June 24, 2025 • 27 mins
This one’s for the romantics ... and the skeptics.
Summer is the season of beach reads and romantic comedies — and this best of episode of My Legacy is the perfect listen to match.
From chance encounters and blind dates to long-distance sparks, hosts Martin Luther King III, Arndrea Waters King, Marc Kielburger, and Craig Kielburger get a front-row seat to real-life rom-coms – and masterclasses in vulnerability, timing, and the courage to keep choosing each other.
- Jemele Hill shares dating pro tips for women – and men.
- Sanjay Gupta and his wife Rebecca prove that friendship can lead to forever.
- Jay Shetty reminds us that love is about showing up and loving the person … not their résumé.
- And Martin Luther King III and Arndrea Waters King share the real story behind their rocky first date.
If you’ve ever loved, lost, or hoped, this episode is for you!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Summer is the season of beach reads and romantic comedies,
and we've got the perfect listen to match. From unexpected
sparks to unforgettable first impressions. Today, on the best of
my legacy, we are sharing the meet cutes that turned
into forever.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You know, we all love love stories and we all
want to hear every detail.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I looked at him and I gave him that I energy,
like I need you to come over here, and he
came over.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
He got my number.
Speaker 5 (00:31):
Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more
like you get to know each other and then maybe
we should.
Speaker 6 (00:37):
Do This is gonna be five minutes and I am
out of here, you know, Like this is you know,
I definitely need to school this man. Like you know, I.
Speaker 7 (00:48):
Remember seeing Ribby and thinking she's the most beautiful woman
in the world, and I thought no, no, no, focus, focus,
focus to become Among.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Host Smart and Luther King the Third and Andrea Waters, King,
Mark Kilberger, and Craig Kilberger get a front row seat
to real life rom coms and masterclasses and vulnerability timing
and the courage to keep choosing each other. First up,
Jamel Hill proves that when it comes to love. Confidence
is the ultimate strategy.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You know, we all love love stories and we all
want to hear every detail. But Jamil, can you tell
us how you all story began? The two of you?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Well, I'm sure you asked this question enough to know
that when you're speaking with a couple, both people have
different versions of how.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
This actually has the truth. Tell the truth, yes, amen,
Yes it's true.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
And somehow it feels like when men tell their side
of the story. It's also grossly embellished on a lot
of accounts.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
So this was twenty fourteen.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I was still at ESPN and I had a daily
sports discussion show called Numbers Never Lie. And I came
back to Michigan State where I went to school. My
husband also went to Michigan State as well, but we
went at different times.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
They asked me to be the homecoming.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Ambassador, if you will, like, so I had to go
back be in the parade, you know, do all those
that kind of homecoming stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
And so I went back there.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
The show came there as well, just as a support thing,
and so you know, I was on campus for the
weekend and going around to different tailgates. This is game Day,
went to a tailgate It was the Black Alumni tailgate,
one of my favorite tailgates to go to when I
go to a Michigan State football game, and I was
there talking to someone. It was actually and it turned
(02:44):
out to be a friend of my husband's and I
didn't even know him then, and I was talking to
him when my husband came up. And as soon as
he came up and started talking to his friend, I
immediately noticed he's fine.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
So like, I'm not gonna lie like it was like, officially.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
I loved you, and smile.
Speaker 8 (03:01):
He's not saying anything. He's just sitting there smiling.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
So far, so far? Okay, do I have this correct?
All right? So I was like, he's fine, Where did
he come from? I'm gonna continue this conversation.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
So the three of us started to talk and there
was definitely some flirty eye energy between me and my husband.
I just sort of left things there because I had
other homecoming duties that I had to do and I
did not expect to see him again.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Well, fast forward to a few hours later.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Misch could say Black Alumni they host the big party
for homecoming weekend. I went to the party and sure enough,
I'm at the party. I look across the dance floor
and my husband is standing right there, and I was like, oh,
the fine guy from the dailgate. You know, so I
energy this is this is just a little aside, a
pro tip for ladies out there. I energy works. You
(03:50):
send the right eye energy, the right body language. You
can just bring them on to you.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So I looked at him and I gave him that
I energy like, I need you to come over here.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
And he came over.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
He got my number, and the rest, as they say,
is history. More importantly too, pro tip for men who
are listening. He called me the next day. It wasn't
like he waited. He didn't, you know, hold it out
for a week to try to see you know, you know,
play it cool.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
He didn't.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
He called me the next day. Eye energy, yep ie energy.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
And when you see something, say something right. So, in
other words, call the next day. Don't don't play a
follow up. Don't let her forget you up. There's no
need to play games with the grown woman.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
No, and so, babe, did I get that right?
Speaker 7 (04:38):
Mostly true?
Speaker 9 (04:38):
You forgot to mention love at first sight, not for me,
for her.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Saying it's always he always got to put a little
Extra on.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
It Coming Up, America's doctor Sanje Gupta and his wife
Rebecca Gupta show us that real love is built on small,
everyday gestures and co hosts Martin and Araria. I feel
how their relationship almost ended before it even began.
Speaker 8 (05:09):
Now back to my legacy, we're back.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Could you share the story of how you all met
and in a twenty something Sanjay, when he was in
medical school and you were in law school.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
It's kind of funny, so, I mean, it's a little embarrassing.
