July 25, 2022 • 18 mins
This week’s hometowns include a music librarian and finding skeletons in the woods.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Love, Hello, and welcome to my favorite Murder the minisode single,
the single sode. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
If you want an extra one of these the mini minisodes,
that's in the fan call for you. If you want
to watch a video of this episode of the minisode,
it's also in the fan.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Call for you. And if you're kind of like I'm
not sure if I want to see a podcast, we understand,
We understand, we do of all people. But Georgia went
and got some very expensive wallpaper for your eyes only,
so I think you need to respect that and get
in here.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Should I go first? The time?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Do it?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Alrighty?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
This is called college radio librarian Story. Hi, Karen, Georgia
and the Battalion of Animals.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
There's like Blossom Italian.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
My name is Justin and I'm a brand new librarian
graduated with my master's in Library and Information science during quarantine,
and I thought I would share a fun story. First
of all, I wanted to spell the idea that all
librarians work in public school libraries. Some from my cohort
work in archives, helping historians find resources for books. Some
work in the medical field, helping organize information for doctors,
(01:24):
which sounds very fucking boring. Some work for lawyers and
law firms, some work in genealogy, some work for art
galleries and museums, and then there's me. I came into
the field after working at a record store in Arizona,
and I wanted to work in music librarianship. I stood
out in my grad program as the only one with
acid green hair painted nails and tattoos. But hey, I
(01:47):
like being like this and the world just better deal.
My first position on campus was with the college radio station,
where I helped shelb and organize the vinyl record collection.
Sounds fricking awesome. It was a massive two story collect
full of everything. It was super cool, But my favorite
part were finding notes left behind in the record sleeves,
love notes, grocery lists, playlist ideas, little small things that
(02:09):
remind us of fleeting moments in others' lives.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
But then there was the bat on.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
One shift I had during my first semester, I was
doing my cute little librarian thing and I pulled some
old records off the shelf and all caps bat just
hanging upside down, sleeping behind a stack of records that
probably hadn't moved in years. I had never had an
intimate encounter with a bat before like do I wake him?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Her question mark?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I must have been there for a minute, because someone
also in the record library came up behind me and asked,
why are you frozen like that? That then startled the
bat awake and started flying around the library. I, a
punk looking gay man, squealed as loud as I could
and ran in circles trying to avoid it. The person
who was behind me did the logical thing and left
the room and called animal control me. The maniac ran
(03:00):
and ran in a circle all caps, doing nothing productive
to help get the bat out. I did this for
what seemed to be an hour until someone was able
to get in and grab the bat.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Run around the rooms, believing the room just panicking, Oh Dustinin,
I love it.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
We named them Lad and let him go. That night,
pall La got in the record library. Nobody knows. Tales
of Blad still echo in the college town. I'd like
to think Lad was a student who was a vampire
and just needed a nap in between classes, but was
instead shrieked at by me for an hour. My hard
work in my niche library interests paid off. I eventually
(03:36):
worked at Sirius and now I work at sub Pop
Records in.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Seattle, which is cool rad record.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Label as a librarian and digital operations. Thank you for
the years you've put into this project. My partner introduced
me to MFM during the pandemic, and I was probably
listening to an episode while I met Vlad. Also, your
open discussions about mental health gave me awareness on my
own mental health issues and I am now taking meds
and going to therapy.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Dustin, Wow, Dustin, I mean that was a real profile
on Dustin at the end of the day.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, it was a.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Bat story, but it was really a Dustin story.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
We asked librarian stories and we got a Dustin librarian
story and a bat one.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
We got a Dustin style. I mean, I do love
a little bat just hanging there, but I don't that's
such an odd, very specific, culturally specific animal that I
don't know how i'd react. I think most people were like,
it's cute or something, but it's like, you don't know.
You don't know until you're face to face with a
little upside down hanging Dracula.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Sleeping one that you're like, oh God, what, I don't
know what's going to happen when I press the awake
button like blossom nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Oh she really won't you will? Are you? Okay?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Okay, you got an ip?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, this is crazy. It says you won't want to
read the subject line and then colon I hooked up
with a murderer. Good morning, MFM fam. I'm an awkward
elder millennial who's not good at small talk, so I'll
jump right in. It was spring break of my senior
year of undergrad. My roommate and I decided to go
(05:12):
to the trashiest beach in South Carolina. The only people
we could round up to go with us were my
roommate's brother and a couple of his friends. We got
a super cheap hotel room and lived off a bud
light and junk food for a long weekend. During this weekend,
there was a guy there we will call him Todd.
