January 4, 2021 • 24 mins
This week’s hometowns include a killer photographer and a Christmas Eve robbery.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Love, Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder the Miniso.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
The Miniso the first one of twenty twenty one and
everyone welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Wow, wound effect. That's my whoop old fashioned car. Thank you, coconuts.
You want to after? That's just my hands?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh yeah, yeah, good idea. Yeah, let's tat to do.
This is where we reading your stuff in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
You sent it to us, we read it to you.
That's right, it's so exciting. All right, I'm not I'm
not going to read this subject line. It gives it away,
but one of the greatest intros ever. Okay, Hi guys,
gals and non binary pal yes, love it right inclusive.
I'm currently rocking my newborn to sleep listening to your
podcast and was reminded about a chilling story from my
childhood that I had to share. So, when I was
(01:11):
a wee young in my mom thought it would be
a great idea to have my twin brother and I
take photos at the school she worked at. Apparently this
was a yearly thing where a photographer let's call him Richard,
would come take slightly incestuous photos of siblings who went
to school together. What how my brother and I were
the lucky ones to pose holding hands hugging a tree.
(01:33):
Super great. They're just saying that basically, it's like stuff
that siblings would normally never be doing. Okay, because that remember,
it's like you'd have to take a picture. It's like
you and your sister cheek to cheek, where it's I
have what we.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Have one where we're leaning our heads on my brother
who's in between us, and I'm making a face of
like just I don't want to be here, faith, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Just get get me for one of these two people
punches me. Yeah, Okay. Well, well, I was looking at
the photo the other day and my mom said, nonchalantly,
I love those pictures. Too bad the guy who took
them was a murderer. Shocked, I asked her to explain.
She said that every year, Richard and his wife will
(02:14):
call her, Pam would come to school and take pictures.
Pam was always in good spirits and assisted Richard in
lighting poses, etc. Well, one night, Pam was found bludgeoned
to death in the snow in front of her house.
Richard had been physically and emotionally abusing her for years,
killed her with a baseball bat, and he was later
found in their garage, having killed himself. Apparently Pam had
(02:39):
been working at a well, we'll just say she had
been working part time and told her coworkers that if
anything had happened to her, Richard was to blame. Richard
and Pam are survived by two daughters, one of which
is adamant that her father didn't do it. Thank you
for keeping me awake during my son's four am feedings,
especially since his dad is deployed and my dog doesn't
(03:00):
help much with the baby. Stay sexy and don't trust
baby photographers all the best, Bay. Wow, what a horrible story,
all cor round, all around horror, fine, just awful. And
I wonder if this story is especially sensitive to a
new young mother, oh, a baby photographer, where it's just like,
(03:21):
I bet that's the kind of stuff that all comes
back up as your well, I mean, her mom said
it right, but also just as now you're in that
position of like where you're bringing your kids and what
you decide to do and.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Who you expose them to and not having any idea
yeahther thing a new parent is just constant red flags
everywhere you look.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
It must be it must be all right, this one.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
This is called Christmas Eve near murder miracle.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Oh okay, it just starts.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Hey, hey, hey, My husband and I were flying home
on Christmas Eve when we got a text from a
neighbor that read, OMG, someone just got shot in your driveway.
With that, the flight attendant shut the main cabin door
and we were forced to turn off the phone and
sit in suspense for the next two and a half hours.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
By the time I got home, there was nothing left
but a medium sized bloodstain in our driveway. However, we
were able to piece together what happened thanks to our neighbors,
the police, and our security cams, which caught a lot
of the action. Apparently, a group of four guys and
a nearby apartment complex had tried to buy pot, which
is not legal here, using counterfeit money. Oh don't do that, guys.
(04:39):
I honestly didn't even know counterfeit money was still a thing.
The dealer is a thing. It's like a piece of
paper that you draw on. Counterfeit money. Now more than ever,
the dealers took offence and shot the guys as they
drove away. Four bullets went into the side of the car,
one hitting the driver in the leg. One last shot
(05:01):
went through the back window, missed all four guys and
lodged in the back of the driver's head rest. Oh
exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, but he didn't get you.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, yeah, So the guy speed off in tear.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
They turned down our street and at about when they
hit our driveway, they realized the street is dead end,
so they pull in and ditch the car, running into
our backyard. We're assuming the plan was to run through
to another street, but unluckily for them, our yard backs
up to a reservoir. This is when the adrenaline starts
wearing off and the driver realizes that he's spurting blood
(05:34):
from his leg. They get back to the front yard
and call nine to one one. That's when my neighbor's son,
a former police officer and current owner of a tattoo
parlor aka a very big guy, comes over and shouts
at them to quote get on the ground now. He
ends up having to use his own belt to turn
it get the guy's leg and probably saved his life.
