May 13, 2025 • 51 mins
Hey Lil' Mommas and Gentiles-A-Like! We will be back with new episodes of My Momma Told Me next week. In the meantime, enjoy a classic with special guest Brandon Kyle Goodman and rate/review the podcast here. Bye b*tch!
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Do Black men have big dicks? Langston and David discuss with Brandon Kyle Goodman (Netflix's Big Mouth) about the greatest and most talked about rumor across all races. We get to the bottom of whether size matters or whether it's the motion of the ocean. Also, we talk about David's encounter with the Folsom Street Fair
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I feel like if I had, if I was walking
around naked, I would have to have some weird kind
of except like not a belly chain per se. But
I feel like I would have to have I don't
think I could. I mean I could just be naked.
I'd have to have like a like a new hat or.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I love the idea of you being fully naked except
for a thick Gucci bell you don't wear. You just
wear a gorgeous Gucci belle.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm just going I don't think it would be like
I need some garnish on the plate, like I'm not
just gonna have to stay.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Doesn't chips in your kala bears are racist?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Money, She's tardy.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Stuff can't tell me?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Bang bang bang skeek skeek skeet. There it is, there
it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another another phenomenal
episode of My Mama Told Me.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of
black conspiracy.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Theio, and we finally worked to prove that Tay Diggs
may be, in fact, the only man in history to
work his way back from the title of Oreo. They
were shaman te they were shaman ting, They told him
all he did was service the white devil.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
But look at him now.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I'm not gonna talk shit because T Diggs used to
follow me on Twitter.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
We're very close.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
T Diggs. They called him all the mean words you
can call a black man, and now look at him.
He's the funniest man on the internet. And he got
a bad bitch on his arm and sures you fuck
little Fizz. But that's none of our business.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
That doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
That ain't got nothing to do with nothing. Come on,
I'm and yes, and little Fizz is a cutie pie.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But he's like You're like, he's like that cute. Well,
he's never gonna look like a man. And I'm David forty. Yeah,
little Fizz is always gonna look like the coolest dude
in the eleventh grade.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
That's that's that makes sense to me. Yeah, he's got you. Yeah,
he's got big. When I graduate, I'm gonna do this
and yeah, yeah, like you.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Heard, he might go D two, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
He's probably going to a Juco and it's gonna get
sort of stuck in that transition.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
Yeah, then he just ends up working for Costco Corporate.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
But you know, he's got just a fine life for
Little Fizz, but it's not what he's dreamt of.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
No, did he think he was gonna live in Tulsa forever?
But that's how that's where it took.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
All right, we can't we can't talk Little Fizz forever.
I don't know how a conspiracy about Tay Diggs ended
up being a Little Fizz conversation, but that's the mastery
of this podcast. I'd say our guests today, I'm very
excited that they're here. Been a part of so much
cool shit, specifically Big Mouth on Netflix, very responsible for
(03:24):
all the great work over there, human resources also responsible.
Brilliant writer, thinker, talker, motherfucker give it up for our guests,
Brandan Kyle good Man. Ain't nobody got time for that. Yeah,
I'm just quicking go on. I like that intro that Yes, yeah,
(03:48):
hell yeah, How you doing? I'm good? How you doing?
We're chilling?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Any thoughts on Little Fizz and what he brings to
the table or Ty Diggs either either one really all
be two k that's the gay one. No, Little Fizz
is the maybe two straight one. He's he's the rapper,
the lights and rapper in the group.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Omar lady.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
He is now Diggs lover. God see I was. I
haven't kept up with my T Digs since. And that's
that's your fault. We're not that we didn't do that
to you. You had the chance, you know. I love
but I love it good Ta Digs. I saw him
on Headwick and The Angry Inch. That was the last
time I saw, which was he was.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Incredibly accomplished Broadway actor. Don't do that to come on
and then you can go to Broadway.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yes, and best Man is getting a TV series. Listen,
I'm a big fan. I'm saying the world had turned
on him. Uh not. Ain't nothing wrong with that? Well, well,
we we can't bullshit any longer. We we have a
(05:09):
wonderful conspiracy theory that you came to us today with.
And I will say this has been a conspiracy theory
that sort of has just been sitting there for a
while and nobody's touched it. Literally, no one has brought
it up now. It's not even one that we've I
think broached in any kind of way. And it's a
very simple one. You said, my mama told me black
(05:31):
men have big dicks.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
You want to ford the.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Pog Yeah, I love being here. This is great, it's great, chaotic,
whatever you want to call that, love it, We'll take it.
Tell me more, tell us more about this this black
man and their big their big penises.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I mean, I feel like everyone knows that as a
as a theory, that the ideas that black men have
like nine inch dicks or above.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
And then it is on the small side. Okay, you
know you have put a number on.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
So if you are under nine inches and you know
you're not black if you don't have a nine inch dick.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
It's really what I'm trying to say. I want to
I want to start some controversy here, but.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
I feel like, is it possible to be double black?
Then asking.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Ship David, well, it looks like I'm still half black.
All right, we got a double black and I have black.
I love it. Yeah, I mean you know that's the thing.
And then and then, as you know, I feel like
you hear that theory really young, like when people start
talking about dick's at like fourteen fifteen, you start hearing that,
and then you start measuring your dick to make sure
(06:45):
that you're actually full black.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
Yeah, and then you're like, do I go balls? Do
I do do I pin the balls back and go.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yes, yeah, sure. There's a lot of strategies to make
up all.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So if you were like me, you're a chubby kid,
you got a little bit you can push back.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
I call it the reserves.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Well, what do y'all think? Where do you measure from?
Do you measure from the balls? You measure from? Like
the where where would you measure your penis from?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I measured penetrable inches.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
WHOA, that's respectful. I like that answer. That's that's a
great answer. I will say that. And I don't mean
to jump jump the gun here, but in my research,
I actually read about the the technical way in which
researchers measure, and it's from the top where the pelvic
bones sort of starts above the penis that you're allowed
(07:36):
to measure. You're not allowed to Yeah, you're not allowed
to measure from the side nor underneath, because you're going
to gain to your point some some impenetrable inches and
or at least like a boost from the side and underneath.
We'll see. Now I'm having an identity Crisis's not going
to measure because you've been you've been cooking your books
(07:59):
for a while. Somebody's been juicing, you know what I mean?
Damn y'all, y'all blowing up my whole my whole sense
of self. Okay, great.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I think this whole topic has needed to be broached
for a long time.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Though it's been it's been necessary. It's a lot of pressure. No,
like it feels like to live.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Under this, as you know, Langston's to be very dark
skinned and live under this. It's like you gotta have waves,
and you gotta have a big old dick, damn, And
that's what you do. And you look great and gold
and green and yellow, yellow and yellow, and you look
at my old yellow.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, I don't know that. I I've what you're describing
does not feel like the anxiety that I necessarily had
to grow up under. And I acknowledge that you never
felt like you would never felt big dick anxiety. Oh No,
I had massive, big dick anxiety. I'm saying that none
of it felt like I was. It didn't feel like
I would be like laughed out of the building if
(09:15):
I didn't have the biggest dick. Do you know what
I'm saying? And what you're describing feels like it's not
just have a healthy sized penis, it's have a penis
worth talking about, and or you are less black than
you appear, yes, for sure, which is porn culture too, right.
I mean like a lot of us as young adults
(09:36):
would also as grown adults, yet our idea of what
sexism and.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
What body should look like from porn culture. I mean,
I think it's what women are currently in the state unpacking. Right,
like that the male.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Gaze has had an idea of what women look like
and look like during sex, and it's all from porn.
And so the same thing is true for ethnic groups.
It's like the idea of what an Asian man or
an Asian woman looks like, what a Black man looks like,
it's all from porn. It's all like fetish and not real.
I mean, those dicks are real, but like the pressure
that the entire community has.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Some of them, some of them, I don't know they
have been injected. Yes, yeah, Sometimes you're like, whoa, hey.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Brother, it's new.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You can't I will say, I will say, there's every
and maybe y'all have experienced this. Every once in a while,
you bump into a porn where it's just a man
with a regular sized penis, and a part of me
is like, hell, yeah, let's go, let's go.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
Book Mark, look at him doing it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
He's just like, yes, yes, looks normal to me.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
No, that I think that this one though, this we
do all.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I don't think there's any black men who have never
come into situations where that was what it was expected.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Right, we all live under this.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Umbrella, right, Yeah, No, I think I think this is
it's a it's a very universal pressure I think placed
on black men, especially about their penis size, in a
way that maybe you all have experienced this. White guys
can openly joke about their penis being inadequate or or
not big, and it sort of becomes like an easy
(11:28):
punchline that they don't ever have to run from.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
So they're always saying, yeah, that's the thing, I can't
dance like a little dog.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Just like that.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Well, I as a question, I grew up going to
a lot of pwi's predominantly white institutions, and so I
felt that pressure, especially about dick size. But we're either
of you around mostly like grew up in mostly black
high schools or black schools.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Was the pressure the same?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
No. I moved to the country when I was fourteen
year not the country of America. No, Like I move
to a rural area, yeah, no, Liker, rural area. Yeah,
when I was kind of you know, just off the
porch if you will.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
That's all that is every and especially when you're a kid,
because you have no like yeah, the point is, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
That's all those little those little trollops wanted.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
M damn my high school. No, that was the correct
way to behave inside of this podcast, we don't apologize
to anybody for anything we do. I grew up in
a neighborhood that was weirdly like mixed, like not not.
(12:54):
It was probably predominantly white, but not in a way
that was like, oh ship, we're like one of few.
