November 16, 2021 • 34 mins
Take a deeper dive into the “Spicy Method” as the women discuss compatibility, commitment and building the foundation for a healthy relationship with Spicy Mari. Listen as the Women of Wild N’ Out reflect on past relationships and learn how to identify when they’ve found their “purpose mate.”
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the women while in Now podcast you guys
the Girl Anybody Girl Pretty Welcome to the women While
and Out podcast. These guys are the ladies and While
and Out Control somebody you body to get your show.
Hello ladies, Tonight we're gonna have the women a while
(00:23):
in podcasts on the Cars, y'all, we are back to
the women on our podcast, Part two with Spicy Mighty
Gang Gang Gang Gang Gang My Girl Bretty a Girl
Pretty V. We had a really good conversation in the
last episode, so we just asked her, could you please
stay another thirty forty five? Pretty had some questions. But
(00:46):
before we get into it, if you guys did miss
the last episode, please watch it um and catch up.
But if you decide not to, I'm gonna let you
introduce who you are. Yes, I love EV. Thank you
for the intro. I am a Spicymody relationship expert, Magnetic
Matt Maker, founder of the Spicy Life Relationship Consulting Firm,
where I provide relationship coaching and of course matchmaking UM.
(01:07):
I provide a ninety day five phase program based off
of my Spicy Method, which is self passion, intimacy, communication
and learning to say yes, I hope you just enhance
and use the power of your passion to attract your
purpose mate. And if you are with your purpose mate,
I hope you guys grow, strengthen the relationship, and hopefully
(01:28):
lead to marriage. And then I when I have a
married couple comes to me, I'm hoping them through some
of the challenges so that they don't get a divorce.
So I said this in a previous episode, but I
love when you say my purpose is, what is your purpose?
My purpose is I'm looking to restore the family unit.
My mission in life is to break generational curses and
restore the family unit. I want every single person to
(01:49):
believe back in love, not to date and operate from
a place of fear or hate anxiety. I don't want
any of those negative emotions associated with our relationships. And yes,
we all are irving of love, but first we have
to believe it, so it starts with our belief. And
I help you guys with the belief. Yes, and what
do those what do those behaviors look like? Asked me
that one of the first times we had a conversation.
(02:11):
But when I was first started dating Chris were like,
are you operating out of fear. I was like, absolutely
not becauld you like, if you get if I get hurt,
I just get hurt. I'm not going to go into
the mindset what if he does this. Look, I'm going
in acting like none of that can even happen. And
if it happens, we go from there, but you don't
go into it correct operating out of fear. And what
I also appreciate about your relationship to is that, yes,
(02:32):
you are a confident woman, but he contributes to that
by doing things that make you feel secure. And when
we address that Chris has done something that may not
make you feel the safest, he is like, Okay, let
me overcorrect, let me solve for that. And that's a
sign of a healthy relationship versus the man who's going
to be like you're to blame? Is you you're insecure? Yeah,
he will take accountability and that's a great sign. So
(02:55):
I was like, I can work with this couple. I
know you guys are purposes. But basically had an audition
for her walk and she's like, how together wasting no time?
This is not she told me, like one of our
first conserlations, she's like, this is my purpose. I do
not deal with people who aren't willing to grow, who
aren't willing to change, who aren't who are going to
waste my She's still be on my ass, like you
don't miss three sessions just I'm taking you don't pay
(03:16):
me for this month and don't talk to me to
your I'm like, I'm ready. She's like, if you're not
gonna take yourself growth serious, you're wasting my time. Where
if my mission is to bring generational curses and you
over here replicating things that aren't healthy for the relationship,
or what are we doing? Why are why are we here? Yes,
it's just like it's more than the money for me.
(03:37):
It's about my clients, like excelling and achieving their goals
because they are I do take a personal their reflection
of me. And so if they're not doing well, okay,
well well how do I need to show up better
for them? And maybe I need to be more in
her ass? So I need to I need I have
to govern each couple or each single based on what
they need in order to be motivated and get the
message and be needs a lot. I have a question,
(04:02):
please do ask spies sexes? I used to roxy I
think for me my question. I don't know if it's
a question, but I think it is. But someone, you know,
guys come in your life, you know, to just be
for a season, for the season of love, season of
being kind and protect you at that time. Um, but
(04:26):
like why is it like is it just like that
just person is just there? I mean, I don't know
how to explain it, because I know I have guys
who've been in my life just not forged to be
with me, but just to help me maybe just learn, learn,
figure some things out. Yeah, so our relationship shape us.
So I'm a firm believer that each person is put
into your life for a reason. Now you can learn
(04:47):
from that reason and it be a learning lesson, or
you can see it as a loss, and that's when
you feel like I took an l was a waste
of my time. Why did I mess with him? Oh
my god, I'm so heartbroken. But if you look at
it from that perspective, you're not gonna grow with that perspective.
You have to look at it from the Okay, what
mistakes did I make? Why did I choose him? What
was it about me that chose him? What did he
offer that I want to keep are we were we
(05:09):
in alignment? Did he cross my deal breakers? Like that's
when you need to start assessing the core values and
deal breakers in a relationship so that you can govern.
And then if you can look at it from a
learning lesson, what am I going to do differently next time?
What am I going to accept and tolerate? Where am
I going to bend? Where do I need more flexibility?
You're more likely to have better relationships moving forward. Each
(05:29):
relationship should be elevating. If you're going backwards on each relationship,
not even stagnant. I want growth only, Like yeah, yeah,
they should not be this. They should not all be
the same, treating you the same. You shouldn't be settling
for the same things. Like there's some self worth things
going on if you were experiencing that. And so oftentimes
(05:50):
it's not the man. It's not that there's not enough.
It's who we choose and why we're choosing those people.
And it's so crazy because I prayed and I say,
you know, father, bring someone to love, and that's going
to just you know, treat me right. You know, one
of these days I want a kid. You know, what
do you think I did? Oh my god, God always
(06:12):
shows up and he's always showing me. You know, I'm
just asking a little bit of questions, just talking to somebody.
But what she already expressed on numerous episodes, um, it's
very new. They dated previously. But he is so sweet.
I love that. And she is just so like guarded
and scared and like hold on, give me a minute.
(06:34):
And she's taking our time, which I understand. Good, take
your time, you know. I'm like, man, I was on
FaceTime with him. I was like, oh my god, he
treats you just laugh at all your stupid jokes. I'm like,
that's not even funny. If he treats you like a queen,
I'm I'm here for it. We should not be sleeping
when anybody who does not worship us, that is a
waste of our time. You get to a certain place
(06:55):
right when you're young. Okay, fine, get it out of
your system. Learn from that. But at this point, if
you're looking for a healthy relationship or something real, don't
waste your time for anyone with anyone who doesn't worship you.
I only take worship like my time of compromise and
community service that was in my community. One of her
makes us build this pizza. I'm gonnat her explain it.
(07:16):
So I want you to build a pizza and breed
to build because I would be able to in my session. Okay,
we're gonna don't be scare. So this is a good exercise.
Ladies do this at home, and gentlemen, it will help
you when it comes to navigating who you should be
with and who you shouldn't. Right, there's so many things
people will tell you make a list of this, a
hundred things, and you're like, I don't know how to
navigate this. The pizza is simple. So we have the crust.
That's the foundation. What is his character in order for
(07:38):
him to just be a good person and us respect him.