(05:56):
By then the cops are pulling up. The guy who
was shot went to the hospital and the other three
guys had to wait for one of their Grandma's to
pick them up since the cops towed the car for evidence.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Probably not a very merry Christmas for any of them,
but hey, it could have been.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
A lot worse.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Stay sexy, Stay sexy, and just legalized pot already, Sarah.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Don't ever use uh, don't do drugs. Drugs are you know,
drugs are drugs.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Don't use counterfeit money for anything, especially illegal thing.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Not with a drug dealer, now, you fool. I bet
you they're not fucking around you know where you use
counterfeit money. Just this is off the off the top
of my head, like a red box machine, you know
what I mean. Somewhere I guess, I don't know. They
take cash victims, you know, like, yeah, of ski ball
somewhere where you're just you're hurting yourself. That would hurt
(06:54):
the business too. But yeah, yeah, don't use counterfeit money,
but not with a drug. They always have guns. They
have to, they have to. Wow. Yeah, so that's that. Okay, Hi, friends,
I can't believe that after all these faithful, murdering no years,
I never thought to send this to you, But after
(07:14):
the documentary about the killer in question came up in
a recent episode, my memory was jogged, and I thought
you might enjoy this story. A few years ago, one
of the owners of my company was going through a
full on midlife crisis, Having recently separated from his high
school sweetheart wife. He found himself heartbroken and rich, with
lots of wild oats to sew. So he did what
most attractive, recently single wealthy men in their late forties do,
(07:39):
and he bought a sports car and got a killer
bachelor pad and hosted hefner level parties every night with
twenty something year old swippers. Yeah So, After and during
weeks of late night drunken hot tub shenanigans, his downstairs
neighbor was more than fed up. One morning, he awoke
from his stupor to find a note taped to his
(08:00):
front door that said, if I have to clean cigarette
but up off my balcony one more night thanks to
your parties, you and I are going to have serious problems,
Signed your downstairs neighbor. Unfazed, he went about his day,
but happened to mention this note to and its contents
to his doorman as he was leaving for work. The
doorman's eyes immediately widened in a very concerned tone, and
(08:22):
he said, sir, do you know who your downstairs neighbor is,
to which the owner replied no, why, and the doorman paused,
looked around, moved in closer, and said, sir, your neighbor
is Robert Durst. I know it. I was gonnall it.
Oh my god, that's right, Robert fucking Durst. Suffice it
(08:44):
to say, a love note from a serial killer who
was not only who not only murdered his neighbor but
dismembered him too was all that she needed, right, Oh, yes,
his neighbor.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Oh my god, I totally didn't even think about that.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
That was all dB needed to put an immediate end
to his part pardy boy ways, for which his liver
and brain cells were eternally grateful. He even ended up
reconciling with his wife, so I guess to some degree,
Robert Durst saved not only his health but also his marriage.
Not really sure what we all can take from this one,
except to say, stay sexy and maybe do some research
(09:20):
to see if you have a neighbor dismembering serial killer
in your building before you accidentally wind up on his
bad side. Love y'all, xoxo name with hell to protect
my career just in case. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, that's just real that thing to me, that's like
in California you'd have to disclose that, but like anywhere
else in the country you wouldn't. Like, Hey, your neighbor
has murdered a neighbor before.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Right, I mean, do you have to disclose that? Though
you don't have to disclose shit? I feel you don't.
I feel like if you're like out and about, you
just get to go live in people. It's like if
you have That's the thing about rich murderers is they
can do whatever they want because they have the money
to do whatever they want.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
For people who got off, that's why i'm because they're rich.
You can't guys be really don't flip people off in
the car. That's my thing is like you just don't
know who you're driving next to, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yes, you're gonna have That's a great opportunity if you're
feeling road rage to practice just separating yourself from your
emotional tidle wave and saying let it flow through you
and don't react real time, because especially these days where
people are just getting angrier and angrier and angry, or stressed.
(10:36):
Everyone's stressed and enraged and you just don't want it.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
This one is called Creeping Out the FBI. Greetings, MFM
crew and furry companions. I'm a crime analyst for an
urban police department. Several years ago, my partner and I,
along with other analysts in our area, got to take
some specialized training at the FBI Academy in quantico Behavioral
analysis is part of our certification training, but we mostly
(11:02):
see serial property crime and not serial killers, so being
in the FBIBAU is a big deal. After one of
our sessions, they took us down to the basement where
they had some artifacts to show us. The first thing
we saw was a life size animatronic Hannibal Lecter in
a cell who greeted us as we got off the elevator.
We went to a small room where they had letters, drawings,
(11:24):
and papers on display. We were showing a letter that
I recognized as being from Keith Jesperson, so I said, oh,
that's the Happy Face Killer. There were a few clown
paintings that I recognized as being done by John Wayne Gacy.
This happened with a few other items, and our instructor
turned to look at me and said, is there something
we should know about you? I was a bit embarrassed
to be the only analyst who could identify a lot
(11:46):
of the objects. I guess all analysts aren't naturally murderinos,
stay sexy and never let the FBI know how much
you know about serial killers?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Are?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I mean, shouldn't they all know that they freaked out
the FBI? Congratulations A. I want you to be at
every dinner party I have when this is all over.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But also I love that it sounds like it's like
the Wax Museum in their basements, like an animatronic Hannibal
Elector is corny as fans?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
And did my tax dollars go to pay for that?
It's my second question? What do you? Could you seize
that from someone's else? I might write a fucking gift
from some foundation. Well, okay, this subject line is so good.
