“Un Poquito Más Mejor” | Listener Extravaganza Two Part Finale Bonanza

Well, this is it. For the past 40 episodes we’ve gathered here wherever you listen to podcasts to laugh, to cry, and to become un poquito más mejor. On the season one finale of More Better, Stephanie and Melissa continue the Listener Mailbag Extravaganza Bonanza. In celebration of you, our lovely listeners and community, Steph and Mel are once again reading your messages, listening to your cutie little voice notes and answering some rapid-fire questions. There may be tears. And farts jokes. Okay. See you later. Byeeeeeee!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is it.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
You only get one round of this at least in
this body, you know, like, yeah, man, how do I
do this life?

Speaker 1 (00:07):
A little bit? Like better?

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Easier, softer, funner, funnier, whatever it is that week that
you're focusing on, right, And I do think like, oh
my god, am I getta get my period? Like why
am I like on the verge of crying again?

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Annoying?

Speaker 2 (00:22):
But like I do, I don't know what you're putting
me on the verge?

Speaker 1 (00:27):
More better, more and better A little bit more better, more.
Welcome to more Better a podcast where we stop pretending
to have it all together and embrace the journey of

(00:47):
becoming a little more better every day, or at least
trying to. That's most promarow and that is Sephanie Beatrice
and Welcome Well More a Better Podcast. Final episode.

Speaker 2 (01:01):
Podcasts have seasons now, and in this season, this is
our last one.

Speaker 1 (01:06):
Anyway, how are you, Melissa, I'm doing I'm doing good.
I'm doing good. I'm you know, thinking about how we've
done a whole season of this and it's been really fun.
I've enjoyed uh selfishly for me, it's been really great
for me to get to see you and hear your
voice and see your face and get friend time, especially

(01:27):
while I've been in Atlanta being isolated and like living
in my little show bubble, and like, at least I
get to see Stephanie in Toronto. That's how I was
in Toronto.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I was like, well, I get some time to like
talk to Melissa today, which is nice.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
You know, like I agree, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And
I feel like I've gotten to like know you a
little more better. It seems like been a nice little
added bonus to this.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
I mean, I knowed pretty well beforehand, though I knew
everything about you, and there have been some surprises.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
There were let me see if there were any surprises
for me.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Actually, I think, you know, not to bring it back
to the drunk drawer, but I do think the junk drawer.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Was a surprise.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
I think that was a deep surprise for me. I
was like, oh, no.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
Same a revelation. It was. I was like, oh, we
haven't strongly disagreed about something. It truly felt like I
was like, Wow, I've seen into something inside her deep
dark like secret place, and I don't like it. It's
not organized and I want to empty it out and
help her. But I would never I would never do

(02:42):
that to you. I mean, I think we just have
keep different definitions of organization.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
I think you're right, and it's it's there's room for
everyone more better. Today's episode is very very special because
it is the final episode of season one Bibitty Boot
Boot Boop. We've done a lot of episodes, uh, I think,
like in terms of the actual pod though, I think

(03:13):
my favorite episode episode was probably the one that we
did with Ril when we.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Had I loved that one.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, I really like that one. And I've used tip
like she remembers how she was like, you should keep
a measuring tape in your person. That way, when you're
vintage shopping, you can thrift shopping or whatever or take
your actual measurements with a little measuring tape and then
you know if something's going to fit you or not
and you can order offline. I ordered two pairs of

(03:43):
vintage genes for myself for my birthday based on measurement alone,
and they were both two totally different sizes, same brand.
They were like vintage Levi's, same brand, two totally different sizes.
Both of them feit like the glove was. I still
think about that all the time carry the I carry
the tape measure in my person.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
Yeah. I loved that one. There were so many good tips. Yeah.
I really loved the wine episode we did because that
was great. It was so great, It was so fun
and I did feel smart. Yeah, I did feel smart
during it. I was I was like, well, I'm I'm

(04:27):
more wine smart than I thought I was. But she
gave really great tips, particularly about like shopping for wine,
and also we found out what wine goes with hot cheetos,
and that is just information everyone should have for the
rest of their life. I don't remember what it was now,
but I have that episode that I go back and
have to listen to that episode and find that part.

(04:50):
Oh wait, you know what. I did love listeners. Thank you.
I want to take a moment to say thank you
for all the EDM remixes of me saying Zato a schism,
because they made my fucking day and I was really happy.
And wait, we're just gonna uh, We're just gonna pause
the pod for a second to play some of them.

(05:17):
Sato masochism, Sato wow. Great, thank you so much, thank
you for indulging me. Thank you. Wow. Uh I let's

(05:42):
see what else. Today.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Oh I really loved the I mean, this is absolutely selfish,
but I loved the episode where we talked. This is
very recent when we talked about reality television.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Oh yeah, I love reality TV. It just really makes
me so well. I learned of more reality TV than
I than you thought I did. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
So to celebrate the end of the season, we are
dedicating the last two episodes to you. If you listen
to the one before this, you heard a lot of
listener letters and some questions, and thank you again for
your emails and your positive reviews, positive reviews, and for
following on Instagram and TikTok and all the things. So

(06:26):
we are continuing today with our listener mail bag extrava
Ganzo Banonza from the last episode. We're going to answer
some questions and read some emails. So let's see. This
is an email from Grace him. My name's Grace, and
I've recently started listening to your pod. Absolutely adore. It
makes me feel so human in who I am and
my life. That's really sweet. I should keep the commentary

(06:48):
to myself. Okay, You've taught me so much on so
many different topics, and I feel a lot more better
knowing than other people go through similar experiences that I have.
You to have a knack for making everyone feel more
better just by talking about your experiences. I just finished
listening episode the episode I have a lot of power
in my group chats, and it sparked an idea. Recently,
especially after the election inauguration, I felt a little bit
of despair and anxiety over what the future behold, especially

(07:11):
in the United States. I was wondering if you too
could discuss how to handle these big feelings when everything
feels like it's changing. I'd love to know your perspectives
and thoughts.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Oh, I mean to keep it on a listen. This
could get really dark really fast.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
To try to keep it in a place of what
we can do moving forward, I think is to keep
talking about the stuff with friends, to keep being who
you are openly and publicly and not Nava Mao said
this the other day at the glad Awards that I
was lucky enough to attend. She said, don't silence yourself

(07:56):
before they silence you. Don't do it for them, And
I thought.

