May 8, 2025 • 19 mins
In this heartfelt Mother’s Day Bonus Drop, we go deeper with Sarah Jakes Roberts and her mother, Serita Jakes, for an intimate, tear-filled conversation about the invisible legacy mothers pass on. From stories of resilience and gentle parenting to redefining what power looks like for women, this is a celebration of the women who shape us – often quietly, always profoundly.
You’ll hear surprising moments, like Mrs. Jakes' “gangster” side, laughter over failed childhood punishments, and Sarah’s lessons on surrender, soft power, and raising the next generation with love and truth.
This is the episode to share with every mother, mentor, and nurturer in your life.
Bonus Drops land every Thursday. If you missed the full episode with Sarah and Mrs. Jakes, catch it anytime in the My Legacy playlist.
Hosted by Martin Luther King III, Arndrea Waters King, Marc Kielburger, and Craig Kielburger
Creator and Executive Producer: Suzanne Hayward
Co-Executive Producer: Lisa Lisle
Editor Duane Fogwelll
Post-production producer Tina Pittaway
A/V by A. Britton Dream Production Co.
Produced in partnership with iHeart Podcasts and Executive Producer Gabrielle Collins.
Like our podcast? Visit http://youtube.com/@mylegacymovement to see full episodes.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This is my legacy. Welcome to this week's bonus Drop. Today,
in honor of Mother's Day, we're celebrating the women who
shape us and wage the world rarely sees. You'll hear
more from our powerful conversations with Sarah Jakes Robbers and
her incredible mother, Serena Jakes, going deeper into their relationship
to understand the love, the sacrifice, and the life lessons
(00:24):
that shape Sarah to the incredible leader she is today.
This is an episode to share with every mother, mentor,
and nurturer who's helped you become who you are.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Let's go, Missus Jakes.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
People see Sarah's platform today, and one way I can
say it is people see the glory but really don't
know the story. Because we often think we know someone
through what we've seen, But then when you really hear
(00:57):
the triumphs, the overcoming, it lands a different way. When
is it that you, Missus Jakes saw the spark and
Sarah knew that she was not going to just survive,
but actually thrive.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
You know, someone asked me something very similar the other
day about Sarah and her drive and her inclination to
be more than what she was, or to go after
what she wanted to go after. And I would say
that was in a ride to church one Sunday morning
as an infant, she cried for thirty minutes, the whole
(01:42):
entire drive.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
What did y'all do to me? Okay, I have the
whole story.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
It was interesting and it was like she will not
be denied. Or then when she would get cold, I'm cold, daddy,
and he would take off his coat. I'm hungry, daddy.
He would pull over to McDonald's. Sarah has a way
of talking you into being who God intends for you
(02:10):
to be and to do it right now. She I mean,
she has the way of I call her my first
lady because Sarah speaks so much truth to me when
I need to hear it in a way that I
need to hear it that has encouraged me to move forward.
She's phenomenal at getting in your head and regulating your heart,
(02:37):
and so.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
She does that.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
I see it on the stage. I see it with
her children, I see it with her husband, I see
it with her siblings. She's the one that always brings logic.
So when everybody's in an uproar, Sarah's the one that
says soul how do you feel about that, what's making you,
what's triggering you. You know, she gets in your head
(03:00):
so that you can govern your heart. So I think
that she's always been a force to be reckoned with.
And even in her brokenness, she overcame. She did whatever
she had to do to take care of her son,
whatever she needed to do to take care of her household,
Even in a marriage that was in all disarray. She
(03:22):
was never the one to come over and say, I'm
so sick of him, I'm tired of him. We never
knew until she'd had enough. And when a woman's fed.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Up, it's too late to talk about it.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Yeah, can I say, though, to the point of the
podcast being about legacy, this is my belief. So when
people hear me speak, I think the low hanging fruit.
The easy thing to say is, oh my God, she's
stepping into her father's footsteps, and she's doing exactly what
her father did. And I honor my father, and I
believe so much about what I understand about God and
(03:58):
people is a part of what I have seen him
demonstrate through his ministry and what he's allowed me to
be exposed to. However, I will say that I believe
wholeheartedly that I am the woman in ministry that my
mother did not have permission to be.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
That's deep. I'm glad I've got on boots.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
When people talk about the things that they like about
me or love about me, they are all the things
that I attribute to my mother's presence in my life.
