May 5, 2025 • 23 mins
This week’s hometowns include a date with a murderer and an old-timey shootout.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I say hello, and welcome to my favorite murder, the
minisode where we read you your stories. You're gonna love it.
Watch and listen. Now as Georgia does it.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'll go first. Yes, this is called I said, I'm
not going to read you this. Nope, it's about a sister. Okay, Hi, Hi,
So I'm still feeling guilty about this, but my sister
didn't die few However, someone did.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
This is quite a start to an email.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, okay. So I'm at an airport in Tucson, Arizona,
my hometown, but this isn't my hometown murder. This older
man approaches me while I'm waiting to board. He asked
me about my TSA pre board status. I don't know
how he saw that, but I'm thinking, do you live
under a rock? So we converse. I inform him that
I have this elite boarding status because I haven't brought
(01:04):
a bomb onto the airplane or murdered anyone. I tell
him he can get one for just eighty dollars. This
will be funny. Later, I ask him where he's traveling
to Santa Barbara. Ooh fancy, I respond, I ask what
he does for a living mind? You, I'm married and
not interested. But my sister is single, a former sex
worker with no prospects, and is looking for someone to
take care of her. So I'm trying to help.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yes get in there, and he.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Tells me he's a lawyer. He proceeds to inform me
that he went to school with King Charles and that
Ralph Nader was his mentor. I ask him how many
cases he's won, and he says I've never lost a case.
I'm thinking this might be a good catch for my sister.
I get his number, text my sister for permission to share,
and they eventually meet via text. I love this. This
(01:48):
is so me. I try to fucking set every person up,
even though I'm not.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Good at it. Is anybody good at it?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
No, it's not because it's not good. Okay. He tells
her he was married, but he's a widower, has two
children that he's so proud of, but he doesn't have
much of a relationship, but doesn't elaborate on this. They
do the texting and talking for about a month until
they finally agreed to meet. My sister lives in La Joya.
He takes the train down from Santa Barbara and it's
on she meets him at the station. He wants a
(02:17):
kiss and she reciprocates, but feels a very negative vibe.
Immediate kisses creepy. They go on to have a meal
together that he doesn't pay for and that says really,
and they end the evening with him going to his
hotel room and my sister going back to her apartment.
The next day, they enjoy Lahoya together and do la
joya things It says, sea lions and shopping. I'm assuming,
(02:40):
and are starting to really enjoy the relationship they're forming,
But the evening ends with each in their own beds,
much to his chagrin. This happens to be his birthday weekend,
and she had arranged cake and champagne and small gifts
for the next day, so they celebrate, but he has
something he needs to tell her. Apparently he just got
out of prison a year prior after serving twenty five
(03:03):
years for all caps murdering his wife. Oh no, they
were going through a divorce and he was moving out
of their house when he killed her. He claimed she
fell on the knives he was carrying out. No no, no,
no no, they were all of the knives up position
question mark, and that it was also self defense because
she tried to kill him. Question Mark. Their seven year
(03:26):
old son heard his mother pleading for her life and
his father responding, you should have thought about that before
you decided to divorce me.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He the son testified to that, and that's what got
his father put away for twenty five years to life.
He didn't get out until he served the entire twenty
five years, so he apparently was not a model inmate.
The fucked up part is that my sister was still
willing to believe it was self defense until I dug
up this article and made her read it. So she
did and realized she had fallen for a murderous narcissist,
(03:58):
as desperate women sometimes do. She eventually drove him back
to the train station, pretending that all was well, and
when he boarded the train, she immediately blocked all his
contact info. I hope we can eventually laugh about this,
but we're not there yet. No SSDGM cheers from the
ie Tanya she set her. The subject line is I
(04:19):
set my sister up with a murderer.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, and also that god, it's so hard. I mean
I was gonna say these days, but I think it
just always is hard where it's like you go through
some shit in life, you finally meet somebody and you're like, oh,
I think i'd kind of given up on this now
meeting this person. Wait, we're kind of clicking. Wait, it's
like the vibe is wrong, but wait, just give him
another chance. Like yeah, It's like by the time she's like, hey, wait,
(04:44):
her sister's like, hey, hold on, this is a mistake.
She's like, no, I got a fight for the man
I love.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's like, no, dude, yeah, maybe this connection's hard to find.
Oh my god. It's just we're also never allowed to
set anyone up ever again.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
If that happens, what women have to consider truly.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Truly a man ever considered that on a date before.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Okay, maybe we'll change it up a little bit with
this email.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Please.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
This subject line reads and I quote don't read the
subject line it'll give it away. And then in parentheses
it says trash kid story. All right, So it just
starts the year nineteen ninety four. We open on the
interior of the Merritt Square mall on the eastern coast
of Florida. The smells from Barney's Coffee Sparrow and China
(05:32):
walk mingle in the air. Oh my god, the mall
in ninety four Powerful.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Powerful, take me back in Florida of all places.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Yeah, where the smells are going to hang in that
air because the air is dense and thick. Through a
sea of acid washed denim wearing teenagers, we see a
Puerto Rican man in his mid sixties leading an adorable
and clearly precocious child through the crowd by the hand,
a normal scene by all accounts, until the duo walks
past store selling bespoke wooden toys of all kinds. The
(06:04):
child tugs away from the man, trying to enter this
clearly magical store and bathe in the majesty of overpriced
rocking horses. But the man begins walking faster and pulls
the child along, entering birdines. Have you heard of that?
