August 7, 2025 • 57 mins
Hey, hey lil mommas here's another classic - do Brazilian butt lifts smell? Langston and David discuss this conspiracy theory and how it impacts all walks of life in the Lil' Momma community. Where would this idea come from? Is it seeded in society's hatred towards women? Or could it be poor post-surgery hygiene? Langston and David brainstorm an ethical strip club and how it would fail immediately. We also learn that "blue" is not a flavor.
SEND US YOUR BLACK CONSPIRACY THEORIES AND DROPS TO: mymommapod@gmail.com
LEAVE US A VOICE MESSAGE AT 844-LIL-MOMS (844-545-6667)
LANGSTON KERMAN'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "BAD POETRY" IS OUT NOW ON NETFLIX
DAVID GBORIE'S STAND-UP SPECIAL "GBIRTH OF A NATION" OUT NOW ON PATREON
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/mymommatoldmepod/
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm1wMf8iYG-imuTwqje2PNg
TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@mymommatoldmepod?lang=en
MY MOMMA TOLD ME MERCH IS NOW AVAILABLE! Visit https://mymommatoldme.merchtable.com/
FOLLOW LANGSTON KERMAN ON ALL PLATFORMS: @langstonkerman
FOLLOW DAVID GBORIE ON INSTAGRAM: @coolguyjokes87
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
The way she said it was so casual, like drinking
blue stuff. Huh, it's like all right.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now, was assuring you in the mirror with just a
blue mustache, being like, dave me, you're sick.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You swear you would stop. I just punched the mirror.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
You're bleeding blue. You just hear your girl backing up
in the front.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I'm leaving you, you pieza.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Ship, leave me, Leave me with my blue drinks. I go, dad,
who needs you? All right? Tell her to listen to
this episode.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Chimps in your na.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Bears are racists, money.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Turkey stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
You're once, twice, three times a lady. There it is there.
It is ladies and gentlemen, gentiles and little mama's alike.
Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And we've and we finally worked to prove that everybody's
always talking about Beyonce's fine ass cousins, but ain't nobody
talking about Beyonce's fine ass uncles.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That bitch got.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
The most beautiful uncles that's ever walked this planet Earth.
And they're hiding the uncles from us because they don't
want the patriarchy to flip, making men be overly sexualized
and women to gain the real power in the fucking country.
This is all the big rooms. I'd say, let's go
gorgeous beyond say uncles and cousins.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
She got hashtag bring back our boy.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Bring back our boys.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm like stink Kern, I'm David boy and uh, we
have something to talk about. I just that hashtag just
realized it made me. I do want to bring this up.
We didn't even talk about this pre but this has
come up in my recent life. Yeah, remember how fast
that hashtag black boy joy got smashed smashed? It never
(02:42):
took off. Nobody wanted it. We didn't get any time
with it.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
No, we didn't get a lot of time with it.
I will say I never felt confident posting it. I
would have felt too. I think I would have felt
deeply embarrassed the idea of, you know, showing myself happy
and putting hashtag black boy joy under it. So I
can't be the best advocate because I was too much
(03:08):
of a coward to even fully invest.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Here's what I'm saying, that's the problem brother, Why don't
you feel confident sharing your joy with the world. Of
all the trash we spew on social media, you feel
comfortable being like, here's me with the snow cone, enjoying
my day, or whatever you do to make you happy.
It's not the activities.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
At the point, I'm not so much laughing at your
choice of it being a snow cone and more laughing
at the idea of that being the thing where I'm like,
finally I can express myself to the world. Finally the
world can see what my happiness really looks like. It's
me away from my family eating a snow cone.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Hey, a low bar is easy to walk over, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I feel it. I definitely feel it. I did you
did you ever? Were you ever helping to promote black
Boy Joe.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
That's what happened. That's what we were talking about. Is
I also was a pussy and did not but I
liked the I did like the spirit of it. I
did appreciate the spirit of it. I think maybe it
felt coded in that it was buoyed up and that
wasn't great. But the idea of a hashtag for black
(04:27):
dudes being happy, Yeah, I was for that.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I think. I think the unfortunate part of the job
that we do is that it creates a natural cynicism
that the beautiful people who listen to us never have
to fully live with. They can dip in and out of,
like whatever this game is that we're playing, like, the
reality is like I'm never gonna get to enjoy hashtags.
(04:53):
I'm never gonna get to enjoy sort of like even
the most like joyous moments that like we all electively
stand behind and cheer, Yes, finally, justice or happiness or
whatever it is, there's a part of my brain that's
constantly trying to think of bits and critique it and
make it worse than it is.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh, that's my problem with trends. I feel like I
miss out on so many great trends because listen, everything
is stupid besides four things. Yeah, that's real, that's real.
There's like four things that aren't stupid. Everything else is stupid,
and then.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
The window for them not being stupid is so small.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Tiny, tiny, And the problem with getting good at this
job is even the good stuff, you're a big.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Stupid Yeah, no, you'll find a way.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You can fuck it. You're gonna fuck that shit up.
And like and I and I take that burden on
for you.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, yeah, you remember when and and it had a
hot like fucking six months where everybody was going and
getting the serious photos taken, but were doing them silly awesome.
It was so funny, so funny. I love that regular
people were like being adventurous and silly and trying things
(06:11):
outside of the scope of what they would normally want
to do in their instinct. All of it was beautiful.
And there was something in me, the deep ugly hater
in me was always like, Nigga, that ain't funny. Yeah,
you don't even know what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I've wanted to get glamour shots with the homies many time.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It's so cool. It's so fun really cool. It becomes popular.
You can't, bro.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Last year, I was thinking it would be funny if
we somehow got addresses and we sent out a Christmas
card with Sears glamour shots. And I didn't bring it
up because it's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Bro. I think that's so funny, and I wish so funny.
I wish either of us had the capacity to be
able to to be that.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And you know what, you want to know what the
fits were in my head.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Oh go crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're sitting down, red turtleneck, okay, festive Christmas vest I'm
standing behind you, hand on your shoulder. It goes further. Yeah, listen,
green turtleneck, one of those reindeer. Hey, okay, from our
(07:29):
family to yours. It would have gone crazy. The grete
would go. I'd like it.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
If we wrote like kind of a long message on it,
you know what I mean, like what we've been doing too.
How all those cards they kind of have like where
they really take the season serious and they're gonna teach
you a little bit of a you know, the these
complicated times were really here at the Mamma Told Me podcast, Cherish.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I wanted to be a full recap like it's been.
It's been a great season in our house. Olivia's been
getting into banking, license, discovered purposes a form of exercising.
David boyt a bicycle.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I can't even bro this is how fucked up I am.
I can't even dress up for real, No, that's real.
I can dress up like for a wedding or something
that's fine, but like a costume party, Halloween all that.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I can't even my every single year. My wife before
the child was here, and now my wife, especially after
our child is here, is constantly trying to get us
to do joint costumes that like, somehow we wear all
the same thing and what a cute thing to do.
It is endurable, and I destroy it every time, every time.
(09:03):
And now the only negotiation I've been willing to make,
and this is one hundred percent true, is that I
told her I will do a joint costume with you
and our child. So long as I get to dress
up as something that kills or imprisons you, I will
(09:24):
do it.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Like they have to be the horses and you're a
trainer or something.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah, I have to be something sort of like not
completely on board with whatever they are in order to
do the joint costume.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Bro, I hate it. I wish I had, because I
feel you I did. Do you remember when we all
did that the Black Show for Comedy Central?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, New Negroes, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
You remember that. On my night afterwards, we took a
picture and if you remember, that was right around when
Black Panther came out, and everybody in the picture was like,
do the Wakanda forever? And I did it with middle fingers. Hell. Yeah,
but it's just because I can't have anything nice.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, I've never done that. That thing, the egg Ship,
I've never done that sincerely once.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
It sucks. It stinks, but I want to like it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I I was happy that people were happy, Like I
saw all those those pictures of people showing up to
theaters dressed like Halee Selassie and fucking doing the Wakanda foreverthing,
and I was like, yeah, that's hell, Yeah, that's good.
But in the back of my mind, I was like,
(10:40):
you're fucking losers. Yeah I was, and I'm making fun
of you. I was mad, you have you have big,
big issues with uh, with that that franchise.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I would say, I don't want to I don't want
to be like this, Sure, I would rather not. I
just man, it's not even a real country.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Bro. It's also not that good a movie. But hey, hey, hey,
where where's a family restaurant?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And if you want to hear my thoughts on Wakanda Forever,
go to patreon dot com back slash David Borie purchase
my special Birth of a Nation a little bit about it.
I also have a bit with a hook about hooking
up with an African woman.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Oh nice, I never did it as a result of
African filmography.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
It was more, to be honest, it almost felt like
in spite of because I was really taking the date
in the car. Uh, I was just because I was
so angry about it.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Oh, you were shitting on a thing that she enjoyed
to the point that you almost fumbled beautiful damn.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Exactly because I was like, you're not You're not pissed.
And she was from Sierra Leone too, so I should
have been minding my because it was like, this.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Was supposed to be your wife and you you really
you really fucked that up.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Yeah, damn, two women. I fumbled the bag with heartbreaking
I know my mom.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I mean, if I had talked to her about stuff
like that, she would be upset.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
But no clue.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Great, yeah, you gotta have one that you've taken out
in the daytime for a while.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
But we we we can't dilly or dally any any
further on this, we we and isaay we But mostly
I I came across a conspiracy that that I I
guess it's easiest to just share the story of how
(12:54):
this happened. A few weeks ago, I was in a uber.
I got in an uber I think I was in
Atlanta at the time, and the driver was already playing
a YouTube video over the speakers very loudly. He showed
no evidence of being concerned whether or not I would
enjoy said YouTube video. It was just it was on.
