June 16, 2025 • 29 mins
This week’s hometowns include historical knowledge and an emu trying to pants grandma.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Hello Ella, and welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's my favorite murder the Mini. So we read you
your stories.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Do you want to hear one first? This is an
eighties latchkey kids story and it just goes right into it.
It says, I just listened to Gillian's latchkey kid story,
and I have one of my own. As a latchkey kid,
I was always reminded to never answer the door for anyone.
One day, while my parents were out, one was at work,
the other was car shopping. I was home alone when
(00:43):
some men came to the door and started knocking. I
looked out my curtain saw a car I didn't recognize
and knew I shouldn't answer the door. The knocking grew
louder and louder and became intense banging, until they finally
just broke the door down. I was, of course, terrified
and not sure what to do. I could hear them
downstairs rifling through things, and when I heard them start
(01:04):
to come up the stairs, I quickly hid under the bed.
One of them came in my room, and I don't
really know why he came to my bedside, but I
was sure the thunderous sound of my heart beating when
that man's dirty steel toed boots were standing inches from
my face would give me away. He finally left my room,
and my dumb brain said, you should try to see
(01:25):
what he looks like for the police. So I crept
onto my bed as he was going the opposite direction
down the hall and rounded the corner to the stairs.
How he did not see me, I don't know, and
I wasn't able to get a good look at his
facial features either. I crawled back under the bed and
waited for them to leave. Finally they left, and because
call nine to one in one in an emergency had
(01:47):
not yet been drilled into my brain, I called the neighbor,
who then called the police. You would think this was
bad enough, but upon my return to school, I got
the dreaded take this to the office for me directive,
and I knew full wellth that my classmates were being
talked to about me and the incident. And then in parentheses,
it just says why did schools do this kind of bullshit? Anyway?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
That's weird.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It says, thank you Butte Creek Elementary School for giving
my tormentors ammunition that made my life hell from that moment.
On the next line, says I was eleven. I struggled
with intense nightmares for twenty plus years until I started
letting my dogs sleep with me. And you would be
surprised by the number of grown ass adults who to
this day fucking asked me about it as if we
(02:31):
were discussing the weather.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I'm fifty three now and have lived my life in
constant fear for my safety, and I tell everyone I
know to please call first, because an unexpected knock at
the doors throws my heart straight into my throat. Also,
about ten years ago, one of my biggest tormentors friended
me on Facebook. I accepted, trying to let bygones be bygones,
and then one day I was like, fuck that shit,
and I unfriended him. He still occasionally tried to friend
(02:56):
me before blocking with something we thought about on the regular.
And that's my terrifying latchkey kids story. I'm just out
here living my life, always on the edge, but also
trying to stay sexy and not get murdered.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh elsa man, that stuff sticks with you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I mean not to assume anything else like cauld you
and I know that's not your whole life story. I
hope you get into therapy. Yeah, that's something you should
definitely talk to somebody about.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Your body keeps the score and you can work it out.
This is called trash cat story. Hello, ladies, I finally
thought of a good one. I must read.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Really. When I was twelve years old, my mom brought
home two little kittens.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
They were roughly three months old, and they quickly became
my whole entire life. That's right, I became a full
blown cat lady at the age of twelve. The years
passed and we lost one of the kittens around age six.
The remaining cat was the calmer of the two. Her
name was Penny. She was small, tan and gray and
very quiet. I took her to live with me when
I was about twenty years old and she was eight.
(03:55):
She stuck with me through the birth of three boys,
adopting a beagle puppy, a shitty marriage and divorce, and
bringing home another stray kitten when Penny was around sixteen
years old, having been the solo cat for the last
ten years of her life. She hated that kitten with
every fiber of her being and often went into hiding
in different parts of the.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
House to escape him.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Oh mean, when Penny was nineteen years old. I had
just dropped the boys off with their father for his
weekend and came back home to enjoy a quiet night.
I had been home for around an hour when I
went to the back of the house to start a
load of laundry. Coming back into the living room, I
was suddenly hit with an eye stinging, nose burning, wall
of chemical burning smell that I thought was coming from
the open windows in the kitchen. I walked through the kitchen,
(04:37):
and when I got to the front of the house,
I realized the smell was coming from inside the house somewhere.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Panicking, I scooped up.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
The other cat, Albie and the beagle Rosy, and looked
around for Penny. Not seeing her immediately, I took the
two pets outside in my car and locked them in.
I looked around the outside of the house and saw
no smoke, but didn't dare go back inside yet. I
called my mom to see if she would know what
the smell was since she had lived there previously. She
told me to call the gas company. The gas company
shows up with a fire truck in tow. They use
(05:04):
their magic gas sensing wants to look around the outside
of the house, nothing toxic. They go inside, nothing toxic,
but they also smell the smell and want a stay
to help identify where it can be coming from.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
So a team consisting of.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Me, three firefighters, and two gas company men start looking
in the front of the house, where the smell is strongest.
When out of nowhere, Penny pokes her little gray head
out of the cabinet to see what all the fuss
is about. I scoop her up when the smell hits
me like a load of bricks.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
It was Penny.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
She gets rayed by a scout uh uh.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
In an act of what I'm calling cat dementia. Penny
walked across the counters when I was out of the
kitchen and all caps set her tail on fire. Oh
with the candle I had lit on the counter when
I got home. The smell was burnt hair and some
streaks of burnt paint on the kitchen wall. When she
was running away from the fire, the singe part hadn't
(05:54):
reached down to her skin, and she was perfectly fine. I,
on the other hand, had to explain to the five
men in my house that it was my cat and
there was no serious danger. I still can't totally look
all this local firemen in the face when I see
some of them in school drop offline. Penny lived out
of two and a half years and passed away shortly
before her twenty second birthday last November.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
She was truly a.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Part of me that I had to learn how to
live without. The joint comfort she brought to me and
my children, who had never known a life without her,
is truly irreplaceable.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Keep doing what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
It has made a world of difference for people who
once felt out of place for loving them.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
A cop lots of love. Sarah, Oh, Katy's tail on fire.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I mean it's very kind of like sweet, and of
course the shy cat gets her cat right tails set
on fire. But I would say you can go right
up to those firemen and the pickup line because you
just having some kind of cat problem is the best
kind of call of firemen could go on. They love it,
they think it's funny. It's something to talk about. Who
(06:52):
caress hurt? No one's jumping off a roof to escape. Yeah,
it's it's best case scenario. I would say with the
kinds of things that fireman c they're probably not judging
the cat thing, I was afraid that cat was going
to be dead somewhere, and I'm like, well, this sucks.
I'm sad about Fanny. No, okay, this says historical hometown.