We met through a mutual friend at you know what,
You're in college and your social time is often spent
like at bars, and so we were at a bar
and somebody knew us. Both was like, hey, you know,
you got to meet, and that's how we met. And
it took a while from there. We were just friends.
(05:45):
It took a while from there before we started dating
and that kind of thing. But that's more typical to college,
I think, and more typical to a lot of relationships people.
Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more
like you get to know each other and then we
should do I wasn't love it.
Speaker 9 (06:04):
I feel like I was just insulted.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
Bet you have some analytics. So are those who are
friends first that science.
Speaker 9 (06:15):
Well, I don't know. In my anecdotal case of one,
it worked out all right.
Speaker 10 (06:22):
For you.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
Pretty pretty high on that scale. Yeah, so much higher
than hers to me.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Yeah, Actually, it's interesting. I mean, I think I don't
have the like the statistics or anything to back me
up on this, but I think men tend to have
more visual like when they're attracted, and women are more intellectual.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
So did you see them you're shaking shaken to what
he's trying.
Speaker 9 (06:53):
Look, I think the way you interpret that COMMI we
are either smart nor good looking?
Speaker 8 (06:59):
You were romantic? Or like, what's what's your demeanor when
you guys want to have a chance to connect?
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Yeah, probably more of the romantic.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
I love, look.
Speaker 9 (07:12):
At I think I'm pretty romantic. I think definitely more procedural,
like in the sense that let's make a plan, you know,
and so. But I don't know, does that is that
at odds with romanticism? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
An interesting question.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
But one of the things he does do that that's romantic.
But I think it's towards our whole family is in
the mornings when he has to get up and go
before the rest of us. You always kind of will
leave the lights on and some music playing. Sometimes, you know,
he'll turn the coffee pot on, or like if it's cold,
he'll turn the fireplace on, which is nice to come
down to in the morning.
Speaker 9 (07:55):
I start my start cars for people and when it's cold,
you know.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Because that's an old like because we're from Michigan, that's
an old Michigan like seeing and our kids are like,
why are you starting to used to be really cold?
Speaker 9 (08:09):
I love that, I think because I was thinking about
this in anticipation of this interview. By the way, people
don't get to have nice conversations like this enough. I
just I'll just throw that in there, like it's funny.
We talk all the time, Rebecca and I, and yet
we probably don't really have conversations like this. But I think, oh,
let me just say what. I think that the the
(08:29):
idea that there's a lot of mutual respect for each other,
Like I think that that that ingredient more than maybe
any other, the the love at first sight, the intellectualism,
all of that mutual respect, genuine respect, I think is
the key. And also coupled with that is the idea
(08:50):
that I never question she has my best interests in mind.
I think when you have interactions with people in your life,
you do wonder they're competing interests. Sometimes with EI, they're
telling you what they're telling you, or and and and
that's okay, that's that's not a criticism, that's life. But
I think when you have a partner who you don't
ever question that they have your best interest in mind,
(09:13):
that's a really powerful thing. And it's hard to find.
It's hard to find, and if you find it, you
hang on to it.
Speaker 8 (09:22):
I couldn't be prouder to be alongside with all of
you on this incredible journey. And for those listeners or
viewers who haven't had a chance to get to know
you as well as we have, could one of you
or both of you perhaps tell us a little bit
the story you or the backstory of how you guys met.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Well, we were actually introduced on a blind date.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I was able to see pretty well.
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Actually, there were two people that were out and they
met each other and they suggested that we meet each other.
So we we're giving each other's phone numbers. We talked
on the phone for a few times and we agreed
that we were going to meet, and the day and
time that we had set. Let me say it was
(10:13):
one o'clock. You know, one o'clock came and went, Martin,
wasn't there?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
You know?
Speaker 6 (10:17):
One o five came and went, Martin wasn't there? Hopefully,
I I went past one ten, and by by one
ten I was living and I was like, well, but
I knew that for some reason, I knew that he
would call because we had such great conversations. Yes, I also, though,
had made the decision that he had absolutely one thousand
(10:41):
percent no chance of us ever meeting, dating, or connecting. Period.
What happened, well, then about one fifteen is a friend
who had been on some of the calls called and said,
I'm so sorry. Martin was called out of town on
an emergency and I was supposed to call earlier and
(11:03):
I'm so sorry, and Ken, you know, can can you reschedule?
I said sure? So he said, okay, well he'll pick
you up next you know, you know, Saturday X amount
of time. I said, oh no, that's okay. We could
meet because by this time I had made the decision
that I was going to meet him so I can
(11:25):
look him in his eyes, tell him off, tell him,
this is not how you treat a lady. I felt
at this point like this was a mission for all
female kind, for whom because at this point he had
no absolutely chance with me. But I felt the need
to make sure that whatever lady comes next then that
he would know how to treat them.
Speaker 7 (11:47):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Okay, well there's more the story, and I'm not sure
where to interject. Should I interject? Well, I was actually
called a way oftentimes in the in the civil rights community,
events occur and it's almost like crisis prevention. I'm not
(12:09):
suggesting I was gonna avert a crisis. I don't know
where I was called, but I was called out of
town and it was like, okay, something happened, and then.
Speaker 8 (12:18):
So you're gonna go save save the world. That my
part exactly.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Okay.
Speaker 11 (12:27):
Then the interesting thing about it is I never learned
that she did not know until maybe eight nine months later.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
So so okay, well take us to the second meeting.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Then.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So the second meeting occurred on a Saturday date maybe
a week later, and we arrived we as complicated. I'll
just say, the person who works with me, who's one
of my protectors, one of.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
My team, I did.
