March 27, 2025 • 23 mins
Lil' Mommas! We will be back with new episodes next week. Enjoy this classic Motherf*ckin Mini Episode, where we talk about how enough downward dogs can lead you to the devil's pose.
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Langston and David answer a listener's email about yoga being a way to let Satan into your mind.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Motherfucking mini episode. Mini episode, motherfucking mini episode.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
What would you do if your son was at home
crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he's hungry?
There it is, there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
to another phenomenal episode, a mini episode of My Mama
Told Me.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of
black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And we finally worked to prove the conspiracy theories that you,
the listener, the little mamas and gentiles alike have at home.
This is a motherfucking mini episode.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Would have been swallowed up? Have you ever been swallowed up?
Have you gone through a time of swallowing where everything
was overwhelmed?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
You know what's upsetting about that one is the visuals.
It's so long. Yeah, it's so long. It won't stop,
and it's like, bro, you gotta stop.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
But as someone who's been in flow state before, like
you see it when you're like yep, that's how if
you're like that, like when you just can't miss so
you're just going crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It was cooking too hard.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, I've done it, cause you probably had sets like
that where you're like, oh, I could say anything and
it's gonna work. Yeah, I'm going nuts, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
No, there are times, and it's the reason I despise
the crowd work clips that that our art form has
sort of devolved into. But there are times when you're
like engaging with an audience in such a funny, sincere
way that it it goes on for like minutes, like
(01:54):
I kind.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Of where you're like, oh shit, that riff was fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, it's just a long ass time. And that's not cutable,
you know what I mean. Like, that's not a thing
that you can chop up and make into like a
thing you offer up to an audience.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Oh yeah, that's why you don't ever trust a five
second crowd work clip. It's not real. Yeah it wasn't
that funny.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
They had a big laugh and then it stopped really fast.
Yeah yeah, I didn't know how to keep going. Yeah yeah,
it was like somebody said, one interesting thing. Anyways, we're
not here to talk about Stu' it's thinks and the
art that I love has uh has become something that
I barely recognize. But that's not the point of this podcast.
(02:40):
This podcast, especially today, we are we're talking to you
the listener. We're reading your emails. We're engaging with your thoughts,
your suggestions. And we got an email from a person
named Aliyah l I y a h just like the
singer got you personality, mentality a man. Anyways, I miss
(03:01):
her too, she was great. We all miss her.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Nothing nothing I wish they had anyways. I just sometimes
I feel like somebody needed to take care of that
little girl, like you know, yeah, she was like bounched
around to a lot of men. It feels like dark. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
No, I think that's one hundred percent true of a
person who who maybe needed somebody just to look out
for in a way that that she never really got
by the end of it.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So you want to read an email, No.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Let's just have them the silence. Let's just stood in
that feeling for a second.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Two seconds too later, Sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
We got an email from a person named Aliah who
sent us as subject line Satan's Yoga. Satan's Yoga, She says, Hi,
David and length and longtime listener back again with another conspiracy.
This one actually comes from my grandmother, a Southern black
woman who later in life became a Jehovah's witness. One
day later, in life. She started that shit later in life,
(04:15):
that makes more sense.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
In starting it earlier in life, Like, you can't convert
to Jehovah's witness in like your mid twenties.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I don't picture early in life being your mid twenty conversions.
I picture early in your life, meaning you grew up
in the Jehovah. Oh but she converted, she said, right,
And I'm saying that converting to Jehovah's witness is a
silly thing.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
You've already had some birthdays.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, you know what Christmas feels like?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yeah, you go.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Are you shifting back for.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Taking that away from your children? You monster? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
No, that's that's an odd fucking choice. So you want
to go door to door? Okay?
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Anyways, those shit. Your grandma's a sweet woman, earliah or Ns.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I don't know hard to say the but I'm leaning
towards the latter.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
One man's cuckoo is another man's cocoa puffs.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
One day, after watching a commercial about yoga clothes, she
went on a rant about how doing yoga is evil
and if you meditate, you will mess around and open
up your mind so much you will let satan in.
I understood her to mean meditating can be a pathway
to connect with Satan. Similarly, how praying is a way
to connect with God. I grew up going to church
(05:31):
as well as the Kingdom Hall. So I am conflicted.
