August 9, 2022 • 48 mins
Get ready because Darilyn sits down with the dancing queen herself Manuela Agudelo. These lovely Latinx creatives discuss ancestry and legacy as well as how Manuela is able to combine their two passions: dance and social justice. We also find out what Bad Bunny song has her dancing the night away. Tap in! Te invito.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh yeah, me Hinde. I just want to give you
a heads up. The program you are about to hear
may have some explicit language, it may not. It also
depends on where the vibes and the spirit leads us.
Hope you enjoy. Welcome to Morenita, a deep dive into
the Latin X experience. With more Anita, we want to
(00:22):
create a community and a shared space with you while
sharing knowledge and inspiration. This show is about celebrating our
culture with guests who exemplify the best of us. I'm
Darrylene Gastillo Ethane Veto. Not all superheroes were caps. Some
(00:44):
superheroes are changing the world one dance move at a time.
That's right, you heard me, dance moves and Manuela ag
is changing the game with her killer moves and loud presence.
Manuela the Colombian dancer, choreographer, model, actor, roller skater, activists
(01:06):
and cultural producer and She was raised in Queens, New York,
Stand Up New York. Her movement is influenced by Afro
Indigenous Colombian folk dances as well as street styles from
New York City. She holds two degrees, one in performance
arts and one in Social justice I mean, listen, I
(01:27):
just gave you guys a lot so off. You need
a moment to process all of her accomplishments. Take a
second press of rewind if you have to, because Manuela
is NonStop and she is a woman with a mission
on changing the world. She is truly unstoppable. Manuela and
I go in on the life of being an artist
and finding your voice. It's not an easy task, and
(01:50):
trust me, it's also something that I've personally battled with.
You feel all this passion inside of you, and you
want to create and you want to have a platform.
But sometimes as an artist, you struggle with what to say,
what to stand up for? Is what I have to
say important enough? Who wants to hear me? Manuela opens
(02:12):
up to us about how she's finding her evolving voice
and how that's helped her find success creating art in
the way that she wants to create art. We discuss how, yes,
the foundation of dance is extremely important, such as ballet
and institutionalized dance rooms, but it wasn't until she reached
(02:35):
her roots of her Afro Indigenous Sylumbian heritage where she
truly found her rhythm and her soul. This connection that
she began making helped her take off with multiple projects
when grants and produce and direct her own projects that
we will highlight and discuss. Something about manuela story that
(02:58):
I found so related well was through her hardships she
always found her positivity and how this was passed down
from her mother. Through the struggle, we push and we
fight with strength. But Manuela and I challenge this thought
as well, why must there always be a struggle? How
(03:20):
can we diminish the struggle for the future generation so
we can grow from the past generational trauma. This episode
hits on all of that, and after this conversation, I
felt so full, so inspired and to leave with light
and positivity, and I'm so curious what it's going to
(03:40):
leave you feeling? Fine? Vito, Well, well, well, my people,
you have a very very very very special person in
the room. Manuela. Welcome to Morenita. How you doing, my
dancing queen. I am managing my blessings. I am simultaneously
(04:06):
excited and looking forward to so much and simultaneously exhausted
and um, you know, working through trauma because yes, necessary,
all the necessary things. Um, I've already filled in our
wonderful listeners on the incredible things that you have done
(04:28):
and the things that you're doing and who you are,
and now this is like your moment to dive in
deeper and um, something that I had mentioned in the intro,
you know, is that you are a dancing superhero. Like
all the work that you do is for a reason,
(04:49):
and there's something behind it that is like a moving mechanism.
And I just want to know and like dig into
more of like how that became a part of you,
how that became like your focus. Um, especially during a
time with COVID. I think that's when your art started
really flourishing. And I think that that's a that was
(05:11):
a really difficult and it is still a difficult time
for a lot of people and a lot of artists
to push through. I think that the only right way
to do this is in true Manuala fashion and take
it all the way back. Because I don't know how
to answer questions in a very in small words. I'm
a very big word person. UM, So I want to
say that I think that when I was in high
(05:34):
school and I was sixteen, I knew that I always
wanted to be a performer and I always wanted to dance,
But it became very clear to me that the world
was on fire and I had to be somebody with
a bucket or with some sort of like ladder or something.
You know, if the world was on fire, I had
to be a part of taking care of everyone and
making sure that I could do everything that I could.
So I feel like when I was sixteen and I
(05:56):
realized that I wanted to do something within a realm
of social justice, I started struggling and figuring out, you know,
how can I continue to be a dancer and continue
to be an artist because that's my calling in my life,
but include the focus of social justice? How can I
(06:17):
uplift my community and provide for the people that I
care about so much? And that became this long extended
challenge that I resolved in college because I was able
to make my own major in college and I started
off in City College, like you no beavers go beavers,
So you were able to create your own uh program? Yeah,
(06:39):
So you know, I entered City College, I you know,
I was in International studies, and then I thought I
maybe able to creative writing, and then I ended up
in the theater department, and then you know, everything just
the math wasn't mathing, it wasn't adding up. I didn't
feel like I was doing specifically what I wanted, which
was are and creating social change. And I didn't know
(07:02):
how to do that until a classmate of mine UM
jokingly was just talking about his major, telling me all
about how he created it, and he said, why don't
you just make your own thing? Like you keep mentioning
all these things you like, all these topics that you
want to study. Just make your own major. That's what
I did, and you know, like a light bulb went
(07:24):
off in my brain because I've always been somebody who
creates her own path. I've never UM. I feel like
I've always had a match through the woods and hacking
my own path, like I've so hard, so it's accurate.
I feel like I'm through the woods just hacking a
path because there isn't one, and I don't want the
one that everyone else has, so I UM. I tapped
(07:47):
in immediately and found the Quene Buffaloure at School for
Unique and Interdisciplinary Studies and UM. It immediately became very
clear to me that I had the agency and the
autonomy to really design every class that I took, every
UM course that I wanted to take, and I could
(08:08):
also take it at any of the tune schools, so
I didn't have to only stay at City College, which
opened up the avenues to studying dance at the Hunter
Dance Department while taking anthropology class at City College UM,
and it opened up all these possibilities for me, and
I began to study my major, which was social justice,
(08:30):
and then my second major was performance art, so I
studied theater and I studied dance, and then I also
studied social justice, which I pulled classes from various courses
like Women's Studies, Latino Studies, Black Studies, UM, I did
Disability Studies. Because I did so many different courses that
really I think opened my mind and UM strengthened my
(08:54):
levels of compassion and understanding, and I think that that
was major for me. So at the beginning of school,
I was doing a lot of that academic work, a
lot of the writing, which I loved, and then towards
the end of my four years, I spent a lot
of time at the dance department at Hunter, which just
opened up its arms to me and was so amazing
(09:16):
about helping me get funding for my pieces and supporting
me in this journey of looking into my family and
into my family history, and that's where that kind of began.
And UM. While I was at City College, I also
took this class called UM Cultural Storytelling that was being
taught by the Legacy Arts Ensemble, which is a West
(09:39):
African storytelling group that incorporated percussion, dance, acting UM and
I actually became a part of that group. And the
big takeaway from being a part of that group was
to live your legacy and to dig deep into your
roots and to learn about who you are. And I
feel like in learning so much about the story of
(10:00):
enslavement in the US, UM, I began this really deep
introspection of you know, how did that affect my history
and my ancestry. And that happened to be a big,
big turning point for me and I UM began to
create work based on all these questions I had within
(10:23):
my ancestry. And the two pieces that I made in
college for my thesis were focused around my grandmother and
my mom and around just like leadership and women. But
I hadn't quite clicked the part of using my cultural
dance and folkloric Colombian dance as the aesthetic. I feel
(10:43):
like I was still stuck in Oh, I have to
make this look like contemporary dance that you know that
I've been taught. Um, I've been taught and it's been
so redundant that okay, like, if I want to make
it in dance, it has to be this these very
year eccentric dance forms. And you're talking like a jazz
(11:05):
like all those like you know, kind of the basic
one of one dance classes that you normally would take. Yeah. Yeah,
so UM, I feel like, UM, when I entered Hunter,
there was this bigger picture of you know, you can
do anything and it doesn't have to only be this.
And I also feel like my work with L A. E.
(11:28):
With like a CRTs ensemble, they also really were all
of their dance was afrocentric. And it made me remember,
you know that everything I was taught with my tech,
with my eurocentric techniques that I learned, it wasn't the
end all and be all. It wasn't the God in
the center of the universe. You know, it was a
technique that is in my toolbox that I can use
(11:49):
and UM, and that really started to you know, percolate
my brain and I made my pieces. Um, and I'm
very proud of the work that I did. But I
want to say that when I graduated college and when
I was out of school and I was in the
midst of the pandemic now where I couldn't be in
(12:11):
dance class, where I couldn't train, um, and I was
kind of in the vacuum of my bedroom. All I
had was my family at home. And then I started
listening to a lot of traditional music for fun and
UM asking my mom about, you know, the the history
of some of the songs that I was really liking
(12:33):
at home, like with Gumbia specifically, and you know, um,
I remember that there was this one Gumbia song called
Senaida and she started telling me about how it's this
beautiful poem that was turned into a Columbia and the
poem it talks about this Campasina, who you know, was
walking through the village selling her goods and she was
(12:57):
really old and she's still got up every morning to work.