(07:13):
Hello Georgia, Karen and the ERM team, Greetings from Quincy
pronounced Quincy by the locals, Massachusetts, hometown of John and
John Quincy Adams. I am a third grade teacher in Quincy,
and our social studies curriculum is all about Massachusetts history.
My typical audience is the eight to nine year old
non murdery no market, so I'm hoping to share my
(07:34):
historical knowledge with my fellow murdery nos. Please do you've
discussed John Adams and John Quincy Adams, but I would
be remiss not to acknowledge Abigail Adams. It says Abigail
was husband to John, but we think they mean ye
wife obviously mother to John Quincy. And if we're talking
founding fathers, we need to talk founding mothers. While the
men of the Revolution, who've been extensively written about in
(07:56):
our country's history shocking, we're fighting battles, writing declarations and
signing constitutions that women were making contributions of their own,
although their stories aren't often told. Take Deborah Sampson, Massachusetts
state heroine. When women were forbidden from fighting in battle,
Deborah disguised herself as a man, fought, and even dug
(08:17):
a musket ball out of her leg with a knife
to avoid medical attention that might out her identity.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Total badass. I just read about that woman. Really, Yes,
she was as soldier, undercovered the entire time, and then
finally had to go to the hospital. I believe that's
when they were found out. There's Phyllis Wheatley. As a girl,
Phyllis was taken from her family in Africa and sold
as a slave. Her birth name is unknown. The name
Phyllis Wheatley quote unquote was given to her. Phyllis was
(08:45):
taught to read and write by the family that enslaved her.
A rarity to say the least, and despite her horrific circumstances,
she emerged as a prolific poet, penning works about the
importance of freedom for all. Many of her works were published,
making her the first public African American poet.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Circling back to Abigail, while John was traveling for America's independence,
Abigail Adams was at home, tending to the farm and
her children alone, under constant threat of en danger of
the British during their time apart. She and John are
well known for writing letters to one another, many in
which Abigail offered advice and guidance to John during the Revolution.
(09:22):
Most famously, she encouraged him to remember the ladies, imploring
him to support women too, and the need to provide
education to both boys and girls. Many schools for girls
opened after the Revolution. Abigail Adams was an og feminist.
Oh yeah, I hope you enjoyed my often useless historical knowledge.
I think it could be of great use to us
(09:43):
here on this podcast. Thank you for being my companions
on my long commute home while I decompress from the
chaos that is teaching in America right now. God, stay strong, teachers,
keep fighting the good fight. You're doing amazing. Back at
you from Georgia, and I stay sexy and remember the ladies.
Put tray ps A quick maray to all the teachers. Oh,
I didn't see that. This job has always been difficult,
(10:05):
but it has become damn near impossible in recent years.
Keep digging deep, stay true to your authentic self and
purpose and don't forget to take care of you. Wow. Yeah,
that's good advice.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
That was a great letter. Yeah, good job.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Third grade history teacher is going to come in and
actually provide us something knowledge.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
We eat it. Yeah, we'll take it.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
This is seven year old, three days and a broken arm. Hello,
Queens of the macab. That's weird that macob.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yes, that's both.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
That's the adjective of guess. So our producer Molly's just
writing all of these. She's like, Georgia will like this.
It's about a cat named Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
It says, Hello, Queens of the Macob, Cats of cookies
and escape artist dogs. It was about this time of
year when I was seven years old and writing my
quad four wheeler to some people. Basically, it's a motorized
four wheeled thing that a seven year old probably shouldn't
have been writing on her own. But I was rinning
in my large backyard when my dad and younger sister
got fishing poles ready to go up to a local
(11:04):
pond for some after dinner fishing. When I did the
only thing my dad told me not to do. He
told me to go fast on straightaway and slow on turns. Well,
I did not slow down on the turn and the
quad ended up on two wheels and I fell off,
flipping the quad. I remember rolling out of the way
to avoid getting crushed, but I was seven, so who
the hell knows?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I screamed.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
My dad came running, stopped the runaway quad, and then
helped me get up. My left arm hurt like which
one cost twenty five hundred dollars. My arm hurt like hell,
So he took me inside. My mom got me a
water bottle for my arm and tried to calm me
down because naturally I was crying and freaking out. My
mom told me it would be sore for the next
(11:46):
few days. But the next morning I couldn't lift it
above my shoulder. My mom had to all caps force
my arm above my head to put on my shirt,
and I was in tears so.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Like her shoulders dislocated, like, but we got to get
this shirt on.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, this is the only way to get shirt on.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
It has to be pull over the head shirt.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I went to school a all caps karate class that night,
and then and then school the next day. When I
came out of school Friday, it says, the wreck happened
on a Wednesday. My pants were not zipped up or buttoned,
and I was dragging my rowing backpack trying to clutch
my arm.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Very pathetic, So pathetic.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
A doctor's office, a hospital three hours later, and questions
that I now realized I needed to answer because people
thought a seven year old was being abused and we
found out I had a broken arm.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah you did, Yeah you did.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
I am now twenty one years old, and to this day,
that is still the only bone I've ever broken. And
I actually punch harder with that arm now bionic.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Arm, in what scenario? Do you know that?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I know?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
That's something we should all know. Which which time do
punch harder with? We should all know?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
And what remember when you used to punch with that arm?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
How different is it now that you when you're punching right?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Maybe they bloaded her up with something titanium. I also
have this kick ass story to freak my friends out.
I would like to clarify that my parents are amazing
people and very supportive, and I believe this incident has
helped me to become a tougher human being overall.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
You have to say that to yourself, don't you.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
There's no other way.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
The other option is so sad.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Thank you ladies for all you do. Stay sexy, and
if your seven year old falls off her squad, get
her to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Or don't because it'll make her tough, right Brit, Britt, Britt,
you're probably as tough as nails.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It's like a positive, you know, cheery person who will
also fight for you.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
She's like, BRIT's like, get her done. She's like, look,
put your arms up. Even when you have a dislocated shoulder,
put your Ringer T shirt.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
On and jam that farm up over your ead if
it's really swollen and throbbing and it hurts to move it.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
All for the answers karate. Did you hear about the
thirteen year old a guy tried to grab her? It
was in Carmel and she fucking used jiu jitsu on
him and broke his ankle.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
He was like hey, blah blah blah, and she was like,
I don't need to be helping you. And then you
reached out and rod dur and she was just like,
jiu jitsu, move, jiu jitsu.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Mo amazing.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
We need we all need to learn jiu jitsu. Yeah, wow,
so talk about it.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Okay. Here's my last one. It says fistfight at a
first birthday party, and then in parentheses it says, spicy
family drama. That's what we're looking for. Hello, Karen, Georgia, Kitties,
puppies and the entire exactly right crew. Longtime listener, second
time writer. Though, this is a much better story, So
I'm glad you guys never read the first one.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
See.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
We know in many sub four eighteen you ask for
family drama stories. Boy, do I have a good story
for you. Some context. My grandfather was not a good guy.