Speaker 8 (13:04):
You're just digging here.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
So I we arrived and he went in to survey.
Speaker 8 (13:17):
Was the word you're gonna use here, Martin, because you're
in big trouble.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Let's see. But long and short.
Speaker 8 (13:23):
I wanted to make sure she was there.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
That's right, that's exactly. And so then I came in
and we went to a table and we talked I
don't know, an hour and a half and it was great.
She did not mention one time at that time that
you know, you know, Fiel didn't call me. So the
(13:46):
conversation was, I guess intriguing.
Speaker 8 (13:49):
So first sight, Uh those by the way, if I'm
introduct who are not watching, but listen to the podcast.
He's holding her hand.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It was love and long sight. It was going to
be long, long, long, long, but she she was just
so amazing. She first of all, she's she was beautiful.
Then she's even more beautiful. Now you want to tell.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
You your well when Phil came in and then the
advanced man, the advanced man came in and went back out.
I was like, oh no, he's really Oh yeah, he's
parking the car and he went back he was like
checking down, Yes, I did. Okay, everyone, so then I
was like, oh, yeah, no, this is going to be
five minutes and I am out of here. You know,
(14:37):
like this is you know, I definitely need to school
this man. Like, you know, you.
Speaker 8 (14:42):
Should brought both him, Martin and Phil together and you
could have schooled them together.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
Oh yeah, that was the intention. They were going to
the woods. Oh yeah, and h Interestingly enough, when when
Martin came in, there was just this immediate anyone who's
ever been in Martin's presence or met Martin that they
(15:07):
can attest to just this extraordinary love and light that
emanates from him, which actually, frankly, I wasn't expecting, and
that is what I guess disarmed me. And then I
very quickly realized that this truly is one of the
(15:28):
best men that I had ever met. So his heart
saved him.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Wow, this, but I just knew that we had had
We've had amazing conversations and a great conversation, a great
experience at the first meeting.
Speaker 8 (15:47):
So what do you love most about your amazing wife?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
What I love most about her is her her passion
for interpreting what you know whenever I well, let's that's
a lot. That's a loaded question. By the way. But
let me just say this, there's not one specific thing
that I love most. I love the fact that every
(16:12):
day she wakes up and the main thing is, regardless
of what we're going through and what's going on in
the world, and there are times when we all don't
want to do things, she always does the right thing,
not sometimes always. I don't want to explain that anymore,
(16:32):
but I will explain it to you all.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
Oh my goodness, his heart. He truly leads and lives
in the world with his heart. And I remember once
the comedian did Gregory when he was introducing Martin, talked
about how he said, you know, this man walks in
(16:59):
love and that is that is Martin, and it's that
way on stage, off stage, at home. And also his humor.
He's extremely funny.
Speaker 10 (17:15):
Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy
right now, send us their way and hit that subscriberor
follow button so we can continue to bring you these
heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons more from this best of
My Legacy episode right after the break.
Speaker 6 (17:36):
Now back to My Legacy.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
So the interesting thing is the first episode of my
podcast on Purpose ever was me and Rady telling this
story together, and I always wanted to start the show
at a really authentic, genuine, conscious place, and I thought,
why not do it the person who knows me best
and knows me most deeply. And so the long story,
short version is I was in my final year of
(18:02):
college and I knew that I was going to become
a monk after I graduated, and I would go to
my local temple to serve and assist on the weekends
just to stay out of trouble. And when I was
doing that service, I was asked to show a woman
around who was around my mom's age, with different chores
and different practices at the temple. I'd never been asked
(18:23):
to do this before. This was the first time I
showed her around. She was very sweet, and then at
the end of it, she said to me, I had
a daughter that I'd love to introduce to spirituality and meditation.
And I said, well, I'm going to become a monk,
so I can introduce her to my younger sister who's
also involved in the community, and why don't you bring
her in? And so you know, that week she brought
(18:44):
her in and it happened to be my wife's mom
and Raley was her daughter who came in and I
introduced Radi and my sister, and I remember seeing Rady
and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
And I thought, no, no, no focus, focus, focussing to
become a monk, and so I kind of like shut
it out. And then when I came back from the monastery,
Radi and my sister had become best friends, and so
(19:06):
my sister was our matchmakers. So that's how we met.
Speaker 6 (19:10):
So Radi, I'm very, very curious. So you're at a
temple and you see this wonderful human being that was
training to be a monk, and what was going through
your mind when you first when you first met him.
Speaker 12 (19:30):
That's a really good question, you know, I he was
in like, he was in white robes at the time,
weren't you. Yeah, he was training to be a monk.
He was in white robes. He knew my mom. It
was like a very odd situation. My mom was introducing us,
and so when I saw him, it was it was
interesting because he had like tattoos in monk clothes, was
a very like, well spoken person, where normally, in my mind,
(19:53):
a monk was someone who was from India and I,
you know, usually would have to speak to them in
another language, and so it was kind of changing a
lot of narratives in my mind of what I expected
to see. When my mum was like, Oh, I want
to introduce you to this monk, so I think I
was readjusting to my expectations.
Speaker 6 (20:07):
And then I mean I.
