April 10, 2025 • 23 mins
Langston and David respond to a listener's voicemail about sleeping in a bra that then spirals into a debate on nighttime nudity.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Your self, wood grain, chestnut, titty fuck chess nut.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
There it is.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
There, it is.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, little mamas and gentiles alike to
another phenomenal episode.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
And my mama told me the podcast where we dive
deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
And we finally worked aprove whatever the fuck you got going, baby,
Come on.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Now, it's all yours. It's a motherfucking mini episode. Tell
me about you, tell us what you got on? Yeah,
in detail, you're gonna st that in real life?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
What are you wearing?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I think I did at one point and realized quickly,
like that wasn't that?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
That didn't do anything for me? Yes, like the cool movie,
I've said it to escalate a text conversation, you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yeah, I think if you letting somebody know, hey, I'm
I'm horny over here, it does the job.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
But certainly.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Especially now with the internet age, I think, and you know,
when Bill Bellamy was at his height and he said,
what are you wearing? He had to truly ask because
he had no other way of seeing that person.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
You know what I mean player.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, just that energy of it of like, oh, there's
no photos on online, there's no like other information. I'm
just talking to avoid and so now with with the
wonders of the internet, I don't need to know what
the fuck you're wearing right now. I just need to
know what you wore one time and I'll figure it out.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yeah, I just really need to know where you're at.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
How many stops away you on the highway.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
But we are here. We have another voicemail.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, we got a voicemail.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
Yeah, another one. You guys keep saying them. Man, we
keep listening. It's a beautiful back and forth that we
all have.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
It's a nice relationship we form with you where you
call us and then we listen to your calls, and
then we respond to the calls that you you've left us.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, someone antagonistic when nothing's perfect.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, I will say, uh uh not a lot of
you calling with kindness. A lot of you are raised poorly. Uh,
that's clear by the way you speak to us in
the phone calls.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
I think they get though that what are we going
to do if you send one with that many compliments?
We wouldn't even play that shit realistically.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
That's true. And you know what, dear listener, that's fair.
David's absolutely right. The truth is that as much as
we complain about the way that you speak to us,
we also recognize that we don't appreciate people riding our
dig Yeah really we we we do not value it.
(03:09):
We're not gonna send the love back the way that
we probably should. So, yeah, you should speak nasty to us.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
And that's on us. That's us being broken. That's not y'all.
We appreciated the nice calls. It's just like we are
broken and we cannot receive the gifts that you are
trying to give. But we have been attacked before and
that is how we know to react. My mom is
a roaster. My dad is not a hugger. I struggle
(03:38):
with certain types of intimacy. That's on me, Bro, I've
been trying. Yeah, can tell you this is kind of embarrassing.
And and we'll get to the thing because you know,
I've been trying to cry. Man, got bro, that ship
I man uh fuck. I was watching TikTok, I dolloaded TikTok,
(03:59):
and I was watching these reunion videos where the army
guys come home. Yeah, and they were playing that that
that terrible that's sixty years old song. Soon I'll be
sixty years old. My dad even you know what I mean.
And then man, Nigga just started crying, I'll hit you, bro,
and I was on the couch. She was like, what
(04:22):
are you doing? Why'd you do it? Next to her?
I don't know, man, because she just heard that song
repeating over and over. She just like, what are you doing?
My gears? It's just like it's so human, you know.
And she was like she was like, she was like,
(04:44):
can I put it on the big screen? And my
first thought was like, bitch, you're trying to get me killed. Yeah. No,
no no, she it's like, can we you I can,
just we can put it on you We would put
it on the TV. And I was like no when
I threw my phone.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Away, Yeah, we're not going to share this as like
a family. This this is a private vulnerability that stays
with me and my business.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
But anyways, good to know you're not that broken.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
The Soldiers Coming Home doesn't really do it for me.
