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June 6, 2024 19 mins

Langston and David answer a listener's email about Jehovah's Witnesses being the Black version of Scientology.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini EPI, sel.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hood Rat, Sweet lot A hood Rats. Welcome to another
phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me. Little Mama's and
Gentiles are like.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Hey, the podcast where we dive deep, deep into the
pockets of black conspiracy theories.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
And we finally worked to prove the conspiracies of you,
the listener. It's a motherfucking mini episode. Motherfucking mini episode.
Come on, Yeah, we got an email. We got an email.
We got an email here from someone very exciting. Got
us from i'd say, from the from the title right.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Yeah, No, it was a it was a spicy title,
I would say, right from the beginning the subject line.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
They hit us. Whatever you want to read it, Yep,
Jehovah's Witness, black scientology, question.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Mark, question mark. That's where they got me. Is that
is that they weren't telling me, they were asking.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
That's what I like that. I like that you like
it when they imposed it is a question. That's where
I always jump off board.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
With conspiracy theories. It's when people just tell you the
shit true. They have questions where they're like, bro, I'm
not saying I know for sure, but ain't we all
curious about this? That's when I'm like, damn, we are curious,
and I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
That is true because I think a lot of times
with conspiracy theories, it comes up, it comes off as
somebody trying to sun you type shit yes to be
like you didn't know, and it's like, yeah, bro, you
don't have a job. None of us know. Yeah, what
are you talking about? Are you out of your mind?
You get to talk to me like this. Yeah, we

(01:56):
are at a barbershop. We both don't read my man,
we don't know nothing. It smells like weed in here.
Absolutely not.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
I don't like that shit. But when they go and
you ever thought about this? And I go, absolutely, I
have thought about it, and I thank god there's someone
else out there doing the same thing exactly.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
That So good, good question. Let's get into it. Hey,
Leangson and David found the podcast through your guest spot
on Fraudsters. What's Up? What's Up? Immediately listen to everything
you put out and loved it. Just waiting for that
next ray Ja episode or Carlo sexletter. Okay, well he
want us to get shot? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
What do you want one from us? We gotta say
more bad things about ray J, and we keep though
we were pro ray J.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Ultimately, who isn't Senator ray J.

Speaker 4 (02:55):
One day, hopefully Chancellor ray j E everything goes right,
because he would have to go by ray J if
he was in office.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Yeah, he's not gonna do that weird thing where he
starts using his full government that.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
No, he's praid. Yeah, we know who we voted for. Yeah,
sexy cannot all right. My mama told me the Jehovah's
Witnesses are the black version of scientology. I was raised
Jehovah's witness and it was in a congregation with people

(03:40):
grew up. This is well ridden. Let's put a who there,
I think, Yeah, with people who grew up with all
sorts of black famous folks. If you think about it,
it's weird how many black folks that are famous were
raised or still our witnesses. I do sure. The Williams sisters,
the Wayne's brothers, the Jackson family, Prince Kat Williams, so
many more. Some of them were just raised as witnesses,

(04:03):
but it is strange that they still talk pretty positive
about them, even if they aren't active believers. Can't wait
to see what you come up with. As this is
a letter, we have done no research, so we will
purely speculate.

Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yeah, that's it is crazy when you really sit back
and think about it.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
How many people.

Speaker 3 (04:23):
There's a few names on that list that that weren't mentioned,
and I'm I'm gonna out of respect not list them.
But I know a few other pretty famous people who
grew up fucking Jehovah's Witnesses.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
It's I've always thought that it because I think I
do think of Jehovah's Witnesses as more of an extreme
form of religion than most. And it seems like as
far as like an extremist type religion, it has a
higher black congregation than most other Dude, does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, I think Jehovah's Witnesses, maybe I'm speaking out of turn,
are primarily black. I think that's when I think of
Jehovah's Witnesses, I think of black people.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
I've also known a lot of pis Pacific Islanders. Oh,
but it's a minority religion. Yeah, is it? Because now
that I'm thinking about it, I guess I haven't experienced
it with white people very much. You know, one thing
that's interesting about Jehovah's witness too. When I was in
ser Leon, only white person I ever saw was a

(05:36):
Jehovah's witness. She had been there, She had been there
throughout the entire war, spoke perfect creole because I remember thinking,
I was like, they are about it like it, you
know what I mean, this is a time. It's not
great to be there. Yeah, you're like, nah, I still
like it. They're like, we're here. We're like they came
to my uncle's door, like trying to talk about God

(05:57):
and ship. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
No, I I think Jehovah's witnesses almost entirely as black people.
But that might be some Midwestern shit, and maybe it
exists in other forms other places. But but it is crazy.
The numbers don't match because, frankly, not that many Jehovah's witnesses.
It's not like I grew up around a ton of

