September 2, 2025 • 40 mins
Explorer, filmmaker, and activist Céline Cousteau has carried her family’s legendary name in her own way. From lessons with her grandfather Jacques Cousteau to life-or-death moments in the Amazon, she’s learned what true leadership means when the stakes are highest.
With her plus one, close friend Ian Hackett, Céline joins hosts Martin Luther King III, Arndrea Waters King, Marc Kielburger, and Craig Kielburger to share the defining moments and friendships that have shaped her journey.
Together, they reveal how:
- You don’t need to know everything; surround yourself with people who do
- Sometimes the only way through is to go into the storm
- In the wild, you learn to slow down to move forward\
- Legacy is never built alone; it’s carried by community and connection
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tell our story to the world. We want the world
to know we exist and we don't want to die.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Granddaughter of legendary oceanographer Jacques Cousteau, Seline Cousteau isn't just following.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
In his wake.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
She's creating her own current.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
So there was never this rejection of the family legacy
or going towards it. It just all naturally fell together.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
From the depths of the Amazon to the backwoods of
North Carolina. She's living a life of purpose, service and
deep connection.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
So it's not just about doing the film. It's about
earning to do the film, and it's about getting knocked
down standing back.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Up explorer, filmmaker, activist, telling stories from the edge of
the world.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
She was bitten by a pit viper, which is a
highly venomous snake. We're fifteen hours minimum by boat from anything.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Join hosts Martin Luther King the Third, Andrea Waters, King,
Mark Kilberger, and Cranik Kilberger for a conversation about identity
impact and the moments that show us who we are.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
What's happening for me in my brain in that moment
is I don't I won't have time to worry your panic.
I have time to figure it out.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Welcome to My Legacy Today we have the privilege of
sitting down with Selene Cousteau, a globally recognized explorer, documentary filmmaker, author, environmentalist,
and our collective friend. As the granddaughter of legendary oceanographer
Jacques Cousteau, Selene has carried forward a profound legacy, but
(01:28):
in her own unique and powerful way. And what, of course,
you know, makes My Legacy Podcast so special is we
don't just hear from extraordinary individuals. We hear from the
remarkable people who know them best. So Selene, so grateful
that you joined all of us, and would you start
off by telling us who you brought today and sharing
what makes them so important in your life?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oh, thank you for having me here. I brought my
friend Ian Hackett. Professionally, he's just an amazing marketer, branding professional,
elevating companies and businesses. But what he really does is
in good people into those business and elevate them to
their full potential. He is, Yeah, he's a golden unicorn.
(02:08):
Such a dear friend, just a caring heart and a
really kind person who really just wants the world around
him to be a better place. He's the son of
immigrants raised in California, And yeah, it stands for a
lot of really good things. So that's who I like
to surround myself with.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Well, I love that you have brought a dear friend
to join you today.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah, my pleasure.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
So let's go back to the origin and we are
all shaped by what came before us, and of course
for the blessing and the challenge. A name like Cousteau
carries your grandfather iconic, and can you share with us
what was it like growing up with him and what
was it like growing up a Cousto.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I didn't realize what Coustou meant to the world
until I was about nine. The moment I realized that
my family was public as I was walking through the
Oceanographic Museum of Monaco with my grandfather holding his hand,
and a group of tourists came in and approached him
and asked him for an autograph, And I remember the
moment he let go of my hand to sign an
autograph and I went, wait, hold on a second, who
(03:09):
are these people? But growing up and as an adult
and being able to travel around the world and do
the work that I do and hearing people say, oh,
I grew up with your grandfather. When I was in
Honduras and we know there was fighting in the streets,
we would come home to be safe and there was
one show on on Monday night at seven pm and
it would take us away from all of the strife
(03:31):
that was outside our doors. Or oh, I grew up
with your grandfather, so I learned how to dive where
I became a biologist. And taking my grandfather out of
that story, we all have that potential and that for
me is really the key to the story is not
that he was the better known person. It's all the
people whose lives he touched through the work that he
did and seeing that nobody does anything alone, so we
(03:55):
have to give credit for all the people that enabled
him to do his work. Is that, you know, much
like an iceberg, he was what you saw, but below
the surface you have the ninety percent, and that ninety
percent really to honor and celebrate that is important. It
was my grandmother who was key in making my grandfather's
career what it was. My mom was an expedition photographer
(04:18):
for thirteen years. My father did production in the field
and then not to mention all of the crew and
all the scientists and the engineers that made it possible.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Well, let's give a moment to honor your grandmother, because
you just said that she was really the force behind
your grandfather. Can you just tell us a little bit
about what do you mean by that.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
So, my grandmother was the daughter of a navy admiral
and she wanted to be on the oceans, but at
that time, women weren't in the navy. So she met
a handsome young man who wanted to be on the
oceans too. And when they married, you know, at that
time you received all the silver, the things for your wedding.
(05:01):
She hawked everything to rebuild the boat so that they
could sail. And yeah, and she didn't tell him these
are the things that she did. She was just like,
this is what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
I oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
There's a great story of her actually saving the ship
in a storm. So all of the crew went onto land,
they had important meetings, and she's like, no, I live
on the boat. This is my life, this is my home.
So she stayed on the boat and then a massive
storm came in and anchor ripped. She didn't know how
to navigate the boat, but she knew what to do,
(05:36):
and she took the boat into the storm so that
she could get through it faster, because she knew that
was the way forward, and in doing so, she saved
the boat. When in life we're faced with really big issues,
sometimes going into the storm is the way forward. I
was told it's what bison do. Cows run away from
the storm. Bison move into the storm to go through
it faster.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Wow, what a.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Metay, that's who she was.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Go into the storm, went to the storm a storm,
Go into the storm's women.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yes, love that we need to be courageous, don't be fearful.
Speaker 7 (06:07):
Yes, Sleen. When you were young, you spent some time
in the Amazon with your grandfather, Jacques Custeau. What was
that experience like and what did you learn.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
My mom was off on a team, already in the
jungle doing her work. My father was on a raft
with my brother doing their thing, And I got to
fly down with my grandfather and spent a couple of
weeks aboard and be in the midst of this jungle.
When you're little, you feel little right because you see
things from a different angle. And for me, it's important
(06:38):
to carry that forward into adulthood because we are tiny,
but we are so important. So something that my grandfather,
Jacques Custau taught me is, if you don't know how
to do something, surround yourself with people who know. If
you are a visionaryan a creative and you have an idea,
find the people that will work with you and who
also have that similar dream and who will be fulfilled
(06:59):
in taking part in it.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
And Ian, could you please share one thing that people
would be surprised to know about, dear Selene.
Speaker 8 (07:09):
Yes, maybe it's like one and a half things, because
it's Selene. There can't just be one thing Selene. Selene
is an excellent dim Sum partner. I didn't see that
one coming because you didn't. You wouldn't because she's the
thing is because she's open to new things and she's
(07:30):
but she has absolute terrible poker face. So a great
dim Sum partner, absolute terrible poker face. When she was
last in San Francisco, a few of us got together.
We went to dim Sum and as the cards are
bustling around and the baskets of steaming joy were being
placed on the table, I mentioned how my grandmother lived
to be one hundred and four and the family believed
(07:51):
that it was because she chicken feed every day, and
I noticed Selene's nose grunshaw, so of course I immediately bought
a basket of chicken feed. And because she's Selene and
willing to step into the unknown, she gave it a shot.
To her credit, she's a very good sport about it. However,
sometime later a package arrived at my door. It was
(08:12):
a package of preserved chicken feet. So I think she
got back of me in a very loving way to
tell me like, yeah, I got you. But the real
reason I bring this up is he has to poke
fun at her because it's part of the joy. But
I think that it represents who Selene is. She meets
(08:33):
people where they are, and she's willing to step into
discomfort and curiosity and new experiences, not just with food
but with people. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
I I love the metaphor, by the way, about dim
sum for life no sincerely, like we never wants coming
at us, but we're willing to be adventurous. There's like
a book title there somewhere.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
And Ian now you mentioned your grandmother. I love the
story about the chicken feet. Let me tell you brought
me back to my childhood because if you grew up
in the South and you went into a small country
store in the fifties, sixties, and seventies, you most likely
(09:13):
there would be a big jar pickled pigs feed. And
I'm sure a lot of our listeners remembered pickles, pickled
picks feed, so the chicken feed. It just it was
very funny. But obviously your your grandmother was a very
strong woman. That's something that you and Selene have in common.