I think, okay, listen, not really that guy.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
It starts with the soldiers coming home and then it's
just reunion comps but the ones that the soldiers that
get me is either them coming home to their mom
or their kid. When they come home to the kid
and the kid like starts crying. That shit, I don't
give a fuck about the war they were they were gone,
maybe doing some awful stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
But yeah, yeah, I didn't mean to make you self
conscious about it. I'm not suggesting you're like a fan
of the military. I think for me, I have too
much of a block in my head to be able
to like find them endearing. And that's that's again some
(05:54):
shit on me. But I do think the reunion ones
like when people come home from jail, when people people
find the fucking dog that they ain't seen a while,
you know what I mean? Or those ships get me
every single time.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
You know what's fucked? This might be the dark skinned
one a part of me. They they suggested the pet
ones because I was liking the other ones. That shit
turned me off. See I told you, I was like,
fucking ship out my face.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I tell you all the time, you hate dogs and
you always get defensive, but but you really do hate them.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I don't hate I love my dog. You see me,
You see me with stelling. I should not bad, bro.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
You're very good. You're very good to stelling. Yeah, more
than more than your behavior on camera would reflect.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
You are very kind to your dog. Thank you. That's
all I ask.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
All right, she don't need to play this voicemail.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Hi David, Hi Langston. Hey, first time, long time. I'm
calling from New Hampshire.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Grateful on David's Patreon, Hey David. Oh episode about unattractive
white women being dangerous? And firstly, Will Smith did fuck young?
I read his memoir and his mama actually caught him
in the act. Now, my mama told me gonna sleeping
(07:17):
with your bra on during puberty will stunt your breast growth.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Wow, and.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Love y'all.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Well she did the sound effects or not reading?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
I like that. I don't love discussing the puberty aspect
of this. Oh interesting, Well, I just dicycle. I don't
want to comment on girls that Young's bodies. I think
did seems like he's an adult sleeping with your bra
(07:48):
and is unhinged.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I was about to say, I don't know that.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I never encountered that.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I do know women who sleep with bras on, uh,
or at least I knew them in a different life.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
That might have just been when you were there.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
That and that's fair. I don't know that they were
doing that all the time versus just sort of like
you know, performing for me or at least like trying
to keep it together for my sake. That said, I
can't imagine that sleeping with a bra on is a
good thing for anybody. As far as I know, and
(08:27):
I don't know a lot, there seems to be a
fair amount of research that suggests that bras are not
great for the human body in general. That like, they
are not as supportive as they claim to be. They
cause a lot of like you know, chafing and weird
skin issues, and certainly can lead to other kinds of
(08:47):
I've heard, like sagging and sort of like deflation of
the breast. Despite the claim that they are lifting them,
there's no there's no evidence of bras being fucking awesome
for bodies, So sleeping with them can't help.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yeah, I agree, because like you ever see there's e
grow a huge titties, take a broth and she got
that line and you're just like, damn baby, I know
I know that hurt. I know that that to just
have to all day every day, it just seems like
you just feel for them.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Sometimes if I wear like socks too tight, yeah, I'll
like get uncomfortable. I can't imagine what fucking titty socks
feels like.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yeah, and it's not. Yeah, it just seems like and
they get like it just seems like a terrible it seems.
And look in those big ones. Man, they got the
fucking holsters on them. What's that term batting down the hatches,
That's what they be doing.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yeah, they be having those anchors from boats in the back.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
On the HMS big titty.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
To soldiering.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
No, it seems like as far as like, of all
the uncomfortable things women have to wear, bros do seem bros.
And makeup seems like its own hell to do every
single day. And I will.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Also say, if we can broaden this conversation out a
little bit, I think part of the problem is years
of patriarchy and sort of propriety that teach women that
like they still have to live under a standard even
as they're like resting their their fucking souls.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Like you do not. As far as I'm concerned, I
don't exist when I'm sleeping. There is no I am
just a shell that's left behind, and my body goes
to another world and then it re enters that shell
when I wake the fuck back up. And the idea
that I should be like worried about the way that
that shell looks is it's a it's a prison.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
It's limiting, you know what I mean. I don't worry
about how I look at it all. And I know
it's crazy because sometimes I get woken up and I'm like,
I got I got mask on this ship was crazy.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
But that's because you're re entering a fucking chrystalist, do
you know what I mean? Like you're you're climbing back
into something, so you're like, what the fuck?
Speaker 4 (11:24):
You don't even fit right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
You're like the motherfucker for men in black. You need
sugar water.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I mean, I don't know. Though I'm also a free sleeper.
I don't know what you're on.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
You're fully nude when you sleeping, Sir, I had an
era where I was doing that. I don't do that
no more. I put shorts on.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
I like it. It's an era like you were in college.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
At a period. Because my wife, she's she's a nude,
a nude dude, she'll she'll be naked in the bed too.
