Steppin' on Cracks and Breakin' Backs (with Jazmyn W)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
You know, I've never dated anybody like that or even
like been around a guy who was shorter that had
that sort of mentality. But I did a show in
New York this past weekend and there was a guy
like in the front and he was as soon as
I said I came out talking about short man, and
as soon as I he like was not happy. Yeah,
And he was heckling me a little bit. And his

(00:23):
girlfriend was like, but he's five eight. I was like, girl, no,
he's not.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
He's not.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
And you know when you yelled and why you yelled
that out anyway exists.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
That's an actual number. I think you're you're either five
seven or five nine and one of those yeah spinning.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
That's like how a lot of structures don't have a
thirteenth floor.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah. Guy was like, that's a dangerous
height to y'all. Funny you find he you'll tip over.
We gotta do five to seven five nine.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Chips in yours.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
A Kuala bears are racist.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Layers money stuff, I can't tell me.

Speaker 5 (01:28):
We were five steps from e turnty boar STAPs, four
steps past LP and three wishes. We went three whishats
from touching the heavens above there it is there.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
It is ladies and gentlemen, little Mama's and gentizza. Like,
welcome to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
Me, America's foremost Drew Hill podcast. Because I love him.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Boys, they are just fine in my book.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Come on last Starr and B group to have a
fat guy?

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Really?

Speaker 3 (02:13):
Who did it? Since?

Speaker 4 (02:14):
Then?

Speaker 6 (02:15):
No, Day twenty six wasn't one of the guys a
little thing?

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Fair enough?

Speaker 3 (02:19):
What year is that? Day twenty six?

Speaker 2 (02:21):
Day twenty six is two thousand and four. Okay, that's what. Okay,
I will say, Okay, I will say they redefined what
thick is.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
Though he's not Woody fat Woody Drew Hill. He's a
fat guy. They're a fat guy who could sit there.
They were truly like, no, we want a big one.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Yeah that's what. Yeah, it's a very different thing. Like
Day twenty six was like, oh, he ain't he don't
take his shirt off, right, right, he gets his shirt on,
but he wearing the same outfit as you. Just keep
his shirt on.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
And that's not what Woody was doing. Jazz was doing.
Jazz was the longest coake.

Speaker 7 (03:03):
Right, Yeah, he would have the different because s Nocchio
would have arms damn near nips out.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Cisco's got the tigers showing yes, and.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Then they dressed him in various colors of Morpheus. Okay,
just long black leather, long long green leather. It was
whatever they could cover.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Up with to jazz in the trench Man. That was
that was a good times.

Speaker 6 (03:31):
Yeah only Cisco actually yeah.

Speaker 7 (03:36):
Yeah, they're from Baltimore, but Drew Hill was a parking
in their neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (03:41):
After a park really yeah, wow, I got to rush
up on my black history.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
I don't know if we qualify this that is.

Speaker 7 (03:49):
It's just a weird I just got really I was
really into them for some reason.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
I think given the state of the world, we can't
afford to replace old knowledge with Drew Hill.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Now that's true.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, do you know what I mean? Like, and it's
no shaded Drew Hill. I'm such a big fan of y'all.
Please come do the show plenty one bro.

Speaker 7 (04:08):
Any one of y'all could sit down with us, typically jazz,
but also anyone and.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
You better wear that coat. But the point is, I
think we're in a state of the world where we
cannot go like, hey, where my local water supply is
gets replaced with like which one of them is the tallest?
Do you know what I mean? That's dangerous.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
I like that. I'm interested in that because do you
think that that was because are you? Are you millennial too?

Speaker 6 (04:42):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Okay?

Speaker 7 (04:43):
Do you think that's why as millennials we are having
such a tough time like coping with the world because
we gained all that knowledge only to have it not
be necessary at all because you have to pay attention
to politics.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
I think that we really are the smartest generation.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
That doesn't feel like everybody thinks that, though I.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
Bet they do, But I think in a genuine way,
I think that we were the generation that benefited the
most from like resources of being able to reach across
the world and learn things via the internet, without the
Internet being so consuming on our spirit that we didn't
still want to reach out and discover and like research

(05:28):
and be a part of the larger thing. I think
now everything is like so compartmentalized that you could learn
about the world, but you only learn about Drew Hill knowledge, right,
do you know what I mean? Or whatever their version
of Drew Hill knowledge is.

Speaker 7 (05:43):
And I had that knowledge in the nineties.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
And I don't think I replace. I just you just
have to add happy knowledge items. Those are joyous knowledge
items that you add to all of the other chaotic things.
And I don't know if millennials are are the smartest.
I feel like that's subjective, but I feel like we
are the most adaptable. There's no generation before us or

(06:08):
after us that will be able to adapt the way
that we have adapted to the changes.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
I agree, because the transition from like the transition that
we went through is crazier than anybody else's.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (06:20):
We went from the old world to the new world. Yeah,
and we were born in the old world. We came of.

Speaker 7 (06:26):
Age in the digital era, and now we're firmly in
the new world. And we're the last ones who remember
that until whatever generation rejects.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yeah, the craziest until the water.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Wars not worry about technology anymore, and then they go
back to learning how to do shit.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Yeah. The craziest thing Back to the Future could imagine
was a skateboard with a rocket on it. We're like,
we've seen it now. Yeah, you know what I mean,
Like you are your wildest dreams. We saw it come
true and we kept rocket.

Speaker 6 (06:55):
Yeah yeah, wait, where's the skateboard? With a rocket the
future too. Yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (07:03):
Don't know. But the electronic skateboards, yes, yeah.

Speaker 8 (07:10):
Okay, okay, those came out.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Trying to start some ship.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Just wear that that skateboard was.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Just genuinely what the pot was more about.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
Science has evolved to the state of skateboards and rockets.
It's not that they're accessible for all of us. Shame
on you our guest today. We're so happy. She's heious.
She's hilarious. She's a person all over the goddamn internet.
If you're a fan of stand up comedy, you've seen
her work. She's so funny. She's on tour now. It's

(07:44):
a mini tours. She told us. She said, don't take
this seriously as a tour, but you can come and
see her. She doesn't respect those that are coming. She
said that too. She said, this ain't a real tour
if they're showing up fools. But she is out in
the in the on the road now being hilarious. Gip
it up for Jasmine. W everybody, hold on now, I

(08:09):
didn't know.

Speaker 9 (08:10):
It was.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
Yeah, oh oh god, Jasmine, thank you for being.

Speaker 6 (08:26):
I'm so excited. Thank y'all for having me. Everybody take
a sip.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
You take a sip, and then already we time it
out perfectly. We get this bad boy started.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
You came Jasmine with a conspiracy theory that I don't
even know if we can technically call it a conspiracy
theory as much as allure, a mysticism in the air
that's existed throughout my entire childhood. I some all of

(08:58):
our childhoods. I don't know its origins. In my heart
of hearts, you said, my mama told me if you
step on a crack, you'll break your mama's back.

Speaker 6 (09:14):
Man, Yeah, good one.

Speaker 7 (09:16):
Did you ever and this is just me maybe do
you ever remember as a kid putting it into practice
until it got too tiring?

Speaker 3 (09:26):
WHOA, I was walking mad blocks as I was outside,
So you're really.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
Trying to socialize, trying to kill your mom.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
I was just like a while, it's just like, God,
he's taking me forevery I have somewhere to Beah, you know.

Speaker 7 (09:41):
What I'm saying. And it's so many cracks. I'm like,
I think she's man, she could take one crack, one crack,
and then it's just like now you're just.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
Walking After a while, you just gotta I remember it
being like yeah, I really remember that.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
That's so real though, because it is sort of like
I thought of it. Okay, this is conspiracy. First of all,
it was really tough for me to find a conspiracy
because I believe in them.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
So I'm like, it's not real. Sounds like this is.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
A playful one. But at some point you do forget
about the game.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
You you have to like, yeah, you have to.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Be willing to risk it all.

Speaker 3 (10:16):
Yeah, because like other ones like don't split a pool
is not hard, right, Yeah, I still I still don't.

Speaker 6 (10:25):
Split a poll when you're walking with somebody.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah, to this day, Oh really, I don't really do that.

