129 - Coincidence Island

Karen and Georgia cover the Honolulu Strangler and the Galapagos Affair.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hello, Hi, and welcome.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
This is my favorite murder. It's a true crime comedy
podcast where we tell you horrible things and then we
just leave you to it, and then you have nightmares
and you're on your own.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Sorry. Bye, Sorry, You're all alone in this world. Bye. Yeah,
that's us. That's Karen Kilgarath, and that's Georgia harst Shark.
Thank you, who heart Shark? You said thank you? No,
thank you, Georgia hart Stark. Can I just say, speaking
of this being a true crime comedy podcast, I was
going to tell you really quickly.

Speaker 2 (00:50):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
So I saw my mom mither day and I'm just
like at that place in my life where I'm like
primed and ready for her to insult me all the time.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Sure, maybe it's on me, I don't know. I think
that's moms and daughters.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah. So she's telling we're at some funeral. Okay, I
want to say buried literally we buried my uncle. Uh
that one thing. There's like a distant relative and she's
you know, bragging about me. She also has somehow got
it in her head that we have the biggest podcast
in the world, and I just I don't think she

(01:22):
wants to be.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Corrected on it. I'm sure she doesn't tried.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
And then she's like, here, they have the biggest podcast
in the world. It's a mystery. And I was like,
it's not a fucking mystery, Karen. I worked really hard,
and she goes, no, it's a mystery podcast, right, which
I didn't correct her on. I was like, oh, yeah,
which is better because she used to think it was
a ghost podcast. Oh that's true. So she's getting closer.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
She is, She's at least, uh, it's a mystery. Fuck you, mom,
I tried, my artist is a mystery podcast. Oh maybe
it's so maybe it's me.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Did she let it slide? She acted like yeah, she was.
She offended. She was like, you know, oh goody. I
didn't get it that I was just being a complete dick,
or she ignored it.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Hey, look though, look Janet, that one's on me. Listen
to Janet.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Sometimes it's hard you get into the pattern.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
See you fucking oh yeah, you hear what you hear
because that's what you think is coming. How do you
not hear it?

Speaker 1 (02:26):
I'm prime when ready for her to insult me in
some special way. It's a mystery. It's a mystery, Dan,
how is your weekend fucking Hawaii?

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Dude? I was so in Hawaii. I was like walking
around in a bathing suit cover up at the grocery store.
I was so on vacation that not only did I
not have my debilitating and crippling, crippling body image.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Issues, but I was like, fuck you, I was just
having it. Was so gorgeous.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
Sounds were gone for what a week and a half, Yeah,
it was a long time.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
I think it was eight days, right, yeah, seven or
eight days? Amazing. How many times did I text you, like,
not at all as you were leaving? You just did
that one just like I holp, we having a good time?
As you were leaving last week, you were like, so
if anything important comes in, can we just wait till
I get back, because you know me, I'll be like
real quick, is this okay? Do you like this?

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Or this? Which I know is you know that's a
big request. And I did it. Yeah, you really did,
except for one time when I got a Linda Belcher
gift of Linda Belcher dancing and Georgia going, are you
having a good time?

Speaker 1 (03:34):
And I was?

Speaker 2 (03:35):
That was the cool thing?

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Is I texted you as a friend, not as a
what's right ausness partner, which I love and appreciate, and
I think I told you at least one anecdote. Oh yeah, no,
we had.

Speaker 2 (03:45):
It was the kind of thing where like I realized,
I haven't been on vacation. I mean I've gotten to
travel and have a good time, but still.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
Had to work.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
It's a different things, so different when you just get
up to nothing and you're with We were with like well,
I think there were four families all together, so it's
just a ton of people. That kind of thing where
you no matter how early you get up, someone else
started and like this person's like I'm gonna do I'm
going to breakfast. I'm gonna do breakfast. This other person's like,
let's go. Everyone want to go grocery shopping.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
Yes, that's the most fun. It was really.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
We had a mini van that we'd drive around in
at one point Robin, so it was us and the
Cola Singham's and you know the Colms. It's Adrian's family
and the Ramazi family, which is we got to stay
a jan at Ramati's house and fourth.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Of July is their big holidays, so we all got
to be there for that.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Which was so gorgeous. We were on this beautiful being
and Kauai. Yeah, when you looked up and down the beach,
everybody brought their own fireworks, so and we did too
because Gordie, who was the one who told that amazing,
told me the amazing and Thanksgiving. So last Thanksgiving is
when this whole idea started, because it was kind of

(04:57):
like this mishmosh Thanksgiving of a bunch of random people
who had never had Thanksgiving together before, and we had
the best time. It was super fun. And that's when
Janet was like, we should all do Fourth of July
at my house, and that's so we got a second
house in her neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
I were like, great, and then I would never speak
to them again exactly.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Well, and I kind of had that feeling of like
I don't think I'm really invited, but it's nice, and
my sister's like, no, you have to come. It's going
to be so great, and then I was like, well,
I would love to go, and that it sounds like
a dream, but I didn't want to like be invasive. Well,
it ended up I was going to get a hotel room.
There of course were none because it's quiet summertime. So anyway,
it turned out amazing and it was like, couldn't have

(05:38):
felt more welcome, And it was so it's so fun
to be around families. I'm never around.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, you're like laughing at their shit. Isn't it fun
to watch a family like interaction and be like, oh,
you guys are seeing shit that no one else fucking sees.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yep. And on vacation it's like, no, there's no All
the moms are like, yeah, I'm I already made my breakfast,
I'm going out onto the lunai. It was truly every
man for itself. Oh yeah, it was so Adrian's husband
Robin started having Nora drive from your eleven year old niece.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
The eleven year old niece driving from one rental house
to the other.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
She was sitting in his lap. She was only doing
the steering, but she was fully steering the mini van
with all of us, and she's going to.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Remember that for the rest of her life. She was
giggling so hard.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
At one point she turned all the way around to
look at everybody, and everyone goes around.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
It was like it was just a bunch of stuff
like that.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
So fun. Also, one night they started playing drinking games
in the garage and they taught us how to play baseball,
which is some crazy like it's basically quarters but advanced
because now everyone does like quarters with ping pong balls
and cups and shit.

Speaker 1 (06:44):
And I didn't go to college, so I have no fucking.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Things right same here. I've never even heard of it.
It's just a it's basically like throwing ping pong balls
into cups, but then if you steal a base then
you have to do that cup flipping thing.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
You know.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
All the kids were really into cup flipping. I'm good
at cup flipping?

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Are you really? I say that and not knowing for
sure if I am, but I think I am.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
It's it was just funny how all the over forties
adapted because it's like I've got four beers in me
and I want to kick your ass.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
It's like the.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Competitive little shit over. It was like suddenly everybody was nineteen.
I love it and it was real. Yeah, it was
a total joy. But on fourth of July, as you
looked up and down this beach, like as the sun
was setting, people just started kicking off their piccolo pedes
and so it just as far as I could see,
was just little fireworks it was the coolest best, so

(07:35):
like dreamy, yeah, and so relaxing, Like I didn't realize
how much I needed to just plane relax and do
nothing and kind of like just go to the beach
and sit around.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
And tomorrow while there's nothing too I was our mine
e Vince's therapist. Don't worry, We're fine. We're just we're
learning how to communicate effectively. Sure, please give me some
tips when you're done. Know how badly we were like
we're like, let's just I'm so preemptive therapy girl. So yeah,
let's just go and we'll learn some shit. Because there
were some like you know, communication shit, and then we're like,

(08:08):
oh fuck, this would have gone like our marriage would
have been over in ten fucking years if we hadn't
figured this shit out. Yes, it's the hardest, yeah, like
it's the everything very differently right. Well, he was telling
us because we're going to fucking Hawaii next week, but
we're going for three nights, and our therapist basically was like,
what is wrong with you? You have a brain change when
you go for more than like five or six days. Yeah,

(08:31):
like something clicks and you're you know that, you know
the next day is nothing, and the next day is vacation.
It changes like you know, can.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
You tax some days on?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
No, but I think we'll go somewhere else later. Oh okay, yeah,
because it's very true.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Like we I started calling it vacation brain because people
would ask me something very basic about my own life,
and I'd be like, I don't know, ask me later.
Like truly, we felt like my brain's like, no, we're
gone for the weekend. We're doing a rest.

Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, especially like this our past year has been really
fucking hard and insane.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
And I think we haven't been able to acknowledge it
because we would have broken.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
Yeah, Like I'm spinning top and it's like, don't stick
a fucking thing in it.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
No, you got to let that thing spin and keep
spinning it.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, we still can't tell you, guys, the things we've
been doing that are gonna, like we're going to be
able to tell you, hopefully in the next month.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
And they're big and they're really fun, and some of
them are so exciting that I really really wish I
could tell you right now. A lots of mouthing out
to Georgia, what is it?

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Huh, Paul Owens? Is that suit? Again. Oh oh oh.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (09:45):
You guys would die.

Speaker 2 (09:47):
You guys would die.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
You're going to die soon, don't worry.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Apologies to Paul Owens, whoever that is.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Paul Owens.

Speaker 2 (09:53):
I miss you so much.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
I'm really I'm good at Flippy Cup. I'm bad with
no I's reading. Apparently we're gonna work on it.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, we have fun stuff to tell you when things
we've been working very hard on and uh. But also
it's hard. I think we are very similar in that way.
It's hard for us to relax.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
I feel like I've been in this mode for quite
some time, so relaxing is as upsetting as being stressed out.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
I'm not going the personality as someone who can chill out,
Like even when I if I'm going to watch a
movie on TV or whatever the fuck, I have to
like do my sewing projects, paint my fucking nails, like
I have to clean out a drawer.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
I can't just chill. That's the beauty of add Conversely,
that's the beauty of Hawaii, the Hawaiian Islands, right because
everyone there goes real slow and they're not gonna speed
up for your crazy. California specifically not used specifically anybody.
Everybody's just like, yeah, we don't do it that way here,

(10:53):
and it's ry really cool. I'll do my best. It
also smells the air smells beautiful, and it's insanely clean.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
See how it fucking goes.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
You're gonna love it.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm really excited.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
It just unwinds your spine. Yeah, it's it's very, very good.

Speaker 1 (11:06):
For your spine.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yes, okay, okay, So we got this email that is
number one. It is number one. Holy god, I'm excited.
I don't know it yet. Then you were laughing out loud.
I lost my mind a little bit. The subject line
is John Wayne Gacy is a fucking fraud.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
Hi. So I work with correctional officers all over the state.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Of Illinois, and sometimes I get really good stories from
them about how horrible inmates can be parenthetically so much
thrown p oh p, that's rough, and every once in
a while the story the story I want about infamous murderers.
I was talking to some officers from Maynard Correctional Center
or Minard sorry, which formerly housed John Wayne Gacy after

(11:52):
I brought him up parentheses, no shame. They told me
he was not a bad inmate. Considering, but they did
tell me the following that I had to share with
you guys. So apparently all the paintings that Gaysey sold
while he was in prison weren't done by him.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh my god, the fucking scoop of the goddamn century.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
He had like an assembly line of inmates in his
art class that would all contribute. For example, one would
do the.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Trees and one would do the clown face, et cetera.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Gacy frequently only contributed his signature to the whole thing.
I was told that when these paintings were sold for
stupid amounts of money, he gave money to each inmate
that worked on it. Well that's kind of nice. I
really don't know how it all worked and how it
was even allowed in prison, but shit, the eighties were
a different ballgame. They sure were. I got to give

(12:40):
credit for Gaisey's entrepreneurial spirit, even though he's a fraudulent,
sick fuck. I just wonder if he made the inmates
working on his paintings call him Colonel stay sexy.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Don't trust serial killers works of art? B Well, I
kind of love that, because we always talk about don't
like how gross up? Yeah, like we don't want excuse me.
We're not this canned wine's making me. We're not obsessed
with serial killers. You know, we are obsessed with stories,
and so people think that we are obsessed, and I
just love that. It's like, oh, you bought it, John
Wyne Gacy painting sucks to be you, motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
I just never understood when that kind of that seemed
to kick up in the nineties a little bit. And
I do remember I did have a T shirt with
a huge picture of Ed Gene's face on the front
of it that I got e K on Vermont.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
That is like, but that's like, you know, like only
certain people would know what it is.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, you know, yes, back then it felt very you know, underground,
It felt edgy.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
It felt yeah, edgy, and like versus, is that the
word you're looking? No, But I like that one better
than when I was thinking, was it edgy? No?

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Esoteric? Esoteric's good?