And there was just something that really spoke to me
about that, something that told me, you know that there
is an oral history here. There is a very very
rich history in this. And I just went crazy into
this rabbit hole of of this history of Gumbia and
I started researching it and in my bedroom where I
(13:21):
was stuck, where we were all stuck. At some point
at the very beginning of this I I had this
epiphany where I found the history and I and I
learned that Glombia specifically is the dance of liberation for
my ancestry because in the times of enslavement in Colombia, UM,
(13:44):
you know parentheses for a little history check, so of
course we know that you know, enslavement didn't just happen
in the America's UM. It did happen in the America's
for the longest period of time UM for for Afro
diasporic peoples. But UM the port of Garta Hana and
Colombia had one of the highest number of UM African
people coming in UM. It had a very high number
(14:07):
for the Americas. And in that in those regions and
those coastal regions when enslavement was still something that was
being practiced. UM, there was also a large number of
indigenous people native people to the area, to to the
to the regions that were also being colonized. And we're
also experiencing a lot of hardship and cruelty and UM
(14:29):
and I feel like in the midst of that difficulty
and that hardship, there were there were still moments to
to celebrate. Kind of similarly, and I draw this line
all the time to what I learned about the about
Afro Usonian enslavement, which would be like Jubilee and Juba,
where at the end of the day they would still
find a way to celebrate and enjoy. I I connect
(14:50):
the Juba and the sense of its intention to Cumbia
because Gumbia was danced with a candle and it was
according dance of like love and flirting and just celebrating
and enjoying at this time of very difficult trauma. Um.
And it was this dance between the natives and the
and the Afro dis work people who now end up
(15:11):
becoming the Afro Colombians. UM. And you know, there was
enslavement and shackles, and that's why their feet are um.
That's why the dance, the quality of the movement within
the feet is is close together, so it's a small
little step because their feet were shackled. And that just
broke my heart. I was just I was so moved.
I kept thinking, Wow, like we celebrate this dance and
(15:33):
we don't even talk about how their feet were shackled
and now our feet are are free, but we still
do this dance and we hold this history of cumbia
Um within our bodies while we're doing this at home,
when we're when we're partying, when we're doing all these things.
But we never talked about it. And you know, that
just broke my heart and I said, Wow, they were
finding freedom in this moment while their feet were still shackled.
(15:59):
They were finding freedom by loving each other, by emboldening
their humanity through through moving their hips. So the feet
were shackled. But you know, you can't hold these hips.
You know what I'm saying that was that was like
these devites could don't lie. They gotta do what they're
gonna do. They don't lie. And I was so moved.
I said, Wow, their feet were bound, but they couldn't
(16:22):
bind their souls. They couldn't bind their love for each other.
They couldn't bind you know, even the drums, the percussion
that that my ancestors were they brought. You know, these
people brought, and they brought so much even though so
much was taken from them, And that is just a
huge highlight for me so in learning that history, I
you know, I started just putting on skirts in my
(16:44):
room and recording videos for fun and no longer for
you know, I'm so nervous about my dance career and
what that's gonna mean. And I kind of dropped that
fear all of a sudden, all this anxiety that I
had around you know, what am I going to do
with myself? And I just started having fun. And I
believe that the same spirit of play and celebration that
(17:06):
was in creating Columbia and turned my body and I said,
I'm gonna play, I'm gonna celebrate. I'm gonna enjoy myself
in my space with the people I love, and all
of a sudden, you know, and just this play I
started creating and I started sharing it, and everyone started
tapping in and asking me too, Oh, can you come
(17:29):
for cultural day at school and teach, you know, about
your culture and teach like a class. And then I started,
you know, bringing this research into the classroom or into um.
There was a Juneteenth celebration that invited me and wanted
me to share a little bit about this liberation story,
and you know, slowly, I just got so excited because
I said, this is mine, Like, nobody can take this
(17:52):
for me, you know. I I'm so happy that this
is something that I really just I grabbed it and
I said, Wow, nobody can tell me this isn't mine.
Nobody can tell me that I'm doing it wrong. Nobody
can tell me, you know, that there's something wrong with
what I'm doing. I felt so rooted in that. I mean,
(18:20):
everything that you just have said is you finding your purpose?
And I think that for many artists that's extremely difficult. Um,
what was your upbringing? How did that fold into who
you are today? And and all of this passion that
you just are zooting and speaking about and the knowledge
(18:42):
that you have. Yeah. So I think that for a
lot of people of color, when it comes to being
excited about social justice, it's because we're, you know, our
testimony as a direct result of all of the issues
that we're fighting for. And I feel like my experience
(19:03):
in immigrating at four years old, Um, I immigrated with
my mom. My mom was a single mom, and there's
so much there. There was so much poverty and difficulty,
you know, um, where we come from, even though we
were very joyful, had lots of family, had lots of
opportunity to coming um because my mom is also a dancer.
She had you know, her dance academy in Columbia, and
(19:26):
she had you know, this comfort of this community she
had built. But as a single mom, she said, you know,
I want I want more for my daughter. And I
feel that she dropped everything she had to make this voyage.
And we got here on September nine of two thousand one.
(19:47):
So we got here two days before the Twin Towers
came crashing down. And that was actually my mom's first job.
She was like cleaning rubble and cleaning dust. I think
back on that, and I think on how my mom
brought me here promising that I'm gonna go see Donald Duck.
You know, she said, man, has that happened? No? Have
(20:16):
I met Donald Duck? No? Oh my god. But you
know she told me that because this was a game
we were playing in a very dangerous game. This is
squid games. Okay, this is this is life or death.
And lo and behold we arrived, right, praise God, we arrived.
(20:37):
The TSH agent talks to me and says, Nina, like,
you know, not even were an American? Now, hey, little girl,
like where you going or likes whatever. I spoke Spanish.
I'm sure it wasn't Spanish. Whatever. Um, so he was
like like, where are you going? And I go to
see Donald Duck, so, um, you know we're gonna stay.
(21:00):
We we were staying with my aunt. Um, so we're here.
My mom is, you know, freaking out, so afraid, she
tells me like I was getting prepared for them to
separate us. I had all these different scenarios in my brain.
So because when my aunt immigrated, I have another aunt
who immigrated here who was taken to to jail prison.
(21:24):
She was incarcerated for a while for for trying to immigrate.
That was that she didn't do anything wrong. She was
just trying to be here. Um, and they took her
for many months and then she was sent back home.
We got here, and I feel like just experiencing the
first four years, and when I recount my life, I
feel like I really had to relearn what happened, because
(21:47):
I feel like my brain erased a lot of things.
And also my mom was the magician of no, we're
not you know, like when we got evicted once, what, No,
we're just we're having to sleep over slumber parties at
our friend's house and you know, and I think back
on that and I'm like, wow, my mom was playing
a game with me to make sure that I was
(22:07):
that I wasn't going through the same level of stress
that she was. She was trying to, you know, cover
it for me, and um, you know, we were hopping
around our friends houses and I was, you know, going
to school from different places for like a little while.
It was moments like that that I realized, Wow, like
the child of a single parent of immigrants, like, it's
(22:29):
such a challenging life. And I don't want to say
it's it's not even just that it's not easy. It's
specifically designed to be the most challenging. And I think
that in seeing that struggle and living it, I feel
like I'm I'm uncovering a lot of that trauma now
because growing up, my mom was just always present and providing,
(22:52):
and no matter what we did or like the you know,
the three jobs she worked, I got to school with
my hair slick, with my beauniform clean, and she always
made sure to make me breakfast and pack me lunch.
And I just think that that's insane, you know, I
think it's insane that she was working so many jobs
and doing so much and still trying to dance. Like
(23:14):
she was still like performing sometimes and like you know,
competing sometimes and like teaching dance classes. And she was
working at you know, she worked everywhere. She worked at
hair salons, she worked at dance studios, she worked, you know,
she did so many things. And I think back on wow, like,
despite all that, she still managed to make me breakfast
(23:35):
and do my hair and send me to school with
a clean uniform. Right, it also makes me think of Manuela,
Like as you're speaking and as you spoke previously about
the work that you're doing in the social justice and
how this one concept of finding joy, and it's so
interesting because it's something that's very evident in our history
(23:55):
as a Latina people, not only as Colombianos Dominican in
Puerto Ricane, just nothing the community itself and how we
deal with trauma and how we deal with these very
serious things that are happening around us. Yet your mother
was still able to get you to school, the clean
uniform would slick hair, and you would have these sleepovers.