Speaker 12 (20:09):
Started going to his classes and hearing him speak about spirituality,
and honestly, I think I felt in awe of him
through watching him in those spaces and in the community,
and you know, I ended up being an observer of
him rather than a friend at the beginning, because we
didn't really have a friendship or a relationship at all
when we first met. So it was quite nice seeing
(20:32):
him in his own environment doing something that he loved.
And so at first it was almost like he had
He felt like a teacher and a guide more than
he felt like someone that I was thinking I could
be with. But then when I became friends with his
sister and she kept telling me all these amazing things
about him, I was like, Oh, he's so sweet, and
they have the sweetest relationship he you know, he is
(20:53):
like a father figure to her and she loves him
so much, and I thought, well, someone who's got that
relationship with their sister, and usually your sibling has the
best and worst things to say about you. And she
just loved him so much, and so there was moments
where you know, I kept saying to I was like,
you know, I think I really like your brother, and
she was like, you can't. He's going to be a
monk for the rest of his life. Leave him alone.
(21:15):
She was like, I need you to leave him, Please
leave Yeah, please, I'm just telling you he wants to
be a monk forever. So yeah, I kind of gave
up on that idea. And so as soon as he
came out from being a monk and we got to
know each other, we both just realized how how right
we ended up being about each other, as he said,
and it was a nice surprise because it could have
gone both ways.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
You know, I love that, she said, fell in ahe
I want to ask you both, what simple thing does
your partner do to show that they love you.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
For me, the biggest one is I think when we
first got married and we moved to New York and
then we were kind of there for a couple of years,
then moving to la and We've just been through so
much change, and change that wasn't anticipating or expected, so
changed that we both had planned to live our whole
lives fifteen minutes from our local temple in England and
(22:09):
five minutes away from Radi's parents home. And actually that
was one of her requirements for us getting married, was
that she could be a one mile radius away from
her parents' home. And I'd committed to that, and I
genuinely had committed to that. It was something that I
thought was very real. All of our friends are in
that area, families in that area. It made sense. And
(22:32):
then all of a sudden, my career took a turn
in twenty sixteen when this part of my life started
to grow and it's continued to for the nine years, thankfully.
And if I'm completely honest, that was completely not part
of the plan, not my plan, not her plan, not
our plan, but it was what I couldn't even have
dreamed of. And not once in the last nine years
(22:58):
as Radi ever said to me, look what I gave
up for you, And oh God, I could cry saying this,
but it's one of those things. It's like I know
how much her parents mean to her now much her
family friends mean to her. I know how much London
means to her, and for her to move away, for
her to give that up when we didn't have clarity,
(23:21):
like you know, we're very fortunate today to have a
wonderful life, but getting here wasn't easy. I was away
a lot, I traveled a lot for work, I was
building things, moving around. And never once did she say,
I gave this all up for you. You're never around,
you work too hard. And I think that kind of trust,
(23:44):
without nagging, without making someone feel bad, when I was
already carrying the burden of it myself, And I think
that's the feeling that makes you feel loved where you're like,
I was already feeling that way myself. So if she
would have said it to me, probably would broken me.
But the fact that she didn't feel that she had
to say it to me makes me feel love. So
(24:08):
not blaming, not shaming, not pushing, not prodding is is.
It feels like a small thing, but actually it's huge.
And even at the most difficult times in our life,
whether we were financially struggling, you know, struggling with moving, changing,
whatever things were going on in our life, every time
(24:29):
i'd update her on what would happen, she'd always say,
I trust you, And hearing your partner say that when
you don't even know what's going to happen next is
the greatest sign of love. And so and and you know,
she radly decided to date me and commit to a
relationship with me when I had nothing to offer about myself,
(24:51):
and so that's a pretty big thing. She could have
married anyone she wanted to marry, and so her decision
to be with someone who didn't have a even a
secure job when I first started dating, and you know,
someone who'd been in the monastery for three years and
didn't have any sort of savings or any sort of plan,
I think it shows her character and her ability to
(25:13):
you know, go beyond material things. And the more recent one,
I mean, I could go on as well.
Speaker 12 (25:20):
I think the more recently shedn't need to get one.
Speaker 7 (25:24):
Radi's never let me define my self worth based on
my success. So when I first started to experience success,
Radi didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to.
And I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to
be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader and
(25:44):
she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize
if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was.
So if it came to my character, that's what she
was backing. She wasn't backing me because of my career,
and that took me. That helped me detach from valuing
myself based on the success of my career because I
(26:05):
think that's what I would have done and what I
would have wanted if she had fallen in that way.
And so her lack of validation for my career was
the greatest validation for.
Speaker 6 (26:18):
Caring great.
Speaker 7 (26:20):
But I think it's a cut and again going back
to the men point, I think a lot of men
like we want our partners to be like front row.
We want them to be the cheerleader, like we've we've
got that culture. And I'm not saying that my wife
isn't my cheerleader that, but I'm saying, your wife's cheerleading
your character, not your career. That's better because the career
is up and down, Like the career is going to
(26:41):
do whatever it's going to do, But your characters who
you are, like, what do you want to be loved for?
Do you want to be loved for the amount of
followers you have, or do you want to be loved
for who you are and how you show up and
what she believes you represent. And so I think it's
genuinely we're laughing about it, and it can have funny connotations,
but I want to clarify, Like the point is, I
think we all want to be loved for who we
are and not loved for what we achieve.
Speaker 12 (27:03):
I did start listening to your podcast last year.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Thank you for joining us for the best of my legacy.