We're not talking about anybody, just man in general. The
next layer is the sauce. How does he have to
treat me to make me feel good? And then the
next layer is topings? How does he have to look
for me to want to rip his clothes off? So
we're gonna go crust first. What's the foundation? Give me
the five qualities that you need in order to believe
he's a good person, just a good human, not your man,
(08:00):
just a good human and respect him. Um one um,
spiritual okay, spiritual to um, loving his mother? Um. Three,
I would say very attentive okay um for um someone
(08:22):
who cares about guys, don't Is that the same thing
as being attentive? No, he can be an attentive man.
He's not gonna intentive man to you because you don't
know him. Just his chrust. You're talking in general to
respect him. Um. Yeah, definitely loyal okay, Um. Trustworthy okay um,
that's five, because loyal trust were there are two different things. Okay,
so you said you're five. Now you're gonna give us
(08:44):
the sauce? How does he have to treat you? So?
Now I've found this man, I said, Hey, I got
a good person for you. He's a he has a
good heart. Here he is. Now, how does he have
to treat you for you don't want to be with him?
How does it make you feel well? I mean I
would go by just the queen like I want you
to dude. In general, we can't just say do everything.
(09:10):
I say, what do you need? What does what do
you need? In order to feel good with this person?
I definitely want to be loved on. I want to
be affectionate like I would like affection action, it towards me. Um,
hear me, you know, listening to listen to me, communication, um, um,
support me, um, pray with me. Um. I need one more.
(09:39):
How does he treat you? What's he do for you?
How does he make you feel? Um? I mean I
think just being a positive person. I think. I don't
know if that's something positive motivation, your motivation. Okay, I
don't know if that goes with the support, but positive
motivations like affirmations and just like speaking life, speaking life
(09:59):
in to me. Okay, beautiful, now you get feeding me.
That was the crust. We got the crust and the sauce.
That was the foundation who he is. And now how
he treats you? Last part of toppings. How does he
have to lock in order for you to be sexually attractive?
Part physical? Let me be very honest. I you know,
very masculine was the dark skin. I always say more
(10:20):
was chest masculine, dark skin, those two different things. Yeah,
so that's just what I That's what I loved. But
I knew when I ran into those type of guys
it was more so playing a game, you know. Um,
But you know, very mask and that's one masculine Um,
gotta be good looking. I don't know, you can't just
(10:40):
I don't like Yeah pretty of course, Um muscles, that's
masculine the same thing, or that masculine is not necessarily muscular,
that's fit two different things us. Yeah right, pretty pretty teeth.
I'm not how to dre I gotta know how to Yeah, fashionable? Um,
(11:04):
one more, how's it looking? Nice? Smile? Okay, that smile? Okay,
So we take that pizza. Now, we don't date anyone
who's not that pizza. However, the toppings are interchangeable because
if it's got the crust and the sauce, is still
a good freaking pizza. So we can compromise the toppings, right,
because you're still gonna get fed, you're still gonna get nourished.
(11:24):
So we don't date, and we don't keep people in
our lives after we've experienced them who's not the pizza,
because if not, we will not respect them because you
just wasting times? Not spiritual? What am I doing? Yeah
you just told me? Yeah, why are we still lingering
in this relationship? And one more? He has to no music. Music,
that's just that's one of my biggest things. You have
to know music. I'm talking to this guy and he
(11:46):
told me future was an army singer. Slam gona slap
my six and you know people got one little hand. Yeah,
little pinky tellers you want to put in there. But
I love that it makes it easier to navigate when
we get to confuse. There's too many options out there.
This is how we narrow it down when you're looking
(12:07):
for your purpose, when you're looking for your one, this
is how you narrow it down. Don't be doing this
with situation ships and you know if boys and all like,
this is just when you're in that zone of I
want something real, use your pizza. Yeah, And I don't know,
I keep not I keep thinking about groom hard worker
comes to you. It can change right now. We put
you on the spot, so come, you know, thinking off
(12:29):
the top of your dome. But these are things that
you should know, because if you don't know these are
there's a million other things. Yeah, these are the things
compromise on. Yeah, and you know you can revisit it
and edit it. But don't go out there dating blindly
and then like, I don't know why I didn't get him, Well,
you didn't know what you wanted like, so this helps,
this helps you actually build out what you need. And
(12:49):
then following that manual, so it's called my Little Spicy Pizza.
It wasn't that bad. See, But now you're thinking, like,
Dan is the guy I'm talking to this good bye?
We keep him? Yeah, and what I'm thinking about him,
it's like, yeah, he's everything on the pizza. He's everything
on everything. If he's everything on the pizza, you better
behave at an act according We don't. We don't message alright,
(13:15):
y'all All right, y'all not know, we'll be right back.
When it's the pizza. We stand up straight, we act right, Okay,
we don't play. X will come back, people will like
try to get our attention, will try to come in. Yes,
he would definitely come and try to do some things.
A girl, I don't like pizza you no, no, no, alright?
(13:41):
The crest. The five things you need in order to
respect him A good person, um well obviously like being
able to distribute respect in general to people and families. Um,
someone that's hard working, hardworking, someone that's is probably committed,
and that can be in all forms kind of um
(14:02):
committee of someone taking pizza. You can't have pizza girl. Um,
not someone that can actually communicate, communicate emotions aside emotional intelligence. Yes, okay,
doesn't that count as different? It wouldn't that be my
five if I feel like it's that's different. That's not
about communication is a healthy Communication is a part of
(14:24):
emotional intelligence, But there are different thing It could be
a great communicator, but not it tapped into your emotions
or understand others. So that makes it harder to communicate.
But professional communicator. So we're gonna keep that. We're gonna
keep communication and emotional intelligence because there's two variants of that. Okay,
now we're gonna go to your sauce. How does he
treat you so you just want to date with them?
How did he make you feel? What does he do
for you to keep you satisfied? Um? Conversation conversation? Um?
(14:50):
What does it mean? What do you by conversation conversation? No?
Like real conversation? Yeah, like not like how is your day,
how's your mom? Whatever? I know, like we need to
like can we sit here and really have a conversation
at dinner? Or is this surface level bullshit that I
could could just go talk to you about whoever? Um?
(15:11):
What else it Why has it makes me feel? Um,
I guess like comfortable. Okay, you're comfortable with him. I
feel like for me. I usually I'm like I sit
and I wait, and I watched people before I decided
to let my wall down to be comfortable to really like,
you know, get into that. What else? Um, you get
(15:33):
three more? Ship? Uh? It makes me feel huh yeah,
like opening my door. I don't see that ever, girl,
I don't know where you're hanging out. Okay, okay, I
mean I feel like that would be great. Um, someone
that pays attention, like to detail into small things. Um,
Like I had someone order for me and I was like,
(15:54):
how the hell do you remember that we came here
five months ago? Love that? Um? You get more? Make
me feel like like safe in the sense that I
can trust you in a situation as a human, friends,
family or whatever. Trusting. Yeah, And then the last thing
is topping. So you're gonna give us what does you
have to look like in order for me to work
(16:16):
on this my damn self? And guys that are not
attractive at all? Um, And that's okay if they treat
you amazing, but if they don't dreat you amazingly. Yeah. Yeah,
that's where I was like, hold the hell, I gotta go. Um, Okay,
I will say definitely smile for me, I feel like
(16:42):
smile smile. Um. Tattoos is a thing for I don't
know what it is. I was on here yesterday something
that tattoos. It usually means you're a problem in your trouble.
I love. I just want like supermanly gotta be like
you know if it fits, so definitely fit someone that
(17:04):
could come and share that with me. Um. I wouldn't
say tall, but I think you get two more? Um
what they look like? What they look like? Tell her eye?