Speaker 3 (10:30):
But it's just it's not because it's not that many
say there's so many cracks. Yes, there's so many cracks.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
You really have to walk weird to be able to
achieve the don't step on the crack.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
That was always the difficulty.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah, were you a child repeating this? Was that like
something that you were telling people and you believe for
yourself or were you just you know, going along with
the folks that said it kind of thing?

Speaker 6 (10:58):
No, I was.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
I was the person starting it. I love a little
bit you know of an icebreaker, you know, I love,
a little gay, a little icebreaker, a little challenge.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Little squid game, just to make everybody feel loose, everybody.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Have a good time.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Hey, you hang out with me, I might kill your mama.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
Just your mom.

Speaker 7 (11:23):
It's like directly related to your actions. Yes, right, it's
like no one else can step on their c It's like.

Speaker 2 (11:28):
Yeah, but it's a mind game that I'm introducing. Jeffrey
Dahmer is essentially he Yeah, that was that was elite.

Speaker 3 (11:39):
I would say, you know, you're introducing the sort of
violence that then overtakes your peers and everyone.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Well, it's really a lesson of how your actions have consequence.

Speaker 2 (11:51):
WHOA That sounds like something Jeffrey would saying.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Don't slip up, you get sinister at the end. But
it is like that's how you feel after a while.
I gotta risk it to get Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:03):
No, that's very fair.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
That's important. Do your kids do it? Do you tell
your daughter about it?

Speaker 2 (12:08):
No?

Speaker 3 (12:09):
Seeing that interesting. I've never introduced this at all, would you,
m man? No, I don't know, because here's this is
just me thinking as a psychopath. You tell her that
and you make her believe it. Now, she can't run
off like that, right, in a real way, because you
got to look at the ground. You gotta it's all
about trapping children.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
You're saying, it's like an electric fence around our home.
Is this fear of stepping on over hurting her mother?
She loves, who she was trying to run away from.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Okay, well all right.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
Kids want to have a three year old Okay, you
want to prove.

Speaker 6 (12:46):
You They want to prove you wrong. Yeah, they're a
little bit.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
Mean, they are. They are vicious, vicious people. Yeah, that's
that doesn't feel like she wouldn't do it, kid? Yeah.

Speaker 6 (13:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
And then if you said, like if you said like
ow and fell down, they would then turn it into
a game where like they're just stomping on cracks everywhere
you go. Man.

Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, you know what I mean. I
feel like I really overstepped my boundary.

Speaker 2 (13:25):
According you know, they're going to be smarter than us.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
But no, I don't think so.

Speaker 6 (13:29):
I actually think I actually think that.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
Way more, way earlier than we were, especially we tapped out. Baby,
you think it's us, I think it's us, all right.
I just I have a hard time thinking everybody didn't
think that.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
I I think the world is going to devolve in
a way where information is not going to hold value anymore.
And I think it's just going to be about a bit.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
I think it will cycle through. I think it's like
you're not looking on it big enough.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
Oh you think it's to keep growing and we're going
to move past like radiation and fucking start.

Speaker 3 (14:07):
I'm not saying there won't be a Yeah, there won't
be some type of maybe a pairing down because we
have so many people.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
But yeah, I think we get through it. Oh wow, Well.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
What I don't even understand what that means where information
won't matter anymore?

Speaker 6 (14:21):
To me? Information is everything.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, agreed, it's.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Me looking around this room, it's every single thing. So
how do you get to the point where that doesn't matter?
I don't understand.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
I don't mean information in terms of how you process
the world. I mean information as in this just loose
access to all things. I think that we created the
Internet with the intention of connecting everybody and everything, right
so that at anything, at anything that I want to learn,

(14:51):
I could theoretically learn about through this giant resource. And
I'm saying that we were in the perfect position for
managing that resource in a way that actually created intellectual value.
I think beyond that, it's going to create like this
want for specific pieces of information for survival, for function,

(15:15):
for socializing in a new way of living. But we
had to take information off here and bring it to
another person, and that person had to then know stuff
to fact check it. There were agreed upon facts that
existed that just will not exist anymore, and that intelligence
isn't going to hold the same value.

Speaker 3 (15:37):
I think that I understand that idea.

Speaker 7 (15:42):
I do think that there's a rejection of that at
some point, just like everything get like, don't I don't
think this like this way that we're living with technology.

Speaker 3 (15:52):
In our like in our lives all the time.

Speaker 7 (15:55):
I think at some point some generation either something happens
which is the big worry, or like some general the
generation rejects it.

Speaker 3 (16:04):
Just in the like on the internet, my parents did that.
That's corny. I think that we do leave this and
we go back again, because there's been like dark ages, right,
There's been periods of like anti intellectualists and all that
shit for like long times and then we get out
of it, right that shit, it's just like it's cyclical.
I don't I don't believe that the Internet is just
like harbinger of doom that we can never escape. I

(16:26):
don't think that.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
I I think you're probably right that it is cyclical,
and I would say that the cycle, as far as
I can tell, is always paired with a tragedy. It's
not cyclical just because people sober up and go like,
oh that's man, I ain't trying to do it.

Speaker 3 (16:45):
Oh no, I mean I.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Think something I thought major is going to have to
happen in order for us to be talking about whatever
the next version is. And at that point that's not
on my record book. Baby, starting that's what I'm saying.
I'm saying, as far as are the world that we've
lived in, we are the smartest generation.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Okay, yeah, okay, I'm going to say something a little
bit controversial.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah this is crazy. You got more serious than it. Yeah,
this is real fun. Wanted to argue with me, I
don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 4 (17:24):
You let my.

Speaker 2 (17:25):
Silly statement just be a similar statement was serious.

Speaker 3 (17:29):
It was so dark, you know, He's like he made
it sound like he made like a butcher.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
I was silly, whack a mole, and y'all came in
trying to hit me.

Speaker 6 (17:40):
You actually brought us doom. You got doom into the room.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
Disagree?

Speaker 1 (17:47):
No, I think that everybody's talking about anti intellectualism, and
I hate when words become so popular that I see
him on TikTok comments every day. But a part of a
little of that makes me a little bit excited because
the people in the past who determine what intellectual, what
it meant to be intellectual, maybe we're breaking that down.

(18:09):
Maybe those people no longer have power over what is
intellectual anymore. And that is a little bit exciting, isn't it.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Yeah, that is like a new world.

Speaker 7 (18:19):
I think it's like, yeah, that is exciting because it's
like even like like IQ tests and stuff like that.
You hear about all that shit was biased, right, Yeah,
So it's like maybe it is breaking down in the
system that's more beneficial to guys who might be kind
of dumb.

Speaker 6 (18:35):
Exactly.

Speaker 10 (18:36):
Yeah, idiots, it's our time. I like this, This is
how I went. There's a good time to be kind
of dumb.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
It is a great time to be to be at
the very least pseudo smart.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
Dumb guys are up you.

Speaker 2 (18:55):
You just have to know how to fake it smart
a little bit. And people are like Yep, that's enough.

Speaker 3 (19:01):
Yeah, nobody's checking anything. Anybody saying. Man, that sound right
to me, and I like, I like how poised you
were when you said it's how we have a job. Yeah,
what do you think we're doing in here?

Speaker 2 (19:13):
This is all made up.

Speaker 6 (19:14):
We're just saying a bunch of big words.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
I don't know what most of them me. I'm surprised
at the time. I saone, you said that, you don't
know that one?

Speaker 3 (19:25):
So many times we seeing some ship and I'll be like,
I'm going to say that to Langston on the camera.
It's the week I gotta like planet.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
I just spit out my dream. This is gregious.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Yeah, they were watching it before we started the podcast.
They were watching videos of t I out there.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Viewing. She don't know that's how we pray, but that
is true. That is true. We were watching TI videos.

Speaker 3 (19:51):
He was saying expeditionally, Yeah, that was one of his words. Man,
I wish I could be a word guy. Though it
feels like fun, it's just like I don't have the
courage in casual conversation to just throw them out.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
All the time.