(13:17):
As I got in, I said hello. He may not
have spoken back. I truly don't know, because of how
loud the video was playing, But either way, I got
in this uber and the man driving was watching a
YouTube video where two podcasters were arguing about whether or
not bbl's stink, whether or not there is a stench
(13:41):
associated with bbls, and on one gentleman chefore direct myself.
One gentleman was pro and one gentleman was con and
I'll let you decide which is which in the case
of stinky bbls. But they were arguing very intensely about it,
and and I never really could make sense of it.
(14:04):
And I thought, what a perfect conversation to bring back
to my man from the Congo, so that we can
we can unpack this thing together.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I love it because I mean, okay, so first of all,
I think we start here. Have you ever dealt with
the BBL personally.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I have felt some, but I have never.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Same.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I never I've never had the pleasure. I've talked about
this before on the podcast. I met my wife immediately
after filming Insecure and have remained faithful the entire time.
So a lot of the a lot of the beautiful
things that I could have had access to, I have not,
and that is my burden to bear and I continue
(14:50):
to bear it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
That's like you missed the whole technology, you know what
I mean. It's like you got married to the Nokia.
You know, the iPhone was recording.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, and I keep being like, yeah, but the battery
life is better, and everybody's like, I guess, bro.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah yeah, You're like no, I really just love playing sneak.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So neither of us have ever smashed the BBL.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Never got behind it in a meaningful way.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Damn no.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And now I feel it could happen. It's not like
a bucket list thing or anything. I got you.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It's just it's a possibility still for you. And that
gives me out. If that makes you feel anything.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Thank you. I mean, I will say and this is
I know this is gonna sound crazy. Yeah, and and listen,
I'm not. I'm not gonna I love ass. Sometimes they
look crazy that the bbls. Yeah, sometimes it's like really
like nuts.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
A lot of times not, I wouldn't. I'm not gonna
say most because I've seen some spectacular ones. I know
some fun folks who have gotten them and they look great.
But there there are quite a few bbls that are
stopping traffic for the wrong reasons right, truly devastating work
has been done to what otherwise could have been pretty gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
When that's I mean I seen one of LaGuardia one
time and I was just like, just the nature that
you got one and then you're still working at LaGuardia
probably means it was done out of the country and
it's just like just the legs to butt ratio was
so crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, that's the That's when it's the worst is here's
when them legs be little and that butt be big, Like,
oh no, this is a tragedy.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You got a little booty and that's cool because I mean,
I love those. All this shit, I also I hate this.
All this shit is for social media. If you like,
any person who has some type of a type where
they're like I can't have anything else, But I am
inclined to not believe you.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Not only do I not believe you, I also don't
believe you've had sex with that many people when you're
that picky about the shit, right, Like.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
You don't think anybody with the little asses doing stuff
you like that's crazy?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah, and like part of not and this isn't a
pride statement, but it is a fact when part of
getting numbers up is taking up numbers as they come.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You know what I mean, everybody shoots ugly shouts.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
You gotta be lucy and and ethol fucking putting chocolates
in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Oh yeah, discerning. I'm just trying to get full, uh
good food.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
This is a chili's baby, what you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It is like the difference is like that's for all
it is. It is it does speak to like materialism
type thing I think where it's like that is a
lot for other people, right, because it's like if you're
being that being said, I mean, when like a woman
is a size queen, I do think the effects are different.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Does that make me say more?
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I think the difference between a small penis and a
large penis is a greater distance between the difference between
a small booty and a big booty.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Mmmm, meaning the results for or the experience for the
person and like realized pleasure. Oh yeah, I could see that,
although I will say that, uh that the difference between
like wanting you know, a nine inch hog and and you.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Know, relax.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
What I call nine inches that's gotta be a hul.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I don't like you. I don't like you in the
outside house. I feel like you need to visually start
recording back near your wife and child.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Guess what I could say, hug as much as I
want out.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Here in the back house called crazy.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
In the house, I got a three hog limit.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
But.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Hug hog hog hog hog.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
But what I'm saying is like the difference between somebody
desiring nine inches of meat versus like somebody who's showing
up with you know, whatever standard is. The five and
a half to seven scenario of it all is not
you're not doing that person a disservice. You're just knocking
(19:48):
against their their preference, right. But if you're showing up
with a micro penis, now we got a different conversations.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
That's just what I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah, at the hog thing, so I neither of us
have really had true experiences with bbl's. But I will
say that I've been around enough women with bbls that
I've never it's never once, uh felt like there was
an odor protruding through there.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
That's what I was gonna say too, and I uh
uh not too.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Take your time, don't let it scare you. You'll get
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
The ones that I have been around, Yeah, the ones
that I've been the closest to, I've been like you
know or whatever. The ones I've been the closest to
are in a strip club. And that is where if
I was gonna get a whiff or something, that's where
it would that would be the situation.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yeah, I've been around nude bbls. It's not there's never
been a state.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
That's Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's I just didn't
want to make it. I'm not intrugle all the time.
But no, but you know, were you there that night
that a bunch of us went You weren't there?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
No? I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
When you go this is a like before I left
from LA But it was like and it's Jack was
sts like Sam Jack and a bunch of Jordan was
there A bunch of people were there because I remember
it was right after I got the Comedy Central job
and dearly departed Jack whispered in my ear. He was like,
I know you got that Comedy Central job. If you
spend less than a thousand dollars tonight, I'm telling everybody
(21:32):
like whispered did to me.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
At Oh you mean like a psychopath. Yeah, you mean
the way a crazy person. Yeah, you mean the way
crazy child would force you to spend money you haven't
(21:58):
made yet. In Los Angeles' notoriously bad strip clubs, bro
we were at.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Deja Boo and then they ran out of money. Whoa.
And then they ran out of money, like the ATM
wasn't working and we had to go to another one.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
The facility ran out of them.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
The facility ran out of money, and not like in
a cool way, you know, like like three of us
tried to get three hundred dollars. And then the funniest
part was I remember Sam got on the chair and said,
I'm sorry strippers were leaving. This is their fault. They
did not put They didn't put you in a position
to win.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Oh man, I didn't push you in a position to win.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It's such a.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Like they're gonna have a conference afterwards. Now we as
a as an organized they can better strategize towards the championship.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I mean, do strippers have shift meetings?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I would hope so. I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I you don't think they have a round up like
I think.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
The unfortunate thing with strip clubs is that, uh is
that it's literally capitalism in your fucking face, and so
it encourages probably an individualism that isn't uh necessarily good
for the community as a whole, you know what I mean,
Like those strippers should be talking to each other and
unionizing and ship But.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Man, a dream of mine has always been to run
an ethical strip club.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, no, it sounds it sounds cool. It does sound
like the respectfully the pussy would be trash. But respectfully,
I hope that you you have a vision that somehow
can can move fast.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
That why okay, because this is I had a long
argument in a strip club with a friend about that. Yeah,
why do you think? Because he was like the same thing.
He's like, nah, you gotta loosely something along the lines of,
now you gotta be able to keep these hoes in check.
I think if everybody I think, I don't know, I
just maybe I see this is like my version of communism.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
I And again, I'm not rooting against you. I just
think part of what makes a strip club attractive to
strip club guys, right, and that is the industry that
maintains strip clubs is like the motherfuckers who truly love
that shit Tuesday. Part of what they need is sort
(24:38):
of a chance for this to go further than it's
supposed to go. Do you know what I mean? Like
they need to be able to like I bet, I
bet if I tip her enough, I could stick my
thumb in her butt, or like I bet if you know,
if I tell her enough stories, maybe I can get
some head in the back room. It's all the icky
(25:00):
shit that makes this thing not actually ethical. And as
soon as you lay it out on the table being
like we're ethical, we ain't never gonna have none of
that ship. Motherfucker is gonna be like, I don't want
to be here, and then the bad bitches are gonna
go where the money is.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
But in the world that I'm trying to set up
is like, but what if we lower the bar like
I want it to be a place of celebration more
than it's allowed to be there. I want to take
all the CDs about it, so me and you could
just be like, hey, we're gonna have a business meeting
strip club. Mm hmm. You know, I want to open
it up. But I see what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I like what you're saying, but I'm saying that that
business men are vile and they want vile shit. They yeah,
And I think, Frank, the model is not broken. The
models broken, and that's right now. Why am I choosing
you over over the place where I get to do
(25:59):
the most vile shit and see the light leave these ladies' eyes.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
You know, I think we bring in really high class chefs.
What was that was that restaurant we went to New York?
You remember where they had the Douce cocktails. Oh damn,
imagine that with big ass everywhere.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
No, I get it, and look, one of one of
my dreams. While we're talking about stripper club dreams, one
of my dreams for my birthday or no, it was
for my bachelor party. This is what I asked for,
and I think we were gonna have it, but it
ended up getting We were going to New Orleans and
It ended up fucking having a hurricane that weekend and
(26:45):
so I had to cancel the bachelor party and never
really happened. But my ask was I wanted to do
stripper karaoke I wanted to do I got a karaoke
with just bad bitches naked and joined the karaoke dancing.
They could do some karaoke too. We just all hanging
out doing karaoke with Babbage.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Liston if we do a live. My mama told me
in Portland, I know a place we can go do that.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I want to do that so bad. We get It's.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Very fun, it is a good time.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
It's great. That's in my head is fucking awesome and
I can't. I desperately want to do it, So please
Portland hook it up that my mama told me, comes
there this year because.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, Devil's point. Tell the girls were coming, Tell the girls,
Tell the girls. I always wanted to be that guy,
Oh David's in the house. I went to a strip
club with a person who will not be named, and
we went to a Mexican one and he got a
shout out and it was out to the table from
the DJ, like we were at the table and the
(27:49):
DJ was like shout.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Okay, and I'm we have to throw to a break,
but before we do, I want to know was this
person being shouted out because of fame or being shouted
out because they are a frequent fang fang. Yeah, it's
sad if they're getting shouted out because he's.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Well, no, because I also okay, we do have to go.