M I think it's a department store? Birdines, b u
r di nes. Their child begins to cry and scream,
(06:26):
begging for his mother and to go home, drawing the
attention of two old biddies who clearly sit next to
each other under hair dryers on a weekly basis, And
then in parentheses it says love them, Yes, they follow
the man and the child, eventually catching up to them
and demanding that the man allow them to take the
child back inside and find his mother, or they will
call the police. Oh no, no, no, no no, this
(06:49):
is my grandson. We're late to pick up my wife
from her hair appointment, so I wouldn't let him go
into the toy store. That's all in quotes. The man
pulls out a brown wallet, and a cascade of family
photos descends towards the ground. Remember those, Oh my god,
like the Accordion photo.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Holders in your wallet.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yes, one picture clearly shows the man with a beautiful
older woman and a much younger woman holding the child
clearly his mother. Okay. The women apologize profusely and begin
cooing over how cute the child is. Just look at
those eyes in those chubby cheeks. He's exactly the kind
of kid they snatch. And then it says in Parentes's
actual quote, the women turn and leave, and the man
(07:30):
gets the child safely secured in the back seat of
the white Ford Taurus before driving away. And that's the
story of how I almost got my grandfather arrested. Stay
sexy and maybe just let the kid ride the rocking horse.
For two minutes, so you don't almost end up in prison. JK.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
He him, Oh my god, I want my mommy. I
want to go home.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I want to go home. You're not my daddy.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
And it's like, yeh, because I'm the grandpa.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yes, you're not my daddy.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I mean. Good for those biddies, right, Like that's a
hard thing. You don't mind your business in the situation
like that.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
In nineteen ninety four, ohah G murders, Oh G. They
were like, no, you will not be going anywhere with children. Yeah.
What I like to think of is those women followed
cases like Adam Walsh where they're actually happened. No one's
getting taken out of them all today, no talrying child
on our watch.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Oh my god. They are like little tiny superheroes with
shampoo sets. Oh god, I love them. That's someone's grandma
who listens like it.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I know. JK. You're a hero for sending that in
And basically you're the trash kid you just told us about.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I have a trash kid story too. Okay, it's called
I convinced my little brother that my mom was a murderer.
A load of two of my favorite people and everyone
on your team who helps make MFM happen. I was
a trash kid. Overall, I was pretty good, but I
loved to lie. I was also an only child until
(09:00):
I was seven, and the first grandchild, and I spent
all day every day at my grandma's house when my
mom was at work, so I was spoiled and not
thrilled when my mom eventually had my two little brothers,
I fucking bet you gotta have them earlier. They're gonna
resent them.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You know, you're just messing with a child's sense of reality,
where it's like, oh, guess what you're now the older
I would assume, sister.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, less important. Now they're either great at it or terrible.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
At it, right, and you're not. Like Grandma doesn't only
give you that look, now, she gives it to these
two losers who just got here. Like what she just.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Fucking showed up late at the party. Why are they
getting the fucking best piece of cake? Okay, to preface
the story, all of us have names that start with A.
Both of my brothers were picky eaters, and dinner was
a battle every day. One day, my mom was particularly
frustrated that they would not eat their dinner when she
left the room, I looked at the older of my brothers,
the youngest was a toddler at the time, and told him,
(09:56):
you might want to eat that. Andrew used to be
a picky eater too. He looked at me and says,
who's Andrew, to which I reply, he was our brother
until he wouldn't eat his dinner one day and Mom
snapped and killed him. Oh no, of course he didn't
believe me, so there was some back and forth over
the next few minutes about the details how old he was,
(10:17):
and why are there no pictures of him? Why do
we never talk about him, all of which I was
able to explain away while looking back and forth and whispering,
because obviously I wouldn't want my mom to hear me
revealing her deepest, darkest secret.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
God.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
When my mom came back into the kitchen, my brother
immediately asked her who Andrew was. Keep in mind she
was already irritated with us and was not in the
mood to be asked stupid questions like did you have
a son named Andrew who you murdered because he wouldn't
eat his dinner? She exasperatedly said, what the fuck are
you talking about and I replied, it's time to come clean, mom.
(10:50):
I told him everything cut to me now arguing with
my mom about whether she killed her made up son
or not. This exchange eventually ended with her giving up
and saying, yeah, I guess I did. Now, please just
eat your dinner. I considered it a win. Now that
we are adults and I have a son of my own,
I understand why she was quote crazy, and I fully
(11:13):
expect karmic retribution. To this day. My mom gets mad,
My brother and I look at each other with horror
fried expressions and say Andrew, which only infuriates her more.
