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October 9, 2025 16 mins

World Mental Health Day is a chance to reset, reflect, and protect your peace. In this special re-air of My Legacy, Jay Shetty and his wife Radhi Devlukia share practical tools for resilience, healing, and connection. 

From the power of sleep to the practice of inner child work, they open up about the habits and mindset shifts that help us move through struggle and find calm in a disconnected world. 

Together, we explore: 

  • Why quality sleep is the foundation for well-being 
  • How healing your inner child transforms self-talk 
  • What it takes to move through fear and find belonging 
  • The “third space” we all need for mental health 

Don’t miss an episode – subscribe now for new episodes every Tuesday and bonus drops every Thursday. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is my legacy. In honor of World Mental Health Day,
this week's bonus Drop revisits our powerful conversation with New
York Times bestselling author and podcast host Jay Shetty. Together
with his incredible wife, Roddy Devlukia. They open up about resilience, healing,
and finding calm in a disconnected world. Let's jump in.

Speaker 2 (00:22):
Jay, You've interviewed some of the most remarkable people in
the world and gained their insight and wisdom on issues
about happiness and living a fulfilled life. I'd like to
ask you if there's one or two things from one
of your guests or multiple guests that have really impacted
your thinking in those areas.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
When I think about my guests, I definitely think about
a lot of the incredible experts we've had on sleep.
And the reason I bring up sleep is because I
think it's the one habit that incredibly impacts every other habit.
When you get a good night's sleep, you're less likely

(01:04):
to eat foods that are bad for you, You're more
likely to have the energy to work out, You're going
to feel more motivated and focused at work. It's the
domino effect, and what I've learned about sleep is that
a lot of us are not trying to build up
our sleep like we build up other parts of our life.
We want to gain mastery at our careers, we want

(01:24):
to get good at our relationships, but so much of
that is based on the quality of our sleep. If
you have slept well, you're less irritable, you're less agitated,
you're less likely to get angry or frustrated when something
doesn't go your way because you have that foundational calm.
And so for me, the things I've learned about sleep,

(01:45):
the first is set a bedtime routine. Try and sleep
at the same time every single day, again at least
five days a week. Second is, try and sleep in
what's known as cave like darkness. A lot of us
today have flashing lights from TVs, from remote controls, from
our phones, whatever it may be. Try and sleep in
cave like darkness as best as you can. Try and

(02:06):
sleep in a temperature that's sixty three to sixty eight
sixty nine fahrenheit, that's the recommended temperature, slightly cooler. We
actually sleep better when it's a little bit cooler than
what we think. And the last one is have a
bedtime routine. You know, eat a few hours before you
get into before you're going to go to bed, stop

(02:27):
looking at phone an hour before bed, really create that
energy to be able to switch off. And so sleep
has been something I've focused on with a lot of
my amazing guests, and the fulfillment and sleep can give
so much fulfillment and peace in life. I think it
would change so much of our day. And the other
one I'd say that has really moved me is a
lot of the advice that I've received on people talking

(02:51):
about childhood trauma and the need to revisit our inner child.
I think what we don't realize is so much of
what we see today is not someone's adult self, but
their child's self stuck in their adult body. And so
when you're looking at someone, if you were to look
at them as a child, you could actually understand why

(03:12):
they say the things they do, and why they demand
the things they want, and why they behave the way
they do, and why they act the way they do
because it's their child's self. And I think if all
of us were able to look at not just other
people that way, but look at ourselves that way, and
look at our child self and say, where have I
not fulfilled my childhood dreams. Where have I not met

(03:36):
my child in a child? Where have I not really
reconciled with that in a child? I think life would
change incredibly. I think the way we talk to ourselves.
I think if we talk to ourselves as if we
were talking to a younger child, we would transform the
hate and the harshness and the pain that we inflict

(03:56):
on ourselves, just through the self criticism and self judgment
and the self harsh talk that we have in our
mind constantly, from the moment we wake up and we
look in the mirror and comment on our weight, to
the moment we go to work and comment on our intellect,
and the moment we get home and comment on our
effort and enthusiasm. We're constantly criticizing ourselves, and so I

(04:20):
think the need to see each other as children, see
ourselves as children, makes such a big difference and would
hugely transform the planet we live on. And there's a
beautiful quote by Russell Barkley that I love where he
said that the people who need the most love often
ask for it in the most unloving ways. And I
think that's what we are. The child self in us

(04:43):
we're not asking for love in adult ways. We're asking
for love in childlike ways. And if we can heal
that and recognize that in ourselves and the people around us,
then we have the opportunity to truly have maturity, which
is what I think we're also deeply looking for and seeking.