So we had like a nice mixture. And that meant
that I don't necessarily know that I felt any special
pressure from a white community versus a black community. It
kind of felt like just whoever you were trying to
(13:14):
fuck meant you didn't want that anxiety spreading, you know
what I mean, Like we all knew the same shit.
I just wonder if like he went to like a
southern black church, if like you felt the same pressure
that your dick had to be big or in the
Black Church, we like there was a grounding reality of like, nah,
like you know, dick's coming off side. Yeah, the preachers like,
(13:35):
hey five and a half, ain't that.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
As long as your money's green, you're good over here.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
As long as you tied that ten percent, We don't care, right, Hey,
one small ones wants to climb on rocks. Hey, God
took ten percent off me from the top. You know,
we'll get it back and you will get it back
and get it And that's that's what the Jehovah's witnesses
(14:04):
are talking about.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
That knock on doors, it's really a tax, faith tax.
They take a faith bax right off the tip.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Brother, do you believe or not? God's gonna give you
that dick back. God's gonna give me that dick bag. Yes,
you heard the good news.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
God is gonna give you the rest of you.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Don't give you that dick back. Okay. We we have
gone a while now and we haven't made much progress
in terms of understanding this conspiracy for yourself, Brandon, tell
me do you personally believe in this conspiracy? How much
(14:57):
or how much are you bought it? Well, so, the
thing that I like, I'm I'm I'm a homosexual. So
I gratulation research and I've done some data and yeah,
some dick research, some honatomy as we call it. So
what I fully know is uh that that is not
true that that black dicks come many sizes and there
(15:19):
some that are you know, really really quite large and some.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
That are.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Some that are very tiny. And to me, the biggest
thing that I have learned is it's how you use it.
You know, like which you hear motion in the ocean,
but you're like, nah, I still want to tenis this?
But as an adult at thirty five, I'm like, oh, yeah,
it really is more about how you use it. Because
there are people who have twelve inch sticks and are
it's a weapon, and.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Yeah, what else would you do? You have to rob
the pharmacy with that?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
What are you just gonna You're just gonna pick up
your medication and buy candy corn. No, you're gonna hurt people.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
If you go so far as to say a twelve
inch stick is a burden. Yeah, it is someone with
an eleven and a half inch stick.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I can that's the way you want to stop? Yeah,
what did.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
If they say any more than two hundred and forty
thousand dollars a year and it doesn't feel any different.
That's the same with penis, Like.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
That's all you have to go to porn right because
like regular freak, I ain't trying to deal with that
every day.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Freak you are. You are a fucking weirdo. You get
out of yere.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Shad with big dicks. That's good energy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I've been trying to do it for years. Because here's
what I'm saying. You don't have a twelve inch penis.
It might have been too big before.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
So extrapolate that by however, many twelve is.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Crazy, dog, that's crazy. Twelve twelve is a burden. I
don't think much. I don't think that that's even at
least in talking to too many of my female friends.
It never seems to be the desire, like it's a
desire to see it. I think we all want to
see the motherfucker, but nobody wants that inside of them.
I have had it, like we can do this. This
(17:16):
is really interesting. I've had a twelve inch dick inside
me once and whoa, Yeah, I'm a brag about that
because that you know, that took a lot of breathing,
a lot of douche, and a lot of praying and
it was great. But it's one of those things where
you're like, that's a that's a vacation dick. You know
what I'm saying. That's not like that. I want to
be with every I don't want to marry that dick.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
You know, I don't want to ride a roller coaster
after work on two No.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
No, Yeah, Yeah, that's that's like, which is why I
said twelve inch chick is a porn dick. That's like
that's something you're like, Oh, I'm an I'm gonna look
at that. I'm gonna see it one time, but I'm
not I'm not trying to. Yeah, you know how you
know how Kumel got buff.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And like uh and like then we found out how
he did it and it's like, oh, he hasn't had
an almond for like two years, and it's like that's
that's what that seems like, you know what I mean,
where it's like you gotta really be down to put
in the work every single day to experience that that
level of buughness and big dick.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You would have to be an event like you couldn't
just like lazy right before we go to bed seting.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
No no no no, or like wake up sext it.
You really get into the intestines at that point like
oh my scary, Like I'm so scary.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
That's when you're really beating guts because that you were
beating that never felt applicable to what I do.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
You are beating the fun out somebody's guts, so you
know you can't you can't surprise somebody with that. You
really have to plan that out, are you? Are you
at all afraid that at some point down the line,
your doctor's gonna sit you down and be like, Brandon,
we've got some bad news. Your guts are beat to
death from from that that twelve inches dick you to honor?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I hope, I I want to bash for that. If
if that happens, like I feel like wow, thanks.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
There's there's no technical term for this, but but there's
bruises all over your guts from the beating. If it's
a gay doctor and they be like congratulations.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
If my ship was a foot long, every time I
completed with someone, I would put a notch in it
like a bed bone.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
All right, I think we did enough to earn a break.
We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more
Brandy Kaw good Man more. My mama told.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Me, welcome back to my mama told me the podcast
where we are today actually talk about dicks.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
The way that y'all are not acknowledging that drop. Damn,
it is crazy to me. You're just going into your
script like that.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
You know it was uh, you know, it's just it's
just one of them drops.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Oh my god, that was unhinged. I like it.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
But we are back, and yeah, we are talking about
two black men have big old hanging hogs.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Big old hanging hogs. Now, now, Brandon, you you've experienced
a big old black dick. You've had the twelve venture,
do you? And then this is a question, I guess
I've always wanted to ask, what is the preferred size?
Is there a preferred size? Where you're like that is
exactly correct. Yes, I'm glad you're asking this.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I'm like, it's funny because my publics is on here,
and I'm like, I wonder if they're like listening to
me talk about the dicks that I've taken and they're like, what,
how are we going to spend this.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think I think you're spinning a chest, right, yeah, right,
and spin grand. This is the book. This is it.
We've got the follow up.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
One hundred and seventyix pages about me writing twelve inch sticks.
Nine inches to me is like perfect eighteen it's like
a perfect that's still pretty big for regular dicks.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, that's just still a pretty you know.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I would say that I like a big dick, So
eight to nine is like the right, like if it's like,
oh it's big, and also like, uh, it's not too
much work for me personally. Not to brag, but that's
that's my that's my jam. Like eight to nine.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I love that for you. That's good for you, that
that's that you even have that choice.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Yeah, like that you because we have no choice.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I can't be like, oh, seven to fifteen centimeters, there's
no we don't get to talk about that. You don't
get to you just get to say, oh, you can
say is like it was great or I didn't like
it that much.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I want to point out I want to point out that,
uh that ten centimeters is full dilation for a woman
in labor, So seven to fifteen, seven to fifteen for
a woman just walking around is maybe the loosest pussy
in all of history.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Oh so now you're shaming people.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Okay, I don't know. It was that kind of fucking podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
I apologize.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
You're out there and you're goose. I'm on your side.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I think tight lood.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Yeah, it's it's like pizza, man, It's all pretty good.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah. I feel like I mean, like, have y'all had
amlesex Like penetrated name.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
In my butt?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
No? No, no, no, no, no I know not you're no. Yeah,
but like have you fucked somebody's ass?
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Yeah, it's it's too much of it to do for me.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Yeah, I don't. I don't care for it. It's it's
not it's not my jam.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
It's just a lot of it's just like a lot
of like I'm not that patient.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Got it, got it, got it? Yes, you do have
to be patient.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, but maybe I always wonder maybe had it has it?
Maybe if it was somebody who did it more often,
it would be like more of a get to it.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
But every time I've done it's really like a production.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
How long does it take?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Usually?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I'm so fascinated about this, Like.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
An extra couple of minutes of just like really though,
like heading and then a.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Little bit.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
And then a little bit.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
More and started you know what, so it's like this,
It's like it's like a little bit and then used
to that, and then used to that this is great
for an audio medium.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Well, I think we can explain it, David was.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Because my mom does listen to this.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I think I think this won't be the thing that
jumps her off board with This conversation.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Is very open.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
So I've never I've never vagina, so when I fucking
asked whole that is generally how it works. Always yeah, yeah,
you're doing me wrong.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
It can be like that for a vagina though.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Okay, okay, yes, vaginas aren't always as blossomed as as
you would love them to be and or ready for
whatever is that ready feels like a bad word, feel wild,
I don't love. I didn't have to tune it tag
in on this. I could have just left the conversation
(24:42):
of the research started, all right. I did do some
research on this, Okay, Okay, No, what I'm saying is
sometimes vaginas are not as warmed up as they need
to be, and the US it takes longer to enter.
That is that the conversation. Are y'all part of the
(25:06):
warming up of the vagina? For sure?
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Oh? I eat everything on my plate.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh yeah, that's what'd be like to hear never, never, never,
not attempted to warm that thing up. I've failed a
few times. How long do you warm it up for you?
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Outside of time?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Outside of time?
Speaker 5 (25:24):
I will. I grew up. I grew up with a
weird body. You gotta make up for it. I I
don't give a ship, bro, you can go for a
long long whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I never checked my watch. Now, whatever do you? Is that?
Speaker 5 (25:39):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (25:39):
I want to ask because I feel like so often
that is not how straight men respond to this question.
So like, was that something you learned from from your community,
from other Like how did y'all get so in tune
and sensitive to?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Like? No?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Oh, I gotta eat this for a while and take
care of it.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I think I'm just a person who's eager to please
in general. Yeah, I think it's I think it's a
personality trait looking for validation.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Probably I was about to say, I I similarly seek
affirmation in a way that is probably poisonous to but
also great for eating pussy. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's yeah, because I do know that's not the thing.
