April 14, 2025 • 22 mins
This week's hometowns include a near-death experience and hot dog justice.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hello, and welcome my favorite murder them Minisa.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
That's right, we read you your stories about anything and
everything and your grandma and your grandma.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You want to go first?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Sure, Mine is called my own f politeness story. Greetings Karen, Georgia, Pets,
and all fellow murderinos. I'm writing as a longtime listener.
I'm a bit behind on the rewinds, but catching up.
My wife fondly refers to you as my potty mouthed
podcast girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
After hearing the Adelaide Oval abduction story, I was reminded
of a situation from my own career that perfectly embodies
your f politeness Mantra. I retired from a major metro
law enforcement agency after thirty two years, so I've got
plenty of.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Stories the lapd by chalk, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
God, but this one felt particularly relevant. One day, during
my long commute home La traffic, you know, the drill,
I was taking the streets, trying to avoid the freeways.
Something caught my eye, that gut feeling you get when
something just isn't right. I saw a young girl, maybe
twelve or thirteen, walking alone, and a station wagon was
slowly following her. The driver was leaning over trying to
(01:29):
talk to her through the passenger window. Her body language
screamed that she was uncomfortable. I immediately made a U turn
and pulled in behind the station wagon. As I did,
the station wagon pulled into a driveway ahead of us.
I spoke to the girl, identified myself as a police officer,
and asked if she knew the man. She shook her
head no. I told her to stay close. Then I
(01:50):
then pulled into the driveway, blocking the station wagon in
and with my badge in one hand and my gun drawn,
I ordered the driver to turn off the car and
show his hands. The girl stayed behind me, shaken. Using
my cell phone a new thing back then, I called
the local police, identifying myself as an off duty officer
and explicitly stating that I was the black guy holding
a gun on the bad guy, just to avoid any
(02:13):
misunderstandings in North Orange.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
County, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
During the three or four minute wait for the local coppers,
the guy tried to give me a story about how
he was innocent, pleading for me to let him go,
but I wasn't buying it. When the local officers arrived
and interviewed the girl, we learned that he had been
a substitute mailman who had delivered to her mom's house
and had been bothering her. She said he made her
extremely uncomfortable, and this was the first time he had
approached her on her way home from school. He was
(02:40):
easily in his late thirties and she was clearly very young.
Based on her statement and what I witnessed, he was
arrested for annoying a miner. He later pleaded guilty, likely
getting probation on a plea deal. I was never called
to testify, which is frustrating. I just hope he hasn't
prayed on any other children. SSDGM. And remember, screw politeness.
You don't mind your own business, Am Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Am Los Angeles, especially if you're an off duty police officer. Totally. Yeah,
the ultimate in the duty to fuck politeness. Please God,
as these people are out there's something about and I
just in my mind that was like an early eighties shitty,
broken down brown station. Yeah yeah, that's that.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Just beware totally, we'll change it a lot. I won't
read you the subject line. It says, Hi Karen George's
Sweet Animals and other Wonderful humans. There's a if you're
watching this on video, there's a whole control room filled
with wonderful humans who make this show, and they're right
over there. Maybe someday will show them as.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
They make the show if they want, if they let us,
we put a camera in there.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
They're all like no. My little sister went to college
in Rochester, New York, and worked nights at a bar
near her campus. She lived off campus with her friends
in a super cue old house in a neighborhood of
college kids. Megan had always been a badass, take no
shit kind of girl parentheses, probably because she's the baby
and has two older sisters. One day, she came home
(04:12):
from work and noticed a chair under her bedroom window,
which was on the first floor. Now this was an
older house, so the windows were about six feet off
the ground, not easy to see into or get into.
She thought it might be something another drunk college kid
did and forgot about it. A few days later, she
noticed her window ac unit had been tampered with from
the outside. She called my dad and he arrived the
(04:34):
next day to put in window alarms, as security camera
and floodlights. Then she came home one day from class
and happened to notice some movement in her backyard. She
stepped outside and saw all caps someone in her bushes.
Most people might scream, run back inside and lock the
doors and call the police, etc. Not Megan. She yelled
(04:55):
at him so loud he ran out of the bushes,
through the yard and into the street. She chased him.
I'll stop right here and say, do not ever do this,
don't chase anyone, don't ever do this. But Megan, she's
a wild one. Yeah, and it's her story, so let's
tell it. She ran after him down the middle of
the street, still yelling and throwing rocks, sticks, and even
her shoes down Megan. A few other college kids saw
(05:19):
the commotion and tried to help her catch him. Yes,
it's a mini night stalker situation.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
He got in a car and drove off. She later
found a grocery store receipt in her backyard and knew
immediately it had to be his. She turned it into
the police so they could trace it back to him.
I of course lost my ship when I heard this.