It includes hand clap emojis.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Yah, it's grandparents, a woman named Bonnie names this story
has it all hand clap emojus. Yeah, okay, I've submitted
this story before, but after hearing your episode from stories
from twenty sixteen, I figured I'd try it again. Here's
to hoping it works. It worked. Yes, please, if you haven't,
(12:55):
try again. We've told you this before. Yeah, onto the story.
My great grandma was raised in southern Utah during the
early nineteen hundreds. So it's long ago hot. It's very hot. Okay,
it's hot, hot, and salty. Her name was Bonnie. Hey, okay,
you saw people have sent us so many bonnies that
(13:16):
are bunnies, But we also got a couple bonnies that
are babies. And the two that I saw were two
of the cutest babies I've seen in a while. Oh
my god. Yeah, you got to pull that name off
the really. Oh yeah, they nailed it. They're just like
there are some Bonnie baby bonnies out there, and there
(13:36):
they are. Okay. Her name was Bonnie, but everyone called
her good Witch. She owned her own cafe, baked the
best pies, cinnamon rolls, and homemade candies. She led her
local women's relief society, swore like a sailor, made and
sold bootleg moonshine during Prohibition, and raised ten kids, the
two youngest of which she won in a peanuckle game.
(13:58):
What im sorry? Oh what hug? Anything more about that? No? No,
that's the end of the paragraph. Holy shit, what the
fuck you're gonna have to write back in about that.
That's horrifying. But although it's essentially like the wild West,
totally we're talking about totally okay. Growing up, she was
(14:19):
one of twelve children who lived in a small, two
room house in the middle of nowhere what is now
Zion National Park. In the spring of nineteen hundred, an
outlaw gang called the Wild Bunch we're on the run
from the Law, and were making their way from Arizona
to Wyoming by way of Utah. That April, my grandma's
parents were making their monthly multi day trip into town
(14:42):
for supplies and left my ten year old grandmother in
charge of her younger siblings. Knowing that the Wild Bunch
was potentially in the area, her parents instructed her to
lock the door and keep the lamps out so as
not to draw attention to the house, and under no
circumstances to let any one in. My God, that evening,
(15:02):
my grandma was awoken by the sound of men's voices.
She looked out the window and saw a group of
men roaming around her home. She grabbed her four siblings,
her youngest sister being just about a year old, and
hid under the bed. One of the men knocked on
the door, and when they didn't receive an answer, proceeded
to break in. The group of men entered the house,
(15:22):
and once they thought no one was there, made themselves
at home, eating their food and making a fire. One
even slipped his boots off and laid down on the
bed in which the kids were hiding under which the
kids were hiding. As my grandma listened to the men chat,
they called one of them by his name, and she
realized the man laying on the bed above her was
Butch Cassidy, the leader of the wild bunch. She was
(15:46):
obviously scared for her life, and she knew if they
were discovered, they could be taken hostage or killed. Luckily,
she and her siblings kept quiet and the baby stayed asleep.
They hid in total silence for hours before the baby
finally woke up and made a little whimper. Hearing this,
the men suddenly stopped talking and drew their guns. Butch
(16:07):
got off the bed, lifted the blanket and looked under
the bed. He and my grandma locked eyes. He winked
and smiled at her. He then announced to the others
that there was no one there and instructed all the
men to remove their guns and place them on the
table in the middle of the room. I've since read
about Butch Cassidy, who, contrary to popular belief, was famously
(16:28):
nonviolent and prided himself for never having killed anyone, So
this move makes total sense.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
My grandma said that she knew that She knew then
that the men weren't going to hurt her, and she
actually felt safe. She and her siblings eventually fell asleep
sometime during the early morning hours, the gang left. When
she woke up in the morning, the men were gone,
the door was fixed, the woodpile re stocked, and a
pile of cash sat in the middle of the table. Right.
(16:58):
I always knew she was about us. I'm hearing this
story only confirmed it. She passed away in the nineteen
nineties and left behind an amazing lifetime of stories that
are captured in her daily journal entries. My prized possession.
Stay well and thanks for all you do. Nick. That
is a fucking legendairy home town stories. Historic. That's so good. Mean,
(17:23):
Oh my god, Butch Cassidy was meg to.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Love you, guys, Monny, because you have little kids are
at her feet why did they leave a ten.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Year old in charge of three children by themselves?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Next time we complained about the eighties, remember they were they.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Weren't ship compared to the nineteen hundreds. The early aughts
were fucking right. Oh holy shit, Nick, that was this story?
Did have it all? Nick nailed it?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Okay, Well, I have a father story to agree with
the family. My Scottish father taught me how.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
To headbutt people.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, Heidi ho MFM gang perfect. I just finished listening
to your minisode with the key in cheek story where
the reader mentioned that her mother taught her self defense skills.