My mother was a woman at a different time, in
a different error, and women in ministry looked a lot
different when she was coming up, and my mother's ability
(04:50):
to give me permission to be who I was was
a seed that made me want to give other women
permission to be who they are. And so as much
I love that people see that connection between me and
my father.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Part of the reason why I even wanted her on here.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Is because she is the secret sauce of who I am,
and I feel like my legacy is to make sure
that my mother is remembered. My legacy is to make
sure that who she is lives on in the earth.
I've got her mother's obituary in my office. My kids
(05:28):
know about my granny. My granny died when I was
seven years old, and my kids know about her smelling
like cherry almond lotion and making sure that we are
all moisturized than fed, because I just feel like she's
too significant to be in anyone's shadow. And I think
every time the light is on me, it's on us
(05:49):
because I got to be who she wasn't able to
be at the time, and I just I love that
this is an opportunity for me to share who she
is with the world because I just I who I
am is just directly connected to who she is directly.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
And for all of our listeners who are listening and
not watching, your mom is tearing up everything that you've said.
She's she's just it's bringing tears.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
To her eyes.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
So it's you and to us here in the in
the room. So it's beautiful.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
I think anyone who's had obviously I won't speak for
everyone's experiences, but I know enough people who've had.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
You know a father who had.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
To go out and change the world and answer the
call that was on his life. The woman who says,
I'm going to stay home and make sure you have
somewhere to come home to.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
I'm gonna make sure the kids are good. I want
to make sure that when you need support, I'll be
there for you. I'll be both in some way. I
just don't know that that sacrifice is always fully seen
because the it is always on the person who is
maybe drawing the crowds and giving the speeches and saying
the words. And I just everyone in our house knows
(07:10):
that Mama is the glue. She's the heartbeat of our home.
And I mean it's just indisputable. She literally is the
people's champ. And she's like just so pint sized. You
would her voice is so soft you think, oh my god,
you wouldn't hurt a fly, honey.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
She'd take a fly and shoot it. She did. She
let her slip was shown a little bit. She just
lets us that. But she is She's just resilience encouraged.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I love too when you said the way in which
you said that she was doing both. You know, so
she was you know, at home and making sure that
the kids, when you know, were taken care of and
that you know, the household, and at the same time
she was also doing her ministry. So that balance the
(08:01):
power of doing both. Yeah, tremendous, phenomenal woman. Let's talk
a little bit more about you all's relationship and the
dynamic between that mother daughter relationship and Sarah, I guess
I'll start with you, and I would like to know
how have you worked through your own mother daughter wounds?
(08:24):
We all have them, right and what have you learned
about grace in that process, don't?
Speaker 6 (08:31):
I mean, I don't know that I felt like I
had mother wounds. My mother, she was really a gentle
parent before gentle parenting became a thing. I can remember
the one time we almost had an argument. I was
living in a townhouse. I remember I was laying in
the bed and she said something to me and I
(08:51):
didn't like it. And at this point, I was like nineteen,
but at my nineteen I was, you know, living on
my own. Gross, I was like grown. And she said
something and I didn't like it, and she goes, are
you mad at me? And I was like I think so,
and she was like what did I say? Like she
took the time to really unpack what it was. And
(09:12):
so I think that my mom being so approachable and
relatable made it easy for us to work through things.
She was always so open and honest about her story,
Like I'm telling you, the things that people enjoy the
are like my transparency, my vulnerability. My mother modeled that
for me and so I think maybe if I thought
(09:33):
of anything that maybe I had to expand and my definition.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Of motherhood, maybe it was giving.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Myself permission to have that transparency and vulnerability outside of
the context of more intimate relationships. I think to not
necessarily feel like I had to play into respectability in
certain spaces and to be okay being myself. I think
that maybe that was something. Do you ever cringe when
(10:01):
I'm saying things like, oh, You're not supposed to be
saying that, because I feel like sometimes in my head
I may be wondering, like, oh, my gosh, I hope
that I haven't gone too far in my mom's now.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And but missus Jakes, because as Sarah just said, the
whole gentle parenting, you know, that's that's a newer trend.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Right, I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
In the South, you know, that wasn't necessarily our experience
in the sense of did where did that come from?
