job
where I had where I heels and like my knee
buckled ones, and it just was like not possible, and
I was like.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Fuck, I have to do the surgery.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So then it's a pretty intense surgery and you're basically
like like put out for like six weeks. I had
to wear a brace from like my hip all the
way down to my ankle. Your whole leg shuts down,
so like getting in and out of the I needed
help getting in and out of the shower or bath.
(22:30):
I had to sit in the bath because like literally
your muscles are shut down, like they can you wiggle
your toes or no, you can move, you can move
a little bit, and you can wiggle your toes but
you can't like put any weight on it until like
a few weeks of physical therapy and then things start
to wake back up. I remember I had one muscle
above my knee that like wouldn't wake up, and they
(22:51):
used to always put this little you know, those little
things that make your muscle pulse. They would put that
on in the physical therapy to like wake it back up. Whoa, yeah,
So it was scary.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
It was scary. It was really hard.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
So I my heart goes out to Julie because it
is the hardest thing.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I think the fact that you are listening to podcasts
is like you're you know you are.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
You just have to like kind of make the best
of it. This is a great time to tell your friends, Hey,
I'm like laid out. If you have any time, like
come visit me for an hour and like, you know,
it's like you got to break up your day when
you can't like move around and so you know, uh,
(23:39):
once you get through your week of no screens, definitely
take you know, the opportunity to pick, you know, catch
up on some shows and movies, read a book. I
don't know how book is with you know, but it's
it's like you have to. I think the biggest thing
is you have to keep your head right. That's the
hardest part because it's really easy to like fall into
a deep depression to like want to show it to me,
(24:02):
why did this happen to me? You have to be
like kind of disciplined about you know. Obviously, like let
yourself have the fucking treats because you're going through it,
but like be conscious of what you're eating and putting
in your body because like all of it affects you,
you know. And I think that it's just keeping on
the motivation to keep your mind right. Yeah, and yeah,
(24:27):
it's like this is the time to like reach out
to your people for support.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Make sure you do go to physical therapy.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I remember when I went through my knee surgery. My
husband was so annoying about the importance of physical therapy
and he was like, you have to do your exercise
every day. And there was like this machine that would
like bend my leg and he was like, come on,
five more minutes, Like he was like a little like
a personal trainer.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
And I was like, you're so annoying. I want to
punch you in the face.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
But he was right, per usual it's really you. You
can't drop the ball on physical therapy, like you have
to do all the things, and you know, make sure
you do them when you're at home too. Just don't
just do them when you're at your sessions right right,
and know that this is temporary and this too shall
pass and you're just in the like worst part of it. Yeah, yeah,
(25:21):
but it happens.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
It sucks, and like it sucks. It's okay to acknowledge
that it sucks, and it's okay to have like a
good cry about it.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I mean, and yes, obviously we're talking about there's like
a there's a big scale of bad shit, and yeah,
this is in the grand scheme on the low end
of yeah, bad shit. A concussion is scary for sure,
and whiplash is really painful, but you will make it
(25:53):
through it. It's gonna be okay. It's only a week.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Also, you know, like a little digital detox for a
week isn't bad. People fucking pay a lot of money
to go do that shit. Put their things in a
little zippered bag, a La White lotus, you know what
I mean, Like, yeah, you it's gonna be okay, Julie, Okay,
You're gonna make it, Julie. This is from our self
(26:16):
care episode. Kristen wrote in, so this is very cute.
I just listened to the episode on self care and
at the end of it said to email in what
we do for self care? So I wanted to share.
I am in my mid forties, single and no kids.
I work in the veterinary field and work for eleven
hour shifts plus another eleven hour shift over time. Girl.
(26:40):
So when I have the time, I do like to
get my nails done and I like how Stephanie said,
I don't mind a long appointment. I always bring a
book to read when I get a pedicure. I also
horseback ride.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Oh dreamy.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
When I ride these horses, you are both just in
tune to each other and balanced together. It's this amazing
feeling that lasts for the rest of the day.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
One more thing I'm doing is me and my best
year going on a trip just us to Disney for Halloween.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Cute.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
We're going to be care free and go to the
Halloween party and dress up and trick or treat and
no spouse's husbands, kids or pets involved. And on my
commute to work, I just love to blast my music
and saying because I sound like Celine Dion in my
car alone. Yes, yeah, any time to be compress before
work and after work. I greatly enjoy listening to the
(27:27):
podcast and can't wait for more. Just for fun, I
added a picture of me.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
And my horse Patches.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Her horse Patches Patches.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Horseback riding sounds like I'm very, very invested in the
idea of doing this myself this year. I really want
to take horseback writing lessons.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I just I've always.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Wanted to do it. I'm I don't know how to
go about it and do it. I really want to.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
You can.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
You can go to the Equestrian Center and Burbank. Oh
that's such a drive though for me, I need something,
Oh my.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
God, I know it's not it's whole, it's four.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I need something easty. I need something more easty. I'm sure,
but I do want to do easty. I do want
to do it. That's so cool, that's a really I
also really love that she does all these things for
herself while maintaining such an intense work schedule, so she
can find the time.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
And so can you, Yes, dear listeners, so can you?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
So can you I also love the girls trip. I
just had two childhood buddies visit me in Atlanta and
we had a girl's weekend and it was so restorative
for everyone involved, Like that's amazing, no kids, no husbands,
just as girls.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Like it was so fun. And we did a spa day.
It was great.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It was great, and I was like we were all saying, like, Oh,
we have to make this happen like more often, not
just you know, every five years.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Oh my god, that's so nice. I did.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I haven't done one of those in a really long time.
But I did go to the mall in Arcadia with
one of my girlfriends. No kids, no husbands, nobody but us.
That mall, girl, I tell you what, that is the
best mall I have ever been to India a life.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
It is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
It is it's like Korean skin care, just like delicious food.
Luxury shopping. But then there's also like not luxury shopping.
I mean I did not luxury shop. I was like
looking for those deals. I had a great there's a
dairy queen slash Orange Julius. I was in heaven. I
could have stayed there all back. Yeah, Okay, I get
(29:36):
it was fantastic. Next, also, I'll go in a girl's
trip with you. Oh, that would be fun. That'd be
really great for not work.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
We've only ever done them.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
For not work, for work where we're where we're not
doing a panel, I'll do a girls trip with you,
or we're not because we've actually been on so many
girls trips, so many, but.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
They're always like a panel, yeah or yeah, work related.
There's a picture Patches attached to the email. Let me
just see here. Oh my god, this is the dream horse.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
This is the dream really looking at the camera. He's
a modeling. He's a super modeling. He is Oh my god,
it's a supermodel. This is rude. I love this horse.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Okay, all right, all right, I guess I need to
learn how to ride horses.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
Okay? Do I love that idea for you? Don't put
that sign in there?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Why am I telling everybody to edit everything out this episode?
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Don't edit it out?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
That's real, my sigh of despair and delight over this horse. Patches,
who I'll probably never meet, who have calls him my soul.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Okay, next question, Next.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Question is that's in life listener Emma email?
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Okay, Oh, it's a voice note.
Speaker 6 (30:56):
Hi, Stephanie and Melissa. First of all, I adore your podcast.
It makes my day so much brighter. When I listened
to it, I was just wondering, what's your take on pets.
I recently got two more cats and I had to
bottle feed them, so I was waking up every two hours,
and that's when I primarily listened to your podcast. So
their names are Beatrice and for Marrow. But I was
(31:16):
just wondering how you deal with your pets and your
busy lives. So, yeah, how a great day?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Buye that was so cute? Like good she loved her cat.
You can't believe me, do so cut? Okay, Emma, that's
really sweet.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I have a dog.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
His name is Guda. He is so sweet and a
real pain in the ass. He he was really used
to being the only little little creature and then Roz
came along, My child came along, and he was not
having it. He is much more resigned to the fact
(31:55):
that there is a child here now, I would say,
but he's not. He's still like very uncomfortable around her,
Like he doesn't really like he'll sit still for pets.