Stay sexy and eat your vegetables, Ashley. I'm cracking over
it to get hilarious because it's so something my fucking
brother would have done. Yes, both my siblings would have
(11:34):
done to me for sure.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Well, first of all, I love that Ashley admits she
loved lying, which I think is a very human thing,
but not many people can admit it. But it is
like there is a thing to that where it's just like,
watch what I'm going to conjure up out of.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Look at the chaos I can make just by thinking
of something and saying it out loud yes.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And then convincing a child of it hilarious.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And then the mom playing mom beings so exhausted, so
she's like, yes, okay, if that gets you to eat
your fucking dinner.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yes, fine, just eat your chicken pop pie, you fool
good god.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
The subject line of this email is my mom's old
timey shootout story and then it just starts okay, so
this is a crazy one. I don't know if you
have asked for this shootout stories doesn't matter. I mean
it does not at this point, but I know you
need it in your knowledge base. I couldn't make this
hill billy shit up if I tried. This is my
mom's story. She lived in Gary, Indiana until she was twelve,
(12:32):
when her dad purchased a large farm about an hour's
south to bring his family of thirteen kids. Woo yeah,
and then it says yes thirteen in all caps. Flash
forward a few years to nineteen seventy three. It went
down at my uncle Mike's wedding reception on the farm.
After the ceremony, when the bride and groom have already left,
but the party kept going, these random relatives of the
(12:54):
bride started causing trouble. They were taking booze, beer, etc.
Basically trying to hijack the whole and party. My grandmother
let them know that they were welcome to party at
the farm, but they couldn't take the party home, and
they called her a bit and then dot dot Oh
no no no in lowercase, oh no, no no. My uncles
(13:16):
and grandfather basically told these assholes to fuck right off
and kick them out. You can do that sort of
thing when you have seven sons as backup. Yeah, they left,
but they weren't done. No, we're getting into it later.
Someone called the house with a warning and then it
says quotes there are people parking vans at the grain
elevator down the road and they're all getting out with
(13:38):
weapons headed for your house. Oh shit, end quote. These
assholes had parked away from the house so they wouldn't
be seen, then started walking up to the property. They
actually started all caps shooting at the house.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
What the fuck.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
My family called the cops, while my uncles caught a
few of them and kicked their assins. So the police
finally arrived and took them all away. But of course,
in the small town world, good old boys, the cops
just took them into town and told them to go home, so,
of course, all caps they came back.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Later that same day they returned with more guns and
started driving through the yard, shooting at the house and
tossing molotov cocktails. What the fuck these are your in laws?
This is your new family.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
There's like people in there.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Children, it's a wedding.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
What are you wedding celebration? What level of alcoholism is
this moonshine? You know it's it's moight fucking hoot and nanny.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
One dumbass even accidentally shot his own truck in the process.
The state police finally showed up to the next day.
My grandpa was so furious he told them if those
motherfuckers show up again, I'm getting my back ho and
they'll all disappeared.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It's a more Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
The cop was like, sir, you can't do that, but
Grandpa was about a steel worker who had zero fox
left to give. Then people started calling to warn my
family that those psychos were planning to come back and
burn the house down while everyone was sleeping. So about
thirty two hours this is epic. About thirty two hours
after the initial incident, my mom and family had eight
(15:17):
people at the house, all armed and waiting. This reminds
me of the second season of Fargo.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
It's totally cool Jean Smart is running that mafia family. Yes,
my mom gathered all the little kids and hid them
in the staircase, the most internal place in the house.
I guess I'm like under the staircase seller maybe yeah,
she figured someone would have to shoot through multiple walls
to get to them. There. Yep, my sweet mom in
(15:44):
an actual fucking shootout. And in parentheses it says side note,
could nobody get rid of the kids in thirty two hours?
I mean, I know childcare is rough, but damn. And
then it says, thankfully the attackers never showed up again,
stay sexy and just skip the nineteen seventy farmhouse wedding reception.
Love you ladies and the whole MFM crew jc B.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Couldn't the bride like just put a word out to
her family, like, yo.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Hi, can I talk to my mother in law for
a second? Can calmer heads prevail here? This seems a
little wild? Oh my god, isn't that nuts?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
That's fucking nuts? Okay, My last one is a hero
trash cat nice. Maybe I only picked it because the
cat's name is Moses, which is my cat's name. Oh yeah,
my Mo. But no, it's a good one. I love.
I would like to tell you about my wonderful trash
(16:40):
cat who became our family's hero, Moses. I grew up
with Moses the cat as my little brother. And when
I say he was my brother, he really did, cause
mayhem like he was a younger sibling. And that's my mo.
He is the fucking and then he does this. He
started out as an indoor cat, but Moses had other plans.
Mo does this all the time. He would regularly run
(17:01):
full speed at the fly screen door and launch onto them,
clinging with every last fiber of his being.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
And then proceed to scream, Yeah, fucking does that because
he wants out so bad.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, So my mom gave in and let him become free.
Once he gained his freedom, he was prone to stealing
the neighbors underwear from their washing lines, making his way
up the most fragile trees which he could not get
down from, and screaming for us to help him, and
bringing live whipsnakes to our front door. Oh oh, FYI
whipsnakes are known to be extremely dangerous to children, and
(17:35):
our family had three of those. He really was a menace,
but one night he gained hero title. This is a
story from my mom's perspective. As she slept soundly, she
suddenly woke up to Moses absolutely howling. At three am.