Speaker 7 (20:09):
Is a thing, very a courageous way to live, you know,
very much.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
You know it's fucked up.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
I am a little bit of a word guy, but
the whole every time I throw out one, I'm like
in my head being like, is that the definition of that?
I hope so? And then I keep going and that's
where I.

Speaker 3 (20:26):
Yeah, I mean, listen, if you do it confidently, like
you said, nobody's checking.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
Nobody's checking, and that's a shame.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
I do you do?

Speaker 6 (20:33):
I listen.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
I think I'm well spoken, but I do not have
like what I would consider a very large vocabulary.

Speaker 6 (20:42):
So I'd be like, let me.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
That time. I've already moved on to spitiously.

Speaker 11 (20:55):
You gotta trick the brain, like anyway.

Speaker 7 (21:01):
That is how I get got sometimes watching videos where
I'm like, n six seven and two minutes, bro.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
I'm about to say something nasty and maybe y'all ain't
agree with this, but that's that was Pharaoh montch for me.
Oh yeah, that was what Pharaoh mons. You remember him?

Speaker 3 (21:19):
No, he was a rapper in the early two thousand
Orange Simon says, was like the big hit.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
Yeah he had. He was like, he was the most conscious.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
He was conscious, one of the smart guy rappers.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Times.

Speaker 7 (21:32):
I put him above even like to live and most
it was parah Mont was supposed to be like you know,
to him.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
I think everybody realized he was just saying big words.
Oh Like I think everybody just sobered up and was like,
what the fuck is he talking about?

Speaker 1 (21:49):
But in the raps or outside of the rap rap
that's what's the issue with that though, Like that's kind
of cool.

Speaker 6 (21:56):
You can use really big worries and make them rhyme
and tell a story.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
You maybe don't know that there was a story.

Speaker 7 (22:01):
I've been thinking about this a lot recently, that specifically
with rap music and why I was never into like
Liracol miracle, you know what I mean. And it's like,
because what I like from it most is you believing
what you said even if you didn't do it. And
I think sometimes people who just put words in to
put words in, aren't they know they're not saying you

(22:24):
know what I mean, Like where it's like two chains
meant that he means those things that he says, Yeah,
And that.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
To me is more attractive than just like feral.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
Mond's wood grain chestnut titty fuck chestnut chains.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
Come on, you can't beat it.

Speaker 2 (22:41):
It's like you got to be passionate about down.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
I think in this whole life.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
He wrote that top of the don't yeah, God damn.

Speaker 6 (22:51):
Because who writes down titty?

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Fuck?

Speaker 7 (22:54):
Come on, time I've ever written the word titty. I
felt bad about it for sure. Fuck what are you thinking?

Speaker 6 (23:04):
Man? My parents? I think titty is so funny.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
My parents just started to say, like, I'm thirty six
and I think maybe four years ago one time at
the house, my dad was just kind of like, titties and.

Speaker 3 (23:19):
Then everybody laugh like.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
It's like, it's not a word.

Speaker 6 (23:22):
He said growing up, it's not a word. But at
one point he was just like, fuck, it's grown titty.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
He's like, I didn't finally say that word.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Try.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
I've been sitting on this motherfucker for thirty six.

Speaker 3 (23:37):
Years trying, probably since it came out.

Speaker 8 (23:39):
Kids, Listen up.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
That was around the fire place. Titties, titties.

Speaker 3 (23:49):
Your father is a free man. Oh right, he is
a free.

Speaker 12 (23:52):
Memorated man that really speaks how much he believes in Yo.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (23:59):
Is like not miserable. My my family is straight. My
job did what they had to do. They are in
a good enough place that I can sit back and
finally be my fullest self.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
And titties and I paid for paid for.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Yeah, I own this furniture. Man, don't come calling for
me titties. You're right, it's beautiful. He's really proud of you.

Speaker 3 (24:24):
You can only hope one day to just say titties
in front of our family. I really want to say
titties in front of my kids some day.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, I can say.

Speaker 7 (24:30):
To eighty percent of my family. Yeah, it's like anybody
my mom's age and older.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
I wouldn't. Yeah, like I'm the cousins, I'm king cousin.
I could say titties. Wow, hellttle brothers, but like.

Speaker 7 (24:46):
Yeah, not like the old ones. Yeah, I don't even
do you guys, christ in front of your older family.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
I do. But we're loose, okay, yeah, we don't have
a lot of strong tradition and okay, okay, okay, what
about you know what my family.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
I'm actually not a big cursor outside of like I
do curse doing my stand up because it's kind of
like Sasha fears moment. I think, like my innermost feelings.
But I'm not a huge cursor like in conversation. But
I think I can curse around my granny and she
definitely curses yeah, she says, it is not a bad word.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
Yeow like that. You think you could start the ship, you.

Speaker 6 (25:28):
Know around my family?

Speaker 3 (25:30):
No, I just mean, like you say, the first year.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Yeah, if you sit down with your granny and like
you and she would be she.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
Would laugh and she would that's good whatever, that's beautiful.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Yeah, yeah, that's very nice.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
My grandmothers are no longer with me, But if they
were here, one of them would wouldn't give a ship.
If I cursed, then the other one would be she
would have died from it. Oh my goodness, it would
have killed her.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
I only knew one, and the one I knew she
it would be bad. It would be bad. She just
loved God so much.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Well, my grandmother too. She went to seminary school. She'll
be ninety this year. Oh hell yeah yeah, yeah, you
know what. Yes, it'll be in Dallas, absolutely.

Speaker 6 (26:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (26:16):
Love to be at her party.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Yeah, and she'll probably say a few times there. But
she's just a really good balance. Yeah, you know, she's
a really good balance of like the Lord and a
little bit of cussing.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
Okay. I love it when people get old and then
it feels like they struck a balance because I think
a lot of people get old and they just become
so rigid in this one thing. They were like, damn,
you never you never lived loose, You never got to
just run around a little bit. You never got to
say titties in the house with the kids. Come on, man,
that's part of it. Come on, that's part of the
whole journey. And if you guys are watching holding back,

(26:51):
say it, say it. Say it right now. If you
say the work loud, you don't know how long you're
going to have. These people say titties in front of them.
That's true.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
They they matter to you and they need to know it.
And the only way you can truly show that is
to say titties in front of your family.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
And if you're worried about the severity of titties, I
would say, ramp up, start saying booty.

Speaker 6 (27:17):
Starting booty below titties.

Speaker 3 (27:20):
I think.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
So, I think Booty's got to be in context. I
think I think you've got to be talking about an ass.
It can't be like booty and you're like being like
a little kid about it. It's got to be like.

Speaker 3 (27:34):
A yeah, you have to be yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
I'm not saying look at her booty, that's a that's
got to be the energy of it. But titties you
can just lay loose on the floor, everybody gets to
play with.

Speaker 9 (27:44):
No.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
I think that titties is far more I think that
just like I've never I've never articulated this before, but
this is I'm finding a core belief of mine.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
I'm I think that.

Speaker 7 (28:00):
Booty is far more appropriate to talk about in any
sort of polite situation.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Than titties is like vulgar kind of.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
I don't think that's quite my point. I'm saying that, yes,
I fully agree with you, booty is less severe than titties.
I'm saying, to reach the level of euphoria that your
father has reached, you need to be saying something on
scale with titties and booty doesn't satisfy unless it's referencing, Okay, specific.

Speaker 6 (28:36):
As yah booty is. That's nothing to me. Don't come
out here with your booty out, you know, that's nothing
to me. To me, like Kuchi would.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
Be Okay, now we're now we're talking. If your dad
gathered y'all around the place, I have to.

Speaker 6 (29:03):
Say I would actually be a little worried.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
You don't want that at all.

Speaker 2 (29:11):
You gotta start looking at homes.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
My mama got my mama gotta find somewhere to go.

Speaker 3 (29:17):
You did it again.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
Hey, he did it again. Hey, Dad cannot speak to
you upside.

Speaker 6 (29:26):
Yeah, let's step out.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
We're gonna have to do some cognitive tests because.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
You don't lost your dad mind and church.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
What are you going to do? You gotta take it easy, man,
you're drunk. You're drinking again, just saying, coachie, we should
take a break.