Do you think is that just how.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
My aunt from the age of six months old until
I graduated high school, and so I was raised as
an only child. So I don't know. I just think
it's my personality. I think it's too much energy to
(10:54):
whip kids and screams.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
She wasn't good at it either. She wasn't good a whooping.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
The paper one time, and I can literally remember her
being like, so you're not I was not petrified. I
was right, now, you're not gonna cry. You're not gonna cry.
She was literally whooping me talking about so you're not
gonna cry. I was like, lady, man, if you call
that man, you get some tears out of me. But
you girl were playing girl, what's for dinner? So I
(11:25):
think she had to use her words. She wasn't very
good at it. You it is kind of your nature though,
like she doesn't really like confrontation. And then I think,
because she was raised by her aunt and as an
only child, even though she had other siblings, connection was
always really important to her. And so I think the
(11:48):
idea of whether it was like abandonment or whatever, the
idea of I don't want you to feel like you
have to leave me, or that I'm going to leave you,
I think it has made her work extra hard to
be present even in difficult moments. So you know me
so well, I just thinking about you.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Our daughter is a only child as well, and in fact,
at this point, she doesn't even have any cousins. She's
the only child, only grandchild on both both sides, and
I find that with her connection is very important because of.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
It so important, so important, I like, we'll talk later,
that abandonment. I don't want to run you away, you know,
I want you like I'll give you my doll if
you play with me, that sort of thing. And now,
even with the church, I take care of the little
me moms. I make sure on mothers stay that they
(12:41):
have something, the little kids have something. I'm a giver
by nature. I just got this whole bag where I'm
just cool like that everything that's for me.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
It's just it's.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Too much energy. It's too much to calm down.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
We'll say too.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
I think our personalities are very similar too, because I
have other siblings, And I think that our relationship was
probably a little bit easier for on my end because
I could relate to her. I could see so much
of myself and her that like she tells these stories
her brother was murdered when she was younger, and like
(13:23):
she tells a story about her and her friend plotting
to take the murderer out, Like it's one of my
favorite stories that she tells I'm a gangster, and like
the idea that you could be like this unassuming as
a gangster was intriguing to me. And but yeah, I've
been able feel okay, okay, yeah, so I've been able
(13:44):
to get to know her and get to know myself
in the process.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Okay, Well it's it's like you make me want to
call my mom right now and get a giant hug
of appreciation. And the minute we finished, I am. And
what's so amazing is listen into this exchange part because
I love that you're checking in with each other, like Sarah,
I love that you're checking in with her going like
is that okay that I'm not honest or that okay?
That vulnerable and reaffirming And I just, frankly, I feel
(14:11):
like this is just so personal of a moment for
us speel to witness this. So just deep gratitude to
both of you, folks. Thank you for sharing this with
all the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Listeners coming up on My Legacy, Sarah shares how she
stopped chasing power and found peace instead loved it. Please
hit like, follow and share this with someone learning to
trust the process.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Now back to My Legacy.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Now in your most recent book and you have quite
a bit. You're prolific writer. Power moves. You talk about
redefining what success and power mean, which is a critical
conversation for any of us, and most especially I I
think for women to really think about what power means
(15:04):
and what would you say that most women get wrong
about the notion of power and their own power.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
That's a great question.
Speaker 6 (15:16):
Part of the reason why I wrote this book is
because I was having different conversations with women who were
pursuing their doctorates, they were starting their businesses, they were
climbing the corporate ladder. But then they were also talking
about I want to be in my soft girl era,
and they felt like, in order for me to climb
the ladder, I have to betray my need to want
to also be solved, or if I'm going to be sold,
(15:37):
then I have to abandon this idea that I also
want to be a boss. And I wanted women to
understand that power has different expressions, and what makes you
powerful as a CEO may be different than what makes
you powerful as a partner, and that may be different
than what makes you powerful as a friend. And so
when I am leading one of our organizations, like I
(15:59):
need to be assertive. I need to be clear about
my vision. I need to be focused. But when I
am leading my children, I need to be attentive. I
need to listen. And that power has different expressions, but
they're both power. And I wanted to offer women an
invitation to liberation and allowing power to be defined on
their own terms and to experience that power in a
(16:20):
way that was authentic for them, because I felt like
we're chasing someone else's definition of what it means to
be powerful without ever checking in with ourselves. Even with
my husband, you know, I grew up feeling like, you know,
I need to make dinner and needs to be on
the table at a certain time. I need to keep
the house clean. And my husband was like, you could
order in. I want to sit down and watch Chicago
PD for you. And so what I thought would make
(16:42):
me a powerful wife was not what made me his
powerful wife. His powerful wife was watching Void and at
Water go chase down suspects in Chicago PD.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
And so surrendering these preconceived notions of power and letting
power be fluid. Power moves.