(24:19):
You know that you wouldn't even know what's happening until
now that you're older. And something that is like really
fascinating to me as I'm listening to you speak, is
that right now, with what you're doing, it's almost like
you are untying all of that trauma. This or purpose
just keeps coming back to me. This purpose of like
(24:41):
in that explanation, right, because we don't need to explain
ourselves to anybody or prove anything or it's like we
know the real right, But you're actually like digging into
like the trauma and like and understanding it and those questions.
And I wonder if you're doing that because of everything
that you've been through and everything that you have have
gone through, you know what I mean. Yeah, And I
(25:02):
feel like, UM, through that, I'm also just coming to
these really amazing UM just teachings and learning and UM
just learning that so much of that trauma lives in
your body and lives in your habits and realizing that
you know, as I move and as I dance, and
as I share the knowledge UM and as I share
(25:25):
the technique or the stories through these dances now that
I'm doing right through the dances of gumbia or that
I've been learning um learning the rhythms, and I'm still
on that journey, and I'm still learning about the actual
um dances and histories because there's so many different dances
and so many different histories and traditions. And I feel
(25:46):
like as I'm sharing that and learning that I'm hoping
and and sending all my love and every time I do,
because I understand now more than ever that that trauma
that lives in your body it can be worked through
with movement, and that is that could be a very
(26:08):
meditative and healing art form. And the reason that I
believe in it so much is because of that history
where I think, Wow, these people were getting beaten down
and worked to death and they lit a candle and
they danced, and that was their therapy, you know, that
was what they had. They used what they had, And
(26:29):
I think that I'm trying to return to that in
that sense of I want to light that candle at
the end of the difficult time and dance and remember
that just being alone is a resilient act of resistance.
And I feel that in the world of activism, I
(26:50):
had opportunities where I was organizing the protests, leading the protests,
you know, organizing mutual aid and all those things are
so important to me, and I want to encourage all
of us to engage in them whenever we can. Um.
But in the same vein understanding it as an artist,
I also remind people, especially people who have these kinds
(27:13):
of histories where we've struggled so much, and I just
want to remind everyone, you know, just being and just
celebrating and just enjoying yourself is an act of resistance.
And I'm not saying that in the sense of, you know,
forget about everybody else and only enjoy yourself, But I'm
saying that in the sense of make sure that you're
healing and making your healing a priority, because if you
(27:36):
don't take care of yourself, you cannot possibly enact change,
and you cannot possibly help others heal or help others
be safe. Put on your oxygen masks before you put
one on somebody else, right, And I think that, um,
that is something that wasn't modeled for me. And that's
where I'm struggling as a human right now. Because my mom,
(27:59):
as you heard, did everything for me, for my brother,
for my family, and she continues to over extend herself
in this beautiful and selfless way, but she just has
only very recently been learning how to really self care,
really truly take care of herself, and she's working on that,
(28:22):
and it makes me so sad. And I think that
that pain of seeing her struggle and not seeing her
prioritize her pleasure or her safety or her joy, that's
broken my heart so much, and it's reminded me that
I don't want to continue that cycle, and I want
(28:43):
to encourage her to heal herself, and I want to
heal myself in this process and make sure that as
I'm processing this for myself, I'm reminding people that it's
so important for them to take care of themselves. Because
in seeing all that I shared with you know, our journey,
and through all of it, my mom was present for
me and in the most you know, prioritizing me in
(29:07):
selfless ways. And that's the way of a mother, and
it's the way of immigrant moms. And I just think
it's such a beautiful thing to see the sacrifices when
you've been displaced, and even if you like moved by choice,
it's like you're still far from everything that you know,
and you're learning the language, you're learning everything, and it's
I just can't imagine the level of of trauma that
(29:30):
she has still and the fact that it's unaddressed is
it is mind blowing. Right. I think that that brings
me specifically to the work that I'm making now, which
is about highlighting the stories of the ancestral women in
my lineage, because in seeing my mom struggle, I went
(29:53):
to my grandma and interviewed her and saw that she
did the same thing. And then I talked to her
about her grandmother who raised her, who did the same thing,
who just put everybody's needs beyond her needs, you know,
putting every everything in the family before yourself. Um. And
I think that that is what a lot of women
of color do. And I wanted to make work that reimagined, um,
(30:17):
what that could look like where we take care of ourselves,
and where I can think of a reimagined history where
my great great grandmother wasn't just you know, working herself
to death to take care of all her grandchildren who
she was forced to raise. UM. I wish that I
could reimagine a world where she did take care of
(30:39):
herself and where did where she did prioritize her peace
and her pleasure and her joy, and you know, and
maybe that could have changed the trajectory of our line
of women. And I think of how that trauma, that
physical pain lives in my grandmother and my mom, and
it lives in me, and how I to transform that
(31:00):
And all of the work that I did in the
film that I mean and in the production that I
put on, it was all about, you know, how can
I encourage these women who always put themselves last two
nurture themselves if they're often nurturing everybody else. You know
who nurtures the nurturer, right right? You know who heals
(31:23):
the healer? And I wanted so badly to just highlight
that joy in these women in my lineage and and
of course like bring that topic cross culturally and encourage
all women to feel that way. But for sure, um
within these aesthetics and these dances, and that's you know,
that's where I am now, because it's been a process
(31:44):
of just really wow, like how do I take care
of myself and then make sure I'm sharing that and
passing it on so that we can all enjoy that.
It's evident in your work. It's evident in the work
that you're doing, and it's evident that the work that
you're doing is not for the likes. It's not for
the Instagram, it's not for the Twitter, even though you're
getting all of that, which is incredible, but it's also
(32:07):
for you. It's like a healing process for you that
like we get to witness if we're lucky enough to
know you, we get to witness and to process and
to see that. And this is why I said you're
a freaking dance superhero. Um. I've known you since college,
so i've seen you from young woman grasshop. But so
(32:29):
you're coming into yourself and it's such a beautiful journey.
And I'm grateful that you've been a part of some
of my projects and you've brought that energy and that realization.
But I want to also thank you for sharing your vulnerability.
I mean, there's so much that we can go into.
I don't think this is the last time you'll be
on here, um, but I want to thank you for
(32:49):
sharing your vulnerable story of your family and something that
I think many of our listeners will um understand and
the inspired or bye, and we need to continue telling
our stories. So I thank you for telling your story
and for inspiring us all. This is the moment Manuela
(33:21):
that We've all been waiting for quick round questions. You ready, Okay,
I'm ready. If you could have dinner or coffee with
anyone alive or dead, who would it be? Oh my gosh,
what are you gonna do this to me? Oh my goodness,
I didn't even think about this. Um okay, no, honestly,
like no, this is yeah, this is unquestionably the answer.
(33:45):
I would like be so happy, so happy to sit
with my great great grandmother because she was seeing her
picture and seeing her you know, deep rich, dark chocolate skin.
It really it really grounded me and everything that I'm doing,
(34:08):
Like I wish she were alive to see how much
I literally worship her. I think she's just such a badass,
and you know, from the stories of my grandmother who
was raised by her, I'm just like wow, like she's
like she's a badass. Like I want to talk to her.
I want to know who her parents were. Nobody knows
who her parents are, and that's what kills me. I
(34:29):
don't know who her parents are, um, but I know
that either her parents or maybe her in her very
young years. Like when I look at the time that
slavery was abolished in Colombia, like there's a strong connection
with my great great grandmother, and I want to make
sure that I talked to her and get to know
her and remind her of how much I appreciate everything
(34:52):
she did um because I feel like she's just kind
of like floating in she definitely, Oh yeah, she right there,
She's right there next to you right now. Every time
I perform, I that was actually something I learned with
l A like before we perform, we like asked her
permission for the ancestors. And I feel like whenever I've
had performances, I'm always like, thank you for you know,
(35:15):
for for your labor. And I know that as a
as an old lady, she had a very difficult um
like her body was just really broken down from all
the labor, and I just, you know, I wish her
like a lot of like physical peace and healing and
um and seeing that, you know, I want I want
that healing to to continue, you know, I want that
(35:36):
to start with me. And I'm grateful because because of her,
I'm the one who was like, you know, I'm remembering
her and mentioning her and everything that I do. So
her name is Agit Pina. She has a crazy name,
but I love it like Mammy. I would love to
(35:56):
have dinner with your baby girl. Okay, that's beautiful. Okay.
Second question, favorite song right now to dance too? Oh
my gosh, um, I can't stop listening to the Bad
Bunny album. I had a feeling you're gonna say that Bunny,
(36:17):
you know I it's it's the truth. Um. I think
that roller skating to everyone is also a professional roller skating.