Skin tone like dark? Okay, chocolate and then bless you
get one more? Come on chocolate ship like one more?
(17:27):
I guess Really it's a smile on the teeth for me,
I feel like that's you can just choose. You just
want those four. You could just choose those four. Okay.
So you have your toping, you have your sauce, you
have your crest. Whether you're considering marrying again or dating
or even letting someone inside of you again. He needs
to be the pizza. If we can't trust him, why
are we sleeping with him? So if he can't communicate.
(17:49):
Why are we sleeping with him? If he's not chivalrous?
Why are we sleeping with him? Like? What are we
doing it for? What void are we trying to feel?
So when you have your pizza, it helps you and
directs you down. Okay, you're a keeper or I'm gonna
throw you back to the sea, throw you back to
the sea. And sometimes we gotta throw them back because
it's about knowing, like if you're just supposed to be
(18:09):
a lesson in experience or my lifetime, and so this
helps us dictate that. I do have a question about that.
So what's the difference? We were saying? Purpose? Purpose mate?
Purpose mate? What about twin flame? What about Like what
are this? There's so many twin flame and this purpose?
And I think there's one more twin flame I heard
from a psychic and it's scared the hill. Why what
(18:32):
does it mean? Because she just like grabbed me at
a pumpkin patch and I was like, why, who are you?
What are you doing? And like she went into this
whole thing and started telling me all these crazy details
and she just freaked me out. What's the twin flame? Though?
Your twin flame is like someone who you have this
deep burning connection with, you might me ne them in
another lifetime. They feel similar to a soul mate, except
(18:52):
for your twin flame. You may not necessarily end up
with them or belong with them. So you guys may
go your separate ways, or something pulls you back together.
Um like old girl over here who said she met
him six years ago and back with him, and I'm
putting on the spot, but I'm just saying, like it
could be. But she was saying that it's scared the
(19:12):
heck out of her, and I'm like, well, it shouldn't
be scary, but somebody, yes, he does. But when someone
to come out you with real details, like specific details
that we sometimes we don't always help with our twin flame,
they're not always like the best person was definitely such
a deep connection that they keep pulling us back, and
sometimes you have to know when to walk away, like
any relationship from someone, but those are going to be
(19:34):
a little bit harder than, of course, any any other one. Yeah,
and I think building has a friendship to you know.
That's why even with you know my friend that I'm
you know, Yeah, I just think to you when you're
in that right place at that time, you know, so
(19:54):
you when God brings you you and you're back together,
it is he the like Spicy said, to be the
friends you know or y'all just go you know, go
ahead type of ways. Or timing is so important and
that's a part of compatibility. If you meet a great person,
looks great on paper and makes you feel amazing, and
unfortunately they don't want a relationship, it's bad timing, Like
(20:15):
you can't want what they don't want. You guys have
to be on the same page. And that little time
thing you're talking about that the lady does say it
like one thing is to like when you do all that,
sometimes the enemy come to destroy a lot of stuff too,
so you gotta look out for those things too. You
gotta be like is it for my is it healthy?
Or you're just coming to knock on my dought and
call some drama that's all you really want to talk to.
(20:36):
That's where it got me because when she came to
tell me, I was messing with two individuals at the time,
and I was like, oh fun, she's in my head
and I don't know which call I made. Because at
the end of the day, I was like, I don't
know if that was the right choice. I don't know what.
And then you like revisit it and you're like, okay, well,
technically the definition of between flame is not ideal and
these situations are not ideal, but yet that's more ideal
(21:00):
for me that I feel like you're more ideal. So
it's like that weird and you're like okay, and I'm lost.
Say you had to decide based off of like who's
more in alignment with the relationship goal of your goals
to be in a healthy relationship? Okay, who healthy? Healthy?
Who treats me the best? Who makes me feel the
loved and the most safe and secure? Who is my pizza?
Because both of them, I doubt are identical in the pizza,
(21:23):
so like they probably had two different things that you
liked about them. Usually one gives us a lot of
passion and the other gives us a lot of security.
And so we're trying to battle on jugo. Should I
be with the person who's gonna make me feel safe,
they support me, they take care of me, they're gonna
be there forever. The person who gives you butterflies? The
person who I want to slash them tires for, like
(21:45):
what do you say if a guy was like, um, so,
what makes you feel like you deserve commitment? Why are
you so special that one guy should be committed to
only you? First of all of us women in the
human species, we are special, We are good people. The
question is not what makes us so special that we
do commitment. It's about the man, right, It's about you
being in alignment with someone who values commitment as well.
(22:07):
And so we have we've got to just find somebody
who wants commitment. Yeah, but we've got this argue with
a man who wants polygamy. Right, We've got the idea
that we have to earn commitment now because society is
trying to tell us there's not enough men. If we
look at the world population, right, let's not break it
up ethnicity, but we look at the world population, there's
more than enough men to go around. Based on the
(22:31):
challenges that we don't want to step outside of our
type and our comfort zone to be with what's healthy
for us. A lot of us want to eat our
candy when we should be eating our vegetables. So we're
compromising so that we can net what we think, what
we want versus what we need and so men will
try to convince us like, well, I should be with
you know, twenty women, because you know I'm this, you know,
superior man or value man. And the truth of the
(22:53):
matter is is if he's not in a linement, if
he doesn't have enough self regulation, if he doesn't value
commitment or believe that you are worth the commitment, why
are we compromising our values for him? He's not enough
like he and we would never be satisfied if we
compromise that for some unless we want that for ourselves.
If we want to swing, if we want open relationship,
go for it, go for it. Don't do it because
(23:14):
the guy you like is doing correct, Do it because
that's what you desire. I'm not going to compromise cheating.
I'm not gonna compromise lying or honesty or all the
I'm not gonna compromize any of these other I'm not
gonna comproize communication for him. Like, if these are the
core values that we need in our relationship, then why
are we compromising these things? We're gonna be unhappy all
the time. So what about the man that says we're
just wired this way? I just this is the way
(23:35):
we are. We deserve to have multiple women. And la la, la,
la la. I feel like I hear this all the time.
I said, you ain't wired in no way like Okay,
my sex drive could be highed too, and higher than hers,
and yours could be higher than his. But what do
you mean you get? That's a social construct that society
telling him, or him wanting to emulate his father or
the father that wasn't there, and him feeling entitled to
(23:58):
certain things that he feels like I should have, I
should overindulge. But what happens when we overindulge with anything
that we overindulge in too much of anything you can
get you feel late at night. Usually we're doing these
from a place, from a void. There's usually something within
him that he can't operate from self control because honestly,
(24:21):
us as women, we want to sleep with a gain
of people too. If I accepted every offer and every
dick that was thrown my way, my marriage will not
work out. Because let me tell you, even pregnant can
still get that, can still get it. But the point
is that I operate with self control, and as humans,
that's what makes is different from animals. That's why we're
the superior species because we can govern ourselves and the
(24:44):
world is our oyster. But what are we going to
take advantage of and what are we going to with
thrain from in order to get our needs and to
get to our goal. Twenty women are going to distract
you from becoming the best version of yourself. If you're
a man who's trying to just be out there and
put your dick in anything, it's not that's not God's
purpose for your life. I'm sorry, simple be with somebody
who agrees with your lifestyle and value. Yes, it's too
(25:05):
many bitch bitches, too many beautiful queens that want commitment,
and you're dating a guy with twenty other girls, and
you know that just date a guy that wants commitment.