He was one of my roommate's brother's friends. He rolled
into the weekend with a wad of cash, mostly big bills.
(05:35):
He was shelling out the cash like there was no tomorrow,
buying all my drinks at the club. So, because I
am a maker of poor decisions in college, we hooked up.
It was a fun spring break fling, and we never
spoke again after that weekend. Fast forward to the week
after we returned, word gets around that a well known
man in my roommate's town has been stabbed to death
the day that we left for spring break. This man
(05:58):
was a landlord in town, and that day he had
gone around to collect rent from his tenants, one of
those tenants being none other than spring Break Todd. It
turns out he had gone to Todd's house that day
to collect the rent, and Todd didn't have his rent money.
There was an altercation, and Todd stabbed the landlord forty
five times. Holy shit, I mean horrifying. That's like candy level.
(06:22):
On top of that, he took the cash the landlord
collected that day, packed up his things, and came on
our spring break trip like nothing ever happened. So that's
the story of how I unintentionally hooked up with a murderer.
Don't worry, I'm totally fine. I'm actually a licensed therapist
now working specifically with survivors of trauma. I recommend your
(06:42):
podcast as a form of self care to anyone who's
asking for tips. Thanks for all you do to bring
awareness to the importance of mental health care, stay sexy,
and don't let someone buy you with murder money.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Elle, Oh my god, that's like we get I dated
a murderer, like and later they murdered someone, not like
the day before, and that is terrifying. It's terrifying. It's
like a person imagine the energy. And I'm not criticizing
Elle in any way because Elle's on a spring break weekend,
(07:15):
like I'm going to have fun no matter what someone's like,
I'm gonna buy all your drinks and we're gonna hook up.
But like that kind of it's the end of the
world's energy. Oh right, or just done that. You're such
a narcissist that you're just like that. The fact that
he could act like have a normal weekend is so chilling. Yes,
(07:35):
crazy and be charming enough to hook up with someone
still even though you just murdered someone is like unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, who you just fucking never know?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Man, Okay, this is a cat who saves lives. Let's
take a left fucking turn. Greetings and salutations. I know
how much you both love survival stories and cats, so
I thought i'd share a cute diddy When I was
in fourth grade, my best friend and I kidnapped some
kittens from a feral mama cat in the woods, which
(08:06):
makes me really sad, but there were children both our
families agreed to let us keep the kittens. We named
our girl Sushi, and my friend named her boy tinker Bell. Sadly,
tinker Bell was bitten by a water moccasin and passed
away around age four. We live in North Florida. Sushi, however,
is still kicking and peeing on everything she sees out
of spite. I am thirty years old, so Sushi is
(08:28):
pushing twenty. Now let's take it back to when Sushi
was about three years old. I was in middle school
and I had a four year old baby brother, Chris.
Our family had as swimming pool in the backyard, and
our parents let us wander in and out of the
house as we pleased as long as the back door,
which was basically a giant window on hinges stage shut.
We aren't air conditioning. The whole got damn neighborhood after all.
(08:51):
One quiet, lazy summer day, my mom was doing chores
around the house and she noticed Sushi meowing and acting strange.
So my mom stopped. What she was doing to stare
at the bonker's cat. It was then that Sushi began
doing backflips while positioned by the back door. My mom
approached Sushi and wondered if perhaps she had had too
much catnip. After a couple moments of standing and staring,
(09:13):
my mom took a look out of the glass door
to see my little brother drowning in the pool. Oh shit,
Chris was saved, all thanks to Sushi while she peas
on everything, including my stepdad's bed and pillows. Sushi is
our lord and savior. It will always be grateful, your
most loyal Murderino sister duo, Tory and Morgan.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Tori and Morgan, you have a miracle cat. It's wild
cats are the best. That's so intense. That cat knew
that child was in danger.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah, or it had had too much catnip. And it's
a fucking coincidence, but who knows.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
But it's a magical Jesus coincidence.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Gee.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
The way I'm down the subject line of this email
is how many bodies are just out in the woods. Oh,
that's a question, Karen and Georgia. So I have quite
a few different hometown murders I guess I'm just lucky
like that. I only started on your podcast nine months ago,
so I haven't caught up yet. So I'm going to
stick with a story that I know you haven't done yet.