Oh my gosh, roller skating. So he lean those because
um Bomba studios on it, and she's from the coast
of Colombia. She's amazing. So um Bomba studio with Bad
(36:40):
Bunny hips lean those. That's okay. Someone gives you an
unlimited budget for a dream project, what would it be?
What's something you have tucked in your heart you'd love
to share with the world. Okay. So if I had
unlimited funds, I would set off on an exploratory journey
(37:05):
through Columbia to train with different masters of this craft,
and I would um sponsor a certain amount of artists
to bring back here to New York. And then I
would restage Legado Lodado, which was the first production that
I directed and for Due and I would restage it
(37:26):
with um this new found knowledge and these new dancers
and cantellodas and movers and and all these amazing artists
who I have here in New York and who I
would bring to also just extend the opportunity. I think
it's really big for me to extend the opportunity to
people who, um don't have the privilege of living in
New York. So I would love to do that. And
(37:48):
I would love to restage it here, do it in
like a huge venue, because I've done it in a
black box. Let's production all you that's what we need.
I would love for the cast to be all women
and non binary people, and I actually, UM, you know,
(38:10):
i'd love like a whole group of female percussionists like
that would be just like the dream UM and to
you know, put on together something that's very interdisciplinary and
have poetry definitely, have you know, monologues in there, like music,
a lot of live music. We want the whole production,
we want we want production value, yes, and then at
(38:32):
the performance, I would love to UM share whatever I
document through the journey of learning and being educated and
learning more and growing more through Columbia and kind of
show that as like the process, because I think it's
very important to share process um and to share you know,
the challenges of that process, so that I can encourage
(38:52):
other Battianas to come in here and do their things.
Not dead, but yeah, you know people that I'm I
love that like you can you can do it too.
I will ask you, how would you like your legacy
to be defined? What is that legacy for you? So
that is literally the premise of the show like Um,
(39:18):
because I wanted so badly for people to understand that
what I want to leave behind for sure is I
want people to heal the trauma that they have and
to address the trauma that they have, and to prioritize
(39:40):
pleasure and joy and peace and know that by doing that,
you model the behavior that you want your kids to have,
that you want your friends to have, and you want
your parents to have. And in nurturing yourself and caring
for yourself, there is just it's so radical, how radical
(40:04):
it is to love yourself in a world that constantly
is beating you down, in a country whose history literally
thrives off of you hating yourself. I think it's so beautiful.
Like the many lessons that I've learned from so many
incredible black women from here and from you know, afrodise
sport women from our Latin A community. Just I've learned
(40:25):
so much from them in the sense of it's so
resilient to take care of yourself, and I think that
that is the legacy I want to leave. I want
people to to dance, to enjoy, and I just want
people to remember that you don't have to dance to
be the best dancer. You can dance for peace, for love,
for joy, for your liberation. You don't have to sing
(40:46):
to be the best singer. You can sing with your family,
you can sing by yourself, you can sing to you know, stimulate,
simulate that vegas nerve, like release, release all of this
pain that's literally in our DNA from all of these struggles.
And I think that we are so focused on how
hard we have to work, and I think that how
(41:08):
hard we have to work isn't just this thing about
how hard capitalism tells us to work, but it's also
something that I feel within our activism communities were always like,
we gotta work hard and work, work, work to free everybody.
And I'm like, absolutely, But if something I learned from
organizing countless protests and being involved in this community. It's
that you burn out so fast that it's a marathon
(41:28):
not a race. Um. And in the long run, I
want to be healthy for the community that I want
to take care of. And I think that I'm struggling
dead ass full out. I am struggling with that. I
am not completely there, but I know that it's the
goal that I have and I want and I want
to encourage people so much, you know, to heal through
(41:50):
their arts and to indulge in the things that you
know bring you peace, because you know, life is short
and the lives of our ancestors mad are so much
that we should take care of the vessel that they made,
you know, they made us. And I think that, um,
you know, I keep thinking back on like wow, Like
(42:10):
when I'm so hard on myself, I'm really just beating
down that little girl who immigrated and didn't know how
to speak English, and that breaks my heart. I'm like,
I can't be mean to her, what, you know, after
everything she went through, you know, let me be kinder
to myself. And even this week was so rough and
so hard, and then when I get the chance to
talk about it, like this, I'm like, wow, I should
(42:32):
really slow down and take a minute and acknowledge what
I've done and remember that existing and just being, not
even doing anything, just being and like taking care of yourself.
It It is such an act of resilient, powerful, you know,
groundbreaking revolutionary change. And and I think especially all of
(42:56):
these women of color and all these envy baddies of color,
like all the Badiana's out there's these babies out there.
I am you know, I'm so proud of all of you.
I'm so proud of everything that you're doing and just
stepping out in the world where we're constantly getting you know,
disappeared and harassed, and our rights are being attacked everywhere.
(43:20):
You know, just the fact that we can take a
bubble bath and take ten deep breath, that in itself
is beautiful because there's a little girl or a little
person out there who is looking to you and seeing
like you are peaceful and joyful and happy. And in
addition to that, you're being a batty and going out
there and get your dreams. But let's model self care.
(43:44):
Let's not just talk about it, you know, let's be
about it. And I think that that's a major thing
that I want to leave behind more joy, more peace,
and you know, and you're doing that. I'm out here
doing the best I can. I'm still struggling. I'm not
gonna allow to any of you, I'm sure dot com,
but I am blessed a f and I am you know,
(44:05):
I'm doing all I can to to share it because
if I don't share it, I am doing myself a disservice.
And I'm doing the batty honors of the world a
disservice because all of you need to remember how brilliant
you are and how much you deserve to be peaceful
and RESTful. And you know, take a napp you have
(44:29):
no idea. You have no idea, Manuela, Like how badly
I needed this conversation today. I know that are listening.
You need to hear myself, like we are so tired,
and I am like putting myself in I'm like, who
did this to me? I did this to me? I
signed up for this. I'm such a go getter, right
(44:50):
like you know, like this this is a message for
the go getters, Like I'm always doing everything because I'm
so scared of like missing out on an opportunity. You know,
and like I have that immigrant mentality still sometime times
of like the scarcity exactly, and it's deep because I'm like,
oh my god, if I don't do this, I'm gonna
miss out on like a huge opportunity. And the truth
is that you know your body needs you so badly,
(45:14):
and also it's gonna be okay. Thank you so much,
Thank you so much for spending the time with us.
Thank you for sharing your nuggets of wisdom. You are
so wise beyond your years. And I am so so
so lucky to have to have you as a friend
but also have you here as a guest. I love
you and share you, and I'm so excited about um
(45:38):
sharing what's coming up next for me. I am currently
performing in the Queensboro Dance Festival, so you can catch
one of the pieces about women self caring. We dance
with water, and we transform the domestic act of cleaning
into you know, cleansing the soul. We dance with water.
It's very beautiful. So we're gonna be touring that, um
(45:59):
and and I am going to be planning another screening
of my film Mari Theorra, which is all about the
ancestral lineage of these women in my life and that
is going to be happening soon. And um, I am
just like really excited to continue sharing the dance films
that I made and the work that I've made and
(46:21):
restaging like Leado at some point. I'm still working on
putting that together because it was brilliant and you can
you can find it online to like the there is
an article about it by The Queen's Courier to some
photos in there, there's some information about what it's about,
and you know, I just really want to find the
(46:41):
community that wants to help me make that happen again.
I did get some grants last year, but I definitely
want to make it happen again with you know, with
more Gusto and more more rest um. But yeah, that's
kind of what's happening and I'm hoping I can. We're
working on booking a theater here in the city in
Manhattan and just showing the film again. Um also did
(47:04):
a film about hair for women of color and just
different things I've made that I haven't put on the
GRAM because I wanted to be exclusive to the people
who want to show up in person. And that's it's
it's also important to protect your material because anything you
put online isn't always just your property, so I wanted
to make sure. So yeah, so that's what's happening. And
I'm excited too, just like continue sharing with you, Darylyn,
(47:27):
because this is a beautiful podcast and I've listened to
it and I'm so inspired by you and grateful for
everybody on the team. Thank you guys so much. And
you know you have a home here and you know
with me, girl, we batty. If people want to follow
your journey, Um, where do we follow you? How do
we find you? What do we do? Amazing? So you
(47:47):
can go on Manuela Guelo dot com for me and
my page. I'm very active on Instagram. So my Instagram
is underscore mango vich like sevich so v I c
h e UM and mango vich if you didn't know,
is a Columbian snack. We like to eat mangoes when
(48:07):
they're ring and we put lime and salt on it.
So yeah, mango each with a V I c h e.
And it's you know, I share everything there. I think
I'm most active there, so I'd love to follow you
guys and hear about what's going on and connect and
keep talking about all these important things. Lenola, thank you,
Thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart.