And I think at a time it felt like, yeah,
I'm gonna match your vibe, this is what you want
to I'm gonna be here with you. And then I realized,
is this too loose for me?
Speaker 4 (12:20):
It's too much for you.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
I don't trust me enough to know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
I don't know anything. So you're sleeping with under a
short shorts like athletic shorts.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Put a pair of hoop shorts on, take though, no, no, no,
take my charles off.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Put a pair of hoof shorts on.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Now, now I could get active when yeah, in case
you gotta in case somebody break in, I gotta get
that thing out.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Now. I feel like an athlete, not a uh, not
a mark. You know what's nasty about me is I
fantasized about somebody breaking in and all I got, All
I got is the heat.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Just but ass naked holding the pistol.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I'd be like that when the cops show up too.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
It was a clean shot, officer, because that's happened before.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Where somebody's in the house, there's nobody's ever and you
grab the ship and then I realized, like, damn, I'm
gonna commit a crime unsoft.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
That's the thing, man, that's the thing. And you know
what really scares me, You know, it really scares me.
Maybe I commit a crime and I get hard and
now and now I've discovered something even worse than me
that I didn't want to And and not that that
wouldn't happen with the shorts on, but at least with
the shorts I could. I could hide it a little bit.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
You could tuck it. See. I don't like to feel,
and this has made me too far. I don't like
the feeling of athletic fibers. I need if I'm wearing,
I need underwear on. Usually, Oh you don't like just sweatpants,
But I don't like that feeling of the material of.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Just straight fiber to skin. You need you need.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
A it needs to be a buffer. Yeah. I get
that it's too raw. It's too raw.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
I find underwear to restraining for sleep. I can't just
do straight underwear and the shorts. The shorts allow for
a certain looseness that I prefer.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
You wear socks.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
No, okay, that's that's no. But what are we the
in the nineteen thirties.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
No, yeah, I don't wear socks unless we got company
coming over.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Oh you're like barefoot around the house?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Yeah, in the crib. Yeah no, no, I can't do that. Well,
I got some slides. I got house slides, so like
like in the basement because it's like a concrete floor
and stuff like that. But like the upper the top
tier where I'm at right now, no socks, No socks.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
We keep it pretty chilly.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
In the house.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
So I like, I like to have a few layers,
but but then come to sleep time, only layer I
need is a pair of hoop shorts on that cover.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Baby. How Ever, you you naked? I wonder this about everybody?
What like what how do you think you're naked a
lot in life? No?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I really try to keep it to a minimum, really
try to keep it tight around here.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
What about when you lived alone?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Nope, no, even when you live alone. I don't like
saying it. I don't like knowing is happening for me.
Uh interesting, and that's something I'm trying to move past.
I want to be clear, this isn't like a brag.
I want to become more comfortable with my person so
that I do feel that kind of confidence. But as
it is, I do not enjoy saying it, and so
(15:56):
I don't. I mean, you have to be in the mirror, yeah,
but you know you want to be able to like
walk everywhere and like look over and be like, all right,
big man, looking great, And that's not the vibes right now.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Are you naked a lot? Mm hmm wow? Yeah, A
pretty good amount when I was when I lived alone,
an awful lot. Are you naked?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And I don't mean this to sound crash, but are
you naked around the animals? Do you care at all they?
Is there any part of you that's like, No, I
don't want my dog to see that.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
I know what you gonna do. I'm not like I'm
not petting her.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Sure, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I'm not. I'm not I'm not engaging. Yeah yeah, but
like you can see what you see. She's naked. They're naked.
That's true. Everybody naked in here, Everybody naked in here,
everybody naked in here. Man. It's just like I just
feel like it's like, man, that is regardless of what
it looks like, that is you. That's that's that's you.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
That's the most you you'll ever be.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
It's the most you you'll ever be. So like I
do think it's good to spend time like that. Like
I my dream is to go to like one of
these islands where I could get a private bungalow or
some shit. Like if we went to like the dr
or some shit and I got a bungalow in the tropics, Yeah,
(17:26):
that would be awesome, just naked.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
When we went on Safari, we had like this cabin
where that had a private pool, like a pretty large
private pool in the back that basically looked out onto
the plains, like looked out into what was a small
river that elephants would drink out of. But then like
(17:51):
animals could come and drink out of your pool while
you're like in it and shit, and there's no gates,
there's no like obstructions. It just is nature. And you
could be naked out there and you know what I mean,
and not feel concerned that this was somehow going to
become somebody else's problem.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
See, that's here's what's fucked up. You remember my old crib.