Speaker 3 (29:52):
We should.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
This has been great, so good, we'll be back jasmine more.
My mama told me.

Speaker 4 (30:07):
I'm short, I'm bold. I can't get any holes.

Speaker 8 (30:10):
I'm fighting my entire life.

Speaker 7 (30:13):
That drop felt like violence towards me. I don't know
who put it on there. I'm not sure where it
came from.

Speaker 4 (30:21):
Wait.

Speaker 6 (30:22):
Wait, you're not that short, and you said you're in
a relationship.

Speaker 1 (30:24):
So you're not that short and you're in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Don't check the stats.

Speaker 7 (30:39):
Uh no, it's just I think that I think that
if you're not six foot, then you're always.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
On edge a little bit. Oh yeah, yeah, I think
that's right.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
And you're and you're taller than me.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah, oh, I'm in my six foot era. So I
do understand where you guys. Okay, I just I just
posted today on my Instagram stories a guy was like
trying to do and me.

Speaker 6 (31:00):
I said, how tall are you? He said five to ten?
I said, oh, baby, I'm in my six foot era.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
You're off the rial.

Speaker 3 (31:06):
You who just said to the cameras that I'm very tall.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
You're like from the You're like, no, I can't.

Speaker 3 (31:14):
Can we can we get into this though, because I'm
so curious about this. Yeah, because I've always felt personally,
I don't think people know six foot off site like that.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
I do.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
I think you do because you're thorough.

Speaker 7 (31:28):
I think the majority of people who have that get
duped by a five to ten every day of the week.

Speaker 6 (31:33):
NA five eleven, we would be like two.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Inches is this much now?

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Yeah? But I will say that in man math, if
he's saying five ten, he's not five ten exactly. Probably
five eight, that's true, and you're that's a noticeable difference.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
And if he's five eight, he's five to seven exactly,
because five to seven sounds short. Five to seven, Yeah, okay,
I'm five. Hey, I'm happy to be here. I'm happy
to be here with my friend. I'm in a committed relationship.

Speaker 13 (32:09):
That's how tall I've paid a mortgage.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Don't make me no, what is it?

Speaker 12 (32:22):
Is it?

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Have do men under six ft? Do they have a
bad rapport with you?

Speaker 2 (32:28):
Is it? Have you gone?

Speaker 3 (32:29):
Like a lot of times we're like, I'm not doing
this again these guys.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
No.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
I think I think I'm a little bit flexible too.
It's a joke. I'm a little bit flexible. But I
think that where it stems from is I was married
for a really long time. Like I was in a
relationship for twelve years and I was married. And so
now that I'm single, I've been single a couple of
years and I have dated, you know, I've dated guys
who are shorter, and I'm just like, no, I'm in

(32:53):
my selfish era, you know, just because I'm saying, you know,
I really want to date someone taller.

Speaker 3 (32:59):
Now.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
You know, I wasn't married to someone who is short,
but still I want to date somebody taller.

Speaker 6 (33:04):
Now.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
I've tried to date people who said that they were
five eleven and they.

Speaker 6 (33:07):
Weren't there five nine. Why you keep saying you five eleven.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
I'm looking at you, you know, so like now I'm
just like I'm in my six foot erage.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Just let me have this krekno a preference, you know.
And and when they get the shorter they get, then
they get too buffy. I don't know. I mean, I
mean personality buff. We were just talking about this the
other day.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, there is a like a look like a little
jacked man is five. It's a very specific personality that
is super hard to connect with, where they are in
a defensive mode at all times because not always able
to just be themselves. And there are some exceptions. I

(33:56):
have friends who are exception at that. But yeah, but
on average, Ridge little jacks man got a real specific
personality that don't go well with me.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Yes, like I benched three fifteen.

Speaker 7 (34:09):
Yeah, that's what they got to say, truthfully, what are
you ten?

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Right? I'm probably five ten and a half. How when
did you realize six wasn't coming? Because that's that's a
hard day for a man. I think every I think
every man has that day where they're like this shit.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
I I had a nasty checkpoint in high school where
I was a basketball player the whole time, played freshman ball,
played sophomore ball, was like on track to make the team,
didn't make the team junior year.

Speaker 3 (34:43):
But that's the worst year to not make it dog.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
Because that's what sunk into my head immediately, was like, oh,
maybe this is my stopping point physically, like it just
ate at whatever. Like confidence that I previously held immediately
devolved and it became sort of like, all right, oh
fuck my dad six two, but I'm not like starting

(35:10):
to get close to that. I'm sixteen seventeen. Yeah, yes,
isn't something isn't tracking to work out in my favor
via this like physical athletic body. And so then I
just started writing poetry.

Speaker 7 (35:26):
You're smart because that happened to me, And I just
started smoking more we like because I was like, because
I even I was so sure the spurt was coming,
because I hadn't met my dad yet.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
I was so.

Speaker 3 (35:39):
I was so sure, I swear to god, I was
so sure the spirit was coming.

Speaker 12 (35:43):
Funny, that's so funny that that for you, meeting your
dad was like a little boobu in boxing.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
We're just you don't know what the fuck you're about
to get?

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Well, you know what it was. It was really like,
and this is fucked right.

Speaker 7 (35:58):
I would have forgiven the absence if I had clocked
some shit in you that I could use.

Speaker 3 (36:05):
You showed up little. You can't be little and gone.

Speaker 6 (36:11):
Your mom didn't tell you that he was little about nothing.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
She didn't want to tell me he was there. When
he came. She was like, but what I'm saying is
so I thought it was coming. So I even was
on track to be sought off. But I got strong
as hell because I was a defensive tackle.

Speaker 7 (36:30):
You can't be that little, you know what I'm saying.
So I got strong as ship. And I was like, yeah, men,
I bench three fifteen by the time I should come in. Yeah,
by till my ship comes.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
In, it's gonna be crazy.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
I'm gonna it's just gonna be. I do squats because
once it stretches out, now it's nasty.

Speaker 2 (36:47):
I'm Michael Or and I can read.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Come on, come on, come on now, now, now you
gotta do something with me. Yeah, and then it just
like and then I met my dad and then it
just didn't. And then I was like, but then you
hold out hope because my mom got toad brothers. Yeah,
so you're like, okay, but maybe somehow. But then I'm
also seeing my grandma's same body. And then I'm like shit,

(37:08):
I think I you know, when you see where you
lined up, you're like, I think I got that.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
I got Grandma Auntie Jeans.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
I didn't get Uncle Solomon, the tall, cool one.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
That really sucks to see your body in your grandma.

Speaker 7 (37:21):
It's one of the harder it's one of the toughest
losses I've taken in my life.

Speaker 6 (37:26):
So wait, this is your dad's mom.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
My mom's mom.

Speaker 3 (37:29):
I don't even know my dad's mom. Okay, So, but
like it's like my mom my grandma was really big,
and my auntie and they're Africa.

Speaker 7 (37:37):
So it's just like it is genetic. It's not like
you know what I'm saying. That was like, it's just
that's how it is, my grandma and my auntie.

Speaker 3 (37:43):
But then I have three real tall, cool looking uncles. Yeah,
cool looking right, shady yeah Solomon.

Speaker 8 (37:57):
Right, and it because.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
She also in that era, big old.

Speaker 3 (38:10):
This is a dangerous game if you want to play,
I know.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Uh.

Speaker 7 (38:18):
But yeah, So I was like maybe I got some residual,
and then I realized I didn't. So at some point
you're just like I just got to thug it out
like this, you know, man, that's me.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
I could be Desmond. We I did some research on
your conspiracy theory. We're still talking about the possibility that
that stepping on a crack will break your mother's back.
And apparently this was a lot more dense in terms
of information than I expected. I thought this was just
a nursery rhyme type thing that kids fucking around with.

(38:50):
But it's not goofy kids shit. It apparently has a
little bit of a complicated history. So the original saying,
or at least the saying that we currently use in
its long form, because there was a long form of
this that included lyrics step on a crack, you'll break
your mother's back, Step on a line, you'll break your
father's spine, step in a ditch, your mother's nose will itch.