(48:28):
I love you, Sis, love you so much. Monnita is
a production of Sonato in partnership with I Heart Radios
Miluda podcast Network. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio,
visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.
Oh yeah, me Hinde. I just want to give you
a heads up. The program you are about to hear
may have some explicit language, it may not. It also
depends on where the vibes and the spirit leads us.
Hope you enjoy. Welcome to Morenita, a deep dive into
the Latin X experience. With more Anita, we want to
(00:22):
create a community and a shared space with you while
sharing knowledge and inspiration. This show is about celebrating our
culture with guests who exemplify the best of us. I'm
Darrylene Gastillo Ethane Veto. Not all superheroes were caps. Some
(00:44):
superheroes are changing the world one dance move at a time.
That's right, you heard me, dance moves and Manuela ag
is changing the game with her killer moves and loud presence.
Manuela the Colombian dancer, choreographer, model, actor, roller skater, activists
(01:06):
and cultural producer and She was raised in Queens, New York,
Stand Up New York. Her movement is influenced by Afro
Indigenous Colombian folk dances as well as street styles from
New York City. She holds two degrees, one in performance
arts and one in Social justice I mean, listen, I
(01:27):
just gave you guys a lot so off. You need
a moment to process all of her accomplishments. Take a
second press of rewind if you have to, because Manuela
is NonStop and she is a woman with a mission
on changing the world. She is truly unstoppable. Manuela and
I go in on the life of being an artist
and finding your voice. It's not an easy task, and
(01:50):
trust me, it's also something that I've personally battled with.
You feel all this passion inside of you, and you
want to create and you want to have a platform.
But sometimes as an artist, you struggle with what to say,
what to stand up for? Is what I have to
say important enough? Who wants to hear me? Manuela opens
(02:12):
up to us about how she's finding her evolving voice
and how that's helped her find success creating art in
the way that she wants to create art. We discuss how, yes,
the foundation of dance is extremely important, such as ballet
and institutionalized dance rooms, but it wasn't until she reached
(02:35):
her roots of her Afro Indigenous Sylumbian heritage where she
truly found her rhythm and her soul. This connection that
she began making helped her take off with multiple projects
when grants and produce and direct her own projects that
we will highlight and discuss. Something about manuela story that
(02:58):
I found so related well was through her hardships she
always found her positivity and how this was passed down
from her mother. Through the struggle, we push and we
fight with strength. But Manuela and I challenge this thought
as well, why must there always be a struggle? How
(03:20):
can we diminish the struggle for the future generation so
we can grow from the past generational trauma. This episode
hits on all of that, and after this conversation, I
felt so full, so inspired and to leave with light
and positivity, and I'm so curious what it's going to
(03:40):
leave you feeling? Fine? Vito, Well, well, well, my people,
you have a very very very very special person in
the room. Manuela. Welcome to Morenita. How you doing, my
dancing queen. I am managing my blessings. I am simultaneously
(04:06):
excited and looking forward to so much and simultaneously exhausted
and um, you know, working through trauma because yes, necessary,
all the necessary things. Um, I've already filled in our
wonderful listeners on the incredible things that you have done
(04:28):
and the things that you're doing and who you are,
and now this is like your moment to dive in
deeper and um, something that I had mentioned in the intro,
you know, is that you are a dancing superhero. Like
all the work that you do is for a reason,
(04:49):
and there's something behind it that is like a moving mechanism.
And I just want to know and like dig into
more of like how that became a part of you,
how that became like your focus. Um, especially during a
time with COVID. I think that's when your art started
really flourishing. And I think that that's a that was
(05:11):
a really difficult and it is still a difficult time
for a lot of people and a lot of artists
to push through. I think that the only right way
to do this is in true Manuala fashion and take
it all the way back. Because I don't know how
to answer questions in a very in small words. I'm
a very big word person. UM, So I want to
say that I think that when I was in high
(05:34):
school and I was sixteen, I knew that I always
wanted to be a performer and I always wanted to dance,
But it became very clear to me that the world
was on fire and I had to be somebody with
a bucket or with some sort of like ladder or something.
You know, if the world was on fire, I had
to be a part of taking care of everyone and
making sure that I could do everything that I could.
So I feel like when I was sixteen and I
(05:56):
realized that I wanted to do something within a realm
of social justice, I started struggling and figuring out, you know,
how can I continue to be a dancer and continue
to be an artist because that's my calling in my life,
but include the focus of social justice? How can I
(06:17):
uplift my community and provide for the people that I
care about so much? And that became this long extended
challenge that I resolved in college because I was able
to make my own major in college and I started
off in City College, like you no beavers go beavers,
So you were able to create your own uh program? Yeah,
(06:39):
So you know, I entered City College, I you know,
I was in International studies, and then I thought I
maybe able to creative writing, and then I ended up
in the theater department, and then you know, everything just
the math wasn't mathing, it wasn't adding up. I didn't
feel like I was doing specifically what I wanted, which
was are and creating social change. And I didn't know
(07:02):
how to do that until a classmate of mine UM
jokingly was just talking about his major, telling me all
about how he created it, and he said, why don't
you just make your own thing? Like you keep mentioning
all these things you like, all these topics that you
want to study. Just make your own major. That's what
I did, and you know, like a light bulb went
(07:24):
off in my brain because I've always been somebody who
creates her own path. I've never UM. I feel like
I've always had a match through the woods and hacking
my own path, like I've so hard, so it's accurate.
I feel like I'm through the woods just hacking a
path because there isn't one, and I don't want the
one that everyone else has, so I UM. I tapped
(07:47):
in immediately and found the Quene Buffaloure at School for
Unique and Interdisciplinary Studies and UM. It immediately became very
clear to me that I had the agency and the
autonomy to really design every class that I took, every
UM course that I wanted to take, and I could
(08:08):
also take it at any of the tune schools, so
I didn't have to only stay at City College, which
opened up the avenues to studying dance at the Hunter
Dance Department while taking anthropology class at City College UM,
and it opened up all these possibilities for me, and
I began to study my major, which was social justice,
(08:30):
and then my second major was performance art, so I
studied theater and I studied dance, and then I also
studied social justice, which I pulled classes from various courses
like Women's Studies, Latino Studies, Black Studies, UM, I did
Disability Studies. Because I did so many different courses that
really I think opened my mind and UM strengthened my
(08:54):
levels of compassion and understanding, and I think that that
was major for me. So at the beginning of school,
I was doing a lot of that academic work, a
lot of the writing, which I loved, and then towards
the end of my four years, I spent a lot
of time at the dance department at Hunter, which just
opened up its arms to me and was so amazing
(09:16):
about helping me get funding for my pieces and supporting
me in this journey of looking into my family and
into my family history, and that's where that kind of began.
And UM. While I was at City College, I also
took this class called UM Cultural Storytelling that was being
taught by the Legacy Arts Ensemble, which is a West
(09:39):
African storytelling group that incorporated percussion, dance, acting UM and
I actually became a part of that group. And the
big takeaway from being a part of that group was
to live your legacy and to dig deep into your
roots and to learn about who you are. And I
feel like in learning so much about the story of
(10:00):
enslavement in the US, UM, I began this really deep
introspection of you know, how did that affect my history
and my ancestry. And that happened to be a big,
big turning point for me and I UM began to
create work based on all these questions I had within
(10:23):
my ancestry. And the two pieces that I made in
college for my thesis were focused around my grandmother and
my mom and around just like leadership and women. But
I hadn't quite clicked the part of using my cultural
dance and folkloric Colombian dance as the aesthetic. I feel
(10:43):
like I was still stuck in Oh, I have to
make this look like contemporary dance that you know that
I've been taught. Um, I've been taught and it's been
so redundant that okay, like, if I want to make
it in dance, it has to be this these very
year eccentric dance forms. And you're talking like a jazz
(11:05):
like all those like you know, kind of the basic
one of one dance classes that you normally would take. Yeah. Yeah,
so UM, I feel like, UM, when I entered Hunter,
there was this bigger picture of you know, you can
do anything and it doesn't have to only be this.
And I also feel like my work with L A. E.
(11:28):
With like a CRTs ensemble, they also really were all
of their dance was afrocentric. And it made me remember,
you know that everything I was taught with my tech,
with my eurocentric techniques that I learned, it wasn't the
end all and be all. It wasn't the God in
the center of the universe. You know, it was a
technique that is in my toolbox that I can use
(11:49):
and UM, and that really started to you know, percolate
my brain and I made my pieces. Um, and I'm
very proud of the work that I did. But I
want to say that when I graduated college and when
I was out of school and I was in the
midst of the pandemic now where I couldn't be in
(12:11):
dance class, where I couldn't train, um, and I was
kind of in the vacuum of my bedroom. All I
had was my family at home. And then I started
listening to a lot of traditional music for fun and
UM asking my mom about, you know, the the history
of some of the songs that I was really liking
(12:33):
at home, like with Gumbia specifically, and you know, um,
I remember that there was this one Gumbia song called
Senaida and she started telling me about how it's this
beautiful poem that was turned into a Columbia and the
poem it talks about this Campasina, who you know, was
walking through the village selling her goods and she was
(12:57):
really old and she's still got up every morning to work.