Speaker 4 (05:00):
You know, from my experience, it's often the struggles that
define who we are. Many times we know the glory,
but we don't necessarily know the story of the individual.
So Jay, can you share or take us back to

(05:21):
one of the toughest moments in your journey and what
ultimately it taught you.

Speaker 3 (05:30):
It's so interesting, isn't it. When you're asked to think
about a tough moment in your life, you almost just
see it as your life, and so you don't I
don't know. I never grew up. I only recognize when
I got older and I spoke to people about experiences
I went through that they were tough, because up until
that point they were just my life and they just
felt normal. And you kind of assume everyone's going through

(05:52):
those things, and so I think we all walk around
thinking that everyone should understand us because they went through
the same thing. And the truth is we don't understand
each other because we went through very different things, and
until you meet someone who's gone through something that you
can connect with or resonate with, it's really hard to
reconcile it. I think for me, a big part of

(06:15):
it was that I grew up in a home that
I mediated my parents' marriage, and I would say that
that was the most challenging thing growing up, because I
didn't wake up to a great environment, and I think
for me, that made me who I am today, and

(06:35):
so I have a lot of gratitude for that and
appreciation for that. But I think a lot of people
see me and the work I do today, and they
often see the marriage I have with my wife today
in our connection and relationship, and it comes from just
having a long list of what not to do. And
so I think often in life, you could get an

(06:56):
amazing experience, and when you get that, you should write
down everything you should do, and sometimes you're going to
get a really painful experience, and in that you should
write down everything you should never do. And so partly
what I'm grateful to have today is a list of
what not to do in a relationship. And I'm very
grateful that I got those lessons and those messages because

(07:18):
they allowed me to really be conscious about who I
wanted to be, what I wanted to build, how I
wanted to grow. And so that was very very early
on in my life, and I really believe that today.
The reason why I have the ability to listen to
people and their pain, and why I feel empathetic and
compassionate to pretty much all experiences is because I remember

(07:43):
doing that for my parents.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Well, Jay, we're so inspired by that context of how
you've become such an incredible voice, Raddie, I wanted to
ask you a question. You've dedicated so much of your
life to helping others heal. What's a moment in your
life where you've had to heal yourself.

Speaker 5 (08:00):
That's a good question. I feel like I'm healing on
a daily basis. But I'd say a place where I
felt I needed the most amount of growth and noticed
the most amount of growth was when me and Ja
first got married. We moved to New York and it
was the first time i'd really moved away from family,
moved away from home, moved to a place where I
pretty much knew nobody, and we were starting from scratch

(08:24):
and I grew up as the youngest child, where most
things were done for me. I was whether it was
like me doing my homework late, my sister would stay
up late and help me, whether any part any decision
I would make, my mom would help me make it.
You know, I really wasn't used to doing things for
myself or by myself, and so when we moved to

(08:44):
New York, I also had been studying for a long time,
only to move with Jay to have a spouse visa
where I couldn't work, And so I found myself in
a weird position of just feeling lost and having to
get to know myself in ways that I never had before.
I was able to hide by hind and the work
I did, or my family or the community I was
part of, and all of that was kind of stripped

(09:06):
away from me to only come to realize I absolutely
did not know myself at all.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
I didn't know.

Speaker 5 (09:11):
How to choose colors of things that I liked. I
didn't know how to make decisions for myself. I didn't
know whether I wanted something or didn't. And so it
became this journey that of just starting to learn about
who I actually was. Like I grew up just thinking
I wanted what my family wanted or I liked what

(09:32):
my sister liked, because I didn't spend the time to
really get to know what my wants or needs were.
And so I spent a lot of my time in
New York walking around, well one crying over crying down
the streets, which seemed really normal in New York no
one seemed to care for, and then having to do
some seriously deep work of figuring out what is it

(09:53):
that I like and dislike and want in my life.
And so I'd say that took a lot of heat
because I had to also unlearn things that I had
I thought that I knew about myself based on other people,
and I had to realize that those were all views
from others and perceptions of others that I had to

(10:14):
step away from because maybe I didn't want that narrative
of myself and I wanted to create a new one. So, yeah,
they say that was probably the time I've had to
heal the most.