I know a lot of people who don't even do it,
which seems like, then you do you even like pussy? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
No, anytime, anytime I've talked to a man who has
said some ship like that, be like, weird ass, nigga,
what's wrong with you? Come on, dog, that's it's dope
down there. Pussy. Oh, that's a that's a learn learn
on the fly for your boy.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
Yeah, the first time was probably bad.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
The first time is bad.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Well, now you get older and then you've yeah, you've
met a lot of women who have you know, slow
down or don't like this or whatever. So like it's
definitely time on task and like listening to partners. But
at the beginning, I was just go. I just was like, right,
have you ever seen the Tasmanian Devil? I was like,
if I could take an aspect of that incorporated into
(27:14):
my game.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
It's a weird thing. And I'm not sure if this
is true for for the gay community, but certainly in
the straight community it's a weird thing where we are
not often afforded the option to not know what we're doing,
and so you you kind of gotta you gotta show
up like your fucking Tom Cruise and Top Gun, even
if you're you're one of them other ones in Top
(27:40):
Gun that died. You know what I mean? Like you
gotta really be be ready to do whatever and not
not doubt yourself, right right, right right?
Speaker 5 (27:49):
Well wait, who taught you how to do you suck dick?
That's the first question?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah, you to suck dick? Specifically, Yes, a friend of
mine named Michael. Damn, damn, that's nice, Michaels. It was
a white boy, Michaels know how to suck dick.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
We met my Yes, if you want to get topped
off or you need a cork, go see Michael. It
was like freshman year of college.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
He taught me which now people follow me called the
bkg y the Brandon yawn because it's all about yawning
so you can open up the back of your throat.
If you're a singer, you know this like opening your
your soft palad I think, so you can get more
of the dick in.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
I think the community service this should maybe be the clip.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Honestly, this was super informative and not in a way
that I can offer anything, but boy, do I feel
wiser than I I started today.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Yeah, if you if people have problems like gagging on dicks,
it's because you're you're blocking your throat, so you have
to yawn open.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
It's almost like that you're blocking your blessing.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
You're blocking say that to your name, but you're blocking
your bless it.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Open that throat. That's a different service than the one
we started pastor Okay, we can't deleyt dally anymore. We've
got to get into this research I did. I did
(29:18):
do a fair amount of research on this subject, and
there are surprisingly fewer studies about this conversation than one
would expect. Part of the issue I think is the
reporting and or the collecting of data. Right, how many
people essentially are willing to have their penises measured and
then documented for science? And then the alternative is if
(29:39):
they're not willing self reporting, which objectively seems like flawed science. Right,
you always want to add extra Come on, man, I can't.
I couldn't possibly tell a professional.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I'm going here and with your eyes this happens.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
This person has a briefcase. God damn it, they're gonna
hear a little extra.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Yeah, you were you're a scientist. You went to college.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I'm I'm funny, I'm lying.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
No. In fact, a study from the the Kinsey Institute
in nineteen eighty nine found that all of the participants
who initially claimed in EREC cock length of ten inches
on lengthon they did not say cock. And that's listen,
I am. I am one hundred percent telling you I
don't use cock personally as a descriptor ever. It's not
(30:36):
my thing. But this is the way that they awaited community. Like,
I think so right.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I've always I always thought it was smut, Like it's
like people who were really into smut in general.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Oh, it's like it's like filthy people.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
Yeah, like when you hear somebody say like twat and you're.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Like, yeah, yeah, you a British, why are you talking
like that? Yeah? Good friend, Yeah gotcha. But they said
those who claimed in a wreck penis length of ten
inches or more turned out to have a considerably smaller length.
What is considerably smaller? One participant, thank you for asking that.
(31:12):
One participant even claimed to have an eleven inch dick,
but it turned out to actually be six and a
half inches. Found out you can't do six and a
half to eleven. Okay, you could do eleven twelve, but
that's double. Listen. Look, I've told people I can dunk before,
(31:37):
and I know I can't. I've been there, big dog,
I see your vision my mind. It's just crazy. You
really doubled it.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Nobody was gonna find out the dick study.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
He was like, Yeah, that's what's crazy. He really, he
really bugged the fuck out. But but the point is
that in general, it seems like lying on your own
dick is a tendency. Also not for nothing. And this
was me putting my conspiratorial head on. I think part
of the reason that there are fewer studies here is
because white scientists might be avoiding the study that that
(32:19):
largely largely would would prove their fears to be true.
Do you know what I mean? Like, it's one thing
to find out that your penis is smaller than another
person's penis. It's another thing to do actual science work
to find out that your penis is smaller than another
man's pain.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Now I have a theory. Go with me here.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I'm listening ultimately, because like you've done the research you said,
it's across the board.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
I think white.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Men actually have an easier time living under the fallacy
that they have smaller dicks, because then if you just
have normal.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
You're amazing, You're excited, you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (32:58):
It's easier for them.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Once again, ship rolls downhill and we have to carry
the burden of this big.
Speaker 5 (33:06):
Fucking bark.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Know nothing about that.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Come on down. That's true.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
If a white guy pulls out a nine inch dick,
you're like, oh my god, if okay, well that's what
I wanted to be.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
And they're both above average.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
They so they we have to be normal to be
that's we have to be twice as good as they do.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Damn Obama was right.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Come on, Dad said to him, we gotta be twice
twice as hard to get half the rewards, twice the
di and all your dudes online posting these big ass
two foot black dicks.
Speaker 5 (33:41):
You're not helping us.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah, you're you're hurting the community. Twitter. Please just said
it to the d M post everyone.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Normal dicks rise. We need a normal dick and porn
for black men.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Move. Come on, a little fizz. If you're listening and
using him while you got a normal dick, pull it out.
Let everybody see it, stand up, stand up for us.
Come on, now, that said, I did find a study
that supports there being some legitimacy. Brandon, this is actually
jetting a little bit against what you're saying. But there
(34:16):
seems to be some reporting that at least supports the
legitimacy of the claim that there is there are racial
designations in terms of size. A twenty thirteen paper published
in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, you know
that one that we all read. Researchers reviewed penis size
reported from one hundred and thirteen countries, and what they
(34:38):
found was that men of African descent tended to report
the longest penises, on average, around six point three three inches.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
I've heard, and this might be somebody would dreads told
me this, So.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I'm not he said, grammarizing, and then and then what
did he say after that?
Speaker 5 (35:11):
I have heard that it's not a race thing.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
It is a climate thing because places with warmer climates,
the body, like the extremities are free to flow longer,
but in colder climates it ensureds you well to be constricted. Wow, yeah,
(35:36):
that's just what I've heard.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Now, now this would I think possibly disagree with that
where you know, black black men were coming in at
six point three three inches, while people of East Asian
descent were averaging around four point three one inches, and
most Europeans tended to fall somewhere near five point seventy
one inches in this study. Hmmm.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
And I've always wondered about the other side of the coin,
which is obviously Asian men. Ent Okay, here's the question, Brandon,
because I haven't done the research on this.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Have you seen a huge Asian one?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (36:14):
Huge? See there we go, all.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Right, Yeah, that's why I'm like, yeah, that's why.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
That's why I said, like even there, there might be
something to the studies of like like majority of black
people have bigger dicks, but it's not across the board,
and I think that's what anyways, Like, I mean, I've
seen some white guys with like massive dicks.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You're just like, how.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
The same with whenever you see a white person with
like a fat ass, You're like, oh my god, like
how did you that?
Speaker 2 (36:45):
It's you know, it's not it's not a one to one,
it's not a complete rule. Yeah, it's like saying a
nor wall, what's that.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
With the horn on it?
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, that's that whale with the horn. It's like, as
soon as I said it, I felt like either this
is gonna kill or these niggas don't know normal.
Speaker 5 (37:06):
But it's like real, it's not like a mythical.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
No, it's not mythical at all. I though we're talking
about the one from ELF. No, that's the same thing,
but that is a real And yeah, oh I know that.
See we all learned something today. Yeah, look at that.
Speaker 5 (37:22):
Now.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
It's worth noting that the information that I told you
is from a self report, right, That obviously makes the
information a little rocky. But part of what they argue
with this is that a different research study published in
the and I can't believe this is a real place,
the International Journal of Impotence Research, in which the measurements
(37:43):
were performed by trained researchers. This wasn't a self report.
These were researchers measuring penises. And this study, which was
taken in Brazil, involved six hundred and twenty seven men
ages eighteen to eighty six, and they found that black
participants had an average penis size of about six and
a half inches, while white participants had an average penis
(38:04):
size at about six point two two inches. So just
shy of the black penises. Interesting.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
I don't know what to make of that, because Brazilian
it's all crazy down there.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
And that's part of what they say with the shit,
is that like, while this does sort of affirm the
original shit, it also is specifically in Brazil, they're also
only factoring for white and black people, and they they
aren't considering any of the other races. And if it's
all in Brazil, maybe Brazil they just got big old dicks,
(38:36):
and they do in other places.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And they're super racially mixed, right, that's why they're so beautiful, right,
because it's.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, it's not as clearly I think defined in terms
of black and white the way that our shit is. Right, Yeah, Brandy,
you you had a I think an important question here.
I was wondering, like, where where did the kind of
obsession with or the importance and dick size come from?
I mean maybe.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
I think it's the white men. You don't see a
lot of black cook holds, is what I'm saying. Yet yet, fair, fair,
that's true, that's true equality when we start being into holding.