And there was just something that really spoke to me
about that, something that told me, you know that there
is an oral history here. There is a very very
rich history in this. And I just went crazy into
this rabbit hole of of this history of Gumbia and
I started researching it and in my bedroom where I
(13:21):
was stuck, where we were all stuck. At some point
at the very beginning of this I I had this
epiphany where I found the history and I and I
learned that Glombia specifically is the dance of liberation for
my ancestry because in the times of enslavement in Colombia, UM,
(13:44):
you know parentheses for a little history check, so of
course we know that you know, enslavement didn't just happen
in the America's UM. It did happen in the America's
for the longest period of time UM for for Afro
diasporic peoples. But UM the port of Garta Hana and
Colombia had one of the highest number of UM African
people coming in UM. It had a very high number
(14:07):
for the Americas. And in that in those regions and
those coastal regions when enslavement was still something that was
being practiced. UM, there was also a large number of
indigenous people native people to the area, to to the
to the regions that were also being colonized. And we're
also experiencing a lot of hardship and cruelty and UM
(14:29):
and I feel like in the midst of that difficulty
and that hardship, there were there were still moments to
to celebrate. Kind of similarly, and I draw this line
all the time to what I learned about the about
Afro Usonian enslavement, which would be like Jubilee and Juba,
where at the end of the day they would still
find a way to celebrate and enjoy. I I connect
(14:50):
the Juba and the sense of its intention to Cumbia
because Gumbia was danced with a candle and it was
according dance of like love and flirting and just celebrating
and enjoying at this time of very difficult trauma. Um.
And it was this dance between the natives and the
and the Afro dis work people who now end up
(15:11):
becoming the Afro Colombians. UM. And you know, there was
enslavement and shackles, and that's why their feet are um.
That's why the dance, the quality of the movement within
the feet is is close together, so it's a small
little step because their feet were shackled. And that just
broke my heart. I was just I was so moved.
I kept thinking, Wow, like we celebrate this dance and
(15:33):
we don't even talk about how their feet were shackled
and now our feet are are free, but we still
do this dance and we hold this history of cumbia
Um within our bodies while we're doing this at home,
when we're when we're partying, when we're doing all these things.
But we never talked about it. And you know, that
just broke my heart and I said, Wow, they were
finding freedom in this moment while their feet were still shackled.
(15:59):
They were finding freedom by loving each other, by emboldening
their humanity through through moving their hips. So the feet
were shackled. But you know, you can't hold these hips.
You know what I'm saying that was that was like
these devites could don't lie. They gotta do what they're
gonna do. They don't lie. And I was so moved.
I said, Wow, their feet were bound, but they couldn't
(16:22):
bind their souls. They couldn't bind their love for each other.
They couldn't bind you know, even the drums, the percussion
that that my ancestors were they brought. You know, these
people brought, and they brought so much even though so
much was taken from them, And that is just a
huge highlight for me so in learning that history, I
you know, I started just putting on skirts in my
(16:44):
room and recording videos for fun and no longer for
you know, I'm so nervous about my dance career and
what that's gonna mean. And I kind of dropped that
fear all of a sudden, all this anxiety that I
had around you know, what am I going to do
with myself? And I just started having fun. And I
believe that the same spirit of play and celebration that
(17:06):
was in creating Columbia and turned my body and I said,
I'm gonna play, I'm gonna celebrate. I'm gonna enjoy myself
in my space with the people I love, and all
of a sudden, you know, and just this play I
started creating and I started sharing it, and everyone started
tapping in and asking me too, Oh, can you come
(17:29):
for cultural day at school and teach, you know, about
your culture and teach like a class. And then I started,
you know, bringing this research into the classroom or into um.
There was a Juneteenth celebration that invited me and wanted
me to share a little bit about this liberation story,
and you know, slowly, I just got so excited because
I said, this is mine, Like, nobody can take this
(17:52):
for me, you know. I I'm so happy that this
is something that I really just I grabbed it and
I said, Wow, nobody can tell me this isn't mine.
Nobody can tell me that I'm doing it wrong. Nobody
can tell me, you know, that there's something wrong with
what I'm doing. I felt so rooted in that. I mean,
(18:20):
everything that you just have said is you finding your purpose?
And I think that for many artists that's extremely difficult. Um,
what was your upbringing? How did that fold into who
you are today? And and all of this passion that
you just are zooting and speaking about and the knowledge
(18:42):
that you have. Yeah. So I think that for a
lot of people of color, when it comes to being
excited about social justice, it's because we're, you know, our
testimony as a direct result of all of the issues
that we're fighting for. And I feel like my experience
(19:03):
in immigrating at four years old, Um, I immigrated with
my mom. My mom was a single mom, and there's
so much there. There was so much poverty and difficulty,
you know, um, where we come from, even though we
were very joyful, had lots of family, had lots of
opportunity to coming um because my mom is also a dancer.
She had you know, her dance academy in Columbia, and
(19:26):
she had you know, this comfort of this community she
had built. But as a single mom, she said, you know,
I want I want more for my daughter. And I
feel that she dropped everything she had to make this voyage.
And we got here on September nine of two thousand one.
(19:47):
So we got here two days before the Twin Towers
came crashing down. And that was actually my mom's first job.
She was like cleaning rubble and cleaning dust. I think
back on that, and I think on how my mom
brought me here promising that I'm gonna go see Donald Duck.
You know, she said, man, has that happened? No? Have
(20:16):
I met Donald Duck? No? Oh my god. But you
know she told me that because this was a game
we were playing in a very dangerous game. This is
squid games. Okay, this is this is life or death.
And lo and behold we arrived, right, praise God, we arrived.
(20:37):
The TSH agent talks to me and says, Nina, like,
you know, not even were an American? Now, hey, little girl,
like where you going or likes whatever. I spoke Spanish.
I'm sure it wasn't Spanish. Whatever. Um, so he was
like like, where are you going? And I go to
see Donald Duck, so, um, you know we're gonna stay.
(21:00):
We we were staying with my aunt. Um, so we're here.
My mom is, you know, freaking out, so afraid, she
tells me like I was getting prepared for them to
separate us. I had all these different scenarios in my brain.
So because when my aunt immigrated, I have another aunt
who immigrated here who was taken to to jail prison.
(21:24):
She was incarcerated for a while for for trying to immigrate.
That was that she didn't do anything wrong. She was
just trying to be here. Um, and they took her
for many months and then she was sent back home.
We got here, and I feel like just experiencing the
first four years, and when I recount my life, I
feel like I really had to relearn what happened, because
(21:47):
I feel like my brain erased a lot of things.
And also my mom was the magician of no, we're
not you know, like when we got evicted once, what, No,
we're just we're having to sleep over slumber parties at
our friend's house and you know, and I think back
on that and I'm like, wow, my mom was playing
a game with me to make sure that I was
(22:07):
that I wasn't going through the same level of stress
that she was. She was trying to, you know, cover
it for me, and um, you know, we were hopping
around our friends houses and I was, you know, going
to school from different places for like a little while.
It was moments like that that I realized, Wow, like
the child of a single parent of immigrants, like, it's
(22:29):
such a challenging life. And I don't want to say
it's it's not even just that it's not easy. It's
specifically designed to be the most challenging. And I think
that in seeing that struggle and living it, I feel
like I'm I'm uncovering a lot of that trauma now
because growing up, my mom was just always present and providing,
(22:52):
and no matter what we did or like the you know,
the three jobs she worked, I got to school with
my hair slick, with my beauniform clean, and she always
made sure to make me breakfast and pack me lunch.
And I just think that that's insane, you know, I
think it's insane that she was working so many jobs
and doing so much and still trying to dance. Like
(23:14):
she was still like performing sometimes and like you know,
competing sometimes and like teaching dance classes. And she was
working at you know, she worked everywhere. She worked at
hair salons, she worked at dance studios, she worked, you know,
she did so many things. And I think back on wow, like,
despite all that, she still managed to make me breakfast
(23:35):
and do my hair and send me to school with
a clean uniform. Right, it also makes me think of Manuela,
Like as you're speaking and as you spoke previously about
the work that you're doing in the social justice and
how this one concept of finding joy, and it's so
interesting because it's something that's very evident in our history
(23:55):
as a Latina people, not only as Colombianos Dominican in
Puerto Ricane, just nothing the community itself and how we
deal with trauma and how we deal with these very
serious things that are happening around us. Yet your mother
was still able to get you to school, the clean
uniform would slick hair, and you would have these sleepovers.