(39:11):
Step in dirt, you'll tear your father's shirt. Okay, it's
real violent up top. And then it gets pretty.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
Pretty. I think we all thought that was going so wrong. Yeah, yeah,
I thought so for sure.

Speaker 2 (39:29):
I was like, oh, this is getting nasty all right,
here we go, And.

Speaker 3 (39:32):
Is this like, is this like from a bad time?
Is this like a ring around the rosy thing?

Speaker 2 (39:37):
It seems as if this was like early twentieth century
or mid twentieth century that this version of it starts
to take over, right, So so like nineteen fifties, let's
say this is when it becomes a little bit more
of this bigger nursery rhyme that everybody's using. But before that,

(39:57):
there was actually like other versions of this thing, including
and this is pretty wild, if you step on a crack,
you'll marry a black person.

Speaker 7 (40:07):
Wait by those cracks early to get to you, baby,
I was investing in our future, So no shade.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
I was going to say the original the first rhyme
that you said, I'm like, okay, do you sound like
white people problems? Yeah, because tearing your father's shirt, your
mama knows it, and this is not serious enough for us. Yeah,
but that that explains a little bit more. I'm like, oh,
this is a little what is the white people nursing?

Speaker 2 (40:31):
This is a racist nursery rhyme, seems, And they they
hated us so much they didn't even want to rhyme it.
They were just like, you step on the crack, get
marry a black person.

Speaker 7 (40:43):
They didn't say the word just rhymes with black. I
think when it was written it was not a black person.
I don't think this was a rhyme.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
As much as this was just a thing. They were
saying this.

Speaker 2 (40:51):
This is another version of it that circulates to prove
your point. There was one that said, if you step
on a crack, your mother will be black. Wow, they're
like this retroactively, you're gonna find out you got a
nigga mama because are so cool. Yeah, it sounds that
I think they don't realize it's pretty awesome.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
Yeah, it's a blessing.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yeah, that's the only way I learned at.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
All, the way it sounds difficult.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
The way you want to God damn it. Yeah, it
really speaks to just how much all of this stuff
is rooted in like racism, Like not just this song,
but like everything in America. Yeah, in some version of racism.

Speaker 7 (41:39):
It's truly the story of this country. It's like I
feel like, not that there isn't lots of racism.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
I think black versus white racism is like the story
of America from the beginning. That's like the main through line.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Yeah, there were there's also a version this is a
one not racist version I saw that was like an
originating form that said. In the twentieth century, they would
sometimes say you'll be eaten by bears at lunch if
you step on a crack.

Speaker 6 (42:06):
Oh, that ain't even dead. I don't even run.

Speaker 2 (42:08):
No, that's a warning that they rode on a wall
or something.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
And if you're not, you're not somewhere that has bears
and cracks. Right, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Thank you for saying that. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, this
is bullshit. Yeah I think you're right. Yeah, it doesn't
make sense at all.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
No, that's stupid.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
This is even in Alaska they don't have like bear
and crack, you know what I mean, Like there's some
separation of the church and state.

Speaker 6 (42:35):
The ice cracks.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
But are you walking on the ice?

Speaker 6 (42:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (42:40):
I think if you're walking on the ice, you don't
need this saying there, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (42:45):
Also, if you're near a polar bear, that it's it's done. Yeah,
what's the bear rhyme? White taped flight?

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Yeah, polar bear is the biggest scariest one.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
Yeah, that's the one that will kill you for sure. Well, really, black,
get that brown get down.

Speaker 6 (42:59):
Yeah they did it right.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yeah, Black and black you you yell at them and
ship ye try to scare them. Yeah, and then brown
you pish yourself and you lay down and hope they
don't kill you, and then polar bear you dead. You can't.
You ain't the whitest bear, the most dangerous, the most dangerous.
It's the white one, and I think we can all

(43:21):
agree on that. And the biracial bear is the nicest one.

Speaker 6 (43:25):
Which one is.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Doing that?

Speaker 4 (43:30):
Man?

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Panda bears tell me I'm wrong?

Speaker 3 (43:39):
Is not mean?

Speaker 2 (43:39):
They're like ill tempered though, No, pandas are laziest. Fuck okay,
and they won't have sex with each other they like,
Oh they're not may they do it, but it requires
a lot of coercion and a lot of like very
specific timing to get them to funk, which is why
they're endangered.

Speaker 3 (43:59):
Where are they made it to China?

Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah? I think so. It's Asia for sure. I don't know,
you know which parts specifically.

Speaker 1 (44:08):
I actually recently learned that pandas that's where chlamydia came from.

Speaker 2 (44:12):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (44:13):
Really, yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 2 (44:15):
I'm gonna be honest. That sounds like an absolute lie,
but I'm excited to explore this.

Speaker 6 (44:21):
I should look it up.

Speaker 3 (44:23):
Because I don't know how it gets from them to us.
That's right, you do know how it takes right. I
really need to know if this is true. Now type
in panda beara media look it up.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Now, I got to remember how to spell chlamydia c
h l A and too fast. You got it? If
you spelled c h l A M Y D I A,
I got it?

Speaker 3 (44:51):
Is that right? I think I might have spelled.

Speaker 6 (44:53):
I think that might be right spelled.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
Climate media h.

Speaker 12 (44:58):
L say that here is gonna get winto that and
we're gonna have that movie coming any day now.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Media takes on climate controls sort of the.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Movie We All this Country Need That actually would be
a really fucking bring us together as film?

Speaker 3 (45:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, would it be.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
Climate Media sounded like a pretty good title to me.
But I madea madea goes to the Ozone layer, right.

Speaker 3 (45:29):
I don't know this.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Medea goes green.

Speaker 7 (45:31):
Media goes green, yea because she'll also smoke weed in
the movie.

Speaker 2 (45:36):
And I think there's like a really nice scene where
like she Greta Thumberg is like giving an impassioned speech
and then media can like hit her with a purse
and be like shut up, bitch, I got this, and
then just down the barrel say all the things we need.

Speaker 3 (45:53):
Okay, Tyler. I know we talked a lot about you. Yeah,
we said a lot of bad ship, but this is
a once in a lifetime I actually.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
I think you could save the world, Tyler Perry, and
I've never said that. I think you're in a position
right now to save everything. MADEA Goes Green is an
opportunity to not only build your franchise, possibly into its
final stage, but more importantly, you can truly save our planet.

(46:22):
You can encourage a bunch of people who have not
taken climate change seriously for a multitude of reasons. Environmental
warfare on the black community is an active thing, and
we should not ignore that. That said, old black people
ain't excited about saving the environment, and you could change that,
Tyler Perry. We're trusting this with you. Would be huge.

(46:42):
I don't need to cut. I do.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
Don't do that studio. He doesn't pay union prices.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
He could give us a gun. We could get a cut,
give us a cut, give us a cut, but it
ain't got to be a big cut. I just need
you to save the world.

Speaker 1 (47:00):
Do we even need the movie? I mean he is
a billionaire. Just the money, yeah, yeah, something.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
I got a feeling that that's not how he does business.

Speaker 12 (47:14):
Something tells me that I don't think he got to
a billion dollars by being.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
Charitable with it, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 (47:21):
Yeah, how far I was thinking about this. This doesn't
have anything to do with anything. Yeah, how far in
terms of common decency? How far do you think the
nicest billionaire is above like the nicest person or below
the nicest person you know, in terms of like common
decens common decency.

Speaker 2 (47:42):
Yeah, I think billionaires are some of the most commonly
decent people on the planet.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
But the actions you can't, like, you can't detach that
from that, like you have to. Oh, I guess I'm
asking are you referring to how they behave like their
propriety or are you talking about like their actual common
like they're actual because propriety so far from That's what
I mean. They're all gonna be. They're all very well
spoken and I'm sure charming and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
That's what I think. They're all extremely charmed, like extremely personal.
Everybody that talks about Donald trumpele loved with him. Go
that dude is awesome.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
People love that people people he was really beloved, like
just like a very personal guy.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
I think a lot of people when they come back
and granted to meet with him is to already have
made decisions in your hand where you're like wanting to
like this person, but nobody is. On average, nobody's walking
away and being like he was an asshole as much
as they are charmed by him. And I think that

(48:45):
that is not at all reflective of a good person.
He is a awful, awful, just evil person. But at
its root that has nothing to do with your socializing
and charming ship, right know.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
I associate billionaires because I've been in close proximity with
people who want to be billionaires, right, and they're the
most charming, nice, sweet but they're they don't care about
other people, right, So you know, like I may see
somebody and be like, oh my god, I may see
things happening across the world and be like, oh this

(49:21):
is terrible. They honestly just don't give a fuck. Yeah,
that's how billionaires operate. So you might meet them and
they might be kind, but I truly believe they just
honestly do not care about other people at all whatsoever.