Oh yeah, and then there's like a video for white guys,
it's like breeder.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
I do think I do think to some extent, and
this feels like the easy answer, but I think it's
very true. It's patriarchal, right, that like, it's a form
of us creating power and or reducing power from another
individual as a way of essentially, you know, being able
to own more property in people and stuff. It's not
(39:50):
it's not without its own weaponized intension. Yeah, yeah, I
mean I think that that is the smart, real answer.
Speaker 5 (39:57):
I'm going.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Color comments, Harry.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
One of the things that I actually stumbled upon in
this that I did not expect to find was information
about the differences between gay and straight dicks.
Speaker 5 (40:24):
That's a that ended.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Up somehow becoming part of the research that I bumped into,
and in fact, in nineteen ninety nine, researchers in the
US found that gay men are likely to have an
average dick size of six point three two inches when erect,
compared to five point nine to nine inches in straight man. Likewise,
gay men were found to have penises at the average
(40:47):
zero point one five inches larger in circumference. WHOA damn. Yeah,
so y'all that mean good for you, Brandon, that's baby,
you know, so this is great for me.
Speaker 5 (41:01):
I can't even understand.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yeah, what's the demographic of the gate Like, do they
like they oh my god, like are there is it
a melting pot of different ethnic backgrounds of these gays
or it's just like these are some some gays over
here and some Hey, dog, the research happened in nineteen
ninety nine. You know, damn well, this wasn't a warm
melting pot of anything. This is right. This is six
(41:23):
white dudes that they pulled off the street.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
That's still that that that raises all kinds of questions,
because then maybe you're your research is a little off
because you've been out here in the valley of the
huge dicks. These poor straight ladies. They're over man, fuck
they're over here, fucking play with these little.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Ones, right, they're over here, fucking five eight you know
what I mean? You know, five eight claiming five to
eleven and just like nah nah nah nah.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
I also have wanted to say this as soon as
I found out that we were doing this. I think
there goes to a level of people not having good
sense of spatial relation. I think that's what throws this
all off. I think understanding the size of things and
being able to eyeball the size of something without without
a ruler is a skill that I don't think that
(42:17):
most people have. Like I've done construction work before, so
that's the only reason that I feel like I can
even eyeball something. But I just I've met too many
people I've met this, I guess more women than men,
where they're like, he has a six foot penis and
you're like, how's all am I?
Speaker 5 (42:34):
And she's like seven.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Four And I'm like, okay, so you don't.
Speaker 5 (42:38):
Even know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Like I feel like that that has because we all
converted into inches, But what is six inches off the
top of.
Speaker 5 (42:46):
Your head, do you know? Like? And I don't think
that is that common.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Of a skill exactly exactly, So we all have this,
Like so many people have this thing, specifically with dicks.
I've heard so many people swear to God how big
this dick is or thistick, but it's like, you don't
know how long.
Speaker 5 (43:01):
The foot is?
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Really yeah, no, My so my daughter, we had to
buy her new shoes just because kids grow, you get
the concept. But she, uh, she you know, you see
the shoes and you're like, that's a big fucking shoe.
My daughter's foot is is what like two inches? And
then you measure and it's like, no, her foot is
like four and a half inches, and she's you know
(43:24):
what I mean, Like, I'm not close at all to
the correct size of what this body is doing. And
I'm probably not more generous with my own body or
more accurate with my own body.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Wait, this is now giving me an identity crisis because
I said, I said, I'm a twelve inch stick. But
I know it's twelve inches because they told me. But
can I rely on them If I don't tell, I
can't have all it. And we always know they had
an inch. Maybe it was only eleven.
Speaker 5 (43:51):
Yeah, no, I mean you should still.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Take I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Take.
Speaker 5 (43:58):
Wasn't the biggest dick you ever seen? For sure?
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Yeah it can be twelve. But but just know that
that person made you a liar and uh and you
gotta look at that on the inside. I live with
that guilt on the inside. But I'm gonna tell everybody,
yeah you vacation.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah, yeah, you're a Sandals Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
So so the last thing that I think is worth
mentioning in relation to the gay big penis of it all.
It does introduce, at least to me, the the the
possibility that that's another piece of information y'all should be
bringing as evidence that you were born this way, like
this is. You need to be laying that on the
(44:49):
table like look it is. Come on, if you don't
think I was born this way, show me a dick,
let me see. Damn.
Speaker 5 (44:57):
That would really that would really push the conversation forward.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
I think so if we had to, if it was
had along those because a bunch of cowardly straight men
are not going to pull their dicks out. We're we're
real scared of taking our ship out. But y'all, I'm
seeing what gay clubs look like. Y'all don't give out
in the clubs. Yeah, and on the street you go
to Francisco.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
I have been accidently walked through the fulsome street.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Fin you accidentally walked through the full.
Speaker 5 (45:29):
I's going to the brainwash. It's on seventh and Full.
So this doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
This matters.
Speaker 5 (45:36):
I was going to the.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Brainwash on seventh and Full some to tell jokes, it
was a weekly open mic shout out to Tony Sparks.
I didn't know the culture of San Francisco yet. It
was along the same time, you're like, oh, the street fair,
let me walk in, show my ID and see what's
going on.
Speaker 5 (45:51):
And then it was like.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
And then you're like, that's that's a hards prize.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I mean San Franciscans get they get naked all the time, though,
Beta Breakers pride always taking it out, Like if you
could take it out over there. I'm not saying I
can just fly up there and take it out, but yeah,
if there's like.
Speaker 5 (46:09):
Revelry going on, you could probably get away with ticket.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
And yeah, become one with the culture and then take
it out, don't just I was actually in San Francisco
three weeks ago and I was at in a bar
and we were like, it had like a patio, We're
sitting on the patio and then suddenly I saw it,
like a full on naked man walking across the street.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
I took a video because I'm so shocked. And then
he crossed the street and then two more naked men.
And this is at like one in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yeah, and I don't know where they were going, but
they were fully nude and no one was stopping them,
so it.
Speaker 5 (46:41):
Was like castro.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Yeah, so it's not that it So this is how
I've understood it because I remember this was a big deal.
It's not that it's not illegal. It's like, you know,
like in the Wire how they had the open air
drug market. It's like that for Dixon a Castro, like
you can nobody's going to prosecute you for like within
that neighborhood, you're allowed.
Speaker 5 (47:02):
To do that.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yeah, there's a rule in New York City that you
can't take it. For women, you can't take your top
off in public, but if you leave your house with
your shirt off, you could just be titties out all
day anywhere you want to be interesting. Yeah, so it
feels like one of those loophole type shits. Yeah, my
(47:23):
Dick's been out this whole time. So I left the
house like this, good luck coppers.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yeah, I'm a menister society if I get on the
street and take it out, but if I.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Come out with it, yeah you know what I was
on today.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
I just couldn't walk out nigga like that because I
feel like there would be a moment where I'm like,
I wish I had clothes on, you know, like there
would just be a moment in their day where you're like, ah,
I just I feel seen, And.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Yeah, I don't want to sit down naked on all
outside at all.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
I think it's probably fun as fuck when you're like
walking through a park, when you're like hanging out somewhere
whatever the fuck. But when you got to like go
to Walgreens and decide between like which which contact solution
to buy and you're just asked naggy, you probably feel
like an idiot, that's it exactly, or.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Like you're in there going to get some chips for
your super Bowl party, dick all on the do.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Do I want scoops or traditional?
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Yes, it is just resting on that shitty. Also, refrigerate
that sauce to your animals.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
That's the real takeaway. Yeah, neighbor, refrigerate yourself now, that
is the same faster. That's the original. That's the original faster.
From the beginning, he's like, he's like, you give some
dick back. Also refrigerate your son. Well, I think we
(48:51):
did a y'all. I think I think we nailed this.
Speaker 5 (48:53):
This.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
This feels like we we fucking covered the ship out
of it. Brandon, Could you tell the people at home
where they can find you and what cool shit you
have going on?
Speaker 1 (49:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (49:02):
For sure they can find me on Instagram at Brandon
called Goodman. That'll take it everywhere else, Uh, big mouth,
I don't have this drops a big Mouth Season six,
October twenty eighth. And also my book you gotta be
you available everywhere. Just support your local bookstores if you can.
Hell yeah, go go buy the book. Watch big Mouth.
Brandon's great and bore. You want to tell people everywhere
(49:23):
they can get to you a cool guy jokes eighty
seven on Instagram. I'll take you everything. I got some
stand up dates coming. I also say support your local bookstore.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
We don't don't let Walden in all these other big
book chains get your money.
Speaker 5 (49:39):
Shout out to the tattern.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Cover and Powels yells right, it's impressive.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Well, well, I'll say let's get Barnes and Noble back.
Baby about those local book stories. I want borders back
in business. Was the ship back in the day, the
little cities we we missed, big corporations that couldn't survive
on their own. Bail them out, bail them out. You
(50:07):
can follow me at Langston Herman on whatever platforms, and
as always, if you want to send us your own drops,
your own conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us
how big your penis is, please send it to Mymama
pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear
from you. Okay, that's it, by bitch, Why are you
coming five? Something's going on? Can I smell yo?
Speaker 1 (50:31):
Dig chips?
Speaker 5 (50:39):
And all Kuala bears are racists?
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Money turny stuff y'all can't tell me
I feel like if I had, if I was walking
around naked, I would have to have some weird kind
of except like not a belly chain per se. But
I feel like I would have to have I don't
think I could. I mean I could just be naked.