But I also will say I for a couple of
years in San Francisco, I would do this strip club's
carry their their holiday party. I would perform at their
holiday party and it would always be just the strippers,
their boyfriends and then the hardcore regulars and that was
the party. And then but the comics would get on
(28:38):
stage and we would tell jokes and the girls would
throw money at us. And then they had crazy buffet
also really really good.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Were they good, good laughers.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Good laughers, good tippers, smoked us up a gang o
week it was And then the food was so good.
It was one of the best gigs I e. It
was like a gig. I was sad when I left
San Francisco and I had to give it up.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah it was. And you made way more money because
like if you made a dirty joke.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Like that's that's that's what we do, all.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Right, Yeah, oh yeah, this one the lady. There was
a lady who would do it with me too sometimes,
also not to be named. She would strip a little
bit and she made a gang of money. I didn't have,
quite frankly, the confidence in my body at that point.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
No, that's fair. I wouldn't take my shirt off now,
and there might be money for it, but I know
I can't take the risk. I can't take the possibility
of somebody being like, damn, look at his nipples.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Then I'm like, I was not gonna. I was not
gonna say nipples because I knew that you are sensitive
about it, that you would hurt. There you go, big nipples,
you look like.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And then I'm just on stage getting mad for real.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Get him out of hair, Get him out of hair.
This is supposed to be body positive.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Get him out of hair. I was told this was
a kind strip club.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Oh all right, we need to take it for it.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
We're gonna be back with more lengths and more David
and more. My mama told me, we said take a
village to raise a child, But what if the village
is retarded?
Speaker 5 (30:44):
Which you think is gonna produce some stank ass bb ls.
LExEN and I are back talking about the possibility of
staking ass Brazilian butlers.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
That's right. I will say that clip on. One of
the things that I didn't enjoyed for the first time
hearing it in my headphones is the rumble that goes
over the crowd when he asked the question. He He's like,
what if the villages? And then and then they go oh,
and some of them are obviously offended, but some are
(31:18):
really thinking about the heavy question he just laid on them.
I okay. So, so neither of us have come across
the stinky BBL. Neither of us certainly feel like we've
I guess have had a conversation with somebody. I know
some people who are currently having sex with BBL subscribers,
(31:38):
and none of them seem to be reporting back that
there's a stench related to these bbls. What does the
internet say? I know you looked it up, so.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
In my can I tell you my tabs are what
is blue Raspberry fruity pebbles with Marshmellows, Beyonce Uncles, BBL
smell Uh Okay, okay, that was from when we first
started talking, though that wasn't just what was on there.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
No, we did. We did have a lengthy conversation about
uh and I don't want to overstep, but you apparently
have a deep addiction.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
To already overstep relax, I said, I got a box
of the ships.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
No, no, no, the blue drinks as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I love you have a nasty little relationship with blue drinks.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
I love blue drinks. My girl called me out at
the movies the other day. I just do, man, I
love a blue drinks. Are you going back to even
the little jugs? You remember the little drugs like the
quarter water joints? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I loved, loved the
blue ones I love. I love blue, raspberry, lemonade, blue,
anything they got that minute made blue blue? Uh yeah,
(32:55):
I love blue to blue drinks. I went to I
Want to Trick Daddy's restaurant a big old blue drink.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Damn is that what it was called?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Don't? I just pointed at the.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Something tells me you got it right on the nose.
For what name says blue drink? Give me and and
blue Please?
Speaker 1 (33:23):
I have a flight to catch.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
You want a large or a double Xail Honey. Yeah,
I liked blue a lot when it because it kind
of got introduced as like the new innovative flavor. Eminem
brought out a new one sour Patch kids, they started
(33:45):
making blue. It all was much later in the game
that you got Blue introduced to the ship. I will
say for the drinks, though, I always knew you had
to cut that a little bit, you know what I mean, Like,
you could do blue, but then you gotta mix that
a little bit with that lemonade.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
You gotta.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, I understand, you got to offset all that blue
because that's that's too much pleasure at one time you
don't want, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Which is crazy because I cut other drinks. I take
my bull on my blue full strength, but I do
cut other drinks. Sometimes I'll cut down. I cut. I
cut a lot of juices with club soda. I do
that pretty common.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah, yeah, no, and it tastes better.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I like a juice with a little fizz.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I'll cut. I'll cut sprite a little bit too.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
If I can encourage you, I think you gotta start
cutting your blue a little bit.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I'm not, I'm not. But here's the thing. This is
what is why it sounds crazy because yes, okay, I
did go see the new Mad Max and I got
a blue icy mixed with Coke icy. But I know
it's not even weakly that I'm taking taking blue. It's
like once a month or several It's like, I'm not
it's not that often.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
There was a time I just worry that when we
talked about this offline. It's the most unnatural of the colors. Yea,
every other color that they assigned to icys and drinks
and shit, they exist in nature. This yellow, this green,
this even this specific red sort of exists in parts
(35:22):
of nature. But that blue that ain't nowhere you go outside.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
No, it's from beyond.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
And I worry about you putting so much from beyond
into your your person, even if it is just once
a month or every.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Other I appreciate that. Yeah, And now that it's been
brought to my attention, I will I'm a crippling.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
So the Internet had thoughts about the stink, the potential
stink of BBLS.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
So the first thing that I found when I googled it,
it's basically says a slight odor. In the first few
days after Brazilian Butler's is normal and can be described
as musty or similar to a damp towel fuddy. I
didn't know musty was a real word.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Oh you thought that was just like uh nigga phrasing
for lack of a better term. Yes, I tried to
think of You heard the boative. Yeah, yeah, I was like, nah, no,
that's correct.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Now you're like, I'm in the back house. I can
say it here, and it says some causes of this
odor include fluid discharge, poor hygiene after defecation, bacteria build
up in sweat, which to me sort of sounds like
the causes of bad odor in general.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, it doesn't sound besides the secretions that they're referring to,
it all sounds pretty backside related, whether flat or big
right wash.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Ass I will I will say Also, if you get
a BBL there should be some barrier entry if it
stinks for a couple of days. I think that's a
fair trade off.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Well, that was my concern when I was listening to
this podcast in the first place, was like they were
having this really impassioned conversation about the stink dangers of
bbls and how it wasn't clear to me how much
of it was whether or not these women stunk because
like they weren't taking care of themselves, or there was
(37:31):
something fundamentally wrong inside of the BBL, or if it
was just that y'all tried to get some booty before
it was finished healing, Like how much of this? I
worry You're fucking an open wound, my man, Like.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
That's not let it settle. She just got back from
the dr. Let her rest.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
She had to sleep backwards on the plane because of
how painful it was. Give her a minute, and you're.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Just trying to punish that day one. Come on, man,
Like I do I do think that? Oh so it
feels like something that probably just Olivia had said this.
It feels like something that just comes with surgery.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, I dog. Sometimes if I have too bad of
a cold, I think I stink more than normal, you
know what I mean, where I'm just like a you
kind of funky man, Like your whole aura is off.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
If I'm on a plane for too long, I feel
like I stink. Yeah, you just feel like shit? Yeah,
plans what I mean? If I go outside for a
long walk, I stink yeah yeah. Yeah. So it's like
the idea. Of course, it's it should stink. Quite frankly,
if it just came out ready to go, I would
trust it even less.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
You gotta let it cook, you.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Gotta let it breathe.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
BBL is like Chitling's the beginning stinky and your mama
makes a bet. But some sick niggas like them?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Are you where do you stand on the whole idea
of bbl's like as a whole, are you pro anti? Indifferent?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I will not go so far as to say I'm
anti because I'm so cool with people doing whatever they
want to do to their person, Like that's not my business,
and I ain't trying to be one of them.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Dudes.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I don't desire that of a person that I'm with.
And a lot of times I like the way women
are shaped as they are enough that like the idea
that it becomes like sort of this manipulated form. It
doesn't hit the same, you know what I mean. It's
(39:56):
like almost two perfect too, where you're like, that's but
then you know.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
That's not beauty to me. Yeah, perfection is not what
I'm seeking in another person, just beauty in the world
in general.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
I like the little holes in your button Yeah, dense, yeah, Nixon.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah. And I have a hard time with elective surgery
in general. I think coming from a place where surgery
is difficult, it feels like the resources to make you
feel like a better version of yourself feels wasteful to
(40:39):
me sometimes being said, we're here and you can do it.
So I'm like, I'm not trying to down it, but
I think on the whole, it's like, what I love
about people is using their flaws. I love people making
up for deficits. I think it's one thing that makes
(41:01):
humanity great. It makes people it truly interesting and shit
like that. So it feels like sometimes it makes me
sad when people feel like they have to have a
surgery to be themselves. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
And I also we were talking about the trends of
it all earlier, and I also worry about that side
of it, Like all these women who got bbls are
now suddenly taking the like the bbls out, like they're they're,
you know, recarving themselves into sort of like thinner, sleeker
women whatever. And I don't say thin too, you know,
(41:39):
make it that, but that's essentially what's happening, and that
worries me of like, oh, you're doing this because because
the Internet told you to. That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
That's never gonna You're never gonna win that game. Either.
You might for a little bit, but.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
And we don't know how long bbl's uh last, you
know what I mean, Like we ain't we ain't never
seen no old BBL. We have like these bitches might
be dying at fifty five, And so you took all
that from your lifespan just to satiate the likes that
that worries me more than the act itself, motivation and call,
(42:19):
and the actual reasoning for it is more the concern
than the decision.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
I also because I am on the fence about a lot,
because like it is your body good. I should have
no say in what you do physically that makes you
feel good, you know what I mean, as long as
you're not harming others. Really not up to.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Me, No, not at all. But I do worry for
myself about I don't think that I could see myself
with a partner who needed that. I don't know that
to your point that that necessarily is going to match
socially with like my character, because I like to talk shit.