I believe in spirits and have an ancestor alter myself.
So just as there is a way to channel the
good spirits, there has to be a way to channel
the bad ones. I'm interested in hearing what you guys
think best.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Aliah, Well, Aliah, I think you're a witch, and I
rebuke thee in the name of the One True Lord. No,
I think that. So here's what I don't like about this, right, Yeah,
(06:08):
the idea of like, if you meditate or you do yoga,
you're gonna open your mind so much. So that's what
like I don't like. It's like, I don't like the
idea that an open mind is what leads to the devil.
That means God wants you to have a closed mind.
That means he's like reductive as fuck and does not
want you to open you up to whatever your true
(06:30):
potential is. He doesn't want you to be free. And
that's not like the God. If that that's not like
a God. I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Say, right, a god that encourages you to sort of
live in a bubble is not a god that you
you recognize.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Well, just like, yeah, any type of like don't open
your mind is a great Like really think about what
you're saying within that. That's like, that's terrible. Nobody okay,
nobody ever leave your small town. Don't never try to
do something that no one in your family did, Like,
don't ever push for anything. Then you know what I'm saying,
(07:07):
don't open your mind. That's fucking that's like, that's that's trash.
I don't think that God is like that. I don't
think the God of Abraham, I don't. I don't know
if that is what he's pushing.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I will say that that I myself read this to
mean something slightly different, although I do agree with your
sentiment that that if this is about just sort of
keeping people closed minded, then that feels reductive and not
at all like a progress or even a love that
(07:39):
is suggested to be shared by the God above us.
Whatever that said, I thought about my relationship with like spirits,
and in a lot of ways this tracts for me
of like I don't fuck around with Ouiji boards. I
don't fuck around with like haunted houses, like genuine haunted houses.
I'll go to a place one whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
But what what do you mean by that? What do
you mean by jet you at haunted houses?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Like you know how like some people will be like, oh,
this hotel is haunted, we should stay there. I wha
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, you're very serious right now?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Like no, no, no, I will not, and I will choose.
I have the resources to choose differently, and I will
like I don't need that feeling, and I'm not interested
in exploring it just because it's like novel or cute, right.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
But you'll go to like a haunted house, like.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Like a silly one where I know adults are being
paid minimum wage to hide around a corner with chainsaws
that don't work properly.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Because I went to one of those. Me and my
girl went to one of those over at Halloween and
that was fun.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, no, that's a good time.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
I was like, they try to play me. They try
to play me a little bit. What happened? Man? So
we went to the haunted house and then there was
like if you pay like an extra, they like take
you to a secret bar in there and give you
a shot during the Haunted House. Oh so we went.
We went, and we went to the secret bar and
this nigga bro he was pouring drinks and he poured
(09:07):
my girl on. He poured me when he was like,
he looks scared of how I'm not scared though.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah, he thought he could cook you a little bit.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He was trying to cook me. Yeah. Oh, she looks
like you was scared of us. It's the children's playhouse.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I look like I'm not about to tipyo ass. Yeah,
I look like I.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Don't work at the fucking fucking hearted House because I
can't make child support. That's what I look like. I
looked like I fucking took an Uber black. Here you broke, boys,
I didn't drove.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I say, why why are you taking uber blacks.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
I've actually never taken an uber black. I was trying
to impress you guys.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
No it worked, I thought, but no, I I try
not to mess around with sort of like dark spirits
and ghosts and all kinds of things out of fear
that I do think it welcomes some of that into
your world. That like, if you go seeking that shit,
(10:10):
you will find something. Even if that's something you find,
it's just made up in your own head. And so
in that way, I recognize what she's saying to simply
mean like seek it and you shall find it in
both good and bad ways. Now, why the fuck yoga
is her her passion for where Satan is lurking?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I have no idea. Here's what I'm gonna say. Yep,
this is I've lived among the woos, you know what
I mean. I live in San Francisco, Big Witch Country,
Los Angeles, also big Witch Country. If you're far away
and you don't quite know, I understand how these yoga
ladies and men could seem like they were into some
(10:57):
evil shit, you know what I mean, just like glancing
and being like, what are they doing over here? They're
dressed all wacky, they're burning sage and shit like it
could feel like some witchcraft for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, I will say that that to that point with
dog that that ain't doggy style.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I know you that when I come from dogs stand
up right.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
They shake your hand like like a man.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
If you and I.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Will say that to that point, A lot of what
yoga is in America is just a sort of like
cherry picking of other people's cultural identities and like their
actual spirituality. And so in that way, it does feel
like sort of a false manipulation of spirituality, right that,
(11:48):
like the ship that we recognize as yoga is not
what they were doing when Indians invented the ship, you
know what I mean. It's just some some ship that
like some white women took and then like decided to
take some words and leave some words behind in certain poses. Yes,
certain ones know and that that is not not sort
(12:10):
of like fucking around with spirituality in a in a
messed up way.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
I think it does lead to this whole idea of like,
that's why I don't like people when they say they're
just I'm spiritual, because it's like pick a discipline.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, you know what, you gotta commit.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Commit to something you're loosey goosey, then you might as
well just be agnostic. Like what does that mean? I
think this could be true and that you need rules.