I'd have to have like a like a new hat or.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
I love the idea of you being fully naked except
for a thick Gucci bell you don't wear. You just
wear a gorgeous Gucci belle.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
I'm just going I don't think it would be like
I need some garnish on the plate, like I'm not
just gonna have to stay.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Doesn't chips in your kala bears are racist?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Money, She's tardy.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Stuff can't tell me?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Bang bang bang skeek skeek skeet. There it is, there
it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to another another phenomenal
episode of My Mama Told Me.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of
black conspiracy.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Theio, and we finally worked to prove that Tay Diggs
may be, in fact, the only man in history to
work his way back from the title of Oreo. They
were shaman te they were shaman ting, They told him
all he did was service the white devil.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
But look at him now.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I'm not gonna talk shit because T Diggs used to
follow me on Twitter.
Speaker 5 (01:47):
We're very close.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
T Diggs. They called him all the mean words you
can call a black man, and now look at him.
He's the funniest man on the internet. And he got
a bad bitch on his arm and sures you fuck
little Fizz. But that's none of our business.
Speaker 5 (02:04):
That doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
That ain't got nothing to do with nothing. Come on,
I'm and yes, and little Fizz is a cutie pie.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But he's like You're like, he's like that cute. Well,
he's never gonna look like a man. And I'm David forty. Yeah,
little Fizz is always gonna look like the coolest dude
in the eleventh grade.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
That's that's that makes sense to me. Yeah, he's got you. Yeah,
he's got big. When I graduate, I'm gonna do this
and yeah, yeah, like you.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Heard, he might go D two, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
He's probably going to a Juco and it's gonna get
sort of stuck in that transition.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
Yeah, then he just ends up working for Costco Corporate.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
But you know, he's got just a fine life for
Little Fizz, but it's not what he's dreamt of.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
No, did he think he was gonna live in Tulsa forever?
But that's how that's where it took.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
All right, we can't we can't talk Little Fizz forever.
I don't know how a conspiracy about Tay Diggs ended
up being a Little Fizz conversation, but that's the mastery
of this podcast. I'd say our guests today, I'm very
excited that they're here. Been a part of so much
cool shit, specifically Big Mouth on Netflix, very responsible for
(03:24):
all the great work over there, human resources also responsible.
Brilliant writer, thinker, talker, motherfucker give it up for our guests,
Brandan Kyle good Man. Ain't nobody got time for that. Yeah,
I'm just quicking go on. I like that intro that Yes, yeah,
(03:48):
hell yeah, How you doing? I'm good? How you doing?
We're chilling?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Any thoughts on Little Fizz and what he brings to
the table or Ty Diggs either either one really all
be two k that's the gay one. No, Little Fizz
is the maybe two straight one. He's he's the rapper,
the lights and rapper in the group.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Omar lady.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
He is now Diggs lover. God see I was. I
haven't kept up with my T Digs since. And that's
that's your fault. We're not that we didn't do that
to you. You had the chance, you know. I love
but I love it good Ta Digs. I saw him
on Headwick and The Angry Inch. That was the last
time I saw, which was he was.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Incredibly accomplished Broadway actor. Don't do that to come on
and then you can go to Broadway.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yes, and best Man is getting a TV series. Listen,
I'm a big fan. I'm saying the world had turned
on him. Uh not. Ain't nothing wrong with that? Well, well,
we we can't bullshit any longer. We we have a
(05:09):
wonderful conspiracy theory that you came to us today with.
And I will say this has been a conspiracy theory
that sort of has just been sitting there for a
while and nobody's touched it. Literally, no one has brought
it up now. It's not even one that we've I
think broached in any kind of way. And it's a
very simple one. You said, my mama told me black
(05:31):
men have big dicks.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
You want to ford the.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Pog Yeah, I love being here. This is great, it's great, chaotic,
whatever you want to call that, love it, We'll take it.
Tell me more, tell us more about this this black
man and their big their big penises.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I mean, I feel like everyone knows that as a
as a theory, that the ideas that black men have
like nine inch dicks or above.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
And then it is on the small side. Okay, you
know you have put a number on.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
So if you are under nine inches and you know
you're not black if you don't have a nine inch dick.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
It's really what I'm trying to say. I want to
I want to start some controversy here, but.
Speaker 5 (06:17):
I feel like, is it possible to be double black?
Then asking.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Ship David, well, it looks like I'm still half black.
All right, we got a double black and I have black.
I love it. Yeah, I mean you know that's the thing.
And then and then, as you know, I feel like
you hear that theory really young, like when people start
talking about dick's at like fourteen fifteen, you start hearing that,
and then you start measuring your dick to make sure
(06:45):
that you're actually full black.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
Yeah, and then you're like, do I go balls? Do
I do do I pin the balls back and go.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Yes, yeah, sure. There's a lot of strategies to make
up all.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
So if you were like me, you're a chubby kid,
you got a little bit you can push back.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
I call it the reserves.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Well, what do y'all think? Where do you measure from?
Do you measure from the balls? You measure from? Like
the where where would you measure your penis from?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I measured penetrable inches.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
WHOA, that's respectful. I like that answer. That's that's a
great answer. I will say that. And I don't mean
to jump jump the gun here, but in my research,
I actually read about the the technical way in which
researchers measure, and it's from the top where the pelvic
bones sort of starts above the penis that you're allowed
(07:36):
to measure. You're not allowed to Yeah, you're not allowed
to measure from the side nor underneath, because you're going
to gain to your point some some impenetrable inches and
or at least like a boost from the side and underneath.
We'll see. Now I'm having an identity Crisis's not going
to measure because you've been you've been cooking your books
(07:59):
for a while. Somebody's been juicing, you know what I mean?
Damn y'all, y'all blowing up my whole my whole sense
of self. Okay, great.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
I think this whole topic has needed to be broached
for a long time.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Though it's been it's been necessary. It's a lot of pressure. No,
like it feels like to live.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
Under this, as you know, Langston's to be very dark
skinned and live under this. It's like you gotta have waves,
and you gotta have a big old dick, damn, And
that's what you do. And you look great and gold
and green and yellow, yellow and yellow, and you look
at my old yellow.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Yeah, I don't know that. I I've what you're describing
does not feel like the anxiety that I necessarily had
to grow up under. And I acknowledge that you never
felt like you would never felt big dick anxiety. Oh No,
I had massive, big dick anxiety. I'm saying that none
of it felt like I was. It didn't feel like
I would be like laughed out of the building if
(09:15):
I didn't have the biggest dick. Do you know what
I'm saying? And what you're describing feels like it's not
just have a healthy sized penis, it's have a penis
worth talking about, and or you are less black than
you appear, yes, for sure, which is porn culture too, right.
I mean like a lot of us as young adults
(09:36):
would also as grown adults, yet our idea of what
sexism and.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
What body should look like from porn culture. I mean,
I think it's what women are currently in the state unpacking. Right,
like that the male.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Gaze has had an idea of what women look like
and look like during sex, and it's all from porn.
And so the same thing is true for ethnic groups.
It's like the idea of what an Asian man or
an Asian woman looks like, what a Black man looks like,
it's all from porn. It's all like fetish and not real.
I mean, those dicks are real, but like the pressure
that the entire community has.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Some of them, some of them, I don't know they
have been injected. Yes, yeah, Sometimes you're like, whoa, hey.
Speaker 5 (10:16):
Brother, it's new.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You can't I will say, I will say, there's every
and maybe y'all have experienced this. Every once in a while,
you bump into a porn where it's just a man
with a regular sized penis, and a part of me
is like, hell, yeah, let's go, let's go.
Speaker 6 (10:34):
Book Mark, look at him doing it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
He's just like, yes, yes, looks normal to me.
Speaker 5 (10:53):
No, that I think that this one though, this we
do all.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I don't think there's any black men who have never
come into situations where that was what it was expected.
Speaker 5 (11:05):
Right, we all live under this.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Umbrella, right, Yeah, No, I think I think this is
it's a it's a very universal pressure I think placed
on black men, especially about their penis size, in a
way that maybe you all have experienced this. White guys
can openly joke about their penis being inadequate or or
not big, and it sort of becomes like an easy
(11:28):
punchline that they don't ever have to run from.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
So they're always saying, yeah, that's the thing, I can't
dance like a little dog.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Just like that.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Well, I as a question, I grew up going to
a lot of pwi's predominantly white institutions, and so I
felt that pressure, especially about dick size. But we're either
of you around mostly like grew up in mostly black
high schools or black schools.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Was the pressure the same?
Speaker 1 (11:57):
No. I moved to the country when I was fourteen
year not the country of America. No, Like I move
to a rural area, yeah, no, Liker, rural area. Yeah,
when I was kind of you know, just off the
porch if you will.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
Yeah, that's all.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
That's all that is every and especially when you're a kid,
because you have no like yeah, the point is, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
That's all those little those little trollops wanted.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
M damn my high school. No, that was the correct
way to behave inside of this podcast, we don't apologize
to anybody for anything we do. I grew up in
a neighborhood that was weirdly like mixed, like not not.
(12:54):
It was probably predominantly white, but not in a way
that was like, oh ship, we're like one of few.
So we had like a nice mixture. And that meant
that I don't necessarily know that I felt any special
pressure from a white community versus a black community. It
kind of felt like just whoever you were trying to
(13:14):
fuck meant you didn't want that anxiety spreading, you know
what I mean, Like we all knew the same shit.
I just wonder if like he went to like a
southern black church, if like you felt the same pressure
that your dick had to be big or in the
Black Church, we like there was a grounding reality of like, nah,
like you know, dick's coming off side. Yeah, the preachers like,
(13:35):
hey five and a half, ain't that.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
As long as your money's green, you're good over here.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
As long as you tied that ten percent, We don't care, right, Hey,
one small ones wants to climb on rocks. Hey, God
took ten percent off me from the top. You know,
we'll get it back and you will get it back
and get it And that's that's what the Jehovah's witnesses
(14:04):
are talking about.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
That knock on doors, it's really a tax, faith tax.
