June 10, 2025 • 31 mins
Just in time for Father’s Day, My Legacy brings you unforgettable stories and wisdom from some of the most thoughtful dads we've had on the show.
Hosted by Martin Luther King III, Arndrea Waters King, Marc Kielburger, and Craig Kielburger, this special episode offers heartfelt conversations about the joys, struggles, and lasting lessons of being a dad.
- Martin Sheen opens up about vulnerability, addiction, and what it really means to show up for your kids—even when it hurts.
- Martin Luther King III shares rare childhood memories of Dr. King, revealing the quiet strength behind his father's famous message of nonviolence.
- Shark Tank’s Daymond John teaches his daughter the value of failure.
- Dr. Sanjay Gupta and his wife Rebecca reflect on parenting in a digital world.
- And comedian Larry Wilmore and his daughter Lauren offer laughter, life lessons, and the power of doing your best, not being the best.
To hear the full conversations, head to the My Legacy playlist wherever you get your podcasts.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
I had a very severe problem with alcohol, and then
when I saw that in them, when I was desperate
to help one of my children, it ruptured our relationship
because I was butting in, interfering, you know, and insisting,
and I went so far as to do I guess
(00:25):
the unthinkable, you know, I went to the authorities.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
What was that experience? Like fuse?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
It was devastating, you know, it just it just ruptured
our relationship.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
In this special Father's Day episode of My Legacy, host
Martin Luther King the Third Aren'trea Waters, King, Mark Kilberger,
and Craig Kilberger are sharing some of the best lessons
from their favorite dads. Shark Tank Mogul Damon John on
the one question to ask your kids every night. CNN's
doctor Sanja Gupta on raising teens in a digital world.
(00:56):
Martin Luther King the Third takes us inside the King home,
sharing lessons doctor King modeled as a dad, and the
best advice comedian and Any Winner Larry Wilmore gave his
kids first up. Beloved actor Martin Sheen on how to
show up even when it hurts.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So, Martin, you've raised four children, what do you hope
your children and grandchildren remember most about you.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You know, you have children as well, and you know
you can't love one more than the other, but you
love them all differently and because of their needs and you.
My greatest hope is that they will love each other
when we're gone, when Jane and I are gone their mother,
you know, Jana, and for that, you know, we have
(01:45):
grandchildren and great grandchildren now. But I see the love,
I see the commitment they have to, you know, a
moral frame of reference. None of them are Catholic, because
I didn't raise my kids Catholic, you know. But I
see a sense of their humanity and their best of all, well,
(02:09):
a reflection of who they are is in their sense
of humor, and in their sense of humor with me,
you know, they they take great pleasure, you know, to
get under my skin, you know, with my ego, with
like you know, I can imagine pouring the water in
your dad's ear and then fleeing. Well, they poured a
lot of stuff in my ear too, And I wasn't
(02:32):
as non violent as your dad. But you know they
rub you the wrong way. But your children, they are
the very they are reflection of the very best and
the very worst part of us. I remember somebody was once,
some famous person was asked what they would like to
be remembered for, and he said for about five minutes.
(02:54):
And I think that's okay. And you know the old
phrase heat that has offspring giveth hostages to the future.
You know, we do we it's it's an active faith,
it's an act of hope.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
What would you say, is the most difficult time that
you've had as a parent?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Uh, dealing with my own addiction. I'm being vulnerable and
they seeing me vulnerable and my image crumbled. And then
when I saw that in them?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
And what was that addiction to you?
Speaker 6 (03:33):
For those who don't know you as well?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
And how did you over my addiction?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Alcohol, Yeah, I had a very severe problem with alcohol.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
And how did you overcome that?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I overcome a visis I think I mentioned about. I
came back to the Catholic faith and I realized gradually,
and you know that that that that this was a
source of nourishment and grace that I could use to
let it go and I and I did. And then
a friend of mine who was in the AA the
(04:04):
twelve step program, when I was desperate to help one
of my children who had a severe problem. He said,
you should, you should get in the program. I said,
when I'm sober. He said, doesn't matter. You've got to
learn the skills.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
And how did you use that to help your child?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I wasn't able to because he had no formal teaching
in the faith or any faith, you know, but he
had a very generous and a very vulnerable spirit. So
I knew that he would not refuse me. But I
(04:44):
had to take that step.
Speaker 8 (04:45):
Assuming this is Charlie, Yeah, and what was that experience
like bonding as well?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
It didn't start out as bonding. It ruptured our relationship
because I was budding in interfering, you know, in insisting
that he acted a certain way. But I think my
persistence had a lot to do with it. I didn't
lay him off the hook, and I went so far
as to do I guess the unthinkable, you know. I
(05:13):
went to the authorities and said, uh, you know, I
know this guy and he's he's uh, he's abusing his
uh his uh probation.
Speaker 8 (05:23):
What was that experience like few?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
It was devastating because he he you know, it just
it just ruptured our relationship.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
And where's your relationship now?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
It's like I don't know anyone like him. You know.
I go to mass you know, every every weekend, and
so he will call and say something about, well, we
got to get I said, well, I have to get
to the Oh you're still into that. Oh well, lots
of luck with that, you know. But he when he
clowns about it. And yet I know that what he's
really doing is he he wants to see it in action.
(05:57):
He wants to see it in me. I'm the only
one that he's going to find that in, you know,
on a regular basis. And the fact that I've kept
it up for the last forty years means something to him.
So I know what he's doing. You know, he wants
me to prove it. In some sense, you can't prove
your faith, but you live it.
Speaker 9 (06:17):
What do you love most about him?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
His vulnerability. He was so vulnerable, and he was so
he was so aware of people's needs. You know, I
never saw him unkind to a person need, whether it
was a fan or somebody on the set or a
homeless person. His compassion, he was an inspiration. He just
(06:47):
I would just stand back and say, Jesus, my son,
look how extraordinary he is. I'm eighty four years old now,
and I'm often asked you I think about death, and
I respond, of course, I think about it every day.
I think I've got a shorter future than I have
a longer passed. I get less frightened of it, although
I'm not looking forward to it, but I have to
(07:10):
include it in every breath, because you know, these days
we live in very, very vicarious and peculiar times. To
say the least. I love Richard ROR's comment he said
that we don't go to heaven, we become heaven. My
greatest fear is a sudden and unprovided departure, you know.
(07:33):
So that I didn't get a chance to tell someone
that I loved, how much I loved, how grateful I was,
and to those that I refused to love that I'm
sorry that I didn't and it was my loss. And
will you forgive me. I hope that I have time
to do that.