Sometimes if Brad and I make a big deal over
something Roz is doing.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Guda will get in the mix and try to like
he gets really jealous. He's my god. He's yes, he's
very god.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
So I the way that I make time for him
is like I really try early in the morning to
walk him by myself or spend time. If I don't
have enough time to walk him that morning, I spend
time with him by myself, like if I'm answering emails
or something like he's sitting on my lap and I'm
petting him, like just me and him, you know. And
(32:39):
the other thing is like sometimes I feel like with
older dogs they can.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Become a part of the furniture a.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Little bit because they're just laying around a lot of
the time because it's.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Uncomfortable for them to move.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
He's not that old, but I try to pet him
every time that I pass by, like or I try
to acknowledge him every time that I pass by, like
I see you, buddy, you're being a good boy, or whatever,
you know, because like with my last dog, who I
adufted when he was an old old man, you just
don't know how much time you have with the older ones.
(33:12):
And like period, honestly, like with animals, like they can't
tell you when shit is fucked up. You don't know
how much time you have. Yeah, you know, it's like
you just gotta squeeze them and hug them and love them.
And it sounds like you're already doing that by you know,
bottle feeding them every two hours like you do a
baby when they're new.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, and I've I've I've found with pets it's a
little bit like kids where it's like quality over quantity,
you know, like if.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
I also, I also have a dog. She's a big dog.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
She's two years old, so still like a little bit
puppyish sometimes, so she requires, like, you know, she has
to be walked, and she has to like get her
energy out every day, which we're pretty good about doing.
But when it's a spend busy and I can tell
(34:04):
that she's you know, been neglected all day, it's like
I'll just take her outside for twenty minute and just
like I'll set a timer and I'll be like twenty minutes,
I'm gonna I'm gonna throw a ball, I'm gonna tug
a rope, I'm gonna like try to get your wigglies out.
She'll do some zoomies and then that that's like, you know,
and then I'll give her like lots of hugs and
(34:25):
cuddles after that, and like.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
That seems to be Oh my god, I just the
little cat picture just of her cat just popped up
on our.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Outline and it's a little baby black kitten and it's
so cute, so tiny.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Oh all her cats are black.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Oh my god, kids, these kins are freaking cute.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Broh.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, and then you had to bottle feet. I mean
that's like having a newborn man. Like you just got
to get through it. You gotta do the bare minimum, uh,
until they get a little bigger.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
And then yeah, like if you get.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Really busy and you feel like you, you know, just
get out some toys, set a timer, like whatever time
you have and.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Then do that.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I feel like cats at least, you know, you don't
have to walk them. You'll have to take them outside.
So but yeah, it's it is tough.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Oh my god, they're so cute. They're really cute. This
is rude.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
We're gonna post this picture of the cat trying to
figure out how to eat out of a bowl because
it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Oh, it's got Lottle.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
And then at least for me, like having having a
dog is like before we got the dog, I was like, okay, uh,
we have to know who's gonna take care of the
dog when we have to go out of town or
you know, and so like we made sure to have
those things in place too.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
The responsibilities are big, I think big.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
I forget that I ever tell you one time this
is tea, but one time I was at a job
and I overheard someone. I overheard someone talking about how
while they were just gonna have to give the dog
back to the shelter because it just was not listening
and this and that or whatever, and like I was
sitting there and like, listen, sometimes you do have to
(36:11):
rehome pets, like if you've really really tried all the things.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
But I do, I really.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Strongly believe that, like there's not a world in which
I would have rehomed Gouda unless he like he hurt ras,
you know, like and even if he accidentally hurt her
or she got in his space and like he bit
her or something like, I would hope that we would
try to work with him. Obviously, that's my own situation,
(36:40):
and my dog is ten pounds. It's different than a
you know, fifty pound animal. Yeah, but I mean I
think you getting a dog looks fun. It always looks
so sweet in the movies, you know. But like cats
are a lot of work, dogs are a lot of work.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Birds are a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
The fucking birds lived for like forty years. Like, be
real with yourself about how much yes, I can, I can.
I can't imagine it, Okay, next one subject, Thank you
for the heartbreak episode, Dear Stephanie, Melissa and the More
Better Team. I was listening to your episode about heartbreak
(37:19):
and it made me cry in a good way, the
kind of cry that you've been needing to have but
you just don't have time.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Or emotional space. Tell me about it. I love those cries.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Over the past three years, I've gone through a lot
of change. I moved to a new state to go
to law school after nine years in a totally different career. Wow,
so many things have started and go ahead, dang and
ended in that short time. And while I'm super proud
of myself, most of those things have been good. Every
now and then I felt really sad and I couldn't
put my finger on why your episode made me realize
some of what I was feeling was heartbreak. Even though
(37:49):
wonderful things started in those three years, a lot of
things ended. I don't think I took the time I
needed to recognize that and more than the things I've
lost for the changes I'd undergone, the past three years
have been go, go, go, and you gave me thirty
mone and it's to stop reflect and feel all the
things I'm gonna I'm gonna cry that I had put
to the side as I was trying to keep up
with everything. Thank you for giving me that chance. I
(38:09):
definitely feel more better. Sincerely, Rebecca, Rebecca, how dare you.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Make me cry? Becca gos Nic.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
That is really really sometimes you just need because that's
the thing, right sometimes when you can name it where
you can put a name to it and it can.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Just like help you process it.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
And the fact that that episode helped you do that
is huge. It makes me feel so touched and thank
you for that, you know what, Rebecca, Fuck you for
making me tear up. Okay, Next, this is actually a
(39:02):
question listener question and there's a voice note, so let's
listen to it.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
The subject is setting boundaries. Hi, Stephanie and Melissa le
Ninus Lupet. I live in Los Angeles and I have
loved your podcast. Thank you for what you both do.
I'm curious about your thoughts on setting boundaries, whether it's
in life or with loved ones or at work. I'm Latina,
(39:28):
and I think for Latinas and basically all people of
color or anyone that is part of a marginalized group,
it can sometimes feel difficult to set boundaries due to
perhaps a combination of cultural expectations, systemic pressures, and or.
Speaker 5 (39:51):
Basically just how we were raised. I think it was
a few podcasts episodes ago where you both touched on
code switching how we can sometimes feel like we have
to suppress parts of ourselves in order to fit into
certain environments, and it made me think about boundaries and
how difficult it can be setting boundaries and environments like that,
(40:13):
and it basically leads to perhaps us not always advocating
for ourselves and just makes it even more challenging. Curious
about your thoughts. Love you both and really appreciate your perspective.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
That's first of all, is Lupa teaching a class? Can
I take it like? She sounds so smart?
Speaker 1 (40:34):
I know Jesus so well spoken and you should be
our podcast. Yeah yeah, I think, like, yeah, I mean
it is all those things, right, Like, I think, especially
for groups that are marginalized in any kind of way,
shape or form, it becomes this most strange mix of
I know what I need, but I'm not sure I'm
(40:55):
safe enough to ask for it at all times. Right.
I feel like for many people in this world's straight
wide dudes, like they there's a safety at all times
and I'm going to ask for what I need.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
But for groups that are marginalized.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
It can be like I actually don't know if I'm
safe to ask for what I need or to create
the boundary because I don't know if I'm going to
lose my job. I don't know if I'm going to
be seen as a bitch. I don't know if I'm
going to be you know, I don't know if I'm
going to lose out on further opportunities because I was,
I mean hard to work with, you know, I don't know.
(41:36):
It depends on the situation, right, but I think, Uh,
the thing that I try to remember is that everybody
around me is human, and I try to sort of
like scale.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
Like.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
How important is this boundary? Is it?
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Is it like a physical boundary of like, oh, don't
touch me like that, you know?
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Is it with my employer sort of saying like, hey,
we need you to work on a Saturday, and I
have a my kid's birthday parties planned for that Saturday,
and I can say, I can say I can't.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
I can't. I can't work on that Saturday.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
I understand that it's going to put us behind, but
I just I mean, contractually, if you obligate me to
be there, I will show up, but I.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
Can't work on that day, you know.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
I mean I remember when my dad was dying, and
like I showed up to work every day, and I
maybe shouldn't have those that the last day.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
I probably shouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Yeah, I probably should stay home with my dad, you know,
because like he was gone three days later, and you know,
I probably shouldn't have or I should have Maybe I
should have. I mean I shouldn't should all over myself,
which is what my friend Lina says, but don't should
all over yourself.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
But I wish I could have said.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Actually, my needs in this moment are that I have
less hours in this last week because my father is.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Dying, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Now that's different than a boundary necessarily, but it's similar.