They take a faith bax right off the tip.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Brother, do you believe or not? God's gonna give you
that dick back. God's gonna give me that dick bag. Yes,
you heard the good news.
Speaker 5 (14:34):
God is gonna give you the rest of you.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Don't give you that dick back. Okay. We we have
gone a while now and we haven't made much progress
in terms of understanding this conspiracy for yourself, Brandon, tell
me do you personally believe in this conspiracy? How much
(14:57):
or how much are you bought it? Well, so, the
thing that I like, I'm I'm I'm a homosexual. So
I gratulation research and I've done some data and yeah,
some dick research, some honatomy as we call it. So
what I fully know is uh that that is not
true that that black dicks come many sizes and there
(15:19):
some that are you know, really really quite large and some.
Speaker 5 (15:23):
That are.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Some that are very tiny. And to me, the biggest
thing that I have learned is it's how you use it.
You know, like which you hear motion in the ocean,
but you're like, nah, I still want to tenis this?
But as an adult at thirty five, I'm like, oh, yeah,
it really is more about how you use it. Because
there are people who have twelve inch sticks and are
it's a weapon, and.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
Yeah, what else would you do? You have to rob
the pharmacy with that?
Speaker 2 (15:53):
What are you just gonna You're just gonna pick up
your medication and buy candy corn. No, you're gonna hurt people.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
If you go so far as to say a twelve
inch stick is a burden. Yeah, it is someone with
an eleven and a half inch stick.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I can that's the way you want to stop? Yeah,
what did.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
If they say any more than two hundred and forty
thousand dollars a year and it doesn't feel any different.
That's the same with penis, Like.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
That's all you have to go to porn right because
like regular freak, I ain't trying to deal with that
every day.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
Freak you are. You are a fucking weirdo. You get
out of yere.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Shad with big dicks. That's good energy.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
I've been trying to do it for years. Because here's
what I'm saying. You don't have a twelve inch penis.
It might have been too big before.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
So extrapolate that by however, many twelve is.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Crazy, dog, that's crazy. Twelve twelve is a burden. I
don't think much. I don't think that that's even at
least in talking to too many of my female friends.
It never seems to be the desire, like it's a
desire to see it. I think we all want to
see the motherfucker, but nobody wants that inside of them.
I have had it, like we can do this. This
(17:16):
is really interesting. I've had a twelve inch dick inside
me once and whoa, Yeah, I'm a brag about that
because that you know, that took a lot of breathing,
a lot of douche, and a lot of praying and
it was great. But it's one of those things where
you're like, that's a that's a vacation dick. You know
what I'm saying. That's not like that. I want to
be with every I don't want to marry that dick.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
You know, I don't want to ride a roller coaster
after work on two No.
Speaker 3 (17:38):
No, Yeah, Yeah, that's that's like, which is why I
said twelve inch chick is a porn dick. That's like
that's something you're like, Oh, I'm an I'm gonna look
at that. I'm gonna see it one time, but I'm
not I'm not trying to. Yeah, you know how you
know how Kumel got buff.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And like uh and like then we found out how
he did it and it's like, oh, he hasn't had
an almond for like two years, and it's like that's
that's what that seems like, you know what I mean,
where it's like you gotta really be down to put
in the work every single day to experience that that
level of buughness and big dick.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You would have to be an event like you couldn't
just like lazy right before we go to bed seting.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
No no no no, or like wake up sext it.
You really get into the intestines at that point like
oh my scary, Like I'm so scary.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
That's when you're really beating guts because that you were
beating that never felt applicable to what I do.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
You are beating the fun out somebody's guts, so you
know you can't you can't surprise somebody with that. You
really have to plan that out, are you? Are you
at all afraid that at some point down the line,
your doctor's gonna sit you down and be like, Brandon,
we've got some bad news. Your guts are beat to
death from from that that twelve inches dick you to honor?
Speaker 3 (19:02):
I hope, I I want to bash for that. If
if that happens, like I feel like wow, thanks.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
There's there's no technical term for this, but but there's
bruises all over your guts from the beating. If it's
a gay doctor and they be like congratulations.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
If my ship was a foot long, every time I
completed with someone, I would put a notch in it
like a bed bone.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
All right, I think we did enough to earn a break.
We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more
Brandy Kaw good Man more. My mama told.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Me, welcome back to my mama told me the podcast
where we are today actually talk about dicks.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
The way that y'all are not acknowledging that drop. Damn,
it is crazy to me. You're just going into your
script like that.
Speaker 5 (20:12):
You know it was uh, you know, it's just it's
just one of them drops.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Oh my god, that was unhinged. I like it.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
But we are back, and yeah, we are talking about
two black men have big old hanging hogs.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Big old hanging hogs. Now, now, Brandon, you you've experienced
a big old black dick. You've had the twelve venture,
do you? And then this is a question, I guess
I've always wanted to ask, what is the preferred size?
Is there a preferred size? Where you're like that is
exactly correct. Yes, I'm glad you're asking this.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I'm like, it's funny because my publics is on here,
and I'm like, I wonder if they're like listening to
me talk about the dicks that I've taken and they're like, what,
how are we going to spend this.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I think I think you're spinning a chest, right, yeah, right,
and spin grand. This is the book. This is it.
We've got the follow up.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
One hundred and seventyix pages about me writing twelve inch sticks.
Nine inches to me is like perfect eighteen it's like
a perfect that's still pretty big for regular dicks.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, that's just still a pretty you know.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
I would say that I like a big dick, So
eight to nine is like the right, like if it's like,
oh it's big, and also like, uh, it's not too
much work for me personally. Not to brag, but that's
that's my that's my jam. Like eight to nine.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
I love that for you. That's good for you, that
that's that you even have that choice.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Yeah, like that you because we have no choice.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
I can't be like, oh, seven to fifteen centimeters, there's
no we don't get to talk about that. You don't
get to you just get to say, oh, you can
say is like it was great or I didn't like
it that much.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
I want to point out I want to point out that,
uh that ten centimeters is full dilation for a woman
in labor, So seven to fifteen, seven to fifteen for
a woman just walking around is maybe the loosest pussy
in all of history.
Speaker 5 (22:22):
Oh so now you're shaming people.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Okay, I don't know. It was that kind of fucking podcast.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
I apologize.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
You're out there and you're goose. I'm on your side.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I think tight lood.
Speaker 5 (22:38):
Yeah, it's it's like pizza, man, It's all pretty good.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah. I feel like I mean, like, have y'all had
amlesex Like penetrated name.
Speaker 5 (22:47):
In my butt?
Speaker 2 (22:48):
No? No, no, no, no, no I know not you're no. Yeah,
but like have you fucked somebody's ass?
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Yeah, it's it's too much of it to do for me.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Yeah, I don't. I don't care for it. It's it's
not it's not my jam.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
It's just a lot of it's just like a lot
of like I'm not that patient.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Got it, got it, got it? Yes, you do have
to be patient.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, but maybe I always wonder maybe had it has it?
Maybe if it was somebody who did it more often,
it would be like more of a get to it.
Speaker 5 (23:16):
But every time I've done it's really like a production.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
How long does it take?
Speaker 5 (23:19):
Usually?
Speaker 2 (23:21):
I'm so fascinated about this, Like.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
An extra couple of minutes of just like really though,
like heading and then a.
Speaker 5 (23:31):
Little bit.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
And then a little bit.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
More and started you know what, so it's like this,
It's like it's like a little bit and then used
to that, and then used to that this is great
for an audio medium.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Well, I think we can explain it, David was.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
Because my mom does listen to this.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I think I think this won't be the thing that
jumps her off board with This conversation.
Speaker 5 (24:03):
Is very open.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
So I've never I've never vagina, so when I fucking
asked whole that is generally how it works. Always yeah, yeah,
you're doing me wrong.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
It can be like that for a vagina though.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Okay, okay, yes, vaginas aren't always as blossomed as as
you would love them to be and or ready for
whatever is that ready feels like a bad word, feel wild,
I don't love. I didn't have to tune it tag
in on this. I could have just left the conversation
(24:42):
of the research started, all right. I did do some
research on this, Okay, Okay, No, what I'm saying is
sometimes vaginas are not as warmed up as they need
to be, and the US it takes longer to enter.
That is that the conversation. Are y'all part of the
(25:06):
warming up of the vagina? For sure?
Speaker 5 (25:09):
Oh? I eat everything on my plate.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh yeah, that's what'd be like to hear never, never, never,
not attempted to warm that thing up. I've failed a
few times. How long do you warm it up for you?
Speaker 5 (25:21):
Outside of time?
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Outside of time?
Speaker 5 (25:24):
I will. I grew up. I grew up with a
weird body. You gotta make up for it. I I
don't give a ship, bro, you can go for a
long long whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I never checked my watch. Now, whatever do you? Is that?
Speaker 5 (25:39):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (25:39):
I want to ask because I feel like so often
that is not how straight men respond to this question.
So like, was that something you learned from from your community,
from other Like how did y'all get so in tune
and sensitive to?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Like? No?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Oh, I gotta eat this for a while and take
care of it.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I think I'm just a person who's eager to please
in general. Yeah, I think it's I think it's a
personality trait looking for validation.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Probably I was about to say, I I similarly seek
affirmation in a way that is probably poisonous to but
also great for eating pussy. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's yeah, because I do know that's not the thing.