(43:01):
I like to pick out people's insecurities, and I don't
know that you know, I'm going to be able to
like tease you the way that I want to tease
you when when we got this big old secret and
we both like holding on.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
To is do people keep it secret? I feel like
the people that I've known who have had them are
fairly open about it. But is it like some people are?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I think it kind of depends on the community and
class of it all, you know what I mean that? Like,
I think there are some people I know who are
super open about it, and there are some people who
like will never say a word unless somehow it becomes
a very private conversation about what they've had done to themselves.
And so, like the comedy community, I feel like, excuse everything,
(43:56):
right because our whole thing is being too open about shit.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's very true. That's very true. Are
there a lot of comments with bblso I don't know
any Yeah, that's what I was just thinking. I don't.
I don't, but I know it is a hilarious super
comedian to do.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
That'd be hilarious if Chris Rock gets a BBL nigga
already showing us this apps that big old but.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
A three sixty.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Honestly, if Chappelle got a B B L it would
really change this this obsession with trans people in a
very interesting way.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
I'd beat it. If Chappelle's got a big old fake ass,
I'd be like, all right, oh, this nigga's.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Got a lot more wrestling and said then he's been
able to acknowledge so far in these specials. Give him time.
He might he might land on something.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I think we were just scratching the surface.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
A lot of going on these are we're watching the
stages of grief. He's at anger right now. Let's wait
till he gets to acceptance. I got a good feeling
about this.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
But no, yeah, I I it is. It's such a
complicated issue because now that I think about it even
more in my head, it is like even with the
resources things, it's like, that's such an idealist, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah, nobody has.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Yeah, whatever, But but honestly, you know, and this is
part of what cars use cobalt from the DRC where
where we you know?
Speaker 2 (45:36):
That's what I mean, is like part of what what
America does to people, is it tricks you into thinking
you have all the opportunities in the world, and the
reality is we're all going broke spending money on ship.
We don't need it. Just so happens that some people
are are choosing don't need that. They you can physically see,
(45:59):
and some of us start doing it with fucking blue drinks.
Blue drinks and weird couches and shit, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Don't put the drink on the couch though, Hey.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
You better give you a blue away from my couch.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Here here's my big question in the argument. Yep, did
the men did it seem like they did feel like
they were talking out of their ask? Did they seem
no pun intended knock out the side of the next
Did it feel like was their merit or were they
just yelling about women? No?
Speaker 2 (46:33):
These were these were Let me be clear, this was
a podcast of two men who had no educational background
relating to this subject and certainly no real insights. They
were just speaking from not even as much personal experience,
but like a motherfucker told them, who told another motherfucker
(46:56):
that his girl bbl's thing, and they were arguing emotionally
about it.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Okay, because that's also the hard thing is, like all
this stuff seems so rooted in being anti woman.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Yeah, and I do think at the core of it,
it's probably what this BBL stink is.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
Some dirty ass dude would say.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Yeah, it was like, oh, you mean all the two
girls you know who have bbls won't fuck you, and
therefore they must be and you can't figure out a
physical flaw anymore because they've been shaped into perfect So
you're like, yeah, but the they stink their insides are
rotting or.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Whatever because they didn't answer your side eye emoji you
sms at three am.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Right, because they don't reply when you write you show
have grown underneath their fucking Instagram pictures such beautiful eyes
have a nice day. That's the creepiest one.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Man man hot women like bad bitch like comment section.
He's a cesspool.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
It's unbelievable the things that women have to deal with
on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Bro, especially because sometimes it's a dude. You'd be like, well,
it's not all of us, and then you go to
the bad bitch comment section and it is just like, Nope,
that's a school principle that's supposed to work. He has
my father, he said he was at work.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yeah, no, it's fucking nuts dance Solder has a really
funny joke.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
He does have a good bit about the comment.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Section about the comment section and isn't it special? But yeah,
it's it's fucking oh my god, I don't it's it's
insane the things that they've had to deal with and truly,
and it be over stuff that didn't even require that energy.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
Bro, men are so bad at the Internet. I don't
have an answer for it. No, you feel like men,
you're going crazy, and you can be like, yeah, I
don't have I don't have I don't have any defense,
I don't have a solution. I don't have a way out.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
It's one of the things that I've always felt pretty
passionately about as it relates to like my political leanings
and socio political position, is like I'm never gonna defend
men now. I ain't gonna be one of these dudes
that comes out and it's like fuck, men were vile,
Like that's our business. But I'm never once going to
(49:38):
go in some public space and be like men are
getting it wrong or being yeah, like nope, you know,
whatever it is, we probably did it. I can't say
it's all of us, and I'm not gonna take that
kind of responsibility in this But boy, oh boy, is
that probably true.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
It's not great out here.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
It's not great out here, and I know a lot
of people not being great.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
What does that say about me?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
I don't know. That's not my job in this podcast.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
I did rather. I'm just trying to get to tomorrow. Man,
I do.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
All right, We're gonna take one more break. We're gonna
be back with more David, more likes than and more.
My mama told me.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
I got no friend in this village, and I have
no friends with stinky mass bblack all booties good booty
smells delicious. That's not true. That was That was That
was crazy. You're talking crazy.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
We're still talking about the possibility that BBL stink. And
it does seem as if we've both landed on this
being more a product of deep seated hatred for women
than a genuine health concern for the women that have
taken this procedures.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
I think so. I think people don't want to see
a quick come up, or what's perceived as a quick
come up.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah, I guess what I would encourage, And this is
actually inspired by something Olivia sent But what I would
encourage for the men who feel this weird hatred where
you want to go and talk shit about women and
their bodies in a way that doesn't make sense for
your actual lived experience. What I would encourage you to
(51:36):
do is figure out a way to make some money
off of this hatred. Olivia sent us a very smart
idea where she said BBL scented candles, And to me,
that's a big business opportunity for you, the man hating
woman who's looking for a way to both like get
attention but also remind women that they hold no value
(51:57):
in your life.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Yeah, come on, put it right next to your Erica
bad you pussy in.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
Sense which you hate, which you hate, not me.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
I tried. It stows out in like two minutes. It is.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
It's a It's a big profit opportunity. You can serve
a community that actually enjoys whatever these women are. You
know what I mean? Like, if you tell me there's
a BBL sent to candle, I only presume it's a
good smell.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Yeah, yeah, I want my bathroom to smell like that.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
Yeah, I assume it is a fantastic smell.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
I want to have a dinner party and have people
come over and say is that BBL?
Speaker 2 (52:38):
It's your boy pulling you aside? Say, man, I want
to blow up your spot, but it smelled like BBL
in here, And you're like, brother, have I got a
tip for you?
Speaker 1 (52:57):
And it always will?
Speaker 2 (52:58):
My man, you gotta you have to start finding a
way to embrace women, even if it just means a
way of lining your pocket. Stop living your life sort
of deeply hating fifty one the population.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
There's one thing I know is that the bad bitches
don't care.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
They don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
Man about your sticking ass.
Speaker 2 (53:28):
They don't give a fuck about nothing. You ever try
to make eye contact with a bad bitch and she
ain't interest Fortunately, Yes, it don't matter what you do,
coughing and doing a little twist with your body just
to see if she'll look up nothing.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
Have you ever been like out in a sent public
This is this is the most painful bad bitch I
think I've ever had. It's like we were all out.
It was like two groups of people sitting next to
each other in a bar, and then like kind of
my friend's left and her friends left, and I like,
turn it just trying to talk to her in the
look the look on face, man, man, and I wouldn't
(54:14):
even I wouldn't even on it. Like it was just
like we've all been general you know, like when there's
two groups together and music comes on and you pointed
eachanging like.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Yeah, we were communing. We were communing a little bit.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
This was isn't it isn't crazy for me to open
up a line of dialogue.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
This wasn't a cold call, baby girl. We had we
had primed for this.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah, that one, that one I'm remembering her face.
Speaker 2 (54:40):
No, it truly, and I guess it. What what is
upsetting as a man in those moments is not obviously
you have no reason or or you don't owe me anything.
But there were never under any circumstances in the world
where a bab bitch walks in the room that I
don't attempt to make eye contact. Even if she wasn't
(55:06):
you know what I mean, she throws even a glance
over at me. I'm already looking, baby girl, I'm already
closed up for you. I was just waiting for you
to come home.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
Instead, you leave the reaction, just hating yourself. Yeah, just
like I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shock.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
But then on the flip it's like women can just
go through their lives and not notice us. That's that's
to me, sounds crazy, but I think, I think and
half it's it's wild to me because that's not how
I treat y'all. And that's more importantly, I just want
to be treated the way I treat others, and and
y'all don't do that. It's not right.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
It's because they're better than us.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
It's fuck. Well, I think we did it.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
We did. We said a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
Is that a lot of stuff? It was all documented
the podcasts successful. Do you want to tell the people
where they can find you what cool shit you have
going on?
Speaker 1 (56:14):
Yeah? Cool guy joke Citty seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash,
David Bory Birth of a Nation with the g very
funny title.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
That's hell Yeah, follow Bory, subscribe to all this shit
And as always, if you want to follow me, you
can find me at Langston Kerman on all platforms. I'll
be there. I'm waiting and I'll be ready. And if
you want to send us your own drops, your own
conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us that bbls
(56:45):
in fact have a special scent that is better than
a natural booty. Then send it all to mymama pod
at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you.
Give us a call at day four to four Little Moms.
My mama told me dot merch table dot com for
the merch and so just like subscribe, do all the things,
(57:06):
rate review even I don't know if that's an option,
but Reddit thread, do all the stuff that makes that
makes this thing keep kicking. And that's the whole shebang.
Bye bitch.
Speaker 1 (57:20):
How is my man supposed to schmitt his meet with
this ship? Bro? What the fuck?
Speaker 2 (57:29):
The my chips and your.