I think, what do you think? Also, I know it's hard.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
I think especially like women in general, but particularly Latino women,
I feel like it is kind of ingrained in our
culture and the way we grow up of like we
do everything, we take care of everyone, and we don't complain,
and like we're built for that, you know, these all
these like made up expectations. Yeah, and it can be
really really hard, and it's something I struggle with. I
(43:38):
think part of it is I think what I have
gotten more better at is like saying no. I feel
like I'm so sorry, but no, like I can't or
that's not going to work. You know, Is there another
solution we can come to? Is there another compromise we
can figure out?
Speaker 3 (43:53):
You know?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Always like trying for me, like setting a boundary a
lot of times I don't know if this is good
or bad includes some type of collaboration follow up, you know,
like a better solution, like can we you know, is
there something else we can work out? You know, because
I find sometimes if I'm bringing the other person into it,
(44:14):
they're more likely to like respect my boundary.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Because how can we collaborate with shutting them off?
Speaker 2 (44:20):
How can we collaborate on like a different solution or
something else that works for me and you because this doesn't.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
I think that's great. Yeah, I think there's like a.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
I feel like setting boundaries is also like somewhat newer
in our society, do.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Like in general, like in general of like talking about it,
like I don't feel like it's normalized yet, do you.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Know what I mean? So I feel like for people
that aren't.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Men, Yes, I'm pretty sure set boundaries a full time
since time, you know what I mean, like the for
the the rest of us, for the rest of us,
like a work in progress for the best.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
So I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
I think I'm always like on guard of like people
can get really defensive when you're trying to set a boundary.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
So I think that's why I do the collaboration thing.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Is just like I find I you know, there have
been times where I just be like no, and then
that person sure like defense goes up and they get
insulted or whatever, and and then I have another problem
I have to deal with. But yeah, so I've sort
of started doing that is but yeah, it is hard.
(45:35):
It is hard, and I and I myself have to
constantly remind myself that like.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I'm like
better at you know.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
I mean, I am better at like a lot of things,
but like doesn't mean that my you know, my gender
or my DNA makes me like naturally better at things.
I'm just doing them because no one else is, you know.
And yeah, and so you know, it is it is hard,
(46:04):
but then it always feels great when I do it,
And that's the part I try to remember that.
Speaker 3 (46:09):
I always feel stronger and more empowered, and so.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
I try to like hold on to that when I'm
about to try to have that conversation.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Yeah, I think some sometimes it is. Sometimes it's worthwhile
to have a collaborative conversation about it. Sometimes it's it's
guess in check a lot of times, like what what
what would happen if I just said no? You know what,
what does happen if I just said no?
Speaker 3 (46:36):
That doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Right, because you build it up in our heads and
we say no, and the people and the others and go,
oh okay, yeah, and it was no medal, and.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
You're like, fuck, man, I should say no more.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
I wish that everybody was starting with the same baseline
of kindness, politeness, thoughtfulness, and the reality is that nobody
is starting with the same baseline. Most of the time,
you find people that are similar to you, and you
(47:08):
become friends with those people because that feels good. But
the reality is that we're all in a big old
mix with people that you know, some people haven't had
a kind word given to them their entire lives, and
so our real true pieces of shit to work with,
you know, or like be around, and it's hard. That's hard,
(47:30):
and then other people just don't know how to have
like delivery that always sounds great to somebody else's ear.
Speaker 5 (47:36):
You know.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I remember being friends with this kid who in high
school he just like had no boundaries and it was
so difficult to like get him to understand like bro,
and like subsequently he didn't have a lot of friends
outside like the theater group because like he just had
no boundaries, like with you know, he just couldn't like
(47:57):
quote unquote read signs. But like turns out he was
sort of I think today he would probably be described
as autistic and like couldn't really would absolutely respect the
sign like or respect a boundary. If given a specific
boundary like I don't feel comfortable when you put your
arm around me when we're hanging out in a group,
you'd be like okay, and like wouldn't even feel like,
(48:19):
oh sorry, did I do something wrong? Would just be like, oh, okay,
I won't do that anymore, you know. And it was
as easy as that, right. Yeah, he couldn't necessarily read
signs that you didn't like it, but once you told
him what your boundary was, he respected.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
It always and forever. It was a really.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Interesting lesson and like, oh yeah, sometimes you just got
to come out, come right out and say it without
beating around the bush and trying to be polite.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
And other times you have to use kid globes to
handle people, so lopout. What we're saying is we don't
want the answer. Sorry, it's hard. Sorry, thanks slooping for
the ways.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
That's a good question, really solid air.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I hope we kind of sort of tackled some of it. Yeah, okay, so.
Speaker 5 (49:07):
More better.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
Okay, So what have we learned today?
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I learned that I really love horses, particularly Patches, who
I feel is maybe maybe a prototype for the horse,
maybe I'll get to ride someday if I take these lessons.
I'm not going to Burbank, but maybe I'll take horses
right back riding lessons and indulge myself in some more
(49:33):
uh self care that.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Maybe I didn't realize that I needed.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
Yeah, get that horse joy in your life, girl. Yeah, girl,
I have been watercolor painting more.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
I just like bought a big thing you want to see?
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Yeah, I don't want to see your watercolor.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Oh, Stephanie, that's so pretty. Oh my goodness, I love
and I would like a water color. I would like
a Stephanie Beatrice water color in my house. So can
you please make so let us know everybody if you.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
Guys want, original's going to be opening her Etsy art.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
She's gonna be opening her Etsy store any day now.
Speaker 3 (50:16):
No, thank you? What about you? Would you?
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Would you come away with this this session?
Speaker 3 (50:22):
Oh gosh. I came away with.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Relief that what I have felt has just been us
fucking bullshitting has actually made some people happy and meant
something to people, which was always the goal.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
And so I.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Feel really proud and mostly relief of oh, thank god
we pulled it off. And yeah, and I also learned
that I got to work on my boundaries, my boundaries,
because the way I broke out into a sweat while
we were talking about them men was a big old
(51:02):
clue that.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
I don't think I've been nailing it. Only I've been
nailing it. You probably that's always a work in progress. Yeah,
that's what it is. It's a work in progress.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
And it feels like I feel like it's something that
evolves too, like as you get older and you know,
and it's something that you're always having to kind of reevaluate.
Like I know very few people that are like so
good at setting boundaries.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
They are all white men and like maybe a couple
of women.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yeah, but it's just like super powerful people usually are.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Pretty damn powerful people are really good at it, that is. Yeah,
those are those are good kind of people to look
to of like how they do it sometimes if they
do it in like a kind healthy way.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
But yeah, but it was it was great. It was
great to like go through all of these It was fun.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
Yeah, it was a nice hearing from you guys.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Join us next week for finale, our season finale with
more listener emails.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
Okay, bye bye, bye bye, you guys.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want us to talk about in your
future episode.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured.
Speaker 3 (52:15):
On the pod.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
Ooh, More Better with Daphanie Melissa is a production from
wvsound and iHeartMedia's Mikultura podcast network, hosted by me Steffie
Diatriz and Melissa Kumara. More Better is produced by Isis
Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zagos. Our executive producers are Wilmer
Valderrama and Leo Klem at wvsound. This episode was edited
by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features
(52:38):
original music by Madison Devenport and Heylo Boy. Our cover
art is by Vincent Remys and photography by David Avalos.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
You listen to your favorite shows. See you next week,
Bye
Speaker 1 (53:01):
On no Pokitomas Mahor
Na, I can't remember what the fuck I said.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I don't recall me neither, but I'm glad it helped,
because really, this is a podcast is like a stream
of consciousness, like it's just word vomit.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah, more better.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Or a little more better, Welcome to more Better. A
podcast where we stop pretending to have it all together
in a bracest journey of becoming a little more better
every day, or at least trying to.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
That's Stephanie Beatrice, and that's Melissa Fumero. And this is
a podcast that you're listening to in your car or
maybe at your home. Perhaps you're trying to go to sleep,
and we've absolutely ruined over you.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah we have.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Are your friend. I'm pretty I'm bringing eh Yeah listen.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah, you know, there's one episode left of White Lotus
at this point.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I've heard it's ninety minutes long. Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
The government's in a real turmoil, I'd say, is a
polite way to say it.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm keeping it together, how about you? Yeah, man, Yeah,
pretty much the same. The world is on fire. Yeah,
I'm packing up my apartment in Atlanta going home this weekend.