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, I love that word.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
But point being, I never wore it. I bought it
because I was like, I know who it is and
I want credit from like the other comics that I
know that are into serial killers. But I don't want
to walk around with Edge's face but it always freaked
me out that people would want a piece of one
of those people in their home. It's like, how much
that's like the definition of bad vibes the artwork people

(14:15):
even ghosts or karm or like vibes and shit. Yeah
like that that Johnavan Gasey would be putting his You know,
it's your internal. The artwork is like your internal. But man, man,
I'm still on island time.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
Have you even sniffing jailhouse paint fumes and ship? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (14:37):
I wonder this is just one more a terrible blow
to Johnny Depp's whole financial He's in so many Did you.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
Read the Rolling Stone article about Johnny Depp recent Yeah? No,
about his financial ship? Oh yes, that he spent spends
like five hundred thousand dollars a month or something. Wine.

Speaker 2 (14:54):
Oh bro, it was funny. I did read the thing
where recently he punched somebody in the on the movie set.
Good for no locations managed, You're terrible good for him?

Speaker 1 (15:06):
No, that poor location manager is just like, I just
want to do my job without getting punched by Johnny Dupp.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Yeah, I make let's see, eight million less dollars than you.
So how about you keep your fucking hands over there.
Yeah yeah, bro, do we.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
Had any housekeeping keeping fan?

Speaker 2 (15:24):
Call? What's up? We're getting Uh, We're posting.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Weekly videos and we're posting live shows, and we're about
to come out with an exciting new march line.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeap, like really soon. We've got a couple of things
in the chamber, like we keep saying, well, but we do.
We just have to organize ourselves and deliver it. But
some really good ideas. Also, last night on Twitter, I
started posting it was really late. I was just kind
of in a weird place, and I was thinking about
all the hotel rooms I loved on our last actually

(15:57):
couple of tours. So I just started posting pictures of
hotel rooms that I've loved, and people are like, I
want to see all of these, So like I feel
like that's for this fall tour I'm going to do.
I'm going to keep a hotel room diary. I love
it because sometime a lot of the times we just
stay at wherever, the places that's like mid level or whatever.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
We don't always splurge like extended stay place.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yeah exactly, but sometimes like on the European tour, we
splurged in a couple places where it was like birthday.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
You guys all the time of snobs, don't call us sluts. Yeah,
and it was her birthday, so I had to stay
somewhere nice too. I can't be staying at a fucking
you know, no offense. I actually it's name names.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
I actually we get an offer from the like days
in they're like, we heard you talk about we'd love
to work with you. I actually asked Vince if he
would make you stay somewhere bad while I stayed something good.
He said no, oh, because he'd have to stay there
with me. Yeah, so we fought for your life.

Speaker 1 (16:57):
Oh, bring that to the therapist, Doug. Look how much
he loves me, Doug proof doug Um.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
Yeah, I don't. I don't even remember the last time
I recorded, so I can't thank of it. Yes I do, Yes,
I do. Oh corrections, corners, Yes, here we go. Do
you know the one? I'm gonna say?

Speaker 1 (17:17):
I think I have one, and you have one? Okay,
you go first. I can't remember mine, so you go first.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
This is I would say, could it be our sloppiest
So far so good, so far so bad. So we
do have a correction. I have a corrections corner, and
luckily I love that this is how everyone now gives
us our corrections the nicest, sweetest way possible.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
So and this one feels.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
Especially dumb to me, but on my part, uh so,
Bambi wrote to us and wrote, even though Karen and
b York wore it before Rihanna Band two Knots have
been around for a long long time, no shade intended
just in where I was like, oh, thank you Bamby.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Oh my god, it was so.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
Nice of you. But if I intimated in any way
that I thought buor convented those, yeah, it makes me
feel so stupid because in no way did I think that.
So thank you so much for the fact that Bamby
wrote no shade was so heartwarming to me because I
was like, we get I mean like I can take shade. Yeah,

(18:24):
you can serve up the shade if you're pissed. But anyway,
so thanks for that.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Good job, Bamby.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah, thanks Bamby. Who goes first this week?

Speaker 1 (18:36):
If we're going by the live show, then Karen would
go first?

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Did I go first week before? Do you want to
go first?

Speaker 1 (18:43):
No?

Speaker 2 (18:44):
No? Why did you whisper? Damn it?

Speaker 1 (18:47):
Because I'm drinking my canned wine and I have to
slow down on the canned wine if oh okay, Oh no,
it's fine, go first, Okay, Okay, I don't know. I
might like get it out of the way person with everything. Oh,
get shit out.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Of the way. That's gonna be fun on vacation. Oh
it's great. I'm great.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
I'm really chill.

Speaker 2 (19:06):
Well so because I can't let go of being uh
in Hawaii. Actually, while we were there, Mary Ramatzi, who
is it was her mom's house that we were staying at,
listens to the podcast High Mary, and she was like,
have you ever done a Hawaiian serial killer? And at
first I said no. Then I remembered there was Randall.

(19:29):
I'm not gonna be able to remember his last name,
but he's the guy that escaped from the mental hospital
and actually he made it to California brother's house or
some shit.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
Yeah exactly. He was extremely scary.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
But I was like, are there any because of course
at the time, where like the palm trees were swaying
in the background and we're just like, there's no way,
why would anyone? Well, then I wikipedia and there was one.
It's still a cold case. The case of the Hona
Lulu Strangler. All Right, so I don't have to tell
I think most people about Hawaii are they're not real state.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
First of all, it's a state. Let's just start there.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
Uh So, Whwaii obviously has always been this gorgeous tourist destination.
It is if you haven't been, I I highly suggest
that you go to really any of the islands, including Molokai.
Used to be a leper colony. Now there's about eleven
people that live there. My sister's gone because we have

(20:36):
like distant family that live there. It's like my cousin's
wife's sisters family. And my sister said, it's incredible and
like very remote, and you it's just that thing where
when you go on vacation in Hawaii, you really are
just gone. You're out in the middle of the ocean
and it's it's it's an amazing experience. So anyway, so

(20:58):
it was a huge, uh vacation destination in the fifties,
and then it had this resurgence in the eighties because
after in like the sixties and seventies the tourism had
fallen off. It was huge for so long and then
like everything you know there was the recession, and people
started staycationing with no name or cute BuzzFeed columns about it.

(21:18):
They just didn't go anywhere and.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Lined up for it. It's called don't fucking go anywhere.
It was called We're fucking broke.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
If you want to go into nature, stand outside. But
by the mid eighties it was ramping back up again
the island of Wahu, which is where Honolulu is. So
I'm not going to act like a total expert because
we like, you know, I think when I was growing up,
I just thought of Hawaii as Honolulu. It's just like
there was a picture on our refrigerator of my grandma

(21:46):
in the fifties standing in front of a big pink
hotel in Honolulu wearing a lay and it was like
that was the shit. That was like the American dreams totally.
But in the eighties it came back so that you
there were people like baseball shirts that said Hawaii eighty
two on the front of them. I remember those tourism
shirts were was like the yeah, it looked like a
football shirt, but it was like Hawaii eighty too.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
I remember, like it was like it was like, where
are you gonna live Hawaii?

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Like it was like the place to be.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
And I remember someone at school saying that all the
drinking fountains had pineapple juice in them. I was like,
oh my god, it's so like that's like what paradise
it was. It was like truly pineapple juice and all
the water fountains. I was just like blown away.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
Although I have to say the first time I visited
Hawaii with my ex we sat and ate fresh pineapple
and triscuts and cheese for like a week straight. That's all.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
I was like this, I'm fine and trap you know,
you know, the tropical snack of truscuts and cheese, cheese.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
I was like, here's my protein, got a grain and
now it's just pineapple, pineapple pine o. So amazing.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
So okay.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
So in the eighties one of the main reasons tourism
up again. And also there was a military personnel and
people coming to work at telcom companies, so all these people.
There was an influx of people coming into the state
of Hawaii. Ten and a half million people visited the
islands during this time. And this all before the stock

(23:18):
market crash of eighty seven. I didn't know existed eighty seven.
We can't get into the stock market right now. I can't.
This is not a stock market podcast, guys. Could you
imagine if I just started it was a bull and
bear market. It was like what you don't know how
to pronounce city names, but you can talk about the
stock market. The crash at eighty seven, But it was

(23:40):
so for Hawaii, huge for the economy, great for business.
But of course with all those people brought the influx
an increase of robberies, rapes, and violent crime. Stop it.
And up until this point, as far as they knew,
there had never been a serial killer as far like
in terms of the police ever knowing about it. On

(24:03):
May twenty ninth, nineteen eighty five, Vicki Purdy, she leaves
home around six o'clock. She's going to go out clubbing
with her friends and she's gonna, you know, go dancing
and drinking. Essentially, she's a she is a tourist or
she lives there.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
She lives there with.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
Her husband, and she's going to go into Waikiki and
go drinking and dancing with her friends. So the husband
stays at home and she's going to go.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
To a girl party party.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
She parks her car at a place called the Shorebird Hotel.
She ends up calling her friends. She doesn't meet up
with her friends until she calls them at ten pm,
and she tries to make a plan of meeting up
with them, but they she never shows up and they
never see her or hear from her again. Her husband

(24:49):
Gary she doesn't at midnight, when when she's not home,
her husband starts to worry and she has a pager.
He starts paging her eighty yeah, but she never answers,
and the last person to see her alive is a
cab driver who dropped her off at the Shorebird Hotel
to pick up her car at midnight.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
So she had gone somewhere, but it wasn't to meet
her friends.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Yeah, they're not sure like her f weird Yeah. So
in the morning he pages her and pages or goes
to sleep, assumes she's just going to get home. Late
in the morning, he sees that she's never come home,
and he's frantic, so he goes into Waikiki to look
for her himself, and he finds her car at the

(25:35):
Shorebird Hotel. Her keys and purse are gone. There's nothing
of her own in the car, but there's a dent
in the car that was not there when she had
left the day before. And then the next morning, Gary's
worst fears come true. Vicki's body is found in the
Khi Lagoon. She was wearing the yellow jumpsuit and the

(25:57):
red belt that she was wearing when she left the
house the night before. Her arms are bound behind her
back and she has been raped and strangled. So she
had been working at a video store, so her husband
Gary tells police he thinks it's related to her work
because the video store has an adult bookshop connected to it. Bookshop, okay,

(26:19):
And six months before Vicky started working at this video store,
there was a double murder what yeah, at that location.
Ultimately the police decided it was a coincidence and it
didn't have anything to do with it with her murder.
But I think that's insane.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
We don't know what the double murder was. It was
just what time, like, we don't know what the double
murder was. No, okay, I think I was a cab driver.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
So eight months later, seventeen year old Regina Sakamoto leaves
her school at Waypahu, And of course I apologize for
all these pronunciations. Are some of the artists you're trying,
so like I'm trying my best.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
I can tell and I think that they should cut
you a break.

Speaker 2 (27:05):
Well, I did look up kit Eh that lagoon. I
watched a news reporter from Hawaii say it about twenty
nine times. But it's still when you look at it,
you just doubt it because you know there's so many ease.
So why Pi whu Hi is where she was? It's
her senior year. She plans to go to Hawaii Pacific

(27:26):
University that fall, and her younger brother Omar describes her
as a fun loving person and someone everyone looked up to.
So on January fourteenth, nineteen eighty six, it's seven fifteen
in the morning, and she calls her boyfriend from a
phone booth to tell him she's missed her school bus
and that she's going to be late for school. And

(27:47):
that's the last time anybody cares from her. So that
next morning, her body is found by fishermen a mile
away from where Vicky Purdy's body was found in the
Kitahi Lagoo. Regina's body is naked from the waist down again,
hands bound behind her back. She's been raped and strangled,

(28:08):
and except for that location, only a mile away it's
it's the exact copy of the Key Parties Murder.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
How far apart were these two?

Speaker 2 (28:17):
The location? No, no, the time? Eight months?

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Okay? Ye fuck yeah. So then two weeks after that,
two weeks okay.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
On January thirtieth, twenty one year old Denise Hughes is
on her way to work. So she lives in a
neighbor cd hed called Pearl City, which is north of Honolulu,
and she is a secretary. She works for a phone
company and commutes to work by bus. And Denise's mom
told her she thought that Pearl City was too remote,

(28:49):
too far away. There weren't enough people that lived there,
and she didn't like the fact that she would commute
by bus and wait at that bus stop by herself.
So her mom told her, wait until the last second
when you know the bus has come, and then go
out to the bus stop so that you're not just
standing around by yourself. And that's normally what she did.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Wow, good idea.