There needs to be some sort of rules. It is.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It is the one part of the Bible more than
any other part that I think I most connect with
where it talks about God not wanting you to be lukewarm.
That like a lukewarm person is maybe the worst person
you could be. That you got to be hot or cold.
Either believe in something or don't believe in something. But
(12:56):
like kind of fucking around in the middle is like
danger rus and frankly just condescending to the fundamentals of
the actual belief.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Don't stand for anything for something, Yeah, don't stand for something.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, you didn't get it right for me twice. You
can't fool me again.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I'd rather live on my feet than stand on my knees.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I was getting some head, some head, not if.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
You buck.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, I think you gotta believe in something. And so
for a Leah's grandmother, I think in some ways she's like, well,
these people are being lukewarm spiritual, sort of like cherry pickers,
and I don't like that, and that seems like that's
of the devil, that is of Satan, and so I rejected,
all yeah, I think that's yeah. So so I don't
(14:13):
agree per se that like Aliah, if it makes you
feel better, I think you can do as much yoga
as you want. I don't think the devil sitting on
a mat being like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I think that that's exactly what I think. He's doing.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I think he's hanging out in yoga studio.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I think he's just watching ladies bendover.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
That's the case. You're only selling me on the devil.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I think he's got a toothpick.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, okay, oh somebody's limba.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Look at child's probably should.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Don't look like no child to me, Like they're like
grown woman posed like how women supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Maybe that's what the devil is doing. And if that's
the case, I think more of us should be worshiping
the devil because he sounds like a cool guy. And
then I'm into him.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Is gone sixty. I'm sucking it up now. I did
a spin move? Have you ever done a spin on
the dance floor?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
When I was a when I was in high school,
I was a dancing ass kid, and so yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I used to do.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I used to do, and now as an adult, I
couldn't possibly. I can't even imagine attempting.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Yeah, I can't imagine. That would be crazy. It would
be cool, it would.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It would be cool, But you know, I live with
a constant fear that it won't work.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Now it doesn't Like if you try to commit to
a spin and it doesn't work. I Yeah, that'd be bad.
It's like you're dancing with your wife or something.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It can only ruin my family. Yeah, is it like,
is it that you worry that you would fall down?
I worry about it all. I worry that that I
would fall down. I worry that I don't even make
it the full three sixty and and now I'm just
a dude who tried something and it failed, you know
what I mean, Like there's just so much vulnerability and
when people are counting on you, that.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
You how you feel about the dance? Yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
There's mother fuckers counting on me.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Man, my baby needs me.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah, my baby just needs me to keep being consistent.
I can't. And now and now I could go viral.
Imagine imagine your father going viral because he tried to
do a spin move and it didn't work at.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
The JFL after party.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Come on, and now everybody's like, bro, and my daughter's
going to school and they're making fun of her because
because father failed.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
That's that's fair.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
People are counting on me. I can't risk it.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
No, I listen. I also am conservative on the dance floor,
you know what I mean. I'm a Biden in the streets.
