March 1, 2022 • 60 mins
Check out the re-release of My Momma Told Me with special guest Ayo Edebiri! Please rate and review the podcast here and bye, b*tch!
Is there such a thing as a Black Illuminati? Langston and his guest David Gborie (The Half Hour on Comedy Central) uncloak the truth on the secret organization and its members. Spoiler alert: Gary Owen didn't make the cut.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Is the want for them to actually be helping the
world and black people, or is the want to just
control and subsequently get rich from their control. I think
it's control and get rich. But sometimes that has to
do with black people prospering. I think sometimes it does.
You're saying, I think it's more about power than it
is about impil right, So at the cost of people,
(00:23):
they will continue to get rich. But that doesn't mean
that their sole intention every day is the like murder
a child. No, not at all. But if it lines
up that way, that's why you can't funk with me.
I'll shoot the ship out that baby. Yeah exactly. I
don't give a ship. I got three cars, but that
baby baby. I got cards, but that baby ships racist
(01:03):
money can't tell me. Yeah fuck yeah. Welcome, ladies and
gentlemen to another another exceptional episode of My Mama Told Me,
(01:23):
the podcast where we dive deep, deep, so deep, put
your ass to sleep. We dive deep into the world
of black conspiracy theories, and we make it our mission
to prove that Jesus also wants Chris Tucker to start
cursing again. Say nigga, nigga, we need you. We miss
the Chris Tucker, you word, let those demons go. Michael
(01:45):
Jackson is dead, Jeffrey Epstein is dead. No one else
can tell your secrets. Just say nigga, we miss you,
Chris Tucker. Oh boy, we have a phenomenal episode today.
I'm your host, Langston Kerman as always, and I'm very,
very excited. I'm doing well. I have a bit of
a tummy ache, but I'm not gonna let that deter me.
I've been eating a fair amount of walnuts. My wife
(02:09):
and I were trying to have a child together, and
apparently walnuts helped me become more potent. That's that's supposed
to help with my potency, which is not something I
enjoy saying out loud, nor do I expect that you
enjoy hearing it. But I gotta make my sperm strong,
so I'm mean a lot of walnuts. My guest today,
I imagine he has very strong sperm. I don't doubt
(02:31):
his sperm for a second. Seems like a man with
a thick load, if you ask me, just a proud load.
I don't know if we can still say that about
other people in today's Hollywood, but we'll find out once
he gets on the microphone. He's so funny. Uh, just
fucking the funniest. He has a Comedy Central half hour
that I love so much, one of the best I've
(02:53):
seen in years. He has an amazing podcast called All
Fantasy Everything. He is literally the voice of Comedy Central
after they throw the commercials for those Charman Bears. He
is the one that brings you back. Give it up
from my guests. So hilarious, David boy. Everybody they were worried,
(03:14):
what's up, big dog? Just you know, proud, thick load heritage,
just like the heritage. Yeah, just that goes back to Africa.
Really sure the Bories are known for their heavy, thick load. Yeah,
they can't read, but man, you don't need to read
(03:37):
when you need to read with a load like this
spider Man webs everywhere. There's four million of us. Who
needs to read. We're a fucking soccer team. I love that. Yeah,
I love to hear it. It just gives me. It
gives me comfort to know that's what you're working with.
I didn't know that about walnuts. I eat walnuts. Yeah,
they're apparently they're good for you. There's other stuff that's
(03:59):
good for you, and then there's like stuff that feels
fairly obvious, like don't put your laptop in your lap
because you're exposing yourself to radiation, or don't keep your
your phone in your pocket because five G is gonna
give your dick coronavirus. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
for sure, for sure, just the standard rules. I don't
(04:19):
really know what five G is, if we're going to
be completely honest, I don't think anybody does, which is why,
which is why somehow we thought it gave us a cough. Yo,
I think my phone has four G, is what I think?
Oh nice, No, I don't know. It's no, it's terrible.
I have a metro phone. I got you. The technology
(04:41):
hasn't matched the service that you're getting. If you have Metro,
you can't get Corona. That's a fact science. Yeah, you
tell your listeners. I didn't even do that. That's you
think metro PCs. Sure that's gonna be in their commercials
pretty soon. Oh yeah, that that in thick You want
(05:02):
a thick load and never get coronavirus, then you need
metro PCs. You also want a BlackBerry for some reason.
If you want a phone that flips open still have
weekend minutes. You want to wait till after seven pm
to call your friends because that's when it's free. Then
(05:25):
you need metro PCs. It don't work in Canada. I
do love that they throw that in where like, oh,
by the way, in case you were about to travel,
you poor idiot. You can't use this in Canada. You
know what, though, I bet you it works in the
d R m HM for sure. One do you know why?
(05:48):
Because the Dominican man sold you that phone, and so
he did whatever he needed to do to make sure
that this service was going to make its way to
the Dominican Republic. I mean should be told I have
a Dominican number just for tax purposes. Anyways? Oh is
that is that actually true? No? No, God Jesus Christ,
because I was gonna say, please don't say it on
(06:09):
the podcast this. I know we talked about conspiracy theories,
but I'm I can't protect you from anything. I no, no, no,
my numbers, my numbers USA. Hell yeah, I know you
guys can't hear it at home. But David just winked
at me in one of that that had nothing to
do with this thick load. I think he was mostly
(06:31):
focused on his secret phone number from the Dominican Republic.
No big deal, No big deal. This is uh. I'm
so happy you're here. We're gonna have a great time.
This is actually a really fun, uh subject you brought
to us. We talked a little bit briefly before this
about what conspiracy theory you most bought into and the
(06:53):
one that you immediately came back with, which I think
is so interesting. You said, my mama told me there
is a black illuminati. Bro, tell me more. I'm excited.
So I can remember specifically the first time I heard
(07:13):
about it. I was living in San Francisco and I
was at the Ace of Fades barbershop on Geneva and
they were playing this YouTube video and it was about
how Prince knew that nine eleven happened. Oh shit, Prince
knew that it happened, or now it was gonna come
he p. Yeah. I love the idea that Prince is
(07:37):
just walking around like a king because he knew it happened. Yeah,
I think have you heard of September eleventh? Open your mind?
It was that he predicted it, and it was like
a YouTube video and it's like, do you ever see
(07:57):
those videos where it's like the same announcer who talks
like this, Yes, it was that, and they were like,
this is an audio recording of prints four days before
night eleven. And then it was just somebody going bush
knocked down the towers, bush knocked down the towers. And
then yeah, and then my barber, who was a Filipino
(08:19):
dude flagrantly using saying nigga, I don't know the rules. Yeah,
well everybody else everybody else was cool. I don't I
find in the in the northeast or excuse me, the
northwest of this country. Nobody knows the rules. You guys
don't have clear definitions on the N word, whereas I'm
from the Midwest and like we have very stark lines,
(08:40):
and you guys are like, I don't know, he looks
like he's from Taiwan. Go ahead, say a good thing, man.
I don't sixty percent of the Filipinos I know, I
don't know rules like there. But anyways, they played this,
and then the rest of my haircut was just everybody
arguing about whether or not that was actually Prince. Okay,
(09:05):
that was That's what I was gonna ask you, did
you feel like it was actually Prince in the recording
that's fucked up. It sounded like Prince Man. I don't know,
like I haven't heard him talk that much other than singing, right,
but to me it sounded like Prince And then ever
since then, I'm like, I don't even know if I
believe in the Black Illuminati, but I want it to
(09:25):
be real, real, bad, right you why can't we have
our own we could run ship. Oh you really just
wanted to be to be there because you believe in
black people. This is like, yeah, this is black empowerment.
This isn't any type of like No, I just think
we could do it well as well. That makes sense.
I think we should dig a little bit into just
(09:51):
a general understanding of what the Illuminati is. Maybe that'll
that'll lay a groundwork for this conversation. For any of
our listeners who feel like they somehow don't know what
the Illuminati is, I guess they've never been an old
spaghetti factory. Then sure, Wait, the spaghetti factory has a
clear connection to the deep state. Look it up, bro,
(10:12):
a new world order, talk to me about these things.
What when you say illuminati, what exactly do you mean
a small group of people who are running the bigger things.
So all political policy you see an acted, there's no left,
there's no right, there's only the illuminati. Right. Sure, all
(10:33):
social trends that you see happening the illuminatis. It's just
like the idea that the entire world is run by
a small group of people. Right. So in theory, when
I decide to start wearing skinny Janes because I am
seeing a trend out in the world, I'm thinking that
this is like an independent choice that I'm making. And
instead you're saying that this was dictated by a group
(10:54):
of people who said, no skinny Janes will be in fashion,
and they secretly have some motive that they are trying
to cut off circulation in legs, thus forcing a community
to struggle because of their commitment to little pants. Exactly,
it's not because you think it looks fresh. It's because
Virgil and then I guess, Oprah, I don't know who
(11:17):
all makes the cut. Those people want it that they
sat down and they said we need them to look
ridiculous in little pants. And I also, in my opinion,
I think there may be some people who aren't black
in the black illuminati. Go on. I think Bill Clinton
could be in the Black Illuminati. Pause right there, I listen.
(11:38):
I'm happy to hear this, and and I'm very excited.
Tell me why Bill Clinton might be in the black Illuminati.
I don't think they let him in the white one.
Mm hmm, thig number one. He plays the saxophone. Nobody
in the white Illuminati plays a jazz based instrument that
you can look that up. That's not me. That's not
(11:59):
just talking sulking reads than they don't have the breath
control for it. They don't White Illuminati like. So, yeah,
I think Bill Clinton he's just real nigorous, just like
in his dealings in general, he was hose like a lot. Yeah.
(12:23):
Here's the thing with Bill Clinton, because for years the
black community called him like the first black president, right,
he was simultaneously putting more black men in jail than
than most presidents ever have, and so it became this
weird dance of him being like, somehow the most down
president while also the one that hated us the most
(12:44):
because it be your own people, right, Okay, Yeah, okay,
I see what you're getting at. You see what I'm saying.
What you're saying, I'm not saying it's a good thing.
I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm just saying
that's where he's at. Right. So Bill Clinton's potentially in
the Black Illuminati, Yeah, for sure, for sure. Who else
(13:07):
I think Bruce Lee was? Probably he dipped in because
people love karate. Yeah, that's that's the only reason. Ye Okay,
And they were just he was so good at at
his martial arts that they were like, Bruce Lee, you're in. Yeah,
Jim Kelly didn't want to do it, so right, you
(13:28):
need a weapon sky. It's like the Illuminati is much
like a bank heist or something. You need a fully
rounded team. I see what I'm saying, Like, you need
different expertise, right, it can't just be a room full
of entertainers. No, no, no, no, you need like you
need like a weapons guy. You need you need like
a tech nerd. You know, somebody who can do the
(13:50):
flip off the top shelf. And then the tiny Chinese man. Yeah,
you guys all know the tiny Chinese man we're talking about? Yeah,
from Ocean, Yeah and twelve and thirteen. He made it
in all three. It's a whole series. That guy. He's
living good, I hope. So I really liked he honestly,
(14:11):
and it's hard to you can never it's it only
feels racist to tell people. But he was my favorite character.
But I also never knew his name really, so it
was like a weird thing of being like, I like
the Chinese one, Like, all right, who is that? I
don't know his name? I like the Chinese Like, it's
not like you didn't like the Chinese one. That's the racist.