Speaker 2 (29:07):
Yeah, But that day, January thirtieth, nineteen eighty six, Denise
never shows up for work, and two days later, three
teenage teenagers are crabbing near the Moana Lua Stream, which
is two miles upstream from the Kahi Lagoon and they
come across something that's wrapped in blue material in the water. Yeah,

(29:31):
it's the body of Denise Hughes. And again her hands
were bound behind her back. She'd been raped and strangled,
but because her body was in the water, it had
a lot more decomposition. But all three women so far
have been found south of their homes by the Honolulu
Airport and close to, if not in water, so the

(29:55):
police can no longer dismiss that these murders aren't connected.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah, and the way the bodies like are still bound
behind their hands behind their back.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yep, Right, everything about the mo is so matching. Crapy so,
But up until this point, the Hawaiian authorities have never
dealt with a serial killer, to the point where when
they finally make when they talk about it in the paper,
they have to explain what serial killer means. Wow, that's
how untouched the community had been up until that point

(30:24):
in the mid eighties, So the Honolulu police set up
a serial killer task force that will eventually over that
year it grows into consisting of twenty seven people, and
they actually end up enlisting the help of the FBI
and the Green River Killer Task Force. Yeah, they were
really smart. They like reached out to all the right places,

(30:46):
but they have nothing to work with, almost nothing to
work with, because when the bodies are in the water,
there's no blood evidence. Yeah, and it was before DNA
evidence was you know, in the in the fore in
any way, it's just such a new concept general to everybody.
Because so police make this announcement and they think at
least two of the women possibly could have accepted rides

(31:07):
from strangers while they're waiting at these bus stops, and
because of that, the authorities caution all women not against
taking rides or hitchhiking at all.

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Good for them for they you know, not hiding it
and being instead of being like, yes, like safety first
of yes, I mean it should be like men stop
killing women. Of course we know that, but right addition to.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
That, but since we know that's never that's a note
that won't be taken apparently. But what they do tell
women to do is that travel in groups, wear clothing
that they can move quickly in, which I think is
kind of amazing because I've always been a big believer
in runnable shoes like high heels are fine for when
you're indoors and looking pretty, but like, you know, that

(31:56):
makes me happy. There's like wear clothing that would allow freedom,
the free them to move quickly. Don't carry packages, so
don't be bundled up and weighed down with stuff, and
don't get close to cars that approach you asking for directions.
So they got real specific with warning people, and they
said they told women, quote, if you feel like you're

(32:17):
being followed, trust your gut, which is rad. They even
set up a sting using undercover police women around the
Honolulu Airport, but nothing ever came of it. Yeah, So
about six weeks later, on March twenty sixth, twenty five
year old Louise Maderos from Waipahua, she leaves the island

(32:40):
of Wahoo and she's going to visit her family on Kauhai.
That's where I was. So Louise's mother had died recently
and she has to go there for the reading of
the will. But she has two kids and she's three
months pregnant, so she's trying to make it the fastest
possible trip because she left her two kids with her
boyfriend and she's just like, I got to get back.

(33:03):
Her family wants her to wait until morning so she
doesn't have to take the bus from the airport late
at night. But Louise is like, no, I have to
get back as soon as possible. When she gets off
her airplane in Honolulu, she disappears, and a week later,
on April second, Louise's body is found at the north
end of the kit Eh Lagoon. She is naked from

(33:28):
the waist down, her hands are bound behind her back,
and like the three victims before her, she's been sexually
assaulted and strangled. So the whole emma is the same.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
And then three weeks after that, Jesus Yeah. On April
twenty ninth, thirty six year old Linda Peschi leaves her
work in her car.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
So.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
She also works for a phone company. She's recently been
promoted there. She's a single mother devoted to her daughter.
She has a roommate, and she tells the roommate tonight,
I have a meeting, so I'm going to be home
later than normal.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
When Linda doesn't.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Arrive home the next By the next morning, the roommate's
really concerned. She calls up and finds out Linda left
work at six point thirty. Her roommate calls the police
because she knows that Linda would never go anywhere without
her daughter, which it would never happen. And Linda's car
is found on the Nimitz Highway at the northeastern end

(34:24):
of the Khi Lagoon, and from what the police put together,
they figure that her car broke down half a mile
from a bus stop. No yep, So they immediately call
a press conference. They warn the community that Linda is
now considered a missing person, and they tell women not

(34:47):
to leave their car if it breaks down. If your
car breaks down on the side of the road, stay
inside of it with the door locked. And then the
police say, which is very touching and sad, this involves
everybody's wives, everybody's girlfriends, and everybody's daughters. We have lost
our innocence as a community. How terrifying it's And also

(35:08):
when you go over there, it's so tiny. I mean,
it really is a community. Everybody knows each other on
all these islands. I mean, I can't speak for a while,
but the places I've been, which is Maui and Kawhi,
it really seems like you're coming into a neighborhood. It's
not like, you know, a whole island. It's just a
little neighborhood where people like wave to each other as.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
They drive by.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
Four days later, and this is where it gets fucking
weird as hell, a forty three year old mechanic calls
the police and tells them that a psychic told him
that Linda Peschi's body was located in a place called
Sand Island, Oh. And he tells police that he followed
the directions that the psychic gave him and that he

(35:52):
thinks he found the body. And he also explains he
knows Linda Petchi because she tried to sell him a
pager one time, so that they had had a connection
at one point. Is she uh huh? So police check
Linda's appointment book and they see that this mechanic's name
is actually Anna's information is in her appointment book and

(36:15):
she had written it in there the day she disappeared.
So they go to sand Island. The authorities go to
Sand Island with this mechanic and he shows them around
the whole island. I don't know how big it is.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
I imagine it's some little place, but the size of
a grain of sand.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
I'm not I'm not sure. He walks around the whole island,
avoiding one spot, and then he's like, oh, I guess
it's not here. When police check out that spot, that's
where they find Linda Peschi's body. Dude. She is face down,
covered in dirt and there's a concrete block on top
of her and she's been raped and strangled.

Speaker 1 (36:52):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
So meanwhile, when she went missing, the police actually put
up a roadblock and they started asking the stopped commuters
and asked them about what they saw the night that
Linda's carr broke down on the side of the road,
and one witness said that she saw a Caucasian or
a mixed raced man in his thirties or early forties
driving a light colored American made van that had black

(37:16):
lettering on it, and they were he was seen in
his van on the side of the road with Linda
and a broken down car.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
The mechanic fit the description.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
The mechanic that brought them to Sand Beach fits the
description of this guy. The mechanic that brought them to
the sand beach has a light colored American made van
with black lettering on it. He's forty three years old.
He's like right in there, and he lives in the
Ewa Beach Ewa Ewa Beach area, which actually the task
force had you know when they do that thing where

(37:46):
they do like with this compass or whatever, and it's like,
this is the area they'll probably live.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Because it's like right in the vicinity in the middle
of Yeah, yes, like that.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
So he was right in that spot. Ewa Beach was
right in that area. I'm sure some FBI profiler, I
don't know specifically that's who it is. But they had
basically figured that he worked at an air cargo company
or a place near or at the airport on Lagoon Drive.
Police figured that he worked at the airport or near
by the airport.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
I was going to guess the airport.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
Yeah, the mechanic who called them and talked about the
psychic worked at an air cargo company near the airport
on Lagoon Drive, which is the road that runs along
the kit E.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Hey Lagoon dude.

Speaker 2 (38:32):
Yes, this guy has no prior record, but he does
have relationship it's issues.

Speaker 1 (38:37):
Yeah, I mean, well don't we all.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
They start to surveil this guy and they see they
catch him trying to scrape the letters off of his VAM. Yeah.
On May ninth, six days after he had led the
police to Linda's Linda Pesche's body, They bring the mechanic
in for questioning. He sits in the interrogation room from
eight o'clock until three in the morning, barely moving, arms crossed,

(39:02):
head down. He won't say a word.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. They give him
a polygraph. He fails it, But the police know that.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
They only have circumstantial evidence, that basically it's just eyewitnesses,
and so they go and talk to his ex wife
and his girlfriend, both of whom tell police that this
guy's into bondage, specifically tying hands behind the back.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
Also, the girlfriend says that they got into fights and
he stormed out of the house on the nights that
these girls went missing. No, yes, but again this is
all hearsay, And he said, she said.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
You imagine realizing that when you're like put the knights
together and you're like.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
The slow burn reveal of this person is not only
who not who I think it is, but perhaps a
complete monster.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Oh yeah, so, of.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Course, of course I don't know what's happening to me.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, he
lawyers up and never talks to police again.

Speaker 2 (40:11):
They go to the DA saying, we have all this,
but it's all circumstantial, and the DA says, if we
take this to trial, we will lose and he'll be
gone forever. When the mechanic walked out the police station door,
the local press was there waiting, and someone asked if
he knew Linda Peshe and he started to say, I
haven't talked to. Then he stopped talking.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
And what does that mean?

Speaker 2 (40:34):
He realized he should not be saying anything to the
press at all. What was he going to say? But
he basically started to give an answer, I haven't talked
to and then Linda since the day I killed her.
I mean, so months after this, a woman comes forward
and says, and she ends up. She says she saw

(40:54):
a man by the side of the road, the woman
broke down car, the whole thing. They put a photographic
line up in front of her and she picks the
mechanic out, are you kid?

Speaker 1 (41:05):
Well, but maybe she saw him on the news months later,
like that's weird, right, Well, but here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
She will not testify because this is like an actual eyewitness.
But she says when as she passed. He turned and
looked her right in the eye, and she was so scared.
She's positive if she testifies, he'll kill her. That's how scared.
It's like scary. He was.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Oh God, did you see his pictures?

Speaker 2 (41:29):
I see I did see a picture. Of course, transition lenses.
So he looks like every he looks like any of
those killers. Yes, like a dammer style.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
Yes, skinny.

Speaker 2 (41:40):
No, he had the kind of a round face. It
was just like but I mean, it could it could
completely be circumstantial, and he just got caught up and
it's not him.

Speaker 1 (41:49):
No, he ended up.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Uh. They continue to surveil him. He then goes to
the Midwest. They call whatever state he goes to, and
they continue to surveil him. While he's there, they call
the FBI. They follow him to the FBI follows him
to Europe twice.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
What the fuck?

Speaker 2 (42:08):
He then moves back to the East. He comes back,
goes to the East Coast. They continue surveiling him them.
They never catch him doing anything, They never see anything suspicious,
nothing at all. He ends up dying in two thousand
and three.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
What the fuck?

Speaker 2 (42:23):
So in twenty sixteen, the Honolulu Police said that they're
stepping up cold case in cold cases and investigations, which
is what everyone's doing now, which is amazing. And they're
afraid that they want to retest the DNA they have
on file. They're not sure if it's still viable because
it's from almost forty years ago.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
No, we were fine with that, We us US DNA experts.

Speaker 2 (42:48):
Uh huh, like me. You can make it work, we
can make it work. Okay, good, But they say that
they consider all cases open until the suspect is identified
or caught. Another one didn't happen after that.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Correct, It all stopped after that. It was him.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
And that is the story that's ad of the Honolulu Strangler.
There's not that much about it because it's like the
classic cold case, but there was Case File has an
episode about it, which that guy couldn't be more detailed
or awesome. So I'm sure there's there's more stuff in there.
And then I did find there is an ID channel,

(43:26):
of course, if you google the Honolulu Strangler, there's an
IG channel. There's an episode of a show called something. Yeah.
It's like a bunch of a bunch of cases.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
I think profile this is one of them.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
And it's one of them. You can look at when
you google it, you can find a couple things.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
But wow, that's awful.

Speaker 2 (43:44):
I've never heard of it.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
I've never heard of it.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
I mean, it's yeah, it's crazy. Also, just when those
when it is such a classic serial killing case and
there's no it couldn't even be like it's not it's
not far apart like the first one. There's eight months,
but then it's just like this a month or every
two weeks. That's like it's classic serial killer. Like this

(44:09):
guy's just driving around hunting at night.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
I mean, and then like his ex girlfriend who's just
like every time we got in a fight, that was
a night.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
I mean yeah, oh yeah, so many coincidences, right.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
But they but they aren't shit dude, Yeah, that's fucked up.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
Yep, Okay, good job, m thank you all right, give
me in a second, did you see it?

Speaker 1 (44:35):
No?

Speaker 2 (44:38):
When will you accept that I wear glasses? Put that
down and I'll do we'll do an eye test. I
have a problem where I always think Karen.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
I always think I don't hide my shit enough, and
I think Karen is gonna know five seconds before I
tell her what murder I'm doing.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
I feel like was your sister or brother sneaky with you?
Did they do weird shit like trick you into things?

Speaker 1 (45:00):
All we did with each other was sneaky, tricky with
each other, like it was every man for himself. I'm
going to find any kind of dirt against you.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
I can.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
She subscribed to read your fucking diary and tell mom,
oh fuck, and it's not a mystery.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
See, Laura was the exact opposite. Laura was like the
don draper of uh I never think about you at all,
where like if I put something down like that, she
would never even take the time to look at it.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Well, how are you going to get? You know what
you do all the time That drives me fucking crazy
because all I want to do is look at it
is you don't close your like you don't.

Speaker 2 (45:34):
I know You've mentioned that to me a one thousand times.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
I just feel like I'm going to see something that
you don't want me to see that I don't want
to see that.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
I'm going to get them see like because you love
to look at people's mows. No, but I won't do it.
I don't do it. I don't do it.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
Although I was at Joe Derossi's house the other night,
and he had them like a stack of checks, you know,
like to deposit, and he's like, can I look at
your checks? And it was just like, what's that? Who's
this for?