Speaker 7 (07:50):
Since we're talking about your father and nonviolence, I wondered
if you could share, since I've never got to ask
you this anything about what you learned from him personally
about nonviolence? How do we teach nonviolence and live nonviolence?
And it seems to me sometimes your dad had it
in his DNA to be gentle. For me, it's kind
(08:12):
of a struggle, and I gave it. A National Convention
on nonviolence a couple of years ago. I brought Jim
Lawson in and I said, I want you to talk
about doctor King's nonviolence. And he goes, John doesn't know nonviolence.
If Martin were here, he'd say, nonviolence is power. We're
not powerless. We have the power through nonviolence to change
(08:34):
the world through love and truth. I'm thinking of that
time you were marching with your father and you held
his hand I read in a book and you felt
the peace that he knew. Can you tell me what
you learned from your dad about nonviolence?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Well, I think first of all, what was learned was
this has to be a way of life, a commitment.
You can't practice it one day. Except for that time
where he became angry with us because we poured water
in his ears, his children, and so he was That's
(09:09):
the only time I really ever saw him angry. He
didn't get he didn't quite whip us, but he was
on the way.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
What you have to I never heard that tell us.
Speaker 7 (09:19):
You have to tell us that, because you're saying you
never saw him no otherwise.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I never remember seeing him angry. I always saw him
he was always very measured and disciplined. And I think
that's what in a relationship to nonviolence. It has to
be a discipline because we are human beings. We're going
to be upset, be angry. And as I said, now,
he was asleep and he was exhausted. And because our experience,
(09:47):
you were well, yeah, I guess that the way. We
didn't see it that way at the time, but our
experience was whenever Dad came home, his entire attention was
devoted to were fulfilling us as his children. So it
was like I got to play with them. And this
is looking back thinking about it, because I'm gone all
(10:08):
the time and I don't have a large quantity of time,
but the quality of time I want to use to
fulfill my kids. So we wanted to play and he
was asleep. So somebody, it wasn't me, but somebody with
a smart idea, let's pour water in Dad's ear. And
then that was not a good experience.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
It was.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It was frightening because of course we did that and
ran and he ran after us. He didn't whip us,
he didn't catch us.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That day.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I qualified that day.
Speaker 10 (10:41):
But the rest of the time he was no he
was he was always measured and always the same kind
of love that he provided for us as a father,
although it was a father.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Son for the daughter relationship, he provided to everything.
Speaker 7 (10:57):
That's the one time in your eleven years you saw
him get even like upset. He was gentle non violence. Yes,
he was practicing what he preached right, and I think
that's what the movement needs today. We all have to
reach doctor King's level of non violence.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I think yes, ideally, but I also think there's a
practical and real side of human beings and it doesn't
mean we can't get there. We have to always aspire.
Just like you know we talk about a perfect union, Well,
we're never going to be perfect, but we can always
aspire to that.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Up next, Foolboo founder Shark Tank mogul Damon John shares
the question he asks his daughter every night and why
failure is a lesson not a loss, and doctor Sanje
Gupta share smart, real life tips for parenting in a
digital world.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Now back to my legacy, Damn.
Speaker 11 (11:57):
So many people shared with us how excited they were
the opportunity to hear from you partially because you've inspired
so many people who want to follow in your footsteps. Now,
one thing I don't know if you want to always realizes,
was your journey wasn't linear, It wasn't always easy. And
one thing I love how you've been relating to people
by being very open about how when you were younger
(12:17):
you hadeslexia. School was not an easy pathway. It was
a bit of an unconventional journey in high school. Can
you take us back to that so that people see
today this billion dollar success, but they don't always understand
the origin story.
Speaker 12 (12:29):
I mean, the origin is, you know, I think it's
an American dream.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
I think that it is.
Speaker 12 (12:36):
You know, I was less fortunate than many and I
was way more fortunate than most of the people on
the planet. I had a house, and I had clean
drinking water, right so, and I had access to food
and electricity. But you know, we only know what we
come from. It came from, you know, a place that
was riddle like most of the you know, American communities
riddle with crack, and most of my friends became drug dealers.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
Side.
Speaker 12 (13:00):
That's not a path that I wanted, but I was dyslexic.
Eight of the twelve Sharks are actually dyslexic child.
Speaker 11 (13:08):
I almost wanted people to share that on social media
for the family.
Speaker 12 (13:10):
That's why it. Branson is dyslexic, Barber's alexic, Kevin's a lexic,
I believe Rohans aslexic, and there and because of dyslexic,
I've got the other three. So you know. So I
didn't do well in school, like I left back in
the seventh grade. I didn't go to college, but I
applied myself and started working. But I did realize I
(13:32):
was hanging out as well because I grew up in Hollis,
Queens and almost majority of at that time, a lot
of the famous rappers came from their local Jay Salt
and Pepper's Trip, Coal Quest and all that I was on.
I was on these big tours since I was fourteen
years old. I became too cool for school. But then
I turned around. I was laughing at the kids who
were going to college in school. I laughed at all
(13:54):
the band geeks as they call it, and the nerds. Well,
those band geeks became people like doctors and Timblin right
in Pharrell, and the nerds became Zuckerberg and Baso. I
remember I was working at Red Lobster right around twenty
one years old. All those kids I was laughing at,
not that I knew Zuckerbergery of those people. And I'm
just using an example. I remember all those kids that
I laughed at that were going to college investing in
(14:16):
their future. Well they were coming back now and I
was in Red Lobster serving them shrimp, and I was like, well,
I'm the idiot. And I started to double down and
try to get any form of education I could. I
would and being dyslexic challenge, but I would read a
book a week, I would find mentors, I would go
and apply and do a lot of different things. I
(14:37):
was reading the sales sheets at Red Lobster finding out
how this large corporation was making money. Well, they needed
help back a year ago, but they were making money
back then. And then I started to invest in things
I love to do, which was this fashion and I
used what I call the power broke. I realized that
(14:57):
you know the sixty five percent a lot of winners
and athletes that broke three years after leaving the league
because they don't know how to use the tool of money.
And another sixty or seventy percent of Forbes wealthy. This
one thousand people are self made men and women. That's
like the men and women in this room and listening
to this podcast. So obviously, money is just a tool.
(15:17):
And I started to use what was around me as
normal angres. Well, I knew rappers, why don't you wear that?
You know, while I knew this, why don't you do that?
And it slowly grew. I had a lot of challenges.
I started food within eighty nine. I closed it three
times from eighty nine to ninety two because I ran
out of money. I found my beautiful three partners who
believed in me. After that, now there were ten people
who believed in me, most of them didn't stay around.
(15:39):
Was those three that believed in me. And then by
nineteen ninety nineteen ninety eight, I was doing three hundred
and fifty million dollars a year. Now, that's a long story.