That is the racist part. I could have taken the time,
(14:33):
I guess, to learn what's behind the tiny and the
Chinese if that makes sense. No, what are the other
people's names in that movie? What are the other character's names? Uh,
Brad Pitt, Yeah, exactly, Bernie Mack pretty good. You don't
know any of those character names? Sure, that's fair. That's
I know, Danny Ocean, that's it, and then the rest
(14:56):
of them are See that's fun. I thought it was
Billy Ocean, Billy Ocean, different guy. Similar contributions to American
uh you know culture, but yeah, Caribbean queen right. Okay,
So so besides Bill Clinton and Bruce Lee, potentially you
said John b also is a potential contributor to the
(15:18):
Black Illuminati. I guess one of the questions I have
are the things that really popped in my head is
if white people in Chinese people are part of this
black illuminati, what is their contribution to this? Why would
I want Bill Clinton in my black illuminati. I think
it's one of those things where it's just like they
generally accept that culture, maybe more than their own. Like
(15:41):
they're they're invested in the black cloture. It's like like
Gary Owen, where does you may call this money? Right?
You know what I'm saying, It's like the same type
of thing. Yes, it's people who have already they were
already with black people anyways. Sure so even by your
argument right that, uh, if this is about the control
all of the black community and and our choices, then
(16:03):
the people at the highest levels of our entertainment, of
our social progress, whatever, would ultimately have their say in
what's happening. Thus a Bill Clinton and Guarry Owen of Bruce.
I didn't say, you're saying Gary is not in the
black Yeah, I'm saying that time, okayte that down. If
(16:31):
I could just pause for a second for my listeners
at home. David wants to be as clear as possible
that Garry Owen did not make the cut of the
Black Illuminati. I assume he wants to be in the
Black Lawn, wants to of course, he wants to be
in the Black Illuminati piece of ship. But you are
not welcome in our in our Black Illuminati, you ask whole,
(16:52):
Gary Owen, No, sir, this is fascinating. What do you
think specific thickly differentiates the Black Illuminati from other Illuminati counterparts,
because by your suggestion, I would assume that there are
also now Latin next uh Illuminatis, and I think so
(17:14):
the probably a Vietnamese Illuminati. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think
it's I think it's cultural. Are they moving completely different?
Are they just focusing on their people? What's the goals here?
I think about it like a u N situation where
it's like every Illuminati has their own delegate that they
(17:35):
send to the main Illuminati meeting. Right. Oh, but it's
like it's like summer stronger than others, you know what
I mean, Like, Okay, Chile is in the u N.
But they're not like at the meeting swinging dick. They
kind of sit on the side and mind their business
right right, right, right, like like any any power situation.
(17:57):
So I think it's like that, like there are other Illuminatis,
but like they're not as powerful, got you, So in
this case, I'd have to assume, and it breaks my
heart to stay at the Black Illuminati is not They're
not swinging dick quite as much as we would like.
Well okay, not as much as we would like, but
(18:18):
I think pretty huge, right, just for the fact that
American pop culture kind of dictates the world where we
are a major part of that. So it's like we
do too much to not have a place there, I
got you. It's not maybe what we would want. It's
almost like a North Korea vibe where it's like, I
mean you said it, no, no, no, come along with me. Okay, okay,
(18:44):
I got not listening and I'm in the house. I
got nothing to do today. No, though we we are
by your suggestion, and this is not my work, this
is your work, David, by your suggestion. What what we're
saying is is that the act Illuminati at these meetings,
although not necessarily the power that we want to be,
(19:05):
has to be taken seriously at all times, much like
a North Korea in the world. Not to say that
we are evil, not to suggest that we are somehow,
you know, connected with dictatorship, but certainly just something to
be feared if nothing else. No, I think that we
have a bigger see at the table than just like
(19:25):
a wild outlier. Got you, you say what I'm saying like,
I don't think it's like I don't think we're like
do this or we'll bomb you. I think we're in
part on decisions and stuff like that. I got you.
You know what I'm saying Like, I don't think it's
like we're not just like a crazy like we got
W M D S or whatever. Like, I think we're
an active part of the conversation. I like that. That's
what i'd hope. I'm sorry I compared black people to
(19:48):
North Korea. Don't be sorry, Listen. Li's the writer's room.
It's the writer's room that we're gonna project across the world.
There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, there's nothing wrong. Listen.
We're not the first people to equate black people in
North Korea. We won't be the last. Boy, Do I
hope that's true in either direction? Do I hope that's true. Well,
(20:08):
we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be back
here with more. My mama told me, and we are that. Yeah,
(20:29):
we're back here with more, my mama told me, And
I am still here with David Boi, hilarious, hilarious comedian
who was telling me more and more about the deep, deep,
deep conspiracies conspiracy rather of the Black Illuminati and all
of its comings and goings in the world and the
(20:50):
damage it's doing or help it's doing. I don't know
with black people, do you think they help people? I
think it's neutral to be you know what I mean.
I think it's like like any government or anything like that.
I think some things are very positive. I think that
some things are very negative. I don't think it would
be fair to say that they're ultimately helping people, because look,
(21:14):
via the prison system or whatever, we're still in bondage, right,
So it's like they're not like killing you, you know
what I mean, They're not killing it. Yeah. I don't
think they're doing great period. I don't even think they're
necessarily doing a good job. I think maybe better than
they were. Okay, So we talked about this, but I
did some deep diving. I did some research on the
(21:35):
conversation of the Illuminati and specifically the Black Illuminati, and
I want to share some of the things that I've
I've dug up and hopefully you have some answers, because, honestly,
more so than any other episode that I've had thus far,
this one left me with more questions than real answer.
That's what I'm saying. It's deep, It's deep. It's very deep.
(21:56):
I did hours of research, and I mostly came up
tie aired and uh a little frustrated with the information
I was pulling. So I personally didn't know. Let's start here,
I personally didn't know that the Illuminati is a real thing.
Do you know what I mean that? Like, okay, okay, okay, wait,
(22:18):
don't tell. The point is, I had no idea that
the Illuminati was real. I I thought that this was
just sort of like a fantasy thing that people had
made up over years and years of like spreading rumors, whatever.
(22:39):
But the Illuminati was actually a real organization that was
created in seventeen seventy six, the exact time of the
birth of the America that we know. So seventeen seventy six,
this dude, Adam West Shopped, a German lawyer who believed
strongly in enlightenment and ideals, specifically created the Illuminati to
(23:02):
promote these principles of like enlightenment among elites people he
had deemed elites in society. Is that not what I've
been saying it is, it's what you've been saying. And
but even scarier part the Illuminati as we know it,
as the organization that was technically on record, only lasted
(23:23):
ten years. Five The Bavarian government shuts it down because
they basically say, we deem all secret societies completely illegal.
You are no longer allowed to illuminate or enlighten. You
must shut this ship down. And they basically claim from
that point forward that the Illuminati no longer exists, that
(23:43):
it is yes, and not just the government. Everyone around
them is saying, like, oh, the Illuminati. It's as if
the police showed up and we're like shut the party
down and then everybody went home. Do you have any
stats on member ship before that happened? Great question. I
was digging into the membership, which apparently, as it was
(24:06):
originally created, it started with like six to nine dudes.
They were mostly basing all everything that they did off of, Uh,
what are those guys? The Freemasons. So they wanted it
strictly guys. They wanted to be like elite dudes in
the world who were free thinkers, and UH particularly were
(24:26):
opposed to UH like sort of living in the past
and following like tradition and more interested in infiltrating organizations
for control, so like the infiltration of politics so that
they can then you know, decide how votes are are
made and shipped like that. And did they study politicians.
(24:48):
I don't it. So that's the part that gets messy, right,
because they start with six to nine dudes, but then
they intentionally target the Freemasons, which is already an organization
by this point, and they start pulling their members. They'll
like show up to Freemason meetings pretending to be Freemasons
and then trick those Freemasons into joining the Illuminati and
(25:08):
coming back and becoming Illuminati members. And so there's all
this speculation about by the end, in that ten years,
it moved somewhere from six to nine dudes to six
hundred to undred people, but still very vague on numbers,
very vague on numbers, but they've accumulated exponentially more people
(25:29):
than they had when they started. And then last question
that I have for the origins, so the Freemasons operated
in Germany or they went out to the world and
did that. I think the Freemasons were all over because
a lot of our like UH founding fathers are connected
to the Freemasons. A lot of like big historical figures
(25:49):
and spaces are connected to the Freemasons. I think the
Illuminati specifically started UH in Bavaria and then moved other
places in theory, so what we have is possibly an
international network of possibly people they just iced, right, the
(26:11):
Bavarians ice, But then there's people all over the world. Okay, yeah,
come on, And that's the crazy part, right, you know
as well as I do. You can't get people to
just stop doing some ship, you know what I mean?
When under what circumstances could someone show up and be like,
that's illegal, and all people are going to stop it
(26:32):
all over the world because if it's all over the world,
it wasn't even their government. Why would but they said it,
they said they exactly, so they make this they said
no more. And so for years no one really talks
about the Illuminati, right, they pretty much go completely underground.
Nobody's saying shit about the Illuminati, although for years other
(26:54):
things that sort of happened in the world started to
be connected to the to a possible illuminate the relationship.
Like when the French Revolution happened, a bunch of people
started saying that that might have been because of the Illuminati,
that the Illuminati started the French Revolution started, the the
people uprising against the name, okay, like they were there, yeah,
(27:18):
or that they picked the day and said, well, they
had the big one. I think I don't know. I'm
not a historian, I'm a I'm a nigger who did
some Google searches. Very exciting. Hey, thanks, Well, this is
where it gets even more interesting because they keep connecting
it to weird ship right, Like even there's evidence that
George Washington even mentioned them in a letter one time
(27:42):
where he basically, you know, sevent nine George Washington writes
this letter about the Illuminati where he speculates that the
threat had largely been beaten, where he basically says like,
I know a lot of y'all are talking about the Illuminati,
but I assure you the Illuminati is dead. It's gone,
it's not the thing anymore. Back into after they got busted.
(28:04):
But that's what started to spark up more of the
conversation because everybody's like, why the fund is George Washington
talking about the Illuminati. If the Illuminati isn't real, if
it's not here anymore, then why is this motherfucker thirteen
years later telling me it's not real? That doesn't make sense.
What's that hamlet ship the lady doth protest? Yeah? Yeah,
(28:28):
that lady's protestings protesting a little baby. She's a little
faith George doing features for two million dollars, He's a
little baby. Uh So he wrote that letter to who
It's not clear. I think it was just writing, you know,
(28:48):
have Twitter whoever? They didn't have Twitter back then. I
think you just needed motherfucker's to talk to. Yeah, you
just got to air it out. You're like, hey, you
know what's crazy? People keep talking about the Illuminati. I
don't even they ain't even real. No more fun now
and then and then reading a lot of carrier pigeons
(29:09):
about this Illuminati coming back, and I want to assure
you all you're mistaken, all right, So he wrote that
letter and he was like, no more, no Illuminati, And
like many you know, sort of conspiracy theories, it's the
most dangerous thing, and we see it now every day. Right,
the most dangerous ship you can do is to tweet
(29:32):
about it. Right, whether you agree with it or disagree
with it, you are giving it power by saying this
ship is real or isn't. It doesn't matter. You're telling
people that you think that it at least has some
relevance in the world. And so George Washington sort of
reinvigorated its relevance. And then in the nineties, a whole
(29:53):
bunch of other companies and writers, specifically of this one
dude wrote this book or see reads of books called
the Illuminatis is like a series of books where he
basically is like historical fiction, but it incorporates the Illuminati
and they become like this major player and controlling the world.