Speaker 2 (45:59):
What's this for?

Speaker 1 (45:59):
Like I totally did that, and I was like, that
might be rude. I'm sorry, Well he would tell but
Joe is a good enough friend. He said, I would
tell you if I would say no if I didn't
want you to. And I said, I wouldn't have asked
you if I knew you wouldn't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's really funny. I love looking at people's like weird
per diem not predym. But what's it called residual?

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Uh huh yeah, that's where it's like, why did you
get a check for four dollars and ninety four cents?

Speaker 1 (46:24):
That's right, we're in China. Did the show you were
on for three minutes?

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Play? I still get checks from the Drew Carey show.
Shut up, it's.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Insane, But they truly are like crazy for nine cents.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
That was so long ago.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
It was over fifty two years ago. It doesn't make sense.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
It was fifty two years ago.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
Tonight, tonight, Why is your carry on your porch all right, listen,
look and listen. In a fucking stunning coincidence. Oh, we
are going to remain on the island, the fucking you.
You and me and Stephen are on the fucking coincidence island.

Speaker 2 (47:02):
Yeah tonight.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Yeah, we're the only inhabitants because we're about to fucking
do the Galapagos affair. Oh island time island, fucking.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
Touch shit now, just so you know, I'm on this island,
but I'm not here to make friends. Good luck.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
I'm gonna throw you under a bus literally. Okay, okay, wait, sorry,
really quick. There's a documentary about this, right, yes, I've
been told to watch this documentary probably fifty times night,
and I hear it's amazing.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
They were right, everyone was right.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Okay. I know, we're like, shut up, I know everything,
and you're like, you know, it's fucking good. Okay, okay,
but I'm gonna use your help with so every character
in it looks so much not like anyone, okay, that
I can't describe them by saying they look like a
young so and so great so and you're good at that,
so my mager help. I even showed events and it's like,
who does this look like to you and he's just
like my friend Dave from college. No, no, you did

(47:52):
get one, good one. Okay, okay, so can I just
tell you sorry? Tell me always?

Speaker 2 (47:56):
You giving me a job? You just you just picked
up the second grader inside of me and made me
sit up real tall.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
I have a job.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
I'm ready. I can't wait for me.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Okay, here we go, right, let's just start. Okay, this
is what's gonna happen. So this story is told by
the inhabitants of this story, like based on the letters
that everyone wrote, the books that were later that they
later wrote about it.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
So what is fact? Then? What is someone else's story
and isn't true? And is true?

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Is like left up to fucking conjecture. Amazing, there's some
word that sounds like that. Yes, so but here's what
we know and here's how we are going to do it,
and just.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Really quick, that's all. The only the way we tell
all stories is just through the eyes of either the
police or a reporter or a family member. Like you
always forget that because you're like, no, this is fact, right, And.

Speaker 1 (48:51):
When we do our research, we try our best to
find stories that are like to look for the stories
that everyone is telling and the piece together what sounds
like the most plausable based on what we're telling you.
And so we're fucking wrong too, probably, so we're adding
to that guaranteed. So, but we're right always. Floriana Island,
let's start there. It's one of the islands that make

(49:13):
up the archipelago archipelago, archipelago. Didn't know that word before
I heard it on Well, let me say this podcast
hold on archipelago. Great, thank you to the podcast the conspirators. Nice,
we're telling me how to say that archipelago. All right,
So here we are archipelago that makes up the Galapagos Islands.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Formed by a volcanic eruption.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
It's like another little tiny cluster of islands like near
Ecuador that we're like that, you're in the middle of
fucking nowhere.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Okay, let's see, did it? Uh uh?

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Floriana is named after Juan Jose Flores. He's the first
president of Ecuador. During his administration, Ecuador was like, you
know what, these Galapagos Islands are ours?

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Goodbye wow, and they're like okay.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
The islands are of course known for their unique and
wondrous creatures like giant tortoises that are used as an
inspiration for Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species. That's what
everyone knows, knows it for. You know, the island some
motherfucking there was like all these like Europeans and pirates
and people who would take over this little island, the Floriana.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Then one dick was like, I'm gonna play a.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Joke and I'm gonna light a little fire and it
ended up burning the whole fucking island down.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
No, and it's let's see, that's not a funny joke.

Speaker 1 (50:32):
No, it's the helmsman of the Nantucket whaling vessel the
Essex in eighteen ninety does that, and the captain of
the vessel swore retribution on the culprit. But then the
ship is rammed and sunk by a sperm whale. And
that's when Herman Melville got his fucking idea to write
Moby Dick shit. Yeah, so there's like history, wow, you

(50:55):
know what I mean, But like, don't burn a fucking
island down, dick, especially not an archipelago, an archipelaga marka
belong Okay. But the nineteen twenties Ecuador is broken. They're like,
we need some fucking money. Let's sell the islands to
help with our economy. So then Europeans are like, great,

(51:15):
let's go buy some of these islands and fucking live there.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
It's you know, post World War.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
One, there's an economic crash and everyone's freaking out. So
that brings a wave of European settlers and they want
to buy the land and they want to live on
a tropical island paradise, like this idea that this is
going to be paradise. So two of those people are
doctor Frederic Ritter, who's forty three, and his lover who's

(51:42):
fifteen years younger than him, Dora Strauch. So she's a
teacher and a board fucking housewife. They're from Germany, and
they had met there when Dora had become a patient
of doctor Friedrich Frederick. So they had met when Dora
had became a patient of doctor Ritter. He's a dentist,

(52:03):
I think, and she had. Dora had been diagnosed with MS,
and all of her doctors are like, it's incurable, you
can't do anything about it. Fucking deal with it, goodbye.
But doctor Ritter was like, uh, fuck that shit. He
believed he was like super into NIETZSCHEE. Oh, and he
was like, here's uh, here's what's gonna happen. If he

(52:25):
believed in the healing power of thought, he may explained
to her that she didn't have to submit to her illness,
and she fell in love with him. He fell in
love with her, and uh, they decided to leave their
spouses for each other. Wow, he looks like Steve Zon.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
You know, nice? You know what I mean? I love Steve.

Speaker 1 (52:44):
Zon like a rugged Steve's on, Oh, like a rugged nineteen.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
Like did you ever see Sunshine Cleaning Company? No, he's
Steve's on in that movie.

Speaker 1 (52:56):
Is a cop?

Speaker 2 (52:57):
Okay, So he's insanely yoked. Yeah, like no longer hippie
Steve's on. He's like, he's evil.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
Cop Steve's Okay, he's like Steve's on and Popeye had
a baby.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Yeah you know what I'm saying. And she looks like
a young Emma Thompson. Okay, Okay, that's a nice combination.

Speaker 1 (53:13):
Right. So doctor Ritter, he's an eccentric. He set he
study studies. NIETZSCHEE Like any good angry hipster, I wrote, sure,
because it's like, oh my god, like if you went
on a date with a guy was like, I'm really
in a nietzschee.

Speaker 2 (53:27):
I'd be like, oh wait, sorry, really quick, that's my
friend over there, and I would fucking run as fast
as I could.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
Exactly Baker Baker bye. So he's into his philosophical principles
and advocacy for a natural life and a vegetarian diet,
and they want to go to an idyllic Pacific island existence.
He just fucking hated modern life. He was like, get
me the fuck out of here. Everyone walks too slow.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
This sucks.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
I don't want to be a do go to what's
tropical island. Let's get the fuck out of here. Everything
is like all about buying, buying shit. It's impersonal, it's valueless.
I hate it.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Okay, I can get I'm not sure sure. And Dora,
what's that character? Sometimes it's fun to live a valueless life.
Oh okay. So Dora is like, fuck you know, she's
fifteen years younger. She's like, oh my god, this guy
is the smartest guy ever. I'm obsessed with him. I'm
in love with him. He looks like Steve's on.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
He looks like Steves On. So she also hated this
bougie lifestyle. She didn't want to be a fucking housewife
for the rest of her life. And she was pissed
off that she had this like disease that was like
ravishing her body and her I guess her husband might have.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
Been a dick.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
So she said that existence poisons the spirit, which isn't
just mere existence. No no, no, that existence though, that life. Yeah, yeah,
you know. So she calls doctor Ritter her teacher and
her guide and her fate.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
H oh, I know, right, she.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
Got a bad Yeah, wanting to leave civilization, they decide
to leave their spouses, and they said to the spouses,
take care of each other. Oh, she like, don't do that.

Speaker 2 (55:06):
Then you're like looking across the room at some stranger
like yeah, really, what do you like?

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Yeah, So they leave their spouses, they get the fuck
out of Germany, and they travel to the uninhabited Floriana
where they could indulge in his raw food theories. Oh no,
huh uh, And he could write his magnum opus, which
is a philosophical theo theothist book. And then I wrote

(55:33):
and where he could mansplain her in privacy.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
Now, if you're a doctor, that's not man's blaming that's
you know, way more of the dentist a person. Oh okay,
all right.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
And does he just because you're a doctor and you
like memorize some fucking medical books, Well.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
Yeah, if you're a doctor talking to a patient, that's
not man's plain. Yeah, but it's now his fucking lover, right,
you know. But she was just like, there's a lot
of editorializing. Fair enough, just putting it out there.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
But okay, So the pair lived by the strict Nietzschean
principles that doctor Ritter had imposed on them, including nudism, vegetarianism.
I hate these people so much. They're like, he sucks
so hard. She went with him for some reason.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
She's like young and thinking, I don't.

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Think she's that young. I think he was forty three
and he's fifteen years younger. So how many years is that?
That's thirty so she's like late twenties. Yeah, so she's
not that young. She's not like a thing sent seventeen
year old, you know.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
But I get it if you have some kind of
disease where you're just like, yeah, oh wait, I better
grab life while I can't sure.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
And this person is telling me that I can overcome
this disease where everyone else is like, great, you're an
invalid now, and she's like I want this, yes, and
I'm sick of this boring lifestyle. I think her husband
was a dick. She's like, fuck this shit, Okay, I
get it. Listen, I'm behind it in my ear, like
late twenties, the fucking dudes I had crushes on.

Speaker 2 (56:55):
Oh, it's all like Cureka garden, fucking veganism and shit
where you're just like you're so different and new. Yeah,
smoke pot all day.

Speaker 1 (57:02):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Oh my god, this is groundbreaking philosophies. Good job everybody.
You're not It's not that you're lazy and a band.
It's that you're a genius. It's not that nilm.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
I'll hire you. It's that you don't care about money.
I get it now. I also don't care about money.
I have to pay rent again. Yeah, okay, I'll do it.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Sounds good.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
Great, someone got to care about that money. Okay. But
here's what our exes didn't do. Oh so he had
this doctor ritter or the dentist, had this obsession he had.
He was also really into obsessive mastication, which is exactly
what it sounds like chewing, chewing a fuck ton a
fuck ton of chewing.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
Now you know you're supposed to cheo thirty five times
per bite?

Speaker 1 (57:46):
Did you know that?

Speaker 2 (57:47):
I didn't. I don't do that. I rarely do it,
but everyone's all remember and then I start counting, and
then I'm like, this is insanity.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
Yeah, yeah, I hate it.

Speaker 2 (57:57):
I remember reading Sorry, I remember reading it. Sorry, this
story is here. I read an article called chew your
juice one time that was like, you need to do
that to juice as well as food, where it's like,
because your your saliva acids needs to break down.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
The thing where I was just like, ah, none of them,
then I'll never get cancer.

Speaker 2 (58:16):
Yeah, and then I'll be beautiful. Forget it, Yeah, forget it.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
It's like it's like the brushing your hair a hundred
times thing where it's like but some people are like, no,
it'll break your hair, and it's like can everyone just
shut up? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (58:27):
Or how would I just do whatever?

Speaker 1 (58:29):
Yeah? Howbould I do my best? So and my worst?

Speaker 2 (58:33):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (58:34):
And his worst was that. So we worked at the
same time. Just now our burp cycles are matching up.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
Oh my god, so sorry, I'm not talking anymore.

Speaker 1 (58:44):
No, no, no, keep talking because you see are because
I'm gonna say some shit. Okay, so this rule is
obsessivemestication rule had destroyed doctor Ryer's teeth, so the dentist. Yeah,
so before they left Germany for this fucking island, he
was like, there's not going to be dental shit on
this island. So he pulls all his teeth out what
and he instead gets steel dentures, stainless steel dentures. No, no, no,

(59:08):
before leaving Germany. So he's got a fucking mouthful of nothing.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
So he is a bond villain un on an uninhabited
island and a nudist.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
Do you think like but if like they were leaving
the night before and then he did that and she
was like, oh shit, oh I already told my husband
to go off with his wife. This might have been
a mistake. Shit, I gotta go through it now. Yeah okay,
so uh not. Surprisingly, though, doctor Ritter is actually like
kind of a bully. He refuses they get to the island. Great. Yeah,
he refuses to allow Dora simple pleasures that his philosophical

(59:42):
principles didn't allow, like coffee and her teeth.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
No.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Once on the island, he preemptively removes her teeth as
well with garden tools, and together they share his set
of dentures. No when they need to eat.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
So then they have to sit there toothless while the
other one choose multiple times.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
And like pass it back and forth. Like my mom
and her boyfriend do the cute thing where they like
have his glasses and she hands some day and they
look at the menu together with their glasses. Very sweet, adorable,
And now imagine that with fucking teeth. This is we
have just gotten to this island, and I'm so disturbed.
It doesn't matter what happens after this, it gets so

(01:00:26):
much worse. You also just okay, just like the whole story,
just just remember that they don't have teeth, because why
you could have moved from like where were you, Cologne, Germany?