I started in eighty nine. In nineteen ninety eight, I
started to make I started get public recognition after failing
three times. But you know, that's the American dream. That's
why when we look at you know, people like me
(15:59):
and all of us on Shark Tank, we all went
through that process.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Have you failed since then? I failed?
Speaker 12 (16:06):
I try to fail every day when I talk to
my daughter all night when we go to bed, When
she goes to bed, she's eight years old, I tell
her how daddy failed that day and how Daddy succeeded.
And I asked her how will she fail? And how
did she fail that day? They maybe I planned on
doing this and I didn't get to this, and I
was late for a meeting. And you should never be
late because when you're late, you make the other person
feel like they're not of value, and whatever the case is.
(16:28):
So she gets used to understanding that failure is a
part of the process and that it comes along with successes.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Santra, your work has touched countless people. Millions are inspired
by your message. But I've heard you say when we
had dinner that at the heart of all you do,
the heart of your purpose, is your three daughters. So
how is being a dad affected how you think of
purpose and legacy?
Speaker 6 (16:53):
Not only a dad, but a girl dad, teenage girl dad.
Speaker 8 (16:57):
It doesn't make him reach out to boys a little
bit like, hey guys.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
No, it's a it's a it's a it's a great question.
And then again, I'll just say this is what's so
nice about these conversations, because I think life moves so
fast you don't often reflect on on that sort of thing.
It's just my life. I'm a teenage girl dad, and
so the idea of how it changed me, I don't know.
I don't know what to compare it to. I don't
know what I would have been like had I not
done this, but I will. I will say this. It
feels very natural. I feel like there's there's times when
(17:28):
I've said to Rebecca, I feel like I manifested my
destiny in a way that this was how it was
supposed to unfold. So that's a good feeling, as opposed
to feeling out of sorts or like something doesn't work
or belong. I'll be honest. I think a lot of
people think about their legacy, and I think that's important
to the extent that it drives them to do good
things in the world. But to think about yourself in
(17:51):
retrospect generations down the line, who knows. We live in
a really flimsy world, and people's attitudes and beliefs, soystems
and all these things change. So all that to say
we don't think about legacy in a conventional sense that way,
except when it comes to our girls, they are the legacy.
That's it.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
What do you love most being a girl?
Speaker 7 (18:12):
Dad?
Speaker 6 (18:12):
What?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
What?
Speaker 7 (18:13):
What gets you up in the morning?
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Having that wonderful title.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
They they challenge me in a in a tell.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Us, tell us, tell us what you know? I think.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
I think when you're understand this.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
When you're a neuroscientist, I think part of what drives
you is that you're you're consistently trying to find logic
in the world, and there are things that are just
they defy logic, and you have to get comfortable with that.
You know, you have to get comfortable with the uncertainty.
So you know, the idea of walking down in the
kitchen in the morning and never really knowing for sure
(18:48):
it's it's it's it's wonderful if you lean into it. Yes,
you know, if it scares you, then you know you
got to readjust but you get.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
A Mark got two daughters asking very personally, and we've
got one amazing daughter here among the King family as well.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Sonjay. On your podcast Chasing Life, you've explored the effects
of social media on kids, even going as far as
interviewing your daughters, who you call the real experts. How
do you and Rebecca help them navigate a healthy balance
between social media and real world connections.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
I will tell you one thing that I found interesting, though,
is that they did this camp over the summer where
there was no phones allowed, and it was a couple
of weeks.
Speaker 8 (19:33):
Right, Yeah, They always did that every summer, and.
Speaker 6 (19:36):
They come back super happy, super happy from this. And
I made the observation that, hey, you know this thing
that you are using all the time, you didn't use
it at all, and you're super happy. And my youngest,
who's I think a very wise child, she said to me,
she said, you know, it's called social media. And I said,
I get it. She goes, I was totally social. I
had all these people in my own age. I was
(19:57):
with them all the time. I was interacting in a
social wad. That's what I'm really trying to do. But
in the United States, many households have become more siloed off,
and so having that type of village social interaction, all
the kids playing together in the in the street, you know,
or in the playground whatever, you know, that you don't
see that as much. So this is is it is
(20:17):
filled a gap for them. It's there's problems, you know,
and I think you know, the devices are designed to
be addictive in a way, but it does at the
same time serve a purpose that I think is very
human evolutionarily, Like they want to be together. If they
can't be together physically, then they want to be together
virtually digitally, and.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
That feels different to them, I think than to us.
I mean, since they were raised with it, and you know,
we're just like you all, like we're trying to balance
between the two because just taking it away, it's not
they won't be prepared. They're not prepared for digital world,
and they are using it also sometimes in a way
that is connection. And I do think for for us,
(21:00):
connection is all physical. But perhaps since our kids are
being you know, they're nurtured in the digital world. You know,
part of their connection is social, like you know, like digitally.
Speaker 8 (21:13):
And you'll notice a big difference when they start driving,
because then they can go and be social where that
is such a huge difference in our society too, Like
it's when it becomes the parent's responsibility to get them
here and get them there, they spend less time. It's
we're controlling it too much, and so they spend less time,
(21:34):
like I said, having those study groups or doing those things.
And when they do have that autonomy to like go
out meet a front for coffee and go over you know,
history or something, they start doing it, and the and
the phone and the social media becomes less and less
and less.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
I'm smiling at my husband across the table. We're seeing
that already.
Speaker 8 (21:54):
Literally suddenly you're like, wow, well, I mean, because we
have all this technology, then tells us how much time
our kids are off social media. And we look at
our daughter who's in college and now she's living with
her so rority sisters, that kind of stuff, and she's
rarely ever on it, and she used to be our
(22:14):
biggest person on it. So it's a social thing.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
I'll tell you three quick things that she came up with.
Rebecca came up with as far as if people are
thinking about social media for their kids. One is that
we made an agreement that we actually could have access
to their accounts, so kind of the ability to lurk. Now,
we didn't really do it much, but they knew that
we could. Number two was and every now and then
(22:38):
we would peek in to see what was going on.
Number two was that no friends online that you couldn't
touch in the real world. I want to be able
to touch that person physically or is this somebody who's
totally made up?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Right?
Speaker 6 (22:51):
And the third thing, which Rebecca mentioned is that your
technology allows you to monitor screen time, so you can
get indicators that there's too much screen time being used
on Snapchat or Instagram. And it can even cut off
after a certain amount of time. So you know those
three things. Again, it's a brave new world for everybody
when it comes to this, but I think they've worked
(23:12):
well for our three teenage girls.