I know a lot of people who don't even do it,
which seems like, then you do you even like pussy? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:30):
No, anytime, anytime I've talked to a man who has
said some ship like that, be like, weird ass, nigga,
what's wrong with you? Come on, dog, that's it's dope
down there. Pussy. Oh, that's a that's a learn learn
on the fly for your boy.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
Yeah, the first time was probably bad.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
The first time is bad.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Well, now you get older and then you've yeah, you've
met a lot of women who have you know, slow
down or don't like this or whatever. So like it's
definitely time on task and like listening to partners. But
at the beginning, I was just go. I just was like, right,
have you ever seen the Tasmanian Devil? I was like,
if I could take an aspect of that incorporated into
(27:14):
my game.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
It's a weird thing. And I'm not sure if this
is true for for the gay community, but certainly in
the straight community it's a weird thing where we are
not often afforded the option to not know what we're doing,
and so you you kind of gotta you gotta show
up like your fucking Tom Cruise and Top Gun, even
if you're you're one of them other ones in Top
(27:40):
Gun that died. You know what I mean? Like you
gotta really be be ready to do whatever and not
not doubt yourself, right right, right right?
Speaker 5 (27:49):
Well wait, who taught you how to do you suck dick?
That's the first question?
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah, you to suck dick? Specifically, Yes, a friend of
mine named Michael. Damn, damn, that's nice, Michaels. It was
a white boy, Michaels know how to suck dick.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
We met my Yes, if you want to get topped
off or you need a cork, go see Michael. It
was like freshman year of college.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
He taught me which now people follow me called the
bkg y the Brandon yawn because it's all about yawning
so you can open up the back of your throat.
If you're a singer, you know this like opening your
your soft palad I think, so you can get more
of the dick in.
Speaker 5 (28:32):
I think the community service this should maybe be the clip.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Honestly, this was super informative and not in a way
that I can offer anything, but boy, do I feel
wiser than I I started today.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Yeah, if you if people have problems like gagging on dicks,
it's because you're you're blocking your throat, so you have
to yawn open.
Speaker 5 (28:51):
It's almost like that you're blocking your blessing.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
You're blocking say that to your name, but you're blocking
your bless it.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Open that throat. That's a different service than the one
we started pastor Okay, we can't deleyt dally anymore. We've
got to get into this research I did. I did
(29:18):
do a fair amount of research on this subject, and
there are surprisingly fewer studies about this conversation than one
would expect. Part of the issue I think is the
reporting and or the collecting of data. Right, how many
people essentially are willing to have their penises measured and
then documented for science? And then the alternative is if
(29:39):
they're not willing self reporting, which objectively seems like flawed science. Right,
you always want to add extra Come on, man, I can't.
I couldn't possibly tell a professional.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
I'm going here and with your eyes this happens.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
This person has a briefcase. God damn it, they're gonna
hear a little extra.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Yeah, you were you're a scientist. You went to college.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I'm I'm funny, I'm lying.
Speaker 5 (30:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
No. In fact, a study from the the Kinsey Institute
in nineteen eighty nine found that all of the participants
who initially claimed in EREC cock length of ten inches
on lengthon they did not say cock. And that's listen,
I am. I am one hundred percent telling you I
don't use cock personally as a descriptor ever. It's not
(30:36):
my thing. But this is the way that they awaited community. Like,
I think so right.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
I've always I always thought it was smut, Like it's
like people who were really into smut in general.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Oh, it's like it's like filthy people.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
Yeah, like when you hear somebody say like twat and you're.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Like, yeah, yeah, you a British, why are you talking
like that? Yeah? Good friend, Yeah gotcha. But they said
those who claimed in a wreck penis length of ten
inches or more turned out to have a considerably smaller length.
What is considerably smaller? One participant, thank you for asking that.
(31:12):
One participant even claimed to have an eleven inch dick,
but it turned out to actually be six and a
half inches. Found out you can't do six and a
half to eleven. Okay, you could do eleven twelve, but
that's double. Listen. Look, I've told people I can dunk before,
(31:37):
and I know I can't. I've been there, big dog,
I see your vision my mind. It's just crazy. You
really doubled it.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Nobody was gonna find out the dick study.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
He was like, Yeah, that's what's crazy. He really, he
really bugged the fuck out. But but the point is
that in general, it seems like lying on your own
dick is a tendency. Also not for nothing. And this
was me putting my conspiratorial head on. I think part
of the reason that there are fewer studies here is
because white scientists might be avoiding the study that that
(32:19):
largely largely would would prove their fears to be true.
Do you know what I mean? Like, it's one thing
to find out that your penis is smaller than another
person's penis. It's another thing to do actual science work
to find out that your penis is smaller than another
man's pain.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Now I have a theory. Go with me here.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I'm listening ultimately, because like you've done the research you said,
it's across the board.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
I think white.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Men actually have an easier time living under the fallacy
that they have smaller dicks, because then if you just
have normal.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
You're amazing, You're excited, you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 5 (32:58):
It's easier for them.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Once again, ship rolls downhill and we have to carry
the burden of this big.
Speaker 5 (33:06):
Fucking bark.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
Know nothing about that.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Come on down. That's true.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
If a white guy pulls out a nine inch dick,
you're like, oh my god, if okay, well that's what
I wanted to be.
Speaker 5 (33:19):
And they're both above average.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
They so they we have to be normal to be
that's we have to be twice as good as they do.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Damn Obama was right.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Come on, Dad said to him, we gotta be twice
twice as hard to get half the rewards, twice the
di and all your dudes online posting these big ass
two foot black dicks.
Speaker 5 (33:41):
You're not helping us.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah, you're you're hurting the community. Twitter. Please just said
it to the d M post everyone.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Normal dicks rise. We need a normal dick and porn
for black men.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Move. Come on, a little fizz. If you're listening and
using him while you got a normal dick, pull it out.
Let everybody see it, stand up, stand up for us.
Come on, now, that said, I did find a study
that supports there being some legitimacy. Brandon, this is actually
jetting a little bit against what you're saying. But there
(34:16):
seems to be some reporting that at least supports the
legitimacy of the claim that there is there are racial
designations in terms of size. A twenty thirteen paper published
in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, you know
that one that we all read. Researchers reviewed penis size
reported from one hundred and thirteen countries, and what they
(34:38):
found was that men of African descent tended to report
the longest penises, on average, around six point three three inches.
Speaker 5 (34:48):
I've heard, and this might be somebody would dreads told
me this, So.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
I'm not he said, grammarizing, and then and then what
did he say after that?
Speaker 5 (35:11):
I have heard that it's not a race thing.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
It is a climate thing because places with warmer climates,
the body, like the extremities are free to flow longer,
but in colder climates it ensureds you well to be constricted. Wow, yeah,
(35:36):
that's just what I've heard.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Now, now this would I think possibly disagree with that
where you know, black black men were coming in at
six point three three inches, while people of East Asian
descent were averaging around four point three one inches, and
most Europeans tended to fall somewhere near five point seventy
one inches in this study. Hmmm.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
And I've always wondered about the other side of the coin,
which is obviously Asian men. Ent Okay, here's the question, Brandon,
because I haven't done the research on this.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Have you seen a huge Asian one?
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (36:14):
Huge? See there we go, all.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Right, Yeah, that's why I'm like, yeah, that's why.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
That's why I said, like even there, there might be
something to the studies of like like majority of black
people have bigger dicks, but it's not across the board,
and I think that's what anyways, Like, I mean, I've
seen some white guys with like massive dicks.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You're just like, how.
Speaker 3 (36:40):
The same with whenever you see a white person with
like a fat ass, You're like, oh my god, like
how did you that?
Speaker 2 (36:45):
It's you know, it's not it's not a one to one,
it's not a complete rule. Yeah, it's like saying a
nor wall, what's that.
Speaker 5 (36:54):
With the horn on it?
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, that's that whale with the horn. It's like, as
soon as I said it, I felt like either this
is gonna kill or these niggas don't know normal.
Speaker 5 (37:06):
But it's like real, it's not like a mythical.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
No, it's not mythical at all. I though we're talking
about the one from ELF. No, that's the same thing,
but that is a real And yeah, oh I know that.
See we all learned something today. Yeah, look at that.
Speaker 5 (37:22):
Now.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
It's worth noting that the information that I told you
is from a self report, right, That obviously makes the
information a little rocky. But part of what they argue
with this is that a different research study published in
the and I can't believe this is a real place,
the International Journal of Impotence Research, in which the measurements
(37:43):
were performed by trained researchers. This wasn't a self report.
These were researchers measuring penises. And this study, which was
taken in Brazil, involved six hundred and twenty seven men
ages eighteen to eighty six, and they found that black
participants had an average penis size of about six and
a half inches, while white participants had an average penis
(38:04):
size at about six point two two inches. So just
shy of the black penises. Interesting.
Speaker 5 (38:12):
I don't know what to make of that, because Brazilian
it's all crazy down there.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
And that's part of what they say with the shit,
is that like, while this does sort of affirm the
original shit, it also is specifically in Brazil, they're also
only factoring for white and black people, and they they
aren't considering any of the other races. And if it's
all in Brazil, maybe Brazil they just got big old dicks,
(38:36):
and they do in other places.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And they're super racially mixed, right, that's why they're so beautiful, right,
because it's.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Yeah, it's not as clearly I think defined in terms
of black and white the way that our shit is. Right, Yeah, Brandy,
you you had a I think an important question here.
I was wondering, like, where where did the kind of
obsession with or the importance and dick size come from?
I mean maybe.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
I think it's the white men. You don't see a
lot of black cook holds, is what I'm saying. Yet yet, fair, fair,
that's true, that's true equality when we start being into holding.
Oh yeah, and then there's like a video for white guys,
it's like breeder.