You went to my old house and I had that
the huge the balcony deck looking over the city. I
would approach the city naked in the morning times often WHOA,
just butt ass naked in front of that window, just
looking out. Interesting. And this's what I love about hotels
(18:32):
in New York.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
You didn't mind the possibility of somebody saying you naked?
Yeah whatever, man, WHOA, that's beautiful. It really was aspiring
to hear. It was like tucked in. It wasn't like crazy.
But I don't know, man, it's just like it's like
it feels there's something that very good. It feels very
good about being up high and just like looking out nude,
(18:55):
you know what I mean. And my body ain't even
great naked, honestly quite better.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
But no, but it's not about that. If I'm hearing,
it's like the whole thing about nudity to me, I
think that I appreciate it. It's not an aesthetic thing
because it's not like I'm walking around every now and
then I'll be at a mirror. I'll be like, damn, man,
you need to go to go to the why. Yeah,
(19:24):
it's not even about that. It's just like, uh, shout
to the why though they've been holding me down.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Shout out to the Young Men's Christian Association. That said,
I do think if we could circle this back to
the to the conversation the question at hand, I do think, uh,
what we should be sending our listeners home understanding is
that there's no reason for you to sleep in any
restraints other than your own comfort, right Like, if you
(19:55):
prefer a braw for whatever reason, I can't imagine you do.
I don't think anybody should. But if that is what
you prefer, feel free to do it. But but I think
it's less, at least scientifically about the titty shrinking as
much as restraining your soul your spirit in a way
that probably is not healthy for you to become more
(20:16):
centered in the person you want to be.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Yeah, So just sleep how you want, man.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Sleep how you want. You make it on the balcony,
like David. Yeah, I never would go outside.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Ah, I had done that, not in the day, all right,
be negative at night on a balcony like that.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It's just powerful from long till dusk.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Yo, get out of here, bro, what do you do it?
You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give me two
hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
That's why we do dres hell. Yeah, that right there,
I think we did it. I think we did it
as well. I hope this answered your question or your
question listener. We don't have any science to back it up,
but we think you should take that bra off or
whoever is doing it, take that bra off.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
It's not helping free them bring back our girls.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Bringing back our girls. Yo, that's beautiful. Do you want
to tell the people where they can find you?
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Yeah? Cool guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram, Patreon dot com,
back slash David Boy to purchase my special Birth of
a Nation go by, It's very good. April twenty fifth
to twenty six, I'm going to be in Dallas, Texas
at the Dallas Comedy Club. Please come out. I'll love
to see all right.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Hell yeah, come follow me at liang Ston Kerman on
all social media platforms you can. You can see me
live Wise Guys. April tenth, I'll be in Salt Lake City.
I believe today is April tenth. If you're listening today,
so go ahead and be in Utah and come see
me perform. And then April seventeenth, I will be in
(22:19):
Las Vegas at the Wise Guys. There, you can send
us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. If you
want to tell us how yo titties hang when you're sleeping,
send it all to my mama pod at gmail dot com.
Give us a call at a four score low Moms,
go ahead.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
I was just gonna say we got nominated for a
Webby Award. Vote for us, vote dot Webby Awards dot
com search my mama told me, and vote for our
episode with money exchange because we're trying to get rich.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
We're trying to get rich, We're trying to get rid
and forget all about you. And this is a great episode.
Just just it is pound for pound, really fun episode.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Monette is.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
She's so funny and uh and we're so happy that
that you guys considered us for the award, and we
hope that our listeners go ahead and help us win
that thing so that we can talk to you even
worse than we do already. Hell yeah, like subscribe great
review by the merch Bye uh earthquake kids. I don't know,
(23:24):
bye bitch.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Because I got the I've been smoking dope, I got
the chest.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Well. The fucking mini years so many episode, well, the
fucking mini ever so well, the fucking mini ever So
mini episode, Well, the fucking mini everisod
Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Your self, wood grain, chestnut, titty fuck chess nut.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
There it is.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
There, it is.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, little mamas and gentiles alike to
another phenomenal episode.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
And my mama told me the podcast where we dive
deep into the pockets of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
And we finally worked aprove whatever the fuck you got going, baby,
Come on.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Now, it's all yours. It's a motherfucking mini episode. Tell
me about you, tell us what you got on? Yeah,
in detail, you're gonna st that in real life?