What are some things that you would like to share
(09:33):
about her and her legacy.
Speaker 8 (09:35):
She was born in Santaese, California, in nineteen oh six,
just before the big earthquake. She grew up here. My
grandfather came over from China and they got married and
they went back to China to have a family, and
she raised seven six seven kids. There's actually seven, but
only six survived. And you know, at some point she
(10:01):
joined the you know libert the Chinese Liberation Army, and
she fought for freedom for you know, her her community.
And there's a picture of her with a rifle on
her hip and I just you know, looking back and
and being the age I am now, I'm like, wait,
you had six kids and the husband, and she rolls
of fighting in a war, and it just amazes me
(10:23):
as the strength and the resilience that she had. And
she eventually brought the family back to the United States
for safety in her words of better life. And she
never lost the spark, she never lost her spirit, She
never she didn't take slack for anyone. So she she
just this amazing model in my life of resilience and
(10:46):
being kind. I would go see her if I was
traveling for work to New York, who lived in State
New York, and I would go see her, and I'd
walk in and there would just be this beaming light
on her face. And you know, unless, you know, unless
Jeopardy was on, and then it was a game of her.
There is nothing. No one else in the room could compete.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
I just love these too, these very too strong women
in your grandmother's and particularly like when so many girls
and women are continually told to, you know, to be small,
play small, or still not fully acknowledged even historically. Again,
one of the things I'm taking from the day is
be the storm, Go into the storm. Go into the storm.
Speaker 9 (11:24):
Selene, You've said that your family didn't push you or
necessarily encourage or discourage you to be involved in the
work that you're involved in. What is it that causes
you not just to wake up every day and be
excited about embarking upon magnificent change, but what is it
(11:48):
that causes that caused you to initially say this is
what I want to do, this is what I know
every day.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
So going back, I studied psychology. I was interested in
human behavior. Why are we the way we are? Why
in one household two people can be so different, why
is it that we behave towards each other the way
we do? And how can we help people heal? Fast forward,
I worked in tourism and travel, doing production and logistics,
and while I was doing that, my father was preparing
(12:16):
a series for PBS called Ocean Adventures. Well, working on
documentary films or in tourism, production and logistics is production
and logistics. So I said, hey, if you need help,
I'm happy to do some of the logistics for this.
At the time, they were filming the gray whale migration
from Baja California up to Barrow, Alaska, and so I
stepped in to do logistics, thinking that's all I was
(12:38):
going to do, and then my father couldn't show up
from one of the interviews, and so they put me
in front of the camera and said, can you interview
the whale scientists. I'm like, I don't know anything about Cetasha,
but because I have this innate curiosity of all things,
and not just because the subject is interesting, but because
it's interesting to the person I'm talking to, because that
gets at the heart of who they are. And I
(12:59):
found myself in Baro, Alaska, in the middle of the Arctic.
I'm not a cold weather person going I love this.
I love being in nature, always have. I love being
out in the elements. I love understanding and hearing people.
But it has so much more value when I get
to bring it back and share it. And so it
brought me back to the documentary filming side of things
(13:20):
inadvertently in a way. So there was never this rejection
of the family legacy or going towards it. It just
all naturally fell together.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Scrolling won't change your life, but subscribing just might tap
that button and stay connected to conversations that can't.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Now back to my legacy, seeing.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
You've talked a lot about the intersection between nature and humanity,
and we're all truly connected and One of the reasons
we're so disconnected is because the lack of connection between
humanity and nature. Can you explain that to us?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
What I have seen a lot and some of the
reading that I have done, is that our disconnect with
nature leads to a disconnect with self. We can look
at neuroscience, for example, when kids have more access to nature,
they're more regulated. When people have more access to plants,
they're more efficient at their jobs. So as we have
retreated from nature and closed ourselves in these amazing climate
(14:22):
controlled environments because we are creative humans, right, we have
distance ourselves from our true human nature, which is that
we are part of nature. When we bring that nature
back in and I mean that even just a plant
in your office, we start to make those connections, But
we need a deeper connection with self.
Speaker 7 (14:40):
First, se Lehn, you said that the work you did
with Tribes on the Edge, that amazing documentary you brought
into the world, was one of the most important contributions
you've made. Tell us about Tribes on the Edge and
why was it so important for you to tell that story.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
So, Tribes on the Edge is a documentary film that
was created at the request of the indigenous people in
the Javari indigenous territory in Brazil. I met them on
a different documentary and they reached back out to me
and said, we want you to come back and tell
our story to the world. We want the world to
know we exist and we don't want to die. That's
not a light request. What I have learned intensely through
(15:18):
this whole project. First of all, to be asked for
help is an honor, because it's very difficult for some people,
including myself, to ask for help, so it's a real
sign of deep trust. It Also, it took me seven
years to do the documentary film between filming and post production,
because I wanted to do it independently. I didn't want
(15:38):
to sell the story. I didn't want somebody else to
edit it and to what they believed should be shared
or what the audience might want. I wanted to honor
the voices of the people who trusted me to share it.
And my conviction in doing that was tested over and
over again. And I say that because I feel like
I got knocked down because it took me seven years
(15:58):
to make it. I did independent, unsustainably, piecemeal, out of pocket,
not highly recommended to do a documentary that way, but
that's what I needed to do. And through that whole process,
I realized it's not just about doing the film, it's
about earning to do the film, and it's about getting
knocked down, standing back up and going no. I believe
in this. This is what I meant to do. This,
(16:19):
this is for me, and I can do this, stand
back up and go again. I've learned so many lessons
in the jungle with them Beto Maruba, who said to me,
you know, Selene, hurrying in the jungle is a waste
of time.
Speaker 8 (16:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And I look at our lives in our cities, and
I'm in the mountains of western North Carolina and somebody there,
as we're walking around post hurricane said, you know, trying
to hurry in the mountains is a waste of time.
And I was, where have I heard that before? So
I've learned to slow down, which anybody who knows mean
includeed knows like slowing down is not what comes naturally
(16:55):
to me. And yet I still get more done, and
I do it more peacefully and do it more deeply.
So that project, I know it has brought me as
much as I've given it, and it has longevity beyond
what I could have imagined, because what's sprung from it
is an initiative to bring tangible support back to them.
(17:15):
So we're working to bring anti venom because it's one
of the biggest problems they have there outside of a
lot of the illegal activities. And we've created an education
curriculum that was inspired by what they can teach us.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
I want to go further and actually the incredible work
that you're doing there. You reference this and I think
for most of our listeners or watchers that go, oh,
anti venom, but like, this is a real an incredible
life or death reality, and can you actually share a
little bit about the.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Pit viper.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
So what we're referring to is on our first of
three expeditions filming, I brought an anthropologist. We were going
to the Matist tribe. She had lived with them and
spoke their language. And we went into the village and
she had lived there. She knows what it's like. But
we went to bathe just at dusk. Don't bathe at
dusk in that jungle. We were down by the river.
(18:06):
She came down later and as she's walking down to
the river, she screams, snake a snake bit me. So
she was bitten by a pit viper, which is a
highly venomous snake. It is the beginning of the night
in the middle of the jungle, where fifteen hours minimum
by boat from anything. We don't have everything that we
need to get out, right. We don't have a helicopter,
(18:26):
we don't have all of those life saying being devices. Luckily,
there was a nurse station in that village. He the
person that was there attending to healthcare, had anti venom
administered two vials of anti venom. Meanwhile, so now I
have my this is my team, right, these are my decisions.
I have to just get into fix it mode. So
(18:49):
I'm there trying to soothe her. She's speaking rapidly. She's
obviously very stressed and nervous because we don't know what's
going to happen. So I start slowing my breathing down.