She went out to see what the issue was and
noticed a bright red glow coming from the lounge room.
(17:55):
As she looked out the window, she saw that the
fence just a foot away from our house was complete
on fire. Moses was sitting inside, looking out for the
window and loudly crying. She called the fire brigade and
the fence was put out, but the firefighters said that
if they had waited ten more minutes, both our house
and the neighbor's house would have been set ablaze. Even worse,
we had just taken out our batteries from our smoke
(18:18):
detectors due to how often we burnt food. Don't fucking
do that. Just deal with the fucking get a fan,
Got a fan?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
It is the great solution, nough where it's like, I'm
very good all the time, but let's just not deal
with that.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
You know what the solution is not to learn how
to cook and not to get a fan. No, so
like if he hadn't been their fire alarm, they wouldn't
have had one. Yeah, period, yep. Well never know how
many lives Moses saved that night, but after that we
let him do whatever he wanted.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Yes, lipsnakes for everyone.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
That's right. Moses sadly passed away last year, but it
hasn't really sunk in that he has gone because he
was outside so often, and so I like to think
that he's still wandering around catching snakes and stealing bras
he is.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
He iss.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yes, my god, thank you for being incredible people. Sixteen
year old me, thanks you for getting me through difficult
school years. My god, Oh love your work. Sophie from Australia,
Oh Aralia, thank you and think thanks Moses, good boy.
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Moses is a legend. Yeah, globally global legend. A global legend,
not a local hero. Okay, well it's perfect setup because
I have a dog story, a trash dog story, I
tell you great. This subject line is always trust your
dog's intuition and says hello friends, let's do this email thing.
When I was about twenty one, I was visiting my
(19:47):
parents and brought my dog along with me, Peanut. I
don't know why I've bit The name Peanut for a
dog makes me laugh so hard every time.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It's cute.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Peanut was a crusty white dog who loved eat, trash
and pee in the house, but she loved me more
than anything, and I couldn't have asked for a better friend.
As I was leaving, my dad and a neighbor were
hanging out in the garage. Peanut was on her leash
walking out with me, but immediately started growling at the
neighbor Let's call him Ka. Kay was in his forties
and one of those guys who still acted like some
(20:19):
sort of d bag college dude. Kay started taunting Peanut.
He pretended to charge after me and grabbed my arm
and started to shake me. He was laughing and thought
it was funny that Peanut was growling and barking at him,
until Peanut attacked his leg to protect me. Helliah, Peanut
got a couple good bites in before I pulled her away.
(20:41):
She had never bitten anyone before, so I was shocked.
But let's be real, this was Kay's fault for taunting
a growling dog, So I fucked politeness and didn't apologize good.
I continued on my way, picked up Peanut and left.
My mom called me after I left, saying that I
should come back and apologize to Kay. Kay's leg covered
in tattoos and peanuts bite cut through his skin, and
(21:03):
he is very upset about it because once healed his quote,
tattoos would be ruined.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Okay, dumb asked, nobody gives a.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Shit, please, he says, blah blah blah. I did not
go back to apologize, and I told my mom maybe
he should learn how to behave around animals. And then
it just says, well, well, well. Fast forward a few
months and Kay had been arrested for child molesting. I
don't know the whole story, but multiple twelve and thirteen
year old girls had come forward saying that Kay had
(21:33):
been sexually abusing them. I don't know who these girls
are or how he knew them, but he ended up
going to jail.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Holy shit, Peanut.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
When I found out, I made sure to give Peanut
extra treats and belly rubs, and I probably let her
get into the trash for an extra three seconds before
taking it away. I lost Peanut last year. She was
sixteen years old. She was my absolute best friend from
the moment she came into my life as a puppy
when I was thirteen, and she never left my side.
(22:01):
Stay sexy and let your dog bite the pedophile's leg tattoo, Danielle.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
That's right, Oh my god, that's amazing. But dogs have
better instinct than we do.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Like, yes, they do.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
We just need to trust that and not apologize for that. Right.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well, and also any normal person, Yeah, like the idea
that a dog's growling at you, so you're going to
just bait the dog. There's only one way that.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Goes Yeah, and there's only one kind of person who
does that. Yeah, and they deserve to get bit, yeah
on their tattoo.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Wow, that was a great one, a great batch. Thank
you guys for setting those in. Please send more in
any kind you want.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Any kind of trash story of any kind we want
to hear of course, hero dog stories, of course, hero
cat stories. Yeah, hero kokatoo, whatever you.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Want, hero grandma, hero grandpa.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
We love it all.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, stay sexy and don't get murdered. Good guy, Elvis,
do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Our senior producers are Aleahundra Keck, and Molly Smith.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Our editor is Aristotle las Veda.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
This episode was mixed by Leonis Kolacci.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Com and follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And now you can watch us on Exactly Rights YouTube page.