Speaker 1 (07:59):
That was such a beautiful way to express how like
just by being yourself, living your truth and being who
you are and talking about the things that you believe in,
whether it's you know, whether it's things like.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Your political position or who you are in this world,
or the groups that you might represent. I think being
open about those things and trying to also mesh those
things with the loving kindness that everybody has access to,
not saying that everybody uses it, that everybody has access

(08:37):
to a loving kindness in their hearts. Meshing those things
together is the only way that we're going to be
able to keep a positive like mindset moving forward and
not again allow ourselves to be pushed into a place
where we feel like we have to be silent before

(09:01):
where we feel like we have to be silent period.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, yeah, one hundred percent. And I you know, I
find when I'm feeling really overwhelmed and powerless like that,
you know, And I think I feel like Elsa even
talked about it in these uh in this episode of
this of the podcast, like kind of what you were

(09:25):
saying too. Just now just like doing things, you know
what I mean, Whether like I've ano Sophia Robb who's
on the show with me, and I'll find out the
name of it. But there is like an app that
can quickly show you like all the phone numbers of
your representatives or like representatives in a plate, you know,

(09:45):
and it takes like fifteen minutes to just like make
some calls and read a script of like hey, my
name is Da Da Da, and I care about this
and I want you to vote this way or whatever.
And just taking those fifteen minutes sometimes to make your
voice hurt can just feel good because I think that
we feel really powerless as citizens and at the mercy,

(10:09):
but we have to remember that, like, you know, we voted,
those people were voted in, like, so it's important to
show up to the polls. It's important to call reps.
It's important to like do those little actionable things because
they do work for us at the end of the day.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
It's important to continue paying attention because like maybe maybe
you were promised things.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
And it's important to continue paying attention. Like yes, we
all need to like protect our peace and like yeah,
yeah sure, and like take breaks, but like yeah yeah, also,
but don't live in oblivion, right, like don't like don't
kid yourself because it's there no matter what.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
And like also the attention if if if you did,
you know, vote for the powers that are in office
right now.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Pay attention.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Are are you being given what you were promised?

Speaker 1 (11:03):
Are you? Is it actually getting better for you? Have
your grocery prices come down? Him?

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Or is it like maybe uh smells a little bit
like a oligarchy a little bit.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
You know, like maybe many people.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
That have tons of money shouldn't be allowed to, like
I don't know, uh, storm government offices and do whatever
they want.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
I don't think so. Yeah, policy for for middle class
and lower class family, Yeah, you know. And like when
I have never been one, I get it.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
It's a very uh, it's very easy to sort of
look in the opposite direction and go like, oh, well
it's gonna be fine or whatever.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
But you know, just pay attention, more better, more better.
Next next, let's say into the next question segway into
an email from Alice. Hello, Stephanie and Melissa. I would

(12:07):
just like to share that I'm a huge fan of
the podcast. I find you both so insightful, relatable and hilarious.
Thank you. That's many thanks to the producers and everyone
behind the scenes who I'm sure helped make it all
happen as well. Yes you do, yeah, Leo, Sophia and
Isis We love you our free producers who are amazing.

(12:27):
I am currently a twenty one year old English student
and would love all caps to hear your thoughts on
getting through your twenties. I don't know. It can be
a difficult time for a lot of people and could
be useful to hear two successful women talk about how
tumultuous and rewarding it can be. Looking forward to listening

(12:47):
to whatever you guys come up with, and maybe even
getting a little more better at this life business. Oh
my kindest regards, Alice. What. First of all, your email
is very eloquent, Alice, So I feel like you are
gonna be just fine. I kind of no. Yeah, twenties
is such an interesting decade because I was about to

(13:10):
be like, oh, I loved my twenties, and then I remembered,
like the back half of it was truly awful, and
I considered quitting acting, and I was struggling so hard,
and I was like, Eh, that's so hard. But in
hindsight's I was twenty twenty, right, so I didn't have
kids yet, I wasn't married yet for the first half

(13:31):
of my twenties, and I think I only bring that
up in the spirit of my one regret about my
twenties is that I didn't try my shit. One well regret,
my one biggest okay, now my one, my biggest, my

(13:52):
biggest regret is that I didn't try more to do
more shit. Sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, Also to try more stuff.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you didn't try You didn't try more,
try more stuff.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
I wish I would have, like taken some writing classes.
I wish I would have like I almost took a
photography class once and then bailed and like didn't do
it for like stupid reasons. I did learn how to cook,
and I am always thanking my younger self for doing that.
Like when I wasn't working, I was like, I'm gonna

(14:30):
really learn how to cook, and I'm gonna this is
where I'm gonna put oh my like frustrated energy. And
I kind of wish I had done that with some
other skills because then when I did finally get closer
to a place that I wanted to be in my
career in my thirties, and then I had kids and

(14:51):
like everything got so fucking busy and then you just
don't have time for that. Yeah you know what I mean.
So I feel like your twenties is like a time
to try as many many things as you can. Don't
judge the journey, like there's no deadlines, there's no timeline
for when you are Like I think you do feel
that so much in your twenties, and then you go

(15:12):
along and you're like, oh, that was so made up,
like there was no If you find success in like
greatness in your twenties, you're I don't know, like the
point five percent, you know, Like I think it's a
time of discovery. I think it's a time of uh,
like discovering yourself and what you want, but also just

(15:33):
like trying to expose yourself to it. I think I
wish I had traveled a little more in my twenties,
even if it was like, you know, not necessarily had
to be like big extravagant things like just gone more places,
you know, And I wish I would have been a
little braver like with friendships and like creating new ones.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
Oh that sends yeah, I mean sad.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
But now I feel like I'm just I feel like
I'm just going through like a laundry list of my
regrets in my twenties. But I think that's what everybody,
but I think that back. I think everyone does that.
But like, I think I put so much pressure on
myself in my twenties and while that may have at
times made me work hard, which I also think, like

(16:24):
your twenties is your time to freaking like work hard,
like and jack and go after shit and be as
ambitious as you can, and like you're never going to
have this level of energy and stamina and like you
know what I mean, like it will that shit will
only get harder as you get older, so like utilize

(16:46):
your youth to grind so that hopefully you don't have
to grind as hard in your thirties and forties, you know.
But yeah, and I think just like explore more and like,
don't be afraid to try shit, and you know, expose
yourself to different things, see if you like it, you know,

(17:08):
pick up some new skills, like just keep learning, like
you're a student right now, Alice, don't lose the like student,
I think spirit, you know. So I think your your
twenties should be more of that, like more exploring and
figuring out what you like and what you don't like
and acquiring and acquiring fucking skills. Man, learn how to sew,

(17:30):
learn how to cook learn your older self.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
Well, thank you, you know, it's a very responsible advice.
I feel like I, yes, how you give the other
side absolutely fucked more people, which I had, sorry in
advance of listening to this with your children, but I
do I wish I had fuck more people because like,
and I'm not saying like in a dangerous way, like

(17:55):
you know, in the safe you know, save sex and
in an emotionally safe way, but.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Like I think I was raised. I was raised so Catholic.
I was raised so like you.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Can't dun't And you're like, was he gonna buy the
town and he could get the milk for free?