I thought you might like to hear about how my
Scottish father, which somehow makes it so much fucking better, even,
taught me female and my two older brothers how to
(18:23):
head butt people as children.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Yeah, for self the Glasgow, the Glasgow.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Hello, and then it says for self defense question mark
Not really. I distinctly remember my dad describing to me
the quote right way to head butt people. I was
maybe eight or nine years old at the time. It says,
quote people think that you head butt the other person's head,
(18:47):
but you'll hurt yourself with skull to skull contact. The
thing for you to do is use your forehead and
get them in the jaw to dislocate it, or get
them in the bridge of the nose and break That
He told me is great advice, and I'm glad we
all know it now.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
I mean, yeah, it's something. It's something when you're in
a pinch.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yeah, don't ever forget the head the yie old head butt. Okay, yeah,
I have get to use this knowledge in the real world, bummer.
But my dad and my oldest brother have used it
a number of times. So my mom always tells a
story about going to the bar for drinks with my
dad when they first started dating. She had turned her
barstool to have her back towards the wood, and some
random guy came up to her, grabbed her chest and
(19:28):
gave it a squeeze. My dad grabbed the guy by
the collar and immediately headbutted the guy, knocking him out cold.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Yep, that's right.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It's kind of a perfect move because it's like what
you're basically doing is like controlling this controlling the situation,
the joe entirely right where other people are going to
get hurt.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And also when you grab someone by the collar, like
both of your hands are occupied, so they don't know
anything's coming. They're almost relaxed in that way. I've seen
headbutting became popular in my high school. The senior boys. Yes,
the senior boys would headbutt like the younger kids. It
was like a It was very high level bullying, and
(20:08):
I watched many of the boys in my class burst
into tears because it was so but they actually did
it forehead to forehead, and it was loud, and it's
very fucking disturbing. But I'll tell you what. I've also
seen it at at a bar we both used to
go to that the owner did when somebody somebody was
getting riled up in the front and demanding that they
(20:30):
get to come in, and he walked him outside and
then just head butted them on the sidewalk.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
I'm guessing it wasn't the fucking Soho house or like
it was a diary dive.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
How we love to hang out at the fucking so House?
Oh so great there?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
How mean you have multiple headbutting stories and I don't have.
I mean, I'm glad I don't have one.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
It's just pretty much it's my people, It's how my
people do. It's pretty oppressive, I have to say, all right.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
So also, my mom tells the story of watching my
oldest brother's soccer game at a soccer tournament in Pentacon,
British Columbia. I'm sure I got that wrong. He was
about fourteen years old at the time. My brother got
in a fight on the field and the other players
spin on him, prompting my brother to head butt the kid.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
My brother got a red card and was asked to
leave the game. My father, sitting in the bleachers, berated
the referee, arguing it was a bad call. The ref
responded by ejecting my dad from there arena. My granddad,
who was also there, argued with the ref about throwing
my dad out and became the third person told to
leave the arena.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Then Robert Wallace cape and screamed freedom.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
When those sits on his face ghost of their great
great grandfather showed up. It says like father, like son,
like grandson. I guess anyways, Well, I haven't had someone
to mess with me enough to warn a head butt.
I guess it's nice to have the knowledge of how
to head butt under my belt, stay sexy, and if
you're going to head butt someone, aim for the nose, Abigail, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Hell yeah, it's a bridge of the nose.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I didn't know that if I were to have ever
had better than anyone, which I honestly like have always
like in my anxiety, I've always expected I'm going to
have to do someday.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
It's just something you've anticipated. Headbutt.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I've pictured it. Oh oh yeah during my ensomber insomnia. Fytes,
it's been there. You know the plan plan, but I
didn't know. That's that's great to know.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Yeah, these details are important to know actually how to
do it. I tell you though, if I was in
a bar and some fucking asshole came up and groped me,
the man who headbutted that asshole would be my betrothed.
I mean, like, what better surprise she married him. I
mean that's the the dad should have been like, thank
you so much, sir, because you basically, like you, what's better?
(22:51):
Takes care of shit, You don't get to touch people,
and I'm gonna sure teach you that lessons, but slamming
my forehead and your way possible. Yes, And it's going
to be a total It's going to be a koh.
I love the middle of the bar. I love that.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I do love too that, Like, if a guy comes
out at you, he's expecting you to try to kick
him in the balls, right, So like this is another
way to like.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Surprise, surprise, attack, surprise. You maybe lift your leg, you
do kind of a faint, You lift your leg as
if you're it's you're making the effort, and then booth
as you lift your leg and you're looking down, then
you just slam your head.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Some ab work going on in there too, It's like,
you know, it's some some yoga because you got a
balance on one.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
You're like, Also, don't be afraid to drink like seven
shots of whiskey before you head books, because I feel
like that's the crucial element that we are not discussing yours.
It's nice to be fucked up when you do it right.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
It's almost yeah, that's a fair I guess I've been
watching too much Coba Kai, too much Cobra Kai.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Over here. Oh, we've done it. We're back. It's twenty
twenty one.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
We're not going to say anything positive or negative about
it because we don't want to jinx it.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Son. Welcome, just let's just keep it up. Welcome. Let's
just do this thing as we do. That's right.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Send us your stories at my favorite murder at gmail,
whatever they are, send them.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, and practice your headboots while you're home. Men, quarantine
and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Go bye, Elvis.