I mailed her pepper spray and a taser, but she
wanted to buy a bear trap. Megan, I mean it
(05:47):
work Megan, it'd be so funny, Megan stopping. Yeah, Megan,
thankfully I talked her out of that. Drunk college kids
and a bear trap is a disaster waiting to happen, right, Megan,
I just want to invite a few months later, she
went to a Buffalo Bills game and forgot she had
the pepper spray on her keychain. Security wouldn't let her
(06:07):
carry it in the stadium, obviously, and so she wasn't
allowed in. She was sent a letter in the mail
telling her she was banned from the stadium for having
a weapon.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
What.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I'm pretty sure she has that letter framed.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
It's all a funny story now. But a few years
ago we had found out that the guy hiding in
my little sister's bushes had been arrested and charged with
serial rape. Holy shit, because it's always that's the beginning,
that's step one.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, he's not innocently casing the joint of a young
female by herself.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
It's not an eighties movie where being a peeping tom
is charming.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Fucking ass mother fuckers.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
He had been stalking, assaulting, and raping college women all
over that neighborhood by following them home and sneaking into
their bedrooms. Super scary. And I can't believe my little
sister chased his ass down the street and threw her
shoes at him. God, I love her. I love her too.
Stay sexy and dope. Be afraid to be scarier than
the creepy guy stalking you. Stephanie Ps. Megan is now
(07:05):
a traveling oncology nurse who working with cancer patients of
all ages. She is my hero and the most amazing
human I know. Fuck yeah, Megan.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Megan like, don't chase all that stuff, but she showed
him she was a fighter yet and he's like, I'm
not coming back to this house, right, which is pretty.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Incredible, And she's like, don't because I'll trap you like
a bear, right, and then I'll enter you in a
circus and make you dance you perv.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Okay. This next one's called near death experience and why
I maybe should never have been born? Question Mark, I.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Can't be true because we need emails and you're providing this,
so this is your destiny.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Hey, MFM gang day one listener here, I've lived in
five states and had three baby girls since I first
started listening, and you guys have been one of the
constants in my life, so thank you for that and
a whole lot more. Let's get into it. Back in
the eighties, long before I was born and my parents
were married, they had begun dating in secret because my
dad is nineteen and a half years older than my mom. Oh,
(08:08):
and it says in parentheses gross and my grandmother would
not have approved. And then it says she came around eventually,
rip because my dad was a well known dentist in
our relatively small town, so she probably was like twenty
two if he was forty four, or like.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Forty right, yeah, you know, buzzy forty though.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I hope, So I don't know. Let's just over the best.
He and my mom would go on dates in a
neighboring town about an hour away, where they were less
likely to be recognized by anyone. Shit, this is the eighties.
It was on their way back from one of these
dates on a relatively unfrequented road that my dad decided
to teach my mom how to drive stick shift in
his brand new car, a Porsche nine to eleven. Of course,
(08:51):
how you say it, Yes, pork, we got an older
dentist with a Porsche nine to eleven dating a woman
twenty years his junior, which, if you don't know, is
a tiny and flashy two door sports car. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Poorst nine to eleven's were all the rage in like
the eighties, for the older dentist, for the older dentists,
finance pros, guys at doud Coke.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
My mom started out all right, shifting into gear with
relative ease, but when it came time to get up
over a hill that led to a small narrow bridge,
she panicked and stalled out. They were stuck on the uphill,
my mom not quite able to see what might be
coming over the narrow bridge from the other side. As
my dad tells it, he was able to see and
spotted a large logging truck all ah final destination headed
(09:34):
their way and told my mom she needed.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
To move the car. Now that's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, chill, it's a great way to get someone of
the inince here and sticks of you're grinding the gears
over and over again. Yeah. She kept working at getting
the car into the gear, and in near tears, looked
up to ask my dad for help, only to realize
he had opened the door, hopped out and abandoned her
and the car and was running down the hill away
from the ongoing truck.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh no, I mean sorry the world dentist. They're all married,
world needs dentnis. Save yourself doctor.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
By some miracle, my mom got the car going and
was able to crest the hill and move out of
the way just in time for the large truck to cross,
the driver laying on his horn as he passed all
caps with absolutely no help from my dad. My mom
still brings up the story and is always quick to
note how my dad thought to save himself first before
thinking of anything and anyone else. She's still fucking married him.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
She still married. Is that I have the ending?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Are we gonna call it that?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, it depends. We have to listen to the rest
of the email.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Fortunately, my mom got that car moving and saved herself
in the expensive car, and despite this huge red flag,
she stayed with my dad. They got married and had
me a few years later. So it's an ending. It's
definitely an ending. I mean, stay saxy and don't count
on your problematically older lover to save you. Alex, she her,
I bet you Alex goes to therapy. I bet you anything.