Speaker 4 (00:48):
What are you wearing?
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I think I did at one point and realized quickly,
like that wasn't that?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
That didn't do anything for me? Yes, like the cool movie,
I've said it to escalate a text conversation, you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Yeah, I think if you letting somebody know, hey, I'm
I'm horny over here, it does the job.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
But certainly.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Especially now with the internet age, I think, and you know,
when Bill Bellamy was at his height and he said,
what are you wearing? He had to truly ask because
he had no other way of seeing that person.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
You know what I mean player.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, just that energy of it of like, oh, there's
no photos on online, there's no like other information. I'm
just talking to avoid and so now with with the
wonders of the internet, I don't need to know what
the fuck you're wearing right now. I just need to
know what you wore one time and I'll figure it out.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yeah, I just really need to know where you're at.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
How many stops away you on the highway.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
But we are here. We have another voicemail.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, we got a voicemail.
Speaker 4 (02:05):
Yeah, another one. You guys keep saying them. Man, we
keep listening. It's a beautiful back and forth that we
all have.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
It's a nice relationship we form with you where you
call us and then we listen to your calls, and
then we respond to the calls that you you've left us.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
Yeah, someone antagonistic when nothing's perfect.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Yeah, I will say, uh uh not a lot of
you calling with kindness. A lot of you are raised poorly. Uh,
that's clear by the way you speak to us in
the phone calls.
Speaker 4 (02:40):
I think they get though that what are we going
to do if you send one with that many compliments?
We wouldn't even play that shit realistically.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
That's true. And you know what, dear listener, that's fair.
David's absolutely right. The truth is that as much as
we complain about the way that you speak to us,
we also recognize that we don't appreciate people riding our
dig Yeah really we we we do not value it.
(03:09):
We're not gonna send the love back the way that
we probably should. So, yeah, you should speak nasty to us.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
And that's on us. That's us being broken. That's not y'all.
We appreciated the nice calls. It's just like we are
broken and we cannot receive the gifts that you are
trying to give. But we have been attacked before and
that is how we know to react. My mom is
a roaster. My dad is not a hugger. I struggle
(03:38):
with certain types of intimacy. That's on me, Bro, I've
been trying. Yeah, can tell you this is kind of embarrassing.
And and we'll get to the thing because you know,
I've been trying to cry. Man, got bro, that ship
I man uh fuck. I was watching TikTok, I dolloaded TikTok,
(03:59):
and I was watching these reunion videos where the army
guys come home. Yeah, and they were playing that that
that terrible that's sixty years old song. Soon I'll be
sixty years old. My dad even you know what I mean.
And then man, Nigga just started crying, I'll hit you, bro,
and I was on the couch. She was like, what
(04:22):
are you doing? Why'd you do it? Next to her?
I don't know, man, because she just heard that song
repeating over and over. She just like, what are you doing?
My gears? It's just like it's so human, you know.
And she was like she was like, she was like,
(04:44):
can I put it on the big screen? And my
first thought was like, bitch, you're trying to get me killed. Yeah. No,
no no, she it's like, can we you I can,
just we can put it on you We would put
it on the TV. And I was like no when
I threw my phone.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Away, Yeah, we're not going to share this as like
a family. This this is a private vulnerability that stays
with me and my business.
Speaker 4 (05:05):
But anyways, good to know you're not that broken.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
The Soldiers Coming Home doesn't really do it for me.
I think, okay, listen, not really that guy.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
It starts with the soldiers coming home and then it's
just reunion comps but the ones that the soldiers that
get me is either them coming home to their mom
or their kid. When they come home to the kid
and the kid like starts crying. That shit, I don't
give a fuck about the war they were they were gone,
maybe doing some awful stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
But yeah, yeah, I didn't mean to make you self
conscious about it. I'm not suggesting you're like a fan
of the military. I think for me, I have too
much of a block in my head to be able
to like find them endearing. And that's that's again some
(05:54):
shit on me. But I do think the reunion ones
like when people come home from jail, when people people
find the fucking dog that they ain't seen a while,
you know what I mean? Or those ships get me
every single time.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
You know what's fucked? This might be the dark skinned
one a part of me. They they suggested the pet
ones because I was liking the other ones. That shit
turned me off. See I told you, I was like,
fucking ship out my face.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I tell you all the time, you hate dogs and
you always get defensive, but but you really do hate them.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I don't hate I love my dog. You see me,
You see me with stelling. I should not bad, bro.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
You're very good. You're very good to stelling. Yeah, more
than more than your behavior on camera would reflect.