Do you want a cookie
Love, Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder the Miniso.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
The Miniso the first one of twenty twenty one and
everyone welcome.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Wow, wound effect. That's my whoop old fashioned car. Thank you, coconuts.
You want to after? That's just my hands?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Oh yeah, yeah, good idea. Yeah, let's tat to do.
This is where we reading your stuff in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
You sent it to us, we read it to you.
That's right, it's so exciting. All right, I'm not I'm
not going to read this subject line. It gives it away,
but one of the greatest intros ever. Okay, Hi guys,
gals and non binary pal yes, love it right inclusive.
I'm currently rocking my newborn to sleep listening to your
podcast and was reminded about a chilling story from my
childhood that I had to share. So, when I was
(01:11):
a wee young in my mom thought it would be
a great idea to have my twin brother and I
take photos at the school she worked at. Apparently this
was a yearly thing where a photographer let's call him Richard,
would come take slightly incestuous photos of siblings who went
to school together. What how my brother and I were
the lucky ones to pose holding hands hugging a tree.
(01:33):
Super great. They're just saying that basically, it's like stuff
that siblings would normally never be doing. Okay, because that remember,
it's like you'd have to take a picture. It's like
you and your sister cheek to cheek, where it's I
have what we.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Have one where we're leaning our heads on my brother
who's in between us, and I'm making a face of
like just I don't want to be here, faith, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Just get get me for one of these two people
punches me. Yeah, Okay. Well, well, I was looking at
the photo the other day and my mom said, nonchalantly,
I love those pictures. Too bad the guy who took
them was a murderer. Shocked, I asked her to explain.
She said that every year, Richard and his wife will
(02:14):
call her, Pam would come to school and take pictures.
Pam was always in good spirits and assisted Richard in
lighting poses, etc. Well, one night, Pam was found bludgeoned
to death in the snow in front of her house.
Richard had been physically and emotionally abusing her for years,
killed her with a baseball bat, and he was later
found in their garage, having killed himself. Apparently Pam had
(02:39):
been working at a well, we'll just say she had
been working part time and told her coworkers that if
anything had happened to her, Richard was to blame. Richard
and Pam are survived by two daughters, one of which
is adamant that her father didn't do it. Thank you
for keeping me awake during my son's four am feedings,
especially since his dad is deployed and my dog doesn't
(03:00):
help much with the baby. Stay sexy and don't trust
baby photographers all the best, Bay. Wow, what a horrible story,
all cor round, all around horror, fine, just awful. And
I wonder if this story is especially sensitive to a
new young mother, oh, a baby photographer, where it's just like,
(03:21):
I bet that's the kind of stuff that all comes
back up as your well, I mean, her mom said
it right, but also just as now you're in that
position of like where you're bringing your kids and what
you decide to do and.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Who you expose them to and not having any idea
yeahther thing a new parent is just constant red flags
everywhere you look.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
It must be it must be all right, this one.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
This is called Christmas Eve near murder miracle.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Oh okay, it just starts.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Hey, hey, hey, My husband and I were flying home
on Christmas Eve when we got a text from a
neighbor that read, OMG, someone just got shot in your driveway.
With that, the flight attendant shut the main cabin door
and we were forced to turn off the phone and
sit in suspense for the next two and a half hours.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
By the time I got home, there was nothing left
but a medium sized bloodstain in our driveway. However, we
were able to piece together what happened thanks to our neighbors,
the police, and our security cams, which caught a lot
of the action. Apparently, a group of four guys and
a nearby apartment complex had tried to buy pot, which
is not legal here, using counterfeit money. Oh don't do that, guys.
(04:39):
I honestly didn't even know counterfeit money was still a thing.
The dealer is a thing. It's like a piece of
paper that you draw on. Counterfeit money. Now more than ever,
the dealers took offence and shot the guys as they
drove away. Four bullets went into the side of the car,
one hitting the driver in the leg. One last shot
(05:01):
went through the back window, missed all four guys and
lodged in the back of the driver's head rest. Oh
exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, but he didn't get you.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, yeah, So the guy speed off in tear.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
They turned down our street and at about when they
hit our driveway, they realized the street is dead end,
so they pull in and ditch the car, running into
our backyard. We're assuming the plan was to run through
to another street, but unluckily for them, our yard backs
up to a reservoir. This is when the adrenaline starts
wearing off and the driver realizes that he's spurting blood
(05:34):
from his leg. They get back to the front yard
and call nine to one one. That's when my neighbor's son,
a former police officer and current owner of a tattoo
parlor aka a very big guy, comes over and shouts
at them to quote get on the ground now. He
ends up having to use his own belt to turn
it get the guy's leg and probably saved his life.