(11:00):
Alex can laugh at it because she's been.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Because she has no choice, which is how it is
for most of us. I mean, that is the fucking
funniest thing of all time. It's just like, well, at
least you know what you're dealing with now, yeah, yeah,
you can go in right because they got married, so
yeah you married it, you call.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I mean, marriage isn't always happy ending.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
If I was that young woman, and I mean young woman,
I would have.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Been like, it's my car now, yes, that's the law.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
The email subject line is carl Space treasure in old
House three minute read amazing, Hello Aunties. My partner and
I bought our first home last year in a small
town in the middle of Connecticut. We've always had dreams
of buying a mid century fixer upper, and last year
we finally found it. This home fell into disrepair after
the previous owners had passed, and it ultimately went to
(11:49):
a bank. All we were told was the couple who
lived there built the house and lived there until passing.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, Georgia would have loved our first tour of this
time capsule well as nothing had been updated in this
house since the fifties. Dude, imagine that wallpaper gorgeous through
Our final walkthrough, I found that we had some serious
crawl spaces on the second floor that were big enough
for a bunch of ghosts, stalkers and deviants to have
(12:16):
parties in. Needless to say that when we moved in,
I found a great place for our dresser or chair
right in front of the crawl space doors. Fast forward
to a few months after our purchase, and my partner
and I were realizing that the funds we had put
aside for restoring our home were quickly dwindling. We had
finished a few necessary projects, but we were quickly approaching
(12:36):
winter with the nineteen eighties furnace and water heater that
were not going to hold out for the colder months,
thank you New England winters. Around the same time, we
had some family come stay with us, two of them
being my Murderino cousins, who were excited to get a
top to bottom tour of the house, and to my disappointment,
they had me move my strategically placed furniture from the
crawl space doors so they could have a peek. I
(12:58):
ushered them in and we traversed the dark space with
our phone lights. As much as I would have rather,
we didn't as much as I would have rathered. We didn't.
What a wonderful clause. I'm glad we did, because one
of my cousins found what looked to be an old
lock box tucked away behind a support beam. Oh you
(13:18):
gotta go in those old crawl spaces.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
We had them, and we blocked most of them off.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You didn't check.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I mean, it was like, there's no reason for anyone
to have gone in there, so, yeah, there's probably a
lock box in there.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Except to hide their treasure.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
It's a perfect place, clearly to hide stuff. Yeah, maybe
you know.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I just thought of this and it's so wrong. I
was like, you could hire a task rabbit and somebody
could come to it. Can you imagine the nightmare? They're like, hey,
do you want me to move some furniture? No, get
into that crawl space. Horrifying, Okay, lock box behind the
support beam. The thing weighed a ton and we brought
it outside in the backyard crowbars and hammers in hair.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
That'd be so far exciting.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
After a proper beating on this thing, we finally pried
it open to find it full of old coins. Yes,
it's just cute Goony's theme music. Definitely my inner child
dreams had come true. I didn't even care what the
coins amounted to. Finding literal treasure in an old house
is priceless, but this is reality and we are adults.
(14:20):
So my partner and I took the old coins to
be appraised. We like to think that the old people
who owned our house saw how much we loved and
appreciated their hard work and wanted to pay it forward
to us. So when we left the coin appraisers five
thousand dollars richer, we knew exactly what we would do
with it. Yes, our mid century dream home has since
been restored, and we had a very warm winter thanks
(14:42):
to that treasure. Yes, stay sexy and don't be afraid
of crawl spaces.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
L Oh my god, that's so satisfying.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
That's also a great number. It's like five thousand. Yeah,
that's like solid check of like here, go do some goods,
Go take care of some stuff, take.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Care of that stuff. It's that annoying stuff when you
put money into our house and it's nothing you can see.
So it's just like fucking frustrating.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Until it gets real cold and you're like do do
do do do right?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Right? My lesson's called I'm not telling you, okay, but
it says short and sweet hello to all the wonderful
people at MFM slash exactly right, since we're all just
submitting stories for funzies. Now I have a good one.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Great.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
My dad and my mom have many odd stories from
the early days of their dating slash marriage life. My
favorite is how my mom met her future Italian in laws,
my parents Steve and Debbie, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
They met in nineteen eighty, so it's right.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Had been dating for a little while before. My dad
asked my mom if she would like to meet his family.
He invited her over and said his entire family would
be there. My mom walked into this house filled with
Italians to find a wake happening in the living room. Literally,
a dead body and a casket in the living room casual.
This was the early eighties. Yes, my dad had invited
(16:05):
my mom to meet his entire family at his dead
uncle's wake in some random family members living room. How romantic.
You'd think this would have been a red flag for
my mom, but alas they've been married for almost forty
years and still going strong. Wow, I'd say this is
the weirdest story of their relationship. But they literally met
at a toga party where my mom was going to
buy weed from my dad. That's this is a good one.