Speaker 6 (49:35):
And that's how you get to billionaires.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Sat for you. Elon's whole thing is that he thinks
he's saving the world, right, Like he really built that
up in his head, is like I am saving the planet,
and he sees all of like the pain, the suffering,
the sort of like the challenge is that he's adding

(49:57):
to the world as necessary sacrifice is for a greater good.
He's imagined. This isn't a person who has even the
ability to see your experience and value it, because he's like, Noah,
I gotta I'm iron Man, bro, I gotta keep being
iron Man.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
Yeah, yeah, you gotta be a hero. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:17):
It sucking. Sucks.

Speaker 3 (50:19):
Can I tell you all something else that sucks? Yeah?
There are a bunch of other nursery rhyme type things
that have these same racist origins.

Speaker 6 (50:29):
Wait, what happened to chlamydia? You're supposed to be looking.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Oh that's nonsense. You're you're spreading absolutely. I was trying
to do you a favor the other day. Yeah, No,

(50:59):
it's pandas don't even really come up. Koalas are the
ones that everybody thinks I think I have, they have
or or there's a lot of questions of whether or
not they in fact have Chlamydiaan they're all giving it
to each other. I think that is also a little
bit of a non truth, but it's a little more

(51:19):
complicated than they do have it, but it isn't necessarily
as like actively spreading in their community because of fucking
the way that we've made it same.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Yeah, it's like HPV.

Speaker 2 (51:34):
I think all the boy ones don't know if they
have it, and they're probably given it.

Speaker 6 (51:39):
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
Well, okay, racist origins for these other nursery rhymes, right
any meenie miney mo? Are we familiar yeah with that?
The tiger is nigger? What it's in the original nursery rhyme?
There is no tiger. There's only a nigger in replace
of the tiger, and it was catching nigger by his

(52:04):
toe if he hollers, let him go any mini money?

Speaker 9 (52:08):
Mo.

Speaker 6 (52:08):
Yeah, I think I've heard that one before.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Yeah, and this is where it gets even more interesting.
The the original to that, the one that that was
catch a negro by his toe if he hollers, make
him pay twenty dollars every day.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
I've heard that one, not with with a tiger.

Speaker 2 (52:30):
Oh the tigers meant to pay you money?

Speaker 3 (52:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard that.

Speaker 8 (52:33):
I really Oh that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
You want this try to learn American at the time.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
At the time of this, twenty dollars was a lot.

Speaker 8 (52:45):
That's just asking somebody twenty dollars.

Speaker 6 (52:47):
I'm like, that's a lot of lone.

Speaker 2 (52:49):
Money for a tiger especially, I would say.

Speaker 6 (52:51):
Well even for that person.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
Whenever this came out, twenty dollars a day was what
it says, not to cost that back then, and this
is way before early nineteen hundreds. This is so its
origins is slaves, right, This is about like the slave
trade and specifically placing a value on that slave. So
they are charging In essence, what they're doing is saying

(53:15):
a slave is worth twenty dollars a day, and that
is an insane price to put on someone's head and
expect them to even have the chance to buy their
freedom in a system that they were never allowed to
participate in in the first place.

Speaker 6 (53:30):
Right, It really.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
Always gets like this at the end.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
Damn, I couldn't even I couldn't even begin to make money,
much less twenty dollars a day as a slave, exactly.

Speaker 6 (53:40):
It's about them. It's about you being indebted to them.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Yeah yeah, fuck now, it's real nasty. Here's here's the
last little nasty one. I'll throw y'all away. No, this
one sucks too. The ice cream Truck song.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
Oh yeah, yeah, so the No, that's monkey chase it.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
That's pop goes the Weasel, not that one. The the
ice cream truck song is a specific I don't think
it is.

Speaker 3 (54:09):
That it is.

Speaker 6 (54:10):
What is the I don't know. I can't think of it.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
I'm gonna but we're gonna play it real quick and
see if this satisfies.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
Oh yeah, it's jibs hanglo.

Speaker 2 (54:29):
Yeah exactly. That's the racist origins. So the ice cream
Truck song, although there are no lyrics to the song
that we know, actually comes from a song called Nigga
Love a Watermelon. Ha ha ha. God, that's a lot.

Speaker 3 (54:52):
That's not what it's called. That's a lot. I don't
like that at all.

Speaker 6 (54:56):
That's true. I heard. I've heard that.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
You've heard Nigger watermelon and I don't like zandi yar.
That's the way it is, the Nigger love of watermelon.
Ha ha ha.

Speaker 3 (55:06):
That's a I man, fuck that.

Speaker 6 (55:09):
No, that's so that's dead ass yeah sung.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
The song was written by an actor named Harry C.
Brown and released to the public in nineteen sixteen. However,
the song is much older than its release date. According
to an article and podcast on NPR by Theodore R. Johnson,
the second Brown simply used the well known melody of
the early nineteenth century song Turkey in the Straw, which

(55:33):
dates to an even to even older and traditional British
song the Old Rose Tree. So he took these songs,
put his words to it, and was like, nigger love
a watermelon, ha ha ha. And that became so popular
that it is now our ice cream truck song.

Speaker 3 (55:51):
Yeah, fuck you, That's how I feel.

Speaker 6 (55:58):
It's crazy. Yeah, God damn, I'm always like so.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
Excited to order watermelon or to eat watermelon because it
is a story of black entrepreneurship and white people's attempt
to make it to make us feel bad about creating
a job for ourselves.

Speaker 3 (56:19):
That they started up, which is nasty, nasty whites. They
love fucking up somebody else making good food. Yeah, man,
just like you know.

Speaker 7 (56:27):
What I mean, like the watermelon thing, the MSG thing,
like they really just like they really love being like
that food's dirty.

Speaker 3 (56:34):
You can't have it no more.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
Did I tell you the conspiracy I heard about White Castle?
So apparently all right, watch this okay, already apparently White
Castle started as a segregated restaurant, right it was White
Castle because only white people could go to White Castle.
And then somebody nearby built a Black Castle for black

(57:00):
people to enjoy the same type of food. But Black
Castle started thriving so much more than White Castle, like
with sunning them. The food was better, the service was better,
everybody was happier at Black Castle. Regulares that crinicled bullshit.
The sandwiches big, bild, They're still square, but they big. Yeah,

(57:21):
it's good, and everybody's like, fuck, yeah, we fucked with
Black Castle. And then the White Castle people got so
mad they burned down Black Castle and scared the owners
from ever reopening Black Castle. And then White Castle was
able to franchise and spread its wings into a larger society.

Speaker 6 (57:42):
Is this this is a true story?

Speaker 2 (57:43):
I have no idea, but isn't it? Isn't that just fun?
It used to exist that we used to have something.
I'll give you another one, Tyler, this fall on Netflix,
blacks Castle. Tyler, you keep your grubby hands off of it. Ruby,

(58:07):
No grubby you trying to word check me? Grubby? Your
hands are grubby from all the oils you rub on
your boys. They're grubby fingers, and you leave black Castle alone.

Speaker 3 (58:19):
You're welcome to media ghos. You can't, my dear you want,
you leave me my black castle, You leave me my black.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
Feel like black Castle is like a viable title for
a Tyler Perry film, but it is gonna be about
a nigga with no shirt on.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
Sure, dark dark feeling.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
Yeah, my name Castle.

Speaker 3 (58:40):
Yes, and he's gonna yell at women.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
All right. I think we need to take one more break,
take one more break, and then we'll do a voicemail together.
Great more, Jasmine more. My mama told me.