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Why didn't you just move over to Berlin and trust
it out?

Speaker 1 (01:00:42):
Go to what's the island the English where they have
the cows and go to Guernsey, Like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:49):
You don't need to go to Galapagos test Island first,
which ireland?

Speaker 1 (01:00:54):
Like even even there's like a Galapagos Islands, Santa Cruz.
It's like kind of inhabited, but like a Norwegian people.
It's like people are just doing their best there, but
it's not like you can just be your own person.
They were like, fuck no, and they went to this
fucking place where the closest neighbors were sixty miles away
and I almost I don't know. And it's also not
like it's not paradise. If you look at this documentary

(01:01:18):
and these photos, it's like this crazy rocky, like black
lava rock beach with like sticks and stuff. And then
they get and then they get there and they're like, right,
we're just gonna plant food and stuff and it's going
to be amazing. But it turns out that it's hard
to live on an island because they had to where
did I put that? Okay, it's actually constant fucking labor

(01:01:41):
instead of the life of contemplation that Dora had envisioned.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
So a year.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Okay, so they said they were like, we want to
be fucking Adam Adam and Eve. Sure. Great. So a
year and a half in, finally they're Eden is starting
to come together. Dora had tried to keep up with
doctor Ridder. I'm calling him doctor yeah, doctor Ritter, yeah,
because he's like, you know, Popeye and She's like, what's up?

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
I have MS? Right, But she's like, and no.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
Teeth, ms and no teeth And he keeps telling me
how it's like mind over matter. So like, I can't
you know, I can't be sick. He's I can't imagine.
He's a guy who's going to bring you like a
fucking cold washcloth when you are no.

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Just imagine a cold washcloth on your forehead. Why do
you need a real one?

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:02:29):
Also, there's no cold water here, so calm down. All
the water is boiling hot. I don't know, there's no Okay,
you know he's not gonna baby you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
Yeah, you know the way we all kind of need
when we're sick, because we just want somebody to be like,
what can I bring you? He's like, do you have
any more tea that could pull out?

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
Judeus?

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
Did I leave one in there?

Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
I'd love to pull at least five more teeth. There's
got to be something.

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
And so it turns out, uh that doctor Ridder's man's
bleading bullshit had not cured Dora of her ms, which
would flare up and make it hard for her to
do any manual labor. And like they're pulling, like in
the documentary, they're pulling trees down and carrying the giant
banana stocks and shit. Yeah, but that only made doctor
Ritter pissed off that she couldn't get it fucking together

(01:03:12):
and ignore her MS.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
Ignore her fucking she couldn't need you her way out
of MS.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
Oh, this is like when you pick a bad boyfriend
to get away from your current friendship group. You know,
sometimes that happens. You're like, no, I just need to
be with him all the time. You're sick of the
people that you're spending some.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
Of the life you have of like mine was like
going to like you know, dancing and going to clubs
and drinking fucking long island iced teese.

Speaker 2 (01:03:39):
Yeah, so I founded boyfriend. I'm like bye, no, I'm
all about this guy now. And then it's like, but
you didn't move to an island to San Francisco. Ooh,
same thing, same thing. Actually, yeah, well, so you know
exactly what Dora is painful about. How are your teeth
in San Francisco? Well, these are all fake time, They're huge.

(01:03:59):
I can't get over it. No, you shouldn't get over it.
It's so nuts.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
Ladies, Okay, ladies, look and listen. So Dora in her
writing complains that, uh, doctor Ritter, his name's Frederick, but
it's Frederic, but I don't want to, you know, say
it wrong, like.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
It's the European spelling of Frederick. Yeah, but it's not Frederick.
Fred's good.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
Let's call him doctor Fred.

Speaker 2 (01:04:22):
Okay, Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:23):
She's like, fuck doctor Fred. He's dissatisfied with everything I do.
He's stern with her even when she's sick, and he
would write home and he would only speak of her
negatively in his letters, being like she can't keep up,
blahbaty blah. It's like, bit she came to a fucking
island with you and took her goddamn teeth out. She can't.

(01:04:46):
I loved this and it doesn't need to be in here.
But she's like, I can't find kindness and patience with
doctor Fred. So instead she'd be like her burrow. Her
donkey becomes like her best friend. Oh and there's like
video of her playing with this, like sweet donkey, it's
like a dog, and they're like playing and dancing like,
oh my god, it's her baby. It's like her baby.

Speaker 2 (01:05:06):
It's so cute.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Oh no, And then fucking uh doctor Fred gets pissed
off about how she loves animals.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
He's like mad about it. Yep, yeah, exactly, that's a
Nietzsche was big into animal abuse.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
Right, and then I wrote this, this bitch took her
teeth out for him and he can't even baby.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
Her once in a while. I want to know how
long they were together before they left Germany. Oh, that's
a great question.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
It was like six months, if it was three weeks,
and if they were together and hadn't left their spouses yet,
so they had never like spent that real night together,
like a week together, or even a weekend.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
Which is what used to happen to people all the time. Yeah, like,
I'm super in love with this person, but you've never
spent the night.

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
With them, exactly, exactly, Yeah, okay, okay. So they write
letters documenting their lives on the island. They send, they
send home, and they send to a newspaper in Berlin
publishes these letters and without them knowing it, they become
fucking like kind of famous as the Robinson Caruso of

(01:06:09):
the Galapagos Islands. So they're like on the cover of
newspapers being like, look at this, like modern day Adam
and Eve, and they're like living out the land and
it's paradise and like everyone's like about how incredible this
is that they're doing this.

Speaker 2 (01:06:21):
So they didn't know what was smiling at any pictures.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
When they find out they're famous, they're fucking pissed off
about it. And the press had grand grandized their lives
on the island and called them eccentrics and philosophers. It's
like this, you know, noble thing they're doing and not
they don't write about probably how bad they smell.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
I'm guessing that donkey's like I'm gonna stand over here. Yeah,
even the donkey's like gill ye.

Speaker 1 (01:06:48):
So even a ship full of scientists from America or
the US who were documenting all the exotic animals throughout
the Galapagos stop by Floriana just to see the quote
modern day Adam and Eve. So they were like, we
got to add this as a stop on our way.
These like famous fucking this couple, Like a cruise ship
would go by. It's like they're big yacht. Oh okay, okay,

(01:07:10):
So they were. They all the scientists got off the
island and they all made friends, and you know, it
was a positive thing. Even though doctor Fred was like,
but I don't want any more visitors.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
But and then he just like opened his lips, I
don't want any more visitors daily teeth.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
Okay. So, three years into their life on the island,
in the summer of nineteen thirty two, a fucking schooner
arrives carrying Heines Whitmer and his wife, Margaret, who's five
months pregnant, onto the island, and Hines's son from a
previous marriage named Harry, who's a teenager. So his Harry's

(01:07:49):
Harry had fragile health and he had gotten sick resicker recently,
and they had been reading about these adventures in the
fucking tropics. They were like, fuck this, let's get out
of here and bring our family and go live on
this island.

Speaker 3 (01:08:05):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:08:05):
They were also German. They had sold all their possessions
after reading about this stuff, and we're like, we're going
to do this. Once they pull up on Ao the beach,
they were like, oh shit, this is not what we
fucking thought it would be. They find a desolate island
with only one stream. So Hines and Margaret are like

(01:08:26):
comparably very normal, Like they're a normal couple with normal wants,
et cetera. And the doctor and Dora are like, this
is the most boring couple that could have come to
this fucking island. Like, we're not going to have they
say to each other as they pass teeth back and forth.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
Yeah, you're right, they're boring.

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
They're the boring ones, fucking lunatics. So when the when
they uh so, the doctor and Dora start fucking blobberty
blowing about Nietzsche, the winners are like, double, what the
fuck this? These are not normal people. These people are bananas,
And they're like, what did we do? We shouldn't have
come here. And then Margaret also, who's five minutes pregnant,

(01:09:09):
she expected that this dude, doctor Fred would fucking doctor
her help her with her pregnancy. Dude just like for free,
you know, and a dentist, and he's a dentist. I'm
not one hundred percent sure he's a dentist. It said
it in some of the shit and some of the others,
but it's it is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
That's a mistake you could make where it is still
counts as a doctor.

Speaker 1 (01:09:32):
Right.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
You could be a doctor and be a researcher. You
could be a doctor and be like no, I just
wrote a super long paper. Yeah, it doesn't mean I
know how to deliver your baby. Yeah, yes, that's true.

Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
Yeah, so uh and and doctor Fred is like, I
don't want to be a fucking doctor anymore. Fuck you
normal woman, you think I'm going to deliver you fucking baby?

Speaker 2 (01:09:52):
And then it can't be too normal if they just
shut their whole life down and then we're like, oh,
we're gonna go live with people from a magazine.

Speaker 1 (01:10:00):
Well almost seems like they had this like fantasy of
what it was going to be like and it was
not like that at all. And of course Dora immediately
dislikes Margaret the pregnant woman because she's content to be
a housewife, Like it's, you know, just be a mother
and a wife, that's all she wants. Yeah, So it's
immediately like disdained for each other. So Doctor Fred's of

(01:10:21):
course pissed to have these boring, uninvited guests. So he
uh is like, yeah, let me show you where you
can stay, and he like walks them for like an
hour to these caves where pirates used to live, and
he's like, here's your home, goodbye, and like leaves them
there to fucking find for themselves.

Speaker 2 (01:10:40):
Such a dick. These are our guest caves. There's towels
in the way back. They look like bats, but don't
even pay attention to that. Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:51):
But it turns out that the whit Mars are good
at island living, and quickly their little enclave is thriving. Oh,
which of course pisses doctor fred Off, because if they
didn't have the same experience.

Speaker 2 (01:11:03):
Well, you know what it is is that they had
three sets of teeth, and that's the.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
Key to island living.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
I got a nash.

Speaker 1 (01:11:10):
You gotta be able to nash if you want a cake,
if you want to thrive on an island.

Speaker 2 (01:11:15):
We've always said that you and.

Speaker 1 (01:11:16):
I, You and I. That's basically our fucking tagline or
this podcast. Okay, so they're doing well at the caves.
They're doing great at the caves, pisses doctor fred Off.
But quickly they kind of fall into this understanding of like,
you know, they're not vesties, but they are.

Speaker 2 (01:11:34):
They're doing okay, they're neighbors, you know, no one.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
Loves their neighbors, and everything kind of settles down and
everyone settles into this life. Fine, great, and then the
fucking baroness shows up. The baroness, the fucking baroness. Is
that my part? This is where Karen comes in. Karen
comes in, no joke, riding a fucking donkey, A second donkey, yes,
oh hell yes, yeah she did and steal the other one,

(01:12:00):
so I don't know which. I tried to find this
fucking happy like the friend donkey, so like the name
of it, and I couldn't find it at all. Let's
call him Clive, Okay, Clive, Okay. She comes up. This
woman gets there. She is the Baroness. Elouise werborn du

(01:12:21):
Wagner Bosquette is her name. Hell, yes, but we're gonna
call her the baroness, although I do love the name Aloise.

Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
She comes to this fucking island. I think she had
been reading about it as well in the newspapers. And
because she's also German, she said she's from Vienna. And
she's like, guess what, motherfuckers, I'm opening a luxury hotel
for American milliars millionaires on this island. What's up here?
I Am coming in on a donkey. Margaret's the first
one to see her. She fucking pulls up. She's got
like a gun and she's flanked by two men that

(01:12:53):
are both her lovers. Yes, my role of a live time.
And she looks like, all right, here we go. Here's
where I need your help. Okay, okay, hold on stack.

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
Yeah, this is my favorite story of all time.

Speaker 1 (01:13:06):
Okay, tell me. I need you to tell me what
she looks like. And I need you to tell me
also if she kind of looks like me. She has
my mouth.

Speaker 2 (01:13:13):
Okay, these fake teeth I have, she has them straight
out a goalapa ghost.

Speaker 1 (01:13:18):
All right, so this is she here?

Speaker 2 (01:13:21):
She is okay with her two lovers. Sweet, so into
two lovers. Just get it going?

Speaker 1 (01:13:29):
Whoa okay?