Speaker 8 (23:14):
Yeah, we did have a cut off at a certain
time at night and turn back on at a certain
time in the morning. Yeah, because sleep is really important exactly,
and it is hard when they're up studying or need
to get the you know, lost that paper or something
that they want to reach out. I think technology and
(23:34):
social media is not going to go away. It's learning
how to make it work for you and thinking about
what is the main reason that it is in their lives,
and then how do you work around that.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy
right now, send us their way and hit that subscribe
or follow buttons so we can continue to bring you
these heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons. More from this Best
of My Legacy episode right after the break.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Now back to My Legacy now, Larry, who our origin
story is so important to all of us and who
raised us had a phenomenal impact, good, bad, or indifferent. Now,
you grew up the middle child of six kids in California,
but your family has roots in the Midwest. Yes, and
so I'm really curious. I'm sure our listeners are who
(24:31):
would you consider the most influential person of your childhood?
Speaker 13 (24:36):
Of course, you know, my parents very influential in different ways.
You know, my parents got divorced when I was young,
but I was able to get different things from both parents,
sometimes in different ways.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
You know.
Speaker 13 (24:52):
My mom went through a lot, you know, she really
dealt with a lot of emotional issues, but there was
a strength about her and a resilience about her that
I really admired, you know, even going through it. And
my dad was a person who it seemed like he
just kept his own ideas about himself when he was
(25:12):
out in the world, like the world didn't affect him,
and he was a civil servant.
Speaker 7 (25:15):
He worked.
Speaker 13 (25:16):
He was a probation officer at a time, and it
wasn't easy for black people who you know, working those
kinds of jobs. But he always had a sense of
humor about it, and I always admired the way he
treated people. I also grew up at a time when
your neighborhood kind of raised you. Our next door neighbors
were very important to raising us. We called them Bebie
and Uncle Henry were their names. There were an older
couple from Texas had all that homespun old school like
(25:39):
knowledge and everything like she made peach jam and candid.
Speaker 7 (25:42):
You know.
Speaker 13 (25:42):
It was that type of growing up, and we all
had fruit trees in our backyards. But the last part
of it was I was so lucky. I had influential
teachers who at certain points in my life were just
there at the right time. And there was a thread
through some of my most important teachers. They always appreciated individuality, uniqueness,
it's okay to be different, you know. And one of
(26:06):
the biggest ones of that, I'll say briefly, was my
seventh grade teacher. He and his wife are from Peru.
I went to Catholic school. They were the late teachers there,
and he saw that I was like making jokes and
stuff like during school, me and my friends, and he
came to me and said, he said, Okay, Larry, here's
the thing. I'm gonna make a deal with you. After lunch,
(26:26):
there's like fifteen minutes when I'm trying to get everybody's
attention and all that stuff. You can have that as
joke time, okay, and you could get up and do
whatever you went in front of the class. And I
was like, Okay, that sounds fantastic. He says, but in return,
I don't want to hear a peep out of you
for the rest of the day.
Speaker 8 (26:41):
And I'm like, you're done.
Speaker 13 (26:43):
That's the fantastic deal.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 13 (26:46):
And he was so influential In fact, I remember he
gave us a math question that he said, nobody can
figure this out. If you do, I'll make I'll cook
you a steak dinner. Of course, my brain wentn't stop.
I figured it out, and sure enough he and his
wife invited me into their home cooked me and steak dinner.
I'll never forget that teacher was so influential in how
he dealt with students and inspired us he used to
(27:07):
play the guitar every day in class. It's just great,
mister and missus Rebello. Yeah, they were awesome, just the
best teachers ever. So teachers, family, you know, and neighbors
and neighbors.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
And now, Lauren, how did you see the values your
dad grew up with influence the way that he parented
you and your brother?
Speaker 9 (27:29):
You know, it's so interesting When he was saying teachers
and family, I was like, that is such a theme
in my life so many people. First of all, many
people in my family are teachers on both sides. And
I'm an actor, but my day job is teaching Mandarin
to kids. And I also have so many teachers that
have influenced me. Yeah, beside Bard.
Speaker 13 (27:52):
And a quick dad, like she also teaches French. That's
just a quick dad.
Speaker 9 (27:59):
But I have so many teachers that have influenced me
as well. And part of what inspired me to become
a teacher was knowing how much your life can change
from one good teacher who sees you and values you
and helps nudge you along your path. And also the
importance of family, especially since twenty twenty, like we've all
(28:22):
just been really clinging on to our family the past
five years, and we've lost a lot of family members,
but it has really brought all of us closer and
we've just really been finding as many ways as possible
to just like support each other and all of that
throughout this time. So, yeah, those two You happen to
(28:42):
mention those two values, and I think those are big
themes in my life.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
That apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
So, Lauren, your dad's known for certainly sharp humor and
ability to challenge perspectives through comedy. He certainly is a
big deal in Hollywood. What what's something you and your
brother maybe tease him about that reminds you that he's
(29:10):
just dad.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
You know.
Speaker 9 (29:13):
It's so funny because I was thinking about this and
I was like, what don't we tease him about? But
also what doesn't he tease us about? You know that,
Like it's a lot of mutual teasing in our household.
There's just always this back and forth of silliness and goofiness.
And I think one thing that and feel free if
(29:35):
you think of anything dad. But a lot of times
if he does a joke that I feel like goes
a little too far, I'll give him two thumbs and
He's always like, whoa, oh, no, two thumbs down. I
feel he'd probably use it anyway. But that's a fun
little thing that I do. But I don't know, can
you think of anything?
Speaker 10 (29:57):
Lauren?
Speaker 13 (29:58):
Is great because I can see how far I'm being
provocative thumb thumbs up or thumbs downs. You know, when
I get two thumbs down, I'm like, oh, I'm touching
a nerve here.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
So, Lauren, you know you've watched your dad navigate Hollywood
and said he taught you a lot about resilience. What
is one of the most important pieces of vice that
he's given you in terms of.
Speaker 9 (30:22):
Navigating I think this just for life, not even just
for you know, being in the in show business. But
he always said to John and I, you don't have
to be the best, you have to be your best.
And that stuck with me because I am a recovering perfectionist,
(30:43):
and you know, like just knowing that it wasn't and
that kind of takes off the energy of competition as
well of having to beat other people out for something,
but just focusing on living up to your potential and
shining your light as opposed to trying to dim someone
(31:04):
else's so that you can get to the top. I
mean that applies to just everything ever in life, but
certainly in show business. And I've really come to understand
that more the past couple of years that I've been
here in New York and finding my community here and
my friends, and we're all just constantly lifting each other
up because that's the only way to you know, that's
(31:25):
the only way to live. You can't be always trying
to push other people down. And so I really appreciated that,
and that I always knew that from both of my parents.