He was a firefighter who faked an injury and went
out on disability for the remainder of his career. He
was also abusive towards my grandmother, mother, and uncles. My
grandma divorced him in the seventies, and my mother, a loud,
(14:57):
opinionated Brooklyn Italian, stopped speaking to him when she was
a teenager. Suffice it to say, we all had no
relationship with the man, and I didn't know him at all.
Fast forward to January two thousand and two. I am
freshly four years old and the family has gathered to
celebrate my cousin, Stephen's first birthday. My uncle Steve, Stephen's dad,
obviously had an icy relationship with his father, but they're
(15:18):
still on speaking terms at this point. Being that I
was only four at the time, I have no memory
of the following incident, but this is what I've been
told happened. My grandfather's new wife was making a comment
about something and was trying to use the word connoisseur. However,
it sounds like me, It sounds like me.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
However, she mispronounced the word and instead said conna sewer,
which is fine, fine, that's a fun accent. My grandmother
never wanted to hold her judgment or tongue when it's
involving someone she does not have the highest opinion of,
turns around and very loudly says conno sewer. This one
silly comment led to my grandfather and grandmother exchanging some
(15:58):
choice words. Began to get a little heated, which led
my uncle Frank, grandma's brother, leaping across the table and
punching my grandfather in the face. A fistfight between two
men commenced. I don't know exactly what happened next, I'd
imagine they were broken up and maybe the police were called,
but I do know that this was the final nail
in the coffin, effectively ending the relationship between Uncle Steve
(16:21):
and my grandfather, which explains why my brother, cousins and
I never even knew the man. My mother will often say,
I'm surprised you don't remember that, ma'am. I was four.
There are many more wild family moments connected to the
story and the nonsense of my grandfather in general, like
whenever my cousins and I come across the word connoisseur,
which surprises me happens a lot more than you'd think.
(16:41):
We always give each other a knowing look and exclaim
Kano's sewer like the assholes we are. Or the time
I was watching the old school game show Card Sharks
with my grandma.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I love that game.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That sentence, I was watching Card Sharks with my grandma
as like the source of all great memories. Crazy, it's
such a good game it is. The host introduces ten
married women and says, how many of these women claim
that they've been in love with another man besides their
husband's scandalous My grandma says, I think I've been in
love with three men, none of them or my husband.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Ooh, Grandma Spicy.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I practically fell on the floor laughing the icing on
the cake. A few days after this, we were informed
of my grandfather's passing. True comedic irony. My sweet uncle Frank,
the unsung hero of this story, lost his battle with
Alzheimer's in twenty twenty four. He was a New York
City firefighter for thirty years and the grandfather I never had.
He was an incredible man and we all miss him
so much, but we know he's always with us, visiting
(17:37):
us in the form of cardinals and flickering lights. He
was and remains the best. Stay sexy and don't get
into a fist fight at a child's birthday party, Emily.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
There is nothing lassier than a fist fight at a
child's birthday party.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
How about a fist fight at a wedding. Oh well,
my family did that a couple times.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Oooh Docramento, okay, an EMU tried to pants my grandma.
Hello MFM Day one listener, something if time writer. The
first time I heard your voices, I was in the
back of a bush taxi in the middle of rule
Burkina Faso, where I was serving.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
With the Peace Corps.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Since I've become an immigration attorney and I'm prepping for
my wedding next month, You've been with me every step
of the way.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Thank you, Wow, thank you well.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Listening to Georgia's excellent EMU Wars episode, I remember the
time I very gallantly did not stand up to an EMO.
When I was ten years old, my family moved to Australia.
I was fascinated by all the animal interactions. Early on,
I woke up for school and walked out into the
dining room to just see my dad in his underwear
leaping from wall to wall with a shoe box, trying
(18:43):
to catch the biggest Huntsman spider I have ever seen.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Have you seen those ones?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
And they're like Harry's.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, it's kind of tyrantially if I'm not mistaken, Yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Honestly don't want to see it.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I won't show you, but I'm going to look it up.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Really show me. Okay, I should know, because.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I wonder if I'm thinking.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Of, oh, they're going behind you right now.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Behind you.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
The legs are long, the legs are so it's also.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Actually, well, I think maybe there's different ones, but this
is not Harry. It's like the tiny version gets in
your bathroom all the time, but it's literally that big.
But when you see it, you go, those legs are
too long.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I can't I can't do spiders.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I'm so sorry because that one was palm size, literally
palm size.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
And then like really like specially.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Long legs, yes, like you like, how are these people
putting them on their hands?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Like long and skinny? Like look at my page right there.
That's how I gripped. That's hard. I gripped my favorites.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Okay, no okay, okay, no more, no more. And that
says it's an image I will never forget.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Me too. Me three.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Around my eleventh birthday, my grandparents Anne and Bill aka
Grammy and Grams came to visit us and we set
off on a number of adventures to show them our
new home. One of the outings was to to Manila
National Preserve, an excellent nature preserve outside of Canberra, where
we were living. We took a picnic and set up
to eat after walking through the Koala Preserve. Oh so manty,
(20:05):
I'll take a kohala in my house, not as any
dayl on the wall.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
They just have a little bit of herpes. That's okay. Yeah,
I don't know. Apparently cool.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Okay for learning a lot Australian.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
I'm your Australian information. You didn't want to know about
Australian hookup.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
As we were starting to eat a couplet, as we
were starting to eat, a couple EMUs. Not as we
were starting to eat a couple of EMUs. As we
were starting to eat a couple EMUs started to approach
our table. We tried to play it cool, but one
of them started to really focus on Grammy. But the
emas just kept getting closer and closer until they were
practically sitting at the table with us. Suddenly, one of
(20:48):
the EMUs start pecking at Grammy's pants. She got up
and started to back away and around the table, and
the EMU followed pecking incessantly at the button of her pants.
The rest of the family started yelling at the emu,
trying to chase it away or trying to quickly pack
up our lunch. Me I ran as quickly as I
could into the car and locked myself inside. That's right,
(21:09):
and watched from afar as a giant EMU chased my
little Grammy around the picnic table, attempting to steal her pants.
Why In the end, the picnic was saved and Grammy's
pants remained intact, all thanks to everyone but me. Cowards
also like locking the door like an emu's just gonna
open the door.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Or if anyone else tries to come and get it's like.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
This, Math you were fast enough.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Stay sexy and don't let the EMU steal your pants. Ruby, Ruby?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Why was it like the color or shiny button? Probably
because those are like I would imagine, EMUs are super
cute fifteen feet away and the second they're within five
feet or scared shit like I think.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Just they're terrifying up close. Yeah, you got the teeth
and the calves and the muscles.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, full on dinosaurs.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Send us your stories about.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
The Australia stories, large spider on any continents.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Sure, definitely, of course, always Emu.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
If you've got a nemus story, If you got an EMU.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Story, we'll take either.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
We like both.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Okay, Hi, we don't usually do horays at the end
of minisodes, but this is a special occasion, so.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
This is honking horays. Presented by Hyundai.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
A right, you want to go first, I'm sure I'll
go first. Tell me one.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
We also have never read these off cards.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
We don't. It's all so exciting.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I've never read anything with this much lipstick on before.