(16:28):
This is a sweet one after my weird one.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yes, so good.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Stay sexy and don't meet your future mother in law
in front of a corpse. Much love, Stephanie, she her.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
That's also I've never been to a wake at a
home where the road is in the home, right, But
I know that it is like traditional.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Yes, for sure. Have you ever no out of church
but not yeah? Yeah yeah, like in the living room.
It's different.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, okay, ready, okay. I picked this simply by the
subject line and did not read it. Oh shit, because
the subject line is hot dog justice.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
He got it as do work. Let's see make it work.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Hi all, I love you, but there's no time to
waste on flattery. My moment has come. It's hot dog
justice now. My god, but amazing start. Yes, I feel
good about this. Years ago, my dad was involved in
a management of the Western Pyrotechnic Association. I think we're golden.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Oh my god, we're going. I'm gonna guess festival, hot dogs, fireworks,
let's hear it. Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
They'd have a big conference each year in Lake Havasu,
where they'd build fireworks, shoot them, and party, not necessarily
in that order. This particular year, my dad was in
charge of providing hot dog buns for the kickoff barbecue.
Keep in mind, this is a barbecue for over a
thousand sweaty, meat loving self proclaimed pyromaniacs, so he had
to purchase thousands of hot dog buns, enough to fill
(17:48):
up his green Volvo station wagon to the brim. My
dad decided that the best course of action was to
purchase the hot dog buns from our local Costco. How
else could you do it?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, you're just You're a business.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You're just going to every grocery store in town and
just cleaning them out of hot dog bun. Okay, go
to Costco and then packed him into our giant rental van,
which he would be using to transport all of his
firework gear into the desert. Since I was around twelve
at the time and the prime age for providing child labor,
I helped my dad unload the hot dog buns, which
(18:21):
we stacked on every available surface in our yard. We
then rushed off to get the rental van. Enter body,
our sweet, highly food motivated lab pitbull mix oh no,
boy is My dad and I returned with the van
and pulled into our long gravel driveway. We lived in
the countryside of the South Bay Area. What up care?
(18:43):
We saw utter carnage. All around us were whole hot
dog buns, parts of hot dog buns, and the tattered
remains of the plastic bags that once held them. It
truly looked as if there had been a hot dog
bun explosion.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Body is like, this is the best moment of my
entire life.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Body is like, for all those times that you told
me to get down. Oh he told me no, I
couldn't have.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Something broke a treat in half? Oh yeah, oh yeah, wow?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
How about we double quadruple one thousand? That we got
out and my dad started swearing profusely, but he quickly
stopped as he did some math. These are a lot
of hot dog buns, but this wasn't all of them.
Where were the rest? And where was body? Our house
had a large ravine on one side, and as we
peeked over, we couldn't help but notice a long trail
(19:33):
of hot dog buns and bags that led up further
into the ravine under the cover of dense oak trees.
We called for Body, but he didn't come back. As
we waited for our own hot dog dog to return,
this is what we figured happened. As soon as we left,
Body went wild with hot dog joy on the thousands
of unprotected buns. He jumped on the table, ripped open
(19:54):
the bags, and shook the buns out everywhere. He took
bites out of some, saw the hundreds around him. Excited,
took bites out of those two. Then he realized that
he needed to relocate his stash, so he dragged bag
after bag to his height out up in the review.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
We never did find the rest of the hot dog buns,
but Body got his own hot dog justice. He came
back hours later, his stomach so full that it was
hard to the touch. Oh my god, gross, that happens
to Frank when Frank eats super fast and he goes
and lays on the couch. Just like that, he had
packed every possible part of his stomach with those delicious
(20:31):
hot dog buns. Body laid down in his dog bed
and was softly moaning and loudly farting for hours afterwards.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
And in true dog fashion, he did still try to
get us to feed him dinner. Yes, thanks for reading,
and thank you for all that you do. You're truly
a shining light in a world of darkness. Stay sexy
and guard your hot dog buns. Roya, Hey, Roya, thank
you for writing a perfect mail and letting me roll
(21:02):
the dice. That's how much I trust our murdering our listeners.
They know how to do this.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That was great. That was perfect.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
It was perfection body by bad dog, but good boy,
it's all up to body.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
That's right. Thanks for writing in, you guys and listening
and all the things.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
We love your stories, and if you want to send
one in or try again and again, we'll get there.
We'll get to your email.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Don't worry my Favorite Murder at gmail, and until then,
stay sexy and don't get murdered.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Goodbye, Elvis.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Our senior producers are Alle Hundra Keck and Molly Smith.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Our editor is Aristotle las Veda.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
This episode was mixed by Leoni Qualacci.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Email your hometowns to my Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
And follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Listen to my Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
And now you can watch us on exactly writs YouTube page.