(10:10):
How would you know, you're barely I am a mycologist,
which is somebody who works with fung guy.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Ooh right, that's like, Brad, I'm obsessed with that.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Okay, go on, I didn't know that was the thing.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I do a lot of wild foraging for mushrooms, and
that means that I walk through the woods in all
of the out of the way and unfrequented places. So far,
I have found two different human skeletons. Wait what Yeah,
how many bodies are actually in the woods and just
too far off the beaten path for people to find them?
(10:48):
Two question marks. Both of those people died before I
was even born, which means that I was not a suspect,
but before everything was dated. I was taken in for
questioning by two separate police departments in two separate states.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I never did find out what ultimately happened in either case,
but from the initial questioning, they were both definitely foul play.
They were both completely skeletonized by the time I found them,
and I thought the first one was some sort of
cow or large animal because the femur was gigantic. However,
I have taken human anatomy, and after poking it with
(11:23):
a stick, which I totally should not have done, I
quickly realized that it was just a very large person.
The second time, I knew from the start that it
was human. Fun fact, I have found both skeletons within
about six months of each other, and no, it has
not stopped me from hiking alone in the woods. Stay
sexy and don't get murdered.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
WHOA wow, that's.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
A big wow rad job and crazy stories.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You by yourself? Yeah, deep in the forest.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, probably don't have cell service or anything, so you
have to like hike back out to call.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
What do you do? Take pictures? Likes to put ty
ribbons where you are and like.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Him, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Good Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. My last one's a
patented glitch story and it starts high friends presumptive.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I know I was.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I was on my third day of work at a
new pharmacy in town I had just moved to when
a customer came in who looked familiar. I asked his name,
which also seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place him,
so I just gave him his drugs and carried on.
The Next day, I saw the name again and it clicked.
He was all caps my fiance's biological father. He looks
(12:41):
familiar because I share my life with someone who looks
just like him. My fiance was adopted at birth, and
while we'd seen a photo of his father in his
twenties and knew his name, his father always kept my
fiance's existence a secret, so there's been no interaction between
my partner and him. While it's a bummer that he
doesn't want to know credible biological son, at least I
(13:02):
now know some of my partner's familial medical history and
can take comfort in knowing that my partner is going
to be pretty hot as an older guy.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
But wait, there's more.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Around this same time, my partner took a twenty three
and meter DNA test. He messaged both his biological mother
and father on Facebook to warn them that he'd taken
the test in case they didn't want any family members
finding out about him. While his father never responded, his
biological mother immediately replied, I've been waiting for this day
for your entire life, and I can't believe you message now.
(13:36):
While she lives in England, she was literally five miles
away from us for the next three days helping take
care of her mother's estate, who had just passed away.
My fancy got to meet her over those three days,
something he never thought he'd be able to do, and
was reminded how lucky he was to have been raised
by his parents because she's full blown QAnon. He now
(13:59):
enjoys a blissfully long distance relationship with her, and the
experiences he's had with his biological parents have helped strengthen
his relationship with his actual parents, the one who've been
there for him every day of his life. I'll always
be grateful for y'all as your podcast was the first
point of reconnecting with a high school friend who has
now become my very closest friend. She just completed medical
(14:21):
school after returning to school in her thirties in the
midst of a pandemic. Like the absolute badass she is. Hi, Mia,
thank you for creating a community. We're supporting other women
is the norm. Mental health is a priority, and no
one is ever weird for talking about murder, Stay sexy,
and remember that the universe isn't always just random trash.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Sarah she her, Sarah, I really like that synopsis of
this podcast. That is the that is the dream, that
is the goal. You're telling us that we're delivering our
dreams and goals on time and with good marks. I'm
very excited to hear that. That is really goo crazy too.
(15:01):
And I love the idea that it's like, yes, you should,
if you want to, you should completely seek out your
biological parents. But the idea that it's like and now
I love my actual parents even more totally and treasure
that relationship and have like appreciation is a lovely kind
of end of that story.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
It really is, do you have one more?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Uh? The subject line of this is the first and
last time my partner operated the roller coaster when my
partner was a teenager. It just gets right into it,
love it full respect. When my partner was a teenager,
he worked at his local amusement park every summer. It
wasn't six Flags huge, but it did have a single
roller coaster and a few fair like rides available, with
(15:43):
a small water park section. Just to paint the picture.