(30:13):
And then all those Dan Brown books with the you know,
the fucking uh yeah and so the Illuminati play. Have
you read it? Did I read? I read the It
was the first one the da Vinci coulde. Yeah. I
read that in like two days. It's like candy. It's
so much fun. Oh, I haven't read any of them.
My wife told me I should for this podcast. You
(30:37):
want me to read out of here? Who are you
the Illuminati trying to make me do stuff. Black Illuminati,
Black Illuminati, you said it was, so it was. It
was quiet for like George Washington said it, and then
it was quiet for like a couple hundred years. It
was pretty chill. There's not a lot of evidence of
people really talking about the Illuminati. And then some authors
(30:59):
started writing about it, and that starts to spark a
bunch of ship now here in well, these were more
in like the sixties and seventies. Yeah, and so here's
where things get crazy because we're talking about the black Illuminati.
And I kept asking myself, well, where do black people
come into this, because up to this point we've only
(31:21):
been slaves and then dealing with like fucking you know,
Jim crow era and civil rights ship, Like, there's no
way there's a group of black people benefiting from this
too much. But then in America at least, but maybe
to your point, there's some ship, Like some motherfucker's in
Nigeria are like rubbing their fingers stuff anyway, So yeah,
(31:45):
where do that's the good question. So the big, the
big introduction to the Illuminati, as far as I can find,
is it comes through hip hop. Right. Prodigy is a
great example in the nineties, a whole bunch of rappers
that Mr. Dre's Prodigy, a whole bunch of people start
saying wild shit about how the Illuminati is trying to
(32:06):
control me, the Illuminati trying to destroy my family, Illuminati
don't want me to eat at night whatever, right exactly,
And so it becomes this thing in hip hop where
everybody is basically equating the Illuminati to the oppressor. Anybody
that's doing bad too black people is the Illuminati. Then
(32:28):
artists start to make, Artists start to make some money,
people start getting rich, and so it transforms generations. Right,
jay Z comes along and he starts saying, nobody controls me.
I'm a motherfucking boss. And then people like Prodigy, C
(32:49):
jay Z saying shit like that, and he's like, this
nigga is in the Illuminati. This nigga's got too much money,
he must be in the Illuminati. We were just as
good as him. Why the funk is he so rich?
I mean vice? Right, yes, alcohol exactly, but any but yeah,
(33:11):
deal with your addictions, Prodigy. But maybe maybe it's a
secret society. So what you're saying is we didn't start
talking about a black Illuminati until black people got generational
wealth exactly. Damn. Black Illuminati did not exist as far
as we could see, until people starting to make enough
money to feed their kids, starting to feel real crabs
(33:33):
in a bucket of Yeah. But the exciting part, the
exciting part of your argument is that maybe there could
be a black Illuminati in part because we saw what
generational wealth did to create the original Illuminati. That's what
I'm saying. Yes, like we weren't operating at a level
where it would even be a thing necessary, right until
(33:57):
when of black people first start getting generational wealth, probably
truthfully the century. Yeah, you know, you could argue there's
there's people in the nineteen twenties who started to really
build resources that would ultimately lead to like greater success,
So that that's fair, yeah, right, because you also need
people who have been generationally enlightened or whatever to that, right,
(34:21):
and most of their parents were slaves right until. But
now it's like we're at that point right where people
are like my parents parents were wealth right whatever else,
which is like that is just yeah, we just got
into the game, I think. And so there's no reason
to your point that jay Z couldn't call Oprah and say, hey,
I I want to change things around here. We should
(34:44):
have a meeting where we wear dark cloaks and decide
what the fuck you know black people are going to
get to do today or get to read or subscribe
to That's what I'm saying. I think it's realistic. Also,
power corrupts people. The more powerful people get, they do
crazy ship. Have you ever seen like those pictures from
the Rothschild party? Yeah, it doesn't seem nuts to me
(35:05):
to think that. Maybe, Yeah, like J and B are
putting on deer heads, absolutely, Oprah and whoever else, who
else has got money like that? I don't follow money.
Kevin Hart, Ludicros, Ludacris has that much money, right, He's
got like as do the money. Kevin Hard is for sure, Yes,
(35:29):
for sure. You take a hundred million dollars or whatever
he's worth plus short man complex. He's beating down the door.
I like to think they didn't let Kevin Hard. I
totally agree. I feel like Kevin Kevin applied like four
times before they finally were like, funk, we gotta let
him in. He's just he's too good. He's too good,
He's got too much money. I know he's not Maybe
(35:52):
he's a bad guy. We can't really tell, but funk,
we gotta let him in. Here's my question. For real.
They come on your door, they're like Langston, Yeah, we've
heard the podcast. You listen to Light Skinned Feelings. We
saw we love Insecure, We see you moving around. You're
a strong, married young black man upward least socially mobile.
(36:16):
You give us your firstborn. You're in it, you know,
it's it's a tough question. You don't even have to
give it to them. Your kid just has to Like
I just have to spend summers at Oprah's house, or
I have to indoctrinate my child. Yeah, you have to.
It's like it's not like a literal giving over, but
from that child's birth, its whole soul purpose is to help.
(36:40):
And with that. Let just so I'm fully clear with that.
I don't really get to choose what happens to my kid. No,
but you get, you know, all the benefits of the
Black Illuminati, re cuts, haircuts for life, a boost mobile phone.
Luticals wants to know. Ludicris just checks in on you.
(37:10):
Yeah you are. You're a brother to him now and
he needs to y yeah, yeah, and like and like
and better business dealings and stuff like, like the stuff
like that you would get from being in a white
fraternity or like the schools or something. Yeah. Right, it's
a similar that I feel like i'd be a fool
not to mostly not because I want to be in
(37:32):
the illuminati. I actually think that they're probably really bored,
do you know what I mean? Like, I don't actually, well,
I've always heard this rumor, and maybe you've heard it too,
that like, uh, rich people in general just like reach
a point of wealth where they stop even enjoying things anymore,
and it just becomes you doing ship. Like I've always
heard this rumor about Jamie Fox playing naked basketball with
(37:54):
his friends. Yo, I heard about that too, Yeah, I
didn't hear about it is with his friend, I well, friends, enemies,
I don't know, with potential sexual conquer exactly, but he
like makes them play. Everybody that plays basketball Jamie Fox's
house has to do it naked. And you're not doing
(38:15):
that because that's the best way to play basketball. You're
doing that because your soul is numb in a way
that requires you to need to make something that could
have been fun by itself a level more exciting otherwise
you can't get hard anymore, or you can't play against
the picking roll. So you want to take that, right,
I'm not setting a pick on no man new and
(38:40):
no picks in my game. Take your motherfucking pants off.
Yeah not, We're not playing that Harlem globe trotter. I
like the idea that Jimmie FOXX plays real, like fundamental,
like no flashy bass. Oh he's just straight, straight pull
up shots. He pulls up, just doing the bounce path.
That's for sure. He is fundamentalist ship. But he doesn't
(39:04):
believe in the pick and roll, because that is the
most that's offensive one over here, right, I don't need
you guys playing your urban basketball and Jamie Fox's court.
(39:25):
I don't know I would join. I don't think that.
Here's the thing, Black people have been that rich yet
that we have you think, do you think that happens,
like even if you're the first person in your family
to get rich, to get that well, I don't know.
I think I think to your point, it probably requires
generational wealth. And I do think that part of my
(39:47):
fear is that if you don't join your they'll cut
you off from generational wealth. That like this is and
either you're with us or against us kind of vibe.
So you get the offer, you don't get to know
that they exist and then just go about your day.
They're offering it to you because like either get down
or lay down type ship, you know what I mean,
(40:08):
the state property exactly. It's just like that's just why
I watched that movie. We're gonna take another break and
we'll be back with more mamma told me, and we're back.
(40:39):
I'm gonna kill you. Give me two, all right, We're
back here with more of my mama told me and more.
David boy, we are talking Black Illuminati. We're digging deep
into whether or not we would commit ourselves in the
Black Illuminati, and whether or not the Black Illuminati would
kill us if we don't. Yeah, that's the real question.
(41:00):
I don't think they'd kill you. I don't think they'd
kill you. I think you're right though, you're gonna be
the best. The best your kid's gonna do is like
Hunter kyear tops, right, which in today's economy is uh,
it's not enough. Yeah, and imagine tomorrow's economy, right. You
(41:20):
got to plan for the future, your father, Now, Yeah,
that's fair. I've been eating all these walnuts and my father. Now, yeah, yeah,
you're potent, man, you gotta pass that on. I would join.
I think I would join, man, I think I would join.
Do you have any Do you have any fears about joining?
Is there anything that that you're particularly afraid might happen
(41:40):
if you joined? I worry that I would do some
ship and get kicked out. Oh, that you'd be like
the bad boy of the Black Illuminati. Bad boy is
not maybe the term I was thinking. No, you'd be
like a j You'd be the one that wears the hat.
And yeah, I'd be the one who got drunk a lot,
(42:03):
is what I mean. Like, I'd be so uncouth that
they'd be like, come on, man, well you can't be
in the Black Illuminati. Andy hot Dogs from Costco. Like,
you have to pick right. You have to upgrade your
life in a way that that matches the lifestyle of
your of your your Tessa Thompson's Oh did she make it?
(42:24):
I would assume so she's in everything. Now, Yeah, that's true.
If you're in everything, If you're in everything, you made it.
Janelle Mone she's got to be in the blacks. She
talks about free thinking too. Yeah, a lot, a lot,
like more than you would think a person who thinks freely.
Does You know who I think wants to be in
the Black Illuminati and it drove him crazy that they
(42:45):
wouldn't let him in is Terrence Howard. Because he's a
he's a liability. He's too much of a liability. He's
a he's crazy math. Come over here with new math
talking about flowers. You know, he thought Empire was a documentary.
He doesn't even know that it's filmed. There's no way
(43:09):
that you let Terrence Howard. And because he gets a vote,
he gets an equal vote like other members. I think,
if anything, they are the ones who canceled them. Like, okay,
track with me on this. I'm following. Go ahead, Jesse
Smollett ship, you set that up? Okay? Why was that
(43:30):
a thing? Right? He was doing fine, Jesse, Jesse was
doing great. He was it was only going to get
better for him, it was only going to get better.
He's you think he's handsome. He was sexually neutral in
a way that allowed him to flow freely between spaces
and ship. He could kiss anybody on anybody, anybody. I
(43:51):
think the Black Illuminati takes him out as a message
to Terence Howard, get off our nuts. This is what
we did to your friend. We don't even care about it.
You can see what we'll do to your son. We
don't get a funk about you. Give a funk about you.
This was them sending a baby finger. That's what it was.
Just smaller is the horsehead in the bed. That's just like,
(44:15):
get your ship together, clean up, or we'll comfort with
doing interviews. I think that's why it was only that
g Q interview the Quincy Jones did, and then they
were like no more, right, because Slacy Jones exposed a
lot of ship. He said, who killed Kennedy? Yeah? Remember that? Yeah?
And everybody forgot because he was like, I was the
(44:36):
Richard Pryor used to fuck Harry Belafonte or whoever he was,
Marlon Brando, and it was like, oh, I guess we're
gonna focus on that one because that seems wilder. That
was what. But he never talked like that again. Right,
it was just that interview and he was like on
like some comeback ship, like no, this is a new Quincy,
(44:56):
like this is what it is now, this is a
new I'm checking me out, I'm telling secrets and then
it was just done. It was just that one article
and then nothing else ever happened, And like, how else
do you what else happened? Then with with Quincy? He
shut the funk up. That's what I'm who did that.