(05:56):
By then the cops are pulling up. The guy who
was shot went to the hospital and the other three
guys had to wait for one of their Grandma's to
pick them up since the cops towed the car for evidence.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Probably not a very merry Christmas for any of them,
but hey, it could have been.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
A lot worse.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Stay sexy, Stay sexy, and just legalized pot already, Sarah.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Don't ever use uh, don't do drugs. Drugs are you know,
drugs are drugs.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Don't use counterfeit money for anything, especially illegal thing.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
Not with a drug dealer, now, you fool. I bet
you they're not fucking around you know where you use
counterfeit money. Just this is off the off the top
of my head, like a red box machine, you know
what I mean. Somewhere I guess, I don't know. They
take cash victims, you know, like, yeah, of ski ball
somewhere where you're just you're hurting yourself. That would hurt
(06:54):
the business too. But yeah, yeah, don't use counterfeit money,
but not with a drug. They always have guns. They
have to, they have to. Wow. Yeah, so that's that. Okay, Hi, friends,
I can't believe that after all these faithful, murdering no years,
I never thought to send this to you, But after
(07:14):
the documentary about the killer in question came up in
a recent episode, my memory was jogged, and I thought
you might enjoy this story. A few years ago, one
of the owners of my company was going through a
full on midlife crisis, Having recently separated from his high
school sweetheart wife. He found himself heartbroken and rich, with
lots of wild oats to sew. So he did what
most attractive, recently single wealthy men in their late forties do,
(07:39):
and he bought a sports car and got a killer
bachelor pad and hosted hefner level parties every night with
twenty something year old swippers. Yeah So, After and during
weeks of late night drunken hot tub shenanigans, his downstairs
neighbor was more than fed up. One morning, he awoke
from his stupor to find a note taped to his
(08:00):
front door that said, if I have to clean cigarette
but up off my balcony one more night thanks to
your parties, you and I are going to have serious problems,
Signed your downstairs neighbor. Unfazed, he went about his day,
but happened to mention this note to and its contents
to his doorman as he was leaving for work. The
doorman's eyes immediately widened in a very concerned tone, and
(08:22):
he said, sir, do you know who your downstairs neighbor is,
to which the owner replied no, why, and the doorman paused,
looked around, moved in closer, and said, sir, your neighbor
is Robert Durst. I know it. I was gonnall it.
Oh my god, that's right, Robert fucking Durst. Suffice it
(08:44):
to say, a love note from a serial killer who
was not only who not only murdered his neighbor but
dismembered him too was all that she needed, right, Oh, yes,
his neighbor.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Oh my god, I totally didn't even think about that.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
That was all dB needed to put an immediate end
to his part pardy boy ways, for which his liver
and brain cells were eternally grateful. He even ended up
reconciling with his wife, so I guess to some degree,
Robert Durst saved not only his health but also his marriage.
Not really sure what we all can take from this one,
except to say, stay sexy and maybe do some research
(09:20):
to see if you have a neighbor dismembering serial killer
in your building before you accidentally wind up on his
bad side. Love y'all, xoxo name with hell to protect
my career just in case. Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Yeah, that's just real that thing to me, that's like
in California you'd have to disclose that, but like anywhere
else in the country you wouldn't. Like, Hey, your neighbor
has murdered a neighbor before.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Right, I mean, do you have to disclose that? Though
you don't have to disclose shit? I feel you don't.
I feel like if you're like out and about, you
just get to go live in people. It's like if
you have That's the thing about rich murderers is they
can do whatever they want because they have the money
to do whatever they want.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
For people who got off, that's why i'm because they're rich.
You can't guys be really don't flip people off in
the car. That's my thing is like you just don't
know who you're driving next to, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yes, you're gonna have That's a great opportunity if you're
feeling road rage to practice just separating yourself from your
emotional tidle wave and saying let it flow through you
and don't react real time, because especially these days where
people are just getting angrier and angrier and angry, or stressed.
(10:36):
Everyone's stressed and enraged and you just don't want it.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
This one is called Creeping Out the FBI. Greetings, MFM
crew and furry companions. I'm a crime analyst for an
urban police department. Several years ago, my partner and I,
along with other analysts in our area, got to take
some specialized training at the FBI Academy in quantico Behavioral
analysis is part of our certification training, but we mostly
(11:02):
see serial property crime and not serial killers, so being
in the FBIBAU is a big deal. After one of
our sessions, they took us down to the basement where
they had some artifacts to show us. The first thing
we saw was a life size animatronic Hannibal Lecter in
a cell who greeted us as we got off the elevator.
We went to a small room where they had letters, drawings,
(11:24):
and papers on display. We were showing a letter that
I recognized as being from Keith Jesperson, so I said, oh,
that's the Happy Face Killer. There were a few clown
paintings that I recognized as being done by John Wayne Gacy.
This happened with a few other items, and our instructor
turned to look at me and said, is there something
we should know about you? I was a bit embarrassed
to be the only analyst who could identify a lot
(11:46):
of the objects. I guess all analysts aren't naturally murderinos,
stay sexy and never let the FBI know how much
you know about serial killers?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Are?
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I mean, shouldn't they all know that they freaked out
the FBI? Congratulations A. I want you to be at
every dinner party I have when this is all over.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But also I love that it sounds like it's like
the Wax Museum in their basements, like an animatronic Hannibal
Elector is corny as fans?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
And did my tax dollars go to pay for that?
It's my second question? What do you? Could you seize
that from someone's else? I might write a fucking gift
from some foundation. Well, okay, this subject line is so good.