I'm rubbing her back, and I'm saying, Barbara, I really
need you to stop talking and slow down. And this
is exactly the pace I start speaking to her. And
(19:11):
then I say, Matt, can you go get the satellite
phone please? And then I'm talking to the nurse and
what's happening for me in my brain in that moment
is I don't have time to worry or panic. I
have time to figure it out, and that's it. I
go into super focus mode in moments of urgency. Then
I look at her and I say, Barbara, would you
(19:32):
be okay if we filmed this? Because I also have
my director hat on of like, yeah, this is truth.
This is a moment that we can share with people
where they understand the dangers that these people face every day.
Just happens to be somebody from my team. We use
the satellite phone, we call I try to get a
helicopter rescue and we get denied and I say, well,
(19:56):
we're happy to pay for the fuel or whatever it is. No,
you don't understand the helicopter is or government officials and
indigenous people only. You entered indigenous land on your own.
You're on your own. This helicopter is not for you.
I have to go back to Barbara and say I'm sorry, Barbara,
you're not the right person for a metavac so and
(20:19):
I get really emotional when I talk about this. I
am so grateful. Ay, she's alive, she's okay. I'm so
grateful for the opportunity to feel, not here not tell
the story, but to feel what it's like for somebody
from my family to be told their life is worth
less than somebody else's. I don't wish it on anyone,
(20:42):
but as far as understanding and empathy is concerned, to
be able to go back to somebody from my team
and say, there's a solution to save you, but it's
not for.
Speaker 6 (20:50):
You, so.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I'll fast forward to the end. Like I said, she's okay.
But what that lesson taught me is it's to be
able to stand in the shoes of somebody and actually
fully feel it and understand it. It is now forever.
Like I my body right now is reacting one hundred
percent to that fear and to that anxiety that she
could have died even though there was a solution for her.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
Your leading an expedition, you had a team that was
depending upon you. You had a team member at this
point that was it was a matter of life and death.
What leadership qualities did that awaken in you or bring
(21:38):
forward in you that you're that you carried forward.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I think what it did is it confirmed something I
didn't know is that I could I could figure it
out and that there was no room for doubt in
that moment. I had also done a wilderness first responder
course because I used to rock climb and accidents happen,
and so I just wanted to be able to understand
how to react to certain accidents. And so I went
(22:04):
into triage mode. And there were two solutions to get
additional anti venom. One was to send our fast boat
but potentially not have enough fuel the next day to
get the entire team out, and we were going through
uncontacted indigenous territory so we couldn't stop. Or I would
send the slow boat risking getting the additional anti venom
too late. But then I had enough fuel to get
(22:26):
my whole team out the next day. So I also
had to make that hard decision. What it did is
it it took. So I'm a highly emotive personal person
like I just I go right to heart when it
comes to things. I had to get practical in that
moment and go into a moment of triage and say
what is the greatest potential outcome. So I had to
(22:49):
send the slow boat because I needed to get everybody
out the next day. And that was really a really
difficult decision.
Speaker 7 (22:57):
To make We're.
Speaker 9 (22:58):
Building something real here, one episode at a time.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
If you want to be part.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
Of it, subscribe, it's free, it matters, and we're just
getting started.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Now back to my legacy.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
So you two first met through an executive leadership workshop
and you said sale when Ian walked in and you thought,
that's my person, that's my person, which I thought was lovely.
What was it about Ian that made you recognize that
instant sense of connection?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Oh, you know, it's hard to describe. I mean when
you meet somebody, When you see somebody, don't you go oh,
like your body.
Speaker 8 (23:38):
Literally will lean in right.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Your Your body has such incredible intelligence and we are
forgetting it right. Ourselves have memory. When I have that
and I lean in towards somebody, I go, that's my person,
I'm like, oh I knew something before. I knew it intellectually,
before my mind knew it. My heart knows it, my
body knows it. Right. So when you listen to that
and you actually see how you react towards people and
(24:02):
where you lean into, you'll start to surround yourself with
those people that actually uplift you and who you uplift.
Ian is a heart led person. He is walking kindness.
He is thoughtful, he's generous, and to see that in
the world of today is like getting a handwritten letter
on your birthday. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Ian?
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Are you tearing up?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Don't you didn't know?
Speaker 9 (24:26):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I love that.
Speaker 8 (24:28):
It's too early for you to cry.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
Never for our listeners, they can't see your face, but
we can. You actually are You're tearing up? That's so beautiful.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
Oh hold it back.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
No, See, this is the thing, This is the thing
about people you love. Is just like, why don't we
do this more? Why don't we tell people what we
see in them?
Speaker 9 (24:47):
Right?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Why does it take a radio show for us to
be like, Oh my god, you're so squishy. I love you.
Speaker 7 (24:52):
When you first met Selene, what did your heart tell you?
Speaker 8 (24:55):
When I first met Selene, my heart told me, oh,
this one's going to be here for a while. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (25:03):
You met Selene at a very difficult chapter in your life.
How did her presence in that moment, her friendship help
you navigate through that time of your life?
Speaker 8 (25:16):
We met up in the up in the mountains of
Colorado and I just got on a plane after a
conference and I was completely discombobulated, and I rolled in ought,
and I didn't. I guess I wasn't aware this grief
was still it was in the grief state. I thought
maybe it was. I was just, you know, I didn't
(25:40):
know what was going on. And during the first twenty
four hours forty eight hours of meeting the group and
experiencing Selene, there was just this openness. There was this
I remember the first time I saw her. I literally
came in stumbling to the door of my luggage and
it was very late, and she and like a couple
(26:00):
of other folks had waited up for me. They didn't
know who I was. It was very late, and she
just poked at me and she goes, you, We've been
waiting for you. And it was just this like disarming
moment where I was like, oh, okay, I can I
can be here. And in that process of having somebody
wait for you that you didn't know, and someone welcomed
(26:21):
welcoming you in a way that was just so true,
I was able to like expose, I let myself share
the grief that I was in and it was a
very moving period. It was again nobody start crying, but
it was it was something I didn't know I needed
(26:43):
and didn't and it hadn't experienced before in a in
a setting like that where I didn't know people for
very long periods of time. And I just think that
the throughout the weekend of the retreat, she just kept
checking in. It was just moments I would see her
across the room and see how he was so into
(27:04):
the conversation she was having with somebody. And yeah, when
the moments happened, where was she and I were grabbing
coffee at the same time, and we were chit chatting
in the in the kitchen. I forgot that I was sad.
I forgot that there was a hole sitting in my
in my soul of you know, this for the space
of grief. And it was just a moment of reprieve
(27:26):
that I remember in such a space that it was
so heavy for me. And that last that lasted, and
you know, after that retreat, group group chats happened, and
one day she just said, can I call you? Because
your text everyone right, you don't call anyone. And then
(27:47):
she developed this role, She's like, let's just be call friends.
You can call me whenever and I'll call you whenever.
And I just thought that it was also just another
you know, and to tame when people text you. I mean,
my friend texts me like, Hey, can I call you?
This is so ridiculous, said, so many layers between connection.
But she kind of just pushed right. It's a sling poke.
She doesn't push right through it. She gave me, She
(28:08):
gave me, you know this, this access to call someone
when I needed them, and it truly has been a
remarkable friendship.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Ian.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Can I just repeat that just for a moment, because
I think that was so profound to be a call
friend Because to your point, we text, we what's up, like,
we use email, like all these things. But the voice,
the connection, the conversation.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I love that. Can we be call friends? And to
establish that more?
Speaker 4 (28:35):
And I on the subject of call friends, Ian, we
learned that something that Selene helped share with you was
the power of yes and thinking yes, And so Slain,
I'm gonna put you on the spot if you don't mind,
can you share with everyone listening and watching this what
is yes and thinking that Ian mentioned was so profound
in his life that you helped open.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Up to him. So it first happened for me. I
was doing a neuro feedback training at a place called
four years of zen out in Seattle, and throughout the
five days of this narrow feedback training, what kept coming
back is that I am a yes and person. I
say yes to the experience, and what else is there?
(29:14):
Yes to the experience and can I share it? Yes?