Speaker 4 (06:40):
You are very kind to your dog. Thank you. That's
all I ask.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
All right, she don't need to play this voicemail.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Hi David, Hi Langston. Hey, first time, long time. I'm
calling from New Hampshire.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (06:55):
Grateful on David's Patreon, Hey David. Oh episode about unattractive
white women being dangerous? And firstly, Will Smith did fuck young?
I read his memoir and his mama actually caught him
in the act. Now, my mama told me gonna sleeping
(07:17):
with your bra on during puberty will stunt your breast growth.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
Wow, and.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Love y'all.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
Well she did the sound effects or not reading?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
I like that. I don't love discussing the puberty aspect
of this. Oh interesting, Well, I just dicycle. I don't
want to comment on girls that Young's bodies. I think
did seems like he's an adult sleeping with your bra
(07:48):
and is unhinged.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
I was about to say, I don't know that.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
I never encountered that.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
I do know women who sleep with bras on, uh,
or at least I knew them in a different life.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
That might have just been when you were there.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
That and that's fair. I don't know that they were
doing that all the time versus just sort of like
you know, performing for me or at least like trying
to keep it together for my sake. That said, I
can't imagine that sleeping with a bra on is a
good thing for anybody. As far as I know, and
(08:27):
I don't know a lot, there seems to be a
fair amount of research that suggests that bras are not
great for the human body in general. That like, they
are not as supportive as they claim to be. They
cause a lot of like you know, chafing and weird
skin issues, and certainly can lead to other kinds of
(08:47):
I've heard, like sagging and sort of like deflation of
the breast. Despite the claim that they are lifting them,
there's no there's no evidence of bras being fucking awesome
for bodies, So sleeping with them can't help.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Yeah, I agree, because like you ever see there's e
grow a huge titties, take a broth and she got
that line and you're just like, damn baby, I know
I know that hurt. I know that that to just
have to all day every day, it just seems like
you just feel for them.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
Sometimes if I wear like socks too tight, yeah, I'll
like get uncomfortable. I can't imagine what fucking titty socks
feels like.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yeah, and it's not. Yeah, it just seems like and
they get like it just seems like a terrible it seems.
And look in those big ones. Man, they got the
fucking holsters on them. What's that term batting down the hatches,
That's what they be doing.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yeah, they be having those anchors from boats in the back.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
On the HMS big titty.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
To soldiering.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
No, it seems like as far as like, of all
the uncomfortable things women have to wear, bros do seem bros.
And makeup seems like its own hell to do every
single day. And I will.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
Also say, if we can broaden this conversation out a
little bit, I think part of the problem is years
of patriarchy and sort of propriety that teach women that
like they still have to live under a standard even
as they're like resting their their fucking souls.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Like you do not. As far as I'm concerned, I
don't exist when I'm sleeping. There is no I am
just a shell that's left behind, and my body goes
to another world and then it re enters that shell
when I wake the fuck back up. And the idea
that I should be like worried about the way that
that shell looks is it's a it's a prison.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
It's limiting, you know what I mean. I don't worry
about how I look at it all. And I know
it's crazy because sometimes I get woken up and I'm like,
I got I got mask on this ship was crazy.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
But that's because you're re entering a fucking chrystalist, do
you know what I mean? Like you're you're climbing back
into something, so you're like, what the fuck?
Speaker 4 (11:24):
You don't even fit right, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:26):
You're like the motherfucker for men in black. You need
sugar water.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I mean, I don't know. Though I'm also a free sleeper.
I don't know what you're on.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
You're fully nude when you sleeping, Sir, I had an
era where I was doing that. I don't do that
no more. I put shorts on.
Speaker 4 (11:58):
I like it. It's an era like you were in college.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
At a period. Because my wife, she's she's a nude,
a nude dude, she'll she'll be naked in the bed too.