It includes hand clap emojis.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Yah, it's grandparents, a woman named Bonnie names this story
has it all hand clap emojus. Yeah, okay, I've submitted
this story before, but after hearing your episode from stories
from twenty sixteen, I figured I'd try it again. Here's
to hoping it works. It worked. Yes, please, if you haven't,
(12:55):
try again. We've told you this before. Yeah, onto the story.
My great grandma was raised in southern Utah during the
early nineteen hundreds. So it's long ago hot. It's very hot. Okay,
it's hot, hot, and salty. Her name was Bonnie. Hey, okay,
you saw people have sent us so many bonnies that
(13:16):
are bunnies, But we also got a couple bonnies that
are babies. And the two that I saw were two
of the cutest babies I've seen in a while. Oh
my god. Yeah, you got to pull that name off
the really. Oh yeah, they nailed it. They're just like
there are some Bonnie baby bonnies out there, and there
(13:36):
they are. Okay. Her name was Bonnie, but everyone called
her good Witch. She owned her own cafe, baked the
best pies, cinnamon rolls, and homemade candies. She led her
local women's relief society, swore like a sailor, made and
sold bootleg moonshine during Prohibition, and raised ten kids, the
two youngest of which she won in a peanuckle game.
(13:58):
What im sorry? Oh what hug? Anything more about that? No? No,
that's the end of the paragraph. Holy shit, what the
fuck you're gonna have to write back in about that.
That's horrifying. But although it's essentially like the wild West,
totally we're talking about totally okay. Growing up, she was
(14:19):
one of twelve children who lived in a small, two
room house in the middle of nowhere what is now
Zion National Park. In the spring of nineteen hundred, an
outlaw gang called the Wild Bunch we're on the run
from the Law, and were making their way from Arizona
to Wyoming by way of Utah. That April, my grandma's
parents were making their monthly multi day trip into town
(14:42):
for supplies and left my ten year old grandmother in
charge of her younger siblings. Knowing that the Wild Bunch
was potentially in the area, her parents instructed her to
lock the door and keep the lamps out so as
not to draw attention to the house, and under no
circumstances to let any one in. My God, that evening,
(15:02):
my grandma was awoken by the sound of men's voices.
She looked out the window and saw a group of
men roaming around her home. She grabbed her four siblings,
her youngest sister being just about a year old, and
hid under the bed. One of the men knocked on
the door, and when they didn't receive an answer, proceeded
to break in. The group of men entered the house,
(15:22):
and once they thought no one was there, made themselves
at home, eating their food and making a fire. One
even slipped his boots off and laid down on the
bed in which the kids were hiding under which the
kids were hiding. As my grandma listened to the men chat,
they called one of them by his name, and she
realized the man laying on the bed above her was
Butch Cassidy, the leader of the wild bunch. She was
(15:46):
obviously scared for her life, and she knew if they
were discovered, they could be taken hostage or killed. Luckily,
she and her siblings kept quiet and the baby stayed asleep.
They hid in total silence for hours before the baby
finally woke up and made a little whimper. Hearing this,
the men suddenly stopped talking and drew their guns. Butch
(16:07):
got off the bed, lifted the blanket and looked under
the bed. He and my grandma locked eyes. He winked
and smiled at her. He then announced to the others
that there was no one there and instructed all the
men to remove their guns and place them on the
table in the middle of the room. I've since read
about Butch Cassidy, who, contrary to popular belief, was famously
(16:28):
nonviolent and prided himself for never having killed anyone, So
this move makes total sense.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
My grandma said that she knew that She knew then
that the men weren't going to hurt her, and she
actually felt safe. She and her siblings eventually fell asleep
sometime during the early morning hours, the gang left. When
she woke up in the morning, the men were gone,
the door was fixed, the woodpile re stocked, and a
pile of cash sat in the middle of the table. Right.
(16:58):
I always knew she was about us. I'm hearing this
story only confirmed it. She passed away in the nineteen
nineties and left behind an amazing lifetime of stories that
are captured in her daily journal entries. My prized possession.
Stay well and thanks for all you do. Nick. That
is a fucking legendairy home town stories. Historic. That's so good. Mean,
(17:23):
Oh my god, Butch Cassidy was meg to.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Love you, guys, Monny, because you have little kids are
at her feet why did they leave a ten.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Year old in charge of three children by themselves?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Next time we complained about the eighties, remember they were they.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Weren't ship compared to the nineteen hundreds. The early aughts
were fucking right. Oh holy shit, Nick, that was this story?
Did have it all? Nick nailed it?
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Okay, Well, I have a father story to agree with
the family. My Scottish father taught me how.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
To headbutt people.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, Heidi ho MFM gang perfect. I just finished listening
to your minisode with the key in cheek story where
the reader mentioned that her mother taught her self defense skills.