(45:17):
John Legend maybe Legends, definitely in the black. He might
be second generation. I don't know. If I don't know
the Legend family like that, sure is his name Legend
for real? I don't know. I honestly have no idea.
I'm gonna say yes, just because it's more fun to
(45:38):
believe that John Legend is a real human being and
that he didn't just make this up for his own
ships and giggles and whatnot. Oh no, it says his
name is John Roger Stephens. That's lame, because of course
his name is not John Legend. That's crazy. But imagine
the hubrists to name yourself legend because he had already
(46:00):
he had already been tapped by that black illuminis. That's
what I'm saying. He was friends with Kanye. Kanye was
friends with jay Z. They saw the talent, they saw
the potential generational wealth. He doesn't hit me as a
guy who grew up in like the hood was struggling
for for money. So I don't think he's ever struggled.
He's never struggled. He married a beautiful Asian model. He
(46:22):
also dog. You think he got Chrissie Teagan, that's a gift.
Bro brok like yo, you don't like they made her
in a lab before him in Like, find me a
picture of christ Teagan before could find it. I'll shut
the funk up now, I'll go home, don't go further
(46:46):
into your house. Yeah, I'll take my shoes upstairs and
of Christian before I can't find it, and I'm not
gonna look for it. That's what I'm saying. They set
up all these booby traps. That's why people fall off.
Birdman was supposed to get a billion dollars, right, they
can't have that. They and it's because what what did
(47:08):
Birdman do that blew him from this position? Because that's
what I hear you, and I agree with you. I
think that the Illuminati is making clear decisions about who
they want to be winning and who they want to
be losing. Neo was doing fucking great for a man time,
and then at some point they exposed that he was
(47:30):
bald on accident and that he wasn't the talent that
they wanted him to be, and they blew up his
whole spot. I can't pinpoint. I I just don't know
how to pinpoint where these these choices are coming from. Well,
that's because we're not in the crew. We don't there's
so many allegiances and you don't know. I'm just saying
all I'm saying. Quincy Jones said, Tevin Campbell is one
(47:53):
of the most talented artists he's ever worked with. Everybody
says it, baby face said it. Uh, they were playing
them all on every radio. He was in the Fresh Prince.
He was the beautiful young boy and a fresh prince
who got to kiss Ashley before Ashley was a grown up.
He kissed Ashley Banks, and he didn't go on to
(48:14):
make a million dollars. I don't know the numbers, but
who did. Nobody knows Ashley Banks besides bro Come on,
that's crazy. That's like, have you ever heard can we
talk like at nighttime? You ever heard that song in
the dark? There are very few songs in in this
world that don't get old. Like every song sort of
(48:35):
has like an expiration date for your soul, your ears,
whatever it is Can We Talk will last as long
as the statues that they're trying to tear down. It
will last be when this world caves in on itself
and it's swallowed by the son above us. Can We
Talk will be the last song that everyone listens to
(48:57):
as we fall into the apocalypse. Who are you telling, bro?
I think that we should put it on a cassette
tape blasted into space, just so people know that was
something humans did want. This is our greatest contribution. This
is what you put that in, Like Lebron James in
a spaceship tell the world and aliens. Aliens are gonna
(49:20):
hear it and be like, well, this must have been
a god on this planet. They might this man must
have he must have accomplished everything you can accomplish. And
we're like, nah, he had like three hits and then
we made him shut the funk up. Yeah, he had
like a weird little comeback with a goofy movie. But no,
but nobody really associated with him. They just called him
(49:41):
by the character they that's I mean, that's the only
thing that makes sense to me. A lot of people,
a lot there's so many people I think got blocked.
Bochim Woodbine. Yes, hell yeah, talk talk Why didn't that work?
Why didn't that? Are you kidding me? Amazing talent? Talent?
(50:03):
Where is he now? I think I got more Twitter
followers in book. I don't even do anything, bro, I
could barely read. Are you where is Woodbine? And why
isn't he being welcomed back into the Black Illuminati because
he ran a foul of someone? Right? God, you're making
sense to me, man. This is hitting me and all
the sweet spots that I like to be hit. I'm
(50:25):
telling you, man, if it don't make dollars, you know
what I mean? Like? And that's the other thing about
the Illuminati is I feel like they pluck. You don't
have to be good, you just have to be willing, right.
That is something we've seen historically. They let you funk up.
We've seen some of the most elite of the people
who we all agree or fucking Illuminati members just do horrendous.
(50:47):
Kanye West is constantly fumbling a bag. Terry Crews cannot
hold onto a bag. For for dear life. I haven't
trusted him ever. Sure. I don't like I don't like
muscles that have wrinkles in them, that bothers me. Nope, nope, no,
right that one fucking tell me. Also that whole headship,
(51:12):
his whole headships? Are those tis sweet? Are they not sweet?
I can't tell because they got all these ridges that
I you look like you look like a ruffles chip,
and I don't like he looks like a crumpled bag
of Doritos. You look like you were not sold this way,
(51:32):
And I don't care for it, and I wanna we
gotta fix it. No, you can't trust him, but he's
still here, you know what I mean? Well, Smith, how
many albums after he was bad at rapping and put
out style, he made the Miami video. He made that
whole video, and then he somehow figured out a way
to make us listen to his son be just okay,
(51:54):
It's stuff. And then he made us listen to his
daughter be just okay, It's stuff. And now somehow they
they've elevated themselves to being good at the thing that
they used to be just okay at. It feels like manipulation.
Jade has got to come to bring herself to the
red table. Now she's gonna admit that she's been having
sex with a young boy and all why Will Smith
(52:17):
was reading scripts that aren't gonna work out, but he
still is rich. That's what I'm saying that all this
being said, watch me on this joke up and here
on Quimby. It's a stand up show starring Will Smith
and myself. We got to hang out. I'm doing some
good bits. Some he did welcome me into the Black Illuminati. Yeah,
like we hung out in Vegas for a weekend. It
(52:38):
was pretty cool. He's got a drone. He said, if
I bought some new clothes and cleaned up my act,
I might be able to hang out more often. But yeah,
I didn't believe it. The point is you can funk up.
You can funk up, you just can't like you can't
not be with them. And I think if anything, bochim
Woodbine was just he was too strong. I think there's
a moment and even we're going down the boking Woodbine train.
(53:03):
Alan Payne, hey, that was a dude. He America couldn't
get enough of Alan Paine. And now he's doing Tyler
Perry like sideshows Doug beautiful, strong, great voice voice. He
did comedy, he did drama, He did it all well.
(53:23):
He did all that wasn't he in Eve's Byou? He was?
He was No, not Eve's by You? He was in
Jason's lyric ly they both were in Bayou's. I think
it was. It was a lot of them standing by
swamps with secrets. Yeah, and I feel like a blue
tint on the Yeah. But anyways, Alan Payne, Yeah, there's
(53:48):
no reason, there's no reason, not at all. He should
be on this show next week. I hope he does it.
I'm gonna ask. I bet he's available. I got a
good failing, we'll get out of pain. I had another
game plan, but I actually think that this is a
more interesting game to play with. You. You host a
very fun podcast called All Fantasy Everything. You guys draft
(54:10):
stuff in your podcast. Who are your favorite Black Illuminati
members or who do you think, more importantly are the
most powerful members of the Black Illuminati? Okay, so there
are two things for me, right sure? Because first of all,
much like a lot of black issues, there is colorism
in the blacks. Right, So, who are my dark skinned
(54:33):
Black Illuminati heroes? Here we go? I like to think
there's like a dark skinned hit squad, much like the Gestapo,
like a Black Illuminati, dark skinned you got the faces,
but then you got the money and uh yeah, I
got you. And also these are like the hitters, like
this is like like who who's gonna be? Who's gonna
(54:54):
be in the trailer after Terence Howard? Does it take?
And to be like no, you're still out, Like that's
what I'm talking about. That's hard man. Yeah, because now
I'm just going over my rollodex. And many of these black,
these dark skinned kings are too strong, too strong, too strong.
(55:16):
They were like Wood Harris, No, yeah, Wood Harris, he's
not going for it. I like to think, Jiman Hansu,
that's a good answer, Giaman Hansu. One is in the illuminati.
If we're talking about a gift, when did you and
Comoral Lee Simmons link up? When was that normal conversation?
(55:37):
What did he say? What did he get it? You know?
That's trying to do that. Don't leave me challenge to
get a super seal. That was my next one. That's
the gift that that's that's a gift where somebody was like,
hey man, thank you for your contributions. We we sent
Hatty cloone to your house. And he doesn't even seemed
(56:00):
particularly charming. No, honestly, he seems very dry. Yes. Also,
I knew this girl who worked at a bank out
in the Palisades. She's, man, I'm gonna get I hope
this never comes out. She said that Seal would just
come in like every few weeks with a twenty thousand
(56:21):
dollar check that he would cash cash in person. Oh,
he'd take it straight to cash, straight to cash. Jesus
Christ from different Yes, So what a weirdo? What an
Illuminati hitter? Right? And what arrogance your Seal? You have
an assistant? Also, you don't have a bank account, Bro,
(56:42):
he's gotta cash it. There's there's gotta be a baby
Seal you can send to to go do this work
for you. Is there a baby Seal? Oh? Seals steals got.
I think he has babies with Heidi Cloone. I'm almost
pretty sure that they had kids together. Good for him, man, Yeah,
for him. I'd like to think what's his name, Brian Tyree, Oh,
(57:05):
Brian Tyre Henry. Yeah, I think that he could be.
I think he could be in there. He seems like
he's he was recently initiated. Yeah, same with Daniel oh
Kalua Daniel Klua, I think recently initiated. I think a
telltale sign of people suddenly being in the Illuminati is
(57:28):
how often we see them and ship. Yeah, especially when
you went from never seeing him. Yes, it doesn't make
sense a lot where you're like, how did the guy
from the reboot of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventurers get
a Spike Lee movie? Right? What do you know? What?
I mean, what are you doing in the Joker movie? Why?
Why are you here? Yeah? How are you there? Paul?
(57:50):
And now you're in the Malcolm X reboot, the SAMs
SAMs fishy. I don't know about it. I don't know
about it. I'm trying to think what was that? Three?
I mean one more? I think like that's why it
was so late, her kind of ascension to where she's
been acting her ass off forever for once he finally
(58:12):
got down and then, uh, who's the last one? Oh?
I don't know, but I would hope that Grace Jones
had made it in somehow. Oh that's nice. Yeah, I
just really like that energy. Yeah. I don't think that
we often consider the people who are no longer hot
names or with us and all that. I think it's
mostly that I think it's mostly that. Sure, you're only
(58:35):
white hot for so long, but you're Illuminati money forever. Ride.
As long as you commit and you stay committed, you
can stay in the Illuminati forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you don't. You don't get kicked out. I don't think
many people ever got kicked out. Well, that gives me
great comfort to know that strange A is forever and
always going to be protected by the Illuminati. Well, this
(59:01):
has been great. I've had a great time. We've learned
a lot, we've explored a lot, we've made up a lot.
We'll probably get sued, but it's exciting and I had
a great time. David, can you tell the people at
home where they can find you? Oh yeah, my Twitter
is at the Gus Silent. I'm not really on Twitter anymore,
the cool guy jokes Sadie seven All Fantasy Everything Podcast,
(59:23):
Watch my special and then, uh, you know Will Smith
don't cancel me. Yeah, his special is great and he
took one of the funniest videos with Will Smith of
all time. Would hijack It's very funny. Well, this has
been another episode of my Mama told me. I'm Langston Kerman.