It wasn't about getting a certain grade or a certain thing.
It was just well, did you work hard, did you
try your best? Okay, well, there you go. That's it.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Thanks for joining us for this best of episode of
My Legacy. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss
an episode.
I had a very severe problem with alcohol, and then
when I saw that in them, when I was desperate
to help one of my children, it ruptured our relationship
because I was butting in, interfering, you know, and insisting,
and I went so far as to do I guess
(00:25):
the unthinkable, you know, I went to the authorities.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
What was that experience? Like fuse?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
It was devastating, you know, it just it just ruptured
our relationship.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
In this special Father's Day episode of My Legacy, host
Martin Luther King the Third Aren'trea Waters, King, Mark Kilberger,
and Craig Kilberger are sharing some of the best lessons
from their favorite dads. Shark Tank Mogul Damon John on
the one question to ask your kids every night. CNN's
doctor Sanja Gupta on raising teens in a digital world.
(00:56):
Martin Luther King the Third takes us inside the King home,
sharing lessons doctor King modeled as a dad, and the
best advice comedian and Any Winner Larry Wilmore gave his
kids first up. Beloved actor Martin Sheen on how to
show up even when it hurts.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
So, Martin, you've raised four children, what do you hope
your children and grandchildren remember most about you.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
You know, you have children as well, and you know
you can't love one more than the other, but you
love them all differently and because of their needs and you.
My greatest hope is that they will love each other
when we're gone, when Jane and I are gone their mother,
you know, Jana, and for that, you know, we have
(01:45):
grandchildren and great grandchildren now. But I see the love,
I see the commitment they have to, you know, a
moral frame of reference. None of them are Catholic, because
I didn't raise my kids Catholic, you know. But I
see a sense of their humanity and their best of all, well,
(02:09):
a reflection of who they are is in their sense
of humor, and in their sense of humor with me,
you know, they they take great pleasure, you know, to
get under my skin, you know, with my ego, with
like you know, I can imagine pouring the water in
your dad's ear and then fleeing. Well, they poured a
lot of stuff in my ear too, And I wasn't
(02:32):
as non violent as your dad. But you know they
rub you the wrong way. But your children, they are
the very they are reflection of the very best and
the very worst part of us. I remember somebody was once,
some famous person was asked what they would like to
be remembered for, and he said for about five minutes.
(02:54):
And I think that's okay. And you know the old
phrase heat that has offspring giveth hostages to the future.
You know, we do we it's it's an active faith,
it's an act of hope.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
What would you say, is the most difficult time that
you've had as a parent?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Uh, dealing with my own addiction. I'm being vulnerable and
they seeing me vulnerable and my image crumbled. And then
when I saw that in them?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
And what was that addiction to you?
Speaker 6 (03:33):
For those who don't know you as well?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
And how did you over my addiction?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Alcohol, Yeah, I had a very severe problem with alcohol.
Speaker 7 (03:42):
And how did you overcome that?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
I overcome a visis I think I mentioned about. I
came back to the Catholic faith and I realized gradually,
and you know that that that that this was a
source of nourishment and grace that I could use to
let it go and I and I did. And then
a friend of mine who was in the AA the
(04:04):
twelve step program, when I was desperate to help one
of my children who had a severe problem. He said,
you should, you should get in the program. I said,
when I'm sober. He said, doesn't matter. You've got to
learn the skills.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
And how did you use that to help your child?
Speaker 1 (04:23):
I wasn't able to because he had no formal teaching
in the faith or any faith, you know, but he
had a very generous and a very vulnerable spirit. So
I knew that he would not refuse me. But I
(04:44):
had to take that step.
Speaker 8 (04:45):
Assuming this is Charlie, Yeah, and what was that experience
like bonding as well?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
It didn't start out as bonding. It ruptured our relationship
because I was budding in interfering, you know, in insisting
that he acted a certain way. But I think my
persistence had a lot to do with it. I didn't
lay him off the hook, and I went so far
as to do I guess the unthinkable, you know. I
(05:13):
went to the authorities and said, uh, you know, I
know this guy and he's he's uh, he's abusing his
uh his uh probation.
Speaker 8 (05:23):
What was that experience like few?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
It was devastating because he he you know, it just
it just ruptured our relationship.
Speaker 7 (05:33):
And where's your relationship now?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
It's like I don't know anyone like him. You know.
I go to mass you know, every every weekend, and
so he will call and say something about, well, we
got to get I said, well, I have to get
to the Oh you're still into that. Oh well, lots
of luck with that, you know. But he when he
clowns about it. And yet I know that what he's
really doing is he he wants to see it in action.
(05:57):
He wants to see it in me. I'm the only
one that he's going to find that in, you know,
on a regular basis. And the fact that I've kept
it up for the last forty years means something to him.
So I know what he's doing. You know, he wants
me to prove it. In some sense, you can't prove
your faith, but you live it.
Speaker 9 (06:17):
What do you love most about him?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
His vulnerability. He was so vulnerable, and he was so
he was so aware of people's needs. You know, I
never saw him unkind to a person need, whether it
was a fan or somebody on the set or a
homeless person. His compassion, he was an inspiration. He just
(06:47):
I would just stand back and say, Jesus, my son,
look how extraordinary he is. I'm eighty four years old now,
and I'm often asked you I think about death, and
I respond, of course, I think about it every day.
I think I've got a shorter future than I have
a longer passed. I get less frightened of it, although
I'm not looking forward to it, but I have to
(07:10):
include it in every breath, because you know, these days
we live in very, very vicarious and peculiar times. To
say the least. I love Richard ROR's comment he said
that we don't go to heaven, we become heaven. My
greatest fear is a sudden and unprovided departure, you know.
(07:33):
So that I didn't get a chance to tell someone
that I loved, how much I loved, how grateful I was,
and to those that I refused to love that I'm
sorry that I didn't and it was my loss. And
will you forgive me. I hope that I have time
to do that.
Speaker 7 (07:50):
Since we're talking about your father and nonviolence, I wondered
if you could share, since I've never got to ask
you this anything about what you learned from him personally
about nonviolence? How do we teach nonviolence and live nonviolence?
And it seems to me sometimes your dad had it
in his DNA to be gentle. For me, it's kind
(08:12):
of a struggle, and I gave it. A National Convention
on nonviolence a couple of years ago. I brought Jim
Lawson in and I said, I want you to talk
about doctor King's nonviolence. And he goes, John doesn't know nonviolence.
If Martin were here, he'd say, nonviolence is power. We're
not powerless. We have the power through nonviolence to change
(08:34):
the world through love and truth. I'm thinking of that
time you were marching with your father and you held
his hand I read in a book and you felt
the peace that he knew. Can you tell me what
you learned from your dad about nonviolence?