But I'm a trump in the.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Ship there there that there was that run where where
that those kids were doing that sideways moonwalk that like
airwalk ship.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Oh the usher usher is the first.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah. Well no, not that sideways moonwalk. That one I
learned to do when I was in high school. I
could still do that ship sidewalk moon walk walk. Yeah,
I'm talking about that ship where where you're like they're
like skipping sideways.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Oh, that one's fun. Yeah, I like that one.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
The amount of times I practiced that alone in my
home and realize, like, I don't think I'm in a
position to take this into a public space and be successful. Really, Yeah,
because that.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
One seems easier than the sideways movement. It is not.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
It's it's it's just so unnatural to the way that
I move that I don't think I've ever figured out
a way to make it not look like it's Yeah,
it's just you look gumpy and fucking weird or you
look awesome, And I don't know that I ever looked awesome,
So I chose never.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
To bring it out. Yeah, I tried to learn the
sneeze or m the same thing.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, you just gotta you gotta realize, like these l's
are not worth taking after a while. When I was
when I was fifteen, if I didn't do a move good,
So you know what I mean? Like, what are the
repercussions here?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Wait? Can I ask you a series question? Yeah? Have
you ever been in a dance battle?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I'm in many a dance battle. Yeah, this might be
its own episode. Okay, do you have footage? I hope not.
I hope there's no lingering footage of any dance battles
I was in. I pre you know, Thank god, I
think we predated camera phones.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
What was the group called?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
No, I wasn't in like group dance battles. I was
like dance battles at like parties and ship Oh excuse me,
that would be way Lane. Yeah, excuse me. I wasn't assembling.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I wasn't in a group.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I was rogue.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
No, I was a fucking highlander. Baby.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Did you have a dance name?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
No? I didn't have a fucking dance name. I was
just a cool dude who at a party. If it
will happen, I will pop in the middle. And then
another dude. There was this kid that in my high
school named dom Pary young. I wish I was making.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
This up specific to be a lot.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Don Barry he would constantly, you know, the circle would
happen and he would get in and he'd be popping
and ship, and then I would get in and I
would popping me and Don would go back and forth. Damn,
I don't think so. I don't think I ever had
the flexibility for doing back bends and ship. But I
(20:38):
ate his heart sometimes. Yeah, I'd eat his heart. I
pop from the bottom and pass it up and go
back down and snatch his heart and then put it
in my own chest.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And wow, you're a wild guy.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Na I lived a life man.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Yeah, that's very interesting. We'll get more into that.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
We'll get more into that.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Do you have pictures?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I hope, David, I hope there's no documentation of this
period in my life.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Lil Mama's. If you guys could, let's see if I'm
hoping we could find someone who battled you. If you
guys know Dom y'all and he's in the Chicago Land area.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I don't think he left anyway.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Please, we gotta get him on. We gotta get him on.
I would love to hear an oral history of these things.
Don was a great answer.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Man.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I don't know that I want any of the you know,
I wouldn't call myself the champion of those battles, but
he I was. I was honored to be a partisan.
But you got in a ring, you know, I got
in the ring. But yeah, I think to the larger
question at hand, I fear the evil spirits enough that
I am willing to cut myself off from certain activities.
(21:59):
And I recognize that if you are a a stringent
God fearing woman so much so that you're willing to
join the Jehovah's witnesses later in life, then you probably
are afraid of a lot of things that seem vaguely spiritual,
I e. Yoga and poses and whatnot. Beads, beads, sure, yeah,
(22:24):
white women with sage. That's not a good combination.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Jade, come on, get it.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Get that jade out of your goddamn vaginas and put
it back in the earth where it belongs.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Take that jade out of your pusses.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
That's the name of the episode.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Yeah, I think we did it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, I think so. I think we covered it all.
Did you tell the people where they can find you?
And what cool shit you have.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Going on Cool Guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram. All
my stuff is going to be.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
There as always. You can follow me at Langston Kerman
on all social media platform so I'll be there. I
don't be doing nothing, but I'll be there. And if
you want to send us your own conspiracy theories, if
you want to send us your drops, send it all
to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. Give us
a call at eight four or four. Little moms, we
want to talk to you by bitch.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Motherfucking Mini epis mini episo, motherfucking Mini ever sew motherfucking
Mini ever Sel Mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever s
Motherfucking mini episode. Mini episode, motherfucking mini episode.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
What would you do if your son was at home
crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he's hungry?