Are you ready? The subject line of this horay is
hooray lighthouse in Maine, edition Great after a devastating divorce
in twenty twenty starts off a little hit are you right?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
OK, We're gonna be fine, let's go.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
We're in the cart. After a devastating divorce in twenty twenty,
I started listening to MFM. In one of the podcasts,
Karen stated that she wanted to quote live alone in
a lighthouse in Maine, end to quote remember that one.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah, that's great, Well.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Karen, after four years of dreaming about what you said,
I've moved to Maine from California and I live about
twenty minutes walking four minutes driving from the Portland Head Lighthouse.
It's beautiful. Hooray for bravery, for finding inspiration anywhere or
just doing what Karen says gratefully. Jill sweet, I mean
(23:19):
a hooray for that.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Hooray. I want to leave to I want to leave
California too.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
That sounds great right this second, this moment, can you
get a horay before you go?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I think I'm in a car. Okay, okay, this is
called no titled. Okay, I have a hooray. My dog
Ripkin finish radiation treatments after six weeks of treatment for sarcoma.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
He was a very brave boy.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
And we listened to your voices on the entire one
and a half hour drive.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Each way to treatment. Oh and that was from KK
Fenwick iree KK. Okay. Yeah, let's so wait.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
That dog's okay, right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Finish radiation after six weeks, so he's good now.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Full hooray, gigantic herect yeah okay. This one is written
by none other than A Shelby.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Are you ready? I love a Shelby.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
So the subject line of this is hoay. It was
an email it says this is Shelby here, but it
is actually doctor Shelby.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Now.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I've been an RN since the nineteen Since the nineteen hundreds,
she said, I currently work as a nursing instructor, teaching
baby nurses how to not kill people. It's very important.
Back in twenty nineteen, I was fired from an awesome
job with shitty upper management. But nevertheless, this change forced
me to look at my path and with my husband's encouragement,
(24:33):
I went back to school. I completed my BSN in
the midst of the pandemic. How did you do anything
in the pandemic? That's can you imagine homework in the pandemic?
Absolutely not, and continue to get my masters as a
nurse practitioner. Man. Fast forward to now, my nineteen year
old daughter is getting pinned graduating with an RN degree,
(24:54):
and she pushed me to get my doctorate in nursing
so we could graduate together. I come from a f
only that has never been to college, and now I
have my doctorate with a daughter that is now an RN.
So huge ray to my badass daughter Meghan being an
RN at nineteen and taking her first job in an
emergency room. Megan doesn't care. She's like, I'm here, first
(25:16):
in line to help people.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I'm jumping in.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
You got a motorcycle, I'll be there. I'm Megan. I've
listened since day one, and you ladies have helped me
through studying and thesis. Can you believe that, no, we
did it? What does that even mean? Thanks? For all
your hours of entertainment. Hooraydio, badass bitches Shelby, Thanks Shelby,
Doctor Shelby, Doctor Shelby, Shelby, you did it anything.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Okay. This one is from YouTube.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
It says, my hooray is that I finally, for the
first time ever, played D and D this week.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
See there's big things, there's smaller things.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
It's all important, means something different to everyone, that's right, right.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I have been wanting the joy of magical role playing
since realizing what D and D is only a year ago.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
And my beautiful coworkers from school I work at Drama
teachers baby.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, join me and my son nine, and we made
my dream come true. It was like disassociating and the
most wonderful way possible.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
And I can't wait to play again.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
So hooray for friends, fantasy and pretending to be a delusional,
wingless dragon.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
The Jane Nester.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Wow, Jane, Jane j The j The Jane Jane Ster,
The Janester, The Janester.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Yeah, Jane, mister, Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I do too.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I always thought to be too late for me to
play Dan D, but I guess not.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I always thought it wouldn't be believable because of the pretending. Sure,
I'd be like, I guess I'm control, and.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Yet you're in a car right now reading.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
This is only This is about as fake as it gets. Okay, ready,
this is also an email that says hooray, but this
has five exclamation points after and it says beautiful ladies,
I've finally found a stable job since completing my BS
small c BSc anyone.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
With a college education Bachelor of Science and Communication.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
But then it says in International Wildlife Biology.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Dang it, we didn't graduate college.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
We don't know these classes. So they did all that
two years ago. And working in the hospitality industry for
the past ten years, I've been craving some sense of stability.
This new job isn't much, but it's providing me with
routine structure and an amazing work life balance, which I
so desperately needed. Does this mean I'm getting old? Maybe,
but I'm here for it. I can't wait to go
(27:37):
to bed early. Busy from Wales. And then it says, PS,
be nice to your waiters, they're dead inside, that's true.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, and your podcasters.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, that's pretty much everybody.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Be nice? Yeah, be nice.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
This one is an email and it says hello, exactly right, folks,
Karen and Georgia. My name is Aarin. I've been listening
to MFM since high school along with my mom.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Shout out Mare Margo.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I'm graduating from law school as one of the top
students in my class.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Law school sucks, but it's in my past now.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
To think that you guys have kept me sane and
entertained since I was in high school and now I'm
almost a lawyer is insane. Hope it doesn't make you
feel too old.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
It does.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
And for a bonus, my cat Yuzu, who has survived
law school with me, is basically.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
A cat lawyer.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Because the cat's just been there studying.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Time, basically, stay sexy and don't go to law school
unless you really want to.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Then go and be a badass.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Aaron m Aaron, amazing job.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yeah, you're a lawyer. You did it. Congratulations. We're glad
we were in high school with you. Yes, weird.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
We were popular in that high school.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Weren't we made it work?
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Is that it? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Thank you Hyundai for sponsoring this wonderful segment.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, thanks guys.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Y Goodbye, Elvis.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Do you want a Cookie?
Speaker 1 (29:04):
This has been an exactly Right production.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Our senior producers are Alahundra Keck and Molly Smith.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Our editor is Aristotle las Veda.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
This episode was mixed by Leona Squillacci.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Com and follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
And now you can watch us on exactly Rights YouTube page.
And while you're there, please like and subscribe.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Ye bye bye
Hello Ella, and welcome.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
It's my favorite murder the Mini. So we read you
your stories.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Do you want to hear one first? This is an
eighties latchkey kids story and it just goes right into it.