And while you're there, please like and subscribe. Bye bye
mm hmm
Hello, and welcome my favorite murder them Minisa.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
That's right, we read you your stories about anything and
everything and your grandma and your grandma.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
You want to go first?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Sure, Mine is called my own f politeness story. Greetings Karen, Georgia, Pets,
and all fellow murderinos. I'm writing as a longtime listener.
I'm a bit behind on the rewinds, but catching up.
My wife fondly refers to you as my potty mouthed
podcast girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
After hearing the Adelaide Oval abduction story, I was reminded
of a situation from my own career that perfectly embodies
your f politeness Mantra. I retired from a major metro
law enforcement agency after thirty two years, so I've got
plenty of.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Stories the lapd by chalk, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
God, but this one felt particularly relevant. One day, during
my long commute home La traffic, you know, the drill,
I was taking the streets, trying to avoid the freeways.
Something caught my eye, that gut feeling you get when
something just isn't right. I saw a young girl, maybe
twelve or thirteen, walking alone, and a station wagon was
slowly following her. The driver was leaning over trying to
(01:29):
talk to her through the passenger window. Her body language
screamed that she was uncomfortable. I immediately made a U turn
and pulled in behind the station wagon. As I did,
the station wagon pulled into a driveway ahead of us.
I spoke to the girl, identified myself as a police officer,
and asked if she knew the man. She shook her
head no. I told her to stay close. Then I
(01:50):
then pulled into the driveway, blocking the station wagon in
and with my badge in one hand and my gun drawn,
I ordered the driver to turn off the car and
show his hands. The girl stayed behind me, shaken. Using
my cell phone a new thing back then, I called
the local police, identifying myself as an off duty officer
and explicitly stating that I was the black guy holding
a gun on the bad guy, just to avoid any
(02:13):
misunderstandings in North Orange.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
County, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
During the three or four minute wait for the local coppers,
the guy tried to give me a story about how
he was innocent, pleading for me to let him go,
but I wasn't buying it. When the local officers arrived
and interviewed the girl, we learned that he had been
a substitute mailman who had delivered to her mom's house
and had been bothering her. She said he made her
extremely uncomfortable, and this was the first time he had
approached her on her way home from school. He was
(02:40):
easily in his late thirties and she was clearly very young.
Based on her statement and what I witnessed, he was
arrested for annoying a miner. He later pleaded guilty, likely
getting probation on a plea deal. I was never called
to testify, which is frustrating. I just hope he hasn't
prayed on any other children. SSDGM. And remember, screw politeness.
You don't mind your own business, Am Los Angeles.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Am Los Angeles, especially if you're an off duty police officer. Totally. Yeah,
the ultimate in the duty to fuck politeness. Please God,
as these people are out there's something about and I
just in my mind that was like an early eighties shitty,
broken down brown station. Yeah yeah, that's that.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Just beware totally, we'll change it a lot. I won't
read you the subject line. It says, Hi Karen George's
Sweet Animals and other Wonderful humans. There's a if you're
watching this on video, there's a whole control room filled
with wonderful humans who make this show, and they're right
over there. Maybe someday will show them as.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
They make the show if they want, if they let us,
we put a camera in there.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
They're all like no. My little sister went to college
in Rochester, New York, and worked nights at a bar
near her campus. She lived off campus with her friends
in a super cue old house in a neighborhood of
college kids. Megan had always been a badass, take no
shit kind of girl parentheses, probably because she's the baby
and has two older sisters. One day, she came home
(04:12):
from work and noticed a chair under her bedroom window,
which was on the first floor. Now this was an
older house, so the windows were about six feet off
the ground, not easy to see into or get into.
She thought it might be something another drunk college kid
did and forgot about it. A few days later, she
noticed her window ac unit had been tampered with from
the outside. She called my dad and he arrived the
(04:34):
next day to put in window alarms, as security camera
and floodlights. Then she came home one day from class
and happened to notice some movement in her backyard. She
stepped outside and saw all caps someone in her bushes.
Most people might scream, run back inside and lock the
doors and call the police, etc. Not Megan. She yelled
(04:55):
at him so loud he ran out of the bushes,
through the yard and into the street. She chased him.
I'll stop right here and say, do not ever do this,
don't chase anyone, don't ever do this. But Megan, she's
a wild one. Yeah, and it's her story, so let's
tell it. She ran after him down the middle of
the street, still yelling and throwing rocks, sticks, and even
her shoes down Megan. A few other college kids saw
(05:19):
the commotion and tried to help her catch him. Yes,
it's a mini night stalker situation.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
He got in a car and drove off. She later
found a grocery store receipt in her backyard and knew
immediately it had to be his. She turned it into
the police so they could trace it back to him.
I of course lost my ship when I heard this.