One summer, he was assigned to the roller coaster doing harness,
safety checks and picking up items left in seats, loading
and unloading folks, et cetera, et cetera. It can be
quite a monotonous job. The manager of the ride approached
an asked if he wanted to try out operating the
roller coaster for a change. This task was basically two parts. One,
(16:06):
you amp up the riders for their adventure with some
version of if you're ready to ride, make some noise,
and two, press the launch button and send them off.
That's the whole job. Okay. What you have to know
about my partner is that he's generally quiet, but deadly funny.
He agrees he wants to take a shot, and he
(16:27):
steps up to the podium over the speaker to the
now fully loaded and safety checked passengers. He says, if
you're excited to go on this ride, I want you
to remain completely silent. He waited a beat, and then
he hit the launch button, shooting the dead, silent and
generally confused partgoers into their first loop. That was the
(16:47):
first and last time you was ever asked to operate
the roller coaster. And then this is a like an
entered down separate line like the space. I really love him.
Oh Mary, she.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
That's adorable.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
If you're stopped to go on this ride up and
want you to say boom.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I thought he was going to say something like, hey,
your seatbelts aren't working.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Boom. So many ways to people, but like to like
repress them. Yeah they go is so funny classic. I
love it, so hilarious. Love.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I love silently funny people. Yeah, quietly the best, the best.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Also people that are acting like they're not being funny, right,
but they are being funny. I kind of can't control
myself around people like that.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Yeah, Hey, are you someone like that? Hey, tell us
your story about it?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
My favorite murder at Gmail or someone you know that
has a quietly funny walks out of the room mic
drop story.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Do you have one of those?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Tell us all those people that are like that would
be like no things.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
No, I don't have thee tell us your dad or
your mom who's like that?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Tell us their story.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Tell us why you love your partner or husband right,
love that or girlfriend or wife, whatever whatever thing you
have going on, you know, we want to hear about it.
We do all the hot goss now stay sexy and
don't get murdered. Goodbye, Bye, Bye Elvis.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Our producer is Alejandra Kak.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Our researcher is Jamma Harris.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Email your hometowns and fucking horays to My Favorite Murder
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my Favorite
Murder and Twitter at my favor Murder gybbye
Love, Hello, and welcome to my favorite Murder the minisode single,
the single sode. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
If you want an extra one of these the mini minisodes,
that's in the fan call for you. If you want
to watch a video of this episode of the minisode,
it's also in the fan.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Call for you. And if you're kind of like I'm
not sure if I want to see a podcast, we understand,
We understand, we do of all people. But Georgia went
and got some very expensive wallpaper for your eyes only,
so I think you need to respect that and get
in here.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Should I go first? The time?
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Do it?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Alrighty?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
This is called college radio librarian Story. Hi, Karen, Georgia
and the Battalion of Animals.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
There's like Blossom Italian.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
My name is Justin and I'm a brand new librarian
graduated with my master's in Library and Information science during quarantine,
and I thought I would share a fun story. First
of all, I wanted to spell the idea that all
librarians work in public school libraries. Some from my cohort
work in archives, helping historians find resources for books. Some
work in the medical field, helping organize information for doctors,
(01:24):
which sounds very fucking boring. Some work for lawyers and
law firms, some work in genealogy, some work for art
galleries and museums, and then there's me. I came into
the field after working at a record store in Arizona,
and I wanted to work in music librarianship. I stood
out in my grad program as the only one with
acid green hair painted nails and tattoos. But hey, I
(01:47):
like being like this and the world just better deal.
My first position on campus was with the college radio station,
where I helped shelb and organize the vinyl record collection.
Sounds fricking awesome. It was a massive two story collect
full of everything. It was super cool, But my favorite
part were finding notes left behind in the record sleeves,
love notes, grocery lists, playlist ideas, little small things that
(02:09):
remind us of fleeting moments in others' lives.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
But then there was the bat on.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
One shift I had during my first semester, I was
doing my cute little librarian thing and I pulled some
old records off the shelf and all caps bat just
hanging upside down, sleeping behind a stack of records that
probably hadn't moved in years. I had never had an
intimate encounter with a bat before like do I wake him?