Speaker 2 (01:13:30):
Yes or no? She kind of looks like me.

Speaker 1 (01:13:31):
I feel like it's like a Clia Duval.

Speaker 2 (01:13:34):
You know who she looks like is Maggie Jillen Hall.

Speaker 1 (01:13:37):
Totally straight up.

Speaker 2 (01:13:38):
You are much much prettier than this lady, the Baroness.
The Baroness is so funny. She totally looks like I
need you to know this. Yeah, this is my speciality.
That's Maggie Jillen Hall. Do you want to see the
Toothless Wonders? Yes? Please? Oh wait a second, I'm just
going to say her.

Speaker 1 (01:13:53):
Lovers look like I was gonna say, the blonde one
looks like Prince Charles, a young Prince Charles.

Speaker 2 (01:14:00):
No, you can do better than that. Well it's the ears.
You nailed that, okay, because he's tall and skinny, but
he actually looks like James Cromwell, the actor James Cromwell. Yes,
La Confidential.

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
They're like, can you believe James Cromwell was this hot
when he was young? Yep?

Speaker 2 (01:14:16):
That baby in the city definitely.

Speaker 1 (01:14:18):
Then this guy in the front, no one ever like
maybe a Steve Martin character. Yeah, like from the jur
He totally has Steve Martin facers, like squinty eyes but
also standardized good looking. It's like a Steve Martin doing
a character. It was like weird, curly wavy hair. Yeah,
he has very twenties hair. It looks like, yes, he

(01:14:40):
puts a headband in to make it look like that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:42):
One hundred percent. Let me find Also, I don't doubt
that those two guys might not look for the affections
of each other. I think I think we all slept
in the bed together, do you know what I mean?
I think these guys kicked off pan sexuality eighty years
before it was cool.

Speaker 1 (01:14:56):
Well, so here's the thing. Okay, here's here's Steve Martin. No, no,
uh no, the guy who I said that toothless people
look like Oh yes, yes, doesn't he kind of how
come we can't.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
From Amber Eric Van, you're thinking Vince Fawn.

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
Yeah, it looks and he's dead on. She's a young
Emma Thompson. Maybe yeah, I think there's something better there,
but I can't put your own.

Speaker 2 (01:15:27):
There is something better, but you know what it is
not a lot of actresses look like this woman because
she had her nose is kind of big, so you
don't get very many mainstream actresses that look like this.

Speaker 1 (01:15:39):
And mainstream actresses usually put in fake teeth after they
pulled them on it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:45):
They wouldn't go full dentures for a man. You know
who he looks like And maybe this is why you're
thinking Emma Thompson. He looks like Kenneth browna who's that
he used to be married to Emma Thompson, remember that guy.

Speaker 1 (01:15:59):
No, let me look, you know, I don't know anyone
be if Bron Bron, Oh here he comes, Bron, let's see.

Speaker 2 (01:16:05):
Oh yeah, come on, dude, Hong Kong right now, guys,
I'm doing that when you pull the air for a
semi truck to hockey.

Speaker 1 (01:16:14):
She's conk so and then the Whitman's whipmers are just
so boring that they don't even They're not gonna look
like anyone, Okay, you know, yeah, you want to see
them though they're sure.

Speaker 2 (01:16:26):
They're just not. They just look anybody, like anybody. They
look like nobody and anybody. Okay, they're fine. I'm going
to picture those two people from the American Gothic painting.
One guy looks like an old.

Speaker 1 (01:16:35):
Oh my god, is that it?

Speaker 2 (01:16:37):
Yes, I'm psychic, com yunk.

Speaker 1 (01:16:42):
Born bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:16:44):
Okay, I just have to say, guys, I've been drinking
cold brew coffee and I have lost my mind.

Speaker 1 (01:16:51):
Karen came over. I'm out of water, so I was like,
don't see cold bruch. And I was like, you pour it.
I don't want to like make it for you because
I know how hard it is. And she pours herself
some and I will, oh shit, oh shit, like she
pourted that much in her and I've only had half.
You've only not even had half.

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
So yeah, this is the greatest experience.

Speaker 1 (01:17:08):
Is This episode is to warn you about the dangers
of cold brew coffee. Can I tell you one of
my saddest things had happened while you were gone really quickly,
so you missed me sidebar, and then I missed you. Okay.
There was an estate sale close by and they had
a photo on the fucking listing of the case that

(01:17:30):
when you that you would get you'd see in health
class when a cop would come for like dare or
to like warn you of drugs. The case that they
opened up and showed you all the drugs. They had
a fucking narcotics example case. Yes, And I fucking almost
lost my mind. I went early in the morning on
like a Thursday morning before therapy. I was late to therapy.

(01:17:54):
I didn't tell her why, but we have talked about
my shopping addiction. It's fine, everything's fine. Uh was gone already,
and I was that's where I got you the fucking
paint pine numbers.

Speaker 2 (01:18:04):
That thing is amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:18:06):
I really wish I had taken the price tag off
so you didn't know his pitching dollars. But I saw
it and I was like, I have to get this
to Karen. But like, through the week since you've been gone,
I've been like getting used to it and liking it,
and I was like, do I get that to Karen?

Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
And then you came in. I was like, give it
to Karen, Georgia, come down, you have everything, and suddenly
it's missing from the wall in my house. I'm like,
wait a second, it's weird. God, that was just pointless, okay,
super worth it.

Speaker 1 (01:18:29):
Boo boo boo. But they also go for like four
hundred dollars on eBay. I found out since paint by numbers, paint,
you know, the drug Paine, the drug suitcase all someone
whose dad was a dare counselor go into your basement.
I promise you're going to have one of those. Like
there's a thing that calls that. It says like a
heroin outfit and it shows like the heroin shit like.

Speaker 2 (01:18:52):
I woon and a needle.

Speaker 1 (01:18:53):
It's called a heroin outfit. And then someone on my Instagram,
where don't you hate when you go to a party
and someone's wearing the same hair. I loved it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:03):
Okay, I want one anyways.

Speaker 1 (01:19:06):
Two lovers. So her lovers are Robert Phillipson and Rudolph Laurens.
He's the blonde guy. She's so the Baroness is described
as a flamboyant and ill tempered woman hell from Vienna. Okay,
she Both couples are on the island are fucking scandalized
as shit by her and her lover's arrival. She is

(01:19:29):
way before her time, like feminist as fuck. She's brash
and brasien. She dominates her lovers, who are by all
accounts terrified.

Speaker 2 (01:19:38):
Of her but clearly turned on by it.

Speaker 1 (01:19:41):
Right, I mean they came to a fucking island with her,
you know, she's most definitely a narcissist.

Speaker 2 (01:19:48):
She yes.

Speaker 1 (01:19:50):
She even later convinces those scientists when they come back
on their yacht to like visit the island again. She
convinces the captain to make a silent film with her
starring her, and she's a man hungry pirate pirate trists,
pirateists in the movie. In this silent film movie amazing,

(01:20:10):
which it is in the fucking documentary or you can
just watch it online.

Speaker 2 (01:20:15):
It's like a silent film.

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
She's wearing like a mesh like you can see her
titties like, it's like a mesh shirt, nips are out
like and apparently she walks around the island in a
brawn underwear and doesn't give a fuck, like with a
fucking pistol and shit. Oh yeah, she sports a writing
crop and an ivory handled pistol pistol which she's fond
of pointing at people who displease her. Her name is
Karen Kilgera. In another way, this is what you're gonna

(01:20:40):
be like as an old woman.

Speaker 2 (01:20:41):
This is I cannot wait. Well, we don't like this
part though, Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:20:45):
She liked to shoot animals in the leg so that
she could have the pleasure of nursing them back to health,
you monster. In fact, she once stole a burrow and
I don't know if it's a cleave Clive, I don't
know if it's cly, but she took a burrow from
the doctor Fred's house, put it into the patio of

(01:21:06):
the Whitmers and uh so, and then the Whitmer was like,
I thought it was you know, wild, and shot it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:16):
So like she's stirring shit up. She's like kind of a.

Speaker 1 (01:21:18):
Yeah, she's trying to mix it up. She has fun
fucking with people.

Speaker 2 (01:21:22):
Of all the people that could land on that island,
the baroness shows up, well.

Speaker 1 (01:21:26):
She's like, I'm gonna make a million bucks with this
fucking isle or a hotel of mine. Amazing, Yeah, so okay,
writing crop baby buck Okay. She even chased visitors off
the island one time, shot one though he shouldn't kill him,
don't worry. This of course pisses everyone else off, and
she continues to do so by anytime, Like people would

(01:21:49):
come by and passing ships and leave them gifts of
like food and you know, shit to help them live.
She would fucking be like mind bitch and like steal it.

Speaker 2 (01:21:58):
With their boobs swinging, got it, come and fight me
for it exactly, And she would open their mail, and
so the outgoing mail she would write her own version
of shit with her as the star.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
So like the shit that went to the fucking newspapers
would be like this baroness, who's this hot fucking you
know lady, And so she became like the star of
the island, which of course pissed everyone off.

Speaker 2 (01:22:22):
Well she she deserves it.

Speaker 1 (01:22:23):
Does she?

Speaker 2 (01:22:24):
Okay? Yes, probably.

Speaker 1 (01:22:27):
She would change the wording of his letters, and she
became something of an international celebrity because the public loved
the scandalous tales of her, so like like yachts would
come to see her and bring her gifts and shit.
I bet yeah. Uh, everyone else is like fuck the ship.
They complained to the governor of the Galapagos, and he
pays the visit to the island to be like, let

(01:22:48):
me sort this out. Fucking totally falls for the baroness
is bullshit because she's charming as fuck, yes, and he's like, uh,
he grants her four square miles of territory for her
proposed hotel include oaching clues that stream that everyone shared. Oh,
the Witmers and doctor ritteran Dora only get fifty acres each.

Speaker 2 (01:23:08):
Yeah, because they're not interesting. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:23:12):
I think doctor Ritter and Dora are pretty fuck or
doctor Friend and door A pretty interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:23:16):
But they just took it in such a weird direction
of removing their teeth.

Speaker 1 (01:23:20):
I feel like they're.

Speaker 2 (01:23:21):
Boring in their interests boring and they seem crazy like
and they think they're really interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
Yes, it's like fake.

Speaker 2 (01:23:28):
The Nietzsche interesting is not truly interesting because that's not original.
You're just reading something and repeating other people's ideas and
then pulling each other's teeth out.

Speaker 1 (01:23:36):
And then in addition to that, yeah, and listen, I'm
probably saying Nietzsche wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:23:40):
I don't give a shit, Oh did I said?

Speaker 1 (01:23:43):
And Nischi, listen, I didn't go to college and I
don't care look and listen.

Speaker 2 (01:23:46):
Can't not interest it?

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
Okay? Boom boo boo.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
All right, so now here comes the email from Nietzsche himself.

Speaker 1 (01:23:52):
How dare you he's dad? Karen is a corrections corner.
We know this for as time exist is he is
he an uber mint? Or not?

Speaker 2 (01:24:00):
Time is a flat circle? That's from true detective? No
is it?

Speaker 1 (01:24:05):
Okay? So now shthearts starts hitting the fan. In nineteen
thirty three, the island is hit by a year long drought.
So of course everyone's like up on their fucking crazy time. Yeah,
you know, sure that stream becomes very important. I would
imagine that stream becomes a trickle of fucking water. Oh shit, yeah,
so all the plants and shits start to die. That's

(01:24:26):
their food source, especially those fucking nietzsche vegetarians over there, right.

Speaker 2 (01:24:30):
They can't eat burrow meat.

Speaker 1 (01:24:32):
No, the Witmers blame the Duchess and her entourage for
the drought because of the stream.

Speaker 2 (01:24:38):
Doctor Fred's pissed.

Speaker 1 (01:24:39):
That so many people are on his fucking island. The
baroness is fucking with both her lovers and pitting them
against each other. Yes, her former favorite, the blonde guy
Rudolph Laurens, becomes like a slave and has to like
build a hotel for them.

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
He's like a whipping.

Speaker 1 (01:24:55):
Boy to her, and he has to do all the
difficult labor.

Speaker 2 (01:24:59):
Did I tell you the hotels called the Hacienda Paradisio. No,
that's right, that's rat.

Speaker 1 (01:25:03):
That's also what your house is called now.

Speaker 2 (01:25:05):
That sure is buzz.

Speaker 1 (01:25:07):
That's what your pussy is called now. So many donkeys
edit that out, Lorenzo edit that out?

Speaker 2 (01:25:24):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:25:24):
He and Lorenzo's barely fed enough to survive, and she
lets her lover beat him as well.

Speaker 2 (01:25:30):
So she's letting one lover beat the other one while
she starves him and he does all the work. There's
no way he wasn't into that somehow.

Speaker 1 (01:25:37):
M hmm, Like he's that was definitely it was sexual,
definitely probably Okay. So and then there are rumors so
like mister Whitmer and fucking doctor Fred are both like
hate this woman. Yeah, but there's rumors of them both
making regular visits to her.