And how is this valuable for other people? It sometimes
gets me in trouble because it means sometimes I over commit,
which is something else I'm working on. Is setting really
high expectations for oneself that you can do more in
a day than anybody else leads you to disappointment. So
the yes and also has its limits in terms of
(29:35):
being realistic. But there was the word butt that came
in a lot. It comes in a lot of conversations
with people. I would love to do that, but I'm like,
well how about I would love to do that and
let me figure out if I can. And so that's
a little bit of where we've come to with the
yes and.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I love it.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Yes, you know what I have learned to what I'm
learning is to do at night a flow list before
I go to bed, separate than a to do list. Yes,
So like the flow list is like being in the
flow or things. And then it's interesting because you get
more done with aligned action. That way, it's a it's
(30:18):
a different way of flowing through through all.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Of that, the to do list is almost like an obligation.
I mean I would write things down I've already done,
just so I could check them off.
Speaker 6 (30:26):
Yes, satisfaction, but oh at that statement, you can have
a lot of honesty for me if you want it
to totally.
Speaker 8 (30:38):
But the flow.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
What I like about that is it fits in the
value system if you if you truly understand your values,
your priorities right, and you see where your interests are.
How much do you talk about things? Where do you share?
Where do you get excited? Like where do you spend
your time money whatever it is? And energy? And then
you actually live within that.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
Yes things are smooth, Yes things have really been.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Yeah, flowing and then when the storm comes you're like,
I got this.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
I love talking to a custo about flolowing.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
So any of our listeners have to tune in to
watch the video versions because Selene were with their hands
in a beautiful way.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
Well, it's it's so interesting too. What I love about
this conversation with you and Ian is that there's so
much conversation now about the challenges of forming relationships and
deep friendships as adults, and it seems like you all,
not you all are proof that it can happen. Yeah,
so obviously there was that instant connection. But what advice,
(31:42):
if any, would you give our listeners that want to
develop these meaningful relationships as adults.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
I mean, I would say, first and foremost, like what
do you care about? What do you want in the world,
And then go and meet with the groups that have
those interests and then you start forming that.
Speaker 6 (32:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
If you love salsa dancing, go takes also dancing classes,
you just might meet a really cool friend.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
For us, it was this executive retreat and wanting to
better understand ourselves do the internal healing processes so that
we could be more effective, efficient humans, but also just happier,
healthier humans. And then you meet a group of people this,
this executive retreat, which is called purpose built, is about that, right,
(32:26):
And so of course I mean and from that we
call ourselves our heart tribe. Oh we I mean tomorrow
I fly to California. Ian's picking me up from the airport,
and then we go to one of our group's wedding
celebrations and a small group of us from that executive
treat are coming together because we get to celebrate each
other and hang out with you. We love beautiful, So
(32:47):
they're lifelong friendships. I am one hundred percent in for
like meeting adult friends.
Speaker 8 (32:53):
Yes, it's the best, It's the.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Best, Selane.
Speaker 9 (32:56):
There's a lot of hopelessness in our name and world.
How do you find hope?
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I think it's a choice to not step into the hopelessness.
A lot of what us out there right now is
meant to create chaos and fear, because when people are
feeling fearful, they will retreat. And when you are protecting self,
you're not standing up for the greater collective. So what
I try to do is not inundate myself with the
(33:25):
chaos and the fear, and continue what I know is
true and right and look for those places, those people,
those activities that actually elevate. What skills do I have
that I can lend to what's happening in this world today?
So I'll take one small example. I speak Spanish, So
is there something I can do with my knowledge and
(33:46):
language to help people who are right now really being
attacked and who have a lot of fear? Can I
solve everything. No, but I can use this one skill
right when I am feeling down, when I am feeling stressed,
I do call people like Ian, I'm like, I'm having
a hard day, and immediately there's a rebalancing right when
you have those people, because that's the recalibration in any relationship,
(34:10):
is that when you are a little bit down, somebody
else will be a little bit up, and then you
come together and you're like, okay, all as well, right,
and then go back and do that bit. This goes
back a little bit to what we were talking about
earlier in terms of values and priorities and flow is
where is the place where I have the greatest impact,
but also where I have the greatest energy.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
And one of the things that the four of us
are doing collectively to your point, is that we are
we have an initiative called Realize the Dream, and we
are igniting a youth movement and we are having people
all over the country and world join us. We are
doing one hundred million hours of service by the one
(34:52):
hundredth birthday of Martin Luther King Junior as a way
to build the beloved community. So when you talked about
the fact that you speak Spanish, so with so much
you know, going on now, and people want to know,
how can I help? How can I be of service?
The fact that you could go and volunteer speaking Spanish
and then log those hours to this initiative that we're
(35:15):
all collectively building the beloved community of Martin Luther King's Junior.
We're all serving. That's something that we all, as a
team and partners are extraordinarily excited about.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I love that word beloved. I mean, you can take
that in so many directions. Be loved, I.
Speaker 8 (35:32):
Said, loved.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
That's how I taught our daughter when she was a toddler,
about the beloved community that her grandparents talked about so much.
And I was trying to figure out a way to
break it down. What is this beloved community? And then
it came to me that if I could teach her,
if we could teach our children to be love, that's
one way that we can create that beloved community.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
And today's all been about relationship and connection and friendships
and family. And you are the proud uncle to two nephews,
and I want to ask you, like, what what rule
can answer? And uncles playing people's lives and what do
you hope your legacy will be with them.
Speaker 8 (36:15):
I mean I tease them most of the time, but
you humble, Yeah, I mean, they're very they're very They're
they're wonderful children. My sister and her husband have done
an amazing job. I think, you know, my greatest joy
is just watching them grow and you know, poking of
I see, you know, you see so much in kids,
and I'm just so proud of them because they they
(36:36):
ask thoughtful questions, They do the hard they'll go out
and do the uncomfortable stuff. Yes, they will drag their feet,
they will not want to get off their you know,
whatever game console they're playing or their phones, but they
do get up and they take their grandmother to breakfast,
and they do their rollers, and you know, they call.
They they're both at college now, so they both call
(36:57):
home quite often. And I think for me, it's those
opportunities of making sure that I show up for them
and I we have we have our own text threat
that my sister's not on. So there's a lot of
you know, there's a lot of fun, fun things exchanged
on there. I think, if anything, it's my you know,
(37:18):
what I hope I can impart of them is be kind, share,
you know, extend your hand to somebody who's struggling. I
used to think that, you know, you know, your your
legacy is the titles you have in the fancy office
and the physical feats you could achieve. And so for
(37:38):
them seeing that part of their uncle in that aspect,
it's fine. But I've come to realize that it's about
how you make people feel and how you can show
people that they can they can be who they are authentically,
that that they don't have to fit in, you know,
to hide parts themselves. I want they show up in
(38:00):
their whole self. And I think that's something the beautiful
that my sister and her husband have done. I hope
I've given them a little bit of inspiration as I
walk around and you know, I'm not look I'm a
mixed race queer man, and I don't hide it. I
hope that they see that as a positive thing to
be in the world, because you know, we need it.
(38:22):
We need it. We need them all shapes and sizes
and from all beliefs, and you know, so I just
hope that the kindness that I extend to others, they've
seen that that their parents, the kindness their parents extend
to others, and that creates a ripple effect where they
take that and pay it forward.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Slann and Ian, I love this conversation about relationships, about friendships,
about seeing the good in each other connecting in this way.
I leave with this idea to challenge our listeners and
our viewers to call a friend, not to text them,
not to email them, to call a friend. And imagine
(39:03):
some people probably saying, well, what am I going to
say to my friend?
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Invite them to.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Dim sum, tell them about yes and order the some
chicken feet, and tell them about an incredible story between
Selene and Ian and this great friendship and all the
beautiful lessons that you shared with us today. So too
in and of course Selene, thank you for living your
legacy with us and sharing your thoughts with all our
(39:27):
listeners and viewers.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Thank you all, Thank you, beautiful, thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Thank you, thank you for joining us. If you enjoy
today's conversation, subscribe, share, and follow us on at my
Legacy movement on social media and YouTube. New episodes drop
every Tuesday, with bonus content every Thursday. At its core,
this podcast honors doctor King's vision of the beloved community
(39:54):
and the power of Connection, a legacy plus studio production
distributed by iHeartMedia. Creator and executive producer Suzanne Hayward, co
executive producer Lisa Lyle. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Tell our story to the world. We want the world
to know we exist and we don't want to die.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Granddaughter of legendary oceanographer Jacques Cousteau, Seline Cousteau isn't just following.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
In his wake.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
She's creating her own current.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
So there was never this rejection of the family legacy
or going towards it. It just all naturally fell together.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
From the depths of the Amazon to the backwoods of
North Carolina. She's living a life of purpose, service and
deep connection.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
So it's not just about doing the film. It's about
earning to do the film, and it's about getting knocked
down standing back.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Up explorer, filmmaker, activist, telling stories from the edge of
the world.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
She was bitten by a pit viper, which is a
highly venomous snake. We're fifteen hours minimum by boat from anything.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Join hosts Martin Luther King the Third, Andrea Waters, King,
Mark Kilberger, and Cranik Kilberger for a conversation about identity
impact and the moments that show us who we are.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
What's happening for me in my brain in that moment
is I don't I won't have time to worry your panic.