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Her question mark?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I must have been there for a minute, because someone
also in the record library came up behind me and asked,
why are you frozen like that? That then startled the
bat awake and started flying around the library. I, a
punk looking gay man, squealed as loud as I could
and ran in circles trying to avoid it. The person
who was behind me did the logical thing and left
the room and called animal control me. The maniac ran
(03:00):
and ran in a circle all caps, doing nothing productive
to help get the bat out. I did this for
what seemed to be an hour until someone was able
to get in and grab the bat.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Run around the rooms, believing the room just panicking, Oh Dustinin,
I love it.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
We named them Lad and let him go. That night,
pall La got in the record library. Nobody knows. Tales
of Blad still echo in the college town. I'd like
to think Lad was a student who was a vampire
and just needed a nap in between classes, but was
instead shrieked at by me for an hour. My hard
work in my niche library interests paid off. I eventually
(03:36):
worked at Sirius and now I work at sub Pop
Records in.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Seattle, which is cool rad record.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Label as a librarian and digital operations. Thank you for
the years you've put into this project. My partner introduced
me to MFM during the pandemic, and I was probably
listening to an episode while I met Vlad. Also, your
open discussions about mental health gave me awareness on my
own mental health issues and I am now taking meds
and going to therapy.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Dustin, Wow, Dustin, I mean that was a real profile
on Dustin at the end of the day.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah, it was a.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Bat story, but it was really a Dustin story.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
We asked librarian stories and we got a Dustin librarian
story and a bat one.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
We got a Dustin style. I mean, I do love
a little bat just hanging there, but I don't that's
such an odd, very specific, culturally specific animal that I
don't know how i'd react. I think most people were like,
it's cute or something, but it's like, you don't know.
You don't know until you're face to face with a
little upside down hanging Dracula.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Sleeping one that you're like, oh God, what, I don't
know what's going to happen when I press the awake
button like blossom nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Oh she really won't you will? Are you? Okay?
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Okay, you got an ip?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Okay, this is crazy. It says you won't want to
read the subject line and then colon I hooked up
with a murderer. Good morning, MFM fam. I'm an awkward
elder millennial who's not good at small talk, so I'll
jump right in. It was spring break of my senior
year of undergrad. My roommate and I decided to go
(05:12):
to the trashiest beach in South Carolina. The only people
we could round up to go with us were my
roommate's brother and a couple of his friends. We got
a super cheap hotel room and lived off a bud
light and junk food for a long weekend. During this weekend,
there was a guy there we will call him Todd.
He was one of my roommate's brother's friends. He rolled
into the weekend with a wad of cash, mostly big bills.
(05:35):
He was shelling out the cash like there was no tomorrow,
buying all my drinks at the club. So, because I
am a maker of poor decisions in college, we hooked up.
It was a fun spring break fling, and we never
spoke again after that weekend. Fast forward to the week
after we returned, word gets around that a well known
man in my roommate's town has been stabbed to death
the day that we left for spring break. This man
(05:58):
was a landlord in town, and that day he had
gone around to collect rent from his tenants, one of
those tenants being none other than spring Break Todd. It
turns out he had gone to Todd's house that day
to collect the rent, and Todd didn't have his rent money.
There was an altercation, and Todd stabbed the landlord forty
five times. Holy shit, I mean horrifying. That's like candy level.
(06:22):
On top of that, he took the cash the landlord
collected that day, packed up his things, and came on
our spring break trip like nothing ever happened. So that's
the story of how I unintentionally hooked up with a murderer.
Don't worry, I'm totally fine. I'm actually a licensed therapist
now working specifically with survivors of trauma. I recommend your
(06:42):
podcast as a form of self care to anyone who's
asking for tips. Thanks for all you do to bring
awareness to the importance of mental health care, stay sexy,
and don't let someone buy you with murder money.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Elle, Oh my god, that's like we get I dated
a murderer, like and later they murdered someone, not like
the day before, and that is terrifying. It's terrifying. It's
like a person imagine the energy. And I'm not criticizing
Elle in any way because Elle's on a spring break weekend,
(07:15):
like I'm going to have fun no matter what someone's like,
I'm gonna buy all your drinks and we're gonna hook up.