And while you're there, please like and subscribe. Yi bye
bye
I say hello, and welcome to my favorite murder, the
minisode where we read you your stories. You're gonna love it.
Watch and listen. Now as Georgia does it.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'll go first. Yes, this is called I said, I'm
not going to read you this. Nope, it's about a sister. Okay, Hi, Hi,
So I'm still feeling guilty about this, but my sister
didn't die few However, someone did.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
This is quite a start to an email.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Yeah, okay. So I'm at an airport in Tucson, Arizona,
my hometown, but this isn't my hometown murder. This older
man approaches me while I'm waiting to board. He asked
me about my TSA pre board status. I don't know
how he saw that, but I'm thinking, do you live
under a rock? So we converse. I inform him that
I have this elite boarding status because I haven't brought
(01:04):
a bomb onto the airplane or murdered anyone. I tell
him he can get one for just eighty dollars. This
will be funny. Later, I ask him where he's traveling
to Santa Barbara. Ooh fancy, I respond, I ask what
he does for a living mind? You, I'm married and
not interested. But my sister is single, a former sex
worker with no prospects, and is looking for someone to
take care of her. So I'm trying to help.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Yes get in there, and he.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Tells me he's a lawyer. He proceeds to inform me
that he went to school with King Charles and that
Ralph Nader was his mentor. I ask him how many
cases he's won, and he says I've never lost a case.
I'm thinking this might be a good catch for my sister.
I get his number, text my sister for permission to share,
and they eventually meet via text. I love this. This
(01:48):
is so me. I try to fucking set every person up,
even though I'm not.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Good at it. Is anybody good at it?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
No, it's not because it's not good. Okay. He tells
her he was married, but he's a widower, has two
children that he's so proud of, but he doesn't have
much of a relationship, but doesn't elaborate on this. They
do the texting and talking for about a month until
they finally agreed to meet. My sister lives in La Joya.
He takes the train down from Santa Barbara and it's
on she meets him at the station. He wants a
(02:17):
kiss and she reciprocates, but feels a very negative vibe.
Immediate kisses creepy. They go on to have a meal
together that he doesn't pay for and that says really,
and they end the evening with him going to his
hotel room and my sister going back to her apartment.
The next day, they enjoy Lahoya together and do la
joya things It says, sea lions and shopping. I'm assuming,
(02:40):
and are starting to really enjoy the relationship they're forming,
But the evening ends with each in their own beds,
much to his chagrin. This happens to be his birthday weekend,
and she had arranged cake and champagne and small gifts
for the next day, so they celebrate, but he has
something he needs to tell her. Apparently he just got
out of prison a year prior after serving twenty five
(03:03):
years for all caps murdering his wife. Oh no, they
were going through a divorce and he was moving out
of their house when he killed her. He claimed she
fell on the knives he was carrying out. No no, no,
no no, they were all of the knives up position
question mark, and that it was also self defense because
she tried to kill him. Question Mark. Their seven year
(03:26):
old son heard his mother pleading for her life and
his father responding, you should have thought about that before
you decided to divorce me.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
He the son testified to that, and that's what got
his father put away for twenty five years to life.
He didn't get out until he served the entire twenty
five years, so he apparently was not a model inmate.
The fucked up part is that my sister was still
willing to believe it was self defense until I dug
up this article and made her read it. So she
did and realized she had fallen for a murderous narcissist,
(03:58):
as desperate women sometimes do. She eventually drove him back
to the train station, pretending that all was well, and
when he boarded the train, she immediately blocked all his
contact info. I hope we can eventually laugh about this,
but we're not there yet. No SSDGM cheers from the
ie Tanya she set her. The subject line is I
(04:19):
set my sister up with a murderer.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah, and also that god, it's so hard. I mean
I was gonna say these days, but I think it
just always is hard where it's like you go through
some shit in life, you finally meet somebody and you're like, oh,
I think i'd kind of given up on this now
meeting this person. Wait, we're kind of clicking. Wait, it's
like the vibe is wrong, but wait, just give him
another chance. Like yeah, It's like by the time she's like, hey, wait,
(04:44):
her sister's like, hey, hold on, this is a mistake.
She's like, no, I got a fight for the man
I love.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's like, no, dude, yeah, maybe this connection's hard to find.
Oh my god. It's just we're also never allowed to
set anyone up ever again.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
If that happens, what women have to consider truly.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Truly a man ever considered that on a date before.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Okay, maybe we'll change it up a little bit with
this email.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Please.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
This subject line reads and I quote don't read the
subject line it'll give it away. And then in parentheses
it says trash kid story. All right, So it just
starts the year nineteen ninety four. We open on the
interior of the Merritt Square mall on the eastern coast
of Florida. The smells from Barney's Coffee Sparrow and China
(05:32):
walk mingle in the air. Oh my god, the mall
in ninety four Powerful.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Powerful, take me back in Florida of all places.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Yeah, where the smells are going to hang in that
air because the air is dense and thick. Through a
sea of acid washed denim wearing teenagers, we see a
Puerto Rican man in his mid sixties leading an adorable
and clearly precocious child through the crowd by the hand,
a normal scene by all accounts, until the duo walks
past store selling bespoke wooden toys of all kinds. The
(06:04):
child tugs away from the man, trying to enter this
clearly magical store and bathe in the majesty of overpriced
rocking horses. But the man begins walking faster and pulls
the child along, entering birdines. Have you heard of that?