It says, I just listened to Gillian's latchkey kid story,
and I have one of my own. As a latchkey kid,
I was always reminded to never answer the door for anyone.
One day, while my parents were out, one was at work,
the other was car shopping. I was home alone when
(00:43):
some men came to the door and started knocking. I
looked out my curtain saw a car I didn't recognize
and knew I shouldn't answer the door. The knocking grew
louder and louder and became intense banging, until they finally
just broke the door down. I was, of course, terrified
and not sure what to do. I could hear them
downstairs rifling through things, and when I heard them start
(01:04):
to come up the stairs, I quickly hid under the bed.
One of them came in my room, and I don't
really know why he came to my bedside, but I
was sure the thunderous sound of my heart beating when
that man's dirty steel toed boots were standing inches from
my face would give me away. He finally left my room,
and my dumb brain said, you should try to see
(01:25):
what he looks like for the police. So I crept
onto my bed as he was going the opposite direction
down the hall and rounded the corner to the stairs.
How he did not see me, I don't know, and
I wasn't able to get a good look at his
facial features either. I crawled back under the bed and
waited for them to leave. Finally they left, and because
call nine to one in one in an emergency had
(01:47):
not yet been drilled into my brain, I called the neighbor,
who then called the police. You would think this was
bad enough, but upon my return to school, I got
the dreaded take this to the office for me directive,
and I knew full wellth that my classmates were being
talked to about me and the incident. And then in parentheses,
it just says why did schools do this kind of bullshit? Anyway?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
That's weird.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
It says, thank you Butte Creek Elementary School for giving
my tormentors ammunition that made my life hell from that moment.
On the next line, says I was eleven. I struggled
with intense nightmares for twenty plus years until I started
letting my dogs sleep with me. And you would be
surprised by the number of grown ass adults who to
this day fucking asked me about it as if we
(02:31):
were discussing the weather.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
I'm fifty three now and have lived my life in
constant fear for my safety, and I tell everyone I
know to please call first, because an unexpected knock at
the doors throws my heart straight into my throat. Also,
about ten years ago, one of my biggest tormentors friended
me on Facebook. I accepted, trying to let bygones be bygones,
and then one day I was like, fuck that shit,
and I unfriended him. He still occasionally tried to friend
(02:56):
me before blocking with something we thought about on the regular.
And that's my terrifying latchkey kids story. I'm just out
here living my life, always on the edge, but also
trying to stay sexy and not get murdered.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Oh elsa man, that stuff sticks with you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I mean not to assume anything else like cauld you
and I know that's not your whole life story. I
hope you get into therapy. Yeah, that's something you should
definitely talk to somebody about.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Your body keeps the score and you can work it out.
This is called trash cat story. Hello, ladies, I finally
thought of a good one. I must read.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
Really. When I was twelve years old, my mom brought
home two little kittens.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
They were roughly three months old, and they quickly became
my whole entire life. That's right, I became a full
blown cat lady at the age of twelve. The years
passed and we lost one of the kittens around age six.
The remaining cat was the calmer of the two. Her
name was Penny. She was small, tan and gray and
very quiet. I took her to live with me when
I was about twenty years old and she was eight.
(03:55):
She stuck with me through the birth of three boys,
adopting a beagle puppy, a shitty marriage and divorce, and
bringing home another stray kitten when Penny was around sixteen
years old, having been the solo cat for the last
ten years of her life. She hated that kitten with
every fiber of her being and often went into hiding
in different parts of the.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
House to escape him.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Oh mean, when Penny was nineteen years old. I had
just dropped the boys off with their father for his
weekend and came back home to enjoy a quiet night.
I had been home for around an hour when I
went to the back of the house to start a
load of laundry. Coming back into the living room, I
was suddenly hit with an eye stinging, nose burning, wall
of chemical burning smell that I thought was coming from
the open windows in the kitchen. I walked through the kitchen,
(04:37):
and when I got to the front of the house,
I realized the smell was coming from inside the house somewhere.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Panicking, I scooped up.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
The other cat, Albie and the beagle Rosy, and looked
around for Penny. Not seeing her immediately, I took the
two pets outside in my car and locked them in.
I looked around the outside of the house and saw
no smoke, but didn't dare go back inside yet. I
called my mom to see if she would know what
the smell was since she had lived there previously. She
told me to call the gas company. The gas company
shows up with a fire truck in tow. They use
(05:04):
their magic gas sensing wants to look around the outside
of the house, nothing toxic. They go inside, nothing toxic,
but they also smell the smell and want a stay
to help identify where it can be coming from.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
So a team consisting of.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Me, three firefighters, and two gas company men start looking
in the front of the house, where the smell is strongest.
When out of nowhere, Penny pokes her little gray head
out of the cabinet to see what all the fuss
is about. I scoop her up when the smell hits
me like a load of bricks.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
It was Penny.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
She gets rayed by a scout uh uh.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
In an act of what I'm calling cat dementia. Penny
walked across the counters when I was out of the
kitchen and all caps set her tail on fire. Oh
with the candle I had lit on the counter when
I got home. The smell was burnt hair and some
streaks of burnt paint on the kitchen wall. When she
was running away from the fire, the singe part hadn't
(05:54):
reached down to her skin, and she was perfectly fine. I,
on the other hand, had to explain to the five
men in my house that it was my cat and
there was no serious danger. I still can't totally look
all this local firemen in the face when I see
some of them in school drop offline. Penny lived out
of two and a half years and passed away shortly
before her twenty second birthday last November.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
She was truly a.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Part of me that I had to learn how to
live without. The joint comfort she brought to me and
my children, who had never known a life without her,
is truly irreplaceable.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Keep doing what you're doing.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
It has made a world of difference for people who
once felt out of place for loving them.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
A cop lots of love. Sarah, Oh, Katy's tail on fire.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I mean it's very kind of like sweet, and of
course the shy cat gets her cat right tails set
on fire. But I would say you can go right
up to those firemen and the pickup line because you
just having some kind of cat problem is the best
kind of call of firemen could go on. They love it,
they think it's funny. It's something to talk about. Who
(06:52):
caress hurt? No one's jumping off a roof to escape. Yeah,
it's it's best case scenario. I would say with the
kinds of things that fireman c they're probably not judging
the cat thing, I was afraid that cat was going
to be dead somewhere, and I'm like, well, this sucks.
I'm sad about Fanny. No, okay, this says historical hometown.
(07:13):
Hello Georgia, Karen and the ERM team, Greetings from Quincy
pronounced Quincy by the locals, Massachusetts, hometown of John and
John Quincy Adams. I am a third grade teacher in Quincy,
and our social studies curriculum is all about Massachusetts history.