(24:19):
You know that you wouldn't even know what's happening until
now that you're older. And something that is like really
fascinating to me as I'm listening to you speak, is
that right now, with what you're doing, it's almost like
you are untying all of that trauma. This or purpose
just keeps coming back to me. This purpose of like
(24:41):
in that explanation, right, because we don't need to explain
ourselves to anybody or prove anything or it's like we
know the real right, But you're actually like digging into
like the trauma and like and understanding it and those questions.
And I wonder if you're doing that because of everything
that you've been through and everything that you have have
gone through, you know what I mean. Yeah, And I
(25:02):
feel like, UM, through that, I'm also just coming to
these really amazing UM just teachings and learning and UM
just learning that so much of that trauma lives in
your body and lives in your habits and realizing that
you know, as I move and as I dance, and
as I share the knowledge UM and as I share
(25:25):
the technique or the stories through these dances now that
I'm doing right through the dances of gumbia or that
I've been learning um learning the rhythms, and I'm still
on that journey, and I'm still learning about the actual
um dances and histories because there's so many different dances
and so many different histories and traditions. And I feel
(25:46):
like as I'm sharing that and learning that I'm hoping
and and sending all my love and every time I do,
because I understand now more than ever that that trauma
that lives in your body it can be worked through
with movement, and that is that could be a very
(26:08):
meditative and healing art form. And the reason that I
believe in it so much is because of that history
where I think, Wow, these people were getting beaten down
and worked to death and they lit a candle and
they danced, and that was their therapy, you know, that
was what they had. They used what they had, And
(26:29):
I think that I'm trying to return to that in
that sense of I want to light that candle at
the end of the difficult time and dance and remember
that just being alone is a resilient act of resistance.
And I feel that in the world of activism, I
(26:50):
had opportunities where I was organizing the protests, leading the protests,
you know, organizing mutual aid and all those things are
so important to me, and I want to encourage all
of us to engage in them whenever we can. Um.
But in the same vein understanding it as an artist,
I also remind people, especially people who have these kinds
(27:13):
of histories where we've struggled so much, and I just
want to remind everyone, you know, just being and just
celebrating and just enjoying yourself is an act of resistance.
And I'm not saying that in the sense of, you know,
forget about everybody else and only enjoy yourself, But I'm
saying that in the sense of make sure that you're
healing and making your healing a priority, because if you
(27:36):
don't take care of yourself, you cannot possibly enact change,
and you cannot possibly help others heal or help others
be safe. Put on your oxygen masks before you put
one on somebody else, right, And I think that, um,
that is something that wasn't modeled for me. And that's
where I'm struggling as a human right now. Because my mom,
(27:59):
as you heard, did everything for me, for my brother,
for my family, and she continues to over extend herself
in this beautiful and selfless way, but she just has
only very recently been learning how to really self care,
really truly take care of herself, and she's working on that,
(28:22):
and it makes me so sad. And I think that
that pain of seeing her struggle and not seeing her
prioritize her pleasure or her safety or her joy, that's
broken my heart so much, and it's reminded me that
I don't want to continue that cycle, and I want
(28:43):
to encourage her to heal herself, and I want to
heal myself in this process and make sure that as
I'm processing this for myself, I'm reminding people that it's
so important for them to take care of themselves. Because
in seeing all that I shared with you know, our journey,
and through all of it, my mom was present for
me and in the most you know, prioritizing me in
(29:07):
selfless ways. And that's the way of a mother, and
it's the way of immigrant moms. And I just think
it's such a beautiful thing to see the sacrifices when
you've been displaced, and even if you like moved by choice,
it's like you're still far from everything that you know,
and you're learning the language, you're learning everything, and it's
I just can't imagine the level of of trauma that
(29:30):
she has still and the fact that it's unaddressed is
it is mind blowing. Right. I think that that brings
me specifically to the work that I'm making now, which
is about highlighting the stories of the ancestral women in
my lineage, because in seeing my mom struggle, I went
(29:53):
to my grandma and interviewed her and saw that she
did the same thing. And then I talked to her
about her grandmother who raised her, who did the same thing,
who just put everybody's needs beyond her needs, you know,
putting every everything in the family before yourself. Um. And
I think that that is what a lot of women
of color do. And I wanted to make work that reimagined, um,
(30:17):
what that could look like where we take care of ourselves,
and where I can think of a reimagined history where
my great great grandmother wasn't just you know, working herself
to death to take care of all her grandchildren who
she was forced to raise. UM. I wish that I
could reimagine a world where she did take care of
(30:39):
herself and where did where she did prioritize her peace
and her pleasure and her joy, and you know, and
maybe that could have changed the trajectory of our line
of women. And I think of how that trauma, that
physical pain lives in my grandmother and my mom, and
it lives in me, and how I to transform that
(31:00):
And all of the work that I did in the
film that I mean and in the production that I
put on, it was all about, you know, how can
I encourage these women who always put themselves last two
nurture themselves if they're often nurturing everybody else. You know
who nurtures the nurturer, right right? You know who heals
(31:23):
the healer? And I wanted so badly to just highlight
that joy in these women in my lineage and and
of course like bring that topic cross culturally and encourage
all women to feel that way. But for sure, um
within these aesthetics and these dances, and that's you know,
that's where I am now, because it's been a process
(31:44):
of just really wow, like how do I take care
of myself and then make sure I'm sharing that and
passing it on so that we can all enjoy that.
It's evident in your work. It's evident in the work
that you're doing, and it's evident that the work that
you're doing is not for the likes. It's not for
the Instagram, it's not for the Twitter, even though you're
getting all of that, which is incredible, but it's also
(32:07):
for you. It's like a healing process for you that
like we get to witness if we're lucky enough to
know you, we get to witness and to process and
to see that. And this is why I said you're
a freaking dance superhero. Um. I've known you since college,
so i've seen you from young woman grasshop. But so
(32:29):
you're coming into yourself and it's such a beautiful journey.
And I'm grateful that you've been a part of some
of my projects and you've brought that energy and that realization.
But I want to also thank you for sharing your vulnerability.
I mean, there's so much that we can go into.
I don't think this is the last time you'll be
on here, um, but I want to thank you for
(32:49):
sharing your vulnerable story of your family and something that
I think many of our listeners will um understand and
the inspired or bye, and we need to continue telling
our stories. So I thank you for telling your story
and for inspiring us all. This is the moment Manuela
(33:21):
that We've all been waiting for quick round questions. You ready, Okay,
I'm ready. If you could have dinner or coffee with
anyone alive or dead, who would it be? Oh my gosh,
what are you gonna do this to me? Oh my goodness,
I didn't even think about this. Um okay, no, honestly,
like no, this is yeah, this is unquestionably the answer.
(33:45):
I would like be so happy, so happy to sit
with my great great grandmother because she was seeing her
picture and seeing her you know, deep rich, dark chocolate skin.
It really it really grounded me and everything that I'm doing,
(34:08):
Like I wish she were alive to see how much
I literally worship her. I think she's just such a badass,
and you know, from the stories of my grandmother who
was raised by her, I'm just like wow, like she's
like she's a badass. Like I want to talk to her.
I want to know who her parents were. Nobody knows
who her parents are, and that's what kills me. I
(34:29):
don't know who her parents are, um, but I know
that either her parents or maybe her in her very
young years. Like when I look at the time that
slavery was abolished in Colombia, like there's a strong connection
with my great great grandmother, and I want to make
sure that I talked to her and get to know
her and remind her of how much I appreciate everything
(34:52):
she did um because I feel like she's just kind
of like floating in she definitely, Oh yeah, she right there,
She's right there next to you right now. Every time
I perform, I that was actually something I learned with
l A like before we perform, we like asked her
permission for the ancestors. And I feel like whenever I've
had performances, I'm always like, thank you for you know,
(35:15):
for for your labor. And I know that as a
as an old lady, she had a very difficult um
like her body was just really broken down from all
the labor, and I just, you know, I wish her
like a lot of like physical peace and healing and
um and seeing that, you know, I want I want
that healing to to continue, you know, I want that
(35:36):
to start with me. And I'm grateful because because of her,
I'm the one who was like, you know, I'm remembering
her and mentioning her and everything that I do. So
her name is Agit Pina. She has a crazy name,
but I love it like Mammy. I would love to
(35:56):
have dinner with your baby girl. Okay, that's beautiful. Okay.
Second question, favorite song right now to dance too? Oh
my gosh, um, I can't stop listening to the Bad
Bunny album. I had a feeling you're gonna say that Bunny,
(36:17):
you know I it's it's the truth. Um. I think
that roller skating to everyone is also a professional roller skating.
Oh my gosh, roller skating. So he lean those because
um Bomba studios on it, and she's from the coast
of Colombia. She's amazing. So um Bomba studio with Bad
(36:40):
Bunny hips lean those. That's okay. Someone gives you an
unlimited budget for a dream project, what would it be?