M I think it's a department store? Birdines, b u
r di nes. Their child begins to cry and scream,
(06:26):
begging for his mother and to go home, drawing the
attention of two old biddies who clearly sit next to
each other under hair dryers on a weekly basis, And
then in parentheses it says love them, Yes, they follow
the man and the child, eventually catching up to them
and demanding that the man allow them to take the
child back inside and find his mother, or they will
call the police. Oh no, no, no, no no, this
(06:49):
is my grandson. We're late to pick up my wife
from her hair appointment, so I wouldn't let him go
into the toy store. That's all in quotes. The man
pulls out a brown wallet, and a cascade of family
photos descends towards the ground. Remember those, Oh my god,
like the Accordion photo.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Holders in your wallet.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Yes, one picture clearly shows the man with a beautiful
older woman and a much younger woman holding the child
clearly his mother. Okay. The women apologize profusely and begin
cooing over how cute the child is. Just look at
those eyes in those chubby cheeks. He's exactly the kind
of kid they snatch. And then it says in Parentes's
actual quote, the women turn and leave, and the man
(07:30):
gets the child safely secured in the back seat of
the white Ford Taurus before driving away. And that's the
story of how I almost got my grandfather arrested. Stay
sexy and maybe just let the kid ride the rocking horse.
For two minutes, so you don't almost end up in prison. JK.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
He him, Oh my god, I want my mommy. I
want to go home.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I want to go home. You're not my daddy.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
And it's like, yeh, because I'm the grandpa.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yes, you're not my daddy.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I mean. Good for those biddies, right, Like that's a
hard thing. You don't mind your business in the situation
like that.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
In nineteen ninety four, ohah G murders, Oh G. They
were like, no, you will not be going anywhere with children. Yeah.
What I like to think of is those women followed
cases like Adam Walsh where they're actually happened. No one's
getting taken out of them all today, no talrying child
on our watch.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Oh my god. They are like little tiny superheroes with
shampoo sets. Oh god, I love them. That's someone's grandma
who listens like it.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I know. JK. You're a hero for sending that in
And basically you're the trash kid you just told us about.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I have a trash kid story too. Okay, it's called
I convinced my little brother that my mom was a murderer.
A load of two of my favorite people and everyone
on your team who helps make MFM happen. I was
a trash kid. Overall, I was pretty good, but I
loved to lie. I was also an only child until
(09:00):
I was seven, and the first grandchild, and I spent
all day every day at my grandma's house when my
mom was at work, so I was spoiled and not
thrilled when my mom eventually had my two little brothers,
I fucking bet you gotta have them earlier. They're gonna
resent them.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You know, you're just messing with a child's sense of reality,
where it's like, oh, guess what you're now the older
I would assume, sister.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah, less important. Now they're either great at it or terrible.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
At it, right, and you're not. Like Grandma doesn't only
give you that look, now, she gives it to these
two losers who just got here. Like what she just.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Fucking showed up late at the party. Why are they
getting the fucking best piece of cake? Okay, to preface
the story, all of us have names that start with A.
Both of my brothers were picky eaters, and dinner was
a battle every day. One day, my mom was particularly
frustrated that they would not eat their dinner when she
left the room, I looked at the older of my brothers,
the youngest was a toddler at the time, and told him,
(09:56):
you might want to eat that. Andrew used to be
a picky eater too. He looked at me and says,
who's Andrew, to which I reply, he was our brother
until he wouldn't eat his dinner one day and Mom
snapped and killed him. Oh no, of course he didn't
believe me, so there was some back and forth over
the next few minutes about the details how old he was,
(10:17):
and why are there no pictures of him? Why do
we never talk about him, all of which I was
able to explain away while looking back and forth and whispering,
because obviously I wouldn't want my mom to hear me
revealing her deepest, darkest secret.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
God.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
When my mom came back into the kitchen, my brother
immediately asked her who Andrew was. Keep in mind she
was already irritated with us and was not in the
mood to be asked stupid questions like did you have
a son named Andrew who you murdered because he wouldn't
eat his dinner? She exasperatedly said, what the fuck are
you talking about and I replied, it's time to come clean, mom.
(10:50):
I told him everything cut to me now arguing with
my mom about whether she killed her made up son
or not. This exchange eventually ended with her giving up
and saying, yeah, I guess I did. Now, please just
eat your dinner. I considered it a win. Now that
we are adults and I have a son of my own,
I understand why she was quote crazy, and I fully
(11:13):
expect karmic retribution. To this day. My mom gets mad,
My brother and I look at each other with horror
fried expressions and say Andrew, which only infuriates her more.