(59:43):
You can find me at Langston Kerman on all the
twitters and the Instagrams, and that's pretty much it. Thank
you all for listening. Good night, okolmayers are racist. He
(01:00:05):
also players for mostly money versions of men Altney stuffering.
I can't tell me about my
Is the want for them to actually be helping the
world and black people, or is the want to just
control and subsequently get rich from their control. I think
it's control and get rich. But sometimes that has to
do with black people prospering. I think sometimes it does.
You're saying, I think it's more about power than it
is about impil right, So at the cost of people,
(00:23):
they will continue to get rich. But that doesn't mean
that their sole intention every day is the like murder
a child. No, not at all. But if it lines
up that way, that's why you can't funk with me.
I'll shoot the ship out that baby. Yeah exactly. I
don't give a ship. I got three cars, but that
baby baby. I got cards, but that baby ships racist
(01:03):
money can't tell me. Yeah fuck yeah. Welcome, ladies and
gentlemen to another another exceptional episode of My Mama Told Me,
(01:23):
the podcast where we dive deep, deep, so deep, put
your ass to sleep. We dive deep into the world
of black conspiracy theories, and we make it our mission
to prove that Jesus also wants Chris Tucker to start
cursing again. Say nigga, nigga, we need you. We miss
the Chris Tucker, you word, let those demons go. Michael
(01:45):
Jackson is dead, Jeffrey Epstein is dead. No one else
can tell your secrets. Just say nigga, we miss you,
Chris Tucker. Oh boy, we have a phenomenal episode today.
I'm your host, Langston Kerman as always, and I'm very,
very excited. I'm doing well. I have a bit of
a tummy ache, but I'm not gonna let that deter me.
I've been eating a fair amount of walnuts. My wife
(02:09):
and I were trying to have a child together, and
apparently walnuts helped me become more potent. That's that's supposed
to help with my potency, which is not something I
enjoy saying out loud, nor do I expect that you
enjoy hearing it. But I gotta make my sperm strong,
so I'm mean a lot of walnuts. My guest today,
I imagine he has very strong sperm. I don't doubt
(02:31):
his sperm for a second. Seems like a man with
a thick load, if you ask me, just a proud load.
I don't know if we can still say that about
other people in today's Hollywood, but we'll find out once
he gets on the microphone. He's so funny. Uh, just
fucking the funniest. He has a Comedy Central half hour
that I love so much, one of the best I've
(02:53):
seen in years. He has an amazing podcast called All
Fantasy Everything. He is literally the voice of Comedy Central
after they throw the commercials for those Charman Bears. He
is the one that brings you back. Give it up
from my guests. So hilarious, David boy. Everybody they were worried,
(03:14):
what's up, big dog? Just you know, proud, thick load heritage,
just like the heritage. Yeah, just that goes back to Africa.
Really sure the Bories are known for their heavy, thick load. Yeah,
they can't read, but man, you don't need to read
(03:37):
when you need to read with a load like this
spider Man webs everywhere. There's four million of us. Who
needs to read. We're a fucking soccer team. I love that. Yeah,
I love to hear it. It just gives me. It
gives me comfort to know that's what you're working with.
I didn't know that about walnuts. I eat walnuts. Yeah,
they're apparently they're good for you. There's other stuff that's
(03:59):
good for you, and then there's like stuff that feels
fairly obvious, like don't put your laptop in your lap
because you're exposing yourself to radiation, or don't keep your
your phone in your pocket because five G is gonna
give your dick coronavirus. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
for sure, for sure, just the standard rules. I don't
(04:19):
really know what five G is, if we're going to
be completely honest, I don't think anybody does, which is why,
which is why somehow we thought it gave us a cough. Yo,
I think my phone has four G, is what I think?
Oh nice, No, I don't know. It's no, it's terrible.
I have a metro phone. I got you. The technology
(04:41):
hasn't matched the service that you're getting. If you have Metro,
you can't get Corona. That's a fact science. Yeah, you
tell your listeners. I didn't even do that. That's you
think metro PCs. Sure that's gonna be in their commercials
pretty soon. Oh yeah, that that in thick You want
(05:02):
a thick load and never get coronavirus, then you need
metro PCs. You also want a BlackBerry for some reason.
If you want a phone that flips open still have
weekend minutes. You want to wait till after seven pm
to call your friends because that's when it's free. Then
(05:25):
you need metro PCs. It don't work in Canada. I
do love that they throw that in where like, oh,
by the way, in case you were about to travel,
you poor idiot. You can't use this in Canada. You
know what, though, I bet you it works in the
d R m HM for sure. One do you know why?
(05:48):
Because the Dominican man sold you that phone, and so
he did whatever he needed to do to make sure
that this service was going to make its way to
the Dominican Republic. I mean should be told I have
a Dominican number just for tax purposes. Anyways? Oh is
that is that actually true? No? No, God Jesus Christ,
because I was gonna say, please don't say it on
(06:09):
the podcast this. I know we talked about conspiracy theories,
but I'm I can't protect you from anything. I no, no, no,
my numbers, my numbers USA. Hell yeah, I know you
guys can't hear it at home. But David just winked
at me in one of that that had nothing to
do with this thick load. I think he was mostly
(06:31):
focused on his secret phone number from the Dominican Republic.
No big deal, No big deal. This is uh. I'm
so happy you're here. We're gonna have a great time.
This is actually a really fun, uh subject you brought
to us. We talked a little bit briefly before this
about what conspiracy theory you most bought into and the
(06:53):
one that you immediately came back with, which I think
is so interesting. You said, my mama told me there
is a black illuminati. Bro, tell me more. I'm excited.
So I can remember specifically the first time I heard
(07:13):
about it. I was living in San Francisco and I
was at the Ace of Fades barbershop on Geneva and
they were playing this YouTube video and it was about
how Prince knew that nine eleven happened. Oh shit, Prince
knew that it happened, or now it was gonna come
he p. Yeah. I love the idea that Prince is
(07:37):
just walking around like a king because he knew it happened. Yeah,
I think have you heard of September eleventh? Open your mind?
It was that he predicted it, and it was like
a YouTube video and it's like, do you ever see
(07:57):
those videos where it's like the same announcer who talks
like this, Yes, it was that, and they were like,
this is an audio recording of prints four days before
night eleven. And then it was just somebody going bush
knocked down the towers, bush knocked down the towers. And
then yeah, and then my barber, who was a Filipino
(08:19):
dude flagrantly using saying nigga, I don't know the rules. Yeah,
well everybody else everybody else was cool. I don't I
find in the in the northeast or excuse me, the
northwest of this country. Nobody knows the rules. You guys
don't have clear definitions on the N word, whereas I'm
from the Midwest and like we have very stark lines,
(08:40):
and you guys are like, I don't know, he looks
like he's from Taiwan. Go ahead, say a good thing, man.
I don't sixty percent of the Filipinos I know, I
don't know rules like there. But anyways, they played this,
and then the rest of my haircut was just everybody
arguing about whether or not that was actually Prince. Okay,
(09:05):
that was That's what I was gonna ask you, did
you feel like it was actually Prince in the recording
that's fucked up. It sounded like Prince Man. I don't know,
like I haven't heard him talk that much other than singing, right,
but to me it sounded like Prince And then ever
since then, I'm like, I don't even know if I
believe in the Black Illuminati, but I want it to
(09:25):
be real, real, bad, right you why can't we have
our own we could run ship. Oh you really just
wanted to be to be there because you believe in
black people. This is like, yeah, this is black empowerment.
This isn't any type of like No, I just think
we could do it well as well. That makes sense.
I think we should dig a little bit into just
(09:51):
a general understanding of what the Illuminati is. Maybe that'll
that'll lay a groundwork for this conversation. For any of
our listeners who feel like they somehow don't know what
the Illuminati is, I guess they've never been an old
spaghetti factory. Then sure, Wait, the spaghetti factory has a
clear connection to the deep state. Look it up, bro,
(10:12):
a new world order, talk to me about these things.
What when you say illuminati, what exactly do you mean
a small group of people who are running the bigger things.
So all political policy you see an acted, there's no left,
there's no right, there's only the illuminati. Right. Sure, all
(10:33):
social trends that you see happening the illuminatis. It's just
like the idea that the entire world is run by
a small group of people. Right. So in theory, when
I decide to start wearing skinny Janes because I am
seeing a trend out in the world, I'm thinking that
this is like an independent choice that I'm making. And
instead you're saying that this was dictated by a group
(10:54):
of people who said, no skinny Janes will be in fashion,
and they secretly have some motive that they are trying
to cut off circulation in legs, thus forcing a community
to struggle because of their commitment to little pants. Exactly,
it's not because you think it looks fresh. It's because
Virgil and then I guess, Oprah, I don't know who
(11:17):
all makes the cut. Those people want it that they
sat down and they said we need them to look
ridiculous in little pants. And I also, in my opinion,
I think there may be some people who aren't black
in the black illuminati. Go on. I think Bill Clinton
could be in the Black Illuminati. Pause right there, I listen.
(11:38):
I'm happy to hear this, and and I'm very excited.
Tell me why Bill Clinton might be in the black Illuminati.
I don't think they let him in the white one.
Mm hmm, thig number one. He plays the saxophone. Nobody
in the white Illuminati plays a jazz based instrument that
you can look that up. That's not me. That's not
(11:59):
just talking sulking reads than they don't have the breath
control for it. They don't White Illuminati like. So, yeah,
I think Bill Clinton he's just real nigorous, just like
in his dealings in general, he was hose like a lot. Yeah.
(12:23):
Here's the thing with Bill Clinton, because for years the
black community called him like the first black president, right,
he was simultaneously putting more black men in jail than
than most presidents ever have, and so it became this
weird dance of him being like, somehow the most down
president while also the one that hated us the most
(12:44):
because it be your own people, right, Okay, Yeah, okay,
I see what you're getting at. You see what I'm saying.
What you're saying, I'm not saying it's a good thing.
I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm just saying
that's where he's at. Right. So Bill Clinton's potentially in
the Black Illuminati, Yeah, for sure, for sure. Who else
(13:07):
I think Bruce Lee was? Probably he dipped in because
people love karate. Yeah, that's that's the only reason. Ye Okay,
And they were just he was so good at at
his martial arts that they were like, Bruce Lee, you're in. Yeah,
Jim Kelly didn't want to do it, so right, you
(13:28):
need a weapon sky. It's like the Illuminati is much
like a bank heist or something. You need a fully
rounded team. I see what I'm saying, Like, you need
different expertise, right, it can't just be a room full
of entertainers. No, no, no, no, you need like you
need like a weapons guy. You need you need like
a tech nerd. You know, somebody who can do the
(13:50):
flip off the top shelf. And then the tiny Chinese man. Yeah,
you guys all know the tiny Chinese man we're talking about? Yeah,
from Ocean, Yeah and twelve and thirteen. He made it
in all three. It's a whole series. That guy. He's
living good, I hope. So I really liked he honestly,
(14:11):
and it's hard to you can never it's it only
feels racist to tell people. But he was my favorite character.
But I also never knew his name really, so it
was like a weird thing of being like, I like
the Chinese one, Like, all right, who is that? I
don't know his name? I like the Chinese Like, it's
not like you didn't like the Chinese one. That's the racist.