My typical audience is the eight to nine year old
non murdery no market, so I'm hoping to share my
(07:34):
historical knowledge with my fellow murdery nos. Please do you've
discussed John Adams and John Quincy Adams, but I would
be remiss not to acknowledge Abigail Adams. It says Abigail
was husband to John, but we think they mean ye
wife obviously mother to John Quincy. And if we're talking
founding fathers, we need to talk founding mothers. While the
men of the Revolution, who've been extensively written about in
(07:56):
our country's history shocking, we're fighting battles, writing declarations and
signing constitutions that women were making contributions of their own,
although their stories aren't often told. Take Deborah Sampson, Massachusetts
state heroine. When women were forbidden from fighting in battle,
Deborah disguised herself as a man, fought, and even dug
(08:17):
a musket ball out of her leg with a knife
to avoid medical attention that might out her identity.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Total badass. I just read about that woman. Really, Yes,
she was as soldier, undercovered the entire time, and then
finally had to go to the hospital. I believe that's
when they were found out. There's Phyllis Wheatley. As a girl,
Phyllis was taken from her family in Africa and sold
as a slave. Her birth name is unknown. The name
Phyllis Wheatley quote unquote was given to her. Phyllis was
(08:45):
taught to read and write by the family that enslaved her.
A rarity to say the least, and despite her horrific circumstances,
she emerged as a prolific poet, penning works about the
importance of freedom for all. Many of her works were published,
making her the first public African American poet.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Circling back to Abigail, while John was traveling for America's independence,
Abigail Adams was at home, tending to the farm and
her children alone, under constant threat of en danger of
the British during their time apart. She and John are
well known for writing letters to one another, many in
which Abigail offered advice and guidance to John during the Revolution.
(09:22):
Most famously, she encouraged him to remember the ladies, imploring
him to support women too, and the need to provide
education to both boys and girls. Many schools for girls
opened after the Revolution. Abigail Adams was an og feminist.
Oh yeah, I hope you enjoyed my often useless historical knowledge.
I think it could be of great use to us
(09:43):
here on this podcast. Thank you for being my companions
on my long commute home while I decompress from the
chaos that is teaching in America right now. God, stay strong, teachers,
keep fighting the good fight. You're doing amazing. Back at
you from Georgia, and I stay sexy and remember the ladies.
Put tray ps A quick maray to all the teachers. Oh,
I didn't see that. This job has always been difficult,
(10:05):
but it has become damn near impossible in recent years.
Keep digging deep, stay true to your authentic self and
purpose and don't forget to take care of you. Wow. Yeah,
that's good advice.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
That was a great letter. Yeah, good job.
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Third grade history teacher is going to come in and
actually provide us something knowledge.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
We eat it. Yeah, we'll take it.
Speaker 3 (10:27):
This is seven year old, three days and a broken arm. Hello,
Queens of the macab. That's weird that macob.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yes, that's both.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
That's the adjective of guess. So our producer Molly's just
writing all of these. She's like, Georgia will like this.
It's about a cat named Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
It says, Hello, Queens of the Macob, Cats of cookies
and escape artist dogs. It was about this time of
year when I was seven years old and writing my
quad four wheeler to some people. Basically, it's a motorized
four wheeled thing that a seven year old probably shouldn't
have been writing on her own. But I was rinning
in my large backyard when my dad and younger sister
got fishing poles ready to go up to a local
(11:04):
pond for some after dinner fishing. When I did the
only thing my dad told me not to do. He
told me to go fast on straightaway and slow on turns. Well,
I did not slow down on the turn and the
quad ended up on two wheels and I fell off,
flipping the quad. I remember rolling out of the way
to avoid getting crushed, but I was seven, so who
the hell knows?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
I screamed.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
My dad came running, stopped the runaway quad, and then
helped me get up. My left arm hurt like which
one cost twenty five hundred dollars. My arm hurt like hell,
So he took me inside. My mom got me a
water bottle for my arm and tried to calm me
down because naturally I was crying and freaking out. My
mom told me it would be sore for the next
(11:46):
few days. But the next morning I couldn't lift it
above my shoulder. My mom had to all caps force
my arm above my head to put on my shirt,
and I was in tears so.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Like her shoulders dislocated, like, but we got to get
this shirt on.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, this is the only way to get shirt on.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
It has to be pull over the head shirt.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I went to school a all caps karate class that night,
and then and then school the next day. When I
came out of school Friday, it says, the wreck happened
on a Wednesday. My pants were not zipped up or buttoned,
and I was dragging my rowing backpack trying to clutch
my arm.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Very pathetic, So pathetic.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
A doctor's office, a hospital three hours later, and questions
that I now realized I needed to answer because people
thought a seven year old was being abused and we
found out I had a broken arm.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah you did, Yeah you did.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
I am now twenty one years old, and to this day,
that is still the only bone I've ever broken. And
I actually punch harder with that arm now bionic.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Arm, in what scenario? Do you know that?
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I know?
Speaker 2 (12:50):
That's something we should all know. Which which time do
punch harder with? We should all know?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
And what remember when you used to punch with that arm?
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
How different is it now that you when you're punching right?
Speaker 3 (13:00):
Maybe they bloaded her up with something titanium. I also
have this kick ass story to freak my friends out.
I would like to clarify that my parents are amazing
people and very supportive, and I believe this incident has
helped me to become a tougher human being overall.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
You have to say that to yourself, don't you.
Speaker 2 (13:15):
There's no other way.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
The other option is so sad.
Speaker 3 (13:20):
Thank you ladies for all you do. Stay sexy, and
if your seven year old falls off her squad, get
her to the hospital.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
Or don't because it'll make her tough, right Brit, Britt, Britt,
you're probably as tough as nails.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
It's like a positive, you know, cheery person who will
also fight for you.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
She's like, BRIT's like, get her done. She's like, look,
put your arms up. Even when you have a dislocated shoulder,
put your Ringer T shirt.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
On and jam that farm up over your ead if
it's really swollen and throbbing and it hurts to move it.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
All for the answers karate. Did you hear about the
thirteen year old a guy tried to grab her? It
was in Carmel and she fucking used jiu jitsu on
him and broke his ankle.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Hell yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
He was like hey, blah blah blah, and she was like,
I don't need to be helping you. And then you
reached out and rod dur and she was just like,
jiu jitsu, move, jiu jitsu.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Mo amazing.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
We need we all need to learn jiu jitsu. Yeah, wow,
so talk about it.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
That's crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Okay. Here's my last one. It says fistfight at a
first birthday party, and then in parentheses it says, spicy
family drama. That's what we're looking for. Hello, Karen, Georgia, Kitties,
puppies and the entire exactly right crew. Longtime listener, second
time writer. Though, this is a much better story, So
I'm glad you guys never read the first one.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
See.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
We know in many sub four eighteen you ask for
family drama stories. Boy, do I have a good story
for you. Some context. My grandfather was not a good guy.