Stay sexy and eat your vegetables, Ashley. I'm cracking over
it to get hilarious because it's so something my fucking
brother would have done. Yes, both my siblings would have
(11:34):
done to me for sure.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Well, first of all, I love that Ashley admits she
loved lying, which I think is a very human thing,
but not many people can admit it. But it is
like there is a thing to that where it's just like,
watch what I'm going to conjure up out of.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Look at the chaos I can make just by thinking
of something and saying it out loud yes.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
And then convincing a child of it hilarious.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And then the mom playing mom beings so exhausted, so
she's like, yes, okay, if that gets you to eat
your fucking dinner.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Yes, fine, just eat your chicken pop pie, you fool
good god.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
The subject line of this email is my mom's old
timey shootout story and then it just starts okay, so
this is a crazy one. I don't know if you
have asked for this shootout stories doesn't matter. I mean
it does not at this point, but I know you
need it in your knowledge base. I couldn't make this
hill billy shit up if I tried. This is my
mom's story. She lived in Gary, Indiana until she was twelve,
(12:32):
when her dad purchased a large farm about an hour's
south to bring his family of thirteen kids. Woo yeah,
and then it says yes thirteen in all caps. Flash
forward a few years to nineteen seventy three. It went
down at my uncle Mike's wedding reception on the farm.
After the ceremony, when the bride and groom have already left,
but the party kept going, these random relatives of the
(12:54):
bride started causing trouble. They were taking booze, beer, etc.
Basically trying to hijack the whole and party. My grandmother
let them know that they were welcome to party at
the farm, but they couldn't take the party home, and
they called her a bit and then dot dot Oh
no no no in lowercase, oh no, no no. My uncles
(13:16):
and grandfather basically told these assholes to fuck right off
and kick them out. You can do that sort of
thing when you have seven sons as backup. Yeah, they left,
but they weren't done. No, we're getting into it later.
Someone called the house with a warning and then it
says quotes there are people parking vans at the grain
elevator down the road and they're all getting out with
(13:38):
weapons headed for your house. Oh shit, end quote. These
assholes had parked away from the house so they wouldn't
be seen, then started walking up to the property. They
actually started all caps shooting at the house.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
What the fuck.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
My family called the cops, while my uncles caught a
few of them and kicked their assins. So the police
finally arrived and took them all away. But of course,
in the small town world, good old boys, the cops
just took them into town and told them to go home, so,
of course, all caps they came back.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Later that same day they returned with more guns and
started driving through the yard, shooting at the house and
tossing molotov cocktails. What the fuck these are your in laws?
This is your new family.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
There's like people in there.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Children, it's a wedding.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
What are you wedding celebration? What level of alcoholism is
this moonshine? You know it's it's moight fucking hoot and nanny.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
One dumbass even accidentally shot his own truck in the process.
The state police finally showed up to the next day.
My grandpa was so furious he told them if those
motherfuckers show up again, I'm getting my back ho and
they'll all disappeared.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
It's a more Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
The cop was like, sir, you can't do that, but
Grandpa was about a steel worker who had zero fox
left to give. Then people started calling to warn my
family that those psychos were planning to come back and
burn the house down while everyone was sleeping. So about
thirty two hours this is epic. About thirty two hours
after the initial incident, my mom and family had eight
(15:17):
people at the house, all armed and waiting. This reminds
me of the second season of Fargo.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Totally.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
It's totally cool Jean Smart is running that mafia family. Yes,
my mom gathered all the little kids and hid them
in the staircase, the most internal place in the house.
I guess I'm like under the staircase seller maybe yeah,
she figured someone would have to shoot through multiple walls
to get to them. There. Yep, my sweet mom in
(15:44):
an actual fucking shootout. And in parentheses it says side note,
could nobody get rid of the kids in thirty two hours?
I mean, I know childcare is rough, but damn. And
then it says, thankfully the attackers never showed up again,
stay sexy and just skip the nineteen seventy farmhouse wedding reception.
Love you ladies and the whole MFM crew jc B.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Couldn't the bride like just put a word out to
her family, like, yo.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Hi, can I talk to my mother in law for
a second? Can calmer heads prevail here? This seems a
little wild? Oh my god, isn't that nuts?
Speaker 2 (16:19):
That's fucking nuts? Okay, My last one is a hero
trash cat nice. Maybe I only picked it because the
cat's name is Moses, which is my cat's name. Oh yeah,
my Mo. But no, it's a good one. I love.
I would like to tell you about my wonderful trash
(16:40):
cat who became our family's hero, Moses. I grew up
with Moses the cat as my little brother. And when
I say he was my brother, he really did, cause
mayhem like he was a younger sibling. And that's my mo.
He is the fucking and then he does this. He
started out as an indoor cat, but Moses had other plans.
Mo does this all the time. He would regularly run
(17:01):
full speed at the fly screen door and launch onto them,
clinging with every last fiber of his being.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
And then proceed to scream, Yeah, fucking does that because
he wants out so bad.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, So my mom gave in and let him become free.
Once he gained his freedom, he was prone to stealing
the neighbors underwear from their washing lines, making his way
up the most fragile trees which he could not get
down from, and screaming for us to help him, and
bringing live whipsnakes to our front door. Oh oh, FYI
whipsnakes are known to be extremely dangerous to children, and
(17:35):
our family had three of those. He really was a menace,
but one night he gained hero title. This is a
story from my mom's perspective. As she slept soundly, she
suddenly woke up to Moses absolutely howling. At three am.