And I think at a time it felt like, yeah,
I'm gonna match your vibe, this is what you want
to I'm gonna be here with you. And then I realized,
is this too loose for me?
Speaker 4 (12:20):
It's too much for you.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
I don't trust me enough to know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
I don't know anything. So you're sleeping with under a
short shorts like athletic shorts.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Put a pair of hoop shorts on, take though, no, no, no,
take my charles off.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Put a pair of hoof shorts on.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Now, now I could get active when yeah, in case
you gotta in case somebody break in, I gotta get
that thing out.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
Now. I feel like an athlete, not a uh, not
a mark. You know what's nasty about me is I
fantasized about somebody breaking in and all I got, All
I got is the heat.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Just but ass naked holding the pistol.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
I'd be like that when the cops show up too.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
It was a clean shot, officer, because that's happened before.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Where somebody's in the house, there's nobody's ever and you
grab the ship and then I realized, like, damn, I'm
gonna commit a crime unsoft.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
That's the thing, man, that's the thing. And you know
what really scares me, You know, it really scares me.
Maybe I commit a crime and I get hard and
now and now I've discovered something even worse than me
that I didn't want to And and not that that
wouldn't happen with the shorts on, but at least with
the shorts I could. I could hide it a little bit.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
You could tuck it. See. I don't like to feel,
and this has made me too far. I don't like
the feeling of athletic fibers. I need if I'm wearing,
I need underwear on. Usually, Oh you don't like just sweatpants,
But I don't like that feeling of the material of.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Just straight fiber to skin. You need you need.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
A it needs to be a buffer. Yeah. I get
that it's too raw. It's too raw.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
I find underwear to restraining for sleep. I can't just
do straight underwear and the shorts. The shorts allow for
a certain looseness that I prefer.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
You wear socks.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
No, okay, that's that's no. But what are we the
in the nineteen thirties.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
No, yeah, I don't wear socks unless we got company
coming over.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Oh you're like barefoot around the house?
Speaker 4 (14:43):
Yeah, in the crib. Yeah no, no, I can't do that. Well,
I got some slides. I got house slides, so like
like in the basement because it's like a concrete floor
and stuff like that. But like the upper the top
tier where I'm at right now, no socks, No socks.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
We keep it pretty chilly.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
In the house.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
So I like, I like to have a few layers,
but but then come to sleep time, only layer I
need is a pair of hoop shorts on that cover.
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Baby. How Ever, you you naked? I wonder this about everybody?
What like what how do you think you're naked a
lot in life? No?
Speaker 3 (15:17):
I really try to keep it to a minimum, really
try to keep it tight around here.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
What about when you lived alone?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Nope, no, even when you live alone. I don't like
saying it. I don't like knowing is happening for me.
Uh interesting, and that's something I'm trying to move past.
I want to be clear, this isn't like a brag.
I want to become more comfortable with my person so
that I do feel that kind of confidence. But as
it is, I do not enjoy saying it, and so
(15:56):
I don't. I mean, you have to be in the mirror, yeah,
but you know you want to be able to like
walk everywhere and like look over and be like, all right,
big man, looking great, And that's not the vibes right now.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Are you naked a lot? Mm hmm wow? Yeah, A
pretty good amount when I was when I lived alone,
an awful lot. Are you naked?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And I don't mean this to sound crash, but are
you naked around the animals? Do you care at all they?
Is there any part of you that's like, No, I
don't want my dog to see that.
Speaker 4 (16:30):
I know what you gonna do. I'm not like I'm
not petting her.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
Sure, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I'm not. I'm not I'm not engaging. Yeah yeah, but
like you can see what you see. She's naked. They're naked.
That's true. Everybody naked in here, Everybody naked in here,
everybody naked in here. Man. It's just like I just
feel like it's like, man, that is regardless of what
it looks like, that is you. That's that's that's you.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
That's the most you you'll ever be.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
It's the most you you'll ever be. So like I
do think it's good to spend time like that. Like
I my dream is to go to like one of
these islands where I could get a private bungalow or
some shit. Like if we went to like the dr
or some shit and I got a bungalow in the tropics, Yeah,
(17:26):
that would be awesome, just naked.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
When we went on Safari, we had like this cabin
where that had a private pool, like a pretty large
private pool in the back that basically looked out onto
the plains, like looked out into what was a small
river that elephants would drink out of. But then like
(17:51):
animals could come and drink out of your pool while
you're like in it and shit, and there's no gates,
there's no like obstructions. It just is nature. And you
could be naked out there and you know what I mean,
and not feel concerned that this was somehow going to
become somebody else's problem.