There it is, there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
to another phenomenal episode, a mini episode of My Mama
Told Me.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of
black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And we finally worked to prove the conspiracy theories that you,
the listener, the little mamas and gentiles alike have at home.
This is a motherfucking mini episode.
Speaker 4 (00:48):
Would have been swallowed up? Have you ever been swallowed up?
Have you gone through a time of swallowing where everything
was overwhelmed?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
You know what's upsetting about that one is the visuals.
It's so long. Yeah, it's so long. It won't stop,
and it's like, bro, you gotta stop.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
But as someone who's been in flow state before, like
you see it when you're like yep, that's how if
you're like that, like when you just can't miss so
you're just going crazy.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
It was cooking too hard.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, I've done it, cause you probably had sets like
that where you're like, oh, I could say anything and
it's gonna work. Yeah, I'm going nuts, you know.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
No, there are times, and it's the reason I despise
the crowd work clips that that our art form has
sort of devolved into. But there are times when you're
like engaging with an audience in such a funny, sincere
way that it it goes on for like minutes, like
(01:54):
I kind.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Of where you're like, oh shit, that riff was fifteen minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, it's just a long ass time. And that's not cutable,
you know what I mean. Like, that's not a thing
that you can chop up and make into like a
thing you offer up to an audience.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
Oh yeah, that's why you don't ever trust a five
second crowd work clip. It's not real. Yeah it wasn't
that funny.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
They had a big laugh and then it stopped really fast.
Yeah yeah, I didn't know how to keep going. Yeah yeah,
it was like somebody said, one interesting thing. Anyways, we're
not here to talk about Stu' it's thinks and the
art that I love has uh has become something that
I barely recognize. But that's not the point of this podcast.
(02:40):
This podcast, especially today, we are we're talking to you
the listener. We're reading your emails. We're engaging with your thoughts,
your suggestions. And we got an email from a person
named Aliyah l I y a h just like the
singer got you personality, mentality a man. Anyways, I miss
(03:01):
her too, she was great. We all miss her.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Nothing nothing I wish they had anyways. I just sometimes
I feel like somebody needed to take care of that
little girl, like you know, yeah, she was like bounched
around to a lot of men. It feels like dark. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
No, I think that's one hundred percent true of a
person who who maybe needed somebody just to look out
for in a way that that she never really got
by the end of it.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
So you want to read an email, No.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Let's just have them the silence. Let's just stood in
that feeling for a second.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Two seconds too later, Sorry, that's okay.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
We got an email from a person named Aliah who
sent us as subject line Satan's Yoga. Satan's Yoga, She says, Hi,
David and length and longtime listener back again with another conspiracy.
This one actually comes from my grandmother, a Southern black
woman who later in life became a Jehovah's witness. One
day later, in life. She started that shit later in life,
(04:15):
that makes more sense.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
In starting it earlier in life, Like, you can't convert
to Jehovah's witness in like your mid twenties.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I don't picture early in life being your mid twenty conversions.
I picture early in your life, meaning you grew up
in the Jehovah. Oh but she converted, she said, right,
And I'm saying that converting to Jehovah's witness is a
silly thing.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
You've already had some birthdays.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, you know what Christmas feels like?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yeah, you go.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Are you shifting back for.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Taking that away from your children? You monster? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
No, that's that's an odd fucking choice. So you want
to go door to door? Okay?
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Anyways, those shit. Your grandma's a sweet woman, earliah or Ns.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
I don't know hard to say the but I'm leaning
towards the latter.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
One man's cuckoo is another man's cocoa puffs.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
One day, after watching a commercial about yoga clothes, she
went on a rant about how doing yoga is evil
and if you meditate, you will mess around and open
up your mind so much you will let satan in.
I understood her to mean meditating can be a pathway
to connect with Satan. Similarly, how praying is a way
to connect with God. I grew up going to church
(05:31):
as well as the Kingdom Hall. So I am conflicted.
I believe in spirits and have an ancestor alter myself.