She went out to see what the issue was and
noticed a bright red glow coming from the lounge room.
(17:55):
As she looked out the window, she saw that the
fence just a foot away from our house was complete
on fire. Moses was sitting inside, looking out for the
window and loudly crying. She called the fire brigade and
the fence was put out, but the firefighters said that
if they had waited ten more minutes, both our house
and the neighbor's house would have been set ablaze. Even worse,
we had just taken out our batteries from our smoke
(18:18):
detectors due to how often we burnt food. Don't fucking
do that. Just deal with the fucking get a fan,
Got a fan?
Speaker 1 (18:29):
It is the great solution, nough where it's like, I'm
very good all the time, but let's just not deal
with that.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
You know what the solution is not to learn how
to cook and not to get a fan. No, so
like if he hadn't been their fire alarm, they wouldn't
have had one. Yeah, period, yep. Well never know how
many lives Moses saved that night, but after that we
let him do whatever he wanted.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Yes, lipsnakes for everyone.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
That's right. Moses sadly passed away last year, but it
hasn't really sunk in that he has gone because he
was outside so often, and so I like to think
that he's still wandering around catching snakes and stealing bras
he is.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
He iss.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yes, my god, thank you for being incredible people. Sixteen
year old me, thanks you for getting me through difficult
school years. My god, Oh love your work. Sophie from Australia,
Oh Aralia, thank you and think thanks Moses, good boy.
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Moses is a legend. Yeah, globally global legend. A global legend,
not a local hero. Okay, well it's perfect setup because
I have a dog story, a trash dog story, I
tell you great. This subject line is always trust your
dog's intuition and says hello friends, let's do this email thing.
When I was about twenty one, I was visiting my
(19:47):
parents and brought my dog along with me, Peanut. I
don't know why I've bit The name Peanut for a
dog makes me laugh so hard every time.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
It's cute.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Peanut was a crusty white dog who loved eat, trash
and pee in the house, but she loved me more
than anything, and I couldn't have asked for a better friend.
As I was leaving, my dad and a neighbor were
hanging out in the garage. Peanut was on her leash
walking out with me, but immediately started growling at the
neighbor Let's call him Ka. Kay was in his forties
and one of those guys who still acted like some
(20:19):
sort of d bag college dude. Kay started taunting Peanut.
He pretended to charge after me and grabbed my arm
and started to shake me. He was laughing and thought
it was funny that Peanut was growling and barking at him,
until Peanut attacked his leg to protect me. Helliah, Peanut
got a couple good bites in before I pulled her away.
(20:41):
She had never bitten anyone before, so I was shocked.
But let's be real, this was Kay's fault for taunting
a growling dog, So I fucked politeness and didn't apologize good.
I continued on my way, picked up Peanut and left.
My mom called me after I left, saying that I
should come back and apologize to Kay. Kay's leg covered
in tattoos and peanuts bite cut through his skin, and
(21:03):
he is very upset about it because once healed his quote,
tattoos would be ruined.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
Okay, dumb asked, nobody gives a.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Shit, please, he says, blah blah blah. I did not
go back to apologize, and I told my mom maybe
he should learn how to behave around animals. And then
it just says, well, well, well. Fast forward a few
months and Kay had been arrested for child molesting. I
don't know the whole story, but multiple twelve and thirteen
year old girls had come forward saying that Kay had
(21:33):
been sexually abusing them. I don't know who these girls
are or how he knew them, but he ended up
going to jail.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Holy shit, Peanut.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
When I found out, I made sure to give Peanut
extra treats and belly rubs, and I probably let her
get into the trash for an extra three seconds before
taking it away. I lost Peanut last year. She was
sixteen years old. She was my absolute best friend from
the moment she came into my life as a puppy
when I was thirteen, and she never left my side.
(22:01):
Stay sexy and let your dog bite the pedophile's leg tattoo, Danielle.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
That's right, Oh my god, that's amazing. But dogs have
better instinct than we do.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Like, yes, they do.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
We just need to trust that and not apologize for that. Right.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
Well, and also any normal person, Yeah, like the idea
that a dog's growling at you, so you're going to
just bait the dog. There's only one way that.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Goes Yeah, and there's only one kind of person who
does that. Yeah, and they deserve to get bit, yeah
on their tattoo.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Wow, that was a great one, a great batch. Thank
you guys for setting those in. Please send more in
any kind you want.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Any kind of trash story of any kind we want
to hear of course, hero dog stories, of course, hero
cat stories. Yeah, hero kokatoo, whatever you.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Want, hero grandma, hero grandpa.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
We love it all.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, stay sexy and don't get murdered. Good guy, Elvis,
do you want a cookie?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Our senior producers are Aleahundra Keck, and Molly Smith.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Our editor is Aristotle las Veda.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
This episode was mixed by Leonis Kolacci.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Com and follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
And now you can watch us on Exactly Rights YouTube page.
And while you're there, please like and subscribe. Yi bye
bye
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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