It's too many guys that want girls that don't want
to swing. And it's like they girls who want to
do that, but men have convinced us that because there
(25:26):
is that there's a deficit, and so because of that,
we're acting from a place of hunger and desperation. Like
when we think there's not enough food to go around,
we're gonna we're starving to take whatever we'll take. And
you also got to know too, who's uh, who's masking
themselves as well? Would be good in the beginning, and
then that's when I'm beating stuff happening at the two
(25:48):
in the morning, and you start whatever that nice stuff
says happen. The doors will be open for so long.
But it's a lot of people, even friends and everyone,
they mask themselves until it gets deep, until you get comfortable,
you're started living with each other. It just depends on
who you are. You go slow, though, remember you said
in your relationship you're going slow right now. It's you
develop first the friendship. If you're not a good friend,
(26:11):
you can't be a good lover. I'm sorry. If you're
not a good friend to me, and I'm seeing how
you treat your friends, how you treat your family, how
you treat the world, how you treat your job, your colleagues,
you're not gonna be good to me. At some point
you're gonna turn on me too. So either you're an
honorable person or you're not. And we can't move so
quick into intimacy physical, emotional. We can't throw all of
our eggs in that basket until we know what we're
signing up for. And that's why I am moving slow.
(26:37):
I'm moving slow, and I'm taking my taking my time,
and I have been trying to proclaim. She's trying to
I love it, but you and I'm just saying, if
he's your husband, he needs to prove it. Yeah, and
that's why we're taking prove it. You anybody that when
a man says that he wants to be your husband,
(26:59):
or I'm gonna take care of you, or I'm gonna
show up for you this way, prove it, always something,
prove it. I'm about action, baby, Yeah, and he's all
about that, Gussie. He got some big shoes to feel now,
because I'm gonna come back and be like, Okay, where's
the ring? Yeah? But um, any last words before we
(27:23):
wrap up? Another question? You know, so um spicy. She
got to her quote. What we do an inspirational quote
before you have to give us the quote? Okay, my
favorite is oh glasses and yeah, ask and you shall receive,
Seek and you shall find, knock and the door will
(27:44):
be open. Thank you. I contact contact or is bad sex?
Is bad sex? I'm like, I'm still trying to have
some good sex. High contacts or bad sex or seven
mm hmmm, alright, you guys in a while on our podcast.
(28:05):
We're gonna take a break before we do. Spicy tell
the people where they can find you. You guys can
always play with my Twitter or stroke my Instagram at
Spicy Moody s p I c Y M A r
I or go to the Spicy life dot com and
clicking subscribe go listen to my podcast as well. Um
a schedule free consultation with me, um, but the next
one will be paid guy after Yeah, we just wrapped
(28:35):
up with Spicy Mighty relationship expert. Please het her up
if you have any questions. Consult is free. After that,
you gotta pay, baby taking all my money because she
helps me so much. I love her so much. Thank
you so much for that, Spicey. She done drop some
gym from gym. She's so educated and she has a
degree in communication, so she's not just talking from BS.
She's talking from experience research and you know, and I
(28:57):
love with someone about God. Yeah, that's talking about it.
So that's what we need. Know you. I'm so happy
for you, though. Are you taking the time to master
and organize your relationship? If you want to be good
at anything, you have to focus on it. Yeah, if
I want to be about it. Now. I gotta practice jokes.
If I want to be getting rapping, I gotta write wraps.
(29:18):
I want to be good at relationships any nobody. I
asked my dad this and my grandmother recently, I said,
why did no one in the family ever sit me
down and say you're gonna date one day? This is
how you I did. I learned that from my friends
who was in toxic relationship. I learned from TV. I
learned it from just doing it. Nobody in my family
actually set me down and said, Okay, you're gonna be
(29:39):
a young lady one day when you go on your
first date. Crossed your legs, he opened. Not one person
ever talk to me about And then sometimes they don't
know and they know, good luck because I'm times. But
now you can never you can. Now you can do
the self working at and like you said, whatever you want,
if you desire to be um, just have a life partner.
(30:00):
And I think that's beautiful. Just the beautiful part is
finding somebody that wants the same things that you. So
I think whatever you want, you deserve to have that.
Whether it's polyamory, whether it's being single forever, whether there's marriage.
But you know the fun part is when you're getting
with somebody that don't want that, you know, and you're
deceiving them and all that. So just some old school
find somebody that wants what you want and everybody will
(30:22):
be happy. Hip. I am old school. Shoot, one person
can be committed to you and that's who you want.
And that's where we're gonna slide with up and down
ugly bad. You know, it's never gonna be peachy. You
may have a water bottle that's gonna get flown over
and like you, I'm going up stairs, you know and
(30:45):
shut the door, slamming water bottle, you know, or something
like I want that the baby shot flying over like
I didn't sold you that I didn't want to eat that.
You know, it's gonna be up at that or get
a twist era. You may have to go, you know,
you may have to go outside and this being ever
gonna be perfect. They're just gonna throw a water bottle
at you still, like maybe just at the wall because
I'm sorry, I'm frustrated and I'm angry. I thought we
(31:06):
were gonna get married. You won't be like that. But
marriage is not always perfect though, I'm talking about you
throwing stuff. Oh, I mean I may throw like I'm
still got and I'm saying I may throw like you know,
that's just not at him, but it may be out
of anger, and I may have to make myself in
a situation center myself to say, you know what, that
was wrong. Let's talk about it. That's what it is.
(31:28):
Because you're not to throw it, you're at it, because
if you're with me, you I ain't gonna edge. I'm
having sex with John. I just threw a water butt
fo episodes Who John? I don't know who? That's the
baby's name. Yeah, I don't. I ain't going on. I
ain't run sleep with nobody. At least you could do
was just hear me out and take a second doctor
(31:49):
it after the water bottle after not mad alright, I
don't tell you to pat the tax on the car
wives late. Oh I was out there, Okay, just no,
you're not going to go through that. Well, you know,
things do happen. So in the midst of you having
spicy to be your merit, your your relationship council, things
(32:12):
are gonna be up and down. But you have to
in your mate has to come as one as a
union to figure it out. And it's not gonna be
just this conversation or talking. You may have something that's yo,
but all right, baby, I love you. When I fight
with my people's or someone I loved and that person
sent to me, in my mind, I'd be like, oh,
I want to yell at you, but then it's just like,
all right, cool, Like I get you. You know. I
(32:33):
got that situation where you know who and we were
talking and I was like, I'm mad, and that dude
ain't even just he didn't come back at me the attitude.
He was like, I love you, have a great day.
Come when you're fine. So that's the that's right, And
that's too like you ain't cool. You let me and
then you ain't gonna say that absolutely not girl, And
(32:54):
it's like no, no, I'm not gonna say nothing. So
you know, stuff happened. My uncle and my aunt been
married for so many years, you know, and I've seen
them argue, but I also seen oh yeah, you know
um and they had up and down. But what he did,
he loved on her even in an arguments. You know,
(33:16):
I love that fifty years and holding your wrinkled hands.
What they do famo. Any last words and the last word.
Who's doing the toast? Well, I do it. I actually
have one today. Okay, all right, This above all should
Thyself be True? I think that's why I've seen it
(33:38):
this morning. Actually, I'm gonna love hold on with thyself
be true. Yes, that's exactly what the whole episode was.
The whole episode is why I thought it was so
crazy that I've seen it this morning. This above all,
to thine own self feature, It's really simple Shakespeare. I
loved his hair? Was Greg? Was it? Greg made ovid? Yeah?