So that is keeping me afloat and ativated. Although I
(01:42):
fucking hate packing.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Why do you?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Now, why do you hate packing when you're leaving? Because that,
to me is the best part. I just get overwhelmed
with packing.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Okay, I mean this is an easier form of packing
because I don't have to decide what to put in bags.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
You just take everything bags.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, either it goes in the trash or it goes
in the bags, yeah, or donated.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yes, yeah, So it just feels like a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I'm just I can't believe how much stuff I've accumulated
over five months. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, and uh okay,
so I think I'm maybe judging myself or how you accumulated.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
To you, that's the worst part for you.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
Is like what's wrong with me? Why did I get
all these things? And it's like because you were there
for five months. People, if everybody in the world had
to see what they accumulated in the last five months,
like just delineated into like a marked out, taped out
box and their living room floor, everybody would be shocked.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
Everybody.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Now, Yeah, like I'm judging myself for like the spices
I bought that I didn't end up using because I
bought now cook more nobody. I cooked like three times
the whole time I was here.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Yeah, you either you give them to someone. I mean
half of your crew probably lives there, right.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah. I gave a huge bag of like kids necks
to Matthew Davis on my show because he has two
little kids.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
See.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, so there, and I found there's a food bank
down the road. I'm going to bring a bunch of
stuff to tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
You're paying a fea baby, I know. I know.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It's just like, I have two days to do all
of this. Well, then sometimes it's going to get Listen. Also,
sometimes you're gonna throw an or you know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Like sometimes you just yeah, it has to go in
the trahood, in the fridge and freezer that is just
going to go in the trash and it kills me.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
But I know that's a hard one. I know that somebody.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
The last job I did, one of our riding staff
was looking at places, like a week before everybody got there,
and he was looking at places to rent. And while
he was looking at one of them, he decided not
to go with it, I think. But while he was
looking at one, the realtor was like, Oh, don't worry
about the fridge. The last person that was here was
an actor and he just left yesterday. He opens the fridge.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
He's with her.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
He opens the fridge and it's just like from the
bottom of the fridge to the top, it's just like juices, all.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
These amazing juices. Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
She was like, he couldn't take them with you. Feel
free to take one when you leave.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
She left. He put as many as he could carry
in his bag, like, I was like, good for you.
They would have gone to waste. So I was gonna
drink those. Like the people that come and look at
the apartment, they're gonna throw.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Them away once someone decides to get the apartment or whatever,
you know, take twelve or whatever, go for it.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
An actor's refrigerator full top to bottom of juice.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
I think he had like a lot of He had
a lot of shirtless scenes, this guy. So, guys, this
is this is that you guys. You know we're on
a tangent. We're gonna bring it back. Let's put it
back anyway. That's part of why you like this though.
I feel like.
Speaker 5 (04:53):
More Better.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Today's episode's very special Season one of More Better is coming.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
To the close.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
We are I don't know I've liked doing it. I mean,
I think it's been very fun. Melissa, I agree.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I agree, it's been very very fun, and and we're
gonna celebrate by dedicating the last two episodes to you listeners.
Thank you so much for listening to friends out there,
give your emails, your reviews, your community on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
That's been you. We love you. It's been awesome. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
So today is the listener mail Bag Extravaganza Banza. If
it was a ball, you would be dressed head to
toe in your letters.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
We're gonna answer some questions. We're gonna read some emails and.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Dms et cetera, et cetera, etcetera.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Shall we shall we die? We have?
Speaker 2 (05:51):
We have a lot of replies and voice notes and
fun stuff to get through. Okay, this first one I'm
excited about this. Okay, this first one is from our
Spring cleaning episode. It is Okay, we have a thank
you email and we have a couple comment and a
comment and like a question.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Okay, So hi more better team.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Just want to say thank you for this episode and
what Stephanie said about how she didn't grow up having
money and as a result, she knows it's hard to
get rid of things that you've spent good money on.
That hit me so hard, and I had a revelation
because I didn't realize.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
That that's my own problem. Oh gotta remember it's okay.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
So I really hope they didn't think this episode was
just them bullshitting around.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
We always do. We always think that because it helped
me at least. Thank you for all that you do, Amanda.
That's very cool. And then there was.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Quite the fiery debate over the you guessed it drunk
junk drawer, the drunk it should be?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It does? It looks like a drunk organized it. So
we have a couple.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Abby said, as a really organized person, a junk drawer
is necessary a la Monica Geller to show people you
are not actually crazy and sometimes you don't want to
get rid of things but they are uncate, categorizable.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Okay, Abby, I don't know if you knew this, but
Monica Geller's fake person. She's not real. She's on a
TV show. Somebody wrote her. It's not real, babe, it's
not real.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Stephanie.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Stephanie a Beatrice representation matters, okay, and she represents organized people.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
And she has a valid point. But I also I.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Love that Abby was like, oh, you need the juncture
to show other people that you're not crazy. Because what
Abby wants, deep down in her heart is to not
have the junk drawer. She wants to organize her junk
drawer and gosh dark, but she realized, Abby, you should
live your truth and absolutely have an organized junk drawer.
You can have an organized junk drawer. Meanwhile, it's still
(08:02):
a junk drawer.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
The whole debate was about whether or not you have
a junk drawer.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Okay, I wish I could pull this strawer out right
now because there's a lot of junk in this strawer.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
But it's organized. Duh, I don't.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
I don't begrudge, but there's a lot of dundellaneous things
that are in there. Are there, not, Stephanie, There are
a lot of things, miscellaneous things that are not related
to each other.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
No in that drawer, aren't there?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
No? Okay, no, no, no. I'm going to take a
picture of this and I'm not even going to clean
it up. I'm going to take a picture so that
we can put it on our Instagram and you guys
can see the drunk drawer because no.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Okay, Well, Josh would like to know Joshi from TikTok
would like to know where you keep your batteries and
your twist ties?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Motherfuckers. I keep them organized, okay, Josh. The batteries have
a place. Everything has a home, is okay? Okay? Where
does that bin go?
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It lives in the cabinet in the office. It lives
on the second shelf in the cabinet. Because where do
you put your twist ties? Where do you put your
rubber bands? Why do you have twist ties? What do
you need a twist tie for? Melissa?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
I have children?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
What where do you keep your little clippies for the bags?
Speaker 3 (09:11):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Like?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
What are you talking about? Open a bag of tortilla chips?
Because your you have a clip for the okay, fine clip? Okay,
we have chip clips, and we have rubber bands.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
We use rubber bands mostly like we save all the
rubber bands from produce and stuff in the grocery store.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
And I don't ever pick up a rubber band off
of any and no, why would I need a rubber band?
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I don't need the right for closing bags? No, and
and not in this house. Not in this house. I
reject you. I reject it.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I reject it.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I'm also trying to reject every every twist tie or
rubber band that I'm coming in, trying to be sustainable,
use a recycle. I don't know when the last time
is that I actually bought something that had a twist
tie on it.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Maybe bread. I guess bread has twist ties on it.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
But like, yeah, you can just excuse me, but you
just stripped the twist tie of the paper. Throw the
paper part away because it's usually died, and then stick
the little thing in your recycling the metal part anyway.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Question number two fave place.
Speaker 5 (10:21):
Hi.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
I'm Clara from France.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
First of all, I'd love to thank you for this
amazing podcast, but especially for being such beautiful people. That's
really sweet. Every episode is a little dose of happiness,
and you too have created a safe space for everyone
who had a bad day.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
That is truly what we wanted to do, so that's
really nice to hear. Clara, Thank you for the laughs,
all your advice. My question for you, is there a
place on earth that makes you feel better, a place
that tastes like home or maybe a trip that changed
your life forever. Mmmm, and then she said episode that's
(10:56):
really cute.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
What about you?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I always feel great when I am at the beach.
It doesn't matter what beach. I love a day at
the beach. I feel relaxed, I feel I just feel
so good. I like that whole woo woo thing of
like letting your feet touch wet sand and it like
have you heard that before? It like takes out all
(11:22):
the negative things in your body, Like I do feel.
I feel that and I believe it. Yeah, it's it's
my happy place. I don't know, I grew up going
to the beach. Maybe it's you know, ancestral DNA. Maybe yeah,
you arean the Caribbean. Yeah, but it's.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
It's really is my happy place. What about you? That's beautiful.