Speaker 1 (57:35):
Qualit bes are racist? The host layer hosting money turkey stuff,
I can't tell me
The way she said it was so casual, like drinking
blue stuff. Huh, it's like all right.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now, was assuring you in the mirror with just a
blue mustache, being like, dave me, you're sick.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
You swear you would stop. I just punched the mirror.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
You're bleeding blue. You just hear your girl backing up
in the front.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I'm leaving you, you pieza.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Ship, leave me, Leave me with my blue drinks. I go, dad,
who needs you? All right? Tell her to listen to
this episode.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Chimps in your na.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Bears are racists, money.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Turkey stuff.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
I can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
You're once, twice, three times a lady. There it is there.
It is ladies and gentlemen, gentiles and little mama's alike.
Welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And we've and we finally worked to prove that everybody's
always talking about Beyonce's fine ass cousins, but ain't nobody
talking about Beyonce's fine ass uncles.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
That bitch got.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
The most beautiful uncles that's ever walked this planet Earth.
And they're hiding the uncles from us because they don't
want the patriarchy to flip, making men be overly sexualized
and women to gain the real power in the fucking country.
This is all the big rooms. I'd say, let's go
gorgeous beyond say uncles and cousins.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
She got hashtag bring back our boy.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Bring back our boys.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm like stink Kern, I'm David boy and uh, we
have something to talk about. I just that hashtag just
realized it made me. I do want to bring this up.
We didn't even talk about this pre but this has
come up in my recent life. Yeah, remember how fast
that hashtag black boy joy got smashed smashed? It never
(02:42):
took off. Nobody wanted it. We didn't get any time
with it.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
No, we didn't get a lot of time with it.
I will say I never felt confident posting it. I
would have felt too. I think I would have felt
deeply embarrassed the idea of, you know, showing myself happy
and putting hashtag black boy joy under it. So I
can't be the best advocate because I was too much
(03:08):
of a coward to even fully invest.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Here's what I'm saying, that's the problem brother, Why don't
you feel confident sharing your joy with the world. Of
all the trash we spew on social media, you feel
comfortable being like, here's me with the snow cone, enjoying
my day, or whatever you do to make you happy.
It's not the activities.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
At the point, I'm not so much laughing at your
choice of it being a snow cone and more laughing
at the idea of that being the thing where I'm like,
finally I can express myself to the world. Finally the
world can see what my happiness really looks like. It's
me away from my family eating a snow cone.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Hey, a low bar is easy to walk over, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
I feel it. I definitely feel it. I did you
did you ever? Were you ever helping to promote black
Boy Joe.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
That's what happened. That's what we were talking about. Is
I also was a pussy and did not but I
liked the I did like the spirit of it. I
did appreciate the spirit of it. I think maybe it
felt coded in that it was buoyed up and that
wasn't great. But the idea of a hashtag for black
(04:27):
dudes being happy, Yeah, I was for that.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I think. I think the unfortunate part of the job
that we do is that it creates a natural cynicism
that the beautiful people who listen to us never have
to fully live with. They can dip in and out of,
like whatever this game is that we're playing, like, the
reality is like I'm never gonna get to enjoy hashtags.
(04:53):
I'm never gonna get to enjoy sort of like even
the most like joyous moments that like we all electively
stand behind and cheer, Yes, finally, justice or happiness or
whatever it is, there's a part of my brain that's
constantly trying to think of bits and critique it and
make it worse than it is.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Oh, that's my problem with trends. I feel like I
miss out on so many great trends because listen, everything
is stupid besides four things. Yeah, that's real, that's real.
There's like four things that aren't stupid. Everything else is stupid,
and then.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
The window for them not being stupid is so small.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Tiny, tiny, And the problem with getting good at this
job is even the good stuff, you're a big.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Stupid Yeah, no, you'll find a way.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
You can fuck it. You're gonna fuck that shit up.
And like and I and I take that burden on
for you.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, yeah, you remember when and and it had a
hot like fucking six months where everybody was going and
getting the serious photos taken, but were doing them silly awesome.
It was so funny, so funny. I love that regular
people were like being adventurous and silly and trying things
(06:11):
outside of the scope of what they would normally want
to do in their instinct. All of it was beautiful.
And there was something in me, the deep ugly hater
in me was always like, Nigga, that ain't funny. Yeah,
you don't even know what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I've wanted to get glamour shots with the homies many time.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It's so cool. It's so fun really cool. It becomes popular.
You can't, bro.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Last year, I was thinking it would be funny if
we somehow got addresses and we sent out a Christmas
card with Sears glamour shots. And I didn't bring it
up because it's embarrassing.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Bro. I think that's so funny, and I wish so funny.
I wish either of us had the capacity to be
able to to be that.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And you know what, you want to know what the
fits were in my head.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
Oh go crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're sitting down, red turtleneck, okay, festive Christmas vest I'm
standing behind you, hand on your shoulder. It goes further. Yeah, listen,
green turtleneck, one of those reindeer. Hey, okay, from our
(07:29):
family to yours. It would have gone crazy. The grete
would go. I'd like it.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
If we wrote like kind of a long message on it,
you know what I mean, like what we've been doing too.
How all those cards they kind of have like where
they really take the season serious and they're gonna teach
you a little bit of a you know, the these
complicated times were really here at the Mamma Told Me podcast, Cherish.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
I wanted to be a full recap like it's been.
It's been a great season in our house. Olivia's been
getting into banking, license, discovered purposes a form of exercising.
David boyt a bicycle.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I can't even bro this is how fucked up I am.
I can't even dress up for real, No, that's real.
I can dress up like for a wedding or something
that's fine, but like a costume party, Halloween all that.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
I can't even my every single year. My wife before
the child was here, and now my wife, especially after
our child is here, is constantly trying to get us
to do joint costumes that like, somehow we wear all
the same thing and what a cute thing to do.
It is endurable, and I destroy it every time, every time.
(09:03):
And now the only negotiation I've been willing to make,
and this is one hundred percent true, is that I
told her I will do a joint costume with you
and our child. So long as I get to dress
up as something that kills or imprisons you, I will
(09:24):
do it.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Like they have to be the horses and you're a
trainer or something.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
Yeah, I have to be something sort of like not
completely on board with whatever they are in order to
do the joint costume.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Bro, I hate it. I wish I had, because I
feel you I did. Do you remember when we all
did that the Black Show for Comedy Central?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, New Negroes, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
You remember that. On my night afterwards, we took a
picture and if you remember, that was right around when
Black Panther came out, and everybody in the picture was like,
do the Wakanda forever? And I did it with middle fingers. Hell. Yeah,
but it's just because I can't have anything nice.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
No, I've never done that. That thing, the egg Ship,
I've never done that sincerely once.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
It sucks. It stinks, but I want to like it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I I was happy that people were happy, Like I
saw all those those pictures of people showing up to
theaters dressed like Halee Selassie and fucking doing the Wakanda foreverthing,
and I was like, yeah, that's hell, Yeah, that's good.
But in the back of my mind, I was like,
(10:40):
you're fucking losers. Yeah I was, and I'm making fun
of you. I was mad, you have you have big,
big issues with uh, with that that franchise.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I would say, I don't want to I don't want
to be like this, Sure, I would rather not. I
just man, it's not even a real country.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Bro. It's also not that good a movie. But hey, hey, hey,
where where's a family restaurant?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And if you want to hear my thoughts on Wakanda Forever,
go to patreon dot com back slash David Borie purchase
my special Birth of a Nation a little bit about it.
I also have a bit with a hook about hooking
up with an African woman.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Oh nice, I never did it as a result of
African filmography.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
It was more, to be honest, it almost felt like
in spite of because I was really taking the date
in the car. Uh, I was just because I was
so angry about it.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Oh, you were shitting on a thing that she enjoyed
to the point that you almost fumbled beautiful damn.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Exactly because I was like, you're not You're not pissed.
And she was from Sierra Leone too, so I should
have been minding my because it was like, this.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Was supposed to be your wife and you you really
you really fucked that up.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Yeah, damn, two women. I fumbled the bag with heartbreaking
I know my mom.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
I mean, if I had talked to her about stuff
like that, she would be upset.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
But no clue.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Great, yeah, you gotta have one that you've taken out
in the daytime for a while.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
But we we we can't dilly or dally any any
further on this, we we and isaay we But mostly
I I came across a conspiracy that that I I
guess it's easiest to just share the story of how
(12:54):
this happened. A few weeks ago, I was in a uber.
I got in an uber I think I was in
Atlanta at the time, and the driver was already playing
a YouTube video over the speakers very loudly. He showed
no evidence of being concerned whether or not I would
enjoy said YouTube video. It was just it was on.
(13:17):
As I got in, I said hello. He may not
have spoken back. I truly don't know, because of how
loud the video was playing, But either way, I got
in this uber and the man driving was watching a
YouTube video where two podcasters were arguing about whether or
not bbl's stink, whether or not there is a stench
(13:41):
associated with bbls, and on one gentleman chefore direct myself.
One gentleman was pro and one gentleman was con and
I'll let you decide which is which in the case
of stinky bbls. But they were arguing very intensely about it,
and and I never really could make sense of it.
(14:04):
And I thought, what a perfect conversation to bring back
to my man from the Congo, so that we can
we can unpack this thing together.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
I love it because I mean, okay, so first of all,
I think we start here. Have you ever dealt with
the BBL personally.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
I have felt some, but I have never.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Same.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I never I've never had the pleasure. I've talked about
this before on the podcast. I met my wife immediately
after filming Insecure and have remained faithful the entire time.
So a lot of the a lot of the beautiful
things that I could have had access to, I have not,
and that is my burden to bear and I continue
(14:50):
to bear it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
That's like you missed the whole technology, you know what
I mean. It's like you got married to the Nokia.