So just as there is a way to channel the
good spirits, there has to be a way to channel
the bad ones. I'm interested in hearing what you guys
think best.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Aliah, Well, Aliah, I think you're a witch, and I
rebuke thee in the name of the One True Lord. No,
I think that. So here's what I don't like about this, right, Yeah,
(06:08):
the idea of like, if you meditate or you do yoga,
you're gonna open your mind so much. So that's what
like I don't like. It's like, I don't like the
idea that an open mind is what leads to the devil.
That means God wants you to have a closed mind.
That means he's like reductive as fuck and does not
want you to open you up to whatever your true
(06:30):
potential is. He doesn't want you to be free. And
that's not like the God. If that that's not like
a God. I'm trying to.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Say, right, a god that encourages you to sort of
live in a bubble is not a god that you
you recognize.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Well, just like, yeah, any type of like don't open
your mind is a great Like really think about what
you're saying within that. That's like, that's terrible. Nobody okay,
nobody ever leave your small town. Don't never try to
do something that no one in your family did, Like,
don't ever push for anything. Then you know what I'm saying,
(07:07):
don't open your mind. That's fucking that's like, that's that's trash.
I don't think that God is like that. I don't
think the God of Abraham, I don't. I don't know
if that is what he's pushing.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I will say that that I myself read this to
mean something slightly different, although I do agree with your
sentiment that that if this is about just sort of
keeping people closed minded, then that feels reductive and not
at all like a progress or even a love that
(07:39):
is suggested to be shared by the God above us.
Whatever that said, I thought about my relationship with like spirits,
and in a lot of ways this tracts for me
of like I don't fuck around with Ouiji boards. I
don't fuck around with like haunted houses, like genuine haunted houses.
I'll go to a place one whatever.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
But what what do you mean by that? What do
you mean by jet you at haunted houses?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Like you know how like some people will be like, oh,
this hotel is haunted, we should stay there. I wha
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, you're very serious right now?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Like no, no, no, I will not, and I will choose.
I have the resources to choose differently, and I will
like I don't need that feeling, and I'm not interested
in exploring it just because it's like novel or cute, right.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
But you'll go to like a haunted house, like.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Like a silly one where I know adults are being
paid minimum wage to hide around a corner with chainsaws
that don't work properly.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
Because I went to one of those. Me and my
girl went to one of those over at Halloween and
that was fun.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, no, that's a good time.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
I was like, they try to play me. They try
to play me a little bit. What happened? Man? So
we went to the haunted house and then there was
like if you pay like an extra, they like take
you to a secret bar in there and give you
a shot during the Haunted House. Oh so we went.
We went, and we went to the secret bar and
this nigga bro he was pouring drinks and he poured
(09:07):
my girl on. He poured me when he was like,
he looks scared of how I'm not scared though.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Yeah, he thought he could cook you a little bit.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He was trying to cook me. Yeah. Oh, she looks
like you was scared of us. It's the children's playhouse.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
I look like I'm not about to tipyo ass. Yeah,
I look like I.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Don't work at the fucking fucking hearted House because I
can't make child support. That's what I look like. I
looked like I fucking took an Uber black. Here you broke, boys,
I didn't drove.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
I say, why why are you taking uber blacks.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
I've actually never taken an uber black. I was trying
to impress you guys.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
No it worked, I thought, but no, I I try
not to mess around with sort of like dark spirits
and ghosts and all kinds of things out of fear
that I do think it welcomes some of that into
your world. That like, if you go seeking that shit,
(10:10):
you will find something. Even if that's something you find,
it's just made up in your own head. And so
in that way, I recognize what she's saying to simply
mean like seek it and you shall find it in
both good and bad ways. Now, why the fuck yoga
is her her passion for where Satan is lurking?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I have no idea. Here's what I'm gonna say. Yep,
this is I've lived among the woos, you know what
I mean. I live in San Francisco, Big Witch Country,
Los Angeles, also big Witch Country. If you're far away
and you don't quite know, I understand how these yoga
ladies and men could seem like they were into some
(10:57):
evil shit, you know what I mean, just like glancing
and being like, what are they doing over here? They're
dressed all wacky, they're burning sage and shit like it
could feel like some witchcraft for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Yeah, I will say that that to that point with
dog that that ain't doggy style.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I know you that when I come from dogs stand
up right.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
They shake your hand like like a man.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
If you and I.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Will say that to that point, A lot of what
yoga is in America is just a sort of like
cherry picking of other people's cultural identities and like their
actual spirituality. And so in that way, it does feel
like sort of a false manipulation of spirituality, right that,
(11:48):
like the ship that we recognize as yoga is not
what they were doing when Indians invented the ship, you
know what I mean. It's just some some ship that
like some white women took and then like decided to
take some words and leave some words behind in certain poses. Yes,
certain ones know and that that is not not sort
(12:10):
of like fucking around with spirituality in a in a
messed up way.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
I think it does lead to this whole idea of like,
that's why I don't like people when they say they're
just I'm spiritual, because it's like pick a discipline.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah, you know what, you gotta commit.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Commit to something you're loosey goosey, then you might as
well just be agnostic. Like what does that mean? I
think this could be true and that you need rules.