I think there were two.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I mean, I really love Paris. I love Paris. I
think it's really special and beautiful. I don't know that I've.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Had a trip there that has felt like.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
There's always been something about the trips that I take there,
something funky. So I don't know if it's like I
need to go back, or if I need to free
myself from expectations of Paris.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
But I do love Paris very much.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
I think I've been really I built it up in
my mind for so long when I was a kid.
It was this like amazing, magical place. And then the
first time that I ever went there, I was in
my you know, thirties already, and I just was like
overwhelmed by it. You know, I don't think it's a
city that you can explore like that.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Our trip was that was your first time, right, yeah trip, Yeah,
that was my first time.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
It was really special and like, but the the thing
about Paris is that it always makes me look at
my life like it always makes me like I was
dating somebody that didn't want to go at the time,
and I had to convince them to journey with all
of us to Paris, and it was like what the pick?
And then the second time I went, I went with
(13:04):
a friend who really just wasn't a great traveling partner.
And then the last time that I went was I
was like, I'm gonna do Paris with the baby, and
so like we went after oh gosh, we went after
a really long job that I had in London and
then went to Paris with the baby and my sister
(13:26):
joined us, and it was like a hillscape. I mean,
it is a hellscape if you're trying to like see
that city with a child like that, they can't walk
with themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Right, But since Ros is a little older, I do
have a great Paris tip that I got from another
mom that I wanted to do with my boys at
some point, but now they've outgrown.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Like the playground.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yeah, so this mom went to Paris and every day
they picked a different playground to go to, and then
they just kind of centered their day around that, right
and went to stuff around it. And she said they
explored the whole city and every day it was a
different playground. So it was like exciting for her kid.
And she also like wore out some you know energy,
(14:07):
And I thought that was such a cool, fun way
to do a city with a small kid.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Yes, that's really smart. I think we Ross was still napping,
so we know.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
She was like itty bitty, like, I mean, now if
you went back, like if you went back at some
point in the next few years, like you still have
like probably yeah, if we I mean we're I go.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Back, I'm not going to take my kid, you know
what I was playing that you just want to go
and have like a romantic experience of it. Pars for
love of.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yes, okay, next question, I yeah, so I really love
pears uh okay. So this next one is from the
Style episode with our very own Ril Tunnel, who we
adore and love. She is both of our stylists. This
comes from Celeste. She said absolutely loved this episode. Ariel's
(15:03):
advice about shopping was so helpful and I literally felt
more better in my dress in my last dressing room
too all sizes and when something didn't fit I like
I had hoped, I totally thought, well, too bad for
that dress.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
Great advice, Thank you. Yes, we love that.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I also thought of that episode recently because I went
through some thrift stores here in Atlanta. In there's some
really cute thrift stores in the Old Fourth Ward for
those of you visiting Atlanta. And I also thought of
that episode because obviously thrifting and vintage, the sizes are
(15:40):
crazy crazy, They're all over the place. Oh and I
just took all different sizes and kind of eyeballed and
didn't like stress out about it. I found a great
pair of Levi jeans from the seventies that are super
high waisted and like I guess people waists were smaller
(16:01):
then because like the weight. Sometimes I have a problem
with something fitting over my butt and not my waist
because I'm a booty girl, and I'm like, oh my god,
did ladies in the seventies have like booties like, because
if it's really good on the booty, but then it's
like a cinched waist and I've never found jeans with
that wit.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I think it was just the fit.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Really, it was like slightly different on all of the pants,
you know, it's just like lightly different.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, I don't know, it's it's it's they're great and
they're soft, and like, yes, yeah, and they're real. De
just didn't And then there were some things I took
in the same size that like did not zip at all,
Like they were just so so small.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
And I was like, well, to bad for those pants.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, too bad for those Oh that's great. I'm so
glad that uh she felt that way. IG is also
demanding to see your pink pants from that episode.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
I did post them on my stories, so we'll try
to uh in the post. I don't know, maybe we
can highlight them on the more better pod. I'll try
to find the story or something, but I did do it.
I just paired them with like a simple little black
tank top I think cute, and I think I did.
I don't even remember if I did heels or like
(17:14):
sneakers and they looked were they like kind of long
or something? They were kind of long, so maybe it
was heels.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
Do you still own them? Did you get rid of them?
Speaker 4 (17:23):
No?
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I still have them, but I do plan to get
them tailored for sneakers because I feel like they look
cute with like white sneakers, nice, nice, and they need
to be a little shorter, like I don't want to
have to wear a heel every time.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, I just tailored, like I think. I paid like
forty bucks for three T shirts. But I took them
to the dry cleaner and I was like, they because
they're like, you know, they fit everywhere else, but they're
like so long that they're hitting the whitest part of
my hips. And then they like, I don't want to
wear them, so I took a T shirt shorter. Yeah,
I took a T shirt that fits me great and
(17:55):
hits in the right spot. It was forty bucks for
three T shirts to get them hemmed, and they look
oh god, I'm gonna do that because I always end
up just cutting them and then I do and I'm
just I'm just gonna work out in this now.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. No, they have like
a finish tim Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Yeah, because are we leaving our T shirts out or
are we tucking in?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
What do I think?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
It depends on the T shirt and the pair of
pants and also the belts. Okay, we can have this
discussion if you want. Y.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, if we're we're tucking in, we're using a belt.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Usually we're using a belt or like a pant that
lays like really flat. Because what I really to test
for myself is like you know, when you have so
now it's a fashion podcast.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
You know when you like when.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
You sit with a tucked T shirt in or a
tuck tucked T shirt especially, and then the waistband of
your pants starts to wrinkle up. Yeah, you know what
I'm talking about, Like the actual band of fabric, it
like starts to wrinkle and then it just looks bad.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Like to me, it looks bad on me. I don't
care why other people wear what I wear.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Whatever you want, but like that's a lot of times
we're all why I'll stick on a belt because I'm like, oh, well,
I want to tuck this shirt in, but I also
don't want to look at my wrinkled waistband.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Tips tips, we got them tips tips.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Or the work life balance episode got a reply from
Amanda on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
Oh, she's the one who sent in. She's the one
that sent in the voice note.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
She needed help with like balancing and balancing all the
things she said the way I was shaking all capital
letters when I saw this episode drop.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
She put the.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Capital letters, not me. I was the one who sent
the voice message. Thank you for talking about this, y'all
made me feel a lot better. I'm gonna keep this
episode on repeat. Such good nuggets of wisdom here, Bitch,
I can't remember what the fuck I said.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm glad it helped, because really, this is a podcast,
is like a stream of consciousness, like it's just word vomit.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
And then we tried you.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I feel like I did re listen to that episode
and thought to myself, bitch, you should do more of this.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
I'm practice what you catch.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
These are great tips and you don't always follow them.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
That's real, that's real. Okay, do you want to read
this next one.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Next one is oh pep talk question email from Julie. Hi,
Melissa and Stephanie. My name is Julie and I live
in Northern Ontario, Canada. I am emailing because I am Canada.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
What's so Canada? We still love you even though our
government doesn't, but we do.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Sorry fifty one, Yeah, sorry, I am emailing because I'm
sitting at home with a concussion right now. Oh, and
your podcast is so entertaining and I'm so glad you
made it because I can't watch Brooklyn nine nine or
any screens for another week. Last week, I was singing
at a red light on my way to work and
someone drove right into the back of my car. Now
(21:03):
I have whiplash and a concussion. I was wondering if
you guys could talk about how you deal with it
when bad shit just happens to you and there is
nothing you can do about it. Oh, Julie, that is
so relatable and like, I feel like we've all been there.
I tore my ACL once in my twenties, and I
was a struggling actor, and I tried to because you
(21:27):
don't like need your ACL to really function in life,
Like I know someone that like never got into me. Okay, yeah, yeah,
because it's only for when you plant your foot and
change direction, so like you would in tennis, or you
would in dancing, or you would probably doing like an
action scene. So I just didn't want to like be
(21:50):
out of auditions. So I was like, I'm going to
wait till maybe like a slower time of year to
do the surgery. But then I did a job where
I had to wear high heels, like a short job
where I had where I heels and like my knee
buckled ones, and it just was like not possible, and
I was like.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
Fuck, I have to do the surgery.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
So then it's a pretty intense surgery and you're basically
like like put out for like six weeks. I had
to wear a brace from like my hip all the
way down to my ankle. Your whole leg shuts down,
so like getting in and out of the I needed
help getting in and out of the shower or bath.