(34:05):
About our podcast, Thank you guys so much for watching.
We will see you next time.
Welcome to the women while in Now podcast you guys
the Girl Anybody Girl Pretty Welcome to the women While
and Out podcast. These guys are the ladies and While
and Out Control somebody you body to get your show.
Hello ladies, Tonight we're gonna have the women a while
(00:23):
in podcasts on the Cars, y'all, we are back to
the women on our podcast, Part two with Spicy Mighty
Gang Gang Gang Gang Gang My Girl Bretty a Girl
Pretty V. We had a really good conversation in the
last episode, so we just asked her, could you please
stay another thirty forty five? Pretty had some questions. But
(00:46):
before we get into it, if you guys did miss
the last episode, please watch it um and catch up.
But if you decide not to, I'm gonna let you
introduce who you are. Yes, I love EV. Thank you
for the intro. I am a Spicymody relationship expert, Magnetic
Matt Maker, founder of the Spicy Life Relationship Consulting Firm,
where I provide relationship coaching and of course matchmaking UM.
(01:07):
I provide a ninety day five phase program based off
of my Spicy Method, which is self passion, intimacy, communication
and learning to say yes, I hope you just enhance
and use the power of your passion to attract your
purpose mate. And if you are with your purpose mate,
I hope you guys grow, strengthen the relationship, and hopefully
(01:28):
lead to marriage. And then I when I have a
married couple comes to me, I'm hoping them through some
of the challenges so that they don't get a divorce.
So I said this in a previous episode, but I
love when you say my purpose is, what is your purpose?
My purpose is I'm looking to restore the family unit.
My mission in life is to break generational curses and
restore the family unit. I want every single person to
(01:49):
believe back in love, not to date and operate from
a place of fear or hate anxiety. I don't want
any of those negative emotions associated with our relationships. And yes,
we all are irving of love, but first we have
to believe it, so it starts with our belief. And
I help you guys with the belief. Yes, and what
do those what do those behaviors look like? Asked me
that one of the first times we had a conversation.
(02:11):
But when I was first started dating Chris were like,
are you operating out of fear. I was like, absolutely
not becauld you like, if you get if I get hurt,
I just get hurt. I'm not going to go into
the mindset what if he does this. Look, I'm going
in acting like none of that can even happen. And
if it happens, we go from there, but you don't
go into it correct operating out of fear. And what
I also appreciate about your relationship to is that, yes,
(02:32):
you are a confident woman, but he contributes to that
by doing things that make you feel secure. And when
we address that Chris has done something that may not
make you feel the safest, he is like, Okay, let
me overcorrect, let me solve for that. And that's a
sign of a healthy relationship versus the man who's going
to be like you're to blame? Is you you're insecure? Yeah,
he will take accountability and that's a great sign. So
(02:55):
I was like, I can work with this couple. I
know you guys are purposes. But basically had an audition
for her walk and she's like, how together wasting no time?
This is not she told me, like one of our
first conserlations, she's like, this is my purpose. I do
not deal with people who aren't willing to grow, who
aren't willing to change, who aren't who are going to
waste my She's still be on my ass, like you
don't miss three sessions just I'm taking you don't pay
(03:16):
me for this month and don't talk to me to
your I'm like, I'm ready. She's like, if you're not
gonna take yourself growth serious, you're wasting my time. Where
if my mission is to bring generational curses and you
over here replicating things that aren't healthy for the relationship,
or what are we doing? Why are why are we here? Yes,
it's just like it's more than the money for me.
(03:37):
It's about my clients, like excelling and achieving their goals
because they are I do take a personal their reflection
of me. And so if they're not doing well, okay,
well well how do I need to show up better
for them? And maybe I need to be more in
her ass? So I need to I need I have
to govern each couple or each single based on what
they need in order to be motivated and get the
message and be needs a lot. I have a question,
(04:02):
please do ask spies sexes? I used to roxy I
think for me my question. I don't know if it's
a question, but I think it is. But someone, you know,
guys come in your life, you know, to just be
for a season, for the season of love, season of
being kind and protect you at that time. Um, but
(04:26):
like why is it like is it just like that
just person is just there? I mean, I don't know
how to explain it, because I know I have guys
who've been in my life just not forged to be
with me, but just to help me maybe just learn, learn,
figure some things out. Yeah, so our relationship shape us.
So I'm a firm believer that each person is put
into your life for a reason. Now you can learn
(04:47):
from that reason and it be a learning lesson, or
you can see it as a loss, and that's when
you feel like I took an l was a waste
of my time. Why did I mess with him? Oh
my god, I'm so heartbroken. But if you look at
it from that perspective, you're not gonna grow with that perspective.
You have to look at it from the Okay, what
mistakes did I make? Why did I choose him? What
was it about me that chose him? What did he
offer that I want to keep are we were we
(05:09):
in alignment? Did he cross my deal breakers? Like that's
when you need to start assessing the core values and
deal breakers in a relationship so that you can govern.
And then if you can look at it from a
learning lesson, what am I going to do differently next time?
What am I going to accept and tolerate? Where am
I going to bend? Where do I need more flexibility?
You're more likely to have better relationships moving forward. Each
(05:29):
relationship should be elevating. If you're going backwards on each relationship,
not even stagnant. I want growth only, Like yeah, yeah,
they should not be this. They should not all be
the same, treating you the same. You shouldn't be settling
for the same things. Like there's some self worth things
going on if you were experiencing that. And so oftentimes
(05:50):
it's not the man. It's not that there's not enough.
It's who we choose and why we're choosing those people.
And it's so crazy because I prayed and I say,
you know, father, bring someone to love, and that's going
to just you know, treat me right. You know, one
of these days I want a kid. You know, what
do you think I did? Oh my god, God always
(06:12):
shows up and he's always showing me. You know, I'm
just asking a little bit of questions, just talking to somebody.
But what she already expressed on numerous episodes, um, it's
very new. They dated previously. But he is so sweet.
I love that. And she is just so like guarded
and scared and like hold on, give me a minute.
(06:34):
And she's taking our time, which I understand. Good, take
your time, you know. I'm like, man, I was on
FaceTime with him. I was like, oh my god, he
treats you just laugh at all your stupid jokes. I'm like,
that's not even funny. If he treats you like a queen,
I'm I'm here for it. We should not be sleeping
when anybody who does not worship us, that is a
waste of our time. You get to a certain place
(06:55):
right when you're young. Okay, fine, get it out of
your system. Learn from that. But at this point, if
you're looking for a healthy relationship or something real, don't
waste your time for anyone with anyone who doesn't worship you.
I only take worship like my time of compromise and
community service that was in my community. One of her
makes us build this pizza. I'm gonnat her explain it.
(07:16):
So I want you to build a pizza and breed
to build because I would be able to in my session. Okay,
we're gonna don't be scare. So this is a good exercise.
Ladies do this at home, and gentlemen, it will help
you when it comes to navigating who you should be
with and who you shouldn't. Right, there's so many things
people will tell you make a list of this, a
hundred things, and you're like, I don't know how to
navigate this. The pizza is simple. So we have the crust.
That's the foundation. What is his character in order for
(07:38):
him to just be a good person and us respect him.