That is the racist part. I could have taken the time,
(14:33):
I guess, to learn what's behind the tiny and the
Chinese if that makes sense. No, what are the other
people's names in that movie? What are the other character's names? Uh,
Brad Pitt, Yeah, exactly, Bernie Mack pretty good. You don't
know any of those character names? Sure, that's fair. That's
I know, Danny Ocean, that's it, and then the rest
(14:56):
of them are See that's fun. I thought it was
Billy Ocean, Billy Ocean, different guy. Similar contributions to American
uh you know culture, but yeah, Caribbean queen right. Okay,
So so besides Bill Clinton and Bruce Lee, potentially you
said John b also is a potential contributor to the
(15:18):
Black Illuminati. I guess one of the questions I have
are the things that really popped in my head is
if white people in Chinese people are part of this
black illuminati, what is their contribution to this? Why would
I want Bill Clinton in my black illuminati. I think
it's one of those things where it's just like they
generally accept that culture, maybe more than their own. Like
(15:41):
they're they're invested in the black cloture. It's like like
Gary Owen, where does you may call this money? Right?
You know what I'm saying, It's like the same type
of thing. Yes, it's people who have already they were
already with black people anyways. Sure so even by your
argument right that, uh, if this is about the control
all of the black community and and our choices, then
(16:03):
the people at the highest levels of our entertainment, of
our social progress, whatever, would ultimately have their say in
what's happening. Thus a Bill Clinton and Guarry Owen of Bruce.
I didn't say, you're saying Gary is not in the
black Yeah, I'm saying that time, okayte that down. If
(16:31):
I could just pause for a second for my listeners
at home. David wants to be as clear as possible
that Garry Owen did not make the cut of the
Black Illuminati. I assume he wants to be in the
Black Lawn, wants to of course, he wants to be
in the Black Illuminati piece of ship. But you are
not welcome in our in our Black Illuminati, you ask whole,
(16:52):
Gary Owen, No, sir, this is fascinating. What do you
think specific thickly differentiates the Black Illuminati from other Illuminati counterparts,
because by your suggestion, I would assume that there are
also now Latin next uh Illuminatis, and I think so
(17:14):
the probably a Vietnamese Illuminati. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think
it's I think it's cultural. Are they moving completely different?
Are they just focusing on their people? What's the goals here?
I think about it like a u N situation where
it's like every Illuminati has their own delegate that they
(17:35):
send to the main Illuminati meeting. Right. Oh, but it's
like it's like summer stronger than others, you know what
I mean, Like, Okay, Chile is in the u N.
But they're not like at the meeting swinging dick. They
kind of sit on the side and mind their business
right right, right, right, like like any any power situation.
(17:57):
So I think it's like that, like there are other Illuminatis,
but like they're not as powerful, got you, So in
this case, I'd have to assume, and it breaks my
heart to stay at the Black Illuminati is not They're
not swinging dick quite as much as we would like.
Well okay, not as much as we would like, but
(18:18):
I think pretty huge, right, just for the fact that
American pop culture kind of dictates the world where we
are a major part of that. So it's like we
do too much to not have a place there, I
got you. It's not maybe what we would want. It's
almost like a North Korea vibe where it's like, I
mean you said it, no, no, no, come along with me. Okay, okay,
(18:44):
I got not listening and I'm in the house. I
got nothing to do today. No, though we we are
by your suggestion, and this is not my work, this
is your work, David, by your suggestion. What what we're
saying is is that the act Illuminati at these meetings,
although not necessarily the power that we want to be,
(19:05):
has to be taken seriously at all times, much like
a North Korea in the world. Not to say that
we are evil, not to suggest that we are somehow,
you know, connected with dictatorship, but certainly just something to
be feared if nothing else. No, I think that we
have a bigger see at the table than just like
(19:25):
a wild outlier. Got you, you say what I'm saying like,
I don't think it's like I don't think we're like
do this or we'll bomb you. I think we're in
part on decisions and stuff like that. I got you.
You know what I'm saying Like, I don't think it's
like we're not just like a crazy like we got
W M D S or whatever. Like, I think we're
an active part of the conversation. I like that. That's
what i'd hope. I'm sorry I compared black people to
(19:48):
North Korea. Don't be sorry, Listen. Li's the writer's room.
It's the writer's room that we're gonna project across the world.
There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, there's nothing wrong. Listen.
We're not the first people to equate black people in
North Korea. We won't be the last. Boy, Do I
hope that's true in either direction? Do I hope that's true. Well,
(20:08):
we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be back
here with more. My mama told me, and we are that. Yeah,
(20:29):
we're back here with more, my mama told me, And
I am still here with David Boi, hilarious, hilarious comedian
who was telling me more and more about the deep, deep,
deep conspiracies conspiracy rather of the Black Illuminati and all
of its comings and goings in the world and the
(20:50):
damage it's doing or help it's doing. I don't know
with black people, do you think they help people? I
think it's neutral to be you know what I mean.
I think it's like like any government or anything like that.
I think some things are very positive. I think that
some things are very negative. I don't think it would
be fair to say that they're ultimately helping people, because look,
(21:14):
via the prison system or whatever, we're still in bondage, right,
So it's like they're not like killing you, you know
what I mean, They're not killing it. Yeah. I don't
think they're doing great period. I don't even think they're
necessarily doing a good job. I think maybe better than
they were. Okay, So we talked about this, but I
did some deep diving. I did some research on the
(21:35):
conversation of the Illuminati and specifically the Black Illuminati, and
I want to share some of the things that I've
I've dug up and hopefully you have some answers, because, honestly,
more so than any other episode that I've had thus far,
this one left me with more questions than real answer.
That's what I'm saying. It's deep, It's deep. It's very deep.
(21:56):
I did hours of research, and I mostly came up
tie aired and uh a little frustrated with the information
I was pulling. So I personally didn't know. Let's start here,
I personally didn't know that the Illuminati is a real thing.
Do you know what I mean that? Like, okay, okay, okay, wait,
(22:18):
don't tell. The point is, I had no idea that
the Illuminati was real. I I thought that this was
just sort of like a fantasy thing that people had
made up over years and years of like spreading rumors, whatever.
(22:39):
But the Illuminati was actually a real organization that was
created in seventeen seventy six, the exact time of the
birth of the America that we know. So seventeen seventy six,
this dude, Adam West Shopped, a German lawyer who believed
strongly in enlightenment and ideals, specifically created the Illuminati to
(23:02):
promote these principles of like enlightenment among elites people he
had deemed elites in society. Is that not what I've
been saying it is, it's what you've been saying. And
but even scarier part the Illuminati as we know it,
as the organization that was technically on record, only lasted
(23:23):
ten years. Five The Bavarian government shuts it down because
they basically say, we deem all secret societies completely illegal.
You are no longer allowed to illuminate or enlighten. You
must shut this ship down. And they basically claim from
that point forward that the Illuminati no longer exists, that
(23:43):
it is yes, and not just the government. Everyone around
them is saying, like, oh, the Illuminati. It's as if
the police showed up and we're like shut the party
down and then everybody went home. Do you have any
stats on member ship before that happened? Great question. I
was digging into the membership, which apparently, as it was
(24:06):
originally created, it started with like six to nine dudes.
They were mostly basing all everything that they did off of, Uh,
what are those guys? The Freemasons. So they wanted it
strictly guys. They wanted to be like elite dudes in
the world who were free thinkers, and UH particularly were
(24:26):
opposed to UH like sort of living in the past
and following like tradition and more interested in infiltrating organizations
for control, so like the infiltration of politics so that
they can then you know, decide how votes are are
made and shipped like that. And did they study politicians.
(24:48):
I don't it. So that's the part that gets messy, right,
because they start with six to nine dudes, but then
they intentionally target the Freemasons, which is already an organization
by this point, and they start pulling their members. They'll
like show up to Freemason meetings pretending to be Freemasons
and then trick those Freemasons into joining the Illuminati and
(25:08):
coming back and becoming Illuminati members. And so there's all
this speculation about by the end, in that ten years,
it moved somewhere from six to nine dudes to six
hundred to undred people, but still very vague on numbers,
very vague on numbers, but they've accumulated exponentially more people
(25:29):
than they had when they started. And then last question
that I have for the origins, so the Freemasons operated
in Germany or they went out to the world and
did that. I think the Freemasons were all over because
a lot of our like UH founding fathers are connected
to the Freemasons. A lot of like big historical figures
(25:49):
and spaces are connected to the Freemasons. I think the
Illuminati specifically started UH in Bavaria and then moved other
places in theory, so what we have is possibly an
international network of possibly people they just iced, right, the
(26:11):
Bavarians ice, But then there's people all over the world. Okay, yeah,
come on, And that's the crazy part, right, you know
as well as I do. You can't get people to
just stop doing some ship, you know what I mean?
When under what circumstances could someone show up and be like,
that's illegal, and all people are going to stop it
(26:32):
all over the world because if it's all over the world,
it wasn't even their government. Why would but they said it,
they said they exactly, so they make this they said
no more. And so for years no one really talks
about the Illuminati, right, they pretty much go completely underground.
Nobody's saying shit about the Illuminati, although for years other
(26:54):
things that sort of happened in the world started to
be connected to the to a possible illuminate the relationship.
Like when the French Revolution happened, a bunch of people
started saying that that might have been because of the Illuminati,
that the Illuminati started the French Revolution started, the the
people uprising against the name, okay, like they were there, yeah,
(27:18):
or that they picked the day and said, well, they
had the big one. I think I don't know. I'm
not a historian, I'm a I'm a nigger who did
some Google searches. Very exciting. Hey, thanks, Well, this is
where it gets even more interesting because they keep connecting
it to weird ship right, Like even there's evidence that
George Washington even mentioned them in a letter one time
(27:42):
where he basically, you know, sevent nine George Washington writes
this letter about the Illuminati where he speculates that the
threat had largely been beaten, where he basically says like,
I know a lot of y'all are talking about the Illuminati,
but I assure you the Illuminati is dead. It's gone,
it's not the thing anymore. Back into after they got busted.
(28:04):
But that's what started to spark up more of the
conversation because everybody's like, why the fund is George Washington
talking about the Illuminati. If the Illuminati isn't real, if
it's not here anymore, then why is this motherfucker thirteen
years later telling me it's not real? That doesn't make sense.
What's that hamlet ship the lady doth protest? Yeah? Yeah,
(28:28):
that lady's protestings protesting a little baby. She's a little
faith George doing features for two million dollars, He's a
little baby. Uh So he wrote that letter to who
It's not clear. I think it was just writing, you know,
(28:48):
have Twitter whoever? They didn't have Twitter back then. I
think you just needed motherfucker's to talk to. Yeah, you
just got to air it out. You're like, hey, you
know what's crazy? People keep talking about the Illuminati. I
don't even they ain't even real. No more fun now
and then and then reading a lot of carrier pigeons
(29:09):
about this Illuminati coming back, and I want to assure
you all you're mistaken, all right, So he wrote that
letter and he was like, no more, no Illuminati, And
like many you know, sort of conspiracy theories, it's the
most dangerous thing, and we see it now every day. Right,
the most dangerous ship you can do is to tweet
(29:32):
about it. Right, whether you agree with it or disagree
with it, you are giving it power by saying this
ship is real or isn't. It doesn't matter. You're telling
people that you think that it at least has some
relevance in the world. And so George Washington sort of
reinvigorated its relevance. And then in the nineties, a whole
(29:53):
bunch of other companies and writers, specifically of this one
dude wrote this book or see reads of books called
the Illuminatis is like a series of books where he
basically is like historical fiction, but it incorporates the Illuminati
and they become like this major player and controlling the world.
(30:13):
And then all those Dan Brown books with the you know,
the fucking uh yeah and so the Illuminati play. Have
you read it? Did I read? I read the It
was the first one the da Vinci coulde. Yeah. I
read that in like two days. It's like candy. It's
so much fun. Oh, I haven't read any of them.