Speaker 1 (59:06):
Pot my butt, pop, pop my butt, pot my butt, pop,
pop my butt.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
Do you know what pop my butt meant to Harriet Tubman?
Do you know what that meant? It meant a whip.

Speaker 3 (59:19):
We're back.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
We're back, We're back, and we're taking this seriously. They're
still here with Jasmine w We're gonna do a voicemail.
We're going to listen to a voicemail.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
Oh man, they're weird.

Speaker 2 (59:32):
They're often weird and and sometimes complicated. But we got
a very intriguing tagline from this person, so I'm excited
to play it.

Speaker 9 (59:42):
What's up, Langston, what's up. David John from Denver, longtime listener,
love the show Funniest Shit. I got to two conspiracy theories,
or two long held beliefs. I grew up into Themica
Republic and they got a whole bunch of crazy shit
over there, but two of the craziest. Number one, there

(01:00:06):
is a long held belief from mostly the rural areas.
And this was mostly talk to me about from other
guys that grew up in farms in the Dominican Republic.
But there's this thing that you could increase your penis
size by using the spit off a goat. Now again,

(01:00:30):
you can use the spit or you can do it
the other way.

Speaker 3 (01:00:34):
Oh, okay, this is nasty. You're nasty. That's crazy Dominican.

Speaker 11 (01:00:45):
This he's saying you could either swipe a goat's mouth
and rubbing on your dick, or you can just get
your dick sucked by a goat.

Speaker 3 (01:00:58):
Which is crazy because they eat every think that comes
in contract with a goat is moving its teeth out
the way to engage your penis.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Yeah, you're fucking the goats and that's you're you're pretending
as if this is like some sort of sexual thing
when in fact, you're just molesting goats.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
Also, I don't think you're Dominican. I think you're from Nebraska,
and this is you're a home state lord.

Speaker 6 (01:01:22):
Whoa.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
I didn't say Denver because that's where I'm from. And
I don't like you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
You're saying this Dominican Republican. It is just to throw
off Whoa. Yeah, that's and I don't want to judge.
You know, people talk different. That's the he said.

Speaker 3 (01:01:39):
He grew up in the Dominican.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Yeah, he said, other farmers in the Dominican would talk
about this.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
I haven't met a lot of Dominican farmers.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
I don't know a lot of Dominican farmers. What's their
biggest resource? What do they export? It's the crib.

Speaker 6 (01:01:53):
It's probably like a lot of sugarcane, right, That's what
I would guess, But I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:01:57):
Okay, sugar gang is not say something.

Speaker 12 (01:02:08):
Old baseball player alight, Oh my gosh, baseball players with
fat old glasses.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
I think he said you can use the spit as
like he lied about that. He the the thing is
is they put their penises really close to the goat's
mouths or I can't imagine that they're going in the
goat's mouse.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Because I've never owned a goat. No, I don't know
how close you can get to a goat.

Speaker 7 (01:02:36):
Yeah, I know that they eat through ship like they
they people using the clear fields and ship like they
just can.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
That's what they do. Yeah, they just chomp through ships
like that.

Speaker 6 (01:02:47):
But their tongues are all like out and like wiggling.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
So I mean they're devil. They're devil animals. Have you
seen their eyes square? Yeah, nasty.

Speaker 6 (01:02:56):
I don't think i've ever seen it them.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
Close square pupils. It's fucked.

Speaker 3 (01:03:00):
It's off the hard, look like rectangle, but it looks
they look like demons.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
It's my favorite thing that Tracy Morgan has ever said
was that no God devilized.

Speaker 9 (01:03:12):
No.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
You understand why people thought like Bapha met or those
demons like they were goat based is because yeah, that
ship it looks like it's not supposed to be.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
It's the most cursed looking eyeball.

Speaker 3 (01:03:22):
I would say, I don't have a hairless cat, I know, yeah,
why curious. Yeah, nobody likes it.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
Something.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
That guy we were with the other night, he was like, well,
he was like, in Atlanta, that's a sign of wealth,
and I was like, yeah, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:38):
He really hits you with some Victorians.

Speaker 1 (01:03:40):
Yeah, it is a I don't think it is a
sign of wealth in Atlanta. I don't know if that's
a compliment in Atlanta.

Speaker 7 (01:03:52):
Some rich rich people in Atlanta. I think we all
agreed that's true, some rich rich people.

Speaker 2 (01:03:58):
Yeah, but they're doing it weird, weird about it, all right.

Speaker 4 (01:04:04):
But.

Speaker 9 (01:04:06):
I want you guys to tell me what you know
about that. The other one, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:04:10):
Anything about that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
Yeah, I don't really know. I've never never heard that.
I've never heard that. I've never It certainly cannot work,
and if it does work, shame on you for finding
that out.

Speaker 7 (01:04:21):
Yeah, if there was anything that worked, we all would
have figured it out by right.

Speaker 3 (01:04:27):
No one's keeping that secret. Goats are everywhere. Yeah, this
isn't vibranium. This we're talking about, not just goats. If
there was any animal product that made your dick bigger, yeah,
any product. Sure. So, if there's some tree in the
middle of the Amazon that sap is poisonous, but it
makes your dick bigger, we would have found it.

Speaker 6 (01:04:44):
Exactly.

Speaker 7 (01:04:45):
Like it's like, there's there's nothing you just got what
you got, ma, man, Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 6 (01:04:49):
No, there's surgery.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
Yeah, there are surgeries and are they are they? What's
the success rate on? Does it really?

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
Like?

Speaker 6 (01:04:58):
I have no idea.

Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
It was like a like a tissue situation, like you
need to add tissue that would react to blood.

Speaker 2 (01:05:05):
My understanding is the surgeries do work, I think the
much in the way that like the leg lengthening surgeries
are where like you can improve the size of your
dick via surgery, but then you like lose functionality of
your dig right you have to.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
You've just spent three years learning how to stroke.

Speaker 6 (01:05:25):
Against and probably didn't know to begin with.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
You don't one of them just trying.

Speaker 12 (01:05:37):
You can't do it, Like come on, man, come on,
I can't.

Speaker 2 (01:05:45):
I can't do this anymore. I can't found nothing. You stroke.

Speaker 6 (01:05:52):
You're drunk. You're drunk, So.

Speaker 2 (01:05:57):
What if I am.

Speaker 1 (01:05:59):
I'm gonna say that all day.

Speaker 9 (01:06:06):
Okay, here we go right next to Haiti. There is
this thing that Haitian women have called morvan and basically
it's the pussy sucking the dick when you're fucking it.
Please let me know if you've heard about it. Love
the show, y'all are crazy.

Speaker 7 (01:06:24):
We're crazy, sure, don't talk to me like that.

Speaker 3 (01:06:30):
So that's second one, though. I think different cultures call
it different things.

Speaker 6 (01:06:34):
Yeah, wait, wait, what was it it was?

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
You never heard that song twissy be yanking? Yeah, of course, yeah,
I think that's what.

Speaker 6 (01:06:40):
He's Oh, he's talking about grip.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Yeah, he's talking about Yeah, he's suggesting that in Haitian culture,
they they've like, uh, they've called it or referred to
it as like the pussy sucking the dick, the pussy
is sucking the dick as it's you're inside of it, okay.

Speaker 3 (01:06:58):
Right, But I think it's I think it's just I
think it's a Yeah, that one, we're into the second one.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
I think I think I would have been more comfortable
with it if you wouldn't call in on so much
nasty ship.

Speaker 3 (01:07:12):
But I do want to hear the term.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
He called it Coco Coco because Coco's funny to have
in the front of that Never it is coco.

Speaker 3 (01:07:19):
It's great because I'm not gonna lie. As soon as
you said Haitian women, I was like, I'm gonna hate right. Yeah,
I like Titaned. There was a Dominican dude with a
wet goat dick talking about Haitian women.

Speaker 2 (01:07:30):
It's got to go bad.

Speaker 3 (01:07:31):
Yeah, that's really as good as I could have gone.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
Yeah, that was pretty good. He just wanted to know
about pussy called more.

Speaker 3 (01:07:43):
There wasn't a z in there too. One more time.
I think have called, and that's what I thought I heard, Mortisan,
I'm hearing Moron. Hold On, I'm gonna I'm gonna google it.
You google it. My phone's dead. Car be plaguing up
my ship any more than it's already plugged up, kind of.