Speaker 2 (39:27):
I do think I do think to some extent, and
this feels like the easy answer, but I think it's
very true. It's patriarchal, right, that like, it's a form
of us creating power and or reducing power from another
individual as a way of essentially, you know, being able
to own more property in people and stuff. It's not
(39:50):
it's not without its own weaponized intension. Yeah, yeah, I
mean I think that that is the smart, real answer.
Speaker 5 (39:57):
I'm going.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Color comments, Harry.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Baby.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
One of the things that I actually stumbled upon in
this that I did not expect to find was information
about the differences between gay and straight dicks.
Speaker 5 (40:24):
That's a that ended.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Up somehow becoming part of the research that I bumped into,
and in fact, in nineteen ninety nine, researchers in the
US found that gay men are likely to have an
average dick size of six point three two inches when erect,
compared to five point nine to nine inches in straight man. Likewise,
gay men were found to have penises at the average
(40:47):
zero point one five inches larger in circumference. WHOA damn. Yeah,
so y'all that mean good for you, Brandon, that's baby,
you know, so this is great for me.
Speaker 5 (41:01):
I can't even understand.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Yeah, what's the demographic of the gate Like, do they
like they oh my god, like are there is it
a melting pot of different ethnic backgrounds of these gays
or it's just like these are some some gays over
here and some Hey, dog, the research happened in nineteen
ninety nine. You know, damn well, this wasn't a warm
melting pot of anything. This is right. This is six
(41:23):
white dudes that they pulled off the street.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
That's still that that that raises all kinds of questions,
because then maybe you're your research is a little off
because you've been out here in the valley of the
huge dicks. These poor straight ladies. They're over man, fuck
they're over here, fucking play with these little.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Ones, right, they're over here, fucking five eight you know
what I mean? You know, five eight claiming five to
eleven and just like nah nah nah nah.
Speaker 1 (41:54):
I also have wanted to say this as soon as
I found out that we were doing this. I think
there goes to a level of people not having good
sense of spatial relation. I think that's what throws this
all off. I think understanding the size of things and
being able to eyeball the size of something without without
a ruler is a skill that I don't think that
(42:17):
most people have. Like I've done construction work before, so
that's the only reason that I feel like I can
even eyeball something. But I just I've met too many
people I've met this, I guess more women than men,
where they're like, he has a six foot penis and
you're like, how's all am I?
Speaker 5 (42:34):
And she's like seven.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Four And I'm like, okay, so you don't.
Speaker 5 (42:38):
Even know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Like I feel like that that has because we all
converted into inches, But what is six inches off the
top of.
Speaker 5 (42:46):
Your head, do you know? Like? And I don't think
that is that common.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Of a skill exactly exactly, So we all have this,
Like so many people have this thing, specifically with dicks.
I've heard so many people swear to God how big
this dick is or thistick, but it's like, you don't
know how long.
Speaker 5 (43:01):
The foot is?
Speaker 2 (43:02):
Really yeah, no, My so my daughter, we had to
buy her new shoes just because kids grow, you get
the concept. But she, uh, she you know, you see
the shoes and you're like, that's a big fucking shoe.
My daughter's foot is is what like two inches? And
then you measure and it's like, no, her foot is
like four and a half inches, and she's you know
(43:24):
what I mean, Like, I'm not close at all to
the correct size of what this body is doing. And
I'm probably not more generous with my own body or
more accurate with my own body.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Wait, this is now giving me an identity crisis because
I said, I said, I'm a twelve inch stick. But
I know it's twelve inches because they told me. But
can I rely on them If I don't tell, I
can't have all it. And we always know they had
an inch. Maybe it was only eleven.
Speaker 5 (43:51):
Yeah, no, I mean you should still.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Take I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
Take.
Speaker 5 (43:58):
Wasn't the biggest dick you ever seen? For sure?
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Yeah it can be twelve. But but just know that
that person made you a liar and uh and you
gotta look at that on the inside. I live with
that guilt on the inside. But I'm gonna tell everybody,
yeah you vacation.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah, yeah, you're a Sandals Jamaica.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
So so the last thing that I think is worth
mentioning in relation to the gay big penis of it all.
It does introduce, at least to me, the the the
possibility that that's another piece of information y'all should be
bringing as evidence that you were born this way, like
this is. You need to be laying that on the
(44:49):
table like look it is. Come on, if you don't
think I was born this way, show me a dick,
let me see. Damn.
Speaker 5 (44:57):
That would really that would really push the conversation forward.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
I think so if we had to, if it was
had along those because a bunch of cowardly straight men
are not going to pull their dicks out. We're we're
real scared of taking our ship out. But y'all, I'm
seeing what gay clubs look like. Y'all don't give out
in the clubs. Yeah, and on the street you go
to Francisco.
Speaker 5 (45:20):
I have been accidently walked through the fulsome street.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
Fin you accidentally walked through the full.
Speaker 5 (45:29):
I's going to the brainwash. It's on seventh and Full.
So this doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
This matters.
Speaker 5 (45:36):
I was going to the.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Brainwash on seventh and Full some to tell jokes, it
was a weekly open mic shout out to Tony Sparks.
I didn't know the culture of San Francisco yet. It
was along the same time, you're like, oh, the street fair,
let me walk in, show my ID and see what's
going on.
Speaker 5 (45:51):
And then it was like.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
And then you're like, that's that's a hards prize.
Speaker 1 (45:55):
I mean San Franciscans get they get naked all the time, though,
Beta Breakers pride always taking it out, Like if you
could take it out over there. I'm not saying I
can just fly up there and take it out, but yeah,
if there's like.
Speaker 5 (46:09):
Revelry going on, you could probably get away with ticket.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
And yeah, become one with the culture and then take
it out, don't just I was actually in San Francisco
three weeks ago and I was at in a bar
and we were like, it had like a patio, We're
sitting on the patio and then suddenly I saw it,
like a full on naked man walking across the street.
Speaker 3 (46:26):
I took a video because I'm so shocked. And then
he crossed the street and then two more naked men.
And this is at like one in the afternoon.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
Yeah, and I don't know where they were going, but
they were fully nude and no one was stopping them,
so it.
Speaker 5 (46:41):
Was like castro.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Yeah, so it's not that it So this is how
I've understood it because I remember this was a big deal.
It's not that it's not illegal. It's like, you know,
like in the Wire how they had the open air
drug market. It's like that for Dixon a Castro, like
you can nobody's going to prosecute you for like within
that neighborhood, you're allowed.
Speaker 5 (47:02):
To do that.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
Yeah, there's a rule in New York City that you
can't take it. For women, you can't take your top
off in public, but if you leave your house with
your shirt off, you could just be titties out all
day anywhere you want to be interesting. Yeah, so it
feels like one of those loophole type shits. Yeah, my
(47:23):
Dick's been out this whole time. So I left the
house like this, good luck coppers.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Yeah, I'm a menister society if I get on the
street and take it out, but if I.
Speaker 2 (47:31):
Come out with it, yeah you know what I was
on today.
Speaker 3 (47:37):
I just couldn't walk out nigga like that because I
feel like there would be a moment where I'm like,
I wish I had clothes on, you know, like there
would just be a moment in their day where you're like, ah,
I just I feel seen, And.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Yeah, I don't want to sit down naked on all
outside at all.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
I think it's probably fun as fuck when you're like
walking through a park, when you're like hanging out somewhere
whatever the fuck. But when you got to like go
to Walgreens and decide between like which which contact solution
to buy and you're just asked naggy, you probably feel
like an idiot, that's it exactly, or.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Like you're in there going to get some chips for
your super Bowl party, dick all on the do.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
Do I want scoops or traditional?
Speaker 1 (48:19):
Yes, it is just resting on that shitty. Also, refrigerate
that sauce to your animals.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
That's the real takeaway. Yeah, neighbor, refrigerate yourself now, that
is the same faster. That's the original. That's the original faster.
From the beginning, he's like, he's like, you give some
dick back. Also refrigerate your son. Well, I think we
(48:51):
did a y'all. I think I think we nailed this.
Speaker 5 (48:53):
This.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
This feels like we we fucking covered the ship out
of it. Brandon, Could you tell the people at home
where they can find you and what cool shit you
have going on?
Speaker 1 (49:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (49:02):
For sure they can find me on Instagram at Brandon
called Goodman. That'll take it everywhere else, Uh, big mouth,
I don't have this drops a big Mouth Season six,
October twenty eighth. And also my book you gotta be
you available everywhere. Just support your local bookstores if you can.
Hell yeah, go go buy the book. Watch big Mouth.
Brandon's great and bore. You want to tell people everywhere
(49:23):
they can get to you a cool guy jokes eighty
seven on Instagram. I'll take you everything. I got some
stand up dates coming. I also say support your local bookstore.
Speaker 1 (49:33):
We don't don't let Walden in all these other big
book chains get your money.
Speaker 5 (49:39):
Shout out to the tattern.
Speaker 1 (49:40):
Cover and Powels yells right, it's impressive.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Well, well, I'll say let's get Barnes and Noble back.
Baby about those local book stories. I want borders back
in business. Was the ship back in the day, the
little cities we we missed, big corporations that couldn't survive
on their own. Bail them out, bail them out. You
(50:07):
can follow me at Langston Herman on whatever platforms, and
as always, if you want to send us your own drops,
your own conspiracy theories. If you want to tell us
how big your penis is, please send it to Mymama
pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear
from you. Okay, that's it, by bitch, Why are you
coming five? Something's going on? Can I smell yo?
Speaker 1 (50:31):
Dig chips?
Speaker 5 (50:39):
And all Kuala bears are racists?
Speaker 2 (50:48):
Money turny stuff y'all can't tell me
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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