Speaker 6 (16:59):
It's not about making a power move, It's about allowing
power to move and be fluid. And that was the
offering that I could offer women at that time in
my life because I was seeing how fluid power was.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
And you just use the term surrender. So, because I
know that you've said before that surrender is the only
path to victory, what do you say to women who
feel like letting go means giving up?
Speaker 6 (17:27):
M Yeah, I mean, first of all, I totally relate
to that because I know what it feels like to
be giving up because we are experiencing defeat or experiencing disappointment.
And yet I would offer these women an opportunity to
reconsider that giving up is sometimes the only way that
we can experience restoration. When I think about surrender, I'm
(17:51):
thinking about someone holding onto something so tight, like you
can see their knuckles turning white, like they're just ignoring
anything that's happening because they're clinching what whatever it is
they're holding on to. For some of the women, it's career,
it's dreams of motherhood.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
You're holding on to.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
It's so tight that you don't realize what all is
available to you in any given moment. And so surrender
is giving your hands a break, is giving your heart
a break, It's giving your mind, a break from forcing
a reality that is obviously not happening right now and
allowing yourself to reset and recenter. And for me, surrender
(18:27):
is finding a way. It's finding a way. It is
a pursuit. It is not always going to be easy,
but it is finding the way to say, if this
never happens, if this never returns, I'm still worthy, I'm
still valuable. I can still have peace and I can
still have joy. But strategy, creativity, it needs a vast playground,
(18:47):
right and sometimes we don't always experience that vast playground
because we insist that it happened one specific way.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
But if we can.
Speaker 6 (18:55):
Believe that peace comes in different shapes and size, is
that joy comes in different shapes? In side, is that
success comes in different shapes and sizes, we may be
willing to surrender our way to experience another way that
still gives us to that ultimate destination of fulfillment.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Thank you for joining us. If you enjoyed today's conversation, subscribe, share,
and follow us at my Legacy movement on social media.
New episodes drop every Tuesday, with bonus content every Thursday
until next time. May you find inspiration to live your legacy,
This is my legacy. Welcome to this week's bonus Drop. Today,
in honor of Mother's Day, we're celebrating the women who
shape us and wage the world rarely sees. You'll hear
more from our powerful conversations with Sarah Jakes Robbers and
her incredible mother, Serena Jakes, going deeper into their relationship
to understand the love, the sacrifice, and the life lessons
(00:24):
that shape Sarah to the incredible leader she is today.
This is an episode to share with every mother, mentor,
and nurturer who's helped you become who you are.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Let's go, Missus Jakes.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
People see Sarah's platform today, and one way I can
say it is people see the glory but really don't
know the story. Because we often think we know someone
through what we've seen, But then when you really hear
(00:57):
the triumphs, the overcoming, it lands a different way. When
is it that you, Missus Jakes saw the spark and
Sarah knew that she was not going to just survive,
but actually thrive.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
You know, someone asked me something very similar the other
day about Sarah and her drive and her inclination to
be more than what she was, or to go after
what she wanted to go after. And I would say
that was in a ride to church one Sunday morning
as an infant, she cried for thirty minutes, the whole
(01:42):
entire drive.
Speaker 5 (01:43):
What did y'all do to me? Okay, I have the
whole story.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
It was interesting and it was like she will not
be denied. Or then when she would get cold, I'm cold, daddy,
and he would take off his coat. I'm hungry, daddy.
He would pull over to McDonald's. Sarah has a way
of talking you into being who God intends for you
(02:10):
to be and to do it right now. She I mean,
she has the way of I call her my first
lady because Sarah speaks so much truth to me when
I need to hear it in a way that I
need to hear it that has encouraged me to move forward.
She's phenomenal at getting in your head and regulating your heart,
(02:37):
and so.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
She does that.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
I see it on the stage. I see it with
her children, I see it with her husband, I see
it with her siblings. She's the one that always brings logic.