We're not talking about anybody, just man in general. The
next layer is the sauce. How does he have to
treat me to make me feel good? And then the
next layer is topings? How does he have to look
for me to want to rip his clothes off? So
we're gonna go crust first. What's the foundation? Give me
the five qualities that you need in order to believe
he's a good person, just a good human, not your man,
(08:00):
just a good human and respect him. Um one um,
spiritual okay, spiritual to um, loving his mother? Um. Three,
I would say very attentive okay um for um someone
(08:22):
who cares about guys, don't Is that the same thing
as being attentive? No, he can be an attentive man.
He's not gonna intentive man to you because you don't
know him. Just his chrust. You're talking in general to
respect him. Um. Yeah, definitely loyal okay, Um. Trustworthy okay um,
that's five, because loyal trust were there are two different things. Okay,
so you said you're five. Now you're gonna give us
(08:44):
the sauce? How does he have to treat you? So?
Now I've found this man, I said, Hey, I got
a good person for you. He's a he has a
good heart. Here he is. Now, how does he have
to treat you for you don't want to be with him?
How does it make you feel well? I mean I
would go by just the queen like I want you
to dude. In general, we can't just say do everything.
(09:10):
I say, what do you need? What does what do
you need? In order to feel good with this person?
I definitely want to be loved on. I want to
be affectionate like I would like affection action, it towards me. Um,
hear me, you know, listening to listen to me, communication, um, um,
support me, um, pray with me. Um. I need one more.
(09:39):
How does he treat you? What's he do for you?
How does he make you feel? Um? I mean I
think just being a positive person. I think. I don't
know if that's something positive motivation, your motivation. Okay, I
don't know if that goes with the support, but positive
motivations like affirmations and just like speaking life, speaking life
(09:59):
in to me. Okay, beautiful, now you get feeding me.
That was the crust. We got the crust and the sauce.
That was the foundation who he is. And now how
he treats you? Last part of toppings. How does he
have to lock in order for you to be sexually attractive?
Part physical? Let me be very honest. I you know,
very masculine was the dark skin. I always say more
(10:20):
was chest masculine, dark skin, those two different things. Yeah,
so that's just what I That's what I loved. But
I knew when I ran into those type of guys
it was more so playing a game, you know. Um,
But you know, very mask and that's one masculine Um,
gotta be good looking. I don't know, you can't just
(10:40):
I don't like Yeah pretty of course, Um muscles, that's
masculine the same thing, or that masculine is not necessarily muscular,
that's fit two different things us. Yeah right, pretty pretty teeth.
I'm not how to dre I gotta know how to Yeah, fashionable? Um,
(11:04):
one more, how's it looking? Nice? Smile? Okay, that smile? Okay,
So we take that pizza. Now, we don't date anyone
who's not that pizza. However, the toppings are interchangeable because
if it's got the crust and the sauce, is still
a good freaking pizza. So we can compromise the toppings, right,
because you're still gonna get fed, you're still gonna get nourished.
(11:24):
So we don't date, and we don't keep people in
our lives after we've experienced them who's not the pizza,
because if not, we will not respect them because you
just wasting times? Not spiritual? What am I doing? Yeah
you just told me? Yeah, why are we still lingering
in this relationship? And one more? He has to no music. Music,
that's just that's one of my biggest things. You have
to know music. I'm talking to this guy and he
(11:46):
told me future was an army singer. Slam gona slap
my six and you know people got one little hand. Yeah,
little pinky tellers you want to put in there. But
I love that it makes it easier to navigate when
we get to confuse. There's too many options out there.
This is how we narrow it down when you're looking
(12:07):
for your purpose, when you're looking for your one, this
is how you narrow it down. Don't be doing this
with situation ships and you know if boys and all like,
this is just when you're in that zone of I
want something real, use your pizza. Yeah, And I don't know,
I keep not I keep thinking about groom hard worker
comes to you. It can change right now. We put
you on the spot, so come, you know, thinking off
(12:29):
the top of your dome. But these are things that
you should know, because if you don't know these are
there's a million other things. Yeah, these are the things
compromise on. Yeah, and you know you can revisit it
and edit it. But don't go out there dating blindly
and then like, I don't know why I didn't get him, Well,
you didn't know what you wanted like, so this helps,
this helps you actually build out what you need. And
(12:49):
then following that manual, so it's called my Little Spicy Pizza.
It wasn't that bad. See, But now you're thinking, like,
Dan is the guy I'm talking to this good bye?
We keep him? Yeah, and what I'm thinking about him,
it's like, yeah, he's everything on the pizza. He's everything
on everything. If he's everything on the pizza, you better
behave at an act according We don't. We don't message alright,
(13:15):
y'all All right, y'all not know, we'll be right back.
When it's the pizza. We stand up straight, we act right, Okay,
we don't play. X will come back, people will like
try to get our attention, will try to come in. Yes,
he would definitely come and try to do some things.
A girl, I don't like pizza you no, no, no, alright?
(13:41):
The crest. The five things you need in order to
respect him A good person, um well obviously like being
able to distribute respect in general to people and families. Um,
someone that's hard working, hardworking, someone that's is probably committed,
and that can be in all forms kind of um
(14:02):
committee of someone taking pizza. You can't have pizza girl. Um,
not someone that can actually communicate, communicate emotions aside emotional intelligence. Yes, okay,
doesn't that count as different? It wouldn't that be my
five if I feel like it's that's different. That's not
about communication is a healthy Communication is a part of
(14:24):
emotional intelligence, But there are different thing It could be
a great communicator, but not it tapped into your emotions
or understand others. So that makes it harder to communicate.
But professional communicator. So we're gonna keep that. We're gonna
keep communication and emotional intelligence because there's two variants of that. Okay,
now we're gonna go to your sauce. How does he
treat you so you just want to date with them?
How did he make you feel? What does he do
for you to keep you satisfied? Um? Conversation conversation? Um?
(14:50):
What does it mean? What do you by conversation conversation? No?
Like real conversation? Yeah, like not like how is your day,
how's your mom? Whatever? I know, like we need to
like can we sit here and really have a conversation
at dinner? Or is this surface level bullshit that I
could could just go talk to you about whoever? Um?
(15:11):
What else it Why has it makes me feel? Um,
I guess like comfortable. Okay, you're comfortable with him. I
feel like for me. I usually I'm like I sit
and I wait, and I watched people before I decided
to let my wall down to be comfortable to really like,
you know, get into that. What else? Um, you get
(15:33):
three more? Ship? Uh? It makes me feel huh yeah,
like opening my door. I don't see that ever, girl,
I don't know where you're hanging out. Okay, okay, I
mean I feel like that would be great. Um, someone
that pays attention, like to detail into small things. Um,
Like I had someone order for me and I was like,
(15:54):
how the hell do you remember that we came here
five months ago? Love that? Um? You get more? Make
me feel like like safe in the sense that I
can trust you in a situation as a human, friends,
family or whatever. Trusting. Yeah, And then the last thing
is topping. So you're gonna give us what does you
have to look like in order for me to work
(16:16):
on this my damn self? And guys that are not
attractive at all? Um, And that's okay if they treat
you amazing, but if they don't dreat you amazingly. Yeah. Yeah,
that's where I was like, hold the hell, I gotta go. Um, Okay,
I will say definitely smile for me, I feel like
(16:42):
smile smile. Um. Tattoos is a thing for I don't
know what it is. I was on here yesterday something
that tattoos. It usually means you're a problem in your trouble.
I love. I just want like supermanly gotta be like
you know if it fits, so definitely fit someone that
(17:04):
could come and share that with me. Um. I wouldn't
say tall, but I think you get two more? Um
what they look like? What they look like? Tell her eye?
Skin tone like dark? Okay, chocolate and then bless you
get one more? Come on chocolate ship like one more?