New episodes drop every Tuesday. Don't forget to subscribe so
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Summer is the season of beach reads and romantic comedies,
and we've got the perfect listen to match. From unexpected
sparks to unforgettable first impressions. Today, on the best of
my legacy, we are sharing the meet cutes that turned
into forever.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You know, we all love love stories and we all
want to hear every detail.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I looked at him and I gave him that I energy,
like I need you to come over here, and he
came over.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
He got my number.
Speaker 5 (00:31):
Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more
like you get to know each other and then maybe
we should.
Speaker 6 (00:37):
Do This is gonna be five minutes and I am
out of here, you know, Like this is you know,
I definitely need to school this man. Like you know, I.
Speaker 7 (00:48):
Remember seeing Ribby and thinking she's the most beautiful woman
in the world, and I thought no, no, no, focus, focus,
focus to become Among.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Host Smart and Luther King the Third and Andrea Waters, King,
Mark Kilberger, and Craig Kilberger get a front row seat
to real life rom coms and masterclasses and vulnerability timing
and the courage to keep choosing each other. First up,
Jamel Hill proves that when it comes to love. Confidence
is the ultimate strategy.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You know, we all love love stories and we all
want to hear every detail. But Jamil, can you tell
us how you all story began? The two of you?
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Well, I'm sure you asked this question enough to know
that when you're speaking with a couple, both people have
different versions of how.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
This actually has the truth. Tell the truth, yes, amen,
Yes it's true.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
And somehow it feels like when men tell their side
of the story. It's also grossly embellished on a lot
of accounts.
Speaker 4 (01:51):
So this was twenty fourteen.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
I was still at ESPN and I had a daily
sports discussion show called Numbers Never Lie. And I came
back to Michigan State where I went to school. My
husband also went to Michigan State as well, but we
went at different times.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
They asked me to be the homecoming.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Ambassador, if you will, like, so I had to go
back be in the parade, you know, do all those
that kind of homecoming stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
And so I went back there.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
The show came there as well, just as a support thing,
and so you know, I was on campus for the
weekend and going around to different tailgates. This is game Day,
went to a tailgate It was the Black Alumni tailgate,
one of my favorite tailgates to go to when I
go to a Michigan State football game, and I was
there talking to someone. It was actually and it turned
(02:44):
out to be a friend of my husband's and I
didn't even know him then, and I was talking to
him when my husband came up. And as soon as
he came up and started talking to his friend, I
immediately noticed he's fine.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
So like, I'm not gonna lie like it was like, officially.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
I loved you, and smile.
Speaker 8 (03:01):
He's not saying anything. He's just sitting there smiling.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
So far, so far? Okay, do I have this correct?
All right? So I was like, he's fine, Where did
he come from? I'm gonna continue this conversation.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
So the three of us started to talk and there
was definitely some flirty eye energy between me and my husband.
I just sort of left things there because I had
other homecoming duties that I had to do and I
did not expect to see him again.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
Well, fast forward to a few hours later.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Misch could say Black Alumni they host the big party
for homecoming weekend. I went to the party and sure enough,
I'm at the party. I look across the dance floor
and my husband is standing right there, and I was like, oh,
the fine guy from the dailgate. You know, so I
energy this is this is just a little aside, a
pro tip for ladies out there. I energy works. You
(03:50):
send the right eye energy, the right body language. You
can just bring them on to you.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
So I looked at him and I gave him that
I energy like, I need you to come over here.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
And he came over.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
He got my number, and the rest, as they say,
is history. More importantly too, pro tip for men who
are listening. He called me the next day. It wasn't
like he waited. He didn't, you know, hold it out
for a week to try to see you know, you know,
play it cool.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
He didn't.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
He called me the next day. Eye energy, yep ie energy.
Speaker 6 (04:22):
And when you see something, say something right. So, in
other words, call the next day. Don't don't play a
follow up. Don't let her forget you up. There's no
need to play games with the grown woman.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
No, and so, babe, did I get that right?
Speaker 7 (04:38):
Mostly true?
Speaker 9 (04:38):
You forgot to mention love at first sight, not for me,
for her.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Saying it's always he always got to put a little
Extra on.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
It Coming Up, America's doctor Sanje Gupta and his wife
Rebecca Gupta show us that real love is built on small,
everyday gestures and co hosts Martin and Araria. I feel
how their relationship almost ended before it even began.
Speaker 8 (05:09):
Now back to my legacy, we're back.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Could you share the story of how you all met
and in a twenty something Sanjay, when he was in
medical school and you were in law school.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
It's kind of funny, so, I mean, it's a little embarrassing.
We met through a mutual friend at you know what,
You're in college and your social time is often spent
like at bars, and so we were at a bar
and somebody knew us. Both was like, hey, you know,
you got to meet, and that's how we met. And
it took a while from there. We were just friends.
(05:45):
It took a while from there before we started dating
and that kind of thing. But that's more typical to college,
I think, and more typical to a lot of relationships people.
Not everybody is like love at first sight. It's more
like you get to know each other and then we
should do I wasn't love it.
Speaker 9 (06:04):
I feel like I was just insulted.
Speaker 6 (06:07):
Bet you have some analytics. So are those who are
friends first that science.
Speaker 9 (06:15):
Well, I don't know. In my anecdotal case of one,
it worked out all right.
Speaker 10 (06:22):
For you.