So when everybody's in an uproar, Sarah's the one that
says soul how do you feel about that, what's making you,
what's triggering you. You know, she gets in your head
(03:00):
so that you can govern your heart. So I think
that she's always been a force to be reckoned with.
And even in her brokenness, she overcame. She did whatever
she had to do to take care of her son,
whatever she needed to do to take care of her household,
Even in a marriage that was in all disarray. She
(03:22):
was never the one to come over and say, I'm
so sick of him, I'm tired of him. We never
knew until she'd had enough. And when a woman's fed.
Speaker 5 (03:32):
Up, it's too late to talk about it.
Speaker 6 (03:36):
Yeah, can I say, though, to the point of the
podcast being about legacy, this is my belief. So when
people hear me speak, I think the low hanging fruit.
The easy thing to say is, oh my God, she's
stepping into her father's footsteps, and she's doing exactly what
her father did. And I honor my father, and I
believe so much about what I understand about God and
(03:58):
people is a part of what I have seen him
demonstrate through his ministry and what he's allowed me to
be exposed to. However, I will say that I believe
wholeheartedly that I am the woman in ministry that my
mother did not have permission to be.
Speaker 5 (04:21):
That's deep. I'm glad I've got on boots.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
When people talk about the things that they like about
me or love about me, they are all the things
that I attribute to my mother's presence in my life.
My mother was a woman at a different time, in
a different error, and women in ministry looked a lot
different when she was coming up, and my mother's ability
(04:50):
to give me permission to be who I was was
a seed that made me want to give other women
permission to be who they are. And so as much
I love that people see that connection between me and
my father.
Speaker 5 (05:03):
Part of the reason why I even wanted her on here.
Speaker 6 (05:06):
Is because she is the secret sauce of who I am,
and I feel like my legacy is to make sure
that my mother is remembered. My legacy is to make
sure that who she is lives on in the earth.
I've got her mother's obituary in my office. My kids
(05:28):
know about my granny. My granny died when I was
seven years old, and my kids know about her smelling
like cherry almond lotion and making sure that we are
all moisturized than fed, because I just feel like she's
too significant to be in anyone's shadow. And I think
every time the light is on me, it's on us
(05:49):
because I got to be who she wasn't able to
be at the time, and I just I love that
this is an opportunity for me to share who she
is with the world because I just I who I
am is just directly connected to who she is directly.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
And for all of our listeners who are listening and
not watching, your mom is tearing up everything that you've said.
She's she's just it's bringing tears.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
To her eyes.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
So it's you and to us here in the in
the room. So it's beautiful.
Speaker 6 (06:29):
I think anyone who's had obviously I won't speak for
everyone's experiences, but I know enough people who've had.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
You know a father who had.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
To go out and change the world and answer the
call that was on his life. The woman who says,
I'm going to stay home and make sure you have
somewhere to come home to.
Speaker 5 (06:48):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
I'm gonna make sure the kids are good. I want
to make sure that when you need support, I'll be
there for you. I'll be both in some way. I
just don't know that that sacrifice is always fully seen
because the it is always on the person who is
maybe drawing the crowds and giving the speeches and saying
the words. And I just everyone in our house knows
(07:10):
that Mama is the glue. She's the heartbeat of our home.
And I mean it's just indisputable. She literally is the
people's champ. And she's like just so pint sized. You
would her voice is so soft you think, oh my god,
you wouldn't hurt a fly, honey.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
She'd take a fly and shoot it. She did. She
let her slip was shown a little bit. She just
lets us that. But she is She's just resilience encouraged.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I love too when you said the way in which
you said that she was doing both. You know, so
she was you know, at home and making sure that
the kids, when you know, were taken care of and
that you know, the household, and at the same time
she was also doing her ministry. So that balance the
(08:01):
power of doing both. Yeah, tremendous, phenomenal woman. Let's talk
a little bit more about you all's relationship and the
dynamic between that mother daughter relationship and Sarah, I guess
I'll start with you, and I would like to know
how have you worked through your own mother daughter wounds?
(08:24):
We all have them, right and what have you learned
about grace in that process, don't?
