Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hell, Hello, and welcome to My Favorite Murder the minisode.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's mini, that's it. You want to go first this week?
Or you oh, go ahead this Well.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I was just going to say, this is the uh,
this is the show where we read you your hometown's
back to you that you've written to us at My
Favorite Murder at gmail dot com. Amen, and yes, I'll
go first. Okay, I'm not going to read you. The
title getting right and it says Hi, Karen Georgia, getting
right to it. My mom was born and raised in
(00:48):
the suburbs of Chicago and was one of six kids
in an Irish Catholic family. Hey, Karen, my mom told
me the story about my grandma and it's too good
not to share. Back when my mom was a kid,
she said, my grandma would take her all of my
aunts and uncles to a local movie theater fairly often
in the summer to pass the time. I love that
so much. Just hang out because.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
There's ac wherein it's start. What are we gonna do
to there?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
At some point, my grandma started to notice that an
older man around her age would regularly frequent this movie
theater too, and sit in the back row of children's
movies by himself. He never had a child with them,
nor did he appear to be with anyone. My grandma
noticed he wasn't really paying attention to the film, but
rather the little children in the theater.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Totally creeped out.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
My grandma tried to complain, but the staff said he
was so nice and gave her the hole.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
He comes in here all the time. He's harmless bullshit.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So after seeing this man a few times, my grandma
stopped taking my aunts and uncles to the theater because
she couldn't.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Get past how weird it was. Now.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
I'm not sure how much time passed, but one evening,
my mom said that my grandma was watching the news
when the whole John Wayne Gacy boys in the carlsbas
thing broke. My grandma yelled at the TV, that's that
creepy bastard from.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
The movie theater, Sean Wayne Gacy.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So, yeah, the creepy man in the theater had to
be looking at little boys because it was John Wayne
fucking Gacy. My grandma has amazing intuition. It's kind of
crazy to think that he could have been eyeing my
uncles at the time. Who knows what would have happened
if my grandma didn't trust her gut. Also crazy that
(02:25):
my mom's family literally saw him in the flesh.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I loved my grandmother Joan. She was such a badass.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
She was the sweetest woman who could hold her own
if she had to, and taught me never to care
what other people think. She died back in two thousand
and eight, but still remained so close to my heart,
and I'm thankful I have so many memories of her,
including this one. Thank you for the amazing podcast You
Ladies are Badass motherfuckers ssdgm.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Abby w Abby Epic and her grandma Joan Epic for
knowing that this man was troubled no matter how polite
he was.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Well, that's the thing is, first of all, it's not
fair that teens at a movie theater are have to
manage sometimes like sex pasts. And also that's the whole
move obviously, is engraciating yourself to people and pretending that
you're super low key and no big deal.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
What was he going to be a big fucking asshole
to everyone?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Right, Like, Hey, I'm a big old PERV. What's up.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
I'm I'm here by myself as a middle aged man,
and I'm also very finicky. Let's see how long this
relationship works out.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
No one person complains about me. I'm out of here.
Let's try this. Let's roll these dice. I'm not gonna
read you well. Whatever, from mob boss to asshole landlord,
it starts to whom it may concern. I heard you
guys were taking mob stories, now, so here's mine. One summer,
I worked in a court aid service in Massachusetts. We
(03:52):
mostly helped fill out paperwork and explained how the court
system worked for litigants. One day, a gruff man with
a walker came into the center and said his landlord
was trying to evict him and he needed help with
the paperwork to file an answer. The packet to file
an answer is long and tedious, so he complained to
me about his landlord while I filled everything out. Everyone
(04:13):
who came through the center complained understandably about a landlord,
ex spouse, the government, attorneys, me, etc. So I didn't
think much of this man's particular complaints. Mostly people just
need a sort of therapist to listen to them. So
I say something like, your landlord sounds like an asshole,
to which he replied, sweetheart, you have no idea. I
(04:34):
eventually finished the paperwork and brought it to my supervisor.
He took one look at the landlord's name and asked,
the landlord's name is Howard Winter. I replied, yeah, do
you know him, to which my supervisor said, uh, yeah,
If this is the Howard Winter I'm thinking of, then
this is Howie Winter. He once led the Winter Hill Gang.
(04:55):
This gruff old man's landlord was one of the notorious
leaders of Boston's will Hill Gang, the top Irish mob
on the East Coast in the sixties and seventies. No comment,
uh huh. After Winter went to prison for fixing horse races,
Whitey Bulger took over as the leader of the Winter
Hill Gang. Whoa, so his landlord was above Whitey Bulger.