My wife told me I should for this podcast. You
(30:37):
want me to read out of here? Who are you
the Illuminati trying to make me do stuff. Black Illuminati,
Black Illuminati, you said it was, so it was. It
was quiet for like George Washington said it, and then
it was quiet for like a couple hundred years. It
was pretty chill. There's not a lot of evidence of
people really talking about the Illuminati. And then some authors
(30:59):
started writing about it, and that starts to spark a
bunch of ship now here in well, these were more
in like the sixties and seventies. Yeah, and so here's
where things get crazy because we're talking about the black Illuminati.
And I kept asking myself, well, where do black people
come into this, because up to this point we've only
(31:21):
been slaves and then dealing with like fucking you know,
Jim crow era and civil rights ship, Like, there's no
way there's a group of black people benefiting from this
too much. But then in America at least, but maybe
to your point, there's some ship, Like some motherfucker's in
Nigeria are like rubbing their fingers stuff anyway, So yeah,
(31:45):
where do that's the good question. So the big, the
big introduction to the Illuminati, as far as I can find,
is it comes through hip hop. Right. Prodigy is a
great example in the nineties, a whole bunch of rappers
that Mr. Dre's Prodigy, a whole bunch of people start
saying wild shit about how the Illuminati is trying to
(32:06):
control me, the Illuminati trying to destroy my family, Illuminati
don't want me to eat at night whatever, right exactly,
And so it becomes this thing in hip hop where
everybody is basically equating the Illuminati to the oppressor. Anybody
that's doing bad too black people is the Illuminati. Then
(32:28):
artists start to make, Artists start to make some money,
people start getting rich, and so it transforms generations. Right,
jay Z comes along and he starts saying, nobody controls me.
I'm a motherfucking boss. And then people like Prodigy, C
(32:49):
jay Z saying shit like that, and he's like, this
nigga is in the Illuminati. This nigga's got too much money,
he must be in the Illuminati. We were just as
good as him. Why the funk is he so rich?
I mean vice? Right, yes, alcohol exactly, but any but yeah,
(33:11):
deal with your addictions, Prodigy. But maybe maybe it's a
secret society. So what you're saying is we didn't start
talking about a black Illuminati until black people got generational
wealth exactly. Damn. Black Illuminati did not exist as far
as we could see, until people starting to make enough
money to feed their kids, starting to feel real crabs
(33:33):
in a bucket of Yeah. But the exciting part, the
exciting part of your argument is that maybe there could
be a black Illuminati in part because we saw what
generational wealth did to create the original Illuminati. That's what
I'm saying. Yes, like we weren't operating at a level
where it would even be a thing necessary, right until
(33:57):
when of black people first start getting generational wealth, probably
truthfully the century. Yeah, you know, you could argue there's
there's people in the nineteen twenties who started to really
build resources that would ultimately lead to like greater success,
So that that's fair, yeah, right, because you also need
people who have been generationally enlightened or whatever to that, right,
(34:21):
and most of their parents were slaves right until. But
now it's like we're at that point right where people
are like my parents parents were wealth right whatever else,
which is like that is just yeah, we just got
into the game, I think. And so there's no reason
to your point that jay Z couldn't call Oprah and say, hey,
I I want to change things around here. We should
(34:44):
have a meeting where we wear dark cloaks and decide
what the fuck you know black people are going to
get to do today or get to read or subscribe
to That's what I'm saying. I think it's realistic. Also,
power corrupts people. The more powerful people get, they do
crazy ship. Have you ever seen like those pictures from
the Rothschild party? Yeah, it doesn't seem nuts to me
(35:05):
to think that. Maybe, Yeah, like J and B are
putting on deer heads, absolutely, Oprah and whoever else, who
else has got money like that? I don't follow money.
Kevin Hart, Ludicros, Ludacris has that much money, right, He's
got like as do the money. Kevin Hard is for sure, Yes,
(35:29):
for sure. You take a hundred million dollars or whatever
he's worth plus short man complex. He's beating down the door.
I like to think they didn't let Kevin Hard. I
totally agree. I feel like Kevin Kevin applied like four
times before they finally were like, funk, we gotta let
him in. He's just he's too good. He's too good,
He's got too much money. I know he's not Maybe
(35:52):
he's a bad guy. We can't really tell, but funk,
we gotta let him in. Here's my question. For real.
They come on your door, they're like Langston, Yeah, we've
heard the podcast. You listen to Light Skinned Feelings. We
saw we love Insecure, We see you moving around. You're
a strong, married young black man upward least socially mobile.
(36:16):
You give us your firstborn. You're in it, you know,
it's it's a tough question. You don't even have to
give it to them. Your kid just has to Like
I just have to spend summers at Oprah's house, or
I have to indoctrinate my child. Yeah, you have to.
It's like it's not like a literal giving over, but
from that child's birth, its whole soul purpose is to help.
(36:40):
And with that. Let just so I'm fully clear with that.
I don't really get to choose what happens to my kid. No,
but you get, you know, all the benefits of the
Black Illuminati, re cuts, haircuts for life, a boost mobile phone.
Luticals wants to know. Ludicris just checks in on you.
(37:10):
Yeah you are. You're a brother to him now and
he needs to y yeah, yeah, and like and like
and better business dealings and stuff like, like the stuff
like that you would get from being in a white
fraternity or like the schools or something. Yeah. Right, it's
a similar that I feel like i'd be a fool
not to mostly not because I want to be in
(37:32):
the illuminati. I actually think that they're probably really bored,
do you know what I mean? Like, I don't actually, well,
I've always heard this rumor, and maybe you've heard it too,
that like, uh, rich people in general just like reach
a point of wealth where they stop even enjoying things anymore,
and it just becomes you doing ship. Like I've always
heard this rumor about Jamie Fox playing naked basketball with
(37:54):
his friends. Yo, I heard about that too, Yeah, I
didn't hear about it is with his friend, I well, friends, enemies,
I don't know, with potential sexual conquer exactly, but he
like makes them play. Everybody that plays basketball Jamie Fox's
house has to do it naked. And you're not doing
(38:15):
that because that's the best way to play basketball. You're
doing that because your soul is numb in a way
that requires you to need to make something that could
have been fun by itself a level more exciting otherwise
you can't get hard anymore, or you can't play against
the picking roll. So you want to take that, right,
I'm not setting a pick on no man new and
(38:40):
no picks in my game. Take your motherfucking pants off.
Yeah not, We're not playing that Harlem globe trotter. I
like the idea that Jimmie FOXX plays real, like fundamental,
like no flashy bass. Oh he's just straight, straight pull
up shots. He pulls up, just doing the bounce path.
That's for sure. He is fundamentalist ship. But he doesn't
(39:04):
believe in the pick and roll, because that is the
most that's offensive one over here, right, I don't need
you guys playing your urban basketball and Jamie Fox's court.
(39:25):
I don't know I would join. I don't think that.
Here's the thing, Black people have been that rich yet
that we have you think, do you think that happens,
like even if you're the first person in your family
to get rich, to get that well, I don't know.
I think I think to your point, it probably requires
generational wealth. And I do think that part of my
(39:47):
fear is that if you don't join your they'll cut
you off from generational wealth. That like this is and
either you're with us or against us kind of vibe.
So you get the offer, you don't get to know
that they exist and then just go about your day.
They're offering it to you because like either get down
or lay down type ship, you know what I mean,
(40:08):
the state property exactly. It's just like that's just why
I watched that movie. We're gonna take another break and
we'll be back with more mamma told me, and we're back.
(40:39):
I'm gonna kill you. Give me two, all right, We're
back here with more of my mama told me and more.
David boy, we are talking Black Illuminati. We're digging deep
into whether or not we would commit ourselves in the
Black Illuminati, and whether or not the Black Illuminati would
kill us if we don't. Yeah, that's the real question.
(41:00):
I don't think they'd kill you. I don't think they'd
kill you. I think you're right though, you're gonna be
the best. The best your kid's gonna do is like
Hunter kyear tops, right, which in today's economy is uh,
it's not enough. Yeah, and imagine tomorrow's economy, right. You
(41:20):
got to plan for the future, your father, Now, Yeah,
that's fair. I've been eating all these walnuts and my father. Now, yeah, yeah,
you're potent, man, you gotta pass that on. I would join.
I think I would join, man, I think I would join.
Do you have any Do you have any fears about joining?
Is there anything that that you're particularly afraid might happen
(41:40):
if you joined? I worry that I would do some
ship and get kicked out. Oh, that you'd be like
the bad boy of the Black Illuminati. Bad boy is
not maybe the term I was thinking. No, you'd be
like a j You'd be the one that wears the hat.
And yeah, I'd be the one who got drunk a lot,
(42:03):
is what I mean. Like, I'd be so uncouth that
they'd be like, come on, man, well you can't be
in the Black Illuminati. Andy hot Dogs from Costco. Like,
you have to pick right. You have to upgrade your
life in a way that that matches the lifestyle of
your of your your Tessa Thompson's Oh did she make it?
(42:24):
I would assume so she's in everything. Now, Yeah, that's true.
If you're in everything, If you're in everything, you made it.
Janelle Mone she's got to be in the blacks. She
talks about free thinking too. Yeah, a lot, a lot,
like more than you would think a person who thinks freely.
Does You know who I think wants to be in
the Black Illuminati and it drove him crazy that they
(42:45):
wouldn't let him in is Terrence Howard. Because he's a
he's a liability. He's too much of a liability. He's
a he's crazy math. Come over here with new math
talking about flowers. You know, he thought Empire was a documentary.
He doesn't even know that it's filmed. There's no way
(43:09):
that you let Terrence Howard. And because he gets a vote,
he gets an equal vote like other members. I think,
if anything, they are the ones who canceled them. Like, okay,
track with me on this. I'm following. Go ahead, Jesse
Smollett ship, you set that up? Okay? Why was that
(43:30):
a thing? Right? He was doing fine, Jesse, Jesse was
doing great. He was it was only going to get
better for him, it was only going to get better.
He's you think he's handsome. He was sexually neutral in
a way that allowed him to flow freely between spaces
and ship. He could kiss anybody on anybody, anybody. I
(43:51):
think the Black Illuminati takes him out as a message
to Terence Howard, get off our nuts. This is what
we did to your friend. We don't even care about it.
You can see what we'll do to your son. We
don't get a funk about you. Give a funk about you.
This was them sending a baby finger. That's what it was.
Just smaller is the horsehead in the bed. That's just like,
(44:15):
get your ship together, clean up, or we'll comfort with
doing interviews. I think that's why it was only that
g Q interview the Quincy Jones did, and then they
were like no more, right, because Slacy Jones exposed a
lot of ship. He said, who killed Kennedy? Yeah? Remember that? Yeah?
And everybody forgot because he was like, I was the
(44:36):
Richard Pryor used to fuck Harry Belafonte or whoever he was,
Marlon Brando, and it was like, oh, I guess we're
gonna focus on that one because that seems wilder. That
was what. But he never talked like that again. Right,
it was just that interview and he was like on
like some comeback ship, like no, this is a new Quincy,
(44:56):
like this is what it is now, this is a
new I'm checking me out, I'm telling secrets and then
it was just done. It was just that one article
and then nothing else ever happened, And like, how else
do you what else happened? Then with with Quincy? He
shut the funk up. That's what I'm who did that.
(45:17):
John Legend maybe Legends, definitely in the black. He might
be second generation. I don't know. If I don't know
the Legend family like that, sure is his name Legend
for real? I don't know. I honestly have no idea.