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Well, I think first of all, what was learned was
this has to be a way of life, a commitment.
You can't practice it one day. Except for that time
where he became angry with us because we poured water
in his ears, his children, and so he was That's
(09:09):
the only time I really ever saw him angry. He
didn't get he didn't quite whip us, but he was
on the way.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
What you have to I never heard that tell us.
Speaker 7 (09:19):
You have to tell us that, because you're saying you
never saw him no otherwise.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
I never remember seeing him angry. I always saw him
he was always very measured and disciplined. And I think
that's what in a relationship to nonviolence. It has to
be a discipline because we are human beings. We're going
to be upset, be angry. And as I said, now,
he was asleep and he was exhausted. And because our experience,
(09:47):
you were well, yeah, I guess that the way. We
didn't see it that way at the time, but our
experience was whenever Dad came home, his entire attention was
devoted to were fulfilling us as his children. So it
was like I got to play with them. And this
is looking back thinking about it, because I'm gone all
(10:08):
the time and I don't have a large quantity of time,
but the quality of time I want to use to
fulfill my kids. So we wanted to play and he
was asleep. So somebody, it wasn't me, but somebody with
a smart idea, let's pour water in Dad's ear. And
then that was not a good experience.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
It was.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
It was frightening because of course we did that and
ran and he ran after us. He didn't whip us,
he didn't catch us.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That day.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I qualified that day.
Speaker 10 (10:41):
But the rest of the time he was no he
was he was always measured and always the same kind
of love that he provided for us as a father,
although it was a father.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Son for the daughter relationship, he provided to everything.
Speaker 7 (10:57):
That's the one time in your eleven years you saw
him get even like upset. He was gentle non violence. Yes,
he was practicing what he preached right, and I think
that's what the movement needs today. We all have to
reach doctor King's level of non violence.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I think yes, ideally, but I also think there's a
practical and real side of human beings and it doesn't
mean we can't get there. We have to always aspire.
Just like you know we talk about a perfect union, Well,
we're never going to be perfect, but we can always
aspire to that.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Up next, Foolboo founder Shark Tank mogul Damon John shares
the question he asks his daughter every night and why
failure is a lesson not a loss, and doctor Sanje
Gupta share smart, real life tips for parenting in a
digital world.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Now back to my legacy, Damn.
Speaker 11 (11:57):
So many people shared with us how excited they were
the opportunity to hear from you partially because you've inspired
so many people who want to follow in your footsteps. Now,
one thing I don't know if you want to always realizes,
was your journey wasn't linear, It wasn't always easy. And
one thing I love how you've been relating to people
by being very open about how when you were younger
(12:17):
you hadeslexia. School was not an easy pathway. It was
a bit of an unconventional journey in high school. Can
you take us back to that so that people see
today this billion dollar success, but they don't always understand
the origin story.
Speaker 12 (12:29):
I mean, the origin is, you know, I think it's
an American dream.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
I think that it is.
Speaker 12 (12:36):
You know, I was less fortunate than many and I
was way more fortunate than most of the people on
the planet. I had a house, and I had clean
drinking water, right so, and I had access to food
and electricity. But you know, we only know what we
come from. It came from, you know, a place that
was riddle like most of the you know, American communities
riddle with crack, and most of my friends became drug dealers.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
Side.
Speaker 12 (13:00):
That's not a path that I wanted, but I was dyslexic.
Eight of the twelve Sharks are actually dyslexic child.
Speaker 11 (13:08):
I almost wanted people to share that on social media
for the family.
Speaker 12 (13:10):
That's why it. Branson is dyslexic, Barber's alexic, Kevin's a lexic,
I believe Rohans aslexic, and there and because of dyslexic,
I've got the other three. So you know. So I
didn't do well in school, like I left back in
the seventh grade. I didn't go to college, but I
applied myself and started working. But I did realize I
(13:32):
was hanging out as well because I grew up in Hollis,
Queens and almost majority of at that time, a lot
of the famous rappers came from their local Jay Salt
and Pepper's Trip, Coal Quest and all that I was on.
I was on these big tours since I was fourteen
years old. I became too cool for school. But then
I turned around. I was laughing at the kids who
were going to college in school. I laughed at all
(13:54):
the band geeks as they call it, and the nerds. Well,
those band geeks became people like doctors and Timblin right
in Pharrell, and the nerds became Zuckerberg and Baso. I
remember I was working at Red Lobster right around twenty
one years old. All those kids I was laughing at,
not that I knew Zuckerbergery of those people. And I'm
just using an example. I remember all those kids that
I laughed at that were going to college investing in
(14:16):
their future. Well they were coming back now and I
was in Red Lobster serving them shrimp, and I was like, well,
I'm the idiot. And I started to double down and
try to get any form of education I could. I
would and being dyslexic challenge, but I would read a
book a week, I would find mentors, I would go
and apply and do a lot of different things. I
(14:37):
was reading the sales sheets at Red Lobster finding out
how this large corporation was making money. Well, they needed
help back a year ago, but they were making money
back then. And then I started to invest in things
I love to do, which was this fashion and I
used what I call the power broke. I realized that
(14:57):
you know the sixty five percent a lot of winners
and athletes that broke three years after leaving the league
because they don't know how to use the tool of money.
And another sixty or seventy percent of Forbes wealthy. This
one thousand people are self made men and women. That's
like the men and women in this room and listening
to this podcast. So obviously, money is just a tool.
(15:17):
And I started to use what was around me as
normal angres. Well, I knew rappers, why don't you wear that?
You know, while I knew this, why don't you do that?
And it slowly grew. I had a lot of challenges.
I started food within eighty nine. I closed it three
times from eighty nine to ninety two because I ran
out of money. I found my beautiful three partners who
believed in me. After that, now there were ten people
who believed in me, most of them didn't stay around.
(15:39):
Was those three that believed in me. And then by
nineteen ninety nineteen ninety eight, I was doing three hundred
and fifty million dollars a year. Now, that's a long story.
I started in eighty nine. In nineteen ninety eight, I
started to make I started get public recognition after failing
three times. But you know, that's the American dream. That's
why when we look at you know, people like me
(15:59):
and all of us on Shark Tank, we all went
through that process.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
Have you failed since then? I failed?
Speaker 12 (16:06):
I try to fail every day when I talk to
my daughter all night when we go to bed, When
she goes to bed, she's eight years old, I tell
her how daddy failed that day and how Daddy succeeded.
And I asked her how will she fail? And how
did she fail that day? They maybe I planned on
doing this and I didn't get to this, and I
was late for a meeting. And you should never be
late because when you're late, you make the other person
feel like they're not of value, and whatever the case is.