There needs to be some sort of rules. It is.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It is the one part of the Bible more than
any other part that I think I most connect with
where it talks about God not wanting you to be lukewarm.
That like a lukewarm person is maybe the worst person
you could be. That you got to be hot or cold.
Either believe in something or don't believe in something. But
(12:56):
like kind of fucking around in the middle is like
danger rus and frankly just condescending to the fundamentals of
the actual belief.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Don't stand for anything for something, Yeah, don't stand for something.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, you didn't get it right for me twice. You
can't fool me again.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
I'd rather live on my feet than stand on my knees.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I was getting some head, some head, not if.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
You buck.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, I think you gotta believe in something. And so
for a Leah's grandmother, I think in some ways she's like, well,
these people are being lukewarm spiritual, sort of like cherry pickers,
and I don't like that, and that seems like that's
of the devil, that is of Satan, and so I rejected,
all yeah, I think that's yeah. So so I don't
(14:13):
agree per se that like Aliah, if it makes you
feel better, I think you can do as much yoga
as you want. I don't think the devil sitting on
a mat being like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
I think that that's exactly what I think. He's doing.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I think he's hanging out in yoga studio.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
I think he's just watching ladies bendover.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
That's the case. You're only selling me on the devil.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
I think he's got a toothpick.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, okay, oh somebody's limba.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
Look at child's probably should.
Speaker 5 (14:54):
Don't look like no child to me, Like they're like
grown woman posed like how women supposed to be.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Maybe that's what the devil is doing. And if that's
the case, I think more of us should be worshiping
the devil because he sounds like a cool guy. And
then I'm into him.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Is gone sixty. I'm sucking it up now. I did
a spin move? Have you ever done a spin on
the dance floor?
Speaker 2 (15:46):
When I was a when I was in high school,
I was a dancing ass kid, and so yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I used to do.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
I used to do, and now as an adult, I
couldn't possibly. I can't even imagine attempting.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Yeah, I can't imagine. That would be crazy. It would
be cool, it would.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
It would be cool, But you know, I live with
a constant fear that it won't work.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Now it doesn't Like if you try to commit to
a spin and it doesn't work. I Yeah, that'd be bad.
It's like you're dancing with your wife or something.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
It can only ruin my family. Yeah, is it like,
is it that you worry that you would fall down?
I worry about it all. I worry that that I
would fall down. I worry that I don't even make
it the full three sixty and and now I'm just
a dude who tried something and it failed, you know
what I mean, Like there's just so much vulnerability and
when people are counting on you, that.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
You how you feel about the dance? Yeah, like.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
There's mother fuckers counting on me.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Man, my baby needs me.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah, my baby just needs me to keep being consistent.
I can't. And now and now I could go viral.
Imagine imagine your father going viral because he tried to
do a spin move and it didn't work at.
Speaker 3 (17:14):
The JFL after party.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Come on, and now everybody's like, bro, and my daughter's
going to school and they're making fun of her because
because father failed.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
That's that's fair.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
People are counting on me. I can't risk it.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
No, I listen. I also am conservative on the dance floor,
you know what I mean. I'm a Biden in the streets.