Speaker 2 (01:25:56):
Fucking huh d donk. They're like Hey, I just want
to up and say I saw your your booby swinging
on the beach today, and I just want to say
I'm a big fan and thank you so much. Yeh.

Speaker 1 (01:26:08):
And so then probably the wives are pissed or the
women are mad about that too. I mean, listen, I'm
not going to be Maybe they're hooking up with her too.

Speaker 2 (01:26:15):
We don't know. Anything could happen, but you know when there's, like,
especially at this time, a strong woman that's like bossy
and making waves, Yeah, there's that is a scapegoat waiting
to happen.

Speaker 1 (01:26:27):
Plus, like Dora goes there to seemingly to be subservient
to this man that she is so excited to have
all for her, like to herself. Like when I was
that young and I would date older dudes, I'd be like,
all I want is to be somewhere alone with you,
and like for you never to look at another woman again, right,
like just pay attention to me. Yeah you know, yeah,
so my teeth impossible. Yeah, I took my teeth out

(01:26:48):
for you, motherfucker. Then you learn that you have to
become the person that the other person is, Like all
I want to do is be alone with you.

Speaker 2 (01:26:54):
And be with you forever. That's right, so that you
can go no, thanks, yeah, or you both have that.

Speaker 1 (01:26:58):
And then you're me and vinced.

Speaker 2 (01:27:00):
Oh my god, sorry Chris, call the therapist and cancel
all your future appointments.

Speaker 1 (01:27:05):
We're fine.

Speaker 2 (01:27:08):
Next time I come here, it's all silver tea, shared
silver tea. You guys didn't do it. Please tell me
you didn't do it. Elvis has turned into a burrow.
We name him Clive. Jesus correct, Jesus Clive.

Speaker 1 (01:27:20):
Jesus Clive. Okay, Lord d Da pissed out the Baroness.
But okay, wait, no, no, okay, so and Lorenz this the
fucking whipping boy is like one took over the line
or like you didn't listen to my safe word or something. Yeah,
he fucking gets the fuck out of there.

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
And goes to the Whipmers.

Speaker 1 (01:27:36):
He first goes to doctor Fred and Dory's like, get
me the fuck out of here, and they're like, no, no,
we like the Baroness will be pissed at us. So
he goes to this sweet Whipmers. We're like, they seem
like a very sweet normal family. She has her baby,
they have children on the island, like they're truly just
trying to be like really seems like it getting.

Speaker 2 (01:27:53):
Away from it all. Let's get the young asthmatic to
get some fresh air type of stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:27:58):
I think they have really good intentions and they were
born a normal and just like wanted to live this
island life. Okay, So they do take Lorenz in, and
that of course pieces the baroness off, because then Lorenzo
tells them that she isn't a fucking baroness at all.

Speaker 2 (01:28:14):
Oh she's not. I'm sorry, No, she's not.

Speaker 1 (01:28:18):
She'd actually been a cabaret dancer in Constantinople during World
War One. Yeah, you mean it used to be a
symbol and now it's coming like basically yeah, okay, and
then I love her more. Now she's insane. I love her.
She had met and married a French merchant. Together they
moved to Paris. This is a little foggy. Lorenzo might

(01:28:41):
have been the like the man who put the money
up for them to open a boutique in Paris, or
she just meant him there, I can'tly tell. But then
the other, the whipping guy, the other one, Phillipson gets
hired at the boutique and then she's like what's up?
You're my lovers? Yes, and they're like, is this included
in the minimum wage?

Speaker 2 (01:29:00):
So we're making it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:29:03):
So by March of nineteen thirty four, the drought had
already lasted for months, and it's up to one hundred
and fucking twenty degrees in the shade. Oh yeah, no,
very hot. I am just that stupid fucking cut in
the heat. I can't deal with anything.

Speaker 2 (01:29:17):
I can't deal with much over eighty five, no eighty seven? Lah, yeah, that's.

Speaker 1 (01:29:23):
Fine, and then leave me alone. And of course all
the food growing in the gardens die, and a ship
isn't showing up like usually there's a ship every month
or two. A ship hasn't come for months, so there's
no extra supplies. And then one evening Dora hears that
she's relaxing, trying not to sweat her teeth out, she

(01:29:46):
hears a blood curdling scream of a woman in the forest.
Two days later, Margaret and Lorenz show up to her house.
And this is according to her fucking story. So this
is according to Dora.

Speaker 2 (01:29:58):
Yeah, okay, this is what she says.

Speaker 1 (01:29:59):
Happens, uh, Lorenzo Margaret, So the fuck boy and the
mom normal name and the normal lady they are. They
show up and they're acting all like fucking cage and
like rehearsed and shit right okay, and they're like, uh, hey,
you know what. Guess what's so funny? The Baroness showed
up at our house and she was like, hey, our

(01:30:21):
friends just showed up on a yacht. So me and
Phillipson the like current, fuck boy, we're totally leaving the
island to.

Speaker 2 (01:30:28):
Go to Tahiti for a bit. See you later, like
see you.

Speaker 1 (01:30:31):
I wouldn't want to be a oh like they just
fucking left, okay, they just left. So she did divide
up her stuff well exactly. Oh, and she said the
Baroness was like keep an eye on my shit or
don't because I might not be back. Go bye. And
so Lorenzo Lorenz is like, well, uh hey, uh Dora,
do you don't want to like buy this shit because

(01:30:51):
I need to get money to get the fuck off
this island now. Oh, even though like maybe she'll come
back or maybe she won't, right, And Dora was like,
we didn't see a fucking ship, Like you see a
ship if it's coming in. Yeah, we didn't see a ship. Yeah,
so Dora goes with them back to the Sanda Parodisio. Wait,
did they actually build that place or build a place?

(01:31:14):
They build a place a huts and things, and one
of the like scientists who showed up was like it
was fucking disgusting, like the sanitation was terrible, Like it
wasn't a Hacienda Parodisio okay at all, that was.

Speaker 2 (01:31:29):
Just the name.

Speaker 1 (01:31:30):
Yeah okay.

Speaker 2 (01:31:30):
But so Dora super suspicious.

Speaker 1 (01:31:33):
But she goes to the hacienda with them, sees a
bunch of her stuff is gone because Margaret took it.
So they like Margaret has her really nice beautiful I
guess said, like a tablecloth and shit. And then Dora
goes into the bedroom and like freak, has chills down
her spine when she sees on the nightstand the baroness's

(01:31:54):
prize possession sitting there on the nightstand that she never
fucking left the house without Guess what it is her whip? No,
you're wrong, sorry you no do it. One more it's
not a weapon. Oh, it's a book.

Speaker 2 (01:32:11):
It's a book, the Bible. Two more guesses what book?
It is?

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
Like a book that like in college you were like
this is the book and like I know this book,
this is everything. It's not catching the ride because it's
too that's not written for a while. But it's the
future copy of.

Speaker 2 (01:32:30):
The Infinite Jest.

Speaker 1 (01:32:32):
It's like it's like it's I have no okay, it's
the picture of Dorian Gray.

Speaker 2 (01:32:36):
Oh yeah, interesting, And that was her prize.

Speaker 1 (01:32:39):
Possess, Like that was her prize possession, her good luck charm.
She carried it with her everywhere. It's like such a
college girl thing to do, like, oh my god, calm down.

Speaker 2 (01:32:46):
You know, it's such a fake baroness thing exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:32:51):
And the camp is basically pillaged by the two families,
like they just take everything.

Speaker 2 (01:32:56):
So shortly after, Lorenz is.

Speaker 1 (01:32:59):
Like, I got to get the fuck out of here,
so he hops like a Norwegian comes by from Santa Cruz.
He hops his boat and later's the fuck out of there.
Sees that there's going to be a big boat on
this other island, so he is trying to get this
fisherman to take him to that other island and the
other and the fisherman's like, well no, because it's Friday
the thirteenth, and I refuse to fucking boat on Friday

(01:33:20):
the thirteenth, oh, Lorenz offers him enough money that he says, Okay, wow,
day motherfucking disappear. No, yeah, they disappear. Just the boat
is gone and they're both gone.

Speaker 2 (01:33:31):
Everyone's gone.

Speaker 1 (01:33:32):
WHOA, let's not worry about him right now, Okay, because
maybe he killed the baroness and her lover, So like,
do we care what happens to him?

Speaker 2 (01:33:40):
No, not necessarily, but it's just I love a mystery.

Speaker 1 (01:33:43):
And the mystery too is like who actually the baroness
and this stude are never seen or heard from again,
they don't show up in Tahiti. There's no boat that
maybe came in Tahiti, Like who killed them? Yeah? Right,
So personally I think it's uh, mister Whitmer and Lorenz,

(01:34:03):
but Margaret knew it was going on or like, you know,
shovered it up at the end in on it like yeah,
but who knows?

Speaker 2 (01:34:11):
And also they had.

Speaker 1 (01:34:12):
These trees there, this wood there that you could burn
and it would burn so hot that it would burn
even bone. WHOA, yeah, okay, that's bad. So all right,
So that happens, and then like this is the fucking
dismantling of the island. This is when everything falls apart
at this point clearly. Then, So doctor Fred, there's like

(01:34:34):
a pig and it's sick, and he kills the pig
and then he feeds the pig to the chickens, and
the chickens all die, and they're like, let's not get
rid of the chickens. Let's can the chicken, because if
you boil the chicken long enough, it'll kill whatever the
fuck the botulism that's in there, and it'll be fine.
We can eat it. It's fine. And they even offer
some of the whimers and they were like, no.

Speaker 2 (01:34:54):
Thank you, way, but.

Speaker 1 (01:34:58):
They but Dora is like, no, oh, it's fine. Cooks
the chicken. My burrow. Elvis is being a very bad boy. Okay,
cooks the chicken. And you're like, wait, they're vegetarian, but
all the plants had died, so they have nothing really
to eat but meat. They have to eat it. Yeah,
she cooks the chicken, she feeds it to herself and

(01:35:19):
doctor Fred, and doctor Fred immediately becomes super sick with
botulism symptoms like paralysis and difficulty breathing. Oh no, hun
gets all swollen and shit. She didn't Dora didn't go
to get Margaret to help her, until like he was very,
very ill.

Speaker 2 (01:35:35):
She's had it with him, She's fucking had it with him.
She's like, Okay, you're really sick. I'm going to get
you help. But just as a test, do you want
to eat a little more chicken, just to.

Speaker 1 (01:35:45):
Test it out? And then she goes, look, I'm eating
some too, and then she does the thing where you
like you turn your head to the side and you
pretend to put it in your face and you drop
it behind your shoulder.

Speaker 2 (01:35:53):
She steps behind a screen. Look, I'm eating chicken too.
It's like that.

Speaker 1 (01:35:57):
Trick everyone's doing online with the dog blanket, when they
like do the blanket and they drop the blanket and
the dog's like, where'd the person go? It's like that,
but with chicken, with bachelorism, or.

Speaker 2 (01:36:07):
Maybe just like two fingers making a rabbit. Yes, also
there's that one that's easier. Let's name tricks.

Speaker 1 (01:36:14):
So by the time Margaret gets there, he can't even
fucking speak. He's dying. His illness progresses, it's getting worse
and worse. Of course, in Dora's book that she writes
about it, she's like, you know, we had this moment
he looked at me with his beautiful intensity, and we
and I read NIETZSCHEE to him and he was like,
mark that passage that'll always remind me you of me,

(01:36:35):
and all this like romantic shit. Margaret's like, fuck that shit,
I get there. He can't fucking speak. He gets a
pencil and starts writing some shit and uh his final
moments and writes a note to Dora. It's so romantic.
Are you ready for this? This is like his last words. Okay,
I curse you with my dying breath.

Speaker 2 (01:37:00):
Can you even?

Speaker 1 (01:37:02):
And she she probably opens her mouth and shows her
him the lack of teeth.

Speaker 2 (01:37:07):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, he's got to teeth.

Speaker 1 (01:37:09):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:37:09):
I'm on the phone, like, I know, I'm laughing at
people dying. It's terrible. But well, but this situation, this
is not random violence. This is not someone plat this
is they've all chosen to put themselves in a situation
that is insane.

Speaker 1 (01:37:24):
Yeah, and it's like, who do you think you are
that you're going to go to the goalopagos islence and
like have a happy, normal life.

Speaker 2 (01:37:30):
I'm just so grateful that to live in the time
where the Internet came into existence, where we all know
now better than to just you just don't move to
an island like.

Speaker 1 (01:37:40):
BuzzFeed will tell you the top ten places to go
in the world and you don't need Number eleven doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (01:37:46):
Never Goalops, that's fifteen men's men and mom's so the
body of oh so shortly after he curses her with
his dying breath.

Speaker 1 (01:38:00):
Shortly after he curses her with his dying breath. That
probably smelled terrible because his fucking gums were robbing it.