(05:18):
My supervisor did some googling while I went back to
the man and explained how the rest of the court
proceedings would go. I also told him that he needed
to serve the answer on his landlord, and I asked
if he was able to get the paperwork to his landlord.
He had to serve this guy. Basically, he said, yeah,
he's on house arrest, so he's easy to find. My God,
I had no idea how to reply, so I just go, okay, great,
(05:39):
good luck. Meanwhile, my supervisor found Winter's entry in the
All Knowing Wikipedia Lo and behold the quote. Later in life.
Section said that after Winter got out of prison, he
became a property manager. It also said he was arrested
and released on bail for extortion charges in twenty twelve.
I don't know what happened to the old man, but
(06:00):
I like to think he served his answer to Howie
Winter as a big f you and got to keep
his home, stay sexy and background check your landlords, Nora.
I don't think I would serve whitey bulgers under or overling.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
The fact that the complaintant, if that's a word, is
the person who has to go serve is nuts. So
absolutely that's dangerous that old man. Yeah, that's like we
need to rethink that system.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I think that's like sending someone to the gallows.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
I mean, best case scenario, it's just an asshole landlord.
But in this case, in this very specific instance, it
was a person who's not unfamiliar with gunplay.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
No, and the and the tenant knew that. But I
feel like old man are like, fuck that shit. I
don't care, so good for him, Jesus.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
That's intense.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
That's some intense civil work litigation.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yes, the subject line of this one is my sister
thought she killed me.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Kayall.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I grew up in Arkansas, right outside of Little Rock.
The town was very small and back then there was
hardly any development, which meant our double wide trailer sat
on a piece of land surrounded almost completely by the woods.
There were six of us girls, and we had nothing
to do most of the time, so we created our
own entertainment.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
What a life, of course, you did? Six girls?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
God? Yeah? Oh.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
One summer when I was six, my sisters created a
new and dangerous game where one of us would get
into the knitted hammock in our yard, wrap the sides
around us like a cameo I know, I know this,
and swing around in a complete thirty sixty. It was
like a fair ride in our yard. When my stepsisters
were gone one week, me and my sister were playing
(07:50):
with a neighborhood boy attempting the hammock ride. We were
showing off how fun it was, and my sister used
me as the example of how to do it. This
is where my memory loss starts.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Oh, my.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
I woke in my sister's arms as she was carrying
me across the yard, crying and screaming.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Mom, Mom, I killed Carrie. I killed Carrie fun Right.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
The next thing I remember it was being on the
couch as my mom and sister helicoptered over me to
make sure I was alive. After being examined by my family,
accused of faking it, cries for my Grandma question mark.
In a trip to the hospital, I was finally diagnosed
with a concussion and sent home. Turns out, as my
sister was spinning me around just would never it wouldn't
(08:34):
happen anymore. No, just wouldn't know it shouldn't it shouldn't
have happened. That shouldn't have ever happened to her or me.
Turns out, as my sister was spanning me around the
side of the hammock where my head was snapped and
I landed fully on my head with a thud, knocking
me out cold. The boy we were playing with immediately
hopped on his four wheeler and ditched me.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
And my sister got a deck.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
They wrote in parentheses, asshole, And when my sister checked
on me, she said my lips were blue, and she
was fully convinced I was dead. She had no choice
but to scoop me up while sobbing and carrying me
into the house in a complete panic. Another thing I
remembered was the next morning, I woke up thinking, Hell, yeah,
I don't have to go to school today because I
went to the hospital last night, and my mom completely
(09:18):
shattered that thought by replying, Oh no, honey, it's Sunday,
and the doctor said you can go to school tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Anyway, stay sexy and teach your goddamn kids never to
trust a hammock by E Carrie.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Wow. Well, I think a group of six sisters is
called we wanted a son at some point, but also
like six sisters is equivalent to like fifteen lady friends.
Like sisters makes it double time, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Yes, entirely, the amount of like grabbing things and snapping
and emotionitching and stealing stuff and being mean for no reason.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah, that's time six is And then that's your favorite
surgure and so you defend that one and you hate
that one from that one, and this one does this,
and that one was your best friend and she will
be again tomorrow but oh.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
This is how pride and prejudice got written for these experiences.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Okay, that was great. This is called spontaneous combustion causes
one hundred and eighty deaths. Hey, y'all just listen to
episode two sixty nine. And after hearing about all those
spontaneous combustion deaths, I was inspired to write in In
eighteen ninety seven, at a film festival in Paris, a
projector carrying nitrate film caught fire and caused the deaths
(10:41):
of one hundred and eighty people. Nitrate film was a
popular film stock in the early twentieth century. This film
is extremely flammable and produces its own oxygen supply as
it burns. Because of this, it's very hard to put
out and then can eat and can even burn underwater.