What's something you have tucked in your heart you'd love
to share with the world. Okay. So if I had
unlimited funds, I would set off on an exploratory journey
(37:05):
through Columbia to train with different masters of this craft,
and I would um sponsor a certain amount of artists
to bring back here to New York. And then I
would restage Legado Lodado, which was the first production that
I directed and for Due and I would restage it
(37:26):
with um this new found knowledge and these new dancers
and cantellodas and movers and and all these amazing artists
who I have here in New York and who I
would bring to also just extend the opportunity. I think
it's really big for me to extend the opportunity to
people who, um don't have the privilege of living in
New York. So I would love to do that. And
(37:48):
I would love to restage it here, do it in
like a huge venue, because I've done it in a
black box. Let's production all you that's what we need.
I would love for the cast to be all women
and non binary people, and I actually, UM, you know,
(38:10):
i'd love like a whole group of female percussionists like
that would be just like the dream UM and to
you know, put on together something that's very interdisciplinary and
have poetry definitely, have you know, monologues in there, like music,
a lot of live music. We want the whole production,
we want we want production value, yes, and then at
(38:32):
the performance, I would love to UM share whatever I
document through the journey of learning and being educated and
learning more and growing more through Columbia and kind of
show that as like the process, because I think it's
very important to share process um and to share you know,
the challenges of that process, so that I can encourage
(38:52):
other Battianas to come in here and do their things.
Not dead, but yeah, you know people that I'm I
love that like you can you can do it too.
I will ask you, how would you like your legacy
to be defined? What is that legacy for you? So
that is literally the premise of the show like Um,
(39:18):
because I wanted so badly for people to understand that
what I want to leave behind for sure is I
want people to heal the trauma that they have and
to address the trauma that they have, and to prioritize
(39:40):
pleasure and joy and peace and know that by doing that,
you model the behavior that you want your kids to have,
that you want your friends to have, and you want
your parents to have. And in nurturing yourself and caring
for yourself, there is just it's so radical, how radical
(40:04):
it is to love yourself in a world that constantly
is beating you down, in a country whose history literally
thrives off of you hating yourself. I think it's so beautiful.
Like the many lessons that I've learned from so many
incredible black women from here and from you know, afrodise
sport women from our Latin A community. Just I've learned
(40:25):
so much from them in the sense of it's so
resilient to take care of yourself, and I think that
that is the legacy I want to leave. I want
people to to dance, to enjoy, and I just want
people to remember that you don't have to dance to
be the best dancer. You can dance for peace, for love,
for joy, for your liberation. You don't have to sing
(40:46):
to be the best singer. You can sing with your family,
you can sing by yourself, you can sing to you know, stimulate,
simulate that vegas nerve, like release, release all of this
pain that's literally in our DNA from all of these struggles.
And I think that we are so focused on how
hard we have to work, and I think that how
(41:08):
hard we have to work isn't just this thing about
how hard capitalism tells us to work, but it's also
something that I feel within our activism communities were always like,
we gotta work hard and work, work, work to free everybody.
And I'm like, absolutely, But if something I learned from
organizing countless protests and being involved in this community. It's
that you burn out so fast that it's a marathon
(41:28):
not a race. Um. And in the long run, I
want to be healthy for the community that I want
to take care of. And I think that I'm struggling
dead ass full out. I am struggling with that. I
am not completely there, but I know that it's the
goal that I have and I want and I want
to encourage people so much, you know, to heal through
(41:50):
their arts and to indulge in the things that you
know bring you peace, because you know, life is short
and the lives of our ancestors mad are so much
that we should take care of the vessel that they made,
you know, they made us. And I think that, um,
you know, I keep thinking back on like wow, Like
(42:10):
when I'm so hard on myself, I'm really just beating
down that little girl who immigrated and didn't know how
to speak English, and that breaks my heart. I'm like,
I can't be mean to her, what, you know, after
everything she went through, you know, let me be kinder
to myself. And even this week was so rough and
so hard, and then when I get the chance to
talk about it, like this, I'm like, wow, I should
(42:32):
really slow down and take a minute and acknowledge what
I've done and remember that existing and just being, not
even doing anything, just being and like taking care of yourself.
It It is such an act of resilient, powerful, you know,
groundbreaking revolutionary change. And and I think especially all of
(42:56):
these women of color and all these envy baddies of color,
like all the Badiana's out there's these babies out there.
I am you know, I'm so proud of all of you.
I'm so proud of everything that you're doing and just
stepping out in the world where we're constantly getting you know,
disappeared and harassed, and our rights are being attacked everywhere.
(43:20):
You know, just the fact that we can take a
bubble bath and take ten deep breath, that in itself
is beautiful because there's a little girl or a little
person out there who is looking to you and seeing
like you are peaceful and joyful and happy. And in
addition to that, you're being a batty and going out
there and get your dreams. But let's model self care.
(43:44):
Let's not just talk about it, you know, let's be
about it. And I think that that's a major thing
that I want to leave behind more joy, more peace,
and you know, and you're doing that. I'm out here
doing the best I can. I'm still struggling. I'm not
gonna allow to any of you, I'm sure dot com,
but I am blessed a f and I am you know,
(44:05):
I'm doing all I can to to share it because
if I don't share it, I am doing myself a disservice.
And I'm doing the batty honors of the world a
disservice because all of you need to remember how brilliant
you are and how much you deserve to be peaceful
and RESTful. And you know, take a napp you have
(44:29):
no idea. You have no idea, Manuela, Like how badly
I needed this conversation today. I know that are listening.
You need to hear myself, like we are so tired,
and I am like putting myself in I'm like, who
did this to me? I did this to me? I
signed up for this. I'm such a go getter, right
(44:50):
like you know, like this this is a message for
the go getters, Like I'm always doing everything because I'm
so scared of like missing out on an opportunity. You know,
and like I have that immigrant mentality still sometime times
of like the scarcity exactly, and it's deep because I'm like,
oh my god, if I don't do this, I'm gonna
miss out on like a huge opportunity. And the truth
is that you know your body needs you so badly,
(45:14):
and also it's gonna be okay. Thank you so much,
Thank you so much for spending the time with us.
Thank you for sharing your nuggets of wisdom. You are
so wise beyond your years. And I am so so
so lucky to have to have you as a friend
but also have you here as a guest. I love
you and share you, and I'm so excited about um
(45:38):
sharing what's coming up next for me. I am currently
performing in the Queensboro Dance Festival, so you can catch
one of the pieces about women self caring. We dance
with water, and we transform the domestic act of cleaning
into you know, cleansing the soul. We dance with water.
It's very beautiful. So we're gonna be touring that, um
(45:59):
and and I am going to be planning another screening
of my film Mari Theorra, which is all about the
ancestral lineage of these women in my life and that
is going to be happening soon. And um, I am
just like really excited to continue sharing the dance films
that I made and the work that I've made and
(46:21):
restaging like Leado at some point. I'm still working on
putting that together because it was brilliant and you can
you can find it online to like the there is
an article about it by The Queen's Courier to some
photos in there, there's some information about what it's about,
and you know, I just really want to find the
(46:41):
community that wants to help me make that happen again.
I did get some grants last year, but I definitely
want to make it happen again with you know, with
more Gusto and more more rest um. But yeah, that's
kind of what's happening and I'm hoping I can. We're
working on booking a theater here in the city in
Manhattan and just showing the film again. Um also did
(47:04):
a film about hair for women of color and just
different things I've made that I haven't put on the
GRAM because I wanted to be exclusive to the people
who want to show up in person. And that's it's
it's also important to protect your material because anything you
put online isn't always just your property, so I wanted
to make sure. So yeah, so that's what's happening. And
I'm excited too, just like continue sharing with you, Darylyn,
(47:27):
because this is a beautiful podcast and I've listened to
it and I'm so inspired by you and grateful for
everybody on the team. Thank you guys so much. And
you know you have a home here and you know
with me, girl, we batty. If people want to follow
your journey, Um, where do we follow you? How do
we find you? What do we do? Amazing? So you
(47:47):
can go on Manuela Guelo dot com for me and
my page. I'm very active on Instagram. So my Instagram
is underscore mango vich like sevich so v I c
h e UM and mango vich if you didn't know,
is a Columbian snack. We like to eat mangoes when
(48:07):
they're ring and we put lime and salt on it.
So yeah, mango each with a V I c h e.
And it's you know, I share everything there. I think
I'm most active there, so I'd love to follow you
guys and hear about what's going on and connect and
keep talking about all these important things. Lenola, thank you,
Thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart.
(48:28):
I love you, Sis, love you so much. Monnita is
a production of Sonato in partnership with I Heart Radios
Miluda podcast Network. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio,
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Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.