I thought you might like to hear about how my
Scottish father, which somehow makes it so much fucking better, even,
taught me female and my two older brothers how to
(18:23):
head butt people as children.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Yeah, for self the Glasgow, the Glasgow.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Hello, and then it says for self defense question mark
Not really. I distinctly remember my dad describing to me
the quote right way to head butt people. I was
maybe eight or nine years old at the time. It says,
quote people think that you head butt the other person's head,
(18:47):
but you'll hurt yourself with skull to skull contact. The
thing for you to do is use your forehead and
get them in the jaw to dislocate it, or get
them in the bridge of the nose and break That
He told me is great advice, and I'm glad we
all know it now.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
I mean, yeah, it's something. It's something when you're in
a pinch.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yeah, don't ever forget the head the yie old head butt. Okay, yeah,
I have get to use this knowledge in the real world, bummer.
But my dad and my oldest brother have used it
a number of times. So my mom always tells a
story about going to the bar for drinks with my
dad when they first started dating. She had turned her
barstool to have her back towards the wood, and some
random guy came up to her, grabbed her chest and
(19:28):
gave it a squeeze. My dad grabbed the guy by
the collar and immediately headbutted the guy, knocking him out cold.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Yep, that's right.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It's kind of a perfect move because it's like what
you're basically doing is like controlling this controlling the situation,
the joe entirely right where other people are going to
get hurt.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
And also when you grab someone by the collar, like
both of your hands are occupied, so they don't know
anything's coming. They're almost relaxed in that way. I've seen
headbutting became popular in my high school. The senior boys. Yes,
the senior boys would headbutt like the younger kids. It
was like a It was very high level bullying, and
(20:08):
I watched many of the boys in my class burst
into tears because it was so but they actually did
it forehead to forehead, and it was loud, and it's
very fucking disturbing. But I'll tell you what. I've also
seen it at at a bar we both used to
go to that the owner did when somebody somebody was
getting riled up in the front and demanding that they
(20:30):
get to come in, and he walked him outside and
then just head butted them on the sidewalk.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
I'm guessing it wasn't the fucking Soho house or like
it was a diary dive.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
How we love to hang out at the fucking so House?
Oh so great there?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
How mean you have multiple headbutting stories and I don't have.
I mean, I'm glad I don't have one.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
It's just pretty much it's my people, It's how my
people do. It's pretty oppressive, I have to say, all right.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
So also, my mom tells the story of watching my
oldest brother's soccer game at a soccer tournament in Pentacon,
British Columbia. I'm sure I got that wrong. He was
about fourteen years old at the time. My brother got
in a fight on the field and the other players
spin on him, prompting my brother to head butt the kid.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
My brother got a red card and was asked to
leave the game. My father, sitting in the bleachers, berated
the referee, arguing it was a bad call. The ref
responded by ejecting my dad from there arena. My granddad,
who was also there, argued with the ref about throwing
my dad out and became the third person told to
leave the arena.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Then Robert Wallace cape and screamed freedom.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
When those sits on his face ghost of their great
great grandfather showed up. It says like father, like son,
like grandson. I guess anyways, Well, I haven't had someone
to mess with me enough to warn a head butt.
I guess it's nice to have the knowledge of how
to head butt under my belt, stay sexy, and if
you're going to head butt someone, aim for the nose, Abigail, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Hell yeah, it's a bridge of the nose.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I didn't know that if I were to have ever
had better than anyone, which I honestly like have always
like in my anxiety, I've always expected I'm going to
have to do someday.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
It's just something you've anticipated. Headbutt.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I've pictured it. Oh oh yeah during my ensomber insomnia. Fytes,
it's been there. You know the plan plan, but I
didn't know. That's that's great to know.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Yeah, these details are important to know actually how to
do it. I tell you though, if I was in
a bar and some fucking asshole came up and groped me,
the man who headbutted that asshole would be my betrothed.
I mean, like, what better surprise she married him. I
mean that's the the dad should have been like, thank
you so much, sir, because you basically, like you, what's better?
(22:51):
Takes care of shit, You don't get to touch people,
and I'm gonna sure teach you that lessons, but slamming
my forehead and your way possible. Yes, And it's going
to be a total It's going to be a koh.
I love the middle of the bar. I love that.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I do love too that, Like, if a guy comes
out at you, he's expecting you to try to kick
him in the balls, right, So like this is another
way to like.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Surprise, surprise, attack, surprise. You maybe lift your leg, you
do kind of a faint, You lift your leg as
if you're it's you're making the effort, and then booth
as you lift your leg and you're looking down, then
you just slam your head.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
Some ab work going on in there too, It's like,
you know, it's some some yoga because you got a
balance on one.
Speaker 3 (23:39):
You're like, Also, don't be afraid to drink like seven
shots of whiskey before you head books, because I feel
like that's the crucial element that we are not discussing yours.
It's nice to be fucked up when you do it right.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
It's almost yeah, that's a fair I guess I've been
watching too much Coba Kai, too much Cobra Kai.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
Over here. Oh, we've done it. We're back. It's twenty
twenty one.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
We're not going to say anything positive or negative about
it because we don't want to jinx it.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
Son. Welcome, just let's just keep it up. Welcome. Let's
just do this thing as we do. That's right.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Send us your stories at my favorite murder at gmail,
whatever they are, send them.
Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah, and practice your headboots while you're home. Men, quarantine
and stay sexy and don't get murdered. Go bye, Elvis.
Do you want a cookie
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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