No way, remember the fire that was at the Silent
movie theater that that's why it happened, is all the
(11:05):
old film. It only takes a few decades for the
film to start deteriorating. As it deteriorates, it emits large
quantities of poisonous flammable gas, and under the right conditions
has been known to spontaneously combust. In nineteen thirty seven,
a twentieth century Fox silent movie film archives spontaneously combusted
(11:25):
due to poor ventilation, extreme heat, and a build up
of poisonous gases from the nitrate film. It took one
hundred and fifty firefighters to put out the fire. Only
one person died and a few were injured, but it
was deviating in terms of silent film history. More than
forty thousand reels of negatives and film prints were destroyed.
(11:46):
Fifty seven truckloads of film were hauled from the site.
This fire destroyed seventy five percent of Fox's silent movies
from before nineteen thirty two, which I'm so glad they
wrote this in because I've heard this before, and there's
a reason so few who silent movies exist. It's because
of this kind of film, and they so they all
fucking exploded and shit. This email is a PSA. Anyone
(12:08):
who finds film from the before the nineteen fifties, there's
a good chance it's nitrate film, even if it doesn't
say so, as not all of them were labeled. This
film is extremely dangerous and should be dealt with properly.
Always handle it with gloves and store in a cold place.
Thank you. So much for making this podcast. I've been
back work. I'm not working in person at my job
since last June. I work in a government archive, and
(12:30):
apparently I can't take the documents home because they are
quote confidential and important, so I have to come to work.
Your podcast has kept me sane and laughing throughout this
crazy time. Stay sexy and keep away from combustible materials.
Natasha she her love that PSA.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I mean, it's the kind of thing where like, then
now everybody go check your attic and or basement and
or garage because if there's like, oh, these.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Were my grandma's yeah, home movies. Is that what she's saying.
I think I don't know. But also like I go
to estate sales and it's like, oh, look at this
old timey thing that'll look great on my shell or whatever,
and it's like, no, don't buy that.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
The subject line is can I out embarrass vibrator girl?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Oh shit?
Speaker 1 (13:16):
And then the first line is can I out embarrass
vibrator girl? Possibly As the oldest child in my family,
me going off to college in two thousand and one
was a very emotional affair. My parents bought me a
webcam so we could have video visits, and I heard
my dad cry for the first time after he said
good night to me for.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
The last time in the house. I grew up in
for you, for all you middle partners.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Webcams in the early aughts came with their very own
quote unquote website. You'd turn on your webcam, a weird
little ball you'd mount on top of your crtam monitor,
and it would be live at its specific site, which
had like one hundred and fifty unique characters so people
couldn't stumble across it. We had a handful of video
visits in the very first weeks in my very first
(14:00):
weeks of college, especially because it was September of two
thousand and one. But as my absence normalized and my
younger siblings extracurricular high school schedules picked up, our visits
became difficult to schedule and extremely rare. So late one
January night, I was chatting with my web with my
webcam on with an on again, off again boyfriend while
(14:22):
sipping some apple pucker.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Oh geez, I know where this is going.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Things got flirty and consensual and consensually with the sexual
confidence only born by a tipsy college freshman I took
off my shirt and was chatting.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
In my bracky.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
He really wanted me to take off my bra, but
our sexy chat was interrupted by the phone ringing. Before
I answered, I knew it was my dad, and then
this is an all caps.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Put some goddamn clothes on for some reason.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Late that night, he and my mom had missed me
and went to my webcams, thinking that they'd get to
see my face by chance for a minute before they
went to bed. They saw much more. My ultra Christian
mom was crying and my dad was absolutely furious. I
tried to explain that I was just chilling out my
door room, but they didn't buy it.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I love that idea.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Now this is me in college. I'd just like to
sit around in my bra.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Bra.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
I don't know one woman ever who's done that or
does that.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Sits in her bra. Yeah. No, you take those off
the moment you walk through a door. It's all or nothing. Yeah. Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
They also didn't know I drank alcohol, so that little
Sharad came crashing to a hall and it was the
most awkward phone call of my entire life. I am
now thirty seven years old, and the story comes up
every once in a while, and I still haven't admitted
to my parents that I was chatting with a guy,
even though all caps they know, and all caps I
(15:55):
know they know, and all caps they know that I
know that they know.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
So I feel like it's too late. Now.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
My husband says I'm nuts, but that's my Midwestern family dynamic.