But I'm a trump in the.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Ship there there that there was that run where where
that those kids were doing that sideways moonwalk that like
airwalk ship.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Oh the usher usher is the first.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah. Well no, not that sideways moonwalk. That one I
learned to do when I was in high school. I
could still do that ship sidewalk moon walk walk. Yeah,
I'm talking about that ship where where you're like they're
like skipping sideways.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Oh, that one's fun. Yeah, I like that one.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
The amount of times I practiced that alone in my
home and realize, like, I don't think I'm in a
position to take this into a public space and be successful. Really, Yeah,
because that.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
One seems easier than the sideways movement. It is not.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
It's it's it's just so unnatural to the way that
I move that I don't think I've ever figured out
a way to make it not look like it's Yeah,
it's just you look gumpy and fucking weird or you
look awesome, And I don't know that I ever looked awesome,
So I chose never.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
To bring it out. Yeah, I tried to learn the
sneeze or m the same thing.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, you just gotta you gotta realize, like these l's
are not worth taking after a while. When I was
when I was fifteen, if I didn't do a move good,
So you know what I mean? Like, what are the
repercussions here?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Wait? Can I ask you a series question? Yeah? Have
you ever been in a dance battle?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
I'm in many a dance battle. Yeah, this might be
its own episode. Okay, do you have footage? I hope not.
I hope there's no lingering footage of any dance battles
I was in. I pre you know, Thank god, I
think we predated camera phones.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
What was the group called?
Speaker 2 (19:33):
No, I wasn't in like group dance battles. I was
like dance battles at like parties and ship Oh excuse me,
that would be way Lane. Yeah, excuse me. I wasn't assembling.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
I wasn't in a group.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I was rogue.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
No, I was a fucking highlander. Baby.
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Did you have a dance name?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
No? I didn't have a fucking dance name. I was
just a cool dude who at a party. If it
will happen, I will pop in the middle. And then
another dude. There was this kid that in my high
school named dom Pary young. I wish I was making.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
This up specific to be a lot.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Don Barry he would constantly, you know, the circle would
happen and he would get in and he'd be popping
and ship, and then I would get in and I
would popping me and Don would go back and forth. Damn,
I don't think so. I don't think I ever had
the flexibility for doing back bends and ship. But I
(20:38):
ate his heart sometimes. Yeah, I'd eat his heart. I
pop from the bottom and pass it up and go
back down and snatch his heart and then put it
in my own chest.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
And wow, you're a wild guy.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Na I lived a life man.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Yeah, that's very interesting. We'll get more into that.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
We'll get more into that.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Do you have pictures?
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I hope, David, I hope there's no documentation of this
period in my life.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
Lil Mama's. If you guys could, let's see if I'm
hoping we could find someone who battled you. If you
guys know Dom y'all and he's in the Chicago Land area.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I don't think he left anyway.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
Please, we gotta get him on. We gotta get him on.
I would love to hear an oral history of these things.
Don was a great answer.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Man.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
I don't know that I want any of the you know,
I wouldn't call myself the champion of those battles, but
he I was. I was honored to be a partisan.
But you got in a ring, you know, I got
in the ring. But yeah, I think to the larger
question at hand, I fear the evil spirits enough that
I am willing to cut myself off from certain activities.
(21:59):
And I recognize that if you are a a stringent
God fearing woman so much so that you're willing to
join the Jehovah's witnesses later in life, then you probably
are afraid of a lot of things that seem vaguely spiritual,
I e. Yoga and poses and whatnot. Beads, beads, sure, yeah,
(22:24):
white women with sage. That's not a good combination.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
Jade, come on, get it.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Get that jade out of your goddamn vaginas and put
it back in the earth where it belongs.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Take that jade out of your pusses.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
That's the name of the episode.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
Yeah, I think we did it.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yeah, I think so. I think we covered it all.
Did you tell the people where they can find you?
And what cool shit you have.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Going on Cool Guy Jokes eighty seven on Instagram. All
my stuff is going to be.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
There as always. You can follow me at Langston Kerman
on all social media platform so I'll be there. I
don't be doing nothing, but I'll be there. And if
you want to send us your own conspiracy theories, if
you want to send us your drops, send it all
to my Mama pod at gmail dot com. Give us
a call at eight four or four. Little moms, we
want to talk to you by bitch.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Motherfucking Mini epis mini episo, motherfucking Mini ever sew motherfucking
Mini ever Sel Mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever s
Hosts And Creators
Langston Kerman
David Gborie
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