You know, the iPhone was recording.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, and I keep being like, yeah, but the battery
life is better, and everybody's like, I guess, bro.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah yeah, You're like no, I really just love playing sneak.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So neither of us have ever smashed the BBL.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Never got behind it in a meaningful way.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Damn no.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And now I feel it could happen. It's not like
a bucket list thing or anything. I got you.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It's just it's a possibility still for you. And that
gives me out. If that makes you feel anything.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Thank you. I mean, I will say and this is
I know this is gonna sound crazy. Yeah, and and listen,
I'm not. I'm not gonna I love ass. Sometimes they
look crazy that the bbls. Yeah, sometimes it's like really
like nuts.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
A lot of times not, I wouldn't. I'm not gonna
say most because I've seen some spectacular ones. I know
some fun folks who have gotten them and they look great.
But there there are quite a few bbls that are
stopping traffic for the wrong reasons right, truly devastating work
has been done to what otherwise could have been pretty gorgeous.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
When that's I mean I seen one of LaGuardia one
time and I was just like, just the nature that
you got one and then you're still working at LaGuardia
probably means it was done out of the country and
it's just like just the legs to butt ratio was
so crazy.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, that's the That's when it's the worst is here's
when them legs be little and that butt be big, Like,
oh no, this is a tragedy.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
You got a little booty and that's cool because I mean,
I love those. All this shit, I also I hate this.
All this shit is for social media. If you like,
any person who has some type of a type where
they're like I can't have anything else, But I am
inclined to not believe you.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Not only do I not believe you, I also don't
believe you've had sex with that many people when you're
that picky about the shit, right, Like.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
You don't think anybody with the little asses doing stuff
you like that's crazy?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Yeah, and like part of not and this isn't a
pride statement, but it is a fact when part of
getting numbers up is taking up numbers as they come.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You know what I mean, everybody shoots ugly shouts.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
You gotta be lucy and and ethol fucking putting chocolates
in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Oh yeah, discerning. I'm just trying to get full, uh
good food.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
This is a chili's baby, what you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It is like the difference is like that's for all
it is. It is it does speak to like materialism
type thing I think where it's like that is a
lot for other people, right, because it's like if you're
being that being said, I mean, when like a woman
is a size queen, I do think the effects are different.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Does that make me say more?
Speaker 1 (18:12):
I think the difference between a small penis and a
large penis is a greater distance between the difference between
a small booty and a big booty.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Mmmm, meaning the results for or the experience for the
person and like realized pleasure. Oh yeah, I could see that,
although I will say that, uh that the difference between
like wanting you know, a nine inch hog and and you.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Know, relax.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
What I call nine inches that's gotta be a hul.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
I don't like you. I don't like you in the
outside house. I feel like you need to visually start
recording back near your wife and child.
Speaker 2 (19:04):
Guess what I could say, hug as much as I
want out.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Here in the back house called crazy.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
In the house, I got a three hog limit.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
But.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Hug hog hog hog hog.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
No.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
But what I'm saying is like the difference between somebody
desiring nine inches of meat versus like somebody who's showing
up with you know, whatever standard is. The five and
a half to seven scenario of it all is not
you're not doing that person a disservice. You're just knocking
(19:48):
against their their preference, right. But if you're showing up
with a micro penis, now we got a different conversations.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
That's just what I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah, at the hog thing, so I neither of us
have really had true experiences with bbl's. But I will
say that I've been around enough women with bbls that
I've never it's never once, uh felt like there was
an odor protruding through there.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
That's what I was gonna say too, and I uh
uh not too.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Take your time, don't let it scare you. You'll get
I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
The ones that I have been around, Yeah, the ones
that I've been the closest to, I've been like you
know or whatever. The ones I've been the closest to
are in a strip club. And that is where if
I was gonna get a whiff or something, that's where
it would that would be the situation.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Yeah, I've been around nude bbls. It's not there's never
been a state.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
That's Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's I just didn't
want to make it. I'm not intrugle all the time.
But no, but you know, were you there that night
that a bunch of us went You weren't there?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
No? I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
When you go this is a like before I left
from LA But it was like and it's Jack was
sts like Sam Jack and a bunch of Jordan was
there A bunch of people were there because I remember
it was right after I got the Comedy Central job
and dearly departed Jack whispered in my ear. He was like,
I know you got that Comedy Central job. If you
spend less than a thousand dollars tonight, I'm telling everybody
(21:32):
like whispered did to me.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
At Oh you mean like a psychopath. Yeah, you mean
the way a crazy person. Yeah, you mean the way
crazy child would force you to spend money you haven't
(21:58):
made yet. In Los Angeles' notoriously bad strip clubs, bro
we were at.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Deja Boo and then they ran out of money. Whoa.
And then they ran out of money, like the ATM
wasn't working and we had to go to another one.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
The facility ran out of them.
Speaker 1 (22:21):
The facility ran out of money, and not like in
a cool way, you know, like like three of us
tried to get three hundred dollars. And then the funniest
part was I remember Sam got on the chair and said,
I'm sorry strippers were leaving. This is their fault. They
did not put They didn't put you in a position
to win.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Oh man, I didn't push you in a position to win.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
It's such a.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Like they're gonna have a conference afterwards. Now we as
a as an organized they can better strategize towards the championship.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I mean, do strippers have shift meetings?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I would hope so. I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I you don't think they have a round up like
I think.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
The unfortunate thing with strip clubs is that, uh is
that it's literally capitalism in your fucking face, and so
it encourages probably an individualism that isn't uh necessarily good
for the community as a whole, you know what I mean,
Like those strippers should be talking to each other and
unionizing and ship But.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Man, a dream of mine has always been to run
an ethical strip club.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, no, it sounds it sounds cool. It does sound
like the respectfully the pussy would be trash. But respectfully,
I hope that you you have a vision that somehow
can can move fast.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
That why okay, because this is I had a long
argument in a strip club with a friend about that. Yeah,
why do you think? Because he was like the same thing.
He's like, nah, you gotta loosely something along the lines of,
now you gotta be able to keep these hoes in check.
I think if everybody I think, I don't know, I
just maybe I see this is like my version of communism.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
I And again, I'm not rooting against you. I just
think part of what makes a strip club attractive to
strip club guys, right, and that is the industry that
maintains strip clubs is like the motherfuckers who truly love
that shit Tuesday. Part of what they need is sort
(24:38):
of a chance for this to go further than it's
supposed to go. Do you know what I mean? Like
they need to be able to like I bet, I
bet if I tip her enough, I could stick my
thumb in her butt, or like I bet if you know,
if I tell her enough stories, maybe I can get
some head in the back room. It's all the icky
(25:00):
shit that makes this thing not actually ethical. And as
soon as you lay it out on the table being
like we're ethical, we ain't never gonna have none of
that ship. Motherfucker is gonna be like, I don't want
to be here, and then the bad bitches are gonna
go where the money is.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
But in the world that I'm trying to set up
is like, but what if we lower the bar like
I want it to be a place of celebration more
than it's allowed to be there. I want to take
all the CDs about it, so me and you could
just be like, hey, we're gonna have a business meeting
strip club. Mm hmm. You know, I want to open
it up. But I see what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
I like what you're saying, but I'm saying that that
business men are vile and they want vile shit. They yeah,
And I think, Frank, the model is not broken. The
models broken, and that's right now. Why am I choosing
you over over the place where I get to do
(25:59):
the most vile shit and see the light leave these ladies' eyes.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
You know, I think we bring in really high class chefs.
What was that was that restaurant we went to New York?
You remember where they had the Douce cocktails. Oh damn,
imagine that with big ass everywhere.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
No, I get it, and look, one of one of
my dreams. While we're talking about stripper club dreams, one
of my dreams for my birthday or no, it was
for my bachelor party. This is what I asked for,
and I think we were gonna have it, but it
ended up getting We were going to New Orleans and
It ended up fucking having a hurricane that weekend and
(26:45):
so I had to cancel the bachelor party and never
really happened. But my ask was I wanted to do
stripper karaoke I wanted to do I got a karaoke
with just bad bitches naked and joined the karaoke dancing.
They could do some karaoke too. We just all hanging
out doing karaoke with Babbage.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Liston if we do a live. My mama told me
in Portland, I know a place we can go do that.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I want to do that so bad. We get It's.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Very fun, it is a good time.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
It's great. That's in my head is fucking awesome and
I can't. I desperately want to do it, So please
Portland hook it up that my mama told me, comes
there this year because.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, Devil's point. Tell the girls were coming, Tell the girls,
Tell the girls. I always wanted to be that guy,
Oh David's in the house. I went to a strip
club with a person who will not be named, and
we went to a Mexican one and he got a
shout out and it was out to the table from
the DJ, like we were at the table and the
(27:49):
DJ was like shout.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Okay, and I'm we have to throw to a break,
but before we do, I want to know was this
person being shouted out because of fame or being shouted
out because they are a frequent fang fang. Yeah, it's
sad if they're getting shouted out because he's.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Well, no, because I also okay, we do have to go.
But I also will say I for a couple of
years in San Francisco, I would do this strip club's
carry their their holiday party. I would perform at their
holiday party and it would always be just the strippers,
their boyfriends and then the hardcore regulars and that was
the party. And then but the comics would get on
(28:38):
stage and we would tell jokes and the girls would
throw money at us. And then they had crazy buffet
also really really good.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Were they good, good laughers.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Good laughers, good tippers, smoked us up a gang o
week it was And then the food was so good.
It was one of the best gigs I e. It
was like a gig. I was sad when I left
San Francisco and I had to give it up.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah it was. And you made way more money because
like if you made a dirty joke.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Like that's that's that's what we do, all.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Right, Yeah, oh yeah, this one the lady. There was
a lady who would do it with me too sometimes,
also not to be named. She would strip a little
bit and she made a gang of money. I didn't have,
quite frankly, the confidence in my body at that point.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
No, that's fair. I wouldn't take my shirt off now,
and there might be money for it, but I know
I can't take the risk. I can't take the possibility
of somebody being like, damn, look at his nipples.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Then I'm like, I was not gonna. I was not
gonna say nipples because I knew that you are sensitive
about it, that you would hurt. There you go, big nipples,
you look like.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
And then I'm just on stage getting mad for real.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Get him out of hair, Get him out of hair.