I'm gonna say yes, just because it's more fun to
(45:38):
believe that John Legend is a real human being and
that he didn't just make this up for his own
ships and giggles and whatnot. Oh no, it says his
name is John Roger Stephens. That's lame, because of course
his name is not John Legend. That's crazy. But imagine
the hubrists to name yourself legend because he had already
(46:00):
he had already been tapped by that black illuminis. That's
what I'm saying. He was friends with Kanye. Kanye was
friends with jay Z. They saw the talent, they saw
the potential generational wealth. He doesn't hit me as a
guy who grew up in like the hood was struggling
for for money. So I don't think he's ever struggled.
He's never struggled. He married a beautiful Asian model. He
(46:22):
also dog. You think he got Chrissie Teagan, that's a gift.
Bro brok like yo, you don't like they made her
in a lab before him in Like, find me a
picture of christ Teagan before could find it. I'll shut
the funk up now, I'll go home, don't go further
(46:46):
into your house. Yeah, I'll take my shoes upstairs and
of Christian before I can't find it, and I'm not
gonna look for it. That's what I'm saying. They set
up all these booby traps. That's why people fall off.
Birdman was supposed to get a billion dollars, right, they
can't have that. They and it's because what what did
(47:08):
Birdman do that blew him from this position? Because that's
what I hear you, and I agree with you. I
think that the Illuminati is making clear decisions about who
they want to be winning and who they want to
be losing. Neo was doing fucking great for a man time,
and then at some point they exposed that he was
(47:30):
bald on accident and that he wasn't the talent that
they wanted him to be, and they blew up his
whole spot. I can't pinpoint. I I just don't know
how to pinpoint where these these choices are coming from. Well,
that's because we're not in the crew. We don't there's
so many allegiances and you don't know. I'm just saying
all I'm saying. Quincy Jones said, Tevin Campbell is one
(47:53):
of the most talented artists he's ever worked with. Everybody
says it, baby face said it. Uh, they were playing
them all on every radio. He was in the Fresh Prince.
He was the beautiful young boy and a fresh prince
who got to kiss Ashley before Ashley was a grown up.
He kissed Ashley Banks, and he didn't go on to
(48:14):
make a million dollars. I don't know the numbers, but
who did. Nobody knows Ashley Banks besides bro Come on,
that's crazy. That's like, have you ever heard can we
talk like at nighttime? You ever heard that song in
the dark? There are very few songs in in this
world that don't get old. Like every song sort of
(48:35):
has like an expiration date for your soul, your ears,
whatever it is Can We Talk will last as long
as the statues that they're trying to tear down. It
will last be when this world caves in on itself
and it's swallowed by the son above us. Can We
Talk will be the last song that everyone listens to
(48:57):
as we fall into the apocalypse. Who are you telling, bro?
I think that we should put it on a cassette
tape blasted into space, just so people know that was
something humans did want. This is our greatest contribution. This
is what you put that in, Like Lebron James in
a spaceship tell the world and aliens. Aliens are gonna
(49:20):
hear it and be like, well, this must have been
a god on this planet. They might this man must
have he must have accomplished everything you can accomplish. And
we're like, nah, he had like three hits and then
we made him shut the funk up. Yeah, he had
like a weird little comeback with a goofy movie. But no,
but nobody really associated with him. They just called him
(49:41):
by the character they that's I mean, that's the only
thing that makes sense to me. A lot of people,
a lot there's so many people I think got blocked.
Bochim Woodbine. Yes, hell yeah, talk talk Why didn't that work?
Why didn't that? Are you kidding me? Amazing talent? Talent?
(50:03):
Where is he now? I think I got more Twitter
followers in book. I don't even do anything, bro, I
could barely read. Are you where is Woodbine? And why
isn't he being welcomed back into the Black Illuminati because
he ran a foul of someone? Right? God, you're making
sense to me, man. This is hitting me and all
the sweet spots that I like to be hit. I'm
(50:25):
telling you, man, if it don't make dollars, you know
what I mean? Like? And that's the other thing about
the Illuminati is I feel like they pluck. You don't
have to be good, you just have to be willing, right.
That is something we've seen historically. They let you funk up.
We've seen some of the most elite of the people
who we all agree or fucking Illuminati members just do horrendous.
(50:47):
Kanye West is constantly fumbling a bag. Terry Crews cannot
hold onto a bag. For for dear life. I haven't
trusted him ever. Sure. I don't like I don't like
muscles that have wrinkles in them, that bothers me. Nope, nope, no,
right that one fucking tell me. Also that whole headship,
(51:12):
his whole headships? Are those tis sweet? Are they not sweet?
I can't tell because they got all these ridges that
I you look like you look like a ruffles chip,
and I don't like he looks like a crumpled bag
of Doritos. You look like you were not sold this way,
(51:32):
And I don't care for it, and I wanna we
gotta fix it. No, you can't trust him, but he's
still here, you know what I mean? Well, Smith, how
many albums after he was bad at rapping and put
out style, he made the Miami video. He made that
whole video, and then he somehow figured out a way
to make us listen to his son be just okay,
(51:54):
It's stuff. And then he made us listen to his
daughter be just okay, It's stuff. And now somehow they
they've elevated themselves to being good at the thing that
they used to be just okay at. It feels like manipulation.
Jade has got to come to bring herself to the
red table. Now she's gonna admit that she's been having
sex with a young boy and all why Will Smith
(52:17):
was reading scripts that aren't gonna work out, but he
still is rich. That's what I'm saying that all this
being said, watch me on this joke up and here
on Quimby. It's a stand up show starring Will Smith
and myself. We got to hang out. I'm doing some
good bits. Some he did welcome me into the Black Illuminati. Yeah,
like we hung out in Vegas for a weekend. It
(52:38):
was pretty cool. He's got a drone. He said, if
I bought some new clothes and cleaned up my act,
I might be able to hang out more often. But yeah,
I didn't believe it. The point is you can funk up.
You can funk up, you just can't like you can't
not be with them. And I think if anything, bochim
Woodbine was just he was too strong. I think there's
a moment and even we're going down the boking Woodbine train.
(53:03):
Alan Payne, hey, that was a dude. He America couldn't
get enough of Alan Paine. And now he's doing Tyler
Perry like sideshows Doug beautiful, strong, great voice voice. He
did comedy, he did drama, He did it all well.
(53:23):
He did all that wasn't he in Eve's Byou? He was?
He was No, not Eve's by You? He was in
Jason's lyric ly they both were in Bayou's. I think
it was. It was a lot of them standing by
swamps with secrets. Yeah, and I feel like a blue
tint on the Yeah. But anyways, Alan Payne, Yeah, there's
(53:48):
no reason, there's no reason, not at all. He should
be on this show next week. I hope he does it.
I'm gonna ask. I bet he's available. I got a
good failing, we'll get out of pain. I had another
game plan, but I actually think that this is a
more interesting game to play with. You. You host a
very fun podcast called All Fantasy Everything. You guys draft
(54:10):
stuff in your podcast. Who are your favorite Black Illuminati
members or who do you think, more importantly are the
most powerful members of the Black Illuminati? Okay, so there
are two things for me, right sure? Because first of all,
much like a lot of black issues, there is colorism
in the blacks. Right, So, who are my dark skinned
(54:33):
Black Illuminati heroes? Here we go? I like to think
there's like a dark skinned hit squad, much like the Gestapo,
like a Black Illuminati, dark skinned you got the faces,
but then you got the money and uh yeah, I
got you. And also these are like the hitters, like
this is like like who who's gonna be? Who's gonna
(54:54):
be in the trailer after Terence Howard? Does it take?
And to be like no, you're still out, Like that's
what I'm talking about. That's hard man. Yeah, because now
I'm just going over my rollodex. And many of these black,
these dark skinned kings are too strong, too strong, too strong.
(55:16):
They were like Wood Harris, No, yeah, Wood Harris, he's
not going for it. I like to think, Jiman Hansu,
that's a good answer, Giaman Hansu. One is in the illuminati.
If we're talking about a gift, when did you and
Comoral Lee Simmons link up? When was that normal conversation?
(55:37):
What did he say? What did he get it? You know?
That's trying to do that. Don't leave me challenge to
get a super seal. That was my next one. That's
the gift that that's that's a gift where somebody was like,
hey man, thank you for your contributions. We we sent
Hatty cloone to your house. And he doesn't even seemed
(56:00):
particularly charming. No, honestly, he seems very dry. Yes. Also,
I knew this girl who worked at a bank out
in the Palisades. She's, man, I'm gonna get I hope
this never comes out. She said that Seal would just
come in like every few weeks with a twenty thousand
(56:21):
dollar check that he would cash cash in person. Oh,
he'd take it straight to cash, straight to cash. Jesus
Christ from different Yes, So what a weirdo? What an
Illuminati hitter? Right? And what arrogance your Seal? You have
an assistant? Also, you don't have a bank account, Bro,
(56:42):
he's gotta cash it. There's there's gotta be a baby
Seal you can send to to go do this work
for you. Is there a baby Seal? Oh? Seals steals got.
I think he has babies with Heidi Cloone. I'm almost
pretty sure that they had kids together. Good for him, man, Yeah,
for him. I'd like to think what's his name, Brian Tyree, Oh,
(57:05):
Brian Tyre Henry. Yeah, I think that he could be.
I think he could be in there. He seems like
he's he was recently initiated. Yeah, same with Daniel oh
Kalua Daniel Klua, I think recently initiated. I think a
telltale sign of people suddenly being in the Illuminati is
(57:28):
how often we see them and ship. Yeah, especially when
you went from never seeing him. Yes, it doesn't make
sense a lot where you're like, how did the guy
from the reboot of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventurers get
a Spike Lee movie? Right? What do you know? What?
I mean, what are you doing in the Joker movie? Why?
Why are you here? Yeah? How are you there? Paul?
(57:50):
And now you're in the Malcolm X reboot, the SAMs
SAMs fishy. I don't know about it. I don't know
about it. I'm trying to think what was that? Three?
I mean one more? I think like that's why it
was so late, her kind of ascension to where she's
been acting her ass off forever for once he finally
(58:12):
got down and then, uh, who's the last one? Oh?
I don't know, but I would hope that Grace Jones
had made it in somehow. Oh that's nice. Yeah, I
just really like that energy. Yeah. I don't think that
we often consider the people who are no longer hot
names or with us and all that. I think it's
mostly that I think it's mostly that. Sure, you're only
(58:35):
white hot for so long, but you're Illuminati money forever. Ride.
As long as you commit and you stay committed, you
can stay in the Illuminati forever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you don't. You don't get kicked out. I don't think
many people ever got kicked out. Well, that gives me
great comfort to know that strange A is forever and
always going to be protected by the Illuminati. Well, this
(59:01):
has been great. I've had a great time. We've learned
a lot, we've explored a lot, we've made up a lot.
We'll probably get sued, but it's exciting and I had
a great time. David, can you tell the people at
home where they can find you? Oh yeah, my Twitter
is at the Gus Silent. I'm not really on Twitter anymore,
the cool guy jokes Sadie seven All Fantasy Everything Podcast,
(59:23):
Watch my special and then, uh, you know Will Smith
don't cancel me. Yeah, his special is great and he
took one of the funniest videos with Will Smith of
all time. Would hijack It's very funny. Well, this has
been another episode of my Mama told me. I'm Langston Kerman.
(59:43):
You can find me at Langston Kerman on all the
twitters and the Instagrams, and that's pretty much it. Thank
you all for listening. Good night, okolmayers are racist. He
(01:00:05):
also players for mostly money versions of men Altney stuffering.
I can't tell me about my
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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