Speaker 7 (10:24):
Scrolling won't change your life, but subscribing just might tap
that button and stay connected to conversations that kept.

Speaker 8 (10:34):
Now back to my legacy, we obviously have laughed a
lot today together and that's that's that's wonderful, and it's
so important we have to be very transparent that right now,
it's it's very difficult for so many people, and so
many people feel such an overwhelming fear, you know, disconnection.

Speaker 6 (11:01):
And so I would really I am curious to hear
from both of you, what would you offer to people
that are that are feeling that that fear, that that disconnection,
that the overwhelm, the the stress.

Speaker 8 (11:22):
Good question.

Speaker 5 (11:25):
Uh, you know, the first thing that came to mind
for me is whenever I feel like things are out
of my control or I feel like overwhelmed at what's
happening around me, or even in our own life, Uh,
there's this every time I feel like it's just me,
the problem feels really difficult to handle. But as soon
as I think the problem is me plus God, or

(11:48):
me plus the universe or something that has a much
higher power than I do, it starts to feel a
little bit more manageable. And so I find that prayer
for me has always been such a beautiful place to
come to when all other hope feels lost. I think
I get a lot of solace in prayer, and I

(12:09):
think that also connects to the idea that if we
can feel way more disconnected when we don't feel connected
to ourselfs, and so whether it's practices and rituals to
actually connect deeper to ourself that allows us to connect
deeper to other people and have meaningful connections with others
that help us through those times. I think reconnecting every

(12:32):
single day in some way to who you are and
having those moments are really important to be able to
connect to someone else, to be able to feel understood
or valued by other people. And yeah, I think for me,
the main one always ends up being prayer because I'm like,
at this point, I can't control anything, so I'm leaving
it up to you. But yeah, I would love to

(12:53):
hear some of yours.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
There's something called the third space theory, and it's this
idea that just around twenty five fifty years ago, we
had three spaces we lived in, we had home, we
had work, and then we had church or temple, synagogue, mosque.
And what happened is that those three spaces shrunk to

(13:17):
two spaces. We went from work to home and home
to work, and now we all know that those two
places have shrunk into one place. We work from home,
and we live at home. And what's happened is not
that we've just lost three spaces, but we've lost what
that third space provided us. So what happened at church

(13:38):
or the community center or a place of gathering was
you had a space to look back on work and
home and state and everything else and reflect on how
could I be better? What could I do differently? Let's
figure out together what the solution is, what can we
all band to do together. So the biggest challenge today

(13:59):
is that we're all feeling the same feeling, but we're
feeling it on our own. We're lonely feeling the same thing.
And there's a big difference between being lonely feeling something
and feeling belonging in feeling something. And so what I
would encourage everyone to do is go and find your
third space. Go and find your space of belonging. Go

(14:22):
and find your space of connection. Go and find that
space where you're with people of equal value, where you
can share your heart, when you can hear other people's,
when you can open up your mind, where you can
carry someone else's burden. I think we've just lost that
as a society, and I think these moments are great
reminders that we are stronger when we are working together,

(14:44):
we are better when we're working together, and ultimately, when
we're united and carrying each other's weight, the weight doesn't
feel as large. And I think that's the biggest challenge today,
is that we're all carrying the weight on our own
and so finding that third space, creating that third space
if you don't have it. The third space doesn't have
to be two hundred people, two thousand people, twenty thousand people.

(15:07):
It can literally be four people in a room that
are reading scripture together, that are starting a book club,
that are listening to this podcast and sharing what they
learned from you and all your amazing guests that you've
had on It starts that small, and I really feel
that we have to create that third space, even because
right now our third space is all of us sitting

(15:28):
in front of the television, and the TV screen is
the third space, the phone screen is the third space,
and that third space isn't giving you what the original
third space gave you.

Speaker 7 (15:40):
Jin Reddi, thank you for sharing your wisdom, your love
with each other in that beautiful, authentic way. The extraordinary
challenges that you've laid in front of us of how
we can all our listeners and our viewers do small
but deeply intentional things every day in our lives.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Thank you for joining us. If you enjoy today's conversation, subscribe, share,
and follow us on at my Legacy movement on social
media and YouTube. New episodes drop every Tuesday, with bonus
content every Thursday. At its core, this podcast honors doctor
King's vision of the beloved community and the power of connection.

(16:20):
A Legacy Plus studio production distributed by iHeartMedia creator and
executive producer Suzanne Hayward Come executive producer Lisa Lyle. Listen
on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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