This is supposed to be body positive.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Get him out of hair. I was told this was
a kind strip club.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Oh all right, we need to take it for it.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
We're gonna be back with more lengths and more David
and more. My mama told me, we said take a
village to raise a child, But what if the village
is retarded?
Speaker 5 (30:44):
Which you think is gonna produce some stank ass bb ls.
LExEN and I are back talking about the possibility of
staking ass Brazilian butlers.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
That's right. I will say that clip on. One of
the things that I didn't enjoyed for the first time
hearing it in my headphones is the rumble that goes
over the crowd when he asked the question. He He's like,
what if the villages? And then and then they go oh,
and some of them are obviously offended, but some are
(31:18):
really thinking about the heavy question he just laid on them.
I okay. So, so neither of us have come across
the stinky BBL. Neither of us certainly feel like we've
I guess have had a conversation with somebody. I know
some people who are currently having sex with BBL subscribers,
(31:38):
and none of them seem to be reporting back that
there's a stench related to these bbls. What does the
internet say? I know you looked it up, so.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
In my can I tell you my tabs are what
is blue Raspberry fruity pebbles with Marshmellows, Beyonce Uncles, BBL
smell Uh Okay, okay, that was from when we first
started talking, though that wasn't just what was on there.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
No, we did. We did have a lengthy conversation about
uh and I don't want to overstep, but you apparently
have a deep addiction.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
To already overstep relax, I said, I got a box
of the ships.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
No, no, no, the blue drinks as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I love you have a nasty little relationship with blue drinks.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
I love blue drinks. My girl called me out at
the movies the other day. I just do, man, I
love a blue drinks. Are you going back to even
the little jugs? You remember the little drugs like the
quarter water joints? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I loved, loved the
blue ones I love. I love blue, raspberry, lemonade, blue,
anything they got that minute made blue blue? Uh yeah,
(32:55):
I love blue to blue drinks. I went to I
Want to Trick Daddy's restaurant a big old blue drink.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Damn is that what it was called?
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Don't? I just pointed at the.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Something tells me you got it right on the nose.
For what name says blue drink? Give me and and
blue Please?
Speaker 1 (33:23):
I have a flight to catch.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
You want a large or a double Xail Honey. Yeah,
I liked blue a lot when it because it kind
of got introduced as like the new innovative flavor. Eminem
brought out a new one sour Patch kids, they started
(33:45):
making blue. It all was much later in the game
that you got Blue introduced to the ship. I will
say for the drinks, though, I always knew you had
to cut that a little bit, you know what I mean, Like,
you could do blue, but then you gotta mix that
a little bit with that lemonade.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
You gotta.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Yeah, I understand, you got to offset all that blue
because that's that's too much pleasure at one time you
don't want, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Which is crazy because I cut other drinks. I take
my bull on my blue full strength, but I do
cut other drinks. Sometimes I'll cut down. I cut. I
cut a lot of juices with club soda. I do
that pretty common.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yeah, yeah, no, and it tastes better.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
I like a juice with a little fizz.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I'll cut. I'll cut sprite a little bit too.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
If I can encourage you, I think you gotta start
cutting your blue a little bit.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I'm not, I'm not. But here's the thing. This is
what is why it sounds crazy because yes, okay, I
did go see the new Mad Max and I got
a blue icy mixed with Coke icy. But I know
it's not even weakly that I'm taking taking blue. It's
like once a month or several It's like, I'm not
it's not that often.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
There was a time I just worry that when we
talked about this offline. It's the most unnatural of the colors. Yea,
every other color that they assigned to icys and drinks
and shit, they exist in nature. This yellow, this green,
this even this specific red sort of exists in parts
(35:22):
of nature. But that blue that ain't nowhere you go outside.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
No, it's from beyond.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
And I worry about you putting so much from beyond
into your your person, even if it is just once
a month or every.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Other I appreciate that. Yeah, And now that it's been
brought to my attention, I will I'm a crippling.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
So the Internet had thoughts about the stink, the potential
stink of BBLS.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
So the first thing that I found when I googled it,
it's basically says a slight odor. In the first few
days after Brazilian Butler's is normal and can be described
as musty or similar to a damp towel fuddy. I
didn't know musty was a real word.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Oh you thought that was just like uh nigga phrasing
for lack of a better term. Yes, I tried to
think of You heard the boative. Yeah, yeah, I was like, nah, no,
that's correct.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Now you're like, I'm in the back house. I can
say it here, and it says some causes of this
odor include fluid discharge, poor hygiene after defecation, bacteria build
up in sweat, which to me sort of sounds like
the causes of bad odor in general.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Yeah, it doesn't sound besides the secretions that they're referring to,
it all sounds pretty backside related, whether flat or big
right wash.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Ass I will I will say Also, if you get
a BBL there should be some barrier entry if it
stinks for a couple of days. I think that's a
fair trade off.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Well, that was my concern when I was listening to
this podcast in the first place, was like they were
having this really impassioned conversation about the stink dangers of
bbls and how it wasn't clear to me how much
of it was whether or not these women stunk because
like they weren't taking care of themselves, or there was
(37:31):
something fundamentally wrong inside of the BBL, or if it
was just that y'all tried to get some booty before
it was finished healing, Like how much of this? I
worry You're fucking an open wound, my man, Like.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
That's not let it settle. She just got back from
the dr. Let her rest.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
She had to sleep backwards on the plane because of
how painful it was. Give her a minute, and you're.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Just trying to punish that day one. Come on, man,
Like I do I do think that? Oh so it
feels like something that probably just Olivia had said this.
It feels like something that just comes with surgery.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah, I dog. Sometimes if I have too bad of
a cold, I think I stink more than normal, you
know what I mean, where I'm just like a you
kind of funky man, Like your whole aura is off.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
If I'm on a plane for too long, I feel
like I stink. Yeah, you just feel like shit? Yeah,
plans what I mean? If I go outside for a
long walk, I stink yeah yeah. Yeah. So it's like
the idea. Of course, it's it should stink. Quite frankly,
if it just came out ready to go, I would
trust it even less.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
You gotta let it cook, you.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Gotta let it breathe.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
BBL is like Chitling's the beginning stinky and your mama
makes a bet. But some sick niggas like them?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Are you where do you stand on the whole idea
of bbl's like as a whole, are you pro anti? Indifferent?
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I will not go so far as to say I'm
anti because I'm so cool with people doing whatever they
want to do to their person, Like that's not my business,
and I ain't trying to be one of them.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
Dudes.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I don't desire that of a person that I'm with.
And a lot of times I like the way women
are shaped as they are enough that like the idea
that it becomes like sort of this manipulated form. It
doesn't hit the same, you know what I mean. It's
(39:56):
like almost two perfect too, where you're like, that's but
then you know.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
That's not beauty to me. Yeah, perfection is not what
I'm seeking in another person, just beauty in the world
in general.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
I like the little holes in your button Yeah, dense, yeah, Nixon.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah. And I have a hard time with elective surgery
in general. I think coming from a place where surgery
is difficult, it feels like the resources to make you
feel like a better version of yourself feels wasteful to
(40:39):
me sometimes being said, we're here and you can do it.
So I'm like, I'm not trying to down it, but
I think on the whole, it's like, what I love
about people is using their flaws. I love people making
up for deficits. I think it's one thing that makes
(41:01):
humanity great. It makes people it truly interesting and shit
like that. So it feels like sometimes it makes me
sad when people feel like they have to have a
surgery to be themselves. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:15):
And I also we were talking about the trends of
it all earlier, and I also worry about that side
of it, Like all these women who got bbls are
now suddenly taking the like the bbls out, like they're they're,
you know, recarving themselves into sort of like thinner, sleeker
women whatever. And I don't say thin too, you know,
(41:39):
make it that, but that's essentially what's happening, and that
worries me of like, oh, you're doing this because because
the Internet told you to. That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
That's never gonna You're never gonna win that game. Either.
You might for a little bit, but.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
And we don't know how long bbl's uh last, you
know what I mean, Like we ain't we ain't never
seen no old BBL. We have like these bitches might
be dying at fifty five, And so you took all
that from your lifespan just to satiate the likes that
that worries me more than the act itself, motivation and call,
(42:19):
and the actual reasoning for it is more the concern
than the decision.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
I also because I am on the fence about a lot,
because like it is your body good. I should have
no say in what you do physically that makes you
feel good, you know what I mean, as long as
you're not harming others. Really not up to.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Me, No, not at all. But I do worry for
myself about I don't think that I could see myself
with a partner who needed that. I don't know that
to your point that that necessarily is going to match
socially with like my character, because I like to talk shit.
(43:01):
I like to pick out people's insecurities, and I don't
know that you know, I'm going to be able to
like tease you the way that I want to tease
you when when we got this big old secret and
we both like holding on.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
To is do people keep it secret? I feel like
the people that I've known who have had them are
fairly open about it. But is it like some people are?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I think it kind of depends on the community and
class of it all, you know what I mean that? Like,
I think there are some people I know who are
super open about it, and there are some people who
like will never say a word unless somehow it becomes
a very private conversation about what they've had done to themselves.
And so, like the comedy community, I feel like, excuse everything,
(43:56):
right because our whole thing is being too open about shit.
Speaker 1 (43:59):
Yeah, yeah, that's that's very true. That's very true. Are
there a lot of comments with bblso I don't know
any Yeah, that's what I was just thinking. I don't.
I don't, but I know it is a hilarious super
comedian to do.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
That'd be hilarious if Chris Rock gets a BBL nigga
already showing us this apps that big old but.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
A three sixty.