Speaker 9 (06:23):
Pretty pretty high on that scale. Yeah, so much higher
than hers to me.
Speaker 5 (06:30):
Yeah, Actually, it's interesting. I mean, I think I don't
have the like the statistics or anything to back me
up on this, but I think men tend to have
more visual like when they're attracted, and women are more intellectual.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
So did you see them you're shaking shaken to what
he's trying.
Speaker 9 (06:53):
Look, I think the way you interpret that COMMI we
are either smart nor good looking?
Speaker 8 (06:59):
You were romantic? Or like, what's what's your demeanor when
you guys want to have a chance to connect?
Speaker 5 (07:04):
Yeah, probably more of the romantic.
Speaker 4 (07:08):
I love, look.
Speaker 9 (07:12):
At I think I'm pretty romantic. I think definitely more procedural,
like in the sense that let's make a plan, you know,
and so. But I don't know, does that is that
at odds with romanticism? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
An interesting question.
Speaker 5 (07:36):
But one of the things he does do that that's romantic.
But I think it's towards our whole family is in
the mornings when he has to get up and go
before the rest of us. You always kind of will
leave the lights on and some music playing. Sometimes, you know,
he'll turn the coffee pot on, or like if it's cold,
he'll turn the fireplace on, which is nice to come
down to in the morning.
Speaker 9 (07:55):
I start my start cars for people and when it's cold,
you know.
Speaker 5 (08:00):
Because that's an old like because we're from Michigan, that's
an old Michigan like seeing and our kids are like,
why are you starting to used to be really cold?
Speaker 9 (08:09):
I love that, I think because I was thinking about
this in anticipation of this interview. By the way, people
don't get to have nice conversations like this enough. I
just I'll just throw that in there, like it's funny.
We talk all the time, Rebecca and I, and yet
we probably don't really have conversations like this. But I think, oh,
let me just say what. I think that the the
(08:29):
idea that there's a lot of mutual respect for each other,
Like I think that that that ingredient more than maybe
any other, the the love at first sight, the intellectualism,
all of that mutual respect, genuine respect, I think is
the key. And also coupled with that is the idea
(08:50):
that I never question she has my best interests in mind.
I think when you have interactions with people in your life,
you do wonder they're competing interests. Sometimes with EI, they're
telling you what they're telling you, or and and and
that's okay, that's that's not a criticism, that's life. But
I think when you have a partner who you don't
ever question that they have your best interest in mind,
(09:13):
that's a really powerful thing. And it's hard to find.
It's hard to find, and if you find it, you
hang on to it.
Speaker 8 (09:22):
I couldn't be prouder to be alongside with all of
you on this incredible journey. And for those listeners or
viewers who haven't had a chance to get to know
you as well as we have, could one of you
or both of you perhaps tell us a little bit
the story you or the backstory of how you guys met.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Well, we were actually introduced on a blind date.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
I was able to see pretty well.
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Actually, there were two people that were out and they
met each other and they suggested that we meet each other.
So we we're giving each other's phone numbers. We talked
on the phone for a few times and we agreed
that we were going to meet, and the day and
time that we had set. Let me say it was
(10:13):
one o'clock. You know, one o'clock came and went, Martin,
wasn't there?
Speaker 4 (10:17):
You know?
Speaker 6 (10:17):
One o five came and went, Martin wasn't there? Hopefully,
I I went past one ten, and by by one
ten I was living and I was like, well, but
I knew that for some reason, I knew that he
would call because we had such great conversations. Yes, I also, though,
had made the decision that he had absolutely one thousand
(10:41):
percent no chance of us ever meeting, dating, or connecting. Period.
What happened, well, then about one fifteen is a friend
who had been on some of the calls called and said,
I'm so sorry. Martin was called out of town on
an emergency and I was supposed to call earlier and
(11:03):
I'm so sorry, and Ken, you know, can can you reschedule?
I said sure? So he said, okay, well he'll pick
you up next you know, you know, Saturday X amount
of time. I said, oh no, that's okay. We could
meet because by this time I had made the decision
that I was going to meet him so I can
(11:25):
look him in his eyes, tell him off, tell him,
this is not how you treat a lady. I felt
at this point like this was a mission for all
female kind, for whom because at this point he had
no absolutely chance with me. But I felt the need
to make sure that whatever lady comes next then that
he would know how to treat them.
Speaker 7 (11:47):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Okay, well there's more the story, and I'm not sure
where to interject. Should I interject? Well, I was actually
called a way oftentimes in the in the civil rights community,
events occur and it's almost like crisis prevention. I'm not
(12:09):
suggesting I was gonna avert a crisis. I don't know
where I was called, but I was called out of
town and it was like, okay, something happened, and then.
Speaker 8 (12:18):
So you're gonna go save save the world. That my
part exactly.
Speaker 7 (12:27):
Okay.
Speaker 11 (12:27):
Then the interesting thing about it is I never learned
that she did not know until maybe eight nine months later.
Speaker 8 (12:39):
So so okay, well take us to the second meeting.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Then.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So the second meeting occurred on a Saturday date maybe
a week later, and we arrived we as complicated. I'll
just say, the person who works with me, who's one
of my protectors, one of.
Speaker 7 (12:59):
My team, I did.
Speaker 8 (13:04):
You're just digging here.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
So I we arrived and he went in to survey.
Speaker 8 (13:17):
Was the word you're gonna use here, Martin, because you're
in big trouble.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Let's see. But long and short.