Speaker 1 (18:13):
And like what does that even mean?

Speaker 2 (18:15):
Like first of all, I said, even fucking yeah, I
mean I know what it means, but like gross, you know,
Like and I wish I had just like not you know,
I was constantly sort of like searching for this idea
of like, oh, you gotta have like a partner. You
got you want to like have a like a partner,
And it's like why whatfore? Like I was great, I
didn't end up with any of those people that I've
dated in my twenties anyway, I mean you did, But

(18:36):
like I didn't, and I wish I had allowed myself
the freedom to party sober.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
I wish I had not depended so much, leaned so
heavily on. I'm like, I gotta get loose.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
I gotta have some alcohol, because like that's not safe, right,
Like just yeah, you know, like being in party situation
with alcohol in your system, it.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Can it can lead to like people.

Speaker 2 (19:05):
Making choices that aren't always great. I mean, listen, people
get drugged in their diadector peppers.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, like.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
I wish personally I had allowed myself the dare of
like can I go to this party and stay sober
and like see if I actually like any of these people.
Can I go to this lom and go dancing and
like just let myself have all my life and feel
sexy and have fun and like meet people and not

(19:33):
have like wait what did I say? And like what
did she look like? And you know, like not in
my brain, it's just like I just went and met
people and had a good time.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
You know.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
I wish I had. I mean a lot of my
twenties financially was just trying to survive. I mean, I
was just Sureryan to survive for so much of.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
My twenties money. That's like another good one I think
for your twenties is like figure out how to budget,
figure struggle do that ship now because hopefully it will
never be as hard as it is in your twenties,
but it might. But if you can figure that but
it might be hopefully it won't. But if you can

(20:13):
figure that ship out, how to budget, how to stretch
a dollar, how to you know, make it work and
be really on top of your finances.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
You don't need all the old self you think you need,
like you need not shit, Like you don't need all
that like no bullshit skincare that you're buying, or like
clothes or like the luxury whatever boop dooop, you know,
like you don't need. Like if you want it, save
up for that ship, save for it, absolutely save for it.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
I'm couragey to save for it.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yes, I remember overdrawing my account all the freaking time
because I was out partying and drinking.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
It was like what are you doing? Like what is
the point of this? You know, like what is the point?
Because that can have fun?

Speaker 2 (20:58):
It's like, no, you could probably have that fun sober
you just don't even know if you can or not
because you're so.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
Wasted, right, And I love it. I love the way
you phrase that of like challenging myself to see if
I could do this and what the experience would be,
because yeah, I don't think that I ever like even
occurred to me in my twenties, Like I mean, yeah,
and I think there's a few like twenty seven year
olds in my life and they have no idea how

(21:23):
how much they're spending. And I'm always like, right, write
it down five, there's not there's definitely an app, but
there's multiple apps. Bit for a month, for one month,
write down be like so annoying if you have to
carry around a notebook witch like savior receipts, like write

(21:45):
down every single day how much you spend, and I
promise you'll be shocked.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
I promise you, and then you'll see you'll be Yeah,
that's areas where.

Speaker 1 (21:55):
You could do it. That's that's part of why they
don't want to do because they know, yeah, in the
back of the brain there like I'm spending too much
money on weed, Like they know, they know.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
But if you want to get real and you really
want to enjoy this, time, which, like you said, look,
I'm not an advocate for like being sober all the time,
not necessarily if that, if you want to cool, you
also will never recover from hangovers the way that you
did in your twenties. So enjoy, enjoy the time because oh.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Fuck yeah yeah yeah, yeah, you're not here, take advantage
of that shit. Yeah you're not special, You're not You're not.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
It's not going to be like, well, I don't really
get hungover, so I guess that'll just continue into my
thirties and forties. No, babe, that was me. I was like, no, no,
really get hungover, like it's not a problem for me.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
No, boom boom, No, the day of your thirtieth birthday
and you will have your first hangover. It will change,
It changes overnight, overnight.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
The money thing is such a big deal, right, Like
I you know, I was surviving, but part of why
I was surviving was because at a certain point I
remember this so so so clearly. And I don't know
if I've talked about on the pod before, but I
remember being like short two hundred dollars for rent or something,

(23:08):
and I called my mom and I was like, I
need two hundred dollars, like I'm not going to make
rent this.

Speaker 1 (23:13):
Month, like I'm I'm I'm fucked, and my mom was like,
I would give it to if we had it.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
We don't have it, Stephanie, like, we don't have an
extra two hundred dollars. And that's when it really dropped
for me that I was like, oh, I have no
safety net. I have none. I there's nowhere to go
to find this extra. I don't have a family that
has even two hundred dollars, which, like you know, might

(23:39):
not sound like a lot to a lot of people,
but at the time for me, it was the difference
between like getting kicked out of my worst a lot, yeah,
and my family didn't have to give me.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
I have a question about this moment. Do you feel
as scary? And I'm sure also you know, I have
to process that moment was that you did realizing you
had no safety net? Did you also feel like that
forced you to get your shit together? That's exactly where
I was gonna go next, because like I was like,
oh fuck, I have to figure this out.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
So you know, I talked to my landlady, convinced her
to like give me an extension on it, and then
I started really like being aware of how I was
spending my money and really like down to this is
how much I have to shop to grocery shop this week.
This is how many times I'm gonna eat at home.

(24:34):
This is when I'm gonna buy a bagel, and it's
gonna be like breakfast and part of my lunch, you know,
Like I was, like, I got my fucking shit together.
I did because I had to, because I had to.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
And like I I wish that my parents had shown
me how to do some of that like when I
was younger.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
But they didn't know how to do either. So like
your twenties is also an amazing time to go, Like,
do I choose the path of going like, well, nobody.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Taught me how?

Speaker 2 (25:05):
I'm like, I don't know it? Or do I go hmm,
I've got the Internet in my pocket, I've got a
library at my disposal. I can learn how to do
these things. I don't need money to learn how to
do these things. I don't need learn money to learn
how to budget. I don't need money to learn how
to cook. I can just read books, right, I don't.