Speaker 6 (08:31):
I mean, I don't know that I felt like I
had mother wounds. My mother, she was really a gentle
parent before gentle parenting became a thing. I can remember
the one time we almost had an argument. I was
living in a townhouse. I remember I was laying in
the bed and she said something to me and I
(08:51):
didn't like it. And at this point, I was like nineteen,
but at my nineteen I was, you know, living on
my own. Gross, I was like grown. And she said
something and I didn't like it, and she goes, are
you mad at me? And I was like I think so,
and she was like what did I say? Like she
took the time to really unpack what it was. And
(09:12):
so I think that my mom being so approachable and
relatable made it easy for us to work through things.
She was always so open and honest about her story,
Like I'm telling you, the things that people enjoy the
are like my transparency, my vulnerability. My mother modeled that
for me and so I think maybe if I thought
(09:33):
of anything that maybe I had to expand and my definition.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Of motherhood, maybe it was giving.
Speaker 6 (09:40):
Myself permission to have that transparency and vulnerability outside of
the context of more intimate relationships. I think to not
necessarily feel like I had to play into respectability in
certain spaces and to be okay being myself. I think
that maybe that was something. Do you ever cringe when
(10:01):
I'm saying things like, oh, You're not supposed to be
saying that, because I feel like sometimes in my head
I may be wondering, like, oh, my gosh, I hope
that I haven't gone too far in my mom's now.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
And but missus Jakes, because as Sarah just said, the
whole gentle parenting, you know, that's that's a newer trend.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Right, I mean.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
In the South, you know, that wasn't necessarily our experience
in the sense of did where did that come from?
Do you think is that just how.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
My aunt from the age of six months old until
I graduated high school, and so I was raised as
an only child. So I don't know. I just think
it's my personality. I think it's too much energy to
(10:54):
whip kids and screams.
Speaker 5 (10:56):
She wasn't good at it either. She wasn't good a whooping.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
The paper one time, and I can literally remember her
being like, so you're not I was not petrified. I
was right, now, you're not gonna cry. You're not gonna cry.
She was literally whooping me talking about so you're not
gonna cry. I was like, lady, man, if you call
that man, you get some tears out of me. But
you girl were playing girl, what's for dinner? So I
(11:25):
think she had to use her words. She wasn't very
good at it. You it is kind of your nature though,
like she doesn't really like confrontation. And then I think,
because she was raised by her aunt and as an
only child, even though she had other siblings, connection was
always really important to her. And so I think the
(11:48):
idea of whether it was like abandonment or whatever, the
idea of I don't want you to feel like you
have to leave me, or that I'm going to leave you,
I think it has made her work extra hard to
be present even in difficult moments. So you know me
so well, I just thinking about you.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Our daughter is a only child as well, and in fact,
at this point, she doesn't even have any cousins. She's
the only child, only grandchild on both both sides, and
I find that with her connection is very important because of.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
It so important, so important, I like, we'll talk later,
that abandonment. I don't want to run you away, you know,
I want you like I'll give you my doll if
you play with me, that sort of thing. And now,
even with the church, I take care of the little
me moms. I make sure on mothers stay that they
(12:41):
have something, the little kids have something. I'm a giver
by nature. I just got this whole bag where I'm
just cool like that everything that's for me.
Speaker 5 (12:54):
It's just it's.
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Too much energy. It's too much to calm down.
Speaker 5 (13:00):
We'll say too.
Speaker 6 (13:00):
I think our personalities are very similar too, because I
have other siblings, And I think that our relationship was
probably a little bit easier for on my end because
I could relate to her. I could see so much
of myself and her that like she tells these stories
her brother was murdered when she was younger, and like
(13:23):
she tells a story about her and her friend plotting
to take the murderer out, Like it's one of my
favorite stories that she tells I'm a gangster, and like
the idea that you could be like this unassuming as
a gangster was intriguing to me. And but yeah, I've
been able feel okay, okay, yeah, so I've been able
(13:44):
to get to know her and get to know myself
in the process.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Okay, Well it's it's like you make me want to
call my mom right now and get a giant hug
of appreciation. And the minute we finished, I am. And
what's so amazing is listen into this exchange part because
I love that you're checking in with each other, like Sarah,
I love that you're checking in with her going like
is that okay that I'm not honest or that okay?