I mailed her pepper spray and a taser, but she
wanted to buy a bear trap. Megan, I mean it
(05:47):
work Megan, it'd be so funny, Megan stopping. Yeah, Megan,
thankfully I talked her out of that. Drunk college kids
and a bear trap is a disaster waiting to happen, right, Megan,
I just want to invite a few months later, she
went to a Buffalo Bills game and forgot she had
the pepper spray on her keychain. Security wouldn't let her
(06:07):
carry it in the stadium, obviously, and so she wasn't
allowed in. She was sent a letter in the mail
telling her she was banned from the stadium for having
a weapon.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
What.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
I'm pretty sure she has that letter framed.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
It's all a funny story now. But a few years
ago we had found out that the guy hiding in
my little sister's bushes had been arrested and charged with
serial rape. Holy shit, because it's always that's the beginning,
that's step one.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, he's not innocently casing the joint of a young
female by herself.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
It's not an eighties movie where being a peeping tom
is charming.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Fucking ass mother fuckers.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
He had been stalking, assaulting, and raping college women all
over that neighborhood by following them home and sneaking into
their bedrooms. Super scary. And I can't believe my little
sister chased his ass down the street and threw her
shoes at him. God, I love her. I love her too.
Stay sexy and dope. Be afraid to be scarier than
the creepy guy stalking you. Stephanie Ps. Megan is now
(07:05):
a traveling oncology nurse who working with cancer patients of
all ages. She is my hero and the most amazing
human I know. Fuck yeah, Megan.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Megan like, don't chase all that stuff, but she showed
him she was a fighter yet and he's like, I'm
not coming back to this house, right, which is pretty.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Incredible, And she's like, don't because I'll trap you like
a bear, right, and then I'll enter you in a
circus and make you dance you perv.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Okay. This next one's called near death experience and why
I maybe should never have been born? Question Mark, I.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Can't be true because we need emails and you're providing this,
so this is your destiny.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Hey, MFM gang day one listener here, I've lived in
five states and had three baby girls since I first
started listening, and you guys have been one of the
constants in my life, so thank you for that and
a whole lot more. Let's get into it. Back in
the eighties, long before I was born and my parents
were married, they had begun dating in secret because my
dad is nineteen and a half years older than my mom. Oh,
(08:08):
and it says in parentheses gross and my grandmother would
not have approved. And then it says she came around eventually,
rip because my dad was a well known dentist in
our relatively small town, so she probably was like twenty
two if he was forty four, or like.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Forty right, yeah, you know, buzzy forty though.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
I hope, So I don't know. Let's just over the best.
He and my mom would go on dates in a
neighboring town about an hour away, where they were less
likely to be recognized by anyone. Shit, this is the eighties.
It was on their way back from one of these
dates on a relatively unfrequented road that my dad decided
to teach my mom how to drive stick shift in
his brand new car, a Porsche nine to eleven. Of course,
(08:51):
how you say it, Yes, pork, we got an older
dentist with a Porsche nine to eleven dating a woman
twenty years his junior, which, if you don't know, is
a tiny and flashy two door sports car. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Poorst nine to eleven's were all the rage in like
the eighties, for the older dentist, for the older dentists,
finance pros, guys at doud Coke.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
My mom started out all right, shifting into gear with
relative ease, but when it came time to get up
over a hill that led to a small narrow bridge,
she panicked and stalled out. They were stuck on the uphill,
my mom not quite able to see what might be
coming over the narrow bridge from the other side. As
my dad tells it, he was able to see and
spotted a large logging truck all ah final destination headed
(09:34):
their way and told my mom she needed.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
To move the car. Now that's a lot of pressure.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Yeah, chill, it's a great way to get someone of
the inince here and sticks of you're grinding the gears
over and over again. Yeah. She kept working at getting
the car into the gear, and in near tears, looked
up to ask my dad for help, only to realize
he had opened the door, hopped out and abandoned her
and the car and was running down the hill away
from the ongoing truck.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh no, I mean sorry the world dentist. They're all married,
world needs dentnis. Save yourself doctor.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
By some miracle, my mom got the car going and
was able to crest the hill and move out of
the way just in time for the large truck to cross,
the driver laying on his horn as he passed all
caps with absolutely no help from my dad. My mom
still brings up the story and is always quick to
note how my dad thought to save himself first before
thinking of anything and anyone else. She's still fucking married him.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
She still married. Is that I have the ending?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Are we gonna call it that?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Well, it depends. We have to listen to the rest
of the email.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Fortunately, my mom got that car moving and saved herself
in the expensive car, and despite this huge red flag,
she stayed with my dad. They got married and had
me a few years later. So it's an ending. It's
definitely an ending. I mean, stay saxy and don't count
on your problematically older lover to save you. Alex, she her,
I bet you Alex goes to therapy. I bet you anything.