Speaker 2 (44:33):
Honestly, if Chappelle got a B B L it would
really change this this obsession with trans people in a
very interesting way.
Speaker 1 (44:41):
I'd beat it. If Chappelle's got a big old fake ass,
I'd be like, all right, oh, this nigga's.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
Got a lot more wrestling and said then he's been
able to acknowledge so far in these specials. Give him time.
He might he might land on something.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I think we were just scratching the surface.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
A lot of going on these are we're watching the
stages of grief. He's at anger right now. Let's wait
till he gets to acceptance. I got a good feeling
about this.
Speaker 1 (45:14):
But no, yeah, I I it is. It's such a
complicated issue because now that I think about it even
more in my head, it is like even with the
resources things, it's like, that's such an idealist, you know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Yeah, nobody has.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Yeah, whatever, But but honestly, you know, and this is
part of what cars use cobalt from the DRC where
where we you know?
Speaker 2 (45:36):
That's what I mean, is like part of what what
America does to people, is it tricks you into thinking
you have all the opportunities in the world, and the
reality is we're all going broke spending money on ship.
We don't need it. Just so happens that some people
are are choosing don't need that. They you can physically see,
(45:59):
and some of us start doing it with fucking blue drinks.
Blue drinks and weird couches and shit, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Don't put the drink on the couch though, Hey.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
You better give you a blue away from my couch.
Speaker 1 (46:15):
Here here's my big question in the argument. Yep, did
the men did it seem like they did feel like
they were talking out of their ask? Did they seem
no pun intended knock out the side of the next
Did it feel like was their merit or were they
just yelling about women? No?
Speaker 2 (46:33):
These were these were Let me be clear, this was
a podcast of two men who had no educational background
relating to this subject and certainly no real insights. They
were just speaking from not even as much personal experience,
but like a motherfucker told them, who told another motherfucker
(46:56):
that his girl bbl's thing, and they were arguing emotionally
about it.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
Okay, because that's also the hard thing is, like all
this stuff seems so rooted in being anti woman.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Yeah, and I do think at the core of it,
it's probably what this BBL stink is.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
Some dirty ass dude would say.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Yeah, it was like, oh, you mean all the two
girls you know who have bbls won't fuck you, and
therefore they must be and you can't figure out a
physical flaw anymore because they've been shaped into perfect So
you're like, yeah, but the they stink their insides are
rotting or.
Speaker 1 (47:41):
Whatever because they didn't answer your side eye emoji you
sms at three am.
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Right, because they don't reply when you write you show
have grown underneath their fucking Instagram pictures such beautiful eyes
have a nice day. That's the creepiest one.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Man man hot women like bad bitch like comment section.
He's a cesspool.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
It's unbelievable the things that women have to deal with
on a daily basis.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Bro, especially because sometimes it's a dude. You'd be like, well,
it's not all of us, and then you go to
the bad bitch comment section and it is just like, Nope,
that's a school principle that's supposed to work. He has
my father, he said he was at work.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Yeah, no, it's fucking nuts dance Solder has a really
funny joke.
Speaker 1 (48:45):
He does have a good bit about the comment.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Section about the comment section and isn't it special? But yeah,
it's it's fucking oh my god, I don't it's it's
insane the things that they've had to deal with and truly,
and it be over stuff that didn't even require that energy.
Speaker 1 (49:03):
Bro, men are so bad at the Internet. I don't
have an answer for it. No, you feel like men,
you're going crazy, and you can be like, yeah, I
don't have I don't have I don't have any defense,
I don't have a solution. I don't have a way out.
Speaker 2 (49:18):
It's one of the things that I've always felt pretty
passionately about as it relates to like my political leanings
and socio political position, is like I'm never gonna defend
men now. I ain't gonna be one of these dudes
that comes out and it's like fuck, men were vile,
Like that's our business. But I'm never once going to
(49:38):
go in some public space and be like men are
getting it wrong or being yeah, like nope, you know,
whatever it is, we probably did it. I can't say
it's all of us, and I'm not gonna take that
kind of responsibility in this But boy, oh boy, is
that probably true.
Speaker 1 (49:57):
It's not great out here.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
It's not great out here, and I know a lot
of people not being great.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
What does that say about me?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
I don't know. That's not my job in this podcast.
Speaker 1 (50:08):
I did rather. I'm just trying to get to tomorrow. Man,
I do.
Speaker 2 (50:20):
All right, We're gonna take one more break. We're gonna
be back with more David, more likes than and more.
My mama told me.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
I got no friend in this village, and I have
no friends with stinky mass bblack all booties good booty
smells delicious. That's not true. That was That was That
was crazy. You're talking crazy.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
We're still talking about the possibility that BBL stink. And
it does seem as if we've both landed on this
being more a product of deep seated hatred for women
than a genuine health concern for the women that have
taken this procedures.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
I think so. I think people don't want to see
a quick come up, or what's perceived as a quick
come up.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
Yeah, I guess what I would encourage, And this is
actually inspired by something Olivia sent But what I would
encourage for the men who feel this weird hatred where
you want to go and talk shit about women and
their bodies in a way that doesn't make sense for
your actual lived experience. What I would encourage you to
(51:36):
do is figure out a way to make some money
off of this hatred. Olivia sent us a very smart
idea where she said BBL scented candles, And to me,
that's a big business opportunity for you, the man hating
woman who's looking for a way to both like get
attention but also remind women that they hold no value
(51:57):
in your life.
Speaker 1 (51:58):
Yeah, come on, put it right next to your Erica
bad you pussy in.
Speaker 2 (52:02):
Sense which you hate, which you hate, not me.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
I tried. It stows out in like two minutes. It is.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
It's a It's a big profit opportunity. You can serve
a community that actually enjoys whatever these women are. You
know what I mean? Like, if you tell me there's
a BBL sent to candle, I only presume it's a
good smell.
Speaker 1 (52:26):
Yeah, yeah, I want my bathroom to smell like that.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
Yeah, I assume it is a fantastic smell.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
I want to have a dinner party and have people
come over and say is that BBL?
Speaker 2 (52:38):
It's your boy pulling you aside? Say, man, I want
to blow up your spot, but it smelled like BBL
in here, And you're like, brother, have I got a
tip for you?
Speaker 1 (52:57):
And it always will?
Speaker 2 (52:58):
My man, you gotta you have to start finding a
way to embrace women, even if it just means a
way of lining your pocket. Stop living your life sort
of deeply hating fifty one the population.
Speaker 1 (53:21):
There's one thing I know is that the bad bitches
don't care.
Speaker 2 (53:24):
They don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
Man about your sticking ass.
Speaker 2 (53:28):
They don't give a fuck about nothing. You ever try
to make eye contact with a bad bitch and she
ain't interest Fortunately, Yes, it don't matter what you do,
coughing and doing a little twist with your body just
to see if she'll look up nothing.
Speaker 1 (53:44):
Have you ever been like out in a sent public
This is this is the most painful bad bitch I
think I've ever had. It's like we were all out.
It was like two groups of people sitting next to
each other in a bar, and then like kind of
my friend's left and her friends left, and I like,
turn it just trying to talk to her in the
look the look on face, man, man, and I wouldn't
(54:14):
even I wouldn't even on it. Like it was just
like we've all been general you know, like when there's
two groups together and music comes on and you pointed
eachanging like.
Speaker 2 (54:23):
Yeah, we were communing. We were communing a little bit.
Speaker 1 (54:27):
This was isn't it isn't crazy for me to open
up a line of dialogue.
Speaker 2 (54:31):
This wasn't a cold call, baby girl. We had we
had primed for this.
Speaker 1 (54:34):
Yeah, that one, that one I'm remembering her face.
Speaker 2 (54:40):
No, it truly, and I guess it. What what is
upsetting as a man in those moments is not obviously
you have no reason or or you don't owe me anything.
But there were never under any circumstances in the world
where a bab bitch walks in the room that I
don't attempt to make eye contact. Even if she wasn't
(55:06):
you know what I mean, she throws even a glance
over at me. I'm already looking, baby girl, I'm already
closed up for you. I was just waiting for you
to come home.
Speaker 1 (55:21):
Instead, you leave the reaction, just hating yourself. Yeah, just
like I wish I wasn't wearing this fucking shock.
Speaker 2 (55:32):
But then on the flip it's like women can just
go through their lives and not notice us. That's that's
to me, sounds crazy, but I think, I think and
half it's it's wild to me because that's not how
I treat y'all. And that's more importantly, I just want
to be treated the way I treat others, and and
y'all don't do that. It's not right.
Speaker 1 (55:53):
It's because they're better than us.
Speaker 2 (55:55):
It's fuck. Well, I think we did it.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
We did. We said a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2 (56:05):
Is that a lot of stuff? It was all documented
the podcasts successful. Do you want to tell the people
where they can find you what cool shit you have
going on?
Speaker 1 (56:14):
Yeah? Cool guy joke Citty seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash,
David Bory Birth of a Nation with the g very
funny title.
Speaker 2 (56:25):
That's hell Yeah, follow Bory, subscribe to all this shit
And as always, if you want to follow me, you
can find me at Langston Kerman on all platforms. I'll
be there. I'm waiting and I'll be ready. And if
you want to send us your own drops, your own
conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us that bbls
(56:45):
in fact have a special scent that is better than
a natural booty. Then send it all to mymama pod
at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from you.
Give us a call at day four to four Little Moms.
My mama told me dot merch table dot com for
the merch and so just like subscribe, do all the things,
(57:06):
rate review even I don't know if that's an option,
but Reddit thread, do all the stuff that makes that
makes this thing keep kicking. And that's the whole shebang.
Bye bitch.
Speaker 1 (57:20):
How is my man supposed to schmitt his meet with
this ship? Bro? What the fuck?
Speaker 2 (57:29):
The my chips and your.
Speaker 1 (57:35):
Qualit bes are racist? The host layer hosting money turkey stuff,
I can't tell me
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.