(17:27):
I guess Really it's a smile on the teeth for me,
I feel like that's you can just choose. You just
want those four. You could just choose those four. Okay.
So you have your toping, you have your sauce, you
have your crest. Whether you're considering marrying again or dating
or even letting someone inside of you again. He needs
to be the pizza. If we can't trust him, why
are we sleeping with him? So if he can't communicate.
(17:49):
Why are we sleeping with him? If he's not chivalrous?
Why are we sleeping with him? Like? What are we
doing it for? What void are we trying to feel?
So when you have your pizza, it helps you and
directs you down. Okay, you're a keeper or I'm gonna
throw you back to the sea, throw you back to
the sea. And sometimes we gotta throw them back because
it's about knowing, like if you're just supposed to be
(18:09):
a lesson in experience or my lifetime, and so this
helps us dictate that. I do have a question about that.
So what's the difference? We were saying? Purpose? Purpose mate?
Purpose mate? What about twin flame? What about Like what
are this? There's so many twin flame and this purpose?
And I think there's one more twin flame I heard
from a psychic and it's scared the hill. Why what
(18:32):
does it mean? Because she just like grabbed me at
a pumpkin patch and I was like, why, who are you?
What are you doing? And like she went into this
whole thing and started telling me all these crazy details
and she just freaked me out. What's the twin flame? Though?
Your twin flame is like someone who you have this
deep burning connection with, you might me ne them in
another lifetime. They feel similar to a soul mate, except
(18:52):
for your twin flame. You may not necessarily end up
with them or belong with them. So you guys may
go your separate ways, or something pulls you back together.
Um like old girl over here who said she met
him six years ago and back with him, and I'm
putting on the spot, but I'm just saying, like it
could be. But she was saying that it's scared the
(19:12):
heck out of her, and I'm like, well, it shouldn't
be scary, but somebody, yes, he does. But when someone
to come out you with real details, like specific details
that we sometimes we don't always help with our twin flame,
they're not always like the best person was definitely such
a deep connection that they keep pulling us back, and
sometimes you have to know when to walk away, like
any relationship from someone, but those are going to be
(19:34):
a little bit harder than, of course, any any other one. Yeah,
and I think building has a friendship to you know.
That's why even with you know my friend that I'm
you know, Yeah, I just think to you when you're
in that right place at that time, you know, so
(19:54):
you when God brings you you and you're back together,
it is he the like Spicy said, to be the
friends you know or y'all just go you know, go
ahead type of ways. Or timing is so important and
that's a part of compatibility. If you meet a great person,
looks great on paper and makes you feel amazing, and
unfortunately they don't want a relationship, it's bad timing, Like
(20:15):
you can't want what they don't want. You guys have
to be on the same page. And that little time
thing you're talking about that the lady does say it
like one thing is to like when you do all that,
sometimes the enemy come to destroy a lot of stuff too,
so you gotta look out for those things too. You
gotta be like is it for my is it healthy?
Or you're just coming to knock on my dought and
call some drama that's all you really want to talk to.
(20:36):
That's where it got me because when she came to
tell me, I was messing with two individuals at the time,
and I was like, oh fun, she's in my head
and I don't know which call I made. Because at
the end of the day, I was like, I don't
know if that was the right choice. I don't know what.
And then you like revisit it and you're like, okay, well,
technically the definition of between flame is not ideal and
these situations are not ideal, but yet that's more ideal
(21:00):
for me that I feel like you're more ideal. So
it's like that weird and you're like okay, and I'm lost.
Say you had to decide based off of like who's
more in alignment with the relationship goal of your goals
to be in a healthy relationship? Okay, who healthy? Healthy?
Who treats me the best? Who makes me feel the
loved and the most safe and secure? Who is my pizza?
Because both of them, I doubt are identical in the pizza,
(21:23):
so like they probably had two different things that you
liked about them. Usually one gives us a lot of
passion and the other gives us a lot of security.
And so we're trying to battle on jugo. Should I
be with the person who's gonna make me feel safe,
they support me, they take care of me, they're gonna
be there forever. The person who gives you butterflies? The
person who I want to slash them tires for, like
(21:45):
what do you say if a guy was like, um, so,
what makes you feel like you deserve commitment? Why are
you so special that one guy should be committed to
only you? First of all of us women in the
human species, we are special, We are good people. The
question is not what makes us so special that we
do commitment. It's about the man, right, It's about you
being in alignment with someone who values commitment as well.
(22:07):
And so we have we've got to just find somebody
who wants commitment. Yeah, but we've got this argue with
a man who wants polygamy. Right, We've got the idea
that we have to earn commitment now because society is
trying to tell us there's not enough men. If we
look at the world population, right, let's not break it
up ethnicity, but we look at the world population, there's
more than enough men to go around. Based on the
(22:31):
challenges that we don't want to step outside of our
type and our comfort zone to be with what's healthy
for us. A lot of us want to eat our
candy when we should be eating our vegetables. So we're
compromising so that we can net what we think, what
we want versus what we need and so men will
try to convince us like, well, I should be with
you know, twenty women, because you know I'm this, you know,
superior man or value man. And the truth of the
(22:53):
matter is is if he's not in a linement, if
he doesn't have enough self regulation, if he doesn't value
commitment or believe that you are worth the commitment, why
are we compromising our values for him? He's not enough
like he and we would never be satisfied if we
compromise that for some unless we want that for ourselves.
If we want to swing, if we want open relationship,
go for it, go for it. Don't do it because
(23:14):
the guy you like is doing correct, Do it because
that's what you desire. I'm not going to compromise cheating.
I'm not gonna compromise lying or honesty or all the
I'm not gonna compromize any of these other I'm not
gonna comproize communication for him. Like, if these are the
core values that we need in our relationship, then why
are we compromising these things? We're gonna be unhappy all
the time. So what about the man that says we're
just wired this way? I just this is the way
(23:35):
we are. We deserve to have multiple women. And la la, la,
la la. I feel like I hear this all the time.
I said, you ain't wired in no way like Okay,
my sex drive could be highed too, and higher than hers,
and yours could be higher than his. But what do
you mean you get? That's a social construct that society
telling him, or him wanting to emulate his father or
the father that wasn't there, and him feeling entitled to
(23:58):
certain things that he feels like I should have, I
should overindulge. But what happens when we overindulge with anything
that we overindulge in too much of anything you can
get you feel late at night. Usually we're doing these
from a place, from a void. There's usually something within
him that he can't operate from self control because honestly,
(24:21):
us as women, we want to sleep with a gain
of people too. If I accepted every offer and every
dick that was thrown my way, my marriage will not
work out. Because let me tell you, even pregnant can
still get that, can still get it. But the point
is that I operate with self control, and as humans,
that's what makes is different from animals. That's why we're
the superior species because we can govern ourselves and the
(24:44):
world is our oyster. But what are we going to
take advantage of and what are we going to with
thrain from in order to get our needs and to
get to our goal. Twenty women are going to distract
you from becoming the best version of yourself. If you're
a man who's trying to just be out there and
put your dick in anything, it's not that's not God's
purpose for your life. I'm sorry, simple be with somebody
who agrees with your lifestyle and value. Yes, it's too
(25:05):
many bitch bitches, too many beautiful queens that want commitment,
and you're dating a guy with twenty other girls, and
you know that just date a guy that wants commitment.