I have time to figure it out.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Welcome to My Legacy Today we have the privilege of
sitting down with Selene Cousteau, a globally recognized explorer, documentary filmmaker, author, environmentalist,
and our collective friend. As the granddaughter of legendary oceanographer
Jacques Cousteau, Selene has carried forward a profound legacy, but
(01:28):
in her own unique and powerful way. And what, of course,
you know, makes My Legacy Podcast so special is we
don't just hear from extraordinary individuals. We hear from the
remarkable people who know them best. So Selene, so grateful
that you joined all of us, and would you start
off by telling us who you brought today and sharing
what makes them so important in your life?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Oh, thank you for having me here. I brought my
friend Ian Hackett. Professionally, he's just an amazing marketer, branding professional,
elevating companies and businesses. But what he really does is
in good people into those business and elevate them to
their full potential. He is, Yeah, he's a golden unicorn.
(02:08):
Such a dear friend, just a caring heart and a
really kind person who really just wants the world around
him to be a better place. He's the son of
immigrants raised in California, And yeah, it stands for a
lot of really good things. So that's who I like
to surround myself with.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Well, I love that you have brought a dear friend
to join you today.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Yeah, my pleasure.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
So let's go back to the origin and we are
all shaped by what came before us, and of course
for the blessing and the challenge. A name like Cousteau
carries your grandfather iconic, and can you share with us
what was it like growing up with him and what
was it like growing up a Cousto.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Well, I didn't realize what Coustou meant to the world
until I was about nine. The moment I realized that
my family was public as I was walking through the
Oceanographic Museum of Monaco with my grandfather holding his hand,
and a group of tourists came in and approached him
and asked him for an autograph, And I remember the
moment he let go of my hand to sign an
autograph and I went, wait, hold on a second, who
(03:09):
are these people? But growing up and as an adult
and being able to travel around the world and do
the work that I do and hearing people say, oh,
I grew up with your grandfather. When I was in
Honduras and we know there was fighting in the streets,
we would come home to be safe and there was
one show on on Monday night at seven pm and
it would take us away from all of the strife
(03:31):
that was outside our doors. Or oh, I grew up
with your grandfather, so I learned how to dive where
I became a biologist. And taking my grandfather out of
that story, we all have that potential and that for
me is really the key to the story is not
that he was the better known person. It's all the
people whose lives he touched through the work that he
did and seeing that nobody does anything alone, so we
(03:55):
have to give credit for all the people that enabled
him to do his work. Is that, you know, much
like an iceberg, he was what you saw, but below
the surface you have the ninety percent, and that ninety
percent really to honor and celebrate that is important. It
was my grandmother who was key in making my grandfather's
career what it was. My mom was an expedition photographer
(04:18):
for thirteen years. My father did production in the field
and then not to mention all of the crew and
all the scientists and the engineers that made it possible.
Speaker 5 (04:26):
Well, let's give a moment to honor your grandmother, because
you just said that she was really the force behind
your grandfather. Can you just tell us a little bit
about what do you mean by that.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
So, my grandmother was the daughter of a navy admiral
and she wanted to be on the oceans, but at
that time, women weren't in the navy. So she met
a handsome young man who wanted to be on the
oceans too. And when they married, you know, at that
time you received all the silver, the things for your wedding.
(05:01):
She hawked everything to rebuild the boat so that they
could sail. And yeah, and she didn't tell him these
are the things that she did. She was just like,
this is what I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
I oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
There's a great story of her actually saving the ship
in a storm. So all of the crew went onto land,
they had important meetings, and she's like, no, I live
on the boat. This is my life, this is my home.
So she stayed on the boat and then a massive
storm came in and anchor ripped. She didn't know how
to navigate the boat, but she knew what to do,
(05:36):
and she took the boat into the storm so that
she could get through it faster, because she knew that
was the way forward, and in doing so, she saved
the boat. When in life we're faced with really big issues,
sometimes going into the storm is the way forward. I
was told it's what bison do. Cows run away from
the storm. Bison move into the storm to go through
it faster.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Wow, what a.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Metay, that's who she was.
Speaker 5 (05:58):
Go into the storm, went to the storm a storm,
Go into the storm's women.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Yes, love that we need to be courageous, don't be fearful.
Speaker 7 (06:07):
Yes, Sleen. When you were young, you spent some time
in the Amazon with your grandfather, Jacques Custeau. What was
that experience like and what did you learn.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
My mom was off on a team, already in the
jungle doing her work. My father was on a raft
with my brother doing their thing, And I got to
fly down with my grandfather and spent a couple of
weeks aboard and be in the midst of this jungle.
When you're little, you feel little right because you see
things from a different angle. And for me, it's important
(06:38):
to carry that forward into adulthood because we are tiny,
but we are so important. So something that my grandfather,
Jacques Custau taught me is, if you don't know how
to do something, surround yourself with people who know. If
you are a visionaryan a creative and you have an idea,
find the people that will work with you and who
also have that similar dream and who will be fulfilled
(06:59):
in taking part in it.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
And Ian, could you please share one thing that people
would be surprised to know about, dear Selene.
Speaker 8 (07:09):
Yes, maybe it's like one and a half things, because
it's Selene. There can't just be one thing Selene. Selene
is an excellent dim Sum partner. I didn't see that
one coming because you didn't. You wouldn't because she's the
thing is because she's open to new things and she's
(07:30):
but she has absolute terrible poker face. So a great
dim Sum partner, absolute terrible poker face. When she was
last in San Francisco, a few of us got together.
We went to dim Sum and as the cards are
bustling around and the baskets of steaming joy were being
placed on the table, I mentioned how my grandmother lived
to be one hundred and four and the family believed
(07:51):
that it was because she chicken feed every day, and
I noticed Selene's nose grunshaw, so of course I immediately bought
a basket of chicken feed. And because she's Selene and
willing to step into the unknown, she gave it a shot.
To her credit, she's a very good sport about it. However,
sometime later a package arrived at my door. It was
(08:12):
a package of preserved chicken feet. So I think she
got back of me in a very loving way to
tell me like, yeah, I got you. But the real
reason I bring this up is he has to poke
fun at her because it's part of the joy. But
I think that it represents who Selene is. She meets
(08:33):
people where they are, and she's willing to step into
discomfort and curiosity and new experiences, not just with food
but with people. Thank you.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
I I love the metaphor, by the way, about dim
sum for life no sincerely, like we never wants coming
at us, but we're willing to be adventurous. There's like
a book title there somewhere.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
And Ian now you mentioned your grandmother. I love the
story about the chicken feet. Let me tell you brought
me back to my childhood because if you grew up
in the South and you went into a small country
store in the fifties, sixties, and seventies, you most likely
(09:13):
there would be a big jar pickled pigs feed. And
I'm sure a lot of our listeners remembered pickles, pickled
picks feed, so the chicken feed. It just it was
very funny. But obviously your your grandmother was a very
strong woman. That's something that you and Selene have in common.
What are some things that you would like to share
(09:33):
about her and her legacy.
Speaker 8 (09:35):
She was born in Santaese, California, in nineteen oh six,
just before the big earthquake. She grew up here. My
grandfather came over from China and they got married and
they went back to China to have a family, and
she raised seven six seven kids. There's actually seven, but
only six survived. And you know, at some point she
(10:01):
joined the you know libert the Chinese Liberation Army, and
she fought for freedom for you know, her her community.