Speaker 2 (01:38:05):
He'd already taken those teeth out. It was all gums.

Speaker 1 (01:38:08):
Before she buried him. I'm sure she took the standless
steel teeth and were like, these are my none. The
missing Norwegian fishermen and Lorenz are found. It turns out
like they must have gotten into a storm and blown
off course and landed on this other island called Marchina. Okay,
there are photos. There are mammified bodies washed up on

(01:38:30):
the fucking shore. O the fucking sweet blonde kid who
was just like, all I want to do is kill
my fucking tormentor and get out of here, like that's
all he wanted.

Speaker 2 (01:38:41):
But the Lord says no.

Speaker 1 (01:38:42):
The Lord was like, no, Ann, We're taking this fucking
innocent and innocent Norwegian fisherman.

Speaker 2 (01:38:47):
Who just was trying to do somebody a favor. I
just needed the money. He had like kids and a
wife and shit, it's so creepy. It's like the boat
is this.

Speaker 1 (01:38:53):
Tiny little windschooner and there they're mummified on the island.
They had some food, but there was no water. They
died of thirst. Oh no, yeah, And shortly after doctor
Fred is buried on the island or later is the
fuck out of there and goes back to Germany.

Speaker 2 (01:39:10):
So everyone else, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:39:13):
Dies, departs or you know whatever the fuck bales bales,
shit happens to them that I can't tell what's true
or not.

Speaker 2 (01:39:21):
Okay, but then leave too.

Speaker 1 (01:39:24):
No, Whitmer's fucking stay and flourish on that island because
it turns out they're dragon They are vampires, and they
have all their teeth and then some.

Speaker 2 (01:39:38):
They have seven sets of lizard teeth exactly. They still
populate the island. Whitmore people, Wow, they built a hotel
and shit, like, just like she fucking wanted, yes, and
they're like, you know what, that was a good idea.

Speaker 1 (01:39:51):
Yeah, you know what, we're taking in and running with it.
Margaret Whitmore, the fucking matriarch. She passes away at age
ninety five in the year two thousand on the fucking
island Whoa. She stuck to her story that the baroness
and her lover had hopped a passing yacht, even though
they were never ever seen again. Wow, and that's the
fucking Galapagos affair.

Speaker 2 (01:40:14):
I'm I'm glad I never saw that documentary.

Speaker 1 (01:40:18):
Because that's so so fresh. Your version is the best experience.
This is the I am a documentary maker. I mean,
that's you.

Speaker 2 (01:40:31):
It's if you just told me a series of lies.
It couldn't have been crazier.

Speaker 1 (01:40:35):
That's not been an episode of drunk history. Is this
is a drunk history?

Speaker 2 (01:40:40):
This is this is fully a drunk and cold cold
brew coffee history. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:40:47):
Yeah. Like I had always like seen the photo and
like known that there was this crazy story, but there
were so many names, and I got confused and stopped
paying attention to this story so many times. So when
I finally decided to do it, was like, this is
gonna be great. Something me get my story straight. This
is a great fucking story to just yell at people
when you're at a party thinking and you know, have
you ever heard this, because someone's going to bring it

(01:41:08):
up and you're like no, and you're going to tell
them all the crazy stories and.

Speaker 2 (01:41:11):
Shit, you know that's like the best.

Speaker 1 (01:41:13):
Oh, that's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:41:15):
Also it is that was a time where people we
shout on them a lot, but up until I think
that was the end of it, that adventuring, you know
what I mean, people going like I'm going to go
there and start all over whatever, Like people really did
do that for a long time. Well, what's really cool.

Speaker 1 (01:41:31):
So the documentary is called The Galapagos Affair Satan Came
to Eden, which you're like, calm down, but that turns
out that's what fucking Dora's book was called.

Speaker 2 (01:41:40):
Dang.

Speaker 1 (01:41:41):
They actually like and they it's really good. It is
really good. They interview other families members who did go
to the Galapagos to live and make like life there,
so you kind of understand what motivated people. So it's
it's a cool kind of it's a cool movie that
tells that story and narrates their letters and shit. It's
really good, amazing, but uh, yeah, I curse you with

(01:42:03):
my dying b Well what a dick? Can we please
get that on a balloon? Like a mylar balloon at
the grocery store.

Speaker 2 (01:42:14):
Can we please please get though with you know those
half heart necklaces. That's great, a greeting card.

Speaker 1 (01:42:23):
Anything I want is some fucking I curse you with
my dying bread.

Speaker 2 (01:42:28):
That is high level storytelling. That was amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:42:32):
Thank you. Oh what is your uh what do we
call it?

Speaker 2 (01:42:37):
Fucking hooray?

Speaker 1 (01:42:38):
The fucking hooray? Well, oh, I do want to say.
This made me think of it's weird that I did
this because I'll do two. I'm gonna do two quick ones, okay,
because one is really fucking depressing. Okay, listen, I cannot well, okay,
we all have to watch Nanette. I haven't finished it yet,
so I can't plug it. But we're getting there.

Speaker 2 (01:42:58):
Yes, right.

Speaker 1 (01:43:01):
I cannot tell you how triggering this, this thing I'm
about to fucking plug is. Okay, So don't watch it
unless you have therapy plan the next day. I almost
called my therapist in the middle of it. Don't watch
it alone, and don't watch it if you have a hiss. Okay,
do watch it. Though it's called The Tale, it's by
documentary filmmaker Jennifer Fox. It's one of the most insanely

(01:43:25):
beautiful movies I've seen. I know what this is and
I'm talking about it's stars. What's her face?

Speaker 2 (01:43:30):
Is it? Als? And Jammy?

Speaker 1 (01:43:31):
No? Is it the other one? Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:43:34):
Uh, it's Laurie Metcalf. No close, it's uh, you know, Oh,
she's so good, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:43:40):
Uh, hold on, Sarah Paulson, Stephen please, Laura darn it
stars Laura Dearn. It's this woman, Jennifer Fox, who's a
documentary filmmaker. That's what she does. And then she decided
to make a movie about her experience as a thirteen
year old being basically groomed and sexually molested by someone

(01:44:05):
she trusted, and as an adult suddenly realizing that the
narrative she had in her head of it, which is
that I had an affair with an older man, is
not what she fucking thought it was. Yeah, and it's
so well, it's really really triggering, and I normally wouldn't
bring that up, but it's so well done and so
important and hit me in so many fucking places of

(01:44:25):
my own thirteen year old issues. Yeap that it's really beautiful,
but it is incredibly triggering, Like I would say, watch
it in pieces, but it is an important, really important movie,
and I hadn't heard about it before this, so I
just wanted to. I really do want people to watch it,
and it's I mean, it's really moving.

Speaker 2 (01:44:45):
Wow. Yeah, I definitely heard about it, but that there's
also then Hannah Gatsby's comedy special Nenet. When I hear
about those that seem like it's a heavy see or
it's it's you know, there's parts that are really hard
to listen to, or there's lots of crying. When I,

(01:45:07):
you know, sit down at night. These days, I feel
so stressed about the reality of the world that I
am definitely one hundred percent in escape mode when I
watch stuff. Yeah, so I very rarely want to go
into that heavy stuff. But I've had a couple people,
especially about Nannette, be like, no, no, no, it's very
important that you see it.

Speaker 1 (01:45:27):
Yeah, it's like, stay off the internet for one day
and watch this important thing that will empower you because
it really you know, Vince was out of town when
I watched this thing alone, and at thirteen years old specifically,
which is the same time period of this woman's life,
I thought it was just an adult. I thought I
was making decisions on my own. I, you know, made
very poor decisions in my life and then you come

(01:45:48):
back and you have to wrap your head around them
and understand them. But it's so beautifully done. It kind
of every single woman you know will relate to it
in some way amazing, and it's and Laura during it's
just such a treasure. Oh and then fucking Jason Ritter, Yes,
who's like, he's the best. I don't want to see
him this way. Yeah, he plays a creepy character in it,

(01:46:11):
but he apparently he like had this pause filming to cry, sure,
and all these other little things that you're like, I
don't want Jason Ridder to be like this because I
love him. But it's almost makes him better because he
then talks about it and they bring us important subjects
up and.

Speaker 2 (01:46:25):
It is important.

Speaker 1 (01:46:25):
Yeah, and especially if you're a parent to a young
girl or you know boy, it's important. Well.

Speaker 2 (01:46:30):
And when I read that he played that part, I thought,
that's such brilliant casting, because those are those wolf in
sheep's clothing. They never seem like the kind of person
that would do that, and there they they're the ones
that can be like, I'll drive your kid home. Nobody deal.

Speaker 1 (01:46:44):
I mean yeah, and then Ellen Bernstein plays the mother,
so it's just like Burston. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna call
her Berenstein Bear. Do you love how I just confidently
say words like I don't dude.

Speaker 2 (01:46:57):
That is the theme of this show. Confidently.

Speaker 1 (01:47:00):
It's just a really really I just I don't want
it to go hidden because it's such a hard subject
matter and so hard to watch because it really is important.
Good and it did make me understand myself more good. Yeah,
but tail, but if you have issues around it, you
be careful watching it, right, you know?

Speaker 2 (01:47:19):
Okay? Cool? Yeah all right?

Speaker 1 (01:47:22):
And also hashtag or epic lava flow has been putting
me to sleep at night.

Speaker 2 (01:47:29):
What's that mean?

Speaker 1 (01:47:31):
There's an instagram called it's just called epic Lava Underscore
and some dude who lives on fucking Hawaii randomly this
is what I'm into lately, just filming lava flows. And
it's the most relaxing thing you've ever seen in your life,
like up close lava bursts and lava flows and it's
just really cool in my life.

Speaker 2 (01:47:48):
Because they had that, they had the major volcanic eruption.
Where did you see those? Like the video of the
lava that's just coming down the street type of shit.

Speaker 1 (01:47:57):
Like close up of that, which I know is horrible,
and it's like people's houses are being ruined and shit.
It is as but as a you know, it's almost
like a SMR for your eyeballs need. Yeah, there you go, goad.
I guess this was very exciting.

Speaker 2 (01:48:13):
On when I got home from vacation, I did have
a bunch of stuff on my DVR that was waiting
for me and I really I probably have given this
one before because it is a British procedural, but is
the British there's season I believe it's season four of Endeavor,
and it is such a good British procedural. It takes

(01:48:36):
place in the sixth like the late sixties, and I
believe it's in Oxford and he is it's you know,
later on there was a very famous British series called
Inspector Morse. So this is him as a young man,
how he started being a detective and the guy I
want to say.

Speaker 1 (01:48:56):
Sean White, but that's this, that's the snowboarder. Oh you're
San Evans. Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:49:01):
His name is Sean Evans and he is this British
actor and he's so good. He's like this real, this
smart guy detective that listens to opera and you're just like, oh,
you know the guy that you would have a crush
on in college. And it's just a really well put together,
beautifully shot show. So that was waiting on my DVR.

(01:49:22):
And then there's the new season of Shetland, which is
another I believe that's it's Scottish procedural and it's the
visuals talk about ASMR for the eyes. I watch these
shows and I'm usually asleep like twenty minutes in because
they take those long panning shots of like a land
rover driving down an empty road with.

Speaker 1 (01:49:45):
Moors on either side or whatever, moss everywhere.

Speaker 2 (01:49:48):
So gorgeous, and then of course the singsongy beautiful accents
of our friends in the UK. So yeah, I just had.
And then I'll just I'll re up on CBE Strike,
which is now the show. I've already given this as
a fucking ray, but it's now the show I wait for.

Speaker 1 (01:50:04):
I think that comes on either.

Speaker 2 (01:50:05):
On Friday nights or Sunday nights, and I literally am
waiting around for it because I love the lead actor.
I love the lead actress and it's so well done.
CB strike on the one that BB Europe, the UK,
it stars, I think it's stars.

Speaker 1 (01:50:25):
Okay, it doesn't matter, all right, So yeah, of course Cinemax.

Speaker 2 (01:50:31):
Cinemax when I grew up was just the dirty channel, Skinemax.
Well it's new, so you know this isn't your father's dirty,
dirty liple channel. Wrap your head around it. Uh yeah,
so just a lot of good TV. I guess I'm
so vacation too brain to have it. And then of
course vacation.

Speaker 1 (01:50:49):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:50:49):
The song by the go Gos.

Speaker 1 (01:50:51):
Oh I ever wanted. Thanks for listening, you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:50:54):
Guys, this this has been This has been a real
This has been a doozy.

Speaker 1 (01:50:59):
This has been a clusterfuck of an episode.

Speaker 2 (01:51:02):
This has been my favorite murder.

Speaker 1 (01:51:03):
We hope you didn't spit your teeth out laughing your
second and please stay sexy and don't get murdered again.
Good Bye, Elvis, Hi you want to cook?

Speaker 2 (01:51:14):
He good Bye, very good job