(22:30):
I had to sit in the bath because like literally
your muscles are shut down, like they can you wiggle
your toes or no, you can move, you can move
a little bit, and you can wiggle your toes but
you can't like put any weight on it until like
a few weeks of physical therapy and then things start
to wake back up. I remember I had one muscle
above my knee that like wouldn't wake up, and they
(22:51):
used to always put this little you know, those little
things that make your muscle pulse. They would put that
on in the physical therapy to like wake it back up. Whoa, yeah,
So it was scary.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
It was scary. It was really hard.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
So I my heart goes out to Julie because it
is the hardest thing.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
I think the fact that you are listening to podcasts
is like you're you know you are.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
You just have to like kind of make the best
of it. This is a great time to tell your friends, Hey,
I'm like laid out. If you have any time, like
come visit me for an hour and like, you know,
it's like you got to break up your day when
you can't like move around and so you know, uh,
(23:39):
once you get through your week of no screens, definitely
take you know, the opportunity to pick, you know, catch
up on some shows and movies, read a book. I
don't know how book is with you know, but it's
it's like you have to. I think the biggest thing
is you have to keep your head right. That's the
hardest part because it's really easy to like fall into
a deep depression to like want to show it to me,
(24:02):
why did this happen to me? You have to be
like kind of disciplined about you know. Obviously, like let
yourself have the fucking treats because you're going through it,
but like be conscious of what you're eating and putting
in your body because like all of it affects you,
you know. And I think that it's just keeping on
the motivation to keep your mind right. Yeah, and yeah,
(24:27):
it's like this is the time to like reach out
to your people for support.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Make sure you do go to physical therapy.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I remember when I went through my knee surgery. My
husband was so annoying about the importance of physical therapy
and he was like, you have to do your exercise
every day. And there was like this machine that would
like bend my leg and he was like, come on,
five more minutes, Like he was like a little like
a personal trainer.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
And I was like, you're so annoying. I want to
punch you in the face.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
But he was right, per usual it's really you. You
can't drop the ball on physical therapy, like you have
to do all the things, and you know, make sure
you do them when you're at home too. Just don't
just do them when you're at your sessions right right,
and know that this is temporary and this too shall
pass and you're just in the like worst part of it. Yeah, yeah,
(25:21):
but it happens.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
It sucks, and like it sucks. It's okay to acknowledge
that it sucks, and it's okay to have like a
good cry about it.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I mean, and yes, obviously we're talking about there's like
a there's a big scale of bad shit, and yeah,
this is in the grand scheme on the low end
of yeah, bad shit. A concussion is scary for sure,
and whiplash is really painful, but you will make it
(25:53):
through it. It's gonna be okay. It's only a week.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Also, you know, like a little digital detox for a
week isn't bad. People fucking pay a lot of money
to go do that shit. Put their things in a
little zippered bag, a La White lotus, you know what
I mean, Like, yeah, you it's gonna be okay, Julie, Okay,
You're gonna make it, Julie. This is from our self
(26:16):
care episode. Kristen wrote in, so this is very cute.
I just listened to the episode on self care and
at the end of it said to email in what
we do for self care? So I wanted to share.
I am in my mid forties, single and no kids.
I work in the veterinary field and work for eleven
hour shifts plus another eleven hour shift over time. Girl.
(26:40):
So when I have the time, I do like to
get my nails done and I like how Stephanie said,
I don't mind a long appointment. I always bring a
book to read when I get a pedicure. I also
horseback ride.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Oh dreamy.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
When I ride these horses, you are both just in
tune to each other and balanced together. It's this amazing
feeling that lasts for the rest of the day.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
One more thing I'm doing is me and my best
year going on a trip just us to Disney for Halloween.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Cute.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
We're going to be care free and go to the
Halloween party and dress up and trick or treat and
no spouse's husbands, kids or pets involved. And on my
commute to work, I just love to blast my music
and saying because I sound like Celine Dion in my
car alone. Yes, yeah, any time to be compress before
work and after work. I greatly enjoy listening to the
(27:27):
podcast and can't wait for more. Just for fun, I
added a picture of me.
Speaker 3 (27:31):
And my horse Patches.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Her horse Patches Patches.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
Horseback riding sounds like I'm very, very invested in the
idea of doing this myself this year. I really want
to take horseback writing lessons.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I just I've always.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Wanted to do it. I'm I don't know how to
go about it and do it. I really want to.
Speaker 6 (27:52):
You can.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
You can go to the Equestrian Center and Burbank. Oh
that's such a drive though for me, I need something,
Oh my.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
God, I know it's not it's whole, it's four.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I need something easty. I need something more easty. I'm sure,
but I do want to do easty. I do want
to do it. That's so cool, that's a really I
also really love that she does all these things for
herself while maintaining such an intense work schedule, so she
can find the time.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
And so can you, Yes, dear listeners, so can you?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
So can you I also love the girls trip. I
just had two childhood buddies visit me in Atlanta and
we had a girl's weekend and it was so restorative
for everyone involved, Like that's amazing, no kids, no husbands,
just as girls.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Like it was so fun. And we did a spa day.
It was great.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It was great, and I was like we were all saying, like, Oh,
we have to make this happen like more often, not
just you know, every five years.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Oh my god, that's so nice. I did.
Speaker 5 (28:54):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I haven't done one of those in a really long time.
But I did go to the mall in Arcadia with
one of my girlfriends. No kids, no husbands, nobody but us.
That mall, girl, I tell you what, that is the
best mall I have ever been to India a life.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
It is fantastic.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
It is it's like Korean skin care, just like delicious food.
Luxury shopping. But then there's also like not luxury shopping.
I mean I did not luxury shop. I was like
looking for those deals. I had a great there's a
dairy queen slash Orange Julius. I was in heaven. I
could have stayed there all back. Yeah, Okay, I get
(29:36):
it was fantastic. Next, also, I'll go in a girl's
trip with you. Oh, that would be fun. That'd be
really great for not work.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
We've only ever done them.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
For not work, for work where we're where we're not
doing a panel, I'll do a girls trip with you,
or we're not because we've actually been on so many
girls trips, so many, but.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
They're always like a panel, yeah or yeah, work related.
There's a picture Patches attached to the email. Let me
just see here. Oh my god, this is the dream horse.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
This is the dream really looking at the camera. He's
a modeling. He's a super modeling. He is Oh my god,
it's a supermodel. This is rude. I love this horse.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Okay, all right, all right, I guess I need to
learn how to ride horses.
Speaker 3 (30:27):
Okay? Do I love that idea for you? Don't put
that sign in there?
Speaker 1 (30:30):
Why am I telling everybody to edit everything out this episode?
Speaker 3 (30:34):
Don't edit it out?
Speaker 1 (30:34):
That's real, my sigh of despair and delight over this horse. Patches,
who I'll probably never meet, who have calls him my soul.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Okay, next question, Next.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Question is that's in life listener Emma email?
Speaker 3 (30:54):
Okay, Oh, it's a voice note.
Speaker 6 (30:56):
Hi, Stephanie and Melissa. First of all, I adore your podcast.
It makes my day so much brighter. When I listened
to it, I was just wondering, what's your take on pets.
I recently got two more cats and I had to
bottle feed them, so I was waking up every two hours,
and that's when I primarily listened to your podcast. So
their names are Beatrice and for Marrow. But I was
(31:16):
just wondering how you deal with your pets and your
busy lives. So, yeah, how a great day?
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Buye that was so cute? Like good she loved her cat.
You can't believe me, do so cut? Okay, Emma, that's
really sweet.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I have a dog.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
His name is Guda. He is so sweet and a
real pain in the ass. He he was really used
to being the only little little creature and then Roz
came along, My child came along, and he was not
having it. He is much more resigned to the fact
(31:55):
that there is a child here now, I would say,
but he's not. He's still like very uncomfortable around her,
Like he doesn't really like he'll sit still for pets.
Sometimes if Brad and I make a big deal over
something Roz is doing.