And there's a picture of her with a rifle on
her hip and I just you know, looking back and
and being the age I am now, I'm like, wait,
you had six kids and the husband, and she rolls
of fighting in a war, and it just amazes me
(10:23):
as the strength and the resilience that she had. And
she eventually brought the family back to the United States
for safety in her words of better life. And she
never lost the spark, she never lost her spirit, She
never she didn't take slack for anyone. So she she
just this amazing model in my life of resilience and
(10:46):
being kind. I would go see her if I was
traveling for work to New York, who lived in State
New York, and I would go see her, and I'd
walk in and there would just be this beaming light
on her face. And you know, unless, you know, unless
Jeopardy was on, and then it was a game of her.
There is nothing. No one else in the room could compete.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
I just love these too, these very too strong women
in your grandmother's and particularly like when so many girls
and women are continually told to, you know, to be small,
play small, or still not fully acknowledged even historically. Again,
one of the things I'm taking from the day is
be the storm, Go into the storm. Go into the storm.
Speaker 9 (11:24):
Selene, You've said that your family didn't push you or
necessarily encourage or discourage you to be involved in the
work that you're involved in. What is it that causes
you not just to wake up every day and be
excited about embarking upon magnificent change, but what is it
(11:48):
that causes that caused you to initially say this is
what I want to do, this is what I know
every day.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
So going back, I studied psychology. I was interested in
human behavior. Why are we the way we are? Why
in one household two people can be so different, why
is it that we behave towards each other the way
we do? And how can we help people heal? Fast forward,
I worked in tourism and travel, doing production and logistics,
and while I was doing that, my father was preparing
(12:16):
a series for PBS called Ocean Adventures. Well, working on
documentary films or in tourism, production and logistics is production
and logistics. So I said, hey, if you need help,
I'm happy to do some of the logistics for this.
At the time, they were filming the gray whale migration
from Baja California up to Barrow, Alaska, and so I
stepped in to do logistics, thinking that's all I was
(12:38):
going to do, and then my father couldn't show up
from one of the interviews, and so they put me
in front of the camera and said, can you interview
the whale scientists. I'm like, I don't know anything about Cetasha,
but because I have this innate curiosity of all things,
and not just because the subject is interesting, but because
it's interesting to the person I'm talking to, because that
gets at the heart of who they are. And I
(12:59):
found myself in Baro, Alaska, in the middle of the Arctic.
I'm not a cold weather person going I love this.
I love being in nature, always have. I love being
out in the elements. I love understanding and hearing people.
But it has so much more value when I get
to bring it back and share it. And so it
brought me back to the documentary filming side of things
(13:20):
inadvertently in a way. So there was never this rejection
of the family legacy or going towards it. It just
all naturally fell together.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
Scrolling won't change your life, but subscribing just might tap
that button and stay connected to conversations that can't.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
Now back to my legacy, seeing.
Speaker 7 (13:44):
You've talked a lot about the intersection between nature and humanity,
and we're all truly connected and One of the reasons
we're so disconnected is because the lack of connection between
humanity and nature. Can you explain that to us?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
What I have seen a lot and some of the
reading that I have done, is that our disconnect with
nature leads to a disconnect with self. We can look
at neuroscience, for example, when kids have more access to nature,
they're more regulated. When people have more access to plants,
they're more efficient at their jobs. So as we have
retreated from nature and closed ourselves in these amazing climate
(14:22):
controlled environments because we are creative humans, right, we have
distance ourselves from our true human nature, which is that
we are part of nature. When we bring that nature
back in and I mean that even just a plant
in your office, we start to make those connections, But
we need a deeper connection with self.
Speaker 7 (14:40):
First, se Lehn, you said that the work you did
with Tribes on the Edge, that amazing documentary you brought
into the world, was one of the most important contributions
you've made. Tell us about Tribes on the Edge and
why was it so important for you to tell that story.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
So, Tribes on the Edge is a documentary film that
was created at the request of the indigenous people in
the Javari indigenous territory in Brazil. I met them on
a different documentary and they reached back out to me
and said, we want you to come back and tell
our story to the world. We want the world to
know we exist and we don't want to die. That's
not a light request. What I have learned intensely through
(15:18):
this whole project. First of all, to be asked for
help is an honor, because it's very difficult for some people,
including myself, to ask for help, so it's a real
sign of deep trust. It Also, it took me seven
years to do the documentary film between filming and post production,
because I wanted to do it independently. I didn't want
(15:38):
to sell the story. I didn't want somebody else to
edit it and to what they believed should be shared
or what the audience might want. I wanted to honor
the voices of the people who trusted me to share it.
And my conviction in doing that was tested over and
over again. And I say that because I feel like
I got knocked down because it took me seven years
(15:58):
to make it. I did independent, unsustainably, piecemeal, out of pocket,
not highly recommended to do a documentary that way, but
that's what I needed to do. And through that whole process,
I realized it's not just about doing the film, it's
about earning to do the film, and it's about getting
knocked down, standing back up and going no. I believe
in this. This is what I meant to do. This,
(16:19):
this is for me, and I can do this, stand
back up and go again. I've learned so many lessons
in the jungle with them Beto Maruba, who said to me,
you know, Selene, hurrying in the jungle is a waste
of time.
Speaker 8 (16:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
And I look at our lives in our cities, and
I'm in the mountains of western North Carolina and somebody there,
as we're walking around post hurricane said, you know, trying
to hurry in the mountains is a waste of time.
And I was, where have I heard that before? So
I've learned to slow down, which anybody who knows mean
includeed knows like slowing down is not what comes naturally
(16:55):
to me. And yet I still get more done, and
I do it more peacefully and do it more deeply.
So that project, I know it has brought me as
much as I've given it, and it has longevity beyond
what I could have imagined, because what's sprung from it
is an initiative to bring tangible support back to them.
(17:15):
So we're working to bring anti venom because it's one
of the biggest problems they have there outside of a
lot of the illegal activities. And we've created an education
curriculum that was inspired by what they can teach us.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
I want to go further and actually the incredible work
that you're doing there. You reference this and I think
for most of our listeners or watchers that go, oh,
anti venom, but like, this is a real an incredible
life or death reality, and can you actually share a
little bit about the.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Pit viper.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
So what we're referring to is on our first of
three expeditions filming, I brought an anthropologist. We were going
to the Matist tribe. She had lived with them and
spoke their language. And we went into the village and
she had lived there. She knows what it's like. But
we went to bathe just at dusk. Don't bathe at
dusk in that jungle. We were down by the river.
(18:06):
She came down later and as she's walking down to
the river, she screams, snake a snake bit me. So
she was bitten by a pit viper, which is a
highly venomous snake. It is the beginning of the night
in the middle of the jungle, where fifteen hours minimum
by boat from anything. We don't have everything that we
need to get out, right. We don't have a helicopter,
(18:26):
we don't have all of those life saying being devices. Luckily,
there was a nurse station in that village. He the
person that was there attending to healthcare, had anti venom
administered two vials of anti venom. Meanwhile, so now I
have my this is my team, right, these are my decisions.
I have to just get into fix it mode. So
(18:49):
I'm there trying to soothe her. She's speaking rapidly. She's
obviously very stressed and nervous because we don't know what's
going to happen. So I start slowing my breathing down.
I'm rubbing her back, and I'm saying, Barbara, I really
need you to stop talking and slow down. And this
is exactly the pace I start speaking to her. And
(19:11):
then I say, Matt, can you go get the satellite
phone please? And then I'm talking to the nurse and
what's happening for me in my brain in that moment
is I don't have time to worry or panic. I
have time to figure it out, and that's it. I
go into super focus mode in moments of urgency. Then
I look at her and I say, Barbara, would you
(19:32):
be okay if we filmed this? Because I also have
my director hat on of like, yeah, this is truth.
This is a moment that we can share with people
where they understand the dangers that these people face every day.
Just happens to be somebody from my team. We use
the satellite phone, we call I try to get a
helicopter rescue and we get denied and I say, well,
(19:56):
we're happy to pay for the fuel or whatever it is. No,
you don't understand the helicopter is or government officials and
indigenous people only. You entered indigenous land on your own.