(25:26):
I don't even need money to like maybe take some
of these classes that you were talking about, right, Like
I could teach myself some of the stuff right the
twenty your twenties. I can watch YouTube videos.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
I can. Yeah, like this is the time, the time
which I had done more of that.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
I'm going to motor this. The motor's gonna come from
me now, like this is the time the motor before
came from your parents. Like you gotta go to school,
you gotta get gregs, you gotta book book blob.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
But do do do do do right in your twenties,
the motor your own motor. You gotta do it, babe,
and like you can do it.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
It's a difficult time for a lot of people like it,
and it was difficult for both of us in different ways.
But it also like I wouldn't go back there. I would,
I wouldn't go back there if you paid me. I
was about to say I would. I would love to
be able to sit down across from myself for ten
minutes back then and be like, you're so beautiful, you're

(26:21):
so funny and sweet. Don't compare yourself to anybody else,
and don't break up with all these motherfucking people you're seeing, Like,
don't and break don't. Don't be in a relationship. You
don't need to be in a relationship or a situationship.
Just be like making out with people at parties, babe,
like situation.

Speaker 1 (26:42):
Don't don't do any of it.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
You're beautiful, you're funny, you're smart, you're talented. Keep doing
what you're doing, and break up with everybody. That's what
I would I wish I could tell myself in my twenties.
What would you say if you could like sit down
with her for ten minutes?

Speaker 1 (26:58):
All those things, Alice or myself? You with yourself? Oh
with me? Yeah, yes, all the things you said. You're beautiful,
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Uh, you're smart, you're
you're funny, you're nice, you're a good friend. Stop making
excuses for people that are not good friends and just

(27:19):
get rid of them. Love it. That's a good one.
Try more things, teach yourself more skills and try yeah,
and just go on the fucking trip. Stop being afraid
that you're going to miss auditions, you're going to miss opportunities.
Maybe you can go on the trip. And there was
a way for you to go on the trip. Go
on the fucking trip. Go on the trip. On the
trip your shitty friends at home, and leave the shitty

(27:41):
friends at home. Yeah, oh yeah, good and just really
lean yeah, lean on the good friends and maybe try
to find some other new friends too, because you knew,
you knew, you kind of knew, just like I kind
of knew. You always know, Yeah, you always knew, know
because you start doing that. Oh, they're just you know,

(28:01):
sometimes they're just like this, oh you know, sometimes they're
just like yeah, overly sensitive about this, or they oh,
you know, they don't like to hang out the house
because they're just really like a party girl and like
just always need to be out. Like, yeah, you make
all the excuses and you shouldn't. Yeah, you do more, better,

(28:28):
more better. That was a good question. We really went
off on that one. Okay, that was a good Yeah,
we really did. It's the next one. Next one is
a voice note. Okay, I'm Claire. Okay, hi ladies. My
name is Claire.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
I'm a longtime Brooklyn nine nine fan, and I'm so
glad that I found your podcast because I could use
your help being a little more better at being happy
for my friends. And I hope as I explain this,
other women can relate and are just like Claire, sounds
like just a sad little bit. I am just in
a different phase of life than a lot of my friends.

(29:06):
And they've all been married for like five or seven years.
They're all moms, and when we get together, it's all
just a lot of mom talk and them offering advice,
giving advice, sharing stories and struggles, and I feel like
I'm just.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Sitting in the corner. I feel like I can't relate.

Speaker 3 (29:25):
I feel inadequate, and I have that creeping feeling of jealousy,
which is the worst one. I just I'm genuinely happy
for them, and I want that to be where my
feelings stop. And then while we're at it, I also
would like to be happy for me too. I'm getting
married this summer, and I'm very excited. Kind of the

(29:48):
same thing when we're together, after you know, all the
mom talk, it just it doesn't feel like the vibe
to talk about my wedding, And I honestly feel silly
talking about it because it seems like they've all been there,
had done that, and it's not really where they are anymore.
So I guess I just need help being happy. I

(30:08):
hope that you guys are able to help me be
a little more better.

Speaker 1 (30:11):
Thank you so much. Love you guys left the podcast.
Oh Claire, don't judge yourself so harshly. Oh my god,
please for.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
For the first first of all, don't judge yourself so harshly, because,
like we've all been in a situation with our friends
where we're like, well, what about my thing?

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Like I want to talk about my saying, you know, there,
even with friends that we'd love dearly, sometimes we're just like,
what about my thing? You know, I have a friend
who talk about thing, now, I want to talk about
my thing.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
She she she had she was married, but a lot
of her older friends, like friends that she'd been with
friends since they were teenagers, they all had kids, and
a lot of their conversations were around kids and having
having their toddlers and then having their older kids, and

(31:04):
she felt like, oh, like the connection with them it
felt very like frustrating for her at times. And I
remember her talking to me about this, and I also
remember sitting there being like, well, why don't you call
me up, like ask me to go to stuff, you know,
because part of that is part of part of of
having friendships, right is knowing when, oh, these are my

(31:26):
x y Z friends, right, like, these are my friends
that I, you know, do this thing with, or these
are my friends that I do that thing with. And
you didn't say, Claire specifically, if you've been friends with
them for a really long time, but it sounds like
you may have been friends with them for a little
while because they've got kids and you don't, and you've
watched their sort of journey. You know, when you have kids,

(31:51):
it can be sometimes really consuming because you're if you're
not asking for advice, maybe you're giving advice. If you're
acting like you have it all together most of the.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
Time, that's extremely stressful because you don't, yeah, and you're
just trying to put on that face, you know, and
you know there's that's certainly something that mom friends will
do when they get together, is they will talk about
that part of their lives because they don't.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
Have anybody else to talk about it with. They're in
lots of other environments where they don't get to talk
about that, and they don't get to commiserate with people,
and they don't have like a safe space to have
advice about it or talk about it or even just
like vent about it or celebrate it. They don't because

(32:46):
people that don't have kids often don't understand it in
the same kind of way. And that's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 1 (32:56):
I will say I wish that you fell. I wish
that you would allow yourself to talk about your wedding,
because if it is something that you're excited about, you
should talk about it.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
I certainly have. I remember feeling kind of like embarrassed
that I was so excited about my wedding really yeah,
because I was like, I mean, I started saving for
my wedding before I even met my husband, because I
was like, I want a big wedding. I was like,

(33:31):
I because I had been with someone before that that
did not want to get married and and yeah, and
then when we broke up, I was.