Speaker 8 (01:08:05):
Like listen, those are yeah, yeah to all that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:11):
I think that what you're talking about is a very
regular thing that's not only specific to Haiti, although I'm
sure they have it in abundance. Yeah, I don't think
that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Should open that before the thing, Okay, I think it is.
I think it's Coco Mordan and it refers to two things.
According to the AI overview, which I trust, is a
term for an ancient tan trick technique of muscle contraction

(01:08:44):
and relaxation kegels in the Dominican to achieve sexual pleasure
and aid in childbirth. It is literally okay.

Speaker 3 (01:08:52):
Also, you know what I like about that? I don't
feel like there is as much talk about ancient sexual
technique a lot of different It's like I feel like
we hear about the common suture and that's it, and
it's like all these places I'm sure have been doing.

Speaker 2 (01:09:12):
I'll say this, and maybe this is a little bit
of a nice full circle for this conversation. I do think,
and I stand on this, that millennials are the smartest generation.
I do not think we're the best at fucking I
think that history would tell us that the people before
us were fucking better, stronger, more vivacious than we will

(01:09:32):
ever know.

Speaker 3 (01:09:33):
I think it's because we're further away from being animals.

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
And they are, and I think we would do well
to study them and learn how to get a little
bit more of that animal, rather than to be to
pretend is if we've got it all figured out.

Speaker 3 (01:09:46):
I think we're fucking better than anybody below us, below.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
Us, like generations, oh like gen Z and jen Alfa
and all them when they come around. Yeah, yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:09:58):
What they are.

Speaker 6 (01:10:00):
Though I don't know how old those kids are.

Speaker 2 (01:10:01):
I think they're just there. You have to learn in
their twenties, right, really, Yeah, yeah, I think they're smack
dab in their twenties high end low.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
I think that, but they just had they don't have
porno exposure early, so it's like ed and stuff like
that is a big problem, and they are.

Speaker 2 (01:10:18):
Having statistically way less sex than we Yeah. Yeah, hm hmm,
so yeah, we're the best. We're the best right now,
all right.

Speaker 3 (01:10:28):
I don't know, I'm fish enough to take it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
I don't know if I agree because I well actually
started a podcast. I have a podcast called Jazz after
Dark just for my Patreon because there's no safe space
I feel like for to talk openly about intimacy. So
I talk about sex, intimacy relationships sometimes, but it's mainly
about a sex podcast. But I feel like our generation
is so uptight, and I think it's maybe because our

(01:10:51):
parents are our grandparents. We're so uptight when it comes
to talking about that stuff that I'm like, we can't
be that good at it if you're not willing to
talk about it and like share information, And we can't
be that good at sex.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
Yeah, that's interesting because I feel I do feel like
older people talked about it a lot less. I think
they fucked more. I think there was just not as
much talk around it, I think they which is a
problem because then I think that that is what leads
to like, I think they.

Speaker 2 (01:11:19):
Just didn't lead with it the same way we do.
I think they talked about it more more often than
we realize, Like I think, like, I mean, what the
fuck were the temptations singing about if not like sex
in some version? They just they just weren't leading so
intensely with the language of sex.

Speaker 7 (01:11:39):
I mean there, I do think that there is a
possibility of that, right that, like, there are always the
because sex has been happening forever.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
I don't think we just.

Speaker 2 (01:11:47):
Now discovered a good way to do it, you know
what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:11:51):
So I think it's I think maybe it just wasn't
talked about, And I think it was talked about between
like between people. I think it wasn't talked about like
like you ever read like books from like dudes from
the seventies, like like what's that Nathan mccallbook makes me
want to holler. All them dudes did was sit around
and talk about fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:12:08):
That's what I mean. Teddy Pendergrass was the nastiest man
on the planet, right, but he wasn't really saying nothing
that nasty. You just knew, like when he was like
turn off the lights, you then imagined all of what
Teddy was about to do to this lady. And I
think that's more what we're like. They did. They didn't

(01:12:28):
lead with it the same way, but they were really
getting it in before us.

Speaker 6 (01:12:32):
Yeah, So I don't know if millennials are the best
at that.

Speaker 3 (01:12:36):
That's fair.

Speaker 2 (01:12:36):
I think you're probably right. We don't. We don't win
that championship.

Speaker 3 (01:12:40):
I mean, but right now they're old, they're too old,
that's true. Well, just but just by age, I think
we got it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:47):
Like, I don't know, I'll say this, I don't think
you age out of it.

Speaker 6 (01:12:52):
Well, what about is it?

Speaker 1 (01:12:53):
Like like what's the next generation above us? Like Luke
and like, uh you know next Yeah, don't you have
like Luke and don't you have like Freakfest? And like yeah,
I think I think maybe the generation that's a little
bit older than us might be a little bit better.

Speaker 7 (01:13:09):
You're saying our parents might be better. It hurts the personified.

Speaker 2 (01:13:17):
I hated when you said that. I understand that.

Speaker 1 (01:13:21):
I think, well, my parents are older, so it wouldn't
be my parents because they're baby boomers. Okay, okay, so
it'd be like our older siblings or something.

Speaker 3 (01:13:28):
Okay, cool. I mean my mom's for sure, Oh okay,
my mom.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
Yeah, my mom's fifty eight.

Speaker 3 (01:13:37):
Yeah, my mom's from thirty eight. My mom's fifty seven.

Speaker 6 (01:13:41):
Yeah okay, so y'all my parents are sixty five.

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
Oh okay, yeah, so y'all's mama's well okay.

Speaker 2 (01:13:49):
I like that. We had a nice time. We were
having a good day to day you didn't have.

Speaker 1 (01:13:53):
Y'all, Mama, y'all, mama, those girls.

Speaker 3 (01:14:01):
We were being so kind. Jasmine, this was so fun.
Could you tell the people where they can find you?

Speaker 6 (01:14:08):
I had a blast.

Speaker 1 (01:14:09):
Y'all can find me on Instagram or TikTok at ja
z m y n j W also have a YouTube
comedian Jasmine W. And I have a Patreon where I
talk about sex and intimacy on a show called Jazz
after Dark And uh yeah, so yeah that's where you
can find me.

Speaker 3 (01:14:23):
Hell yeah, hell what you got? Cool? Got joke City
seven on Instagram? Oh players, fuck up? My special dozen't
premiere September ninth. Premiere September twenty ninth on a eight
hundred pound gorilla. But you still watch it?

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
You still playing September ninth for weeks?

Speaker 3 (01:14:39):
Why are you doing that? Why are you doing this?
Can I just get my shirt off September twenty nine
hundred pound Gorilla's YouTube and I'll be posting about it.

Speaker 2 (01:14:55):
Yeah. You can follow me at Langston Kerrman on all
social media platforms. You can see me on tour right
God damn now, it's the aspiring Deadbeat Tour. It is,
it is happening, it is thriving. I'm in all kinds
of cities. Langston Kremer dot com. To find out where
I'm at and how you can attend, And as always,
send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories. Tell

(01:15:18):
us which generation was fucking the best? Send it all
to my mama pot at gmail dot com. We would
love to hear from you. Give us a call at
A four four Little Moms. We want to hear those
voicemails and most importantly, like subscribe, rate, review, do all
the things that help a podcast thrive. We cherish you
so much. Bye, bitch, Why are you?

Speaker 8 (01:15:40):
Something's going on?

Speaker 2 (01:15:41):
Can I smell? YOLG? My Mama told me is a
production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:15:54):
Greet It and hosted by Langston Correctly.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
Co hosted by David Bori.

Speaker 7 (01:15:58):
Executive produced by will Fare, Narod Hansani and Olivia Aguilon.

Speaker 2 (01:16:02):
Co produced by Bee Wayne.

Speaker 3 (01:16:04):
Edited and engineered by Justin Kopfon, music by Nick Chambers,
artwork by Dogon Kreega.

Speaker 2 (01:16:11):
You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me
on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe
to our channel

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Episode Transcript

Hosts And Creators

Langston Kerman

David Gborie

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