(06:19):
Jehovah's witnesses, right, I just know successful ones from that experience,
And that's weird.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
It is. I wonder is there something.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
And I don't.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
I don't know too much about it, so I don't
want to like the brutalized their belief system or anything,
but it does seem very rigorous. They're disciplined to it,
and I wonder if that is what attracts more disenfranchised
people like the military. Right, Like the difficulty of it

(06:58):
is because they don't sell it, right, birthdays or anything
like that.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
Right, don't celebrate birthdays, don't celebrate the holidays. All of
that is like, I mean, I'm probably speaking out of turn,
but I think it's like everything should be dedicated towards
getting yourself one of those very exclusive spots in heaven.
And we don't have time for all of these worldly
possessions and fucking you know, antiquated celebrations. We gotta get

(07:29):
to the fucking pearly gates.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, that's a crazy shit. I don't think they have
even they do. They have limited spots, oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 3 (07:39):
Which is why they're going door to door. Is like
they are making people aware that, like, yo, you can
either get in this shit or you can't, and we
you gotta get down if you're planning on making it
to the upper room.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Scarcity is a great sales tactic. I bought some steaks
off a dude who did that to me once.

Speaker 3 (08:05):
I was reading, so I apologize with the late reaction
but it was still funny enough that it broke me
out of a very.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
Dense language to be like you what all right? I
was like, I was like twenty man. The meank guy
came by and with the whole man, it's the end
of the I don't even fine. I'll guarantee you for that,
like is sales ship Jesus. Okay, you never bought me
door to door? Okay, I'm gonna never once. All right,

(08:33):
fuck me, I guess I don't. I don't be opening
the door for people, though.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
I'll look. I'll look at you through the window and go, uhh,
I love a deal. No, I know I don't say
no with enough base in my voice to make this
Amanda Man conversation.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
You know that's actually very that's that's really reasonable of you.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
I know you're gonna look at me and you're gonna
think I'm a I'm a mark, I'm all the things
that you, you, the fucking leech want, and I'm not
gonna put myself in that weak position. No, thank you,
through the door.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Sir man. I really appreciate that about you. Thanks Doc.
We're calling upon you because we have we have new
merch we have very exciting merch that we are now
selling and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

(09:33):
Just sleek, it's sexy. Come on, you want to tell
them what we have? Yeah, we have three different types
of hats, which is really fun. We have a two
tone hat, an alien dad hat, the traditional logo in
black and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with
an alien who has a coofie on it. Since my
mama told me. And then we have t shirts that

(09:54):
say proud little Mama, which is who you are. Yeah,
you can buy the merch now, go to my my
mamma told me dot merch table dot com. It's a
brand new name, but it's the same old merch and
we would love for you to get some if you
haven't got it already, and we want you to have
all the sweet stuff, so get it. So black people's Scientology.

(10:19):
My only pushback on this idea is dud Jovah's witnesses
wield the power that scientology does.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
That's where I think it gets interesting, right, is that
they I think I often think of them as not
only a black organization, but I also think of them
as a pretty poor organization as far as Christianity is concerned.

Speaker 2 (10:43):
That's the feeling I always get.

Speaker 3 (10:46):
Like, I think it feels very grassroots and sort of
like a dedicated swath of people are just willing to
live their lives in poverty unfortunately because they are so
dedicated to this religion. And so, no, I don't think
of it as a wealthy thing, but I do think

(11:06):
where I start to go, oh, maybe there's a different
logic to it is to your point about it being
sort of like regimented, I think it kind of gives
you a discipline for achieving your goals that other religions don't, you.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Like a lot of general Christianity is just like apologize
for the bad thing that you did, and eventually God
will forgive you and you can reset. And with Jehovah's Witnesses,
it's like, no, I have to either get into heaven
or I have to be the most successful person on
planet Earth to make up for the fact that I

(11:43):
didn't do all the Jehovah's witness stuff the way it
was supposed to.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
Interesting, you think that's what leads there to be like
maybe a lot of people like in the Famous space
who have that background. Yeah, it's just this weird internal
drive that having to go door to door and you know, right, like,
I can't get out of heaven. I can't get a
purple warehouse and make some incredible music. Yeah exactly.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
I can't get into heaven, but I can turn this
little section of Minnesota into heaven.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
And have you ever seen it from the outside? It's huge? Yeah, no,
I know.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
It's the fact that it's a park is insane that
people can visit and shit.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah basically yeah, yeah, but also understated on the outside. Anyways,
So to this, I would say that I think it's
a good scam. I don't think that. I don't think
that Jehovah's Witnesses because they don't seem to wield into that.
I mean probably that they really truly are down for

(12:47):
their cause they don't seem to wield their power. Like
you don't see, like you know, how that that giant
scientology building in it like corn. I don't feel like
you ever see anything like that. I don't even know.
I don't even think I've seen like a huge Jehovah's
Witness church before, like an actual large church will be.