He was a firefighter who faked an injury and went
out on disability for the remainder of his career. He
was also abusive towards my grandmother, mother, and uncles. My
grandma divorced him in the seventies, and my mother, a loud,
(14:57):
opinionated Brooklyn Italian, stopped speaking to him when she was
a teenager. Suffice it to say, we all had no
relationship with the man, and I didn't know him at all.
Fast forward to January two thousand and two. I am
freshly four years old and the family has gathered to
celebrate my cousin, Stephen's first birthday. My uncle Steve, Stephen's dad,
obviously had an icy relationship with his father, but they're
(15:18):
still on speaking terms at this point. Being that I
was only four at the time, I have no memory
of the following incident, but this is what I've been
told happened. My grandfather's new wife was making a comment
about something and was trying to use the word connoisseur. However,
it sounds like me, It sounds like me.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
However, she mispronounced the word and instead said conna sewer,
which is fine, fine, that's a fun accent. My grandmother
never wanted to hold her judgment or tongue when it's
involving someone she does not have the highest opinion of,
turns around and very loudly says conno sewer. This one
silly comment led to my grandfather and grandmother exchanging some
(15:58):
choice words. Began to get a little heated, which led
my uncle Frank, grandma's brother, leaping across the table and
punching my grandfather in the face. A fistfight between two
men commenced. I don't know exactly what happened next, I'd
imagine they were broken up and maybe the police were called,
but I do know that this was the final nail
in the coffin, effectively ending the relationship between Uncle Steve
(16:21):
and my grandfather, which explains why my brother, cousins and
I never even knew the man. My mother will often say,
I'm surprised you don't remember that, ma'am. I was four.
There are many more wild family moments connected to the
story and the nonsense of my grandfather in general, like
whenever my cousins and I come across the word connoisseur,
which surprises me happens a lot more than you'd think.
(16:41):
We always give each other a knowing look and exclaim
Kano's sewer like the assholes we are. Or the time
I was watching the old school game show Card Sharks
with my grandma.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
I love that game.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
That sentence, I was watching Card Sharks with my grandma
as like the source of all great memories. Crazy, it's
such a good game it is. The host introduces ten
married women and says, how many of these women claim
that they've been in love with another man besides their
husband's scandalous My grandma says, I think I've been in
love with three men, none of them or my husband.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Ooh, Grandma Spicy.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I practically fell on the floor laughing the icing on
the cake. A few days after this, we were informed
of my grandfather's passing. True comedic irony. My sweet uncle Frank,
the unsung hero of this story, lost his battle with
Alzheimer's in twenty twenty four. He was a New York
City firefighter for thirty years and the grandfather I never had.
He was an incredible man and we all miss him
so much, but we know he's always with us, visiting
(17:37):
us in the form of cardinals and flickering lights. He
was and remains the best. Stay sexy and don't get
into a fist fight at a child's birthday party, Emily.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
There is nothing lassier than a fist fight at a
child's birthday party.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
How about a fist fight at a wedding. Oh well,
my family did that a couple times.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Oooh Docramento, okay, an EMU tried to pants my grandma.
Hello MFM Day one listener, something if time writer. The
first time I heard your voices, I was in the
back of a bush taxi in the middle of rule
Burkina Faso, where I was serving.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
With the Peace Corps.
Speaker 3 (18:13):
Since I've become an immigration attorney and I'm prepping for
my wedding next month, You've been with me every step
of the way.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Thank you, Wow, thank you well.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Listening to Georgia's excellent EMU Wars episode, I remember the
time I very gallantly did not stand up to an EMO.
When I was ten years old, my family moved to Australia.
I was fascinated by all the animal interactions. Early on,
I woke up for school and walked out into the
dining room to just see my dad in his underwear
leaping from wall to wall with a shoe box, trying
(18:43):
to catch the biggest Huntsman spider I have ever seen.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Have you seen those ones?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
And they're like Harry's.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah, it's kind of tyrantially if I'm not mistaken, Yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Honestly don't want to see it.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I won't show you, but I'm going to look it up.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Really show me. Okay, I should know, because.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I wonder if I'm thinking.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Of, oh, they're going behind you right now.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Behind you.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
The legs are long, the legs are so it's also.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
Actually, well, I think maybe there's different ones, but this
is not Harry. It's like the tiny version gets in
your bathroom all the time, but it's literally that big.
But when you see it, you go, those legs are
too long.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I can't I can't do spiders.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I'm so sorry because that one was palm size, literally
palm size.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
And then like really like specially.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Long legs, yes, like you like, how are these people
putting them on their hands?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Like long and skinny? Like look at my page right there.
That's how I gripped. That's hard. I gripped my favorites.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Okay, no okay, okay, no more, no more. And that
says it's an image I will never forget.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Me too. Me three.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Around my eleventh birthday, my grandparents Anne and Bill aka
Grammy and Grams came to visit us and we set
off on a number of adventures to show them our
new home. One of the outings was to to Manila
National Preserve, an excellent nature preserve outside of Canberra, where
we were living. We took a picnic and set up
to eat after walking through the Koala Preserve. Oh so manty,
(20:05):
I'll take a kohala in my house, not as any
dayl on the wall.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
They just have a little bit of herpes. That's okay. Yeah,
I don't know. Apparently cool.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Okay for learning a lot Australian.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
I'm your Australian information. You didn't want to know about
Australian hookup.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
As we were starting to eat a couplet, as we
were starting to eat, a couple EMUs. Not as we
were starting to eat a couple of EMUs. As we
were starting to eat a couple EMUs started to approach
our table. We tried to play it cool, but one
of them started to really focus on Grammy. But the
emas just kept getting closer and closer until they were
practically sitting at the table with us. Suddenly, one of
(20:48):
the EMUs start pecking at Grammy's pants. She got up
and started to back away and around the table, and
the EMU followed pecking incessantly at the button of her pants.
The rest of the family started yelling at the emu,
trying to chase it away or trying to quickly pack
up our lunch. Me I ran as quickly as I
could into the car and locked myself inside. That's right,
(21:09):
and watched from afar as a giant EMU chased my
little Grammy around the picnic table, attempting to steal her pants.
Why In the end, the picnic was saved and Grammy's
pants remained intact, all thanks to everyone but me. Cowards
also like locking the door like an emu's just gonna
open the door.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Or if anyone else tries to come and get it's like.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
This, Math you were fast enough.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Stay sexy and don't let the EMU steal your pants. Ruby, Ruby?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Why was it like the color or shiny button? Probably
because those are like I would imagine, EMUs are super
cute fifteen feet away and the second they're within five
feet or scared shit like I think.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
Just they're terrifying up close. Yeah, you got the teeth
and the calves and the muscles.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Dinosaurs, dinosaurs, full on dinosaurs.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Send us your stories about.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
The Australia stories, large spider on any continents.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Sure, definitely, of course, always Emu.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
If you've got a nemus story, If you got an EMU.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Story, we'll take either.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
We like both.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
Okay, Hi, we don't usually do horays at the end
of minisodes, but this is a special occasion, so.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
This is honking horays. Presented by Hyundai.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
A right, you want to go first, I'm sure I'll
go first. Tell me one.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
We also have never read these off cards.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
We don't. It's all so exciting.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
I've never read anything with this much lipstick on before.