(11:00):
Alex can laugh at it because she's been.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Because she has no choice, which is how it is
for most of us. I mean, that is the fucking
funniest thing of all time. It's just like, well, at
least you know what you're dealing with now, yeah, yeah,
you can go in right because they got married, so
yeah you married it, you call.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I mean, marriage isn't always happy ending.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
If I was that young woman, and I mean young woman,
I would have.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Been like, it's my car now, yes, that's the law.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
The email subject line is carl Space treasure in old
House three minute read amazing, Hello Aunties. My partner and
I bought our first home last year in a small
town in the middle of Connecticut. We've always had dreams
of buying a mid century fixer upper, and last year
we finally found it. This home fell into disrepair after
the previous owners had passed, and it ultimately went to
(11:49):
a bank. All we were told was the couple who
lived there built the house and lived there until passing.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, Georgia would have loved our first tour of this
time capsule well as nothing had been updated in this
house since the fifties. Dude, imagine that wallpaper gorgeous through
Our final walkthrough, I found that we had some serious
crawl spaces on the second floor that were big enough
for a bunch of ghosts, stalkers and deviants to have
(12:16):
parties in. Needless to say that when we moved in,
I found a great place for our dresser or chair
right in front of the crawl space doors. Fast forward
to a few months after our purchase, and my partner
and I were realizing that the funds we had put
aside for restoring our home were quickly dwindling. We had
finished a few necessary projects, but we were quickly approaching
(12:36):
winter with the nineteen eighties furnace and water heater that
were not going to hold out for the colder months,
thank you New England winters. Around the same time, we
had some family come stay with us, two of them
being my Murderino cousins, who were excited to get a
top to bottom tour of the house, and to my disappointment,
they had me move my strategically placed furniture from the
crawl space doors so they could have a peek. I
(12:58):
ushered them in and we traversed the dark space with
our phone lights. As much as I would have rather,
we didn't as much as I would have rathered. We didn't.
What a wonderful clause. I'm glad we did, because one
of my cousins found what looked to be an old
lock box tucked away behind a support beam. Oh you
(13:18):
gotta go in those old crawl spaces.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
We had them, and we blocked most of them off.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You didn't check.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
I mean, it was like, there's no reason for anyone
to have gone in there, so, yeah, there's probably a
lock box in there.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Except to hide their treasure.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
It's a perfect place, clearly to hide stuff. Yeah, maybe
you know.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I just thought of this and it's so wrong. I
was like, you could hire a task rabbit and somebody
could come to it. Can you imagine the nightmare? They're like, hey,
do you want me to move some furniture? No, get
into that crawl space. Horrifying, Okay, lock box behind the
support beam. The thing weighed a ton and we brought
it outside in the backyard crowbars and hammers in hair.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
That'd be so far exciting.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
After a proper beating on this thing, we finally pried
it open to find it full of old coins. Yes,
it's just cute Goony's theme music. Definitely my inner child
dreams had come true. I didn't even care what the
coins amounted to. Finding literal treasure in an old house
is priceless, but this is reality and we are adults.
(14:20):
So my partner and I took the old coins to
be appraised. We like to think that the old people
who owned our house saw how much we loved and
appreciated their hard work and wanted to pay it forward
to us. So when we left the coin appraisers five
thousand dollars richer, we knew exactly what we would do
with it. Yes, our mid century dream home has since
been restored, and we had a very warm winter thanks
(14:42):
to that treasure. Yes, stay sexy and don't be afraid
of crawl spaces.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
L Oh my god, that's so satisfying.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
That's also a great number. It's like five thousand. Yeah,
that's like solid check of like here, go do some goods,
Go take care of some stuff, take.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Care of that stuff. It's that annoying stuff when you
put money into our house and it's nothing you can see.
So it's just like fucking frustrating.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Until it gets real cold and you're like do do
do do do right?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Right? My lesson's called I'm not telling you, okay, but
it says short and sweet hello to all the wonderful
people at MFM slash exactly right, since we're all just
submitting stories for funzies. Now I have a good one.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Great.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
My dad and my mom have many odd stories from
the early days of their dating slash marriage life. My
favorite is how my mom met her future Italian in laws,
my parents Steve and Debbie, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
They met in nineteen eighty, so it's right.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Had been dating for a little while before. My dad
asked my mom if she would like to meet his family.
He invited her over and said his entire family would
be there. My mom walked into this house filled with
Italians to find a wake happening in the living room. Literally,
a dead body and a casket in the living room casual.
This was the early eighties. Yes, my dad had invited
(16:05):
my mom to meet his entire family at his dead
uncle's wake in some random family members living room. How romantic.
You'd think this would have been a red flag for
my mom, but alas they've been married for almost forty
years and still going strong. Wow, I'd say this is
the weirdest story of their relationship. But they literally met
at a toga party where my mom was going to
buy weed from my dad. That's this is a good one.