You're on your own. This helicopter is not for you.
I have to go back to Barbara and say I'm sorry, Barbara,
you're not the right person for a metavac so and
(20:19):
I get really emotional when I talk about this. I
am so grateful. Ay, she's alive, she's okay. I'm so
grateful for the opportunity to feel, not here not tell
the story, but to feel what it's like for somebody
from my family to be told their life is worth
less than somebody else's. I don't wish it on anyone,
(20:42):
but as far as understanding and empathy is concerned, to
be able to go back to somebody from my team
and say, there's a solution to save you, but it's
not for.
Speaker 6 (20:50):
You, so.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I'll fast forward to the end. Like I said, she's okay.
But what that lesson taught me is it's to be
able to stand in the shoes of somebody and actually
fully feel it and understand it. It is now forever.
Like I my body right now is reacting one hundred
percent to that fear and to that anxiety that she
could have died even though there was a solution for her.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
Your leading an expedition, you had a team that was
depending upon you. You had a team member at this
point that was it was a matter of life and death.
What leadership qualities did that awaken in you or bring
(21:38):
forward in you that you're that you carried forward.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
I think what it did is it confirmed something I
didn't know is that I could I could figure it
out and that there was no room for doubt in
that moment. I had also done a wilderness first responder
course because I used to rock climb and accidents happen,
and so I just wanted to be able to understand
how to react to certain accidents. And so I went
(22:04):
into triage mode. And there were two solutions to get
additional anti venom. One was to send our fast boat
but potentially not have enough fuel the next day to
get the entire team out, and we were going through
uncontacted indigenous territory so we couldn't stop. Or I would
send the slow boat risking getting the additional anti venom
too late. But then I had enough fuel to get
(22:26):
my whole team out the next day. So I also
had to make that hard decision. What it did is
it it took. So I'm a highly emotive personal person
like I just I go right to heart when it
comes to things. I had to get practical in that
moment and go into a moment of triage and say
what is the greatest potential outcome. So I had to
(22:49):
send the slow boat because I needed to get everybody
out the next day. And that was really a really
difficult decision.
Speaker 7 (22:57):
To make We're.
Speaker 9 (22:58):
Building something real here, one episode at a time.
Speaker 8 (23:02):
If you want to be part.
Speaker 9 (23:03):
Of it, subscribe, it's free, it matters, and we're just
getting started.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
Now back to my legacy.
Speaker 7 (23:16):
So you two first met through an executive leadership workshop
and you said sale when Ian walked in and you thought,
that's my person, that's my person, which I thought was lovely.
What was it about Ian that made you recognize that
instant sense of connection?
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Oh, you know, it's hard to describe. I mean when
you meet somebody, When you see somebody, don't you go oh,
like your body.
Speaker 8 (23:38):
Literally will lean in right.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Your Your body has such incredible intelligence and we are
forgetting it right. Ourselves have memory. When I have that
and I lean in towards somebody, I go, that's my person,
I'm like, oh I knew something before. I knew it intellectually,
before my mind knew it. My heart knows it, my
body knows it. Right. So when you listen to that
and you actually see how you react towards people and
(24:02):
where you lean into, you'll start to surround yourself with
those people that actually uplift you and who you uplift.
Ian is a heart led person. He is walking kindness.
He is thoughtful, he's generous, and to see that in
the world of today is like getting a handwritten letter
on your birthday. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 8 (24:22):
Ian?
Speaker 5 (24:23):
Are you tearing up?
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Don't you didn't know?
Speaker 9 (24:26):
Yes?
Speaker 5 (24:26):
I love that.
Speaker 8 (24:28):
It's too early for you to cry.
Speaker 5 (24:30):
Never for our listeners, they can't see your face, but
we can. You actually are You're tearing up? That's so beautiful.
Speaker 8 (24:36):
Oh hold it back.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
No, See, this is the thing, This is the thing
about people you love. Is just like, why don't we
do this more? Why don't we tell people what we
see in them?
Speaker 9 (24:47):
Right?
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Why does it take a radio show for us to
be like, Oh my god, you're so squishy. I love you.
Speaker 7 (24:52):
When you first met Selene, what did your heart tell you?
Speaker 8 (24:55):
When I first met Selene, my heart told me, oh,
this one's going to be here for a while. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (25:03):
You met Selene at a very difficult chapter in your life.
How did her presence in that moment, her friendship help
you navigate through that time of your life?
Speaker 8 (25:16):
We met up in the up in the mountains of
Colorado and I just got on a plane after a
conference and I was completely discombobulated, and I rolled in ought,
and I didn't. I guess I wasn't aware this grief
was still it was in the grief state. I thought
maybe it was. I was just, you know, I didn't
(25:40):
know what was going on. And during the first twenty
four hours forty eight hours of meeting the group and
experiencing Selene, there was just this openness. There was this
I remember the first time I saw her. I literally
came in stumbling to the door of my luggage and
it was very late, and she and like a couple
(26:00):
of other folks had waited up for me. They didn't
know who I was. It was very late, and she
just poked at me and she goes, you, We've been
waiting for you. And it was just this like disarming
moment where I was like, oh, okay, I can I
can be here. And in that process of having somebody
wait for you that you didn't know, and someone welcomed
(26:21):
welcoming you in a way that was just so true,
I was able to like expose, I let myself share
the grief that I was in and it was a
very moving period. It was again nobody start crying, but
it was it was something I didn't know I needed
(26:43):
and didn't and it hadn't experienced before in a in
a setting like that where I didn't know people for
very long periods of time. And I just think that
the throughout the weekend of the retreat, she just kept
checking in. It was just moments I would see her
across the room and see how he was so into
(27:04):
the conversation she was having with somebody. And yeah, when
the moments happened, where was she and I were grabbing
coffee at the same time, and we were chit chatting
in the in the kitchen. I forgot that I was sad.
I forgot that there was a hole sitting in my
in my soul of you know, this for the space
of grief. And it was just a moment of reprieve
(27:26):
that I remember in such a space that it was
so heavy for me. And that last that lasted, and
you know, after that retreat, group group chats happened, and
one day she just said, can I call you? Because
your text everyone right, you don't call anyone. And then
(27:47):
she developed this role, She's like, let's just be call friends.
You can call me whenever and I'll call you whenever.
And I just thought that it was also just another
you know, and to tame when people text you. I mean,
my friend texts me like, Hey, can I call you?
This is so ridiculous, said, so many layers between connection.
But she kind of just pushed right. It's a sling poke.
She doesn't push right through it. She gave me, She
(28:08):
gave me, you know this, this access to call someone
when I needed them, and it truly has been a
remarkable friendship.
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Ian.
Speaker 4 (28:18):
Can I just repeat that just for a moment, because
I think that was so profound to be a call
friend Because to your point, we text, we what's up, like,
we use email, like all these things. But the voice,
the connection, the conversation.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I love that. Can we be call friends? And to
establish that more?
Speaker 4 (28:35):
And I on the subject of call friends, Ian, we
learned that something that Selene helped share with you was
the power of yes and thinking yes, And so Slain,
I'm gonna put you on the spot if you don't mind,
can you share with everyone listening and watching this what
is yes and thinking that Ian mentioned was so profound
in his life that you helped open.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Up to him. So it first happened for me. I
was doing a neuro feedback training at a place called
four years of zen out in Seattle, and throughout the
five days of this narrow feedback training, what kept coming
back is that I am a yes and person. I
say yes to the experience, and what else is there?
(29:14):
Yes to the experience and can I share it? Yes?
And how is this valuable for other people? It sometimes
gets me in trouble because it means sometimes I over commit,
which is something else I'm working on. Is setting really
high expectations for oneself that you can do more in
a day than anybody else leads you to disappointment. So
the yes and also has its limits in terms of
(29:35):
being realistic. But there was the word butt that came
in a lot. It comes in a lot of conversations
with people. I would love to do that, but I'm like,
well how about I would love to do that and
let me figure out if I can. And so that's
a little bit of where we've come to with the
yes and.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
I love it.