Are you ready? The subject line of this horay is
hooray lighthouse in Maine, edition Great after a devastating divorce
in twenty twenty starts off a little hit are you right?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
OK, We're gonna be fine, let's go.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
We're in the cart. After a devastating divorce in twenty twenty,
I started listening to MFM. In one of the podcasts,
Karen stated that she wanted to quote live alone in
a lighthouse in Maine, end to quote remember that one.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Yeah, that's great, Well.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Karen, after four years of dreaming about what you said,
I've moved to Maine from California and I live about
twenty minutes walking four minutes driving from the Portland Head Lighthouse.
It's beautiful. Hooray for bravery, for finding inspiration anywhere or
just doing what Karen says gratefully. Jill sweet, I mean
(23:19):
a hooray for that.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Hooray. I want to leave to I want to leave
California too.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
That sounds great right this second, this moment, can you
get a horay before you go?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I think I'm in a car. Okay, okay, this is
called no titled. Okay, I have a hooray. My dog
Ripkin finish radiation treatments after six weeks of treatment for sarcoma.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
He was a very brave boy.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
And we listened to your voices on the entire one
and a half hour drive.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
Each way to treatment. Oh and that was from KK
Fenwick iree KK. Okay. Yeah, let's so wait.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
That dog's okay, right, yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Finish radiation after six weeks, so he's good now.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Full hooray, gigantic herect yeah okay. This one is written
by none other than A Shelby.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Are you ready? I love a Shelby.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
So the subject line of this is hoay. It was
an email it says this is Shelby here, but it
is actually doctor Shelby.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Now.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I've been an RN since the nineteen Since the nineteen hundreds,
she said, I currently work as a nursing instructor, teaching
baby nurses how to not kill people. It's very important.
Back in twenty nineteen, I was fired from an awesome
job with shitty upper management. But nevertheless, this change forced
me to look at my path and with my husband's encouragement,
(24:33):
I went back to school. I completed my BSN in
the midst of the pandemic. How did you do anything
in the pandemic? That's can you imagine homework in the pandemic?
Absolutely not, and continue to get my masters as a
nurse practitioner. Man. Fast forward to now, my nineteen year
old daughter is getting pinned graduating with an RN degree,
(24:54):
and she pushed me to get my doctorate in nursing
so we could graduate together. I come from a f
only that has never been to college, and now I
have my doctorate with a daughter that is now an RN.
So huge ray to my badass daughter Meghan being an
RN at nineteen and taking her first job in an
emergency room. Megan doesn't care. She's like, I'm here, first
(25:16):
in line to help people.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I'm jumping in.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
You got a motorcycle, I'll be there. I'm Megan. I've
listened since day one, and you ladies have helped me
through studying and thesis. Can you believe that, no, we
did it? What does that even mean? Thanks? For all
your hours of entertainment. Hooraydio, badass bitches Shelby, Thanks Shelby,
Doctor Shelby, Doctor Shelby, Shelby, you did it anything.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Okay. This one is from YouTube.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
It says, my hooray is that I finally, for the
first time ever, played D and D this week.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
See there's big things, there's smaller things.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
It's all important, means something different to everyone, that's right, right.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
I have been wanting the joy of magical role playing
since realizing what D and D is only a year ago.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
And my beautiful coworkers from school I work at Drama
teachers baby.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, join me and my son nine, and we made
my dream come true. It was like disassociating and the
most wonderful way possible.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
And I can't wait to play again.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
So hooray for friends, fantasy and pretending to be a delusional,
wingless dragon.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
The Jane Nester.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Wow, Jane, Jane j The j The Jane Jane Ster,
The Janester, The Janester.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Yeah, Jane, mister, Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
I do too.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I always thought to be too late for me to
play Dan D, but I guess not.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
I always thought it wouldn't be believable because of the pretending. Sure,
I'd be like, I guess I'm control, and.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Yet you're in a car right now reading.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
This is only This is about as fake as it gets. Okay, ready,
this is also an email that says hooray, but this
has five exclamation points after and it says beautiful ladies,
I've finally found a stable job since completing my BS
small c BSc anyone.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
With a college education Bachelor of Science and Communication.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
But then it says in International Wildlife Biology.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Dang it, we didn't graduate college.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
We don't know these classes. So they did all that
two years ago. And working in the hospitality industry for
the past ten years, I've been craving some sense of stability.
This new job isn't much, but it's providing me with
routine structure and an amazing work life balance, which I
so desperately needed. Does this mean I'm getting old? Maybe,
but I'm here for it. I can't wait to go
(27:37):
to bed early. Busy from Wales. And then it says, PS,
be nice to your waiters, they're dead inside, that's true.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Yeah, and your podcasters.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Yeah, that's pretty much everybody.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Be nice? Yeah, be nice.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
This one is an email and it says hello, exactly right, folks,
Karen and Georgia. My name is Aarin. I've been listening
to MFM since high school along with my mom.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Shout out Mare Margo.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
I'm graduating from law school as one of the top
students in my class.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Law school sucks, but it's in my past now.
Speaker 3 (28:08):
To think that you guys have kept me sane and
entertained since I was in high school and now I'm
almost a lawyer is insane. Hope it doesn't make you
feel too old.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
It does.
Speaker 3 (28:18):
And for a bonus, my cat Yuzu, who has survived
law school with me, is basically.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
A cat lawyer.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
Because the cat's just been there studying.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Time, basically, stay sexy and don't go to law school
unless you really want to.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Then go and be a badass.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Aaron m Aaron, amazing job.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Yeah, you're a lawyer. You did it. Congratulations. We're glad
we were in high school with you. Yes, weird.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
We were popular in that high school.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Weren't we made it work?
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Is that it? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Thank you Hyundai for sponsoring this wonderful segment.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yeah, thanks guys.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Y Goodbye, Elvis.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Do you want a Cookie?
Speaker 1 (29:04):
This has been an exactly Right production.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Our senior producers are Alahundra Keck and Molly Smith.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Our editor is Aristotle las Veda.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
This episode was mixed by Leona Squillacci.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail dot.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Com and follow the show on Instagram at my Favorite Murder.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
And now you can watch us on exactly Rights YouTube page.
And while you're there, please like and subscribe.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Ye bye bye
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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