Speaker 1 (33:41):
Like, I want to have a big wedding. I want
to have a big wedding, and I want the wedding
of my dream. Your wedding. It was so much fun.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
Yeah, But I was like I was really embarrassed that,
you know, part of me was really embarrassed that I was.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
Am I really gonna like go all out and like
have like a flower wall and you know, make separate
bars for each alcohol and like have. However many food
trucks I had, you know, Like I was like, am
I doing this? Like?

Speaker 2 (34:09):
And so I was kind of embarrassed about how much
attention I was putting on my wedding. So I understand that,
I guess, is what I'm trying to say. I understand
like kind of feeling like, but it also sounds like
she wants to talk about it, and like I don't
know if they've been if they all got married, like
maybe they want to talk about it too, Like maybe

(34:29):
they miss just having a fun party to talk about
I don't know, I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, I feel like, you know, it is everything you said,
especially if their kids are little and they're just like
so in it. Yeah, they probably are leaning on each
other for community and just like I remember when I
would get together with my mom group friends when one
of my kids was doing something you know that was
driving me bonkers, and it was oh so affirming to

(34:57):
hear them be like, oh my kid's doing that too,
you know, And it's just like kind of a lifeline
when you're a mom. However, mm hmmm, I do feel
like I try to be very conscious if I'm with
a friend who doesn't have kids to at some point
like change the conversation. And maybe if your friends are

(35:19):
not having that awareness, I think that it's a perfectly
fine thing to bring up. Yeah, and you know, and
or or just try like being like, you know, after
you let them kind of do their kid talk for
a little bit, be like, hey, guys, can we talk
about the wedding? Because maybe it starts with like, you know,
I don't know, make up a problem and like ask

(35:40):
them for advice to like bring them into the to
the thing, you know, or like I don't know what
to do, and then questions about their wedding.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
I mean, don't you want to know about ask them
questions about their wedding?

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, be like maybe like what's the most you know,
wish what do you wish you had done? Or what
was the most memorable thing? Or you know, let's do
what was your favorite moment from your wedding?

Speaker 2 (35:59):
You know, like that's a good one. Yeah, that's a
really good one.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Do you remember when you were like just like make
sure that you like practice like taking snapshots of the
moment because it's all going to go so so fast.
You remember this? Oh? Yes, Because I tell everyone that
gets married that same advice because someone had said it
to us and it was the best advice ever. Say
right now, say right now for Claire. So the advice

(36:24):
is that throughout the day, every time you know there's
a moment and you can feel them throughout the day.
The first time you see your parents dressed up or
whatever it is, when you you know that, when you
turn that corner in the aisle and you see your
partner for the first time. Uh. The person told me
to say to myself, I want to remember this moment,

(36:46):
like in your head, say and sometimes I even whispered
it throughout the day, I want to remember this moment.
There's something about doing that that like makes you really
present and it kind of makes your brain take these
little mental pictures. And it is such a big day
that goes by so fast, and I swear my wedding
is like kind of a blur except for the times

(37:06):
that I did that. I have these like crystal clear
memories of when I first saw David, when I first
saw my dad in his tucks, when we had our
first dance, when you know, I gave I handed the
flower basket to my niece, like you know, it's just
these little moments and it was such good advice that
worked for me. And so I've just like every time

(37:28):
someone's gotten married, I've made sure to tell them that
like the night before or the day before. It's such nice.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
So the like scene, Yeah, you've been married, you've been married.
You know you've been married since your twenties, right, you
just talked about your wedding so like excitedly and full
of love. Right, Like people just because people have been
there and done that, it doesn't mean they don't want
to talk about it. Like if you want to talk
about your wedding, your upcoming wedding, and these friends are

(37:57):
married or not, like talk to them at it, like
ask some questions about theirs. Yeah, maybe part of the
issue is like I don't know, but like it sounds
like the issue is twofold, right, Like it sounds like
Claire's friends don't know when to stop talking about their
own kids, right they don't They maybe like don't have
a sense of like is she she's feeling left out?
Maybe it's like getting together like all four or five

(38:19):
of you in a group is not the It's not
the thing right now, like maybe or like at least
if it is, you got to kind of know, like
there's gonna be a lot of parenting talk. Maybe you
separate them a little bit, like maybe it's like you
just get lunch with Qutchen, You just get lunch with
you know whoever, Yeah, and see if you can steer
the conversation toward things that you both are interested in

(38:41):
or like, you know, maybe it's not all parenting stuff.
Maybe it's some other stuff too. I mean, I had
lunch with my friend Katie the other day, and we
did talk about parenting stuff. She's not a parent, but
I talked about it. But then also we spend a
lot of time talking about like makeup and politics and
other stuff.

Speaker 1 (38:56):
You know. Yeah, try to bring them into the excitement
of your wedding. Try to give maybe more cues of
like it's time for the conversation to steer away from parenting.
I think your suggestion too, of like hanging out with
one or two of them instead of maybe the whole group.
Separate these hosts because like moms like to talk about
mom stuff. Separate these hose you know, yeah, we do. Also,

(39:20):
I don't know, maybe explore put some more energy into
other friends that you maybe have that don't have kids yet.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
So yeah, yeah, maybe there's some friends, like some new friends,
like you know, like and I get it, like new
friendships are harder. You have to be like, do you
want to go to this thing with me?

Speaker 1 (39:41):
It's very like like a weird dating. It's hard.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
It's hard, and like you gotta do a little more
work than just like, oh, everyone's going to so and
So's house on Friday, are you coming?

Speaker 1 (39:52):
You know, it's a little more work than that.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
But if you are feeling some type of way about them,
and also if you try these some these tactics and
they don't really seem to be working, you know, I
think the ultimate is kind of like sitting them down.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
I wouldn't sit in a group.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
I would say like individually yeah and expressing like sometimes
I feel really left out because I think the conversation
steers towards something that like I'm not a part of.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
And I don't begrudge you your happiness.

Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yeah, I just want to be I just want to
continue growing together as friends, and I don't really know
how to do it.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
If I can't really take part in this part of
your life. Pick the person in the group who feels
like your strongest ally but also likes the gossip a
little bit, so because you got to count on that
friend going to the rest of the group. Like, I know,
I'm that friend in my friend group. When somebody comes
to me with a problem about somebody else in the

(40:49):
friend group, I know what they're asking of me. They're
asking for advice and empathy, and then they are also
expecting me to go to the rest of the group
and be.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
Like, hey, hey, you got we got to be better
reminds because we're making.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Them feel a certain way. Yeah, I know, I know,
I'm that I'm that bitch with the big mouth and
the friend group. So I will like turn around and
tell the rest of the group like, we can't do this.
It's making them feel Now, okay, I got good to
know about you. This is actually really good to know
about you. I'm like a fault to a fault, probably
because I like people will be like, did you know.