That vulnerable and reaffirming And I just, frankly, I feel
(14:11):
like this is just so personal of a moment for
us speel to witness this. So just deep gratitude to
both of you, folks. Thank you for sharing this with
all the.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Listeners coming up on My Legacy, Sarah shares how she
stopped chasing power and found peace instead loved it. Please
hit like, follow and share this with someone learning to
trust the process.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Now back to My Legacy.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Now in your most recent book and you have quite
a bit. You're prolific writer. Power moves. You talk about
redefining what success and power mean, which is a critical
conversation for any of us, and most especially I I
think for women to really think about what power means
(15:04):
and what would you say that most women get wrong
about the notion of power and their own power.
Speaker 5 (15:14):
That's a great question.
Speaker 6 (15:16):
Part of the reason why I wrote this book is
because I was having different conversations with women who were
pursuing their doctorates, they were starting their businesses, they were
climbing the corporate ladder. But then they were also talking
about I want to be in my soft girl era,
and they felt like, in order for me to climb
the ladder, I have to betray my need to want
to also be solved, or if I'm going to be sold,
(15:37):
then I have to abandon this idea that I also
want to be a boss. And I wanted women to
understand that power has different expressions, and what makes you
powerful as a CEO may be different than what makes
you powerful as a partner, and that may be different
than what makes you powerful as a friend. And so
when I am leading one of our organizations, like I
(15:59):
need to be assertive. I need to be clear about
my vision. I need to be focused. But when I
am leading my children, I need to be attentive. I
need to listen. And that power has different expressions, but
they're both power. And I wanted to offer women an
invitation to liberation and allowing power to be defined on
their own terms and to experience that power in a
(16:20):
way that was authentic for them, because I felt like
we're chasing someone else's definition of what it means to
be powerful without ever checking in with ourselves. Even with
my husband, you know, I grew up feeling like, you know,
I need to make dinner and needs to be on
the table at a certain time. I need to keep
the house clean. And my husband was like, you could
order in. I want to sit down and watch Chicago
PD for you. And so what I thought would make
(16:42):
me a powerful wife was not what made me his
powerful wife. His powerful wife was watching Void and at
Water go chase down suspects in Chicago PD.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
And so surrendering these preconceived notions of power and letting
power be fluid. Power moves.
Speaker 6 (16:59):
It's not about making a power move, It's about allowing
power to move and be fluid. And that was the
offering that I could offer women at that time in
my life because I was seeing how fluid power was.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
And you just use the term surrender. So, because I
know that you've said before that surrender is the only
path to victory, what do you say to women who
feel like letting go means giving up?
Speaker 6 (17:27):
M Yeah, I mean, first of all, I totally relate
to that because I know what it feels like to
be giving up because we are experiencing defeat or experiencing disappointment.
And yet I would offer these women an opportunity to
reconsider that giving up is sometimes the only way that
we can experience restoration. When I think about surrender, I'm
(17:51):
thinking about someone holding onto something so tight, like you
can see their knuckles turning white, like they're just ignoring
anything that's happening because they're clinching what whatever it is
they're holding on to. For some of the women, it's career,
it's dreams of motherhood.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
You're holding on to.
Speaker 6 (18:05):
It's so tight that you don't realize what all is
available to you in any given moment. And so surrender
is giving your hands a break, is giving your heart
a break, It's giving your mind, a break from forcing
a reality that is obviously not happening right now and
allowing yourself to reset and recenter. And for me, surrender
(18:27):
is finding a way. It's finding a way. It is
a pursuit. It is not always going to be easy,
but it is finding the way to say, if this
never happens, if this never returns, I'm still worthy, I'm
still valuable. I can still have peace and I can
still have joy. But strategy, creativity, it needs a vast playground,
(18:47):
right and sometimes we don't always experience that vast playground
because we insist that it happened one specific way.
Speaker 5 (18:54):
But if we can.
Speaker 6 (18:55):
Believe that peace comes in different shapes and size, is
that joy comes in different shapes? In side, is that
success comes in different shapes and sizes, we may be
willing to surrender our way to experience another way that
still gives us to that ultimate destination of fulfillment.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Beautiful.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Thank you for joining us. If you enjoyed today's conversation, subscribe, share,
and follow us at my Legacy movement on social media.
New episodes drop every Tuesday, with bonus content every Thursday
until next time. May you find inspiration to live your legacy,
Hosts And Creators
Craig Kielburger
Marc Kielburger
Martin Luther King III
Arndrea Waters King
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