But like that kind of it's the end of the
world's energy. Oh right, or just done that. You're such
a narcissist that you're just like that. The fact that
he could act like have a normal weekend is so chilling. Yes,
(07:35):
crazy and be charming enough to hook up with someone
still even though you just murdered someone is like unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Yeah, who you just fucking never know?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Man, Okay, this is a cat who saves lives. Let's
take a left fucking turn. Greetings and salutations. I know
how much you both love survival stories and cats, so
I thought i'd share a cute diddy When I was
in fourth grade, my best friend and I kidnapped some
kittens from a feral mama cat in the woods, which
(08:06):
makes me really sad, but there were children both our
families agreed to let us keep the kittens. We named
our girl Sushi, and my friend named her boy tinker Bell. Sadly,
tinker Bell was bitten by a water moccasin and passed
away around age four. We live in North Florida. Sushi, however,
is still kicking and peeing on everything she sees out
of spite. I am thirty years old, so Sushi is
(08:28):
pushing twenty. Now let's take it back to when Sushi
was about three years old. I was in middle school
and I had a four year old baby brother, Chris.
Our family had as swimming pool in the backyard, and
our parents let us wander in and out of the
house as we pleased as long as the back door,
which was basically a giant window on hinges stage shut.
We aren't air conditioning. The whole got damn neighborhood after all.
(08:51):
One quiet, lazy summer day, my mom was doing chores
around the house and she noticed Sushi meowing and acting strange.
So my mom stopped. What she was doing to stare
at the bonker's cat. It was then that Sushi began
doing backflips while positioned by the back door. My mom
approached Sushi and wondered if perhaps she had had too
much catnip. After a couple moments of standing and staring,
(09:13):
my mom took a look out of the glass door
to see my little brother drowning in the pool. Oh shit,
Chris was saved, all thanks to Sushi while she peas
on everything, including my stepdad's bed and pillows. Sushi is
our lord and savior. It will always be grateful, your
most loyal Murderino sister duo, Tory and Morgan.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Tori and Morgan, you have a miracle cat. It's wild
cats are the best. That's so intense. That cat knew
that child was in danger.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah, or it had had too much catnip. And it's
a fucking coincidence, but who knows.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
But it's a magical Jesus coincidence.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Gee.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
The way I'm down the subject line of this email
is how many bodies are just out in the woods. Oh,
that's a question, Karen and Georgia. So I have quite
a few different hometown murders I guess I'm just lucky
like that. I only started on your podcast nine months ago,
so I haven't caught up yet. So I'm going to
stick with a story that I know you haven't done yet.
(10:10):
How would you know, you're barely I am a mycologist,
which is somebody who works with fung guy.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Ooh right, that's like, Brad, I'm obsessed with that.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
Okay, go on, I didn't know that was the thing.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I do a lot of wild foraging for mushrooms, and
that means that I walk through the woods in all
of the out of the way and unfrequented places. So far,
I have found two different human skeletons. Wait what Yeah,
how many bodies are actually in the woods and just
too far off the beaten path for people to find them?
(10:48):
Two question marks. Both of those people died before I
was even born, which means that I was not a suspect,
but before everything was dated. I was taken in for
questioning by two separate police departments in two separate states.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I never did find out what ultimately happened in either case,
but from the initial questioning, they were both definitely foul play.
They were both completely skeletonized by the time I found them,
and I thought the first one was some sort of
cow or large animal because the femur was gigantic. However,
I have taken human anatomy, and after poking it with
(11:23):
a stick, which I totally should not have done, I
quickly realized that it was just a very large person.
The second time, I knew from the start that it
was human. Fun fact, I have found both skeletons within
about six months of each other, and no, it has
not stopped me from hiking alone in the woods. Stay
sexy and don't get murdered.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
WHOA wow, that's.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
A big wow rad job and crazy stories.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You by yourself? Yeah, deep in the forest.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, probably don't have cell service or anything, so you
have to like hike back out to call.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
What do you do? Take pictures? Likes to put ty
ribbons where you are and like.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Him, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Good Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. My last one's a
patented glitch story and it starts high friends presumptive.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I know I was.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
I was on my third day of work at a
new pharmacy in town I had just moved to when
a customer came in who looked familiar. I asked his name,
which also seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place him,
so I just gave him his drugs and carried on.
The Next day, I saw the name again and it clicked.
He was all caps my fiance's biological father. He looks
(12:41):
familiar because I share my life with someone who looks
just like him. My fiance was adopted at birth, and
while we'd seen a photo of his father in his
twenties and knew his name, his father always kept my
fiance's existence a secret, so there's been no interaction between
my partner and him. While it's a bummer that he
doesn't want to know credible biological son, at least I
(13:02):
now know some of my partner's familial medical history and
can take comfort in knowing that my partner is going
to be pretty hot as an older guy.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
But wait, there's more.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Around this same time, my partner took a twenty three
and meter DNA test. He messaged both his biological mother
and father on Facebook to warn them that he'd taken
the test in case they didn't want any family members
finding out about him. While his father never responded, his
biological mother immediately replied, I've been waiting for this day
for your entire life, and I can't believe you message now.