(41:21):
I'm like, yeah, I did know, and I'd be like,
but it was like last year, and I'm like, I know,
but she didn't say to tell you. So I didn't
say I'm a vault in general, but with my tight
little friend groups, I am not okay, I am not
good to know. Yeah, okay, I will, and I know
that they know that I'm gonna say some shit. Yeah yeah,

(41:43):
yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
This next one is actually about kids. This one is
from from Carl. Oh, what a cute name. Okay, my
wife's currently pregnant. One and two of you went through
the process of being pregnant. What examples do you recall
of your partner being supported and what were the they
could have been more better? Well, I'll tell you one
positive and one negative, and molessly you do the same.

(42:07):
How about that? Yes, one positive. I don't think I
changed a diaper. I mean I could probably ten times
for the first like, however, many months like the first
I think we left for London when she was three
months old, I maybe changed ten diapers. Like I was

(42:28):
doing a lot of other stuff. I was growing the
food source. I was like trying to do a bunch
of other shit, you know, trying to get another job,
all that stuff. But I didn't change the diapers. I
didn't change the diapers. And it was so helpful, and
you know, at first he had like a strong reaction
to it, but he quickly got used to it and
he got really good at it. So that is a

(42:51):
way that you can certainly help, like suck it up
and change the pup.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:56):
The way that he could have been more better, And
this is partially my fault.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Was he should have probably skipped his fantasy football draft trip.
You know.

Speaker 2 (43:09):
It was just a few and I think it was
like a week and a half after the baby was born.
And like before the baby was born, I was like,
I'll be fun. My sister's gonna help me. It's not
gonna be a problem.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
No. After the baby was born and he left, I
was like, fuck you, Like I couldn't believe, couldn't believe
that he had left.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Like and my fault, yeah, yeah, I mean the audacity
of him. Your heart, Yeah, my heart. It was my heart.
It was it was absolutely my heart. It was.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
It was your your fart in judgment. Yes, yea, So
those are mine? What about you? One mine? Okay? Positive
while she's pregnant. Every time my husband made me delicious,
like healthy food or brought me food of any kind,

(44:08):
I was like, oh my god, I am so loved.
I feel like a goddamn princess. Something about just when
you're pregnant. Every other time he's done it, I mean,
I appreciate it. But there was something about when I
was pregnant that I was just like, oh my god. Yeah,
also just like go I think, being extra like rubbing feet,

(44:29):
running a bath, like you know, saying let's go out
to dinner tonight or let's go away this weekend, like
because it is your last little bit of like the
newborn phase. But everything is so intense that first year
of being a new parent that I don't think we
I don't think most people take advantage of like that

(44:51):
time during pregnancy to just like be together, like you know,
watch a bunch of shows, like and it doesn't even
have to be like going out because maybe she's miserable
and like doesn't feel like doing that, so then maybe
it's like watching shows and movies together or reading a
book together or whatever. Like just really feeling close and connecting.

(45:12):
I think felt like very big to like when that
would happen when I was pregnant, but just felt very
like comforting and special. Uh. And then the negative, I
would say is for these nine months and for the
at least four years after you have a child. I'm
so sorry, Carl. You are not allowed to make any

(45:35):
comments about your own body, about the state of it
about particularly when she's pregnant and she has lost all
control over what her body is going to do. You
cannot make any positive or negative comments about your own

(45:56):
body during that time. You keep that shit to yourself.
You call your friends and you tell them, but you
every time, and everyone knows. My husband's very into fitness.
He's very like discipline, takes care of himself. And there
would just be times where he'd be like ugh, like
you know, pinsion some like love handle or something, and

(46:16):
I would want to murder a non existent nothing moment,
a non existent comment on his body.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Because a man or he had been fucking a runway
model for like versact right, and like he was in
like like he was the hot baby in a Mariah
Carey video like this is not.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
Yeah, he's on another level of like human Look, he's
on another level of like human fitness that is yes,
And he's worked out his whole life. And it's also
like he's passionate about it. It's part of his mental health.
But every time he said anything about his physical appearance,

(47:05):
I wanted to murder him, whether it was positive or negative.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
Yeah, you also can't be like, oh, man, I really
like got in it, got it, got at it today
at the gym's like, yeah, I know you can't.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
I can't do that.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
I can't bend it the waves.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
And I cannot be happy for you right now. No,
I can't. Yeah. Yeah. Or if you're eating extra with
her and gaining some Yeah, if you're like gaining weight
with her because you're eating extra with her, like great boo.
Keep that ship to yourself, Yeah, keep it to yourself.
Tell your friends, don't tell your wife. That's how you

(47:40):
could be supportive.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Absolutely zero zero's come to me except for to her.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
You're so beautiful. Yes, you're so beautiful. You're so beautiful.
You know. She's like, oh my god, no, I feel
like so disgusting. I hate this, And.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Then you go say, I will, I'm sorry, so beautiful,
you're so beautiful.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
I'm sorry. I just can't take my eyes off you.
Boo boo boo boom. Okay, booby boom boom boop. Next question, Okay,
pressure to be perfect as a woman. Oh yikes. Hi

(48:27):
Devanie and Melissa and team, thank you so much for
giving more better to the masses. I just listened to
your episode about making adult friendships and how hard it
can be. As I was cooking slash cleaning in my
one bedroom apartment feeling all kinds of lonely. Adult friendships
are hard despite me trying to be my despite me
trying my best and taking initiative. It really made me

(48:49):
feel that I was not alone. And if you, as celebrities,
go through it, then it's not surprising that someone like me,
just a normal person could go through it. To you,
thank you. Could you talk about how as women it
can be difficult to have everything together. For example, we
need to have the perfect hair, the perfect skin, the

(49:10):
perfect teeth, the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle to stay
healthy and all that fun stuff, and sometimes it can
just be overwhelming. We all feel like this right. A
lot of it has to do with social media mm
hm and how it portrays the best parts of ourselves
and that can be difficult to escape. Once again, all
the best to your team and can't wait to hear
to become more better best Cartiky, I hope I'm saying

(49:32):
that right. What a pretty name for it all, Partiki,
It is a pretty name.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
I mean, listen, we didn't have social media when we
were growing up, but we had hy am and seventeen magazine.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
We had those magazines. Every image in it, like every
other story was like how to lose weight, how to
get boys to like you, how to not be awkward?
How did this? How did that?