(16:28):
So she gets used to understanding that failure is a
part of the process and that it comes along with successes.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
Santra, your work has touched countless people. Millions are inspired
by your message. But I've heard you say when we
had dinner that at the heart of all you do,
the heart of your purpose, is your three daughters. So
how is being a dad affected how you think of
purpose and legacy?
Speaker 6 (16:53):
Not only a dad, but a girl dad, teenage girl dad.
Speaker 8 (16:57):
It doesn't make him reach out to boys a little
bit like, hey guys.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
No, it's a it's a it's a it's a great question.
And then again, I'll just say this is what's so
nice about these conversations, because I think life moves so
fast you don't often reflect on on that sort of thing.
It's just my life. I'm a teenage girl dad, and
so the idea of how it changed me, I don't know.
I don't know what to compare it to. I don't
know what I would have been like had I not
done this, but I will. I will say this. It
feels very natural. I feel like there's there's times when
(17:28):
I've said to Rebecca, I feel like I manifested my
destiny in a way that this was how it was
supposed to unfold. So that's a good feeling, as opposed
to feeling out of sorts or like something doesn't work
or belong. I'll be honest. I think a lot of
people think about their legacy, and I think that's important
to the extent that it drives them to do good
things in the world. But to think about yourself in
(17:51):
retrospect generations down the line, who knows. We live in
a really flimsy world, and people's attitudes and beliefs, soystems
and all these things change. So all that to say
we don't think about legacy in a conventional sense that way,
except when it comes to our girls, they are the legacy.
That's it.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
What do you love most being a girl?
Speaker 7 (18:12):
Dad?
Speaker 6 (18:12):
What?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
What?
Speaker 7 (18:13):
What gets you up in the morning?
Speaker 5 (18:14):
Having that wonderful title.
Speaker 6 (18:18):
They they challenge me in a in a tell.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Us, tell us, tell us what you know? I think.
Speaker 5 (18:23):
I think when you're understand this.
Speaker 6 (18:24):
When you're a neuroscientist, I think part of what drives
you is that you're you're consistently trying to find logic
in the world, and there are things that are just
they defy logic, and you have to get comfortable with that.
You know, you have to get comfortable with the uncertainty.
So you know, the idea of walking down in the
kitchen in the morning and never really knowing for sure
(18:48):
it's it's it's it's wonderful if you lean into it. Yes,
you know, if it scares you, then you know you
got to readjust but you get.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
A Mark got two daughters asking very personally, and we've
got one amazing daughter here among the King family as well.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Sonjay. On your podcast Chasing Life, you've explored the effects
of social media on kids, even going as far as
interviewing your daughters, who you call the real experts. How
do you and Rebecca help them navigate a healthy balance
between social media and real world connections.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
I will tell you one thing that I found interesting, though,
is that they did this camp over the summer where
there was no phones allowed, and it was a couple
of weeks.
Speaker 8 (19:33):
Right, Yeah, They always did that every summer, and.
Speaker 6 (19:36):
They come back super happy, super happy from this. And
I made the observation that, hey, you know this thing
that you are using all the time, you didn't use
it at all, and you're super happy. And my youngest,
who's I think a very wise child, she said to me,
she said, you know, it's called social media. And I said,
I get it. She goes, I was totally social. I
had all these people in my own age. I was
(19:57):
with them all the time. I was interacting in a
social wad. That's what I'm really trying to do. But
in the United States, many households have become more siloed off,
and so having that type of village social interaction, all
the kids playing together in the in the street, you know,
or in the playground whatever, you know, that you don't
see that as much. So this is is it is
(20:17):
filled a gap for them. It's there's problems, you know,
and I think you know, the devices are designed to
be addictive in a way, but it does at the
same time serve a purpose that I think is very
human evolutionarily, Like they want to be together. If they
can't be together physically, then they want to be together
virtually digitally, and.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
That feels different to them, I think than to us.
I mean, since they were raised with it, and you know,
we're just like you all, like we're trying to balance
between the two because just taking it away, it's not
they won't be prepared. They're not prepared for digital world,
and they are using it also sometimes in a way
that is connection. And I do think for for us,
(21:00):
connection is all physical. But perhaps since our kids are
being you know, they're nurtured in the digital world. You know,
part of their connection is social, like you know, like digitally.
Speaker 8 (21:13):
And you'll notice a big difference when they start driving,
because then they can go and be social where that
is such a huge difference in our society too, Like
it's when it becomes the parent's responsibility to get them
here and get them there, they spend less time. It's
we're controlling it too much, and so they spend less time,
(21:34):
like I said, having those study groups or doing those things.
And when they do have that autonomy to like go
out meet a front for coffee and go over you know,
history or something, they start doing it, and the and
the phone and the social media becomes less and less
and less.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
I'm smiling at my husband across the table. We're seeing
that already.
Speaker 8 (21:54):
Literally suddenly you're like, wow, well, I mean, because we
have all this technology, then tells us how much time
our kids are off social media. And we look at
our daughter who's in college and now she's living with
her so rority sisters, that kind of stuff, and she's
rarely ever on it, and she used to be our
(22:14):
biggest person on it. So it's a social thing.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
I'll tell you three quick things that she came up with.
Rebecca came up with as far as if people are
thinking about social media for their kids. One is that
we made an agreement that we actually could have access
to their accounts, so kind of the ability to lurk. Now,
we didn't really do it much, but they knew that
we could. Number two was and every now and then
(22:38):
we would peek in to see what was going on.
Number two was that no friends online that you couldn't
touch in the real world. I want to be able
to touch that person physically or is this somebody who's
totally made up?
Speaker 4 (22:50):
Right?
Speaker 6 (22:51):
And the third thing, which Rebecca mentioned is that your
technology allows you to monitor screen time, so you can
get indicators that there's too much screen time being used
on Snapchat or Instagram. And it can even cut off
after a certain amount of time. So you know those
three things. Again, it's a brave new world for everybody
when it comes to this, but I think they've worked
(23:12):
well for our three teenage girls.
Speaker 8 (23:14):
Yeah, we did have a cut off at a certain
time at night and turn back on at a certain
time in the morning. Yeah, because sleep is really important exactly,
and it is hard when they're up studying or need
to get the you know, lost that paper or something
that they want to reach out. I think technology and
(23:34):
social media is not going to go away. It's learning
how to make it work for you and thinking about
what is the main reason that it is in their lives,
and then how do you work around that.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Know, someone who's searching for a little inspiration or joy
right now, send us their way and hit that subscribe
or follow buttons so we can continue to bring you
these heartfelt conversations and unforgettable lessons. More from this Best
of My Legacy episode right after the break.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Now back to My Legacy now, Larry, who our origin
story is so important to all of us and who
raised us had a phenomenal impact, good, bad, or indifferent. Now,
you grew up the middle child of six kids in California,
but your family has roots in the Midwest. Yes, and
so I'm really curious. I'm sure our listeners are who
(24:31):
would you consider the most influential person of your childhood?