Speaker 4 (18:10):
See, that's here's what's fucked up. You remember my old crib.
You went to my old house and I had that
the huge the balcony deck looking over the city. I
would approach the city naked in the morning times often WHOA,
just butt ass naked in front of that window, just
looking out. Interesting. And this's what I love about hotels
(18:32):
in New York.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
You didn't mind the possibility of somebody saying you naked?
Yeah whatever, man, WHOA, that's beautiful. It really was aspiring
to hear. It was like tucked in. It wasn't like crazy.
But I don't know, man, it's just like it's like
it feels there's something that very good. It feels very
good about being up high and just like looking out nude,
(18:55):
you know what I mean. And my body ain't even
great naked, honestly quite better.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
But no, but it's not about that. If I'm hearing,
it's like the whole thing about nudity to me, I
think that I appreciate it. It's not an aesthetic thing
because it's not like I'm walking around every now and
then I'll be at a mirror. I'll be like, damn, man,
you need to go to go to the why. Yeah,
(19:24):
it's not even about that. It's just like, uh, shout
to the why though they've been holding me down.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Shout out to the Young Men's Christian Association. That said,
I do think if we could circle this back to
the to the conversation the question at hand, I do think, uh,
what we should be sending our listeners home understanding is
that there's no reason for you to sleep in any
restraints other than your own comfort, right Like, if you
(19:55):
prefer a braw for whatever reason, I can't imagine you do.
I don't think anybody should. But if that is what
you prefer, feel free to do it. But but I think
it's less, at least scientifically about the titty shrinking as
much as restraining your soul your spirit in a way
that probably is not healthy for you to become more
(20:16):
centered in the person you want to be.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Yeah, So just sleep how you want, man.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Sleep how you want. You make it on the balcony,
like David. Yeah, I never would go outside.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Ah, I had done that, not in the day, all right,
be negative at night on a balcony like that.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
It's just powerful from long till dusk.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Yo, get out of here, bro, what do you do it?
You're disgusting. I'm going to kill you. Give me two
hundred dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
That's why we do dres hell. Yeah, that right there,
I think we did it. I think we did it
as well. I hope this answered your question or your
question listener. We don't have any science to back it up,
but we think you should take that bra off or
whoever is doing it, take that bra off.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
It's not helping free them bring back our girls.
Speaker 3 (21:19):
Bringing back our girls. Yo, that's beautiful. Do you want
to tell the people where they can find you?
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Yeah? Cool guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram, Patreon dot com,
back slash David Boy to purchase my special Birth of
a Nation go by, It's very good. April twenty fifth
to twenty six, I'm going to be in Dallas, Texas
at the Dallas Comedy Club. Please come out. I'll love
to see all right.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
Hell yeah, come follow me at liang Ston Kerman on
all social media platforms you can. You can see me
live Wise Guys. April tenth, I'll be in Salt Lake City.
I believe today is April tenth. If you're listening today,
so go ahead and be in Utah and come see
me perform. And then April seventeenth, I will be in
(22:19):
Las Vegas at the Wise Guys. There, you can send
us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. If you
want to tell us how yo titties hang when you're sleeping,
send it all to my mama pod at gmail dot com.
Give us a call at a four score low Moms,
go ahead.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
I was just gonna say we got nominated for a
Webby Award. Vote for us, vote dot Webby Awards dot
com search my mama told me, and vote for our
episode with money exchange because we're trying to get rich.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
We're trying to get rich, We're trying to get rid
and forget all about you. And this is a great episode.
Just just it is pound for pound, really fun episode.
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Monette is.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
She's so funny and uh and we're so happy that
that you guys considered us for the award, and we
hope that our listeners go ahead and help us win
that thing so that we can talk to you even
worse than we do already. Hell yeah, like subscribe great
review by the merch Bye uh earthquake kids. I don't know,
(23:24):
bye bitch.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Because I got the I've been smoking dope, I got
the chest.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Well. The fucking mini years so many episode, well, the
fucking mini ever so well, the fucking mini ever So
mini episode, Well, the fucking mini everisod
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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