Speaker 2 (49:55):
And it was like, you know, this miniature version of
social medi yeah, which social media does nothing except I
guess it connects people. But like it is, it's a
hellscape of comparison, and it really is, and you know
it is.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
You gotta get off of it. You've got to get
off there.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
You got to like give yourself time if you want
to be on there a little bit, but like take
it off your phone and put it on your iPad
because then you won't look at it as much. Like
you got to just protect your you know, protecting your health,
protecting your mental wellness or whatever.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
That's part of it, babe.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Like you are never gonna feel any any bit of
like how magical and perfect you already are if you're
constantly looking at how other people are better than you
and thinking that in your head and cycling on that
on that thought, and like I think, you know, we
all wish we'd grown up with parents who told us
constantly you're so beautiful, you're so perfect, you're so loved,

(50:59):
you're so want wonderful, and maybe some of us did. Yeah,
you know, but if we didn't, then we have to
internalize that voice. And like it took me into my
you know, it took me. I'm still isn't working on it.
But like, for example, she says in here, the perfect skin,
she wrote, for example, we need to have the perfect hair,

(51:21):
the perfect skin. Oh my god, the skin issues that
I had and the way that I would look in
the mirror and hate on myself for my skin. And
it wasn't until like I first of all, I went
on accutane and I helped a lot, but like that
combined with like really understanding that, like I it wasn't

(51:44):
like my skin got clear and then I got Brooklyn
nine nine. You know, I got Brooklyn Miners before my
skin got clear. I was, Yeah, I was done with Brooklyn.
I think by the time I wasn't think so yeah
the last these my skin looked great because I was pregnant,
but like, yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't like the things

(52:05):
in my life that were coming to me that I
earned and like and were mine came to me because
my skin was clear. You know, like right it was,
it didn't happen like that, and like that whole time,
I wish I had I wish I hadn't berated myself
for not having good skin, you know, like.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
It does it.

Speaker 2 (52:26):
It's like you there's a certain amount of like letting
go of the comparison that we have to learn how
to do, and then somehow, weirdly those things that we
want come.

Speaker 1 (52:38):
And also acutaine. Accutane is great and also acutane And
I think, yeah, I think the second part of that,
which I think you're also saying with you know, accutane,
is trying to identify First of all, yes, one hundred percent,
get social media off your phone because I think it's
you need to detox for a minute. And I think
the second part is all so really trying to get

(53:02):
real with yourself about what are the things that you
actually give a shit that are causing you unhappiness or turmoil? Right,
and like for you, like it was going on acutane
and like you know that you did want to improve it,
you know, like and so it is like what are
the things that are you know, do do I wish
that I was eating healthier or whatever? You know, what

(53:24):
I mean, Like, yeah, or do I wish I was
working out more? Okay, that is something we can do
something about. That is something we can change. Might have
to sit down and schedule it and figure out how
we make it happen, and like, make a commitment, I'm
gonna do this for thirty days whatever it is. Like,
but those are things that you can do. Yeah, and
then all the rest of it you might find you

(53:47):
might discover you don't actually give a shit. It doesn't
bother you. Yeah, fine, you know what I mean. You
like this part of your life where you that's not
you don't really care about. Like I don't give a
shit about my nails. My nails look like shit all
the fucking time. They do. They look like shit all
the time. I don't know about that. And sometimes I

(54:08):
would have no they do like they're they're all broken
and summer long and summer short and like you know,
and most of the time I don't give a shit.
I have moments where I see Stephanie's beautiful nails or
I see another woman with beautiful nails, and I'm like, fuck, man,
why don't I like And it's the comarison thing. I'm
just like what I should probably care about this more,

(54:29):
like it does look so nice on a woman when
her nails are like a little bit long and like
done and stuff and like. But then I realized, like,
I don't actually give a shit for me personally. I
love it on other women. I think it looks beautiful.
It is not something that's actually important to me. And
if it ever does get to me, then I just
make time to go get a fucking manicure and like

(54:50):
feel better about it, you know. I like take some action,
but most of the time I don't care. And I've yeah,
I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. I've gone
to events with shitty bare nails and I don't care,
you know, And so it's really trying to get in
touch with you know, there's some actors that love doing

(55:13):
press and publicity and it's not something that I love
and I don't judge them for it, and sometimes I
feel bad, like, fuck, I should care more, I should
want to do I should want to do more photo
shoots or things. And then but then like I do that,
you know again, I just like dig in deep and
I'm like I don't care. I just don't care, Like
this is not something that's important to me. No. I

(55:34):
want to support the things that I'm doing and I
want people to watch them, and you know that will
motivate me to like do more. But this is not
something that feels important to me or that I need
to do. And it's great that people love it and
like you know, love to do it. I don't not
for me. Yeah, and that's okay, good for you, not

(55:55):
for me. For me, Yeah, there's not for you, not
for me.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
There's something really smart that you said about like narrowing down,
like what is the thing that really bums me out?
Or like what is the thing that I actually do
want to you know, quote unquote fix about myself or
and and sometimes like you do all those things and
you get to the place and you go, oh, that's
not the that wasn't the thing, you know, like that
wasn't the thing that it was the key on off

(56:20):
my happiness, you know, like it just wasn't because like
happiness is an inside job, you know, like feeling good
about yourself as a person is.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
An inside job. You know.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
I think like it's part of I mean, it's not
a coincidence that I went on like a wo wo
spiritual retreat and like came to terms with how I
was creating my own reality. And also like the next
week got on accutane. You know, like I right, it
just wasn't a coincidence.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
So like I think sometimes you go, like, I mean,
this is a good example. This is a weird example,
but like.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
You know, when people finally hit earlier, I think it
was earlier in this conversation might have been in the last episode,
but you know if oh no, it was this conversation. Okay,
so earlier you were like, oh, maybe you're like in
your twenties and you hit it big and like you
achieve greatness or whatever. But what happens if you do
that in your twenties And then you go, is this
it shouldn't all my problems were solved?

Speaker 1 (57:29):
Like now I'm perfect? You know, like what if you
had what you consider the perfect hair, the perfect skin,
the perfect teeth, the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle. Like
what if all those things like magically happened, and like
you still felt exactly the same way on the inside,
And you think to yourself, well, no, I'll feel different.
I'll feel different. But like will you or will you
still be?