Speaker 13 (24:36):
Of course, you know, my parents very influential in different ways.
You know, my parents got divorced when I was young,
but I was able to get different things from both parents,
sometimes in different ways.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
You know.
Speaker 13 (24:52):
My mom went through a lot, you know, she really
dealt with a lot of emotional issues, but there was
a strength about her and a resilience about her that
I really admired, you know, even going through it. And
my dad was a person who it seemed like he
just kept his own ideas about himself when he was
(25:12):
out in the world, like the world didn't affect him,
and he was a civil servant.
Speaker 7 (25:15):
He worked.
Speaker 13 (25:16):
He was a probation officer at a time, and it
wasn't easy for black people who you know, working those
kinds of jobs. But he always had a sense of
humor about it, and I always admired the way he
treated people. I also grew up at a time when
your neighborhood kind of raised you. Our next door neighbors
were very important to raising us. We called them Bebie
and Uncle Henry were their names. There were an older
couple from Texas had all that homespun old school like
(25:39):
knowledge and everything like she made peach jam and candid.
Speaker 7 (25:42):
You know.
Speaker 13 (25:42):
It was that type of growing up, and we all
had fruit trees in our backyards. But the last part
of it was I was so lucky. I had influential
teachers who at certain points in my life were just
there at the right time. And there was a thread
through some of my most important teachers. They always appreciated individuality, uniqueness,
it's okay to be different, you know. And one of
(26:06):
the biggest ones of that, I'll say briefly, was my
seventh grade teacher. He and his wife are from Peru.
I went to Catholic school. They were the late teachers there,
and he saw that I was like making jokes and
stuff like during school, me and my friends, and he
came to me and said, he said, Okay, Larry, here's
the thing. I'm gonna make a deal with you. After lunch,
(26:26):
there's like fifteen minutes when I'm trying to get everybody's
attention and all that stuff. You can have that as
joke time, okay, and you could get up and do
whatever you went in front of the class. And I
was like, Okay, that sounds fantastic. He says, but in return,
I don't want to hear a peep out of you
for the rest of the day.
Speaker 8 (26:41):
And I'm like, you're done.
Speaker 13 (26:43):
That's the fantastic deal.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 13 (26:46):
And he was so influential In fact, I remember he
gave us a math question that he said, nobody can
figure this out. If you do, I'll make I'll cook
you a steak dinner. Of course, my brain wentn't stop.
I figured it out, and sure enough he and his
wife invited me into their home cooked me and steak dinner.
I'll never forget that teacher was so influential in how
he dealt with students and inspired us he used to
(27:07):
play the guitar every day in class. It's just great,
mister and missus Rebello. Yeah, they were awesome, just the
best teachers ever. So teachers, family, you know, and neighbors
and neighbors.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
And now, Lauren, how did you see the values your
dad grew up with influence the way that he parented
you and your brother?
Speaker 9 (27:29):
You know, it's so interesting When he was saying teachers
and family, I was like, that is such a theme
in my life so many people. First of all, many
people in my family are teachers on both sides. And
I'm an actor, but my day job is teaching Mandarin
to kids. And I also have so many teachers that
have influenced me. Yeah, beside Bard.
Speaker 13 (27:52):
And a quick dad, like she also teaches French. That's
just a quick dad.
Speaker 9 (27:59):
But I have so many teachers that have influenced me
as well. And part of what inspired me to become
a teacher was knowing how much your life can change
from one good teacher who sees you and values you
and helps nudge you along your path. And also the
importance of family, especially since twenty twenty, like we've all
(28:22):
just been really clinging on to our family the past
five years, and we've lost a lot of family members,
but it has really brought all of us closer and
we've just really been finding as many ways as possible
to just like support each other and all of that
throughout this time. So, yeah, those two You happen to
(28:42):
mention those two values, and I think those are big
themes in my life.
Speaker 4 (28:46):
That apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
So, Lauren, your dad's known for certainly sharp humor and
ability to challenge perspectives through comedy. He certainly is a
big deal in Hollywood. What what's something you and your
brother maybe tease him about that reminds you that he's
(29:10):
just dad.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
You know.
Speaker 9 (29:13):
It's so funny because I was thinking about this and
I was like, what don't we tease him about? But
also what doesn't he tease us about? You know that,
Like it's a lot of mutual teasing in our household.
There's just always this back and forth of silliness and goofiness.
And I think one thing that and feel free if
(29:35):
you think of anything dad. But a lot of times
if he does a joke that I feel like goes
a little too far, I'll give him two thumbs and
He's always like, whoa, oh, no, two thumbs down. I
feel he'd probably use it anyway. But that's a fun
little thing that I do. But I don't know, can
you think of anything?
Speaker 10 (29:57):
Lauren?
Speaker 13 (29:58):
Is great because I can see how far I'm being
provocative thumb thumbs up or thumbs downs. You know, when
I get two thumbs down, I'm like, oh, I'm touching
a nerve here.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
So, Lauren, you know you've watched your dad navigate Hollywood
and said he taught you a lot about resilience. What
is one of the most important pieces of vice that
he's given you in terms of.
Speaker 9 (30:22):
Navigating I think this just for life, not even just
for you know, being in the in show business. But
he always said to John and I, you don't have
to be the best, you have to be your best.
And that stuck with me because I am a recovering perfectionist,
(30:43):
and you know, like just knowing that it wasn't and
that kind of takes off the energy of competition as
well of having to beat other people out for something,
but just focusing on living up to your potential and
shining your light as opposed to trying to dim someone
(31:04):
else's so that you can get to the top. I
mean that applies to just everything ever in life, but
certainly in show business. And I've really come to understand
that more the past couple of years that I've been
here in New York and finding my community here and
my friends, and we're all just constantly lifting each other
up because that's the only way to you know, that's
(31:25):
the only way to live. You can't be always trying
to push other people down. And so I really appreciated that,
and that I always knew that from both of my parents.
It wasn't about getting a certain grade or a certain thing.
It was just well, did you work hard, did you
try your best? Okay, well, there you go. That's it.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
Thanks for joining us for this best of episode of
My Legacy. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss
an episode.
Hosts And Creators
Craig Kielburger
Marc Kielburger
Martin Luther King III
Arndrea Waters King
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