Speaker 3 (13:08):
No, I there's no there's no Jehovah's Witness celebrity Center
outside UCB ran like scientology got that, but yeah, not
fucking you know what I mean. So's it's weird to
think that like Jehovah's Witnesses are somehow wielding an insane
amount of power. On the flip, a part of me

(13:30):
wonders if maybe that's just them managing their power better
where they go like, hey, we are secretly powerful, but
we ain't gonna make it noisy, and we are going
to make sure our our people either are the most
dedicated to the religion or the most dedicated towards becoming
wealthy and sustaining our our organization.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Yeah, I mean they want to be rich, they wouldn't
be incerely, that's fair.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
But there's a few pretty rich guys in Sierra Leone unfortunately,
and that I would assume the diamond people are doing
pretty well.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
They're not from there. Yeah there, now they spend some time.
Yeahs is out there. He's making that city and stuff
that could be good. And he lives in Leone. No,
he's he's like trying to make a smart city. He's
half cerely on just no no, no, he's like it's

(14:33):
it must be his mom, because Idris Elba is not
a serially union name as I know. But yeah, he's
like half Gunny and half I got you. That makes
way more sense. But anyways, I do like the I
like this idea, but I hope it's true. I also
think it's better that they're not another Scientology. I don't

(14:54):
think we need another one, right, I don't know. I
I guess a part of me helps it.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
This is real that like secretly this organization is is
figuring out ways to create both Michael Jackson and Prince.
That seems pretty exciting.

Speaker 2 (15:10):
I don't know if that's where they're going with this.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
Yeah, I don't think that they're saying good things good
only good things come out of Scientology.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
I get it.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
We already know that these people are being abused by
the religion.

Speaker 2 (15:26):
I thought that went without saying.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
You know it's yeah, I don't think that any organized
religion that takes that much sort of like social equity
from you has frankly your best intentions at heart. But
that's not my business, especially if they can give me
the sultry sounds of Teeto Jackson.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
That's fair, that's fair. A lot of hits a lot
of hits back to back. You put up to Jehovah's
witnesses with other churches, hit for it. Come on pretty
astounding record.

Speaker 3 (16:06):
Good luck non Denominational Christianity. Yeah, you ain't got a
shot in hell.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
Nobody gives a fuck about the Unitarian, Beams Mormon. What
the have y'all made? And I say that as an
ordained Unitarian minister. That's the one if you marry your friends.
So if you need me to marry you, get at me.

(16:34):
Tour bucks queen. He washed his hands of you after
two hundred bucks playing ticket. Let me dance with a
couple of bridesmaids. We'll get you done, get you taken
care of. So a.

Speaker 3 (16:49):
Well, I think we did it. Non labeled listener writer,
thank you for sending this. This was very sweet, and
I hope I hope that you're or secretly, I hope
that your family wields an insane amount of power that
we are unaware of. Because boys that list impressive.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
Yeah, I think that's reasonable. Hell yeah, do you want
to tell the people where they can find you what
cool shit you got going on?

Speaker 3 (17:15):
Fuck yeah, find me at Langston Herman on all social
media platforms uh and uh if you have followed me,
I don't know. I got really a lot of other
stuff happening at the moment. But oh, if you want
to send it, Oh, no, you.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Tell them, you tell them. Okay, we'll switch it for real. Okay,
I don't know, No, No, I got it. I got it.
I gotta do. I can do I can I could
do it. I could do it. Uck cool guy jokes
eighty seven on Instagram, Patreon dot com, backslash David Bory
for free updates on my special birth of a nation.
And if you want to send us some drops, if

(17:51):
you want to tell us about what Jehovah has done
for you personally, any of that, send all those emails
to my Mama told at gmail dot Nope, okay, mama
pod at gmail dot com. My mama pod at you.
I've never emailed us, you know what I'm saying. I
don't know my own phone number. Uh, my mama pod

(18:12):
at gmail dot com. If you want some merchandise to
cover your titties big and or small, come on go
to my Mama Told Me dot merchantable dot com. Like, subscribe, comment, review,
share with your friends, have listen parties weekly, your game

(18:33):
night is trash. Nobody enjoys this. Throw on the latest
episode of My Mama told me get to the bottom
of these deep issues with the ones you love the most.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yeah, throw it on and shut the fuck up. Yeah,
I want the whole party to shut the fuck up
and listen. You're not gonna put this on his background
noise at your party.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
You slow and you learn exactly that, and uh, you know,
take care of yourselves. This sign off part is hard,
and the black man is god bye, bitch. Oh my gosh,

(19:15):
the cat. Get the cat out of here.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
Oh, absolutely not, cat, you got to go. Motherfucking mini
Episol mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever Sel. Motherfucking Mini ever
Sel Mini episode. Mother fucking Mini ever Sel.
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