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Like will you kinda like will you still sometimes feel lonely?
Like I mean you might get hit on maybe like
a little more if like you're hair is so shiny
that everyone in the room turns and looks when you
walk in. But like I don't know, like, are you
gonna get hit on by the kind of people that
you want to spend time with? I'm not sure, Like

(58:11):
I don't know the answer to that stuff. But I
think like thinking about these things in terms of like
what is actually important to me as opposed to what
does everybody else say is important? Yes, really big, big
kind of difference in like how what's going to make
me like actually happy, you know, like actually deeply happy

(58:35):
because like I mean, yes, my skin's clear now, but
like so also like I take antidepressants.

Speaker 1 (58:42):
Because like right, right, yeah, there's still stuff, there's still stuff,
there's still stuff. Yes, it's yeah, it's letting, it's letting
go of what other people's perceptions of perfect are. And
just I think it's just discovering like what is perfect

(59:03):
for you, m right, like inside and out right, Like
what yeah if you if if there's external things you
can change or be better at, you know, working on
because they make you feel good, great, do that, And
also are there internal things that you need to reckon
with or talk about or get to the root of,

(59:24):
because the external things are not going to do anything.
They're not going to change that part. Right, It's got
to be inside out, and it's got to be whatever
your version is. You can't you can't get that what
the idea of that is from other people. You really can't.
That's not you can. You can get it implanted when
you're a little kid, Yeah, you can, certainly, like right,

(59:44):
but like it's your job to deprogram yourself. It's your
job to like on brainwash yourself from all that garbage
that you might have been fed, like figure out actually
yeah yeah, uh huh yeah yeah, and get that social
media off your get it off your doing and just
put a dad.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
You're not on your iPad all the time, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
No, you got to look for it. You gotta make
sure it's charged.

Speaker 2 (01:00:08):
Yeah, make sure it's charged. You gotta make sure it's
not sticky if you have kids.

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
Mm hmm. More better. I what did you learn this season?
Oh my gosh, I what did I learn?

Speaker 2 (01:00:27):
I learned that my uh my headphones hurt if I
wear them for longer than an hour. I learned that, uh,
when I laugh really hard, you can see all the
way back into the back of my uh throat and
my feelings, which I'm trying not to do on camera
as much because everybody loves to laugh joyously.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Nobody wants to be caught with their mouth open like
a puppet. No. I learned that. You know.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
One of the reasons we decided to do this was
when initially, I think, like when the writer's strike happened
and then when the actors strike happened, to both of
us were like, what can we do that is creatively
fulfilling over this time, and that's when we started kicking
around the idea of doing this podcast. And then yeah,

(01:01:18):
you know, having this time and space to be able
to do this felt very grounding.

Speaker 1 (01:01:27):
Sometimes it felt like.

Speaker 2 (01:01:29):
Yeah, no, I have to record today, and like I
don't have any more energy, and I don't know where
I'm gonna pull it out.

Speaker 1 (01:01:35):
From my brain is bright, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
But in general I think it felt very grounding, and
also I hope one of my hopes coming through this
or out of this is like, you know, people, I
think probably a lot of people that listened to this
found us because they were fans of Brooklyn nine nine,
and like that is totally one part of us.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
And but you know, we're multifaceted. Barf, I've heard it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
So but like you know, we're pretty I think both
of us are interesting people and have interesting perspectives, and
I think we're constantly both trying to like learn about,
like how I can get more better at this because
like this is it, This is it. You only get
one round at this at least in this body, you know, like,
and so both of us are trying to be like,

(01:02:29):
how do I do this life a little bit like better? Easier, softer, funner, funnier,
whatever it is that week that you're focusing on, right,
And I do think like.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
I do think that I'm oh.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
My god, am I getting my period? Like why am
I like on the verge of crying again? Annoying?

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
But like I do, I don't know what you're putting
me on the verse.

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
In some ways it really helps. It has helped me
do that, right, Like we've both been through like very challenging,
especially through work, challenging like things were like you know,
and in different ways, but like I think it I
think some of the stuff that I've talked about with
you on the podcast is like definitely made me go, like,

(01:03:15):
take a breath, this isn't as serious as it feels
like it might be in this moment, or like I
know how to handle this because of this conversation that
I had with Melissa.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Yeah, totally, I think, And yeah, I think. The biggest
thing I've come away with is, you know, I love
this podcast is basically based on our dressing room talks
because this is what we would do all the time
and the importance of having a friend like that, which

(01:03:46):
I'm very grateful I have in you, but having and
I think hopefully everybody has that one friend that you
can connect with and just continue to like work on yourself,
you know, And like that's always been such a strong
connection between you and I, and I've loved it that

(01:04:06):
this podcast has like brought it back into my life
in a very big way, because, uh, it's like check ins.
It's like you said, it's so grounding to go like, gosh,
what would I do in this situation, or like how
do I handle these things? Or what can how can
I be better at this? Because I want to do

(01:04:26):
that because like you said, life is fucking short. We
got one shot at this in this body, and I
don't wanna check out. I don't wanna just kinda And
we have those phases of life for sure where we're
just like buried or busy or overwhelmed, or we just
kind of or we're grieving or you know, whatever it
may be, that we're just kind of like going through

(01:04:48):
the motions. But I don't ever want to do that
for too long. I wanna I want to be the
kind of person that always kind of checks in and goes, Okay,
what's working here, what's not working here? Or what can
be better? What can fall by the wayside? Like how
do we make the most of this very short life
you know and present? And I get to do that

(01:05:09):
with you, and I'm very grateful for it. Now to
decrive and I'm not going to to do a little more.

Speaker 2 (01:05:17):
Do you feel a little more better after doing this
forty times? Forty times?

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
Forty times? Girl? Forty? I do? I really do. And
also a huge I don't think we could have done
forty of these without the help of our listeners sending
in suggestions and questions. That has become a huge part
of this and thank you so much for giving us

(01:05:43):
more topics and things to think about and digest and dissect.
And you're as much a part of this as you
know as we are. Yeah, absolutely, yes, Yeah, Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
A sea leader.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
I'll see you later, Fred, Bye bye, More Better.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want us to talk about in a
future episode?

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks? Shoot us your thoughts
and ideas at Morebetter pod at gmail dot com and
include a voice note if you want to be featured
on the pod.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
Ooh, More Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from
Wvsound and iHeartMedia's Mikutura podcast network, hosted by me, Steffie Beatriz,
and Melissa Kumera. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid
and Sophie Spencer Zagos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama
and Leo Klem at Wvsound. This episode was edited by
Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and features original

(01:06:44):
music by Madison Davenport and Heylo Boy. Our cover art
is by vincent Remy's and photography by David Avalos. For
more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. See you
next week, Suga bye mm.

Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
Hmmmmmm h oo. Tookitomas Mayhor