It's too many guys that want girls that don't want
to swing. And it's like they girls who want to
do that, but men have convinced us that because there
(25:26):
is that there's a deficit, and so because of that,
we're acting from a place of hunger and desperation. Like
when we think there's not enough food to go around,
we're gonna we're starving to take whatever we'll take. And
you also got to know too, who's uh, who's masking
themselves as well? Would be good in the beginning, and
then that's when I'm beating stuff happening at the two
(25:48):
in the morning, and you start whatever that nice stuff
says happen. The doors will be open for so long.
But it's a lot of people, even friends and everyone,
they mask themselves until it gets deep, until you get comfortable,
you're started living with each other. It just depends on
who you are. You go slow, though, remember you said
in your relationship you're going slow right now. It's you
develop first the friendship. If you're not a good friend,
(26:11):
you can't be a good lover. I'm sorry. If you're
not a good friend to me, and I'm seeing how
you treat your friends, how you treat your family, how
you treat the world, how you treat your job, your colleagues,
you're not gonna be good to me. At some point
you're gonna turn on me too. So either you're an
honorable person or you're not. And we can't move so
quick into intimacy physical, emotional. We can't throw all of
our eggs in that basket until we know what we're
signing up for. And that's why I am moving slow.
(26:37):
I'm moving slow, and I'm taking my taking my time,
and I have been trying to proclaim. She's trying to
I love it, but you and I'm just saying, if
he's your husband, he needs to prove it. Yeah, and
that's why we're taking prove it. You anybody that when
a man says that he wants to be your husband,
(26:59):
or I'm gonna take care of you, or I'm gonna
show up for you this way, prove it, always something,
prove it. I'm about action, baby, Yeah, and he's all
about that, Gussie. He got some big shoes to feel now,
because I'm gonna come back and be like, Okay, where's
the ring? Yeah? But um, any last words before we
(27:23):
wrap up? Another question? You know, so um spicy. She
got to her quote. What we do an inspirational quote
before you have to give us the quote? Okay, my
favorite is oh glasses and yeah, ask and you shall receive,
Seek and you shall find, knock and the door will
(27:44):
be open. Thank you. I contact contact or is bad sex?
Is bad sex? I'm like, I'm still trying to have
some good sex. High contacts or bad sex or seven
mm hmmm, alright, you guys in a while on our podcast.
(28:05):
We're gonna take a break before we do. Spicy tell
the people where they can find you. You guys can
always play with my Twitter or stroke my Instagram at
Spicy Moody s p I c Y M A r
I or go to the Spicy life dot com and
clicking subscribe go listen to my podcast as well. Um
a schedule free consultation with me, um, but the next
one will be paid guy after Yeah, we just wrapped
(28:35):
up with Spicy Mighty relationship expert. Please het her up
if you have any questions. Consult is free. After that,
you gotta pay, baby taking all my money because she
helps me so much. I love her so much. Thank
you so much for that, Spicey. She done drop some
gym from gym. She's so educated and she has a
degree in communication, so she's not just talking from BS.
She's talking from experience research and you know, and I
(28:57):
love with someone about God. Yeah, that's talking about it.
So that's what we need. Know you. I'm so happy
for you, though. Are you taking the time to master
and organize your relationship? If you want to be good
at anything, you have to focus on it. Yeah, if
I want to be about it. Now. I gotta practice jokes.
If I want to be getting rapping, I gotta write wraps.
(29:18):
I want to be good at relationships any nobody. I
asked my dad this and my grandmother recently, I said,
why did no one in the family ever sit me
down and say you're gonna date one day? This is
how you I did. I learned that from my friends
who was in toxic relationship. I learned from TV. I
learned it from just doing it. Nobody in my family
actually set me down and said, Okay, you're gonna be
(29:39):
a young lady one day when you go on your
first date. Crossed your legs, he opened. Not one person
ever talk to me about And then sometimes they don't
know and they know, good luck because I'm times. But
now you can never you can. Now you can do
the self working at and like you said, whatever you want,
if you desire to be um, just have a life partner.
(30:00):
And I think that's beautiful. Just the beautiful part is
finding somebody that wants the same things that you. So
I think whatever you want, you deserve to have that.
Whether it's polyamory, whether it's being single forever, whether there's marriage.
But you know the fun part is when you're getting
with somebody that don't want that, you know, and you're
deceiving them and all that. So just some old school
find somebody that wants what you want and everybody will
(30:22):
be happy. Hip. I am old school. Shoot, one person
can be committed to you and that's who you want.
And that's where we're gonna slide with up and down
ugly bad. You know, it's never gonna be peachy. You
may have a water bottle that's gonna get flown over
and like you, I'm going up stairs, you know and
(30:45):
shut the door, slamming water bottle, you know, or something
like I want that the baby shot flying over like
I didn't sold you that I didn't want to eat that.
You know, it's gonna be up at that or get
a twist era. You may have to go, you know,
you may have to go outside and this being ever
gonna be perfect. They're just gonna throw a water bottle
at you still, like maybe just at the wall because
I'm sorry, I'm frustrated and I'm angry. I thought we
(31:06):
were gonna get married. You won't be like that. But
marriage is not always perfect though, I'm talking about you
throwing stuff. Oh, I mean I may throw like I'm
still got and I'm saying I may throw like you know,
that's just not at him, but it may be out
of anger, and I may have to make myself in
a situation center myself to say, you know what, that
was wrong. Let's talk about it. That's what it is.
(31:28):
Because you're not to throw it, you're at it, because
if you're with me, you I ain't gonna edge. I'm
having sex with John. I just threw a water butt
fo episodes Who John? I don't know who? That's the
baby's name. Yeah, I don't. I ain't going on. I
ain't run sleep with nobody. At least you could do
was just hear me out and take a second doctor
(31:49):
it after the water bottle after not mad alright, I
don't tell you to pat the tax on the car
wives late. Oh I was out there, Okay, just no,
you're not going to go through that. Well, you know,
things do happen. So in the midst of you having
spicy to be your merit, your your relationship council, things
(32:12):
are gonna be up and down. But you have to
in your mate has to come as one as a
union to figure it out. And it's not gonna be
just this conversation or talking. You may have something that's yo,
but all right, baby, I love you. When I fight
with my people's or someone I loved and that person
sent to me, in my mind, I'd be like, oh,
I want to yell at you, but then it's just like,
all right, cool, Like I get you. You know. I
(32:33):
got that situation where you know who and we were
talking and I was like, I'm mad, and that dude
ain't even just he didn't come back at me the attitude.
He was like, I love you, have a great day.
Come when you're fine. So that's the that's right, And
that's too like you ain't cool. You let me and
then you ain't gonna say that absolutely not girl, And
(32:54):
it's like no, no, I'm not gonna say nothing. So
you know, stuff happened. My uncle and my aunt been
married for so many years, you know, and I've seen
them argue, but I also seen oh yeah, you know
um and they had up and down. But what he did,
he loved on her even in an arguments. You know,
(33:16):
I love that fifty years and holding your wrinkled hands.
What they do famo. Any last words and the last word.
Who's doing the toast? Well, I do it. I actually
have one today. Okay, all right, This above all should
Thyself be True? I think that's why I've seen it
(33:38):
this morning. Actually, I'm gonna love hold on with thyself
be true. Yes, that's exactly what the whole episode was.
The whole episode is why I thought it was so
crazy that I've seen it this morning. This above all,
to thine own self feature, It's really simple Shakespeare. I
loved his hair? Was Greg? Was it? Greg made ovid? Yeah?
(34:05):
About our podcast, Thank you guys so much for watching.
We will see you next time.
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