Speaker 3 (32:08):
Guda will get in the mix and try to like
he gets really jealous. He's my god. He's yes, he's
very god.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
So I the way that I make time for him
is like I really try early in the morning to
walk him by myself or spend time. If I don't
have enough time to walk him that morning, I spend
time with him by myself, like if I'm answering emails
or something like he's sitting on my lap and I'm
petting him, like just me and him, you know. And
(32:39):
the other thing is like sometimes I feel like with
older dogs they can.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Become a part of the furniture a.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Little bit because they're just laying around a lot of
the time because it's.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Uncomfortable for them to move.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
He's not that old, but I try to pet him
every time that I pass by, like or I try
to acknowledge him every time that I pass by, like
I see you, buddy, you're being a good boy, or whatever,
you know, because like with my last dog, who I
adufted when he was an old old man, you just
don't know how much time you have with the older ones.
(33:12):
And like period, honestly, like with animals, like they can't
tell you when shit is fucked up. You don't know
how much time you have. Yeah, you know, it's like
you just gotta squeeze them and hug them and love them.
And it sounds like you're already doing that by you know,
bottle feeding them every two hours like you do a
baby when they're new.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
Yeah, and I've I've I've found with pets it's a
little bit like kids where it's like quality over quantity,
you know, like if.
Speaker 3 (33:40):
I also, I also have a dog. She's a big dog.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
She's two years old, so still like a little bit
puppyish sometimes, so she requires, like, you know, she has
to be walked, and she has to like get her
energy out every day, which we're pretty good about doing.
But when it's a spend busy and I can tell
(34:04):
that she's you know, been neglected all day, it's like
I'll just take her outside for twenty minute and just
like I'll set a timer and I'll be like twenty minutes,
I'm gonna I'm gonna throw a ball, I'm gonna tug
a rope, I'm gonna like try to get your wigglies out.
She'll do some zoomies and then that that's like, you know,
and then I'll give her like lots of hugs and
(34:25):
cuddles after that, and like.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
That seems to be Oh my god, I just the
little cat picture just of her cat just popped up
on our.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Outline and it's a little baby black kitten and it's
so cute, so tiny.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Oh all her cats are black.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Oh my god, kids, these kins are freaking cute.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Broh.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yeah, and then you had to bottle feet. I mean
that's like having a newborn man. Like you just got
to get through it. You gotta do the bare minimum, uh,
until they get a little bigger.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
And then yeah, like if you get.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Really busy and you feel like you, you know, just
get out some toys, set a timer, like whatever time
you have and.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
Then do that.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
I feel like cats at least, you know, you don't
have to walk them. You'll have to take them outside.
So but yeah, it's it is tough.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Oh my god, they're so cute. They're really cute. This
is rude.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
We're gonna post this picture of the cat trying to
figure out how to eat out of a bowl because
it's so funny.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Oh, it's got Lottle.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
And then at least for me, like having having a
dog is like before we got the dog, I was like, okay, uh,
we have to know who's gonna take care of the
dog when we have to go out of town or
you know, and so like we made sure to have
those things in place too.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
The responsibilities are big, I think big.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
I forget that I ever tell you one time this
is tea, but one time I was at a job
and I overheard someone. I overheard someone talking about how
while they were just gonna have to give the dog
back to the shelter because it just was not listening
and this and that or whatever, and like I was
sitting there and like, listen, sometimes you do have to
(36:11):
rehome pets, like if you've really really tried all the things.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
But I do, I really.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
Strongly believe that, like there's not a world in which
I would have rehomed Gouda unless he like he hurt ras,
you know, like and even if he accidentally hurt her
or she got in his space and like he bit
her or something like, I would hope that we would
try to work with him. Obviously, that's my own situation,
(36:40):
and my dog is ten pounds. It's different than a
you know, fifty pound animal. Yeah, but I mean I
think you getting a dog looks fun. It always looks
so sweet in the movies, you know. But like cats
are a lot of work, dogs are a lot of work.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Birds are a lot of work.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
The fucking birds lived for like forty years. Like, be
real with yourself about how much yes, I can, I can.
I can't imagine it, Okay, next one subject, Thank you
for the heartbreak episode, Dear Stephanie, Melissa and the More
Better Team. I was listening to your episode about heartbreak
(37:19):
and it made me cry in a good way, the
kind of cry that you've been needing to have but
you just don't have time.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Or emotional space. Tell me about it. I love those cries.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Over the past three years, I've gone through a lot
of change. I moved to a new state to go
to law school after nine years in a totally different career. Wow,
so many things have started and go ahead, dang and
ended in that short time. And while I'm super proud
of myself, most of those things have been good. Every
now and then I felt really sad and I couldn't
put my finger on why your episode made me realize
some of what I was feeling was heartbreak. Even though
(37:49):
wonderful things started in those three years, a lot of
things ended. I don't think I took the time I
needed to recognize that and more than the things I've
lost for the changes I'd undergone, the past three years
have been go, go, go, and you gave me thirty
mone and it's to stop reflect and feel all the
things I'm gonna I'm gonna cry that I had put
to the side as I was trying to keep up
with everything. Thank you for giving me that chance. I
(38:09):
definitely feel more better. Sincerely, Rebecca, Rebecca, how dare you.
Speaker 3 (38:13):
Make me cry? Becca gos Nic.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
That is really really sometimes you just need because that's
the thing, right sometimes when you can name it where
you can put a name to it and it can.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
Just like help you process it.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
And the fact that that episode helped you do that
is huge. It makes me feel so touched and thank
you for that, you know what, Rebecca, Fuck you for
making me tear up. Okay, Next, this is actually a
(39:02):
question listener question and there's a voice note, so let's
listen to it.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
The subject is setting boundaries. Hi, Stephanie and Melissa le
Ninus Lupet. I live in Los Angeles and I have
loved your podcast. Thank you for what you both do.
I'm curious about your thoughts on setting boundaries, whether it's
in life or with loved ones or at work. I'm Latina,
(39:28):
and I think for Latinas and basically all people of
color or anyone that is part of a marginalized group,
it can sometimes feel difficult to set boundaries due to
perhaps a combination of cultural expectations, systemic pressures, and or.
Speaker 5 (39:51):
Basically just how we were raised. I think it was
a few podcasts episodes ago where you both touched on
code switching how we can sometimes feel like we have
to suppress parts of ourselves in order to fit into
certain environments, and it made me think about boundaries and
how difficult it can be setting boundaries and environments like that,
(40:13):
and it basically leads to perhaps us not always advocating
for ourselves and just makes it even more challenging. Curious
about your thoughts. Love you both and really appreciate your perspective.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
That's first of all, is Lupa teaching a class? Can
I take it like? She sounds so smart?
Speaker 1 (40:34):
I know Jesus so well spoken and you should be
our podcast. Yeah yeah, I think, like, yeah, I mean
it is all those things, right, Like, I think, especially
for groups that are marginalized in any kind of way,
shape or form, it becomes this most strange mix of
I know what I need, but I'm not sure I'm
(40:55):
safe enough to ask for it at all times. Right.
I feel like for many people in this world's straight
wide dudes, like they there's a safety at all times
and I'm going to ask for what I need.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
But for groups that are marginalized.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
It can be like I actually don't know if I'm
safe to ask for what I need or to create
the boundary because I don't know if I'm going to
lose my job. I don't know if I'm going to
be seen as a bitch. I don't know if I'm
going to be you know, I don't know if I'm
going to lose out on further opportunities because I was,
I mean hard to work with, you know, I don't know.
(41:36):
It depends on the situation, right, but I think, Uh,
the thing that I try to remember is that everybody
around me is human, and I try to sort of
like scale.
Speaker 5 (41:52):
Like.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
How important is this boundary? Is it?
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Is it like a physical boundary of like, oh, don't
touch me like that, you know?
Speaker 3 (42:02):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Is it with my employer sort of saying like, hey,
we need you to work on a Saturday, and I
have a my kid's birthday parties planned for that Saturday,
and I can say, I can say I can't.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
I can't. I can't work on that Saturday.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
I understand that it's going to put us behind, but
I just I mean, contractually, if you obligate me to
be there, I will show up, but I.
Speaker 3 (42:25):
Can't work on that day, you know.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
I mean I remember when my dad was dying, and
like I showed up to work every day, and I
maybe shouldn't have those that the last day.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
I probably shouldn't have.