Speaker 8 (13:23):
I wanted to make sure she was there.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
That's right, that's exactly. And so then I came in
and we went to a table and we talked I
don't know, an hour and a half and it was great.
She did not mention one time at that time that
you know, you know, Fiel didn't call me. So the
(13:46):
conversation was, I guess intriguing.
Speaker 8 (13:49):
So first sight, Uh those by the way, if I'm
introduct who are not watching, but listen to the podcast.
He's holding her hand.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Right.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
It was love and long sight. It was going to
be long, long, long, long, but she she was just
so amazing. She first of all, she's she was beautiful.
Then she's even more beautiful. Now you want to tell.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
You your well when Phil came in and then the
advanced man, the advanced man came in and went back out.
I was like, oh no, he's really Oh yeah, he's
parking the car and he went back he was like
checking down, Yes, I did. Okay, everyone, so then I
was like, oh, yeah, no, this is going to be
five minutes and I am out of here. You know,
(14:37):
like this is you know, I definitely need to school
this man. Like, you know, you.
Speaker 8 (14:42):
Should brought both him, Martin and Phil together and you
could have schooled them together.
Speaker 6 (14:46):
Oh yeah, that was the intention. They were going to
the woods. Oh yeah, and h Interestingly enough, when when
Martin came in, there was just this immediate anyone who's
ever been in Martin's presence or met Martin that they
(15:07):
can attest to just this extraordinary love and light that
emanates from him, which actually, frankly, I wasn't expecting, and
that is what I guess disarmed me. And then I
very quickly realized that this truly is one of the
(15:28):
best men that I had ever met. So his heart
saved him.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Wow, this, but I just knew that we had had
We've had amazing conversations and a great conversation, a great
experience at the first meeting.
Speaker 8 (15:47):
So what do you love most about your amazing wife?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
What I love most about her is her her passion
for interpreting what you know whenever I well, let's that's
a lot. That's a loaded question. By the way. But
let me just say this, there's not one specific thing
that I love most. I love the fact that every
(16:12):
day she wakes up and the main thing is, regardless
of what we're going through and what's going on in
the world, and there are times when we all don't
want to do things, she always does the right thing,
not sometimes always. I don't want to explain that anymore,
(16:32):
but I will explain it to you all.
Speaker 6 (16:37):
Oh my goodness, his heart. He truly leads and lives
in the world with his heart. And I remember once
the comedian did Gregory when he was introducing Martin, talked
about how he said, you know, this man walks in
(16:59):
love and that is that is Martin, and it's that
way on stage, off stage, at home. And also his humor.
He's extremely funny.
Speaker 10 (17:15):
Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy
right now, send us their way and hit that subscriberor
follow button so we can continue to bring you these
heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons more from this best of
My Legacy episode right after the break.
Speaker 6 (17:36):
Now back to My Legacy.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
So the interesting thing is the first episode of my
podcast on Purpose ever was me and Rady telling this
story together, and I always wanted to start the show
at a really authentic, genuine, conscious place, and I thought,
why not do it the person who knows me best
and knows me most deeply. And so the long story,
short version is I was in my final year of
(18:02):
college and I knew that I was going to become
a monk after I graduated, and I would go to
my local temple to serve and assist on the weekends
just to stay out of trouble. And when I was
doing that service, I was asked to show a woman
around who was around my mom's age, with different chores
and different practices at the temple. I'd never been asked
(18:23):
to do this before. This was the first time I
showed her around. She was very sweet, and then at
the end of it, she said to me, I had
a daughter that I'd love to introduce to spirituality and meditation.
And I said, well, I'm going to become a monk,
so I can introduce her to my younger sister who's
also involved in the community, and why don't you bring
her in? And so you know, that week she brought
(18:44):
her in and it happened to be my wife's mom
and Raley was her daughter who came in and I
introduced Radi and my sister, and I remember seeing Rady
and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
And I thought, no, no, no focus, focus, focussing to
become a monk, and so I kind of like shut
it out. And then when I came back from the monastery,
Radi and my sister had become best friends, and so
(19:06):
my sister was our matchmakers. So that's how we met.
Speaker 6 (19:10):
So Radi, I'm very, very curious. So you're at a
temple and you see this wonderful human being that was
training to be a monk, and what was going through
your mind when you first when you first met him.
Speaker 12 (19:30):
That's a really good question, you know, I he was
in like, he was in white robes at the time,
weren't you. Yeah, he was training to be a monk.
He was in white robes. He knew my mom. It
was like a very odd situation. My mom was introducing us,
and so when I saw him, it was it was
interesting because he had like tattoos in monk clothes, was
a very like, well spoken person, where normally, in my mind,
(19:53):
a monk was someone who was from India and I,
you know, usually would have to speak to them in
another language, and so it was kind of changing a
lot of narratives in my mind of what I expected
to see. When my mum was like, Oh, I want
to introduce you to this monk, so I think I
was readjusting to my expectations.
Speaker 6 (20:07):
And then I mean I.
Speaker 12 (20:09):
Started going to his classes and hearing him speak about spirituality,
and honestly, I think I felt in awe of him
through watching him in those spaces and in the community,
and you know, I ended up being an observer of
him rather than a friend at the beginning, because we
didn't really have a friendship or a relationship at all
when we first met. So it was quite nice seeing
(20:32):
him in his own environment doing something that he loved.