Speaker 5 (29:56):
Yes, you know what I have learned to what I'm
learning is to do at night a flow list before
I go to bed, separate than a to do list. Yes,
So like the flow list is like being in the
flow or things. And then it's interesting because you get
more done with aligned action. That way, it's a it's
(30:18):
a different way of flowing through through all.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Of that, the to do list is almost like an obligation.
I mean I would write things down I've already done,
just so I could check them off.
Speaker 6 (30:26):
Yes, satisfaction, but oh at that statement, you can have
a lot of honesty for me if you want it
to totally.
Speaker 8 (30:38):
But the flow.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
What I like about that is it fits in the
value system if you if you truly understand your values,
your priorities right, and you see where your interests are.
How much do you talk about things? Where do you share?
Where do you get excited? Like where do you spend
your time money whatever it is? And energy? And then
you actually live within that.
Speaker 5 (30:55):
Yes things are smooth, Yes things have really been.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Yeah, flowing and then when the storm comes you're like,
I got this.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
I love talking to a custo about flolowing.
Speaker 4 (31:08):
So any of our listeners have to tune in to
watch the video versions because Selene were with their hands
in a beautiful way.
Speaker 5 (31:16):
Well, it's it's so interesting too. What I love about
this conversation with you and Ian is that there's so
much conversation now about the challenges of forming relationships and
deep friendships as adults, and it seems like you all,
not you all are proof that it can happen. Yeah,
so obviously there was that instant connection. But what advice,
(31:42):
if any, would you give our listeners that want to
develop these meaningful relationships as adults.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
I mean, I would say, first and foremost, like what
do you care about? What do you want in the world,
And then go and meet with the groups that have
those interests and then you start forming that.
Speaker 6 (32:00):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
If you love salsa dancing, go takes also dancing classes,
you just might meet a really cool friend.
Speaker 4 (32:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
For us, it was this executive retreat and wanting to
better understand ourselves do the internal healing processes so that
we could be more effective, efficient humans, but also just happier,
healthier humans. And then you meet a group of people this,
this executive retreat, which is called purpose built, is about that, right,
(32:26):
And so of course I mean and from that we
call ourselves our heart tribe. Oh we I mean tomorrow
I fly to California. Ian's picking me up from the airport,
and then we go to one of our group's wedding
celebrations and a small group of us from that executive
treat are coming together because we get to celebrate each
other and hang out with you. We love beautiful, So
(32:47):
they're lifelong friendships. I am one hundred percent in for
like meeting adult friends.
Speaker 8 (32:53):
Yes, it's the best, It's the.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Best, Selane.
Speaker 9 (32:56):
There's a lot of hopelessness in our name and world.
How do you find hope?
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I think it's a choice to not step into the hopelessness.
A lot of what us out there right now is
meant to create chaos and fear, because when people are
feeling fearful, they will retreat. And when you are protecting self,
you're not standing up for the greater collective. So what
I try to do is not inundate myself with the
(33:25):
chaos and the fear, and continue what I know is
true and right and look for those places, those people,
those activities that actually elevate. What skills do I have
that I can lend to what's happening in this world today?
So I'll take one small example. I speak Spanish, So
is there something I can do with my knowledge and
(33:46):
language to help people who are right now really being
attacked and who have a lot of fear? Can I
solve everything. No, but I can use this one skill
right when I am feeling down, when I am feeling stressed,
I do call people like Ian, I'm like, I'm having
a hard day, and immediately there's a rebalancing right when
you have those people, because that's the recalibration in any relationship,
(34:10):
is that when you are a little bit down, somebody
else will be a little bit up, and then you
come together and you're like, okay, all as well, right,
and then go back and do that bit. This goes
back a little bit to what we were talking about
earlier in terms of values and priorities and flow is
where is the place where I have the greatest impact,
but also where I have the greatest energy.
Speaker 5 (34:31):
And one of the things that the four of us
are doing collectively to your point, is that we are
we have an initiative called Realize the Dream, and we
are igniting a youth movement and we are having people
all over the country and world join us. We are
doing one hundred million hours of service by the one
(34:52):
hundredth birthday of Martin Luther King Junior as a way
to build the beloved community. So when you talked about
the fact that you speak Spanish, so with so much
you know, going on now, and people want to know,
how can I help? How can I be of service?
The fact that you could go and volunteer speaking Spanish
and then log those hours to this initiative that we're
(35:15):
all collectively building the beloved community of Martin Luther King's Junior.
We're all serving. That's something that we all, as a
team and partners are extraordinarily excited about.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
I love that word beloved. I mean, you can take
that in so many directions. Be loved, I.
Speaker 8 (35:32):
Said, loved.
Speaker 5 (35:34):
That's how I taught our daughter when she was a toddler,
about the beloved community that her grandparents talked about so much.
And I was trying to figure out a way to
break it down. What is this beloved community? And then
it came to me that if I could teach her,
if we could teach our children to be love, that's
one way that we can create that beloved community.
Speaker 4 (35:58):
And today's all been about relationship and connection and friendships
and family. And you are the proud uncle to two nephews,
and I want to ask you, like, what what rule
can answer? And uncles playing people's lives and what do
you hope your legacy will be with them.
Speaker 8 (36:15):
I mean I tease them most of the time, but
you humble, Yeah, I mean, they're very they're very They're
they're wonderful children. My sister and her husband have done
an amazing job. I think, you know, my greatest joy
is just watching them grow and you know, poking of
I see, you know, you see so much in kids,
and I'm just so proud of them because they they
(36:36):
ask thoughtful questions, They do the hard they'll go out
and do the uncomfortable stuff. Yes, they will drag their feet,
they will not want to get off their you know,
whatever game console they're playing or their phones, but they
do get up and they take their grandmother to breakfast,
and they do their rollers, and you know, they call.
They they're both at college now, so they both call
(36:57):
home quite often. And I think for me, it's those
opportunities of making sure that I show up for them
and I we have we have our own text threat
that my sister's not on. So there's a lot of
you know, there's a lot of fun, fun things exchanged
on there. I think, if anything, it's my you know,
(37:18):
what I hope I can impart of them is be kind, share,
you know, extend your hand to somebody who's struggling. I
used to think that, you know, you know, your your
legacy is the titles you have in the fancy office
and the physical feats you could achieve. And so for
(37:38):
them seeing that part of their uncle in that aspect,
it's fine. But I've come to realize that it's about
how you make people feel and how you can show
people that they can they can be who they are authentically,
that that they don't have to fit in, you know,
to hide parts themselves. I want they show up in
(38:00):
their whole self. And I think that's something the beautiful
that my sister and her husband have done. I hope
I've given them a little bit of inspiration as I
walk around and you know, I'm not look I'm a
mixed race queer man, and I don't hide it. I
hope that they see that as a positive thing to
be in the world, because you know, we need it.
(38:22):
We need it. We need them all shapes and sizes
and from all beliefs, and you know, so I just
hope that the kindness that I extend to others, they've
seen that that their parents, the kindness their parents extend
to others, and that creates a ripple effect where they
take that and pay it forward.
Speaker 4 (38:43):
Slann and Ian, I love this conversation about relationships, about friendships,
about seeing the good in each other connecting in this way.
I leave with this idea to challenge our listeners and
our viewers to call a friend, not to text them,
not to email them, to call a friend. And imagine
(39:03):
some people probably saying, well, what am I going to
say to my friend?
Speaker 3 (39:06):
Invite them to.
Speaker 4 (39:06):
Dim sum, tell them about yes and order the some
chicken feet, and tell them about an incredible story between
Selene and Ian and this great friendship and all the
beautiful lessons that you shared with us today. So too
in and of course Selene, thank you for living your
legacy with us and sharing your thoughts with all our
(39:27):
listeners and viewers.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
Thank you all, Thank you, beautiful, thank you.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Thank you, thank you for joining us. If you enjoy
today's conversation, subscribe, share, and follow us on at my
Legacy movement on social media and YouTube. New episodes drop
every Tuesday, with bonus content every Thursday. At its core,
this podcast honors doctor King's vision of the beloved community
(39:54):
and the power of Connection, a legacy plus studio production
distributed by iHeartMedia. Creator and executive producer Suzanne Hayward, co
executive producer Lisa Lyle. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Hosts And Creators
Craig Kielburger
Marc Kielburger
Martin Luther King III
Arndrea Waters King
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