(13:36):
While she lives in England, she was literally five miles
away from us for the next three days helping take
care of her mother's estate, who had just passed away.
My fancy got to meet her over those three days,
something he never thought he'd be able to do, and
was reminded how lucky he was to have been raised
by his parents because she's full blown QAnon. He now
(13:59):
enjoys a blissfully long distance relationship with her, and the
experiences he's had with his biological parents have helped strengthen
his relationship with his actual parents, the one who've been
there for him every day of his life. I'll always
be grateful for y'all as your podcast was the first
point of reconnecting with a high school friend who has
now become my very closest friend. She just completed medical
(14:21):
school after returning to school in her thirties in the
midst of a pandemic. Like the absolute badass she is. Hi, Mia,
thank you for creating a community. We're supporting other women
is the norm. Mental health is a priority, and no
one is ever weird for talking about murder, Stay sexy,
and remember that the universe isn't always just random trash.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Sarah she her, Sarah, I really like that synopsis of
this podcast. That is the that is the dream, that
is the goal. You're telling us that we're delivering our
dreams and goals on time and with good marks. I'm
very excited to hear that. That is really goo crazy too.
(15:01):
And I love the idea that it's like, yes, you should,
if you want to, you should completely seek out your
biological parents. But the idea that it's like and now
I love my actual parents even more totally and treasure
that relationship and have like appreciation is a lovely kind
of end of that story.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
It really is, do you have one more?
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Uh? The subject line of this is the first and
last time my partner operated the roller coaster when my
partner was a teenager. It just gets right into it,
love it full respect. When my partner was a teenager,
he worked at his local amusement park every summer. It
wasn't six Flags huge, but it did have a single
roller coaster and a few fair like rides available, with
(15:43):
a small water park section. Just to paint the picture.
One summer, he was assigned to the roller coaster doing harness,
safety checks and picking up items left in seats, loading
and unloading folks, et cetera, et cetera. It can be
quite a monotonous job. The manager of the ride approached
an asked if he wanted to try out operating the
roller coaster for a change. This task was basically two parts. One,
(16:06):
you amp up the riders for their adventure with some
version of if you're ready to ride, make some noise,
and two, press the launch button and send them off.
That's the whole job. Okay. What you have to know
about my partner is that he's generally quiet, but deadly funny.
He agrees he wants to take a shot, and he
(16:27):
steps up to the podium over the speaker to the
now fully loaded and safety checked passengers. He says, if
you're excited to go on this ride, I want you
to remain completely silent. He waited a beat, and then
he hit the launch button, shooting the dead, silent and
generally confused partgoers into their first loop. That was the
(16:47):
first and last time you was ever asked to operate
the roller coaster. And then this is a like an
entered down separate line like the space. I really love him.
Oh Mary, she.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
That's adorable.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
If you're stopped to go on this ride up and
want you to say boom.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
I thought he was going to say something like, hey,
your seatbelts aren't working.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Boom. So many ways to people, but like to like
repress them. Yeah they go is so funny classic. I
love it, so hilarious. Love.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I love silently funny people. Yeah, quietly the best, the best.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Also people that are acting like they're not being funny, right,
but they are being funny. I kind of can't control
myself around people like that.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Yeah, Hey, are you someone like that? Hey, tell us
your story about it?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
My favorite murder at Gmail or someone you know that
has a quietly funny walks out of the room mic
drop story.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
Do you have one of those?
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Tell us all those people that are like that would
be like no things.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
No, I don't have thee tell us your dad or
your mom who's like that?
Speaker 3 (17:55):
Tell us their story.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Tell us why you love your partner or husband right,
love that or girlfriend or wife, whatever whatever thing you
have going on, you know, we want to hear about it.
We do all the hot goss now stay sexy and
don't get murdered. Goodbye, Bye, Bye Elvis.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (18:22):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Our producer is Alejandra Kak.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Our researcher is Jamma Harris.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Email your hometowns and fucking horays to My Favorite Murder
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my Favorite
Murder and Twitter at my favor Murder gybbye
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.