I guess I know, my husband, this is a married woman,
stay sexy and just be honest with your family. It's
not worth twenty years of lies, Elle.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
That is. I mean, yeah, God damn sucks. I feel
like the drinking part would be worse than the shirt
part because at least or the brop part, because at
least she wasn't completely top topless, like by the grace
of her mom's God, she fucking had those nips covered.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
But but miraculously because of her mom's God. That no
one's looking for silver linings. They're only they're only seeing
like the devil is.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
In our always trying to bargain with bad, bad things,
you know. Think about it this way. She had great
tits and now her mom was proud of her great
dis What if she was making money? All right? I
have one Maura and it's an embarrassing one too perfect.
This is TSA trauma lighthearted question mark, which I think
(17:10):
are always the best lighthearted ones. Is you judge Ladies?
A few minisodes ago, you told a story about Georgia's
TSA trauma, and I have my own story. I thought
i'd share. Why did I tell?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Totally forgot about that? Please don't, but I won't, but
we already did. You can go listen to it. But
this person is clearly so far behind that they're just like,
oh no, it's.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
A lot that we're so far behind on reading emails.
It was she sent it like six weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
True, Well, yeah, there's people who have a four year complaint.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
That's right. I've traveled for work my entire adult life,
and so not only do I have pre screen, I
have a system for all my required liquids. Remember when
I used to travel, I do pre screen. Before I fly,
I refill all my travel sized bottles, put them in
a one liter seat through bag, and tuck them into
my carry on before packing. Because I have the prescreen status,
(18:08):
I don't usually have to take liquids out on my
carry on. Right after one particularly hellish work trip, I
had a personal trip plan with my husband a sexy
trip to make up for all my time away from home.
It was a quick turnaround, so when I got home,
I refilled my liquids, tossed them at the bottom of
my bag, and packed my sun dresses and bathing suits
on top. At the last minute, I tossed in a
(18:29):
bottle of lube into my carry on and then she said,
as Karen says, traveling is dehydrating. Then I rushed back
out to the airport. I didn't think much about the
security screening process until a large, loud TSA employee said
to be ma'am, please come open your suitcase again. I
didn't think much of it because I go through screening
(18:50):
all the time without issues. I'm a professional. Remember, only
this time I have a bottle of lube that he
wants to discuss with me loudly. And this time I'm
traveling with not only my husband, but eighteen of our
closest friends and family members. No to a destination wedding.
No and eighteen is definitely in all caps. Needless to say,
(19:13):
the trip felt deeply on sexy. Pretty quickly. My TSA
guy had no chill and gave me a loud lecture
on the importance of understanding that quote. Lube is a
gel and gels are liquid, and we wouldn't be having
the discussion if I followed the rules. I think I
nearly died of embarrassment. No TSA guy has chill because
this is what they live for. Yeah, you know, well,
(19:36):
the moral of the story is that lube is a
liquid and it cannot just be tossed into a carry
on or as the TSA employeed loudly shouted, lube is
a liquid, ma'am ssdgm V that.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I think that that TSA employee was passive aggressive at
the very least. He was a troll of the worst
and just but like, what why would you first of all,
just don't read your voice in public? But why not?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Why can't everybody be like that?
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, if you want to talk about anything, any liquid,
you still have to whisper and have somebody come over separate.
You know, why would you be yelling anything across the area?
You know?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
What might be his trigger is dehydrated women. That could
be like, really, what gets it gets him going?
Speaker 1 (20:19):
He gets he gets really agitated, and this is all
kind of it. He's trying to protect and defend. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm drink some water.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Please, man, please. That amazing. That's it. Got job, guys,
send in your stories whatever they may be. Uh, have
fun with it, you know.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
And if you're in the fan cult, you can come
and listen to the two bonus hometowns that we're going
to do for you guys.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
That's right, we're about to do and check it out.
That might be called murder dot Com, the Many's Mini minisod.
It's called the Mini minis Yay, thanks for listening, Stay
sex and don't get murdered. Good guy, Elvis, do you
want to cookie? Rh