And so at first it was almost like he had
He felt like a teacher and a guide more than
he felt like someone that I was thinking I could
be with. But then when I became friends with his
sister and she kept telling me all these amazing things
about him, I was like, Oh, he's so sweet, and
they have the sweetest relationship he you know, he is
(20:53):
like a father figure to her and she loves him
so much, and I thought, well, someone who's got that
relationship with their sister, and usually your sibling has the
best and worst things to say about you. And she
just loved him so much, and so there was moments
where you know, I kept saying to I was like,
you know, I think I really like your brother, and
she was like, you can't. He's going to be a
monk for the rest of his life. Leave him alone.
(21:15):
She was like, I need you to leave him, Please
leave Yeah, please, I'm just telling you he wants to
be a monk forever. So yeah, I kind of gave
up on that idea. And so as soon as he
came out from being a monk and we got to
know each other, we both just realized how how right
we ended up being about each other, as he said,
and it was a nice surprise because it could have
gone both ways.
Speaker 6 (21:34):
You know, I love that, she said, fell in ahe
I want to ask you both, what simple thing does
your partner do to show that they love you.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
For me, the biggest one is I think when we
first got married and we moved to New York and
then we were kind of there for a couple of years,
then moving to la and We've just been through so
much change, and change that wasn't anticipating or expected, so
changed that we both had planned to live our whole
lives fifteen minutes from our local temple in England and
(22:09):
five minutes away from Radi's parents home. And actually that
was one of her requirements for us getting married, was
that she could be a one mile radius away from
her parents' home. And I'd committed to that, and I
genuinely had committed to that. It was something that I
thought was very real. All of our friends are in
that area, families in that area. It made sense. And
(22:32):
then all of a sudden, my career took a turn
in twenty sixteen when this part of my life started
to grow and it's continued to for the nine years, thankfully.
And if I'm completely honest, that was completely not part
of the plan, not my plan, not her plan, not
our plan, but it was what I couldn't even have
dreamed of. And not once in the last nine years
(22:58):
as Radi ever said to me, look what I gave
up for you, And oh God, I could cry saying this,
but it's one of those things. It's like I know
how much her parents mean to her now much her
family friends mean to her. I know how much London
means to her, and for her to move away, for
her to give that up when we didn't have clarity,
(23:21):
like you know, we're very fortunate today to have a
wonderful life, but getting here wasn't easy. I was away
a lot, I traveled a lot for work, I was
building things, moving around. And never once did she say,
I gave this all up for you. You're never around,
you work too hard. And I think that kind of trust,
(23:44):
without nagging, without making someone feel bad, when I was
already carrying the burden of it myself, And I think
that's the feeling that makes you feel loved where you're like,
I was already feeling that way myself. So if she
would have said it to me, probably would broken me.
But the fact that she didn't feel that she had
to say it to me makes me feel love. So
(24:08):
not blaming, not shaming, not pushing, not prodding is is.
It feels like a small thing, but actually it's huge.
And even at the most difficult times in our life,
whether we were financially struggling, you know, struggling with moving, changing,
whatever things were going on in our life, every time
(24:29):
i'd update her on what would happen, she'd always say,
I trust you, And hearing your partner say that when
you don't even know what's going to happen next is
the greatest sign of love. And so and and you know,
she radly decided to date me and commit to a
relationship with me when I had nothing to offer about myself,
(24:51):
and so that's a pretty big thing. She could have
married anyone she wanted to marry, and so her decision
to be with someone who didn't have a even a
secure job when I first started dating, and you know,
someone who'd been in the monastery for three years and
didn't have any sort of savings or any sort of plan,
I think it shows her character and her ability to
(25:13):
you know, go beyond material things. And the more recent one,
I mean, I could go on as well.
Speaker 12 (25:20):
I think the more recently shedn't need to get one.
Speaker 7 (25:24):
Radi's never let me define my self worth based on
my success. So when I first started to experience success,
Radi didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to.
And I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to
be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader and
(25:44):
she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize
if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was.
So if it came to my character, that's what she
was backing. She wasn't backing me because of my career,
and that took me. That helped me detach from valuing
myself based on the success of my career because I
(26:05):
think that's what I would have done and what I
would have wanted if she had fallen in that way.
And so her lack of validation for my career was
the greatest validation for.
Speaker 6 (26:18):
Caring great.
Speaker 7 (26:20):
But I think it's a cut and again going back
to the men point, I think a lot of men
like we want our partners to be like front row.
We want them to be the cheerleader, like we've we've
got that culture. And I'm not saying that my wife
isn't my cheerleader that, but I'm saying, your wife's cheerleading
your character, not your career. That's better because the career
is up and down, Like the career is going to
(26:41):
do whatever it's going to do, But your characters who
you are, like, what do you want to be loved for?
Do you want to be loved for the amount of
followers you have, or do you want to be loved
for who you are and how you show up and
what she believes you represent. And so I think it's
genuinely we're laughing about it, and it can have funny connotations,
but I want to clarify, Like the point is, I
think we all want to be loved for who we
are and not loved for what we achieve.
Speaker 12 (27:03):
I did start listening to your podcast last year.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Thank you for joining us for the best of my legacy.
New episodes drop every Tuesday. Don't forget to subscribe so
you never miss a moment.
Hosts And Creators
Craig Kielburger
Marc Kielburger
Martin Luther King III
Arndrea Waters King
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!