(16:28):
This is a sweet one after my weird one.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yes, so good.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Stay sexy and don't meet your future mother in law
in front of a corpse. Much love, Stephanie, she her.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
That's also I've never been to a wake at a
home where the road is in the home, right, But
I know that it is like traditional.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Yes, for sure. Have you ever no out of church
but not yeah? Yeah yeah, like in the living room.
It's different.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Yeah, okay, ready, okay. I picked this simply by the
subject line and did not read it. Oh shit, because
the subject line is hot dog justice.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
He got it as do work. Let's see make it work.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Hi all, I love you, but there's no time to
waste on flattery. My moment has come. It's hot dog
justice now. My god, but amazing start. Yes, I feel
good about this. Years ago, my dad was involved in
a management of the Western Pyrotechnic Association. I think we're golden.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Oh my god, we're going. I'm gonna guess festival, hot dogs, fireworks,
let's hear it. Okay.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
They'd have a big conference each year in Lake Havasu,
where they'd build fireworks, shoot them, and party, not necessarily
in that order. This particular year, my dad was in
charge of providing hot dog buns for the kickoff barbecue.
Keep in mind, this is a barbecue for over a
thousand sweaty, meat loving self proclaimed pyromaniacs, so he had
to purchase thousands of hot dog buns, enough to fill
(17:48):
up his green Volvo station wagon to the brim. My
dad decided that the best course of action was to
purchase the hot dog buns from our local Costco. How
else could you do it?
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Yeah, you're just You're a business.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You're just going to every grocery store in town and
just cleaning them out of hot dog bun. Okay, go
to Costco and then packed him into our giant rental van,
which he would be using to transport all of his
firework gear into the desert. Since I was around twelve
at the time and the prime age for providing child labor,
I helped my dad unload the hot dog buns, which
(18:21):
we stacked on every available surface in our yard. We
then rushed off to get the rental van. Enter body,
our sweet, highly food motivated lab pitbull mix oh no,
boy is My dad and I returned with the van
and pulled into our long gravel driveway. We lived in
the countryside of the South Bay Area. What up care?
(18:43):
We saw utter carnage. All around us were whole hot
dog buns, parts of hot dog buns, and the tattered
remains of the plastic bags that once held them. It
truly looked as if there had been a hot dog
bun explosion.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Body is like, this is the best moment of my
entire life.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Body is like, for all those times that you told
me to get down. Oh he told me no, I
couldn't have.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Something broke a treat in half? Oh yeah, oh yeah, wow?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
How about we double quadruple one thousand? That we got
out and my dad started swearing profusely, but he quickly
stopped as he did some math. These are a lot
of hot dog buns, but this wasn't all of them.
Where were the rest? And where was body? Our house
had a large ravine on one side, and as we
peeked over, we couldn't help but notice a long trail
(19:33):
of hot dog buns and bags that led up further
into the ravine under the cover of dense oak trees.
We called for Body, but he didn't come back. As
we waited for our own hot dog dog to return,
this is what we figured happened. As soon as we left,
Body went wild with hot dog joy on the thousands
of unprotected buns. He jumped on the table, ripped open
(19:54):
the bags, and shook the buns out everywhere. He took
bites out of some, saw the hundreds around him. Excited,
took bites out of those two. Then he realized that
he needed to relocate his stash, so he dragged bag
after bag to his height out up in the review.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
We never did find the rest of the hot dog buns,
but Body got his own hot dog justice. He came
back hours later, his stomach so full that it was
hard to the touch. Oh my god, gross, that happens
to Frank when Frank eats super fast and he goes
and lays on the couch. Just like that, he had
packed every possible part of his stomach with those delicious
(20:31):
hot dog buns. Body laid down in his dog bed
and was softly moaning and loudly farting for hours afterwards.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
And in true dog fashion, he did still try to
get us to feed him dinner. Yes, thanks for reading,
and thank you for all that you do. You're truly
a shining light in a world of darkness. Stay sexy
and guard your hot dog buns. Roya, Hey, Roya, thank
you for writing a perfect mail and letting me roll
(21:02):
the dice. That's how much I trust our murdering our listeners.
They know how to do this.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That was great. That was perfect.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
It was perfection body by bad dog, but good boy,
it's all up to body.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
That's right. Thanks for writing in, you guys and listening
and all the things.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
We love your stories, and if you want to send
one in or try again and again, we'll get there.
We'll get to your email.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Don't worry my Favorite Murder at gmail, and until then,
stay sexy and don't get murdered.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Goodbye, Elvis.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (21:38):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Our senior producers are Alle Hundra Keck and Molly Smith.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
Our editor is Aristotle las Veda.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
This episode was mixed by Leoni Qualacci.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Email your hometowns to my Favorite Murder at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
And follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Listen to my Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
And now you can watch us on exactly writs YouTube page.
And while you're there, please like and subscribe. Bye bye
mm hmm
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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