Speaker 1 (42:37):
Yeah, I probably should stay home with my dad, you know,
because like he was gone three days later, and you know,
I probably shouldn't have or I should have Maybe I
should have. I mean I shouldn't should all over myself,
which is what my friend Lina says, but don't should
all over yourself.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
But I wish I could have said.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Actually, my needs in this moment are that I have
less hours in this last week because my father is.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
Dying, you know.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Now that's different than a boundary necessarily, but it's similar.
I think, what do you think? Also, I know it's hard.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
I think especially like women in general, but particularly Latino women,
I feel like it is kind of ingrained in our
culture and the way we grow up of like we
do everything, we take care of everyone, and we don't complain,
and like we're built for that, you know, these all
these like made up expectations. Yeah, and it can be
really really hard, and it's something I struggle with. I
(43:38):
think part of it is I think what I have
gotten more better at is like saying no. I feel
like I'm so sorry, but no, like I can't or
that's not going to work. You know, Is there another
solution we can come to? Is there another compromise we
can figure out?
Speaker 3 (43:53):
You know?
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Always like trying for me, like setting a boundary a
lot of times I don't know if this is good
or bad includes some type of collaboration follow up, you know,
like a better solution, like can we you know, is
there something else we can work out? You know, because
I find sometimes if I'm bringing the other person into it,
(44:14):
they're more likely to like respect my boundary.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Because how can we collaborate with shutting them off?
Speaker 2 (44:20):
How can we collaborate on like a different solution or
something else that works for me and you because this doesn't.
Speaker 3 (44:27):
I think that's great. Yeah, I think there's like a.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
I feel like setting boundaries is also like somewhat newer
in our society, do.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Like in general, like in general of like talking about it,
like I don't feel like it's normalized yet, do you.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Know what I mean? So I feel like for people
that aren't.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
Men, Yes, I'm pretty sure set boundaries a full time
since time, you know what I mean, like the for
the the rest of us, for the rest of us,
like a work in progress for the best.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
So I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
I think I'm always like on guard of like people
can get really defensive when you're trying to set a boundary.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
So I think that's why I do the collaboration thing.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
Is just like I find I you know, there have
been times where I just be like no, and then
that person sure like defense goes up and they get
insulted or whatever, and and then I have another problem
I have to deal with. But yeah, so I've sort
of started doing that is but yeah, it is hard.
(45:35):
It is hard, and I and I myself have to
constantly remind myself that like.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I'm like
better at you know.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
I mean, I am better at like a lot of things,
but like doesn't mean that my you know, my gender
or my DNA makes me like naturally better at things.
I'm just doing them because no one else is, you know.
And yeah, and so you know, it is it is hard,
(46:04):
but then it always feels great when I do it,
And that's the part I try to remember that.
Speaker 3 (46:09):
I always feel stronger and more empowered, and so.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
I try to like hold on to that when I'm
about to try to have that conversation.
Speaker 1 (46:18):
Yeah, I think some sometimes it is. Sometimes it's worthwhile
to have a collaborative conversation about it. Sometimes it's it's
guess in check a lot of times, like what what
what would happen if I just said no? You know what,
what does happen if I just said no?
Speaker 3 (46:36):
That doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Right, because you build it up in our heads and
we say no, and the people and the others and go,
oh okay, yeah, and it was no medal, and.
Speaker 3 (46:46):
You're like, fuck, man, I should say no more.
Speaker 1 (46:48):
I wish that everybody was starting with the same baseline
of kindness, politeness, thoughtfulness, and the reality is that nobody
is starting with the same baseline. Most of the time,
you find people that are similar to you, and you
(47:08):
become friends with those people because that feels good. But
the reality is that we're all in a big old
mix with people that you know, some people haven't had
a kind word given to them their entire lives, and
so our real true pieces of shit to work with,
you know, or like be around, and it's hard. That's hard,
(47:30):
and then other people just don't know how to have
like delivery that always sounds great to somebody else's ear.
Speaker 5 (47:36):
You know.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
I remember being friends with this kid who in high
school he just like had no boundaries and it was
so difficult to like get him to understand like bro,
and like subsequently he didn't have a lot of friends
outside like the theater group because like he just had
no boundaries, like with you know, he just couldn't like
(47:57):
quote unquote read signs. But like turns out he was
sort of I think today he would probably be described
as autistic and like couldn't really would absolutely respect the
sign like or respect a boundary. If given a specific
boundary like I don't feel comfortable when you put your
arm around me when we're hanging out in a group,
you'd be like okay, and like wouldn't even feel like,
(48:19):
oh sorry, did I do something wrong? Would just be like, oh, okay,
I won't do that anymore, you know. And it was
as easy as that, right. Yeah, he couldn't necessarily read
signs that you didn't like it, but once you told
him what your boundary was, he respected.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
It always and forever. It was a really.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Interesting lesson and like, oh yeah, sometimes you just got
to come out, come right out and say it without
beating around the bush and trying to be polite.
Speaker 3 (48:43):
And other times you have to use kid globes to
handle people, so lopout. What we're saying is we don't
want the answer. Sorry, it's hard. Sorry, thanks slooping for
the ways.
Speaker 2 (48:57):
That's a good question, really solid air.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
I hope we kind of sort of tackled some of it. Yeah, okay, so.
Speaker 5 (49:07):
More better.
Speaker 3 (49:10):
Okay, So what have we learned today?
Speaker 1 (49:12):
I learned that I really love horses, particularly Patches, who
I feel is maybe maybe a prototype for the horse,
maybe I'll get to ride someday if I take these lessons.
I'm not going to Burbank, but maybe I'll take horses
right back riding lessons and indulge myself in some more
(49:33):
uh self care that.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Maybe I didn't realize that I needed.
Speaker 2 (49:39):
Yeah, get that horse joy in your life, girl. Yeah, girl,
I have been watercolor painting more.
Speaker 1 (49:44):
I just like bought a big thing you want to see?
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Yeah, I don't want to see your watercolor.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Oh, Stephanie, that's so pretty. Oh my goodness, I love
and I would like a water color. I would like
a Stephanie Beatrice water color in my house. So can
you please make so let us know everybody if you.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
Guys want, original's going to be opening her Etsy art.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
She's gonna be opening her Etsy store any day now.
Speaker 3 (50:16):
No, thank you? What about you? Would you?
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Would you come away with this this session?
Speaker 3 (50:22):
Oh gosh. I came away with.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Relief that what I have felt has just been us
fucking bullshitting has actually made some people happy and meant
something to people, which was always the goal.
Speaker 3 (50:39):
And so I.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
Feel really proud and mostly relief of oh, thank god
we pulled it off. And yeah, and I also learned
that I got to work on my boundaries, my boundaries,
because the way I broke out into a sweat while
we were talking about them men was a big old
(51:02):
clue that.
Speaker 3 (51:03):
I don't think I've been nailing it. Only I've been
nailing it. You probably that's always a work in progress. Yeah,
that's what it is. It's a work in progress.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
And it feels like I feel like it's something that
evolves too, like as you get older and you know,
and it's something that you're always having to kind of reevaluate.
Like I know very few people that are like so
good at setting boundaries.
Speaker 3 (51:23):
They are all white men and like maybe a couple
of women.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yeah, but it's just like super powerful people usually are.
Speaker 2 (51:31):
Pretty damn powerful people are really good at it, that is. Yeah,
those are those are good kind of people to look
to of like how they do it sometimes if they
do it in like a kind healthy way.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
But yeah, but it was it was great. It was
great to like go through all of these It was fun.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
Yeah, it was a nice hearing from you guys.
Speaker 1 (51:48):
Join us next week for finale, our season finale with
more listener emails.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
Okay, bye bye, bye bye, you guys.
Speaker 1 (52:01):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want us to talk about in your
future episode.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (52:09):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured.
Speaker 3 (52:15):
On the pod.
Speaker 1 (52:16):
Ooh, More Better with Daphanie Melissa is a production from
wvsound and iHeartMedia's Mikultura podcast network, hosted by me Steffie
Diatriz and Melissa Kumara. More Better is produced by Isis
Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zagos. Our executive producers are Wilmer
Valderrama and Leo Klem at wvsound. This episode was edited
by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features
(52:38):
original music by Madison Devenport and Heylo Boy. Our cover
art is by Vincent Remys and photography by David Avalos.
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
You listen to your favorite shows. See you next week,
Bye
Speaker 1 (53:01):
On no Pokitomas Mahor
Hosts And Creators